• Jon Gosselin attempted to make peace with Kate Gosselin at a divorce arbitration hearing yesterday by bringing roses to the courtroom. Kate turned them down, "but in the end it all came together and concluded on a happy note." [People]

• According to Jon's lawyer, Mark Heller "it's possible" that The Gosselins divorce could be finalized by the end of the year. [People]
• According to ABC, production has temporarily stopped on Courteney Cox's show Cougar Town "in order for Courteney to deal with a private family matter." [People]
• Whoops! Michael Phelps allegedly owes $23,289.16 in back taxes to the State of California. [TMZ]
• "My old agent used to promote me as the male Keira Knightley. (Laughs) I thought: ‘Well, what does that say about me exactly?' Do I pout a lot or something?"-Robert Pattinson [Mirror]
• Melanie Brown, aka Scary Spice, says that she hasn't completely ruled out posing for Playboy: "Playboy are always asking me to pose for them. They've asked me on and off for the past five years, which I'm really flattered by, but it's all about timing and right now it's not the right time. But I definitely haven't ruled it out." [Mirror]
• One of Seth Meyers' ways of winding down on Sundays after a long night at SNL is to call his parents: "I've called them every Sunday since I went away to college," he says, "We started this family football pool when my brother and I were, like, 9 and 7; I guess they felt it was a key thing, to teach us the building blocks of gambling at a young age. Or maybe they figured it would always give us a reason to call home. I lost $10 last week." [NYTimes]
• "Not too long ago. my mum ran into one nun at home, who'd known me, and the nun told her, 'Oh my God, I watched the "She-Wolf" video, and Shakira looks phenomenal in it! I love how she looks, how she does the splits, and how flexible her legs are.' This was an 80-year-old nun. Times are changing."-Shakira [Guardian]
• Jennifer Aniston eats french fries. Is it because she's lonely? Because Angelina Jolie "stole" her husband away? Because she desperately wants a child?! Or maybe, just maybe, she eats fries because—gasp!—she likes them?! [E!]
• John Travolta thanked his neighbors in Ocala, Florida at a recent screening of his new film, Old Dogs, for the support they showed his family after the death of his son, Jett: "We know that we have a community. We know that we have friends. And we know that we are loved. We appreciate it. Jett appreciates it. We love you, Ocala." [People]
• Jay-Z reportedly "refused to be photographed with the Victoria's Secret models for fear of upsetting his wife, Beyoncé. [PageSix]
• Sean "Diddy" Combs spent $3 million on his 40th birthday party, which included a "$30,000 orchid display." [PageSix]
• Mariah Carey has also been a big spender lately, reportedly dropping £750,000 during a recent four-day trip to London. [DailyMail]
• New Moon took in 72.7 million dollars at the box office on Friday, breaking the one-day record set by The Dark Knight in 2008. [Yahoo]
• According to Entertainment Weekly, Lady Gaga's performance at the American Music Awards this evening "appears to be her most far-reaching live effort yet, as though she took a look at that bizarre gyroscope dress-to-piano transition she rather botched on Saturday Night Live and said, "Yeah, but what if we made it even harder for me to get to the keyboard?" [EW]
• Stop the presses: Victoria Beckham took her children out for frozen yogurt! And one of them had a tantrum! But then she gave him a talking to! And then everyone got yogurt! Huzzah! [DailyMail]
• "I don't want to be a sex symbol. I'm a geek. Anyway if I was naked on screen it would not be titillating."-Simon Pegg [Mirror]
• Gayle King, whose previous talk show attempt flopped in the ratings, may get a second chance at a talk show after Oprah Winfrey's show goes off the air in 2011. [PageSix]
• "I think there's some artists that are really focused on the music and the artistry, but I also think being a showman and being an entertainer is more than just being a musician. It's everything-it's something to look at and to listen to."-Adam Lambert [JustJared]
• "He has to be good in bed and the size matters. The inner beauty counts as well, but without a toy it doesn't make it fun. Right now I don't want to have a serious relationship, I want to have fun. I love flirting at the moment. I'm single and I'm enjoying my freedom. But I don't give my phone number out that often. But if I'm dating, I check the boy from the top to the bottom."-Rihanna [ShowbizSpy]
• "The day my Britain's Got Talent audition was shown on TV life changed for ever. I was sitting at home watching the show alone. Then, when I came on the telly, I heard shouting outside my window. My neighbours were outside jumping for joy, screaming and and shouting. We ended up having a bit of a street party."-Susan Boyle [Mirror]
• "I'm in the know because I did courses. I like to be known as me, first of all – that's the problem with being associated with any religion. Different things in Scientology have helped me become even more of an individual, not a blind follower. People are like: "What? I thought they steal your money." Nobody's stealing my money."- Juliette Lewis [Guardian]
• Michael Jackson's famous Moonwalk glove was sold at auction yesterday for $350,000, far above its original estimate of $40,000-$60,000. [Yahoo]
• Amy Winehouse is planning on getting a nose job. "Amy's become totally obsessed with surgery since her boob job," says a source, "She wants her nose made smaller to fit with her small face as she hates the fact her nose is so big and she doesn't like the shape. Amy says she can barely look in the mirror at the moment as she hates it so much. She's booked in for January but is pushing to get it done sooner. Her family are dead-set against it and her brother has gone mad at her saying it will ruin her whole look and she will become unrecognisable. They're trying to talk her out of it but Amy's having none of it." [Mirror]
• "Jake is the kind of guy who can do a spot-on impression of someone you work with that will make you giggle. He plays guitar and has a great voice. Kids and dogs love him. He loves his mom and sister and girlfriend. He's perfect. Too bad he's ugly."-Natalie Portman on Jake Gyllenhaal [JustJared]

[Image via INFDaily.]

• A London man found the album from Amy Winehouse's wedding to Blake Fielder-Civil in a dumpster with some photos torn out and Amy's beehive colored in.

• The man said, "I don't know if Amy threw the album away or her ex (did), but my wife said that's what she would do if we ever divorced, so it could have been the actions of an angry woman... Whoever threw it away obviously never wanted to look at that album again." Amy's rep issued a statement that she wanted it back, and the man returned it. [The Daily Express]
• A 44-year-old woman has accused Dr. Phil or sexually molesting her when she was being treated by him and interning for him in the summer of 1985, according to The National Enquirer. "He profoundly affected the course of my life. The world should know this man is a predator and a bully. He shouldn't be telling Americans how to live their lives, how to improve themselves." said the woman. [The National Enquirer]
• Vanessa Hudgens lawyer says she's considering filing criminal charges against websites that publish nude photos of her taken when she was underage. She took the photos herself and believes her computer may have been hacked. [TMZ]
• Tony Curtis claims in his new book The Making of 'Some Like It Hot' that he and Marilyn Monroe had an affair while filming the movie. They were both married to other people, and he says she was pregnant with his child, but miscarried. [The Daily Mail]
• Despite recent rumors that Katherine Jackson is so convinced foul play was involved in Michael Jackson's death she wants a third autopsy done on his body, a family source says, "there is neither a plan nor a need for another autopsy." [E!]
• The Jackson family has finally decided to bury Michael Jackson at Forest Lawn cemetery six weeks after his death. [WENN]
• In a federal complaint filed in New York, DEA agents say Michael Douglas' son Cameron Douglas has moved "pounds" of crystal meth since 2006. He was investigated for three years and allegedly tens of thousands of dollars of crystal meth. Three of his former clients are cooperating with prosecutors in the hope that the sentence for their narcotics convictions will be reduced. [TMZ]
• Miley Cyrus has been granted a temporary restraining order against Mark McLeod, the man arrested on Tuesday for allegedly attempting to stalk her. [TMZ]
• Wrigley's has "formally terminated" their relationship with Chris Brown. When news of his assault on Rihanna originally came out the company just suspended his campaign. [TMZ]
• Many American Idol staffers are excited to see Paula Abdul go according to a "veteran key Idol staff member" who said, "Can't you hear our celebration? We broke out the good champagne tonight." [Chicago Sun-Times]
• Paula says Simon Cowell already misses her and claims she hasn't heard that Nigel Lythgoe of offered her a guest judge spot on an episode of So You Think You Can Dance. [TMZ]
• Some American Idol sources say there's a good chance Paula Abdul will come back to the show next season. [TMZ]
• Victoria Beckham will guest judge one episode of American Idol next season. [The Daily Mail]
• Tom Sizemore was arrested on domestic violence charges after an altercation with a woman in L.A. last night and is still in custody. [TMZ]
• Polish fire emergency services have to approve evacuation routes before Madonna's Warsaw concert can take place. Some Polish Roman Catholics are protesting the concert, which is scheduled to take place during the feast of the Assumption of the Holly Virgin Mary because they say Madonna is anti-Christian. [UPI]
• A lawyer for Samantha Burke, who is having Jude Law's baby in October, responded to an interview request saying, "At this time, Samantha has decided not to give an exclusive story," which Radar thinks is news. [Radar Online]
• Does the following sentence mean anything to you? "Leonardo DiCaprio went on a mad bender in Ibiza last night - with Jodie Marsh's ex-hubby Matt Peacock." We know how to say, "Where is the library?" and "Did Peter Andre cheat on Jordan?" but are still not fluent in British. [The Sun]
• Kid Rock sent over $1,500 to a pizza boy who was beaten by a gang and needed emergency reconstructive surgery after reading about his story in The Cincinnati Enquirer. [The Daily Express]
• Steven Tyler was dancing onstage and fell off the stage at a show in South Dakota. He was taken to the hospital and treated for minor head, neck, and shoulder injuries. Video at the link. [TMZ]
• Kate Gosselin will be on Today on Monday for her first interview since she and Jon Gosselin announced that they're divorcing. [Associated Press]
• On August 15 Alyssa Milano will marry talent agent David Bugliari at a private home in New Jersey. [Radar Online]
• Milla Jovovich and director Paul Anderson will marry on August 22. "It's going to be small," she said, "It's just going to be family and close friends. And it's at our home and it's going to be kind of like Havana/Cuban, like very California-Spanish feeling. It's going to be nice." [People]
• The Jay Leno Show will premiere on September 14 with musical guests Jay-Z, Rihanna, and Kanye West. [Variety]
• Britney Spears will appear at the Teen Choice Awards on Monday night. [BritneySpears.com]
• Kristen Wiig bought a Manhattan co-op from Mad Men and Sopranos director Alan Taylor. [N.Y. Observer]
• In the video at the link RHOA's NeNe Leakes says, "I TiVo a lot of things I'm on. I'm just the bomb," and discusses her love for Anderson Cooper and Maxwell. [Entertainment Weekly]
• In Paul Giamatti's new film Cold Souls he plays "an angst-ridden actor who is also Paul Giamatti and who literally has his soul surgically removed to help him cope with the stress of his career and life." He says of playing a fictional version of himself, "The only time it really struck me as very weird was when someone said my whole name during a scene, and I'd go, 'We should cut and start again because there's obviously a mistake there.' Then I'd remember I was actually playing me." [Reuters]
• Molly Ringwald says of her new twins Roman Stylianos and Adele Georgiana, "You get up with one of the babies and feed and change that one and get the baby back to sleep, and the other wakes up, and then you feed and change that one. It is exhausting, but it's wonderful," [People]
• "My friends love coming over [to my house], because they get fed," says Jennifer Aniston. "It's the best restaurant in town." Her personal chef adds, "Jen's a homebody. It's been so much fun to create a place where everybody feels comfortable, like one big family." [People]
• Sienna Miller says she "probably looked awful" for dating married father of four Balthazar Getty. "I probably seem like not a particularly nice person, not a girl's girl," she said. "I do think sometimes people get morally superior without understanding situations and the situation I got into was not ideal, but it happened and if I could go back and be more responsible, I would." [Us]

• Rihanna has a new song, with guest vocals by Lady GaGa, titled Silly Boy. Kanye West posted it online, and the lyrics are:

"I said I'm not coming back. You fooled me once but you can't have that ego turning… Cause you had a good girl, good girl, girl. That's a keeper. You had a good girl, good girl but didn't know how to treat her… So silly boy get out my face. Why do you like the way regrets taste?" Maybe I'm old, but the vocals sound like they were performed by a GPS unit on a dashboard. [The Sun]

• Wow. Eminem is flying 200 laid-off Toledo auto workers to L.A. to be on Jimmy Kimmel Live May 15. The idea is to "put a face on" the plight of American auto workers. [Toledo Free Press]
• Tourism peeps in St. Lucia are still glad Amy Winehouse performed, even though her set at the St. Lucia Jazz Festival was cut short because of rain. Uh, didn't she walk off the stage? [Yahoo News via AP]
• Madonna is so over Yankee Alex Rodriguez, she took her kids to a Mets game. Burn! [Page Six]
• Although Brooke Shields is calling Kiefer Sutherland a "gentleman," this report notes that one of his former co-stars claims he would "go to the bar immediately after he'd finish working. He'd sit there for hours, putting them back. When it was time to go home, he'd be cantankerous and ornery. He was not a pleasant drunk." Now he faces a $1,000 fine and a year in jail in L.A. for violating his DUI probation. [Gatecrasher]
• Heidi Klum and Seal renewed their wedding vows in a "white trash" wedding, and reporter Rosemary Black writes, "Why is it still PC to make fun of a huge segment of the Caucasian population that is frequently low income and under-educated?" [NY Daily News]
• Will Kara DioGuardi return for another season of American Idol? Seems like she doesn't even know: "I hope I'm here for another season," she says, "but I haven't been asked yet." [Gatecrasher]
• After his stint on Saturday Night Live, Justin Timberlake had dinner with girlfriend Jessica Biel and father Randy Timberlake, who "seemed really proud of him." Aww. [Page Six]
• A lady who works at a St. Louis beauty salon found the Twilight sequel script in the trash outside of a hotel. She returned the New Moon pages to the studio and has been invited to the premiere. [Breitbart]
• The National Enquirer says that Kevin Federline wants more cash from Britney: He currently gets about $40,000 a month but "can't afford the rent, his help, the food and the booze it takes to keep up (his home)." According to a source. [MSNBC]
• Speaking of Britney, Sam Lutfi may have to pay her legal fees from the courtroom battle over the restraining order; that's about $123,142. Not to mention the $72,292 her lawyers are going to try and squeeze out of Adnan Ghalib. [People]
• How will the show Jon & Kate Plus 8 — the fifth season of which premieres in two weeks — deal with the "scandal" its star, Jon Gosselin is involved in? [MSNBC]
• Oh, no. No no no no. Jennifer Aniston wants to be on Mad Men. "I like Mad Men," says Jennifer. "I would love to be in that, it's great. I love the era. I would love it if they offered me a role." But, but, that's part of the charm! That there are no "stars," except for the ones the show created! Sniff. Sob. [Daily Express]
• These drunk pix allegedly caused the marriage of Katie "Jordan" Price and Peter Andre to disintegrate. The "mystery man" makes my gaydar ping, though. [The Sun]
• On Celebrity Apprentice, Joan Rivers sniped that Annie Duke was "worse than Hitler; Hitler never had PMS." Now Rivers says: "It's just an expression. But I stand behind it." [CNN]
• This paper says Joan Rivers is "forever the comeback kid." [NY Daily News]
• In this video interview from August, Farrah Fawcett talks about her terminal cancer: "It's much easier to go through something and deal with it without being under a microscope. It was stressful. I was terrified of getting the chemo. It's not pleasant. And the radiation is not pleasant. It becomes your life. People call, 'How are you?' 'How do you feel?' 'We're praying for you.' 'Do you still have your hair?' 'What do you feel like?' When every single call is that kind of call… it's all you talk about. It's all-consuming. Then, your quality of life is never the same." [LA Times]
• In this video, Farrah Fawcett's friend Alana Stewart talks about the "cutting edge" treatment FF received in Germany. [ET]
• Ryan O'Neal recalls the moment he knew Farrah Fawcett was really really sick; they were walking on the beach: "We used to take that walk all the time to the rocks and back. And halfway there she stopped and said, 'Can we go back?' And Red and I looked at each other and we knew…" Also, Farrah doesn't realize son Redmond visits the house in shackles, since he is currently serving a jail sentence. "When you go in to her," Ryan tells Redmond, "don't rattle your chains." Ryan told Today's Meredith Vieira, "She doesn't know... she just holds him." [People]
• The Gossip Girl spinoff, possibly now called Lily and not Valley Girls, appears to be BACK ON. [NY Mag]
• Heidi Montag Pratt has a new video, which involves writhing in a bikini. Also breaking: The sky is blue. [Perez]
• In this interview with Depeche Mode, Martin Gore talks about giving up drinking and Andy Fletcher comments on the band's 30th year of being together: "I think at first when we found out it was going to be 30 years, I think it was, 'Oh my God, how embarrassing. We're really old!' But I think now we've really got our heads around it, and I think it's something to be actually proud of." [CNN]
• Yoko Ono has unveiled a John Lennon exhibit at New York City's Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Annex. Included is a billboard featuring Lennon's blood-splattered glasses that marked the 30th anniversary of his death. Ono says: "I thought I might be criticized for it.. But it's very important now for people to understand what violence is about." [USA Today]
• Congrats to SNL star Maya Rudolph, who is expecting baby number 2. [People]
• Ooh, Rachel Weisz is in talks to play one of my faves, Hedy Lamarr, in a flick called Face Value. Lamarr was not only a screen siren but an accomplished scientist; she created a method of changing frequencies which is the key to modern wireless communication — which will be the subject of the film. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Dermot Mulroney will make his directorial debut, Keep It Together, a comedy/drama about "love and divorce." Christopher Walken and Blythe Danner in negotiations to join the cast! [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Scott Speedman is in Atom Egoyan's film Adoration as a tow truck driver: "The guy teaching me didn't realize I was an actor doing it for a movie. He yelled at me up and down. I didn't use a tow double, even though I'm sure they had one at the ready." [USA Today]
• Every anniversary, Tori Spelling's husband slips a new diamond ring on her finger and this year it is a white diamond and a yellow diamond and blah blah blah being rich is awesome. [People]
• Trudie Styler, who co-founded the Rainforest Foundation, flew her hairstylist from New York to Washington, DC, last weekend on a private jet to do her hair and makeup for the White House Correspondents' Dinner. [Page Six]
• Mark Landon, eldest son of Michael Landon, has died at age 60. [Yahoo News via AP]
• The Simpsons stamp could become the nation's most popular stamp, knocking Elvis out of the top spot! [NY Post]
• Blind item! "Which buxom B-list pinup only helps out charities that ply her with cocaine?" [Gatecrasher]
• "How would you like being a young actor walking into a casting agent and the first thing they say is, 'Leave!' " — Liev Schreiber on NPR on the way people used to mispronounce his name. [Page Six]
• "As a mother, you have to read your kids a lot of these books, so it's fun to get involved in the process. I've had such a good time with this. This book is about becoming self aware and that realization in childhood. The title is my nickname, and I hated my nickname when I was seven years old. At that age, I tried to get rid of my freckles and I hated dodgeball - I still hate dodgeball." — Julianne Moore, at a reading of her second children's book, Freckleface Strawberry and the Dodgeball Bully. [WWD]
• "When David and I got to the first shoot we were both standing in our bathrobes, looking at each other and saying, 'Okay, who's going to drop their dressing gown first?' It can be a little intimidating standing half-naked in a studio full of strangers, so it's good to have the support of each other, reassuring and encouraging one another. David is always incredibly supportive of everything I do. I never used to go to the gym before working with Armani – but if you're going to be photographed in your bra and knickers you want to look as good as you can… I still work out every day. I drop the kids at school, and from the school I go to the gym and do the miles on the treadmill. I have worked hard, and if you are going to agree to be photographed in underwear you have to put the hours in, so when you turn up on the day and take off your robe you feel confident that you can do the job. As a 35-year-old mother of three, I'm looking okay." — Victoria Beckham. [The Sun]

• Chris Brown's lawyers are arguing that Rihanna shouldn't have to testify in court because her name and other information was leaked. They say she shouldn't be forced to compromise her privacy any further. [TMZ]

• A friend of Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer says, "They're definitely broken up, but it was completely amicable. I know everyone is looking for the big juicy fight, but there was none." That's never stopped the tabloids before! [E!]
• California Attorney General Jerry Brown says three people were part of the conspiracy to feed Anna Nicole Smith's addiction, but Howard K. Stern was the "principal enabler." He says Stern was "the one that brought the drugs in many cases to Anna Nicole Smith." He added, "this was done knowingly and this was done with tragic consequences." [People]
• A source claims that Britney Spears is not dating Jason Trawick. "They are absolutely, 100 percent not dating," says the source. "He is her agent, and that is it." [Us]
• In this video Hugh Jackman speaks Japanese and flails about on a Japanese game show. Then a dude grabs his crotch. [ONTD]
• Nadya Suleman hasn't moved into her new house yet, but it's already been TP'd. [TMZ]
• Kylie Minougue is bringing her Spanish model boyfriend Andres Velencoso home to Australia to meet her parents. [News.com.au]
• Leighton Meester is the frontrunner to star in Beastly, a modern retelling of Beauty and the Beast. [E!]
• Garry Marshall contacted Robin Williams' people following his aortic valve replacement surgery earlier this month. He says of Williams' condition, "I hear very good reports." [People]
• In this video Larry Flynt makes the bold claim that he's slept with more women than Hugh Hefner. [TMZ]
• Elizabeth Taylor's granddaughter Naomi Wilding and her husband are expecting a baby, which will be Taylor's fifth great-grandchild. Taylor's friend says the news has given her a new purpose. "To Elizabeth life is all about friends and family and she's terribly excited about meeting the new baby due fairly soon," he says. [The Daily Express]
• Pete Doherty almost quit his band Babyshambles because a fan gave him a wedgie while he was crowd surfing. Pete says: "I hid in the tour bus crying. When they (my bandmates) found me I was crying my eyes out, going, 'The band's not working out. We should split up.' Nobody believed what was wrong, and eventually I snapped, 'All right, I got a wedgie, OK?'" [The Daily Express]
• The New York Times has posted pictures of things Judd Apatow has in his office. The writer was shocked to not see "a single bong, beer keg or passed-out partygoer." [NY Times]
• Here's the trailer for Jennifer Aniston's new movie Management. It starts with her telling a guy he can touch her butt and goes downhill from there. [Video Gum]
• Penelope Cruz is in talks to star in Venuto al Mondo, which is directed by Sergio Castellitto, the Italian director who gave her her first break in Don't Move. [Variety]
• Chris Cornell is responding to Trent Reznor insulting him on Twitter, writing back, "What do you think Jesus would twitter. ‘Let he who is without sin cast the first stone' or ‘Has anyone seen Judas? He was here a minute ago.' " [Rolling Stone]
• Jessica Simpson is speaking out about Rihanna and Chris Brown. She said at a concert in Phoenix last night: "No matter what you go through in life, no matter what abuse you go through, take your heart and run so far away." [E!]
• Tom Jones said his wife of 52 years told him she's OK with women throwing their panties at him "as long as you come home to me, as long as you don't go running off with somebody." [Yahoo]
• Marley Shelton, who stars on the CBS series Eleventh Hour is expecting her first child with her husband. [People]
• Marko Jaric, the basketball star who just married supermodel Adriana Lima, is under investigation for sexually assaulting a woman in Philadelphia. [TMZ]
• In this video Ricky Gervais makes fun of celebrities who say they have depression or who promote themselves by talking about their addictions. [The Independent]
• Katherine Heigl's character Dr. Izzie Stevens revealed she's dying of cancer on last night's Grey's Anatomy. One of her interns on the show estimated she has a 5% survival rate, and coincidentally Heigl has a 5% chance of staying on the show. [Us]
• Jaime Kennedy has confirmed that he's dating Jennifer Love Hewitt. [RyanSeacrest.com]
• The Pixies will play their first live performance in four years at the Isle of Wight music festival this summer. [Reuters]
• Korn bassist Fieldy has released a book, Got the Life: My Journey of Addiction, Faith, Recovery and Korn which includes letters he wrote to each band member apologizing for his past bad behavior. [Yahoo]
• Hundreds of fans showed up to see Shane MacGowan of the Pogues play at a bar in Scotland, but the bar said the show was cancelled at the last minute. But MacGowan's reps say he was never booked to play there in the first place. [The Daily Express]
• Olympic gold medalist Shawn Johnson says of being on Dancing With the Stars, "It's scary. The waltz was a challenge because of having to be romantic and stuff but now the salsa is even harder. I've never shaken my hips before. It's hard to let myself go." [People]
• Matthew Broderick is preparing to do the Broadway play The Philanthropist and says he's glad it's only running until July. "I used to do long runs, but after six months it's a struggle. You're repeating yourself... you go on autopilot and nobody pays attention to what they're saying anymore. You screw up, then everybody wakes up for the next two weeks," says Broderick. "A Broadway show's exhausting in its relentlessness. No more normal dinner hour. You disappear from friends. I'm starting to get set for it." [The Daily Express]
• Roseanne Barr is blogging about Chris Brown and Rihanna. She says: "Rihanna is violent too and that is one of the reasons why she is back with chris brown. She thinks she has him right where she wants him now. His career is over, and he is working her to help him get it back. She thinks that since he needs her and has shown some contrition, that she can call the shots now. Violent people are control freaks, and she thinks she is in control right now. Violent couples also have passionate make up sex, and that keeps a lot of battered and beaten women hooked ..." [Roseanne World]
• Carol Burnett is a wedding crasher! Friday Night Lights actor Zach Gilford is co-starring with her in a new movie. He says: "Carol Burnett's just so goofy and funny, telling these anecdotes about crashing weddings! Because no one would question her, they'd be like, "Oh, that's Carol Burnett! That's so exciting that Carol Burnett is here." Then they'd get a free drink, and take pictures. Then just leave. She did it for year or something, she and her friend, a few years back. She'd be like, "Oh, you know, I'm a friend of a distant aunt on the husband's side." Hilarious. It got to the point where a photographer friend of hers would come and take pictures of the wedding just to make it seem more official. She's just such a goof who loves to do things because it's fun and ridiculous." [Jossip]

• Is Ashley Olsen getting married? The National Enquirer thinks so. It'll happen on the French Riviera next summer; she wants Karl Lagerfeld to make the dress and Annie Leibovitz to take the pix. Oh, the hubs-to-be is boyfriend Justin Bartha. [Daily Express]
• Ryan Reynolds ran the NYC marathon! His time? 3 hours and 50 minutes, faster than he anticipated. "It was an incredible experience," he says. He was asked how he'd celebrate and claimed: "I'll probably celebrate by eating my own body weight in raw dough." [People]
• Heh, things were "frosty" between Tina Fey and John McCain on Saturday Night Live. [MSNBC]
• A "crazed" Madonna fan stormed on to the set of Guy Ritchie's new movie and threatened to kill him. The teenager had a knife and was shouting, "I love Madonna." He was arrested, though if he were cast in Guy Ritchie's movie, that would be believable. [Mirror]
• Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's kids went trick-or-treating in Malibu on Friday. Maddox was a Marine; Zahara was a Jolly Green Giant; Shiloh was a sheriff. Need pix!!! [Star Magazine]

• Ooh, check out Angelina's eyes on the cover of British Harper's Bazaar. [ONTD]
• The head of rap label Def Jam died Saturday: Shakir Stewart, who succeeded Jay-Z as VP in June, committed suicide. [Reuters]
• Daniel Craig talks about his arm: "I tore my shoulder when we were making Casino Royale and it started to ache during Quantum Of Solace. I went to see a surgeon and had reconstructive surgery - I had six pins put in. So now I can't really move my arm and it's a little painful, but I'm having physio every day, and it's healing well." [Daily Mail]
• Lindsay Lohan will have her deposition videotaped in Samantha Ronson's ongoing lawsuit against her former attorney. She has a lot of conditions, though, and wants the transcripts to be destroyed when the case is over. [E!]
• Lindsay was supposed to host the World Music Awards in Monaco next weekend, but she's been replaced by, um, Denise Richards. Downgrade! [Mirror]
• Simon Cowell and girlfriend Terri Seymour: Dunzo. She ended it after 6 years. Want to guess who doesn't believe in marriage? [Newser.com]
• After Terri broke up with him, Simon allegedly said "Thank God! " [Daily Mail]
• Terri wanted kids, Simon did not. [Mirror]
• Simon also says: "You know, the most incredible thing I’ve seen on TV for absolutely ages was the Sarah Palin/Joe Biden debate. I watched it for an hour and there wasn’t one second I wasn’t completely riveted. I would love to bring the concept of the American presidential debate to Britain. I know I could engage the audience, get people involved." [Daily Mail]
• Peaches Geldof walked out of a London store with an item of clothing draped over her arm and didn't pay for it. A shopkeeper ran out and confronted Peaches, who said it was an accident. Apparently this is the fourth time she's walked out of a store without paying for clothes, although it seems like she always has a good excuse. [Mirror]
• Joaquin Phoenix, who is retiring from acting, might be back on drugs: He was "out of it" at a tribute to Paul Newman last week in San Francisco. Grief-stricken, maybe? [Page Six]
• Peaches' husband's band has a new single, "She Loves Everybody," about a controlling, insecure girl who craves affection. [Mirror]
• Amy Winehouse has gained weight and is trying to stop smoking. She's still hooked on sugar, however. [Mirror]
• Oh, wait, Amy Winehouse is back in the hospital. It seems to be related to the chest infection she had last week. Or her emphysema. [People]
• A New Zealand TV journalist is being investigated and might lose her job after a "trainwreck" interview with Pink; it seems the woman's sister used to be Pink's assistant and the reporter ambushed the pop star with questions about why she'd fired her sister. [News.com.au]
• More weird New Zealand news: A pizza chain used a Halloween ad which featured skeletal animations of the Queen Mother, Sir Edmund Hillary and Heath Ledger dancing on gravestones. The company has apologized. [Times of London]
• In case you couldn't already guess, Tyra is endorsing Barack Obama. [Yahoo News]
• Usher is taking a year off from music to travel the world and find "inspiration." Good luck! [Mirror]
• Jessica Simpson's BFF, stylist Ken Paves, had his face bloodied during a paparazzi crush outside of an L.A. restaurant. There were so many cameras swarming that some guy accidentally hit Ken near his eye with a camera. Jess and Ken made it to the car, and went directly to the hospital. [TMZ]
• Bruno, aka Sacha Baron Cohen, crashed a rally banning gay marriage in California. [Yahoo New]
• There was a memorial for Jennifer Hudson's family members, including nephew Julian King, on Sunday. His second-grade teacher read from journals written by his classmates. [AP]
• Melanie "Scary Spice" Brown is renewing her vows in Egypt, but Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham doesn't plan to attend. Snubby spice? [The Sun]
• It appears to be really and truly on between Criss Angel and Holly Madison. If you have a strong stomach, gaze upon this image of them kissing. [TMZ]
• Mindy McCready is out of jail. [E!]
• Here's a video in which Senator John McCain meets Anna Nicole Smith, one of her "biggest fans." [Politico]
• Brad Pitt and Leonardo DiCaprio have Oscar buzz for The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and Revolutionary Road, but Oscar voters tend to like it when actors play real people. [Reuters]
• Nigella Lawson once made her kids give their Christmas gifts to charity. "I wanted them to think about how lucky they are," she explains. Hmm, could work, could make them harbor resentment. [The Sun]
• Bon Jovi's being sued for £250,000 after one of the rock group's entourage allegedly deliberately ran over a woman with a golf cart at a concert. [Telegraph]
• Viggo Mortensen is in a film adaptation of a play about about an ordinary man in 1930s Germany being slowly co-opted by the Nazis. He says the story has relevance today; "You don't need to be some kind of bookworm or political activist; little and big decisions that individuals make in society on a daily basis are what any country is." [LA Times]
• LL Cool J has been inducted into the Long Island, NY Music Hall Of Fame. Didn't know there was such a thing, but, congrats? [UPI]
• Natalie Portman and Rashida Jones have made a very important election-related video you simply must watch. [Funny Or Die]
• Is Sienna Miller's relationship with Balthazar Getty fizzling out? [Mirror, Daily Mail]
• In an op-ed about paparazzi and papers vs. celebrities — especially Sienna Miller, who's gone to court seeking damages for a "campaign of harassment" by photographers, this writer states: "We have no right to invade people's privacy, but we do have a time honoured journalistic tradition of doing so that I would hate to see disappear." [Independent]
• Kylie Minogue would love to be an actress: "I’d love to do a comedy." [The Sun]
• It's weird to think about Dakota Fanning as 14-year-old sophomore and varsity cheerleader in real life, but that is what she is. [USA Today]
• Elle UK asked Kelly Osbourne to be part of a photography portfolio celebrating friendship and love; she decided to do it with her boyfriend. "My boyfriend is my best friend," she says. "We always go shopping together, we like going to music festivals and we chat on the phone a thousand times a day." [Elle UK]
• Haven't heard about these two in a while, but Nelly says he and Ashanti are "serious." They've been on and off since 2003. [People]
• Here's a piece about how stars change shape for films. A former Royal Marine who has worked on the last five James Bond films, has also been training with Jake Gyllenhaal for Prince Of Persia. He says: "Most actors are athletes nowadays. Their fitness is a big factor in whether they get cast or not. Jake has to look like a warrior capable of sword-fighting, not like he's been hitting the gym. He is working out twice, sometimes three times a day, six days a week, for three to four months on top of stunt rehearsals before filming begins." Ready to go back to bed? [Times of London]
• Did Paris Hilton steal Benji Madden from Sophie Monk? This was 8 months ago, if you care. [News.com.au]
• Johnny Carson's former lawyer is calling the Tonight Show host a sad, depressed man who cheated on his wives and was tormented by his mother. Tears of a clown? [Page Six]
• Whoa: Mickey Rourke once planned to kill a man and then commit suicide, because the guy had raped a woman he knew. [The Sun]
• The Pet Shop Boys will be presented with an outstanding contribution to music award at next year's Brit Awards, which means Simon Cowell won't get it. What have I, what have I, what have I done to deserve this? [BBC News, Mirror]
• The Communist Party of St. Petersburg must not have much to do, because they're pissed at "Bond girl" Olga Kurylenko for "sleeping with the West." [UPI]
• Jean-Claude Van Damme canceled promotional appearances for a film because one of his dogs is in a coma. Tragic! [Page Six]
• "Kate Winslet is always naked, sitting on a toilet, running buck-naked. She's free. I want to be the kind of actress who can really be comfortable with my body like that" — Halle Berry in Elle. [Page Six]
• "I've kept in touch with William — he's really good looking. But I prefer Harry, he's more my type." — Paris Hilton on the Princes. [Mirrror]
• "I need you to make the best sub you have ever made because it's for Snoop Dogg," A "handler" to a Subway employee in Australia. [News.com.au]
• "I've always been a slow starter. My first date was with a girl called Cessi. We had a beautiful relationship over the phone all summer and then when we met I couldn't look her in the eye." — Leonardo DiCaprio. [Guardian]
• "I don't know if seniors like me at all. I think they're a little sick of me. I think they say, 'Get off! We just want to rest.' I thought I was wonderful. Then I saw a replay. I couldn't believe I was just one, two, three, turn. I didn't have the spunk I thought I had." — Cloris Leachman, on her final Dancing With The Stars performance. [Newsweek]
• "Owen Wilson is so divine in this film. I've never seen him play a part like this. He was a man; he was a husband; he was a father. And I feel like, how brave of him, to walk through the year that he walked through." — Jennifer Aniston on her Marley And Me costar. [LA Times]
• "It's a different part of my life. I try and look back on it with fondness but when I'm reminded of it I'm really embarrassed… Honestly, I really hoped my daughter wouldn't see it, otherwise she'd never listen to a thing I say again. I thought I was the coolest guy in the world but really I was just a jackass." — Mark Wahlberg on his "Marky Mark" music career. [Telegraph]
• "If someone starts talking to me negatively about something they've never actually studied that actual text of, I don't really admire them very much because it shows they don't have much integrity, so I just kind of ignore them. I'm not going to listen to gossip and hearsay about something that's affected my life so tremendously in such a tremendously positive way. It's a new religion. Historically every new religion has been [dismissed]. People were hanged, fed to the lions for their beliefs so this is just a modern day evolution of what happens when something new comes into our culture. It is not fully understood yet. I've seen drug addicts completely rehabilitated, I've seen the illiterate become literate, I've seen people that were so depressed and hopeless completely rehabilitate their goals in life, become happier, find partners. It's beautiful." — Jenna Elfman on Scientology. [Perez Hilton]
• "Every other guy I've been out with has used me for money or sex — but in most cases they just want fame. It made it hard to trust people… I loved this guy for three years but he betrayed me. Rick’s a scumbag and I hate him. It was just the most horrible thing that’s ever happened to me. So humiliating and embarrassing. But at the end of the day, I didn’t do anything wrong. I’ve found someone who loves me for me. Benji’s my best friend and I know he’d never hurt me." — Paris Hilton. [News Of The World]
• "To go on about acting as art is ridiculous. You don’t have to be gifted just to hit a mark and a line. As far as I’m concerned, that’s 90 per cent of the job. Anyone who finds acting difficult just shouldn’t be doing it." — Kurt Russell. [Daily Express]
• "I'm thinking, 'If this guy (Jesus) can die for mankind, the least I can do is quit smoking. I really felt an epiphany was happening. I even thought I saw a light around me. Four hours later, I bought a packet of Marlboro Reds. Who am I kidding? I need a cigarette." — Gerard Butler, on his religious experience at the Church of the Holy Sepulcher in Jerusalem, Israel. [ONTD]
• "I shaved my back just in case. I went fully bare, like a two year old. I was ready. I didn't want to be too real for the world. I don't think the world is too ready for a hairy back in a love scene. Has there ever been a sex scene with Robin Williams? People don't want to see that. That would border on bestiality." — Seth Rogen, on preparing himself for Zack And Miri Make A Porno. [Daily Express]

OK!
"How I Got My Body Back!" A Britney exclusive. With new photos. How to lose 12 pounds in 30 days. There are "exclusive" shots of Brit on a treadmill and sitting on a horse. Here's how to lose weight: Don't eat sugar, including fruit, and only eat 1200 calories a day. Have grilled chicken breast with raw organic broccoli for lunch.
Grade: F- (nails on a chalkboard)

Life & Style
"Living Separate Lives." Actually, the whole story is on the cover: "Six days together, 15 days apart, Tom's in LA, Katie's in New York. Tense and tired, they're desperate to make it work!" Also inside: Rare photographs of Scarlett Johansson kissing fiancé Ryan Reynolds! (Fig 1.) Next: Britney has been sober for 201 days, can you believe it? It was January 3 when she was taken to the hospital in tears. How things have changed! Moving on: Joel Madden invited Mary-Kate Olsen back to his tour bus to show her pictures of Harlow. Then Joel told Nicole Richie about it on the phone and she freaked out. Lastly: A random quote from Calum Best re: Lindsay Lohan: "I hope I didn't turn her gay."
Grade: D (microphone feedback)


Us
"Tears, Joy & Scandal." Intern Margaret says that the info about Shawn Johnson and Nastia Liukin in this mag is only the "untold story" if you haven't been watching the Olympics on NBC. Plus! This story was written before the gymnastics ended (last night) so it's obviously not the full story. Moving on: Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer: "The Split Gets Nasty." Intern Margaret thinks Jennifer Aniston wrote this article. A "confidant" says: "This is not high school, but for some reason, John seems to think the whole world should know who ended the relationship." Another source says Jen dumped John because she thought he was tipping off the paparazzi to their location. Apparently things weren't totally dunzo until John made that long-ass video statement to the press. Now, a source says, "Consider the door slammed. Jennifer needs some time to herself. When she's ready, she needs to find a mature man, ready for a grown-up relationship." Noted. Us also points out that OK! repeatedly misled readers about Jen's love life (Fig. 2). Did you know that Lindsay Lohan is obsessed with Facebook? Next! Sharon Stone is dating a man half her age: She is 50, he is 25. Joel Madden was seen hanging out with Mary-Kate Olsen, whom he finds "amusing." Lastly: Verne Troyer is getting his own reality show. "It's about being a dwarf in Hollywood," he says. Imagine that!
Grade: D+ (dentist drill)


In Touch
"Brad Storms Out." Intern Margaret and I were sure that we had seen this cover before, but we could not find it. (We did find "Brad Walks Away", also on In Touch.) This time, they're fighting because Angelina's nerves are shattered and she might have post-partum depression. Brad goes out drinking and she yells at him when he comes home late smelling like smoke. She made him sleep in another bedroom. But! The day after their "fight" they were seen at a restaurant in the South of France holding hands through dinner and being very affectionate. So. Next: The Jennifer Aniston post-breakup status: "She wasn't hurt at all. She feels fine." Also, "Mohawks run in the family" for Joel and Harlow Madden (Fig. 3). Britney went to see Robin Thicke at the House of Blues in Hollywood and Justin was there with Jessica Biel! Britney wanted to get his attention but Justin never turned around, so they left without ever seeing each other, sigh. Okay, so The Hills castmates are fighting over money. Lauren Conrad gets $75,000 per episode, which comes to $1.4 million for the entire season, but she says, "I couldn't even tell you how much my friends make." Lastly: Jamie Lynn Spears has either "walked out" of her relationship with Casey Aldridge or just gone to her mom's house to visit.
Grade: C- (shrieking children)


Star
"Jen Turns To Brad." See, Jen was upset about her breakup with John Mayer, so she called Brad's mom, with whom she has maintained a friendship. Brad's mom was at Brad and Angie's chateau in France. Brad happened to walk into the room and his mom handed him the phone, so he ended up comforting Jen in her time of need. A source says,"He told her that John's probably not the right guy for her, he suggested that she stop trying so hard to meet someone before she turns 40. He told her there is no deadline, that she is a beautiful, wonderful person and the right guy is out there." At the end of the call, Brad said, "Of course we're still friends, call if you need me." Angelina was happy Brad was there for Jen and she's okay with them being friends. Hahaha! Moving on: Jamie Lynn, Runaway Bride! After hearing that Casey was cheating on her, JLS has decided to move to L.A. with baby Maddie. Britney's encouraging it! One of Casey's friends told the mag: "Casey's the kind of guy who will come to your party, drink all your beer, hit on your girlfriend and bounce." Eric "Dr. McSteamy" Dane and Rebecca Gayheart: Marriage on the rocks! She's checked into Chateau Marmont. Blind item! "Which actress is mulling over getting a nose job after another minor surgery went so well? Sources say she plans to get her schnoz fixed and is already shopping for docs in NYC." Next: Ashlee Simpson-Wentz went to the doctor and found out she's gained more weight than is considered healthy. She freaked out and bought six pairs of size zero jeans as weight-loss motivation. She's pregnant, btw. Here's a great caption on a picture of Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson: "Lindsay fell for Sam's protective nature, telling friends, 'She's the father I never had.'" Brad and Angelina sent blushing brides Ellen and Portia a present and an arrangement of white orchids and roses in a crystal vase — with one yellow rose, symbolizing friendship. Close friend Ryan Seacrest missed the ceremony but made the reception. Lastly, and random: While Ryan Cabrera was with Ashlee Simpson, he was banging Audrina Patridge! He was cheating on both of them. It was all over by the summer of 2006.
Grade: C (creaky door)


Fig. 1

Fig. 2

Fig. 3

In Touch magazine has offered some invaluable advice in their cover story about weight loss. With five carefully edited photos of Jen Aniston on the first spread of "Thin for the holidays" it's tough to pay attention to the 70-odd word story, but if you plow through the text you'll find this gem:

Jen knows she'll splurge during the holidays so she adds extra workouts before and after a cheat day to make up for the additional calories.

Wow! We never thought of that. Work out more when you eat more. Genius.