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New York, 4:15 PM
Mon Dec 21
44 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of lalaland13 lalaland13
    03:53 PM

    In reply to Bogus: The Phoniest Tabloid Stories Of 2009
    Actually, a friend of a source of a roommate tells me Michelle was impregnated by Ted Kennedy before he died (as opposed to after) and that the only reasonable thing to do was to put the child in a Portugese Water Dog costume and act so happy that Ted "gave" the family a new "pet."
     Reply
    lalaland13 was starred lalaland13 was unstarred
    Image of swat1227 swat1227
    03:37 PM

    In reply to Bogus: The Phoniest Tabloid Stories Of 2009
    What, no J&K+8? It wouldn't have been 2009 without that train wreck.
     Reply
    SunburnedCounsel promoted this comment swat1227 was starred swat1227 was unstarred
    Image of SunburnedCounsel SunburnedCounsel
    03:46 PM

    @swat1227: yeah, but most of that stuff was true.
     Reply
    SunburnedCounsel was starred SunburnedCounsel was unstarred
    Image of HerdingCats HerdingCats
    03:36 PM

    In reply to Bogus: The Phoniest Tabloid Stories Of 2009
    Does anyone know why almost all of the tabs use yellow type for their headlines? Is it an industry standard based on research, or mere tradition, or something else?
     Reply
    hortense promoted this comment HerdingCats was starred HerdingCats was unstarred
    Image of annebreal annebreal
    03:36 PM

    In reply to Bogus: The Phoniest Tabloid Stories Of 2009
    So to recap, InTouch hates Brad and Angelina, yet loves the Kardashians? It's not me, InTouch, it's you. We're never going to be able to make it work.
     Reply
    BabyJane promoted this comment annebreal was starred annebreal was unstarred
    Image of KLondike5 KLondike5
    03:28 PM

    In reply to Bogus: The Phoniest Tabloid Stories Of 2009
    Clearly, the writers and editors for the tabs just sit around thinking about what their readers want celebrities to do, instead of looking at what they are actually doing.

    It's like a giant Choose Your Own Adventure book, played out weekly, with big yellow headlines.

    So, in 2010 I want

    Michelle Obama turning down passionate sexts from Tiger Woods

    Maddox Jolie Pitt totally, like, embarrassed about how goofy his parents are

    Suri Cruise playing 'hairdresser' and giving herself a buzzcut, then deciding to wear nothing but Carhartt boots and overalls. Then I'll believe she and Shiloh JP had a playdate.
     Reply
    IBleedGlitter: The High Priestess of Tinsel promoted this comment KLondike5 was starred KLondike5 was unstarred
    Image of rodmanstreet rodmanstreet
    03:22 PM

    In reply to Bogus: The Phoniest Tabloid Stories Of 2009
    I'm kind of loving the smug, giddy look on Gerard Butler's face in # 7. I'm almost hearing Austin Powers' voice: "Yeah, baby!"
     Reply
    rodmanstreet was starred rodmanstreet was unstarred
    Image of o-line o-line
    03:22 PM

    In reply to Bogus: The Phoniest Tabloid Stories Of 2009
    I can't wait for my first issue of Jennifer Aniston Will Die Alone Weekly to arrive in the mail.
     Reply
    o-line was starred o-line was unstarred
    Image of Yahtzii Yahtzii
    03:20 PM

    In reply to Bogus: The Phoniest Tabloid Stories Of 2009
    Angelina adopts Michael Jackson's children!
    Jen's baby fever is out of control!

    Britney Spears engaged to Robert Pattinson, who is an actual emo vampire!
    Stalk me, baby, one more time!

    President Obama caught in torrid embrace with Brad Pitt!
    We hear they're converting to Scientology, because why the fuck not?

    Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are a normal couple! No, really. Seriously. REALLY.
     Reply
    Edited by Yahtzii at 12/21/09 3:22 PM Yahtzii was starred Yahtzii was unstarred
    Image of CurtCole CurtCole
    03:24 PM

    @Yahtzii: Brad and Angelina decided on one last name for Shiloh as soon as they realized Jolie-Pitt sounds like Holy Shit!
     Reply
    CurtCole was starred CurtCole was unstarred
    Image of Mary McCarthyite Mary McCarthyite
    03:25 PM

    @Yahtzii: I bet at least one of these comes true in 2010.
     Reply
    Mary McCarthyite was starred Mary McCarthyite was unstarred
    Image of Yahtzii Yahtzii
    03:27 PM

    @CurtCole: Gwyneth Paltrow debut her new line: GOOP for K-Mart!
     Reply
    Yahtzii was starred Yahtzii was unstarred
    Image of CurtCole CurtCole
    03:30 PM

    @Yahtzii: GOOP taken off shelves after customer complains that it does not contain goop, only uppity advice!!!
     Reply
    CurtCole was starred CurtCole was unstarred
    Image of iquenique iquenique
    03:17 PM

    In reply to Bogus: The Phoniest Tabloid Stories Of 2009
    Brad storms off into Gerard's arms, leaving pregnant Jen inconsolable and Angie adopting a white, Canadian child to mend her broken heart and be the ring-bearer as she walks down the aisle with Tom, as a distraught Katie moves to her secret apartment in NYC, where she hides Suri from Xenu while kindling the child's secret love affair with Maddox.

    Oh, and the Kardashians are all pregnant, married and go bald. And get In Touch tattooed on their scalps.
     Reply
    SomeAuthorGirl promoted this comment iquenique was starred iquenique was unstarred
    Image of SomeAuthorGirl SomeAuthorGirl
    03:21 PM

    @iquenique: The only thing I would add is that Robert Pattinson getting pregnant would really make my 2010.
     Reply
    SomeAuthorGirl was starred SomeAuthorGirl was unstarred
    Image of SunburnedCounsel SunburnedCounsel
    03:15 PM

    In reply to Bogus: The Phoniest Tabloid Stories Of 2009
    "Unless they've cleverly disguised their adopted son in a Portuguese Water Dog costume, this never happened."

    This made me laugh. Really, awkwardly hard. Thanks Margaret.
     Reply
    SunburnedCounsel was starred SunburnedCounsel was unstarred
    Image of sassyredhead sassyredhead
    03:26 PM

    @SunburnedCounsel: Me too! And I so needed it! Thanks Margaret!
     Reply
    sassyredhead was starred sassyredhead was unstarred
    Image of Leucadia Leucadia
    03:12 PM

    In reply to Bogus: The Phoniest Tabloid Stories Of 2009
    I would love to be a major celebrity, and pose for EVERY SINGLE picture with my hands on my belly and a coy smile. Just to see how long it takes for the headlines to stop.
    But then the headline would be on the Enquirer and titled: "Leucadia's Horrifying Tale: Pregnant for Seven Years!"
     Reply
    BabyJane promoted this comment Leucadia was starred Leucadia was unstarred
    Image of madeofawesome madeofawesome
    03:10 PM

    In reply to Bogus: The Phoniest Tabloid Stories Of 2009
    It seems Brad has only one method of transportation: storming off. While regular men might ride their motorcycle or go to their movie premiere, Brad can only "storm off" on his bike or "storm off" to the San Sebastian International Film Festival.

    Best. Line. Ever.

    Also, wizard college sounds like a hella good time.
     Reply
    hortense promoted this comment Edited by madeofawesome at 12/21/09 3:11 PM madeofawesome was starred madeofawesome was unstarred
    Image of karmaskull karmaskull
    03:07 PM

    In reply to Bogus: The Phoniest Tabloid Stories Of 2009
    Am I the only one who believes the whole Angelina-Brad-Poor Sad, Single Jen saga delights all three celebrities? The attention keeps them all relevant in pop culture...
     Reply
    slowpoke.r promoted this comment karmaskull was starred karmaskull was unstarred
    Image of slowpoke.r slowpoke.r
    03:16 PM

    @karmaskull: Yes. I've decided that at least once a month, Jennifer and Angelina get together over coffee and discuss who has projects coming up and when. Then one of them knowingly hires as a temporary assistant a plant from the Enquirer or TMZ or whatever and starts texting (Jen, to Brad) or yelling (Angie, at Brad), or touching their stomach (both). Then they arrange appropriate interview responses (emailing each other footage, details, possibly rough drafts of answers), and finally, they do analysis of the media coverage and how it's affecting their projects so that they can strategize at the next meeting.

    Brad is of course involved; I don't want to make it seem like they're running the whole show, it's just that he's more about the staging/ acting it out end of things whereas they're both excellent strategists. Because everything is best explained by the A Team: I see him as being a sort of combination BA (Mr T)/ Murdock, whereas Jen and Angie together are a mix of Hannibal/ Face.
     Reply
    slowpoke.r was starred slowpoke.r was unstarred
    Image of cate3710 cate3710
    03:05 PM

    In reply to Bogus: The Phoniest Tabloid Stories Of 2009
    I am still insanely jealous of the Jolie-Pitt "theme days." I wanna play too!
     Reply
    cate3710 was starred cate3710 was unstarred
    Image of Margaret Margaret
    03:10 PM

    @cate3710: I know! I'm thinking of consoling myself by having a Jolie-Pitt theme day and forcing each of my friends to dress up as one of the kids.
     Reply
    Margaret was starred Margaret was unstarred
    Image of SunburnedCounsel SunburnedCounsel
    03:16 PM

    @Margaret: Can I be Shiloh? She always seems to have a sword, and sensible shoes.
     Reply
    SunburnedCounsel was starred SunburnedCounsel was unstarred
    Image of dirtybee dirtybee
    12/19/09

    In reply to Amy Engaged To Blake, Lindsay Spotted With Leo, And Sarah Jessica Wants You To Smell Like B.O.
    Lil Wayne was supposed to perform in Laredo TX last night - my cousins that live there were really excited to see him perform (Laredo doesn't get too many "famous" musicians) - only to find out he got stopped at the checkpoint with weed. He is performing tonight after all.

    Word of advice: Don't carry weed if you're traveling amongst areas known for hardcore drug trafficking.
     Reply
    dirtybee was starred dirtybee was unstarred
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