The suspect is said to have been in the shape of some sort of 4-legged creature, perhaps a horse or donkey. It is covered in crepe paper and may be leaking candy from a cavity wound. If sighted, please beat unconscious with a baseball bat until help arrives.
Come on now, no one's picked up yet on the fact that Snoopy's nose was stolen? In a place called Sleepy Eye? Is it being held in someone's mouth? Under their hair piece? Inside their Bumpit? Behind an ear? Between two fingers in an irritating "Got your nose!" gambit?
Really, now. I didn't want to say it, but I'm disappointed, Jezebelles....
Phew, that British Mother had a C section. The thought of pushing a 13 pound baby out of my vagina...hell any vagina.. has cured my fear of monster penises.
Re: France's leisure habits. They have leisure time and more vacation time. Americans have not very much at all. We are all fat and stressed and cranky. Or maybe that's just me on Mondays.
If you feel strongly about Roxana Saberi, a group of her supporters is organizing a fast. You sign up to fast for 24 hours; it goes through May 14. I did it yesterday and may do it next weekend too. In the grand scheme of things it might not do any good, but I felt like I was doing something more than just being angry about her situation.
The 911 caller got ARRESTED?! Fuck the police... "Abusing 911" DOESN'T EVEN EXIST! Are you supposed to be calm while calling 911 for an emergency? This trumps the bullshittery of the Chicago police.
Damn the French! And their leisure ways that I don't get to participate in, with all the sleeping in eating. (Hey, it's Cinco De Mayo tomorrow anyway, so I get to fart in their general direction on that day, and I figured I may as well start a little early...)
It's been a pleasure getting to know all of you, but I'm off to France. I don't think I'll have to learn the language since my mouth will always be either full or snoring.
A new study from the Children's Hospital in Boston indicates that kids who watch adult-targeted TV are more likely to be sexually active at a younger age than those who stick to Saturday morning cartoons.
What about kids whose parents thought that cartoons were "too wild and sassy" for them and restricted their television watching to 1 hour of PBS per day and specific, individually approved National Geographic specials?
Always good to know I can come to Jezebel for my daily portion of angry. Taking the time to yell at a young woman whose father is having a seizure? Convicting a pregnant woman of killing her fetus in an accidental traffic incident - and then total mindfuck - pay damages to its eventual successors??
At least glad to hear my lazy habits can be blamed on the French grandparents. :)
11/09/09
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05/04/09
Really, now. I didn't want to say it, but I'm disappointed, Jezebelles....
05/04/09
Oh, the humanity!
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[www.freeroxana.net]
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What about kids whose parents thought that cartoons were "too wild and sassy" for them and restricted their television watching to 1 hour of PBS per day and specific, individually approved National Geographic specials?
05/04/09
1. Roseanne, the later years
2. The Facts of Life
3. A Different World
4. Oprah, when she talked about sexy times
5. Golden Girls
05/04/09
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05/04/09
1. Roseanne
2. The Simpsons (Because even though it was a cartoon, it was NOT for kids)
3. Pee-Wee's Playhouse
4. 90210
5. Married..with Children
6. Blossom (Because of the way her dad and bros treated women. Which was kind of uncharacteristically feminist of my mom, actually.)
05/05/09
1. Full House
2. You Can't Do That On Television
yet my mom loved and let us watch Ren & Stimpy and PeeWee's Playhouse . . .
05/04/09
At least glad to hear my lazy habits can be blamed on the French grandparents. :)