Jezebel: Animals

Knut The Polar Bear Falls Victim to Child Star Syndrome

Intern Margaret — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 13:20:00 EST

Two years ago the adorable polar bear cub Knut was an international star, photographed by Annie Leibovitz and featured on the cover of Vanity Fair with Leonardo DiCaprio. Today Good Morning America took a look at where the former child star is now, and found that the adult Knut weighs in at 500 lbs, is surly, disheveled, and just looking to find a mate. Which is why the Berlin Zoo is trying to sell him. Clip above.

Sweet Dreams

hortense — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 17:30:00 EST

Sweet dreams to all of you! And remember: your editors will be back in full force tomorrow after a well-earned holiday break. Thanks for another lovely weekend!

Image via Hemmy.net.

Let's End This Sunday With A Smile

hortense — Sun, 23 Nov 2008 17:30:00 EST

Thank you for another lovely weekend, and have a safe and happy holiday!

Image via CuteAnimals.org

Goodnight, And Have A Pleasant Tomorrow

hortense — Sun, 16 Nov 2008 17:30:00 EST

And once again, we come to the end of our Saturday through Sunday time together. Thank you for another lovely weekend!

Image via Cute Overload.

The Financial Times profiles Ingrid Newkirk, ...

Intern Margaret — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 14:40:00 EST

The Financial Times profiles Ingrid Newkirk, 59, co-founder and president of PETA, which catalogs her controversial animal rights activism through the years. PETA protests have led to the introduction of the veggie burger at Burger King, McDonald's auditing its slaughterhouses, and Mercedes-Benz offering a pleather upholstery option. Newkirk is best known, however, for organizing provocative anti-fur demonstrations against the fashion industry, including sneaking into the Four Seasons to serve Anna Wintour a dead raccoon. Fur makes up only a small fraction of the animal products we consume, but Newkirk explains that she has targeted the fashion industry because it's high-profile and can demonstrate her ability to go after other industries she believes violate animal rights. "Businesses are terrified," she says. "They have no idea what I'm going to do next." [The Financial Times]

Saturday Night: Time To Rock

hortense — Sat, 08 Nov 2008 17:30:00 EST

I hope you rock out tonight, as well: SNL is a re-run, so sadly, there will be no live thread. Have a lovely evening, and I'll see you all in the morning.

Image via Cute Overload.

Why The White House Needs A Greyhound

hortense — Sat, 08 Nov 2008 11:50:00 EST

Though President-Elect Obama's first press conference yesterday was meant to showcase his plans on how to ease the economy out of its current crisis, the question that garnered the most attention, and the question that has been flying all over the press in every country in the world, is this: What kind of dog are the Obamas going to get? We had some suggestions last week, with Goldendoodles, Bichon Frises and Poodles leading the hypoallergenic way, and though it seems likely that the girls will choose one of these adorable breeds, I'd like to make the case for another hypoallergenic, quiet, loyal, loving breed: the greyhound.

Greyhounds have a long and noble history; before greyhound racing became what they were best known for, greyhounds were actually protected by law during the Middle Ages, were the only dogs mentioned in the Bible, and were mentioned by Chaucer and Shakespeare, among others. America's favorite animated family, The Simpsons, adopted their greyhound, Santa's Little Helper, at the very start of the beloved series, and J.K. Rowling adopted a grey last year, which means, of course, that greyhounds are Gryffindor approved.

The Obamas are looking for two things: a rescue dog and a hypoallergenic dog. A greyhound fits both of these criteria. Greyhounds are also notoriously lazy, preferring to spend their days curled up in a ball, fast asleep. They're incredibly gentle, they don't shed, they very rarely bark, and they don't secrete the same oil as other dogs, which means they don't give off that "doggy smell" that other breeds seem to.

Even if the Obamas decide to go with a poodle or a doodle (which they will, most likely), greyhounds have already won one victory this week: voters in the State of Massachusetts voted to ban greyhound racing, a move that will close down the tracks that my retired racer used to run on. Thousands of dogs will now be placed in rescue shelters to await real homes. With 5,000-8,500 greyhounds being killed each year simply because they can't race anymore, the need for good homes and greyhound rescue awareness is higher than ever, and a Presidential adoption would do wonders for greyhound rescue efforts across the country.

When we first got Liffey, he was three years old and had never set foot in a home before. He didn't know how to climb stairs. He didn't understand that the face looking back at him in the mirror was his own, and not another dog's. He walked into the plate glass door twice, not knowing what windows were. He had spent his entire life in a crate, leaving only to pee, eat, or run.

A year and a half later, he's a bit of a rock star in our very small town. Kids will stop us every three feet when we go for walks, and he stands patiently as they pet him and tell him how neat they think he is. Sometimes when I watch him curled up in a ball on the couch, I think about the first three years of his life, when he was just a number on a track, locked in a cage at night, and I can't help but worry about the other greys out there who are still in need. A greyhound in the White House would be the best thing that ever happened to the Greyhound Rescue movement; but even if that doesn't happen, the steps being made in states like Massachusetts are definite signs that the country is beginning to realize that these animals deserve loving families, good homes, and a chance to live a cage-free life.

[Grey2kUsa]
Mass. Voters Approve Dog Racing Ban [Boston Globe]
J.K. Rowling Adopts An Abandoned Greyhound [Daily Record]
Who Should Be The First Dog? Here Are The Candidates [AP]

Earlier: First Things First: What Kind Of Dog Should The First Puppy Be?

Humane Society Prez Says A Vote For Obama Is A Vote For Animals

Anna N. — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 13:40:00 EST

More precisely, Humane Society president Wayne Pacelle says Sarah Palin has a "very hostile record toward animal protection." But Pacelle has other fish to not fry this election day: the Humane Society is backing Prop. 2, a California measure that would insure the humane treatment of farm animals. Pacelle's Ken-doll mug has been all over the news in anticipation of the measure — he was in last week's New York Times magazine, and today he tells Time what he thinks about meat, Palin, and PTSD.

Pacelle says Sarah Palin led "a program that promoted aerial gunning of wolves and bears." But California animal farming may be scarier than Alaskan bear-hunting. Earlier this year, a Humane Society undercover investigation of a Southern California slaughterhouse led to the biggest beef recall in US history. Humane Society videos showed cows too weak to stand being dragged by chains and shoved by forklifts. Pacelle says, "I do worry about post traumatic stress disorder with our investigators because they see the worst things that humans do to other creatures."

Prop. 2 would hopefully change things. It requires that pigs, hens, and calves be able to "stand up, lie down, turn around, and freely extend their limbs" by 2015. Seems like the least we can do, but some critics say it's part of a stealth campaign to turn America vegan, or that it will put farmers out of business and drive up egg prices (“Do we want chickens to flap their wings?" asks one farmer. "Or do we want to eat?”).

Pacelle counters that any competent farmer should be able to adapt to the new standards by 2015. And he's not interested in getting Americans to quit eating meat. "We're a pluralistic society," he says, "and we have pluralism when it comes to food as well." As a vegetarian, I can get behind this — there's nothing I hate worse than when meat-eaters assume I want to rip the hamburgers out of their hands. But what do you, vegetarians and meat-eaters alike, think about factory farming and its regulations? Is it enough to treat our animals better, or should we all be going veg?

Putting Animal Cruelty on the Ballot [Time]
The Barnyard Strategist [NY Times]

Happy Hump Day!

Dodai — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 16:50:00 EDT

[Image via Getty.]

A couple of mating moor frogs (rana arvalis) are seen in a pond in the suburbs of the eastern town of Leipzig, Germany. The male moor frog (top) becomes blue in the spawning season. — Getty Images

A 19-year-old teenager has legally changed ...

Intern Margaret — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 09:40:00 EDT

A 19-year-old teenager has legally changed her name to CutoutDissection.com — "Cutout" for short — to protest animal dissections in schools. The North Carolina teen, formerly known as Jennifer Thornburg, says she has opposed dissections since she was given a class assignment in middle school to dissect a chicken wing. She helped create a policy in her school that lets students who oppose dissection complete a different assignment and is currently interning for PETA. Most of her family members, of course, still call her Jennifer. [CBS News]

And Now It's Time For An Adorable Break

hortense — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 17:20:00 EDT

Image by Gilles Gonthier via Flickr.

Much like this delightful creature, I'm going to take a little break as well. SNL is a re-run tonight, sadly, so there won't be an open thread. Whatever you do tonight, I hope you have a good time, and I'll see you all in the morning.

Scientists have finally discovered why your ...

Intern Margaret — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 13:30:00 EDT

Scientists have finally discovered why your male boss behaves like a chest-beating chimpanzee: it's in his genes. Aussie researchers interviewed hundreds of managers and employees, and found that, like animals, bosses assert their authority with visuals and behavior. (Like monkeys who flaunt brightly colored body parts, male managers tend to pair bright shirts or ties with dark suits; they also have bigger chairs, interrupt more, and use confusing jargon to assert their place in the office hierarchy. "Groups were territorial in the past because it helped them survive...But it is surprising how many... workers are still very tribal in their behavior," says professor Jeffrey Braithwaite. The research focused on men, but Braithwaite says that among female managers, some become "alpha females" to compete with the men while others adopt "a more team-oriented style." [The Independent]

Yay for women on the web: As today's NY Times ...

Maria — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 11:20:00 EDT

Yay for women on the web: As today's NY Times reports, Meg Frost, the creator of Cute Overload, has recently released a page-a-day desk calendar with pictures from the website and the calendar rose to the upper ranks of Amazon's best-sellers list. The site is also raking in a chunk of change from ad sales, which range from $500 a week for a standard ad to $2,000 a week for a premium ad. Ultimately, the site is so successful because it's a warm antidote to all of the nastiness on the internet; who can deny the pleasures of noming on the cute ear nubs on a kitteh? [NY Times, Image via Cute Overload]

The Elephant In The Room

Maria — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 12:40:00 EDT

What happens when wild elephants BEGIN destroying farms and homes in areas where the human population is encroaching onto the elephants' natural habitat? Turn other elephants against them! The Flying Squad is a group in Indonesia that uses four domesticated and specially trained elephants (2 male and 2 female) to "patrol" villages to keep rambunctious wild elephants at bay. The Flying Squad works in conjunction with the World Wildlife Foundation to help avoid human-elephant conflicts in the region. So basically, it saves both human and elephant lives. Good news for everyone involved. [National Geographic]

What the fuck is wrong with people? [Guardian]

Anna — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 13:20:00 EDT

What the fuck is wrong with people? [Guardian]

Wild Rides

Maria — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 11:20:00 EDT

A lucky koala in Australia survived being hit by a car going 60 mph and stuck in the car's grill for 7 miles until the driver stopped. The eight-year-old male marsupial was named "Ely 'Lucky' Grills" by rescuers, who freed his head from the car's grill with household scissors. The koala was in shock after the accident, but was left virtually unscathed, physically. Unfortunately, going on wild rides without protection can sometimes come at a cost: the koala is being treated for a chlamydial infection as he recovers in an animal hospital. [MSNBC]

Winston Light

Anna — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 14:45:00 EDT

Winston got weeded! His owner, Rich Juzwiak of FourFour (and, of course, Pot Psychology), has taken the famous, fuzzy feline to the groomer to give him some relief from the summer heat. Check out the awesome video diary and captioned stills documenting his close shave here. [FourFour]

America Loves Abused Puppies Approximately 2.5 Times More Than Battered Women

Jessica — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 14:40:00 EDT

Did you know that there are 3,800 animal shelters in the United States, but only 1,500 shelters for abused women? Economist Allison Schrager is well aware of this fact, and she wrote about the puppies vs. people issue in More Intelligent Life. You might be thinking that it's not an either animals or women issue, that it should be both, that we should support the humane treatment of any being. But it turns out that for many philanthropists, it is either/or. Schrager talks about a charity devoted to helping battered women, called the Retreat. "The charity is located in East Hampton, a posh beach community, full of people who make philanthropy a part of their financial and social lives. Yet she struggles to find donors," Schrager notes. "In response to her requests, [the fundraising director] often hears, 'Well, no one I would know would be a victim of domestic violence. Besides, I already give money to the animal rescue charity.' The animal rescue charity is one of the best endowed in the area."

Perhaps, as Schrager points out, people are more willing to give money to animal organizations because they perceive animals as blameless. Battered women? Not so much. "Perhaps we prefer helping animals because we believe they have a greater need. People often think a battered woman is free to leave her situation, while animals are physically prevented from leaving," Schrager writes. "Humans are easier to blame for their circumstances. Because we do not grant animals the same freedoms, we also do not assign them the same level of responsibility for their situation."

So is it wrong to give money to animals when you don't give money to human causes? Is there a charity hierarchy that should be widely acknowledged?

Does One Abused Woman = 100 Abused Puppies? [More Intelligent Life via Newser]

TGIF

Maria — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 16:10:00 EDT

[Images via AP]

A little sea lion cub hides behind an adult member of her family at the zoo Hellabrunn in Munich, southern Germany, on Friday, June 13, 2008. The sea lion cub was born in the zoo in Munich on May 26, 2008. — AP

Pig In Boots!

Sadie — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 14:45:00 EDT

Behold: something so cute you could not even have conceived of it. British piglet Cinders (named for Cinderella!) is scared of mud — a condition called mysophobia — and wears two teeny tiny little pairs of Paddington Bear wellies to protect her trotters. Her owners, Yorkshire pig farmers Andrew and Debbie Keeble, say Cinders will be spared from the sausage factory (literally): "She's more of a pet really now and she's going to live a very long and happy life," instead serving as a mascot for the Farm Crisis Network, which supports struggling farmers. We love her. [BBC News]

Animal Magnetisms

Tracie — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 15:50:00 EDT

These hair hats—hats that look like your hair is styled into looking like an animal's face—by Japanese artist Nagi Noda are at once beautifully executed and retarded. We kinda love them. (Click the hair hat to the left to check out more animal styles.) [Hair Hats via Neatorama]

Misogyny Among Monkeys Is "Natural Behavior"

Anna — Thu, 15 May 2008 13:30:00 EDT

Yeah, Jack Hanna can seem a little too willfully clueless, and yeah, he's on Letterman what seems like every other week, but by god, he and Dave have a good thing going, and I just can't hate the guy — after all, he let me bottle-feed a rare baby Bengal tiger back in 1996 when I was a cub reporter for a national entertainment magazine. Anyway, last night, Hanna — the director emeritus of the Columbus Zoo — choreographed a parade of creatures onto the Late Night stage, including some sort of monkey — a guenon — with a love of grooming and a seeming distaste for girls. In fact, if the monkey's manhandling of Letterman's microphone is any indication, we think it's pretty clear where the little guy's gender sympathies lie. Clip above.

Horse Shit

Anna — Sat, 03 May 2008 18:30:00 EDT

Good God. Just moments after finishing 2nd at the Kentucky Derby a few minutes ago, a filly named Eight Belles (seen at far left, she was the only female horse in the 20-horse race) broke both of her front ankles while pulling up, collapsed on the track, and was euthanized on the spot. Did NBC make anything but a cursory mention? No. (Over on the NY Times' "Rail" blog, commenters are somewhat-gleefully discussing the "symbolism" of the race with regards to the Democratic presidential nomination; Hillary Clinton, you see, had her money on the fallen filly.) You really have to wonder about a "sport" in which thousands of majestic creatures are cruelly-bred, overtrained and raced to the point of mortal injury. And all for ego-inflation of a few wealthy owners, the amusement of millions, and, of course, the profiteering of both. [NY Times]

Pigs On The Wing

Anna — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 10:45:00 EDT

The huge, inflatable, pro-Obama pig sent soaring over the Coachella music festival during Roger Waters' set of Pink Floyd songs last weekend has finally been found (in pieces) in nearby Indio, California. Reports the AP: "Susan Stoltz found a plastic heap in her driveway Monday, but said she didn't know what it was until she read about the missing pig in the Desert Sun newspaper. 'My kids are going to think I'm so cool,' she said." [AP]

When Animals Attract: Your Cuddly Childhood Creatures

Tracie — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 15:00:00 EDT

As I've said before, adopting a pet is perhaps the most masochistic thing we humans can do to ourselves. We develop affection, friendship, and unconditional love for our companion animals, all with the knowledge that we will be completely bereft and broken-hearted when we (inevitably) outlive them. But the upside of that total buzzkill (sorry) is that those of us who grew up alongside animals are lucky to have experienced those emotions; through them, we were given the tools to cope with love and loss, specifically, the ability to understand that just because loved ones are out of our lives, the impacts they made remain. So it goes with this month's Past Fashion feature, which focuses on pictures of Jezebel readers and their childhood pets and is jam-packed with warm, fuzzy feelings. (Someone had a kitten named Jezebel! Some of you had farm animals! One girl was lucky enough to have a monkey!) A gallery of the kids and their cute critters, after the jump.

(Click any picture to begin the gallery or enlarge image; if you're having trouble seeing all the pics or want to see them in an entire gallery form, click here.)

Oprah Investigates The Bad, Disgusting Business Of Puppy Mills

Tracie — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 19:00:00 EDT

Warning: Much of the clip at left is difficult to watch. It features an undercover investigation of the way dogs are reared and abused in puppy mills, which are legal businesses that mistreat dogs, using them to churn out as many litters as possible in order to supply those cute, fluffy puppies you see in pet store windows. Oprah was prompted to do this show after billboards in Chicago by Main Line Animal Rescue urged her to. MLAR rescues animals from puppy mills, nurses them back to health, and places them in good homes. An example of this is Shrimp, the Maltese/Poodle mix in the still seen above left. He was on death's door when MLAR intervened and nursed him back to health and happiness.

Related: Gaining Ground In A Decades-Long Fight To Shut Down Puppy Mills [Humane Society of the United States]
Adopting From An Animal Shelter [HSUS]

Reminders

Anna — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 13:45:00 EDT

Don't forget: For the April installment of our 'Past Fashion' feature, we're looking for pics of readers and the pet(s) they had as kids. Send your snaps to photos@jezebel.com.and put "Past Fashion - Pets" in the subject header of your email and let us know where and when the pic was taken, as well as your pet's name. We will be accepting submissions until April 18, and specifically want childhood photos of readers with their pets, warm and cold-blooded.

Call Of The Wild

Dodai — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 10:45:00 EDT

A New Zealand man who claimed he was raped by a wombat and left speaking with an Australian accent has been found guilty of wasting police time. Ha! But wait! There is a real animal-on-human attempted rape case! Women in the Indian village of Cherukulapadu claim that a 3 foot sex-crazed langur monkey has been assaulting them. Apparently the predatory primate saw a "couple engaged in amorous activities" and has been trying to copy the behavior. An elderly woman died of shock after the randy critter jumped on her. When it comes to primal urges, we'd like to NOM NOM that bebe wombat and say thanks, but no thanks, to that monkey. [Telegraph, Telegraph]

Pet Projects: Send Us Photos Of Your First Creature Comforts!

Tracie — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 15:00:00 EDT

Did you miss last week's great gallery of readers' Easter outfits? Or February's collection of retro black hairstyles? (Could you not submit photos because you are neither black nor Christian?) See here: For our next installment of Past Fashion, we're focusing on first pets. (We realize animals aren't "fashion" unless you're Anna Wintour, but, well, you know.) Why pets? Because you never forget your first companion animal. (It's actually almost masochistic, agreeing to love an animal so much, because essentially, you're agreeing to be heartbroken when they die. But that's also the beauty of pets — they teach kids how to cope with mortality.) And above all of that, pets are cute! [That's Tracie and her pet above left. -Ed.] Email your submissions to photos@jezebel.com with "Past Fashion: Pets" in the headline, and be sure to include your pet's name and the year the photo was taken. We will be accepting submissions until April 18, and specifically want childhood photos of readers with their pets, warm and cold-blooded.

Earlier: Holy Jesus You All Looked Cute In Those Horrid Easter Ensembles The Way We Were: Retro Black Hairstyles

Animal Magnetisms

Anna — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 18:45:00 EST

You know the accepted wisdom that married men live longer than their bachelor brethren? Well, Crazy Cat Ladies (and Mens) are more likely to live longer than those without feline friends. (Kind of.) A study conducted by researchers at the University of Minnesota has found that people without cats as pets are 30-40% more likely to die of cardiovascular disease. Inspired by other studies that suggest that pets help reduce stress, the researchers, including stroke expert Dr. Adnan Qureshi, analyzed a group of almost 4,500 people who had answered questions regarding pet ownership and cardiovascular health risks. Says Qureshi: "With this new research, I think the time has come to [get a cat]." [Dallas Morning News]

The Fur Flies At Jean-Paul Gaultier

Jennifer — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 16:00:00 EST

Designer Jean-Paul Gaultier is one of the highlights of Paris Fashion Week: Love him or loathe him, he always gives the fashion folk something to talk about. But, following last night's Fall 2008 presentation, many in attendance had little to say: Gaultier's audience, in fact, was rendered speechless by his gratuitous, almost pornographic use of fur. Fur appeared in nearly every look sent down the runway, and frequently, the heads and tails of the mammals themselves were still attached to the pelts. "I cannot recall the last time I saw so much fur on a runway," wrote the Washington Post's Robin Givhan on her blog this morning. "I couldn't decide if leaving the head on a stole is a form of brutal honesty or just plain creepy. In all truth, I generally like fur as long as it doesn't come from endangered species. But this was fur overload." Said the Telegraph's Hilary Alexander: "[H]eaps of fox-skins dangled from heads and waists and bags, croc-skins were turned into jackets and mink into scarves. At times, there was so much fur on the catwalk it seemed Gaultier was throwing down a deliberate challenge to PETA."

Jen Melocco of Australia's Daily Telegraph points out that, although Gaultier used furs produced from fur farms, he also used faux fur and pelts reworked from old coats, along with "leather and suede printed to look like fur was also used along genuine and fake fox-heads." But Christina Brinkley of the Wall Street Journal seemed downright traumatized by the animals on parade:

With Catherine Deneuve looking shocked in the front row, enfant terrible designer Jean-Paul Gaultier got our attention with fur. Not sanitized mink and fox coats. He gave us visceral fur: a fox coat with two fox heads swinging back and forth on the model's back — noses, eyes, teeth and all... the only thing missing from his show was a live fox prancing down the runway....[The show's] closer: recorded laughter — a huge wicked madman's laugh that followed the models off the runway.

Whether he meant to use fur as a "fuck you" to PETA — Gaultier's Paris boutique, after all, was one of those targeted by PETA's Ingrid Newkirk, as seen in the HBO documentary I Am An Animal — or as "brutal honesty", we do know one thing: The process of how fur gets made is never pretty. A gallery of selected looks, including captions with what we imagine to be Ingrid Newkirk's response to each, below.

Off the Runway [Washington Post]
Jean-Paul Gaultier [Telegraph]
Gauliter Gives Paris Visceral Fur [WSJ]
Fur flies at frock shock [The Daily Telegraph]

Earlier: PETA Founder Thinks Fur Is Yucky, Alexander McQueen is "Desperate"

This just pretty much just made our day: ...

Anna — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 12:45:00 EST

This just pretty much just made our day: Courtney Oliver, a young girl from Olympia, Washington, is not only a certified genius, but a certified veterinary assistant and college graduate well on her way to becoming a full-fledged veterinarian. As one reader told us, this girl is living our 10-year-old dream...but at 10 years old. [CNN]

TGIF

dodai — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 17:10:00 EST

[Germany, January 17. Image via Getty.]

Baby giraffe 'Kibo' is observed by his father in their enclosure at the zoo in Cologne, western Germany. The young animal born at the zoo is estimated to have a weight of about 80 kilograms (176 lbs.) and to be 1,80 meters (about 6 feet) tall.

Dog's Best Friend

Jennifer — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 10:45:00 EST

A heartbroken pooch named Oscar was so bereft over the death of his best friend, a cat named Arthur, that he went out in the backyard, dug up Arthur's remains, and moved the kitty corpse back into the house and into his doggy bed. Arthur has since been reburied and Oscar's owners got him a new feline to play with. A live one, that is. [Times of London]

Cute email from a dude! From a tipster named ...

Moe — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 17:30:00 EST

Cute email from a dude! From a tipster named "Josh": "Not sure if you've seen this photograph from the Economist of pandas eating." [Economist]

Fashion Victims

Anna — Mon, 31 Dec 2007 12:45:00 EST

Fur sales are up! And the world's cold-weather mammals can thank the citizens of China and Russia for the disturbing development. (Maybe it was that Fendi show on the Great Wall back in October?) But before us environment and animal-loving types condemn two nations with a combined population of 1.5 billion, did you know that wearing the pelts of mammals such as mink, sable and chinchilla is the new way to "go green"? Says Keith Kaplan of the Fur Information Council of America (check out his "12 Days of Christmas... In Fur Style!"): "Fur is the grand-daddy of green. It comes from a renewable, sustainable resource. There is very little pollution involved in the production of it and it is biodegradeable." One question: If mink farmers have to electrocute the animals internally in order to "leave their pelts intact", doesn't the use of that electricity count as carbon emission? [Times Of London]

Even Ginger Cats Have The Christmas Spirit

Jennifer — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 17:10:00 EST

Animal pictures? You (and, er, Jessica) asked, we (and one of our readers, Miriam) answered. At left, a picture Miriam sent us of her Christmas cat, Carlo. ("He actually didn't mind being dressed up at all.") In the gallery which begins below, ten other cute critters we managed to find.

[All gallery images via AP.]

Jessica to Anna on the extremely frustrating ...

Anna — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 12:45:00 EST

Jessica to Anna on the extremely frustrating lack of good material today: "Can't we just post pictures of puppies for the rest of the day?"

Reasons To Love Animal Planet: Hot Guys, Badass Broads, Cute Creatures

Anna — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 12:30:00 EST

Was holiday travel a bitch for you this year? It was for me. In fact, the only thing (besides a stiff drink) that helped me endure my joke of a JetBlue flight out of JFK was the on-board entertainment system. Specifically: Animal Planet. I bring this up for two reasons. The first: 2 hours into my six-hour marathon watching the network, I noticed that many other females on the flight were tuned to the same channel. The second (smaller) reason: Some confusion in the comments of yesterday's post about zoos with regards to my stance on the channel. (For the record, I also like polar bear pajamas; I was just making a point about the dual fetishization of/cruelty to animals in America.) Anyway, last night, Wonkette waterboarder Megan Carpentier and I spent an hour IM'ing about our addiction to the cable channel's hunky heroes (Jeff Corwin, specifically), animal abuser revenge fantasies, and the now-legendary Puppy Bowl. Our conversation, after the jump.

Anna: ok so let's talk about animal planet. as you know, what prompted me to want to do this chat now as opposed to an undetermined time in the future is that i may have mistakenly given the impression in a post that i don't like the channel. a commenter questioned it, so i felt the need to set the record straight. also: it is a SLOOOOW news week so animals are always a good go-to.

Megan: animal planet: obviously, i am completely addicted as well.

Anna: so i want to know: when did you start watching, how many hours a week, and what are your favorite shows/who favorite personalities?

Megan: ok, how I started watching is a complete embarrassment, but it was one of
the animal cops shows- NY or San Francisco, I can't say. because there's hardly anything on at 10:00 on weeknights and I would be like, awwww, poor puppy/kitty/horsie/swan whatever and be totally hooked for an hour.

Anna: haha SWAN

Megan: and then it's all like, yay! new home! omg, did you not see the episode in NYC with the swan? these meanies killed a swan that was nesting and they saved the little swan eggs and everything

Anna: no! i never saw that one.

Megan: one of the "cops" was keeping them warm in her coat!

Anna: did the people get charged? the meanies?

Megan: no. they like, shot it with an arrow it was very sad.

Anna: ugh. i don't get that. see, that's one thing i don't like about the animal cops shows: the people sometimes get off scot-free

Megan: not in Texas. it's like completely awesomely Texas-y that one person an episode in Texas just gets hosed

Anna: one reason to like texas!

Megan: in NY and Detroit, hardly ever. it's usually the horse-abusers, who are always truly awful.

Anna: sometimes when the agents are dealing with the abusers, i wonder: how do they stay so CALM? cause i'm often about to put my fist through the fucking TV screen and why don't they yell more? that's one thing that bugs me. they don't really ever chew them out. at least not to MY liking.

Megan: sometimes they aren't, which is even more awesome. i've definitely seen people- even the gruff dudes (NY and Detroit again) like tear up. and i've totally seen people get ripped new ones. see, i obviously watch this alot.

Anna: well then you are watching the right episodes and i am watching the WRONG ONES. one awesome thing: the women in animal precinct (the show set in nyc) are often parked outside the deli and diner in my neighborhood in queens, getting coffee/food. i was starstruck when i saw the blonde woman... annemarie lucas. i waved, albeit shyly

Megan: see, i like the really rough-seeming ones, because they're soooo cute to see go ga-ga over the animals

Anna: the men?

Megan: yeah. annemarie seems like an animal person, more than a cop. well, a couple of the lady cops look like they could do some damage, and then they're all like, kitty kitty kitty and it's totally sweet. and there's that lady in detroit

Anna: the heavyseat one with the curly dark hair?

Megan: yeah, her in detroit, too. she could take someone down. and the black dudes in detroit are cute!. but she could kick my ass halfway into next week.

Anna: i wonder if they have groupies

Megan: omg, they HAVE to have groupies. i would totally hit on them in a bar, are you kidding?

Anna: haha ME TOO . so the horses bother you the most. they bother me for sure, but so do the puppies and adult dogs

Megan: well, let's not get me wrong, the dog situations are usually horrifying and sad and awful

Anna: embedded collars, etc.

Megan: but with the horses, we're talking months and months and months of starvation if not years, whereas a dog I can at least pretend that it's like 6 weeks, tops

Anna: yes. there was a family of pigs on a recent episode of one of the shows (phoenix maybe?) that were being starved and that really got to me. which is perhaps hypocritical because i eat them?

Megan: plus, then, the owners are always like, but i just rode him last week, and you've got this horse that weighs less than me. no, the starving piggies are sad, too. i mean, a starving pet is just terrible. my friends feel bad if they forget to feed their dog at 7 and do so at 8

Anna: i would like for someone to start a blog with the names/email addresses of the abusive owners seen on those shows so that... so that... i dunno. i could write to them and tell them off? send them a care package of shit? something?

Megan: flaming bags of poo would, i think, be completely appropriate. (unrelated point: i know a lobbyist who had that done to him at his office door)

Anna: hahaha. i know a guy who got a baby ruth bar, melted it slightly (just slightly) in an office microwave, shaped it a bit with his fingers, and laid it in the bed of a pair of tightey whiteys and left that on his office mate's desk. the company sent out a memo the next day saying they were looking for the perp and that they'd had the substance tested and it was found to be human feces

Megan: lmao

Anna: right?

Megan: what does that say about poo?

Anna: speaking of poo? there isn't a lot of shit to be found on animal planet. my experience is that animals generate a LOT of shit

Megan: It might be Discovery instead of AP, but Mike Rowe on Dirty Jobs on whom I have an enormous crush deals in animal poo all the time. They need to get an animal poo roundup show with him on AP.

Anna: oooh good one!

Megan: But, you're right. Miss Adventure would be the only one who would ever traffic in poo

Anna: i think jeff corwin has made some shit jokes

Megan: Jeff Corwin would. And he's cute.

Anna: and he's funny. even though his jokes can be kinda lame?

Megan: And Jeff Corwin always seems to end up wet. Sorta like Mike Rowe ends up shirtless a lot. I think they're playing to our baser natures, and I'm fine with that.

Anna: you should ask your friend who works for AP but, do they have two distinct demographics? young males who like lizards and snakes and then women, who like the cuddly creatures and hot guys?

Megan: Ummm, I'm going to guess that they mostly gear towards kids and women. Because I like lizards and snakes and it's really education, and the only men I know who are devoted watchers are gay.

Anna: on the plane back from california the other day, i was watching the new orangutan show on AP and paul was watching some GUY SHOW on some other channel - south park? something - and he looked over at my screen for a bit, then changed his channel to animal planet too.it was cute

Megan: omg, i love monkeys, too. also, awww.

Anna: i love the orangutan show! i'd never seen it. i actually started crying halfway through the second episode, but that may have been the high altitude

Megan: oh, please, who doesn't cry at Animal Planet shows here and there? I think my roommate made me watch one once in college about lemurs and the lemur died and I wept.

Anna: oh i do all the time but i also don't usually go from zero (no crying) to 60 (full-on sobs) that often or, that quickly. do you like emergency vets? i think i am developing a crush on the lead doctor.

Megan: Yeah, definitely. They're after our souls! Hot guys, and Puppy Bowl? It's a winning combination.

Anna: haha. i like puppy bowl BUT i get bored quickly. speaking of, when i was on the AP site tonight loooking for a HOT IMAGE OF CORWIN i saw that AP is selling puppy bowl dvds, which, for some reason, i find ridiculous. it is a genius idea, however - puppy bowl. isn't there a kitten halftime show? or am i making that up?

Megan: but you know why I'll bet people buy puppy bowl dvds? to leave on for their dogs during the day.

Anna: which brings us to... do you have a pet?

Megan: I do not, actually. I used to work the kind of hours I felt were mean, so I'm godmother to my neighbor's dog Ronnie and I dogsit for my friends' dog Bourbon. I'm a doggie aunt.

Anna: no pet? see here's my experience with AP and pets
1. i leave AP on when i'm not home for them. sound turned down but picture on.
2. when i AM home and watching an Animal Planet show that i find upsetting, i go to them for consolation.
them = 2 cats. thing is, they could give a shit about giving me consolation

Megan: Well, they are cats.

Anna: so it's just me with wet eyes and cooing and shit. i do think they watch AP quite often. they like the meerkats

Megan: I love the meerkats. [sniffs] Poor Flower.

Anna: i'd like for your friend at Animal Planet to find out how many people leave the channel on for their animals when they leave the house. i'd think that would boost ratings!

Megan: I would bet a ton of people do. I wonder how they'd find that out? Also, I wonder if advertisers would then try to develop more pet-specific advertising, and whether it would work.

Anna: ok hot guys: who else is hot? is corwin the only one?

Megan: Well, I mean, Sean Astin voices Meerkat, and I still have a residual Goonies-era crush there. I saw him once in DC, and I got all schoolgirl about it, especially when I realized that no one else around recognized him but me because he's short-ish and just looked like any other Hill staffer if you weren't paying attention.

Anna: Ok, so, him, the 2 Detroit guys...

Megan: the snake assistant on the Miami version (Mario, I think he name is), and, frankly, the pudgy guy (Charles?) on Texas got me when he cried over a horsie dying in his arms. because i was like, awww, big teddy bear.

Anna: dude if you are going to have a proper crush on the detroit guys you need to LEARN THEIR NAMES

Megan: Sean Hairston is the one without dreds

Anna: ok one down! do u know the other one's name?

Megan: damn you! um, no I'm blanking

Anna: ok i'll give u a HINT. it's actually VERY SIMILAR to the name of a certain discovery channel hottie you mentioned earlier

Megan: so, it's Mike?

Anna: yes. and last name is just one letter different. DOWE. mike dowe

Megan: so, they're cute, plus Mario and Charles. are there actually other men? Mo Rocca used to do a voice over and he's kinda fey nerdy cute.

Anna: (note to animal planet: need more men)

Megan: there are some ripped ones on Arizona, but I hardly ever see new episodes

Anna: well there was STEVE IRWIN. but he never did it for me

Megan: nah, he never did it for me either. he was too hyper for my taste. But Jacques Cousteau's hot grandson...

Anna: why is it that men who work with animals are especially hot? i mean i get it but
i don't think that men who work with, say, children are hot. i don't think they're NOT hot but i certainly don't think they're extra hot

Megan: Well, it sorta depends on the guy, but I think we're starting to be conditioned a little to view men that works with children with a touch of suspicion. because of the relentless media coverage of pedophile teachers and coaches and stuff. but that doesn't exist with men who are good with animals, and we're projecting that they would then be good with kids, probably. also, the hot grandson is phillipe: http://www.cnn.com/2006/SHOWBIZ/TV/09/06/cnna.cousteau/index.html

Anna: i don't like the scruff on him. too manicured. also he has highlights? or is that just from days on the ocean?

Megan: yeah, he's looking kinda too manicured

Anna: read = GAY

Megan: well, could be but i've heard otherwise

Anna: it's the whole gay or european debate. So, did we figure out anything? were we supposed to? or were we just riffing on animal planet? oh, i wanted to know how many hours a week or day you watch it

Megan: Um, I'd have to say 5 hours a week? I really don't watch and blog because I get distracted.

Anna: yeah i turn on cnn during blogging hours. animal planet only weekend. i would like for them to do more programming on how animals are farmed in america. not judgmental just educational

Megan: oooh, yes.

Anna: because if they're airing "mature" stuff like GRIZZLY MAN they can air something about industrial food production

Megan: it's actually really interesting. I am a big educated carnivore. Grizzly Man was amazing!

Anna: i loved that movie THE FOXES! oh one last question! your avatar is a monkey right? if so, WHAT KIND???

Megan: actually, i believe it's a puppy in a costume. it used to be a lioness, but it MYSTERIOUSLY changed the time i blogged from Moe's. not that i'm accusing

Anna: hahahaha. SHE had that avatar once! it's haunting her home. well i think it's the right amount of "cute" and "intimidating"

Megan: yeah, that seems to be about my style

Earlier: The Real Beasts At Zoos Are Not Always In Cages

Reader Roundup

Jessica — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 16:45:00 EST

Best Comment of the Day, in response to Girl Power: "Who are they fooling? They just want her to get a man because he'll have to get with her friends too." We say: we thought the Spices made their position on group sex clear back in 1996: It's 2 become 1, y'all. • Worst, in response to The Real Beasts At Zoos Are Not Always In Cages : "People come first, then animals and if I want to go to a zoo and look at captive animals, it is totally my right. It is NOT the right of the animal to live in the wild." We say: Um, even if you were just trying to start shit, honey, we are still going to sic Knut on your ass. [Image from Oh! My God! I Miss You.]