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Wed Dec 2
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Does Cutting Your Hair Mean You Don't Want Sex? |
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Jezebel 
11/13/09
*shakes fist menacingly* #candymagazine
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11/13/09
But something is making me feel a little uncomfortable about grouping transsexuality in with transvestism, cross dressing and androgyny. This may be opening up a huge can of identity worms -- and I'm not saying it definitely shouldn't be there -- but it just makes me a little nervous, especially after watching the promo vid.
I mean, I love butch women with a heat hotter than 1000 suns, and I love folks who genderbend and fuck with the binary. Everyone in that video is fucking beautiful.
But transsexuality is not an identity that has to do with a fixed gender. I mean, trans women run the spectrum from super-high-femme-y to flannel-and-boot-wearing, and trans men can be gayer than a three-dollar bill or as macho as a lumberjack. I don't think I'm explaining this well, but transsexuality is not necessarily a gender-bending identity, like that of a drag queen or a butch or someone who is androgynous. Trans folks CAN be all those things, but they're not always. So, it smacks a little bit of treating a transsexual identity as just another kind of gender performance.
And then I think, well, but butch women's gender identity is not a performance, either (butch women =/= drag king). So maybe I'm overworrying about this. #candymagazine
11/13/09
That is all. #candymagazine
11/13/09
Transvestism - crossdressing for sexual excitement
Crossdressing - More a hobby, something one does from time to time
Androgyny - Has to do with presentation and not necessarily questioning gender identity
Transsexualism - Something more akin to a birth defect... One was assigned the wrong sex at birth. The aim is to fix the offending defect and then get on with normal life.
Again, if you talk to 100 people, you'll probably get 100 definitions. One of the myriad problems with the umbrella term "transgender". #candymagazine
11/13/09
At the same time, though, androgynes often go through just as much of a struggle as transsexuals.
I think it comes down to the misconception of choice (as if whether it's a choice or not has anything to do with a person's right to it) when it comes to sexuality and gender identity beyond the binary roles. And I think that when we are trying to get mainstream acceptance, we sort of sell out the more "outrageous" groups, like drag queens and genderqueers, thinking that we can ease people in slowly, and try to focus on the least socially threatening groups first.
But I think that we need to be careful not to start believing that a drag, androgyne, or genderfuck indentity is always something you choose, where a transsexual identity is something you do not. I don't think that's true; maybe in some cases, but for many people, they cannot not be what they are, and trying to suppress their true identity would make them every bit as miserable as someone who felt they were simply a female in a male's body or vice versa.
They are not the same thing. But I'm worried that by seperating them, we are saying that one is more legitimate than the other... #candymagazine
11/13/09
A hundred times yes. That's why I was hesitant to even comment, because I wasn't sure I could express what I was feeling in a way that didn't come across as dismissive of someone's identity as "just performative."
I am absolutely not saying that I think anyone's gender identity is a choice or "just performative." But I think that's actually what happens sometimes when trans women are showcased in the media alongside drag queens: their identities as women are equated to what's seen as a "false," hyper-feminine, hyper-made-up, female-impersonator identity -- so an onlooker can look at them and say "that's like a drag queen, that's not a REAL woman" (and simultaneously, of course, not a "real man"). Trans women become conflated with that image of femininity, instead of being allowed to be "just women."
(Again, I'm all for folks expressing that version of femininity, too! I don't want to invalidate anyone's gender expression!)
The OP just made me think about how, before my partner's transition, I asked if he would ever be interested in doing any drag king performances, and he was really adverse to the suggestion -- because, for him, his identity as masculine wasn't a form of temporary dress-up or gender play (as it can be for some kings, queens, and cross-dressers), and it wasn't something to perform. It was who he was. Performing some version of masculinity would actually call his own identity even more into question by those who didn't understand it.
And no, I don't think separation is the answer. The video just struck me as mainly celebratory of the hyper-feminine image of trans-femininity -- and I can see how that would be . . . not helpful or representative for a lot of trans women.
I could also be totally talking out my elbow. I guess this just means that we need 3 or 4 monthlies about trans/genderqueer experiences to showcase all sorts of identities and issues. Maybe then I wouldn't end up writing page-long screeds about one limited-edition magazine because I don't know how it distinguishes between drag queens' and trans women's identities. :) #candymagazine
11/13/09
11/13/09
Man, tracking down this info was nuts. It's only going to a limited number of speciality shops. Booo!
[www.byluisvenegas.com] #candymagazine
11/14/09
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12/04/08
I think it's fair to say that this whole short-hair-equals-low-libido-or-latent-lesbianism thing is bollocks. For one, why is the guy making her hair cut about him? It's not about you, a-hole, it's about her!
Also, I took the chop a few years ago and got a super-short pixie, which I loved and got loads of compliments about, but was still sometimes concerned that people assumed I was Lezebel. I didn't get any sexy times, but that's because where I live is full of sexually oppressed mama's boys. It shall remain unnamed. My hair is a bit longer how but only because short hair is really more work that you might think.
12/04/08
Not because, like, bald kids might need wigs or anything like that.
(My husband, luckily, understood these people were idiots. And thought the sex was kinda funner for a while, since my hair was so different suddenly. But we both like it better longer.)
12/04/08
Well, you have a week till I get paid. So have at it, boys.
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