In the clip above, Joy asks Levi if he believes that Sarah Palin loves him, as she said on Oprah. "Sex on Skates" tells it like it is: "You've seen her on TV so you can tell she's fake if you're paying attention." (Exactly!)

Joy tries to get Levi to say whether he and Bristol ever had sex in the Palin home. He refuses, but the answer is written all over his face. (In fact, don't you think they probably did it in Sarah and Todd's bed?):


Levi "I ain't ever seen a gay guy in Wasilla" is open-minded about his gay icon status: "They're people too. It doesn't matter to me. More fans, it's great":


This kid and his handlers really need to hurry up with Levi's Book of Palin Secrets, but they probably don't have a release date yet because they're seeing if Palin will run for President in 2012, when a book like Levi's would get the most traction (and do the most damage.) Every time Sarah Palin drives me nuts (lately, several times per day) I'm just going to remember that Levi has explosive secrets yet to share. I just hope that kid kept a diary.


Here's the Atlantic's Andrew Sullivan, who has been obsessed with - some would say unhinged over - Sarah Palin and the former Governor's uterus for over a year at this point. He continues his line of questioning as to the circumstances surrounding the labor and delivery of Palin's youngest son, Trig. (All political conspiracy theories apparently start in Dallas.) "No one does that," he says of Palin's choice to fly home to Alaska while in labor. "No one ever does that." (We love it when men assert knowledge and mastery over female reproductive systems!) Then, he summons the wisdom of Judge Judy.

We know Sarah Palin isn't the biggest fan of Vogue, but we think she'd do really well guest-editing her own issue. So we've worked up a sample cover in the style of our Cover Lies feature (in which we expose how little relationship ladymags, like Sarah Palin, have to reality). While the real Vogue bows to the recession with its $300 "Steal" of the Month, Palin could show us how to get a $150,000 wardrobe for free — and how to pick a $700/night hotel, complete with robe and slippers. In lieu of book reviews, she could offer up a bunch of snide remarks about Katie Couric — "the perky one" probably can't read anyway. And for balance, Palin could add some media elite contributors, like Trig-birther Andrew Sullivan and Rebecca Johnson. (Johnson works for the fake America but the real Vogue, and says all Palin wanted to talk about in her much-maligned interview was "drilling for oil" — but what else is there, anyway?) In fact, right after a Jeffrey Steingarten piece on moose-meat, Going Vogue should include a free sample of premium Alaska crude. We hear it gets rid of both wrinkles and endangered wildlife.

Fact Check: Palin's Book Goes Rogue On Some Facts [AP, via Yahoo News]
Palin's Katie Couric Myths [Daily Beast]
Palin's Ego Trip [Daily Beast]

Because, you know what? I, for one, agreed with her way back in the day that the stupid attacks about Trig's supposed parentage were stupid, untrue, unwarranted and needed to stop. In fact, I did it under my own name — not anonymously — and the one blogger who continued to question it (Andrew Sullivan) isn't anonymous either. Plus, the best way to get people to shut the fuck up about something? Quit fucking talking about it. By continuing to flog the fact that "anonymous" (leftie) bloggers were mean to her, she's just trying to garner sympathy and play to her base. In fact, that's one of the reasons I told everyone to shut the fuck up about it months ago!

Anyway, then there's this part:

This is what I've been telling Bristol, before she gets married, is, Bristol, there are definitely gonna be tough parts in marriage. You have to look at those tough times and remember that you have essentially a business contract with this person. You've signed an agreement: You're going to be together.

Wow, what a lovely view of a traditional marriage that is. It's a business contract! No wonder she wants to keep gay people from having it. Thanks, but no thanks, lady. Shut the fuck up.

Sarah Palin: What I've Learned [Esquire]

Earlier: Sarah Palin Rumors: Some People Are Taking The Low Road

I mean, I know we can be sort of mean. First there was mean old "Charleee", asking you about the Bush Doctrine as though you were supposed to know that it was the single largest repudiation of post-nuclear American foreign policy and basically said we'd nuke whomever we felt like, fuck-you-very-much. And then that meanie CBS reporter snuck in a question about the major economic bailout the government had just undertaken and you felt like you had to answer it even though you hadn't yet been told what talking points to parrot yet, it was so off-putting. But, then Sean Hannity rolled over and let you scratch his belly and a little behind his ears, so I thought we were cool now.

Well, and, yes, I know that Keith Olbermann is being a total dick to you, what with donating $100 to charity of every lie that you tell, like it's your fault or something that the campaign staff won't revise the speeches you're giving to take the lies out, but he's not on the road following your campaign. And I'm sure Andrew Sullivan's list of the 12 different lies you've told had to sting, but he's just a blogger and that's not like a real reporter or producer who's going to be standing in a room with you and the President of Afghanistan for less than a minute.

So, it's good that you relented and let that CNN producer witness you talking with Karzai about his son for a whole 40 seconds earlier today. That'll totally show people you're not scared of the press and that you know how to have substantive discussions of U.S. foreign policy with important world leaders, Bush Doctrine questions be damned! I mean, it was really important that the photographer and the TV crew get footage of you talking and having serious conversations with him and Colombian President Uribe even if the entire press corps were utter dicks about insisting that their coverage of you be more than pictures of you looking Vice Presidential! And it was really well done that you got Karzai's handlers to pretend to be the ones objecting to anyone doing anything other than taking pictures — that was a master-stroke, as was your staff's insistence that it was all just one big misunderstanding when they explicitly said that no one that writes anything for a living would be allowed in the room. The press will totally buy that!

Anyway, so, like, buck up, girl! We're really not that bad! You can totally talk to reporters. You hunt moose! You shoot at wolves from airplanes! What's the worst you can do, really? I mean, John McCain's already out threatening Spain and trying to fire people he can't fire and shit. What are you going to do, start a war with Russia? Oh, yeah, right. Well, just stick to talking about your family and how you didn't really want the Bridge to Nowhere and how mean everyone is to you. That's cool. I'm sure you can work that into the answer to just about any question you're asked when you finally let someone ask you a question.

Yours,
Megan

Palin Press Relationship Gets Testy [Politico]
Palin Says She's Ready To Step In As President [Breitbart]
The Palin Protection Continues [Politico]
Sarah Palin On Bush Doctrine: Homina, Homina, Homina [TPM Election Central]
Palin “Disappointed” In “Understandable” AIG Bailout [CBS News]
Excerpts from Palin’s Hannity Interview — Part I [Time]
Olbermann Gives $100 To Charity For Every Palin Lie, $3700 This Week Alone [Huffington Post]
The Twelve Lies Of Sarah Palin [Andrew Sullivan]
Palin Bars, Then Admits Reporters To Meetings [MSNBC]
Palin In The City [NY Times]
McCain Will Not Commit To Meeting Spanish PM [AFP]
McCain Says He Would Fire SEC Chairman [AP]
Palin Hawkish on Russia [Politico]
Did Palin Really Fight The “Bridge To Nowhere”? [The New Republic]
Palin Accuses 'Obama/Biden Democrats' Of Attacking Her Family, But Campaign Can't Name One [Huffington Post]

She goes on with drivel about hearing her baby's heartbeat for the first time, and takes the abortion blogger to task for her "disregard and disgust for pregnancy," and adds that the blogger "certainly does the abortion movement no favors." I don't understand the logic of that. Shouldn't a woman who has a "disregard and disgust" for pregnancy, well…not have a baby?? Does this letter-writer expect to shame the blogger into wanting to be a mother? Then the writer goes on to project her life and fantasies onto the blogger:

If I weren’t so consumed with my desire to bitch slap her, I’d feel nothing but pity. I’d like to fast forward 10 years from now to a point where she might be expecting a baby that she desperately wants and is in love with the moment she holds that pregnancy test in her hands. Will she immediately be avoiding Starbucks and suddenly be drawn to organic versions of her favorite foods like I am?

First of all, I'm entertained by the letter writer's complete bourgie myopia! Because to her, being a pregnant woman is about OMGZ avoiding Starbucks and eating organic! Not, you know, frantically fearing that you're pregnant and don't even have the health insurance that a Starbucks employee is guaranteed. I bet this self-centered jerk doesn't give a hoot about the women who, according to ABC News, are taking off-label drugs or attempting to herbally induce abortions because they either can't afford to pay for a doctor-instituted abortion or are immigrants who don't even know that a medical abortion is a possibility.

The woman ends her letter writing, "This little girl is doing herself no favors in documenting her thoughts at this time in her life. They will be there in all their shameful glory forever, and she will most certainly live to regret it." I think the only thing the abortion blogger would regret is having a baby she didn't want and couldn't provide for. I'd like to fast forward to fifteen or twenty years from now, when this letter writer's unborn baby is a teenage girl, who is pregnant and feels she can't talk to her mother about her options. Maybe this teenager will do some creative Googling and find some solace because she's not the only one with ouchy titties.

My Abortion, Ctd. [The Atlantic]
Some Worry Underground Abortions Are Still a Reality [ABC News]

Earlier: Blogging An Abortion: "Precious, Silver-Tongued, Knocked Up 16 Year Olds Where Are You??"

• "Whether it’s Billy Ayers or Bernadine Dohrn, Tom Hayden or Jane Fonda, or any of the other lesser-knowns, 60s Marxist radicals are lining up behind Obama." [National Review]
• And like check this quote from Francis Fukuyama that acid-dropping borderline ecoterrorist: "It needs to do some symbolic things like, we shouldn't torture people." [Yahoo! News]
• "I haven't sat through a single Obama speech without ideologically wincing at something…So why do I find myself still longing for him to win?" (Wild guess: he is hot.) [Andrew Sullivan]
• And another Obamican meme blowing up the internet now. [Excons.org]
• McCain gave a speech on nukes that was somewhere to the left of Bush and to the right of the Obama/Kissinger (?) side of things and it was high on protesters and low on specifics except that he would "never surrender in Iraq." Oh, Bravo. [Wash Post]

• A Detroit seventh grader named Keiara Bell has gained local notoriety calling out politicians over acting like "second graders." No seriously, aside from that text message scandal, a council member called another a "Shrek." [WSJ]
• JP Morgan says inflation is set to hit its highest rate in 17 years! Easy for them to say as they did not exactly pay an inflated price for Bear Stearns. [WSJ]
• Oh no, America has stopped getting fatter. This could be a terrible sign for numerous economic sectors, from the restaurant industry to the perennially cash-strapped agriculture sector to the entire health care economy, the country's only non-military net job creator in the past ten years…I would predict steady Japan circa 1998-style deflation and a good decade of GDP stagnation, but…yeah, wishful thinking. [NYT]

Hirsi Ali, for her part, blames Islam — and not a lunatic fringe — for 9/11 and would like everyone to renounce this idea there is a fucking God already. Hirsi Ali, from our previous readings, would seem to be kind of high on her own awesome Powers of Intellect, and irritatingly self-promotional about it, but this strikes at the heart of the division between the two women's worldviews.

The writer Paul Berman suggests that the difference between them may be due to the fact that Ms. Manji was raised in the warm, liberal, welcoming precincts of British Columbia, where religion could be a comfort rather than a burden, where pluralism was an assumption, a fact of life. (Ms. Manji was kicked out of her Islamic religious school for asking too many questions, but before that she had been cared for at a Baptist church, and at age 8 even won its Most Promising Christian of the Year award.) Ms. Hirsi Ali's early years, by contrast, consisted of dictatorship, war, patriarchy, genital cutting, confinement and beatings so severe that she once ended up in a hospital with a fractured skull. Ms. Manji offers her own support for Mr. Berman's conjecture: "Had I grown up in a Muslim country, I'd probably be an atheist in my heart."

Muslim Rebel Sisters: At Odds With Islam And Each Other [NY Times]
In Good Faith [NY Times]

MEGAN: I'm pretty sure it's just going to rain the entire month of April.
moe: I'm pretty sure I don't want to have anything to do with this job today.
moe: It's not raining here though.
MEGAN: Well, whatever we get you get, I think, so just give it a few hours. If it doesn't work, I'll drive up there and then it will definitely rain.
moe: Anyway I think we have to talk about John McCain calling his wife a cunt.
moe: Yeah, AGAIN.
MEGAN: Yeah, kinda.
moe: I would rather talk about Chris Hitchens calling Andrew Sullivan a lesbian.
MEGAN: Well, we should parse that for the second.
moe: Okay, commenters: by the news roundup post I am REALLY incapable of anything but reflexive absurdist counterintuitiveness.
MEGAN: Does a man no one in their right mind would want to fuck calling a gay man a lesbian make that an insult? Because, frankly, given the choice of the two of them and my carpet getting munched, it's Sully FTW.
MEGAN: And I've met both of them.
moe: And everyone knows John McCain is a dick, and everyone knows he has a huge temper, and his utterance, while one that I'm sure stung at the time and surprised onlookers, was very much in keeping with that reputation. And being sixteen years ago, and existing as it did as one of millions of moments that make up a marriage, I ...just...did not think it was that big a deal. I mean, it shows his vicious, nasty side, yeah. Am I further offended because the word he used was "cunt"? Not really. He has anger issues. He's insecure. I've seen worse and been called worse. It's fucked up, but seriously, when you talk as much as John McCain, you run out of four letter words. I dunno, I was just utterly ...whatever.
moe: I am insensitive, what can I say.
MEGAN: No, I mean, I guess I agree with part of that. Plus, when combined with trollop? The man was in the Navy, swears like a sailor and OBVIOUSLY he can't deal with losing his hair because he's rocking the combover to this day.
moe: The coldness and the naked insecurity of it was kind of interesting. But the word "cunt"?
moe: Right, also, "trollop"
moe: By "trollop" you're just laughing.
moe: "Cunt" seemed like an afterthought.
MEGAN: That said, if anyone I was dating did that, he wouldn't just have trouble raising his arms above half mast.
MEGAN: Trollop would be fine, though. Cunt would make me seethe.
MEGAN: But I'm sensitive. A guy I was dating in the fall "jokingly" called me a whore in a text message and I went into full-on blind rage.
moe: It's like, "oh crap, my antiquated put-down makes me look older than my thinning hair...fuck you, you...CUNT"
MEGAN: In fact, I wrote a post about it
MEGAN: And cunt won.
MEGAN: As the word a dude should never call you.
MEGAN: But, also, I'm sensitive about my makeup application skills, I think I've mentioned. So between the cunt and the makeup insult, I would probably have cried.
moe: Yeah well...I don't generally date verbal abusers. Though I actually don't think anyone at this point could call me a whore in any way that wasn't ironic. Also, I don't think anyone I have dated has ever been that mad at me, except when we haven't really been dating, which is kind of sad in its own way.
MEGAN: The emotion I most often feel at the end or after a relationship is annoyance. Like, I just get annoyed instead of mad, and that doesn't tend to provoke anger.
moe: Yeah, I dunno. I feel bad, now, calling attention to her misuse of foundation. I do not feel bad, however, using the word "tranny." I dunno. God I have cramps. Okay: so the real crime of that exchange is that if there is truth to the perception that Cindy is some sort of trophy Stepford wife, and John McCain, war hero etc. etc. was just sick of his Stepford wife ragging on him for being an old geezer, and also sick of any number of other things that happened that day, which is, I guess, probably the truth, then yeah, it's a statement that would sting. But...

MEGAN: She did have a lot of foundation on, and for no reason that I could tell. She seems to have otherwise-lovely skin.
moe: Sixteen years later they're still together and she's gone through a lot and she's proud of her country and she wears too much makeup. It's terrible that society does to our women, sure. But sometimes we do it ourselves! Or have a professional do it. I professional applied my makeup the last time I was in a wedding. It was cringe-inducing, so I had to wipe it off and start over.
moe: I hated that woman.
MEGAN: That happened to one of my friends! It was like 1/4 of an inch thick! Her mother talked her into it. I don't like her mother.
moe: Here's the story of how in Israel "makeup artist" is just another code for "mossad"

MEGAN: She was just taking out her own insecurities on you.
MEGAN: Wait, just like John McCain.
MEGAN: I love when I can work something like that back in.
moe: You're good with the segues. I'm trying to figure out a way to work in all those weird online psychological tests Nick Kristof has been pushing.
MEGAN: Oh, yeah, those have been around for ages. We're all racist.
MEGAN: Basically.
MEGAN: We all clutch our purses like Barry's grandma.
moe: I actually couldn't even figure out how to work the first one. And then the second one said I implicitly showed a predisposition for Obama followed by Hillary followed by McCain.
moe: It took me 20 minutes of clicking and feeling like a retard to figure this out.
moe: Sometimes when you know something implicitly
moe: You should just leave it at that.
MEGAN: So, we implicitly like attractive people, have issues with our moms but still love them and mistrust scary old people? Sounds about right.

MEGAN: I'm sure you saw this, but it's now official that young people want old people to vote for Obama because the New York Times wrote about the trend.
moe: Oh, no see, but they advanced the trend: now it's grandchildren influencing these endorsements! Wisconsin governor Jim Doyle finally capitulated to a seven-year-old.

The two adult sons of Governor Doyle, 62, both black and both adopted, spoke to him with fervor about Mr. Obama's vision of a multiracial country. Then Mr. Doyle's young grandson piled on.

"He's a complete Barackomaniac," Mr. Doyle said in a phone interview. "When I asked him why, he said, 'I think he's really going to work hard for us.' I thought, that's it through the eyes of a 7-year-old. 'He'll work hard,' and 'for us.' "

"I'm glad they're interested in something other than their own self-interest and partying."

MEGAN: Well, you know, when they can pay them these days.
moe: Hey speaking of, Tina Brown thinks the election is like a reality show and that Clinton will end up the survivor. Wait, and speaking of Brits, most of them seem to like Obama. John Cleese wants to get a job writing his speeches! And also speaking of Brits, we still haven't talked about Sullivan/Hitchens.
MEGAN: I'm still confused about the icky straight man calling the HIV-infected former barebacking through personal ads gay man a "lesbian."
9:35 AM
moe: Here's the clip.
MEGAN: Wait, what the hell?

MEGAN: I thought the whole POINT of being a lesbian-in-a-bad-way was that you were meaner and more forward than us girlie-girl straight girls.
MEGAN: But it just means you are forgetful?
MEGAN: Or a whiner?
MEGAN: Christopher Hitchens: Still drinking.
moe: Maybe we should petition him to make "bonerkiller" his new miscellaneous put-down. And I know this is only tangentially related to anything, but this piece on how Jeremiah Wright and Barack Obama's cousin Dick Cheney were born the same year was pretty cool, and I meant to link to it, and then I didn't because...Moe Tkacik: Still drinking.
MEGAN: I have to say, I still love articles that point out that Bush and Cheney never served in Vietnam
MEGAN: Also, good for Jeremiah Wright.

moe: Oh god, now weigh in on two things while I go find a more flattering mea culpa picture of Cindy McCain. The Washington Post is officially the best paper in America, and yes, journalism is dead.
MEGAN: I love how CBS is going to cut actual news operations in order to keep paying Katie Couric who nobody likes anyway to anchor a newscast filled with content provided by others.
9:50 AM
MEGAN: Also, the Weingarten story that won? Amazing. There's a little Asian man who plays a Chinese violin in the subway who no one notices but his music is beautiful and haunting and I always give him money and everyone else walks by. Chinese violins are, like, impossible to keep tuned and notoriously difficult to master, and it would make my morning to hear him even when I hated my job.
moe: One thing that's great about the Post is that, you know, they all know how to report stuff there, so if enough people land on good shit one year...a bunch of people you've never heard of can all win Pulitzers! And I say you've never heard of them only in the sense that they've never been personalities, like, on Gawker. And they don't write for the "Most Emailed List" because...the Most Emailed List isn't on the homepage! Sigh...if only "quality journalism" could make any $$$
moe: And yeah, I liked that story a lot. I like most things he does, though.
MEGAN: Oh, and if you haven't read the violinist story Gene won for, it's here.
MEGAN: Yeah, his features are always really good. He gets through the editing process with his voice intact.
moe: Well he is the editor. He used to be Dave Barry's editor at the Miami Herald. I don't think I know that from reading Dave Barry but. Here's something stupid Gene did that I linked to yesterday that no one commented on but you should check it out sometime bc it's funny.
MEGAN: No, if you haunt his chats, he's actually edited! He refers to his editor as Tom the Butcher.
MEGAN: I remember reading that!
moe: Man, I wish Tom would butcher me a little bit.

MOE: Hey I'm sick AGAIN today. I had nightmares all night about how hellish it would be to actually wake up and do Crappy Hour. And in the nightmares Hillary Clinton kept reminding me of what Tina Fey had to say about the Obama campaign. "Don't you respect Tina Fey's opinion? Don't you side with the strong woman? And I had the chills and the sweats and finally relented and agreed to vote for her in Texas.

MEGAN: And I'll bet no one asked you if you wanted another pillow!
Also, I'm sorry you're still sick!
Apparently I'm already addicted to exclamation points!

MOE: Yeah you'd think my lifestyle habits were poor or something!

So did you watch?

MEGAN: Yes, but I caught the midnight replay. I left the house for the initial run and, like, actually talked to an actual human that I could actually see.
It was so annoying.

MOE: I did that too! But I am actually so sick I couldn't partake in the open bar. I actually didn't want to. I met the FUG girls who were having a book party. They're both Obama supporters!

MEGAN: Ooh, the Fug Girls! I'm so jealous! They seem like they're fun. Was Intern George there?
Also, I thought there was a requirement that women in California vote for Hillary?
OMG, did they just show this commercial in New York??

MOE: I know! I was surprised; they went with their First Lady instead of our old one. I do not know who this Intern George person is. But yes they were very nice and fun. I could barely hear them because I"m so congested.And they definitely did not show that commercial.

MEGAN: Someone actually contributed money to make and run commercials about the surveillance law! I guess us DC market people are just lucky.
(I meant on CNN)
Intern George is George Clooney.

MOE: They were totally playing one of those commercials with the songs that get stuck in your head even though you have no idea what the commercial is for; probably a life insurance company.
What's the terror surveillance bill?

MEGAN: That's the warrantless wiretapping bill, the one that Bush won't sign unless it contains retroactive immunity for telephone companies who illegally participated in it.
So Harry "Pussy" Reid passed the version Bush wanted and left it up to Nancy to tell Bush to shove it up his ass.
Which, for once, she did.

MOE: Ah yes.
I think Google knows a lot more about us than the government ever will.
The beauty of the private sector.

MEGAN: And now they have commercials, which apparently they only show in the DC market, buying cheap local cable time.

MOE: Remember when 9/11 happened? Two of those guys has been put on a terror watch list by the CIA because they had been recorded at an Al Qaeda meeting in Jakarta, and yet they entered LAX anyway. Those were the days.

MEGAN: Well, I mean, we're hoping those were the days, which is why we subject ourselves to shoeless security and redick small bottles of things. I am not convinced that it's not 90% luck.

MOE: Okay, so other things besides that boring debate happened last night. Am I right that this was the best part?

"I have been very clear in my denunciation" of Farrakhan's past anti-Semitic remarks, Obama said.
Clinton jumped in to note that, in her 2000 Senate campaign, she had gone to greater lengths to distance herself from people who had made anti-Semitic remarks. "There's a difference between denouncing and rejecting," Clinton said, implying that Obama had not gone far enough. "I just think we've got to be even stronger."

6 minutes
MOE: Interestingly, Andrew Sullivan seems to think it was his worst moment. Anyway, we should probably discuss Sullivan for a bit because he's the one who alerted me to this Newsday piece about Hillary's defense of an accused rapist. And all the commenters were like "Andrew Sullivan hates women that's why he's spreading these lies" so whatever, let's just focus on the Newsday piece. One one hand, Hillary was being a public defender. On the other hand, she seems to have pulled falsehoods from her ass about the victim's — the 12-year-old victim's — history of crying wolf and seeking solace in the arms of older men etc. etc. What say you?

MEGAN: My first thought is: I don't think indigent defendants are normally allowed to make requests about the genders of their court appointed attorneys, and if I had more time I would call my ex the court-appointed criminal defense lawyer and ask. But I'll bet JD Regent knows.

MOE: It's also kind of odd; they talk to the victim, now 46, who is in prison (?) And she says she was raped, she had no history, but she figures Hillary was just doing her job. Also, she had not put two and two together.

MEGAN: My reading of the article says: not stable home life. Plus, being raped 30 years ago, stigma, etc. And she admits to having had sex with a 15 year old minutes before the old guy raped her.
Which didn't help anything.

MOE: Well, as a sixth grader the victim was in the position to get up around midnight, go get liquored up and then hang out at an all-night bowling alley for several hours. Most of us weren't in that position in sixth grade.

MEGAN: With a 15 year old, a 20 year old and a 40 year old. Yes. In the 6th grade I was watching Freddy movies and drinking Coke with my girlfriends during sleepovers. And Melanie, who had taken modeling classes, was teaching us make up and probably curling my hair.
I dunno, this is why my ex and I never talked about whether he defended any rapists. It's an adversarial system. It's required to provide a vigorous defense. It sounds like the prosecutor wimped out, though.

MOE: I think I still liked The Little Mermaid when I was twleve.
Yeah also: everyone seems to have died and a bunch of evidence was washed away in a flood.
It's kind of — heh — a wash

MEGAN: Except for the meth-addled lady. I hope she finds a job and goes back to counseling and shit.

es
MOE: Ugh, yeah, so the victim is now living in a halfway house after stealing a bunch of checks from her boss to buy drugs. She's fucked up and harbors Hillary no ill will. And neither do I, in this case, it's just a sad story about some dregs of society types. Okay, moving on, do we want to discuss how David Duke doesn't really have any issues with Obama? Does it mean Obama is not REALLY BLACK?

MEGAN: No! They just hate white people who support him more than they hate him! Ooooh, Moe, you're in trouble!
Oh, and it's the Jews' fault, naturally.
LOL, it basically all comes down to the fact that they hate Hillary SO MUCH they'd rather have a black President.
I'm wiping away a tear, now.

MOE: Hahaha I wonder why Obama didn't use the white supremacist angle in the little Farakkhan tussle last night:

[U]ltimately he's just another Jew puppet," concludes another Stormfront commenter. "I look at his foreign advisers," adds David Duke. "[They're] Israeli supremacists. He's even got Dennis Ross!"

MEGAN: Man, don't people get, like, sick of blaming the Jews for everything?

MOE: Hahahaha what if they did? A few years and they wouldn't have any issues to speak of. What's this Bill Cunningham shit by the way? Who fucking cares about this guy?

He goes on an anti-Obama rant in praise of McCain, McCain gives a speech saying, "uh, speak for yourself," and Cunningham joins the Coulter Clinton coalition. Jesus Christ.

MEGAN: Oh, that guy. Psycho.
He's like, YOU WILL NOT KEEP ME FROM INSULTING BARRY HUSSEIN AT YOUR RALLIES!!!
HUSSEIN!!! HUSSEIN!!! HE'S MUSLIM!!!

I swear he got some spittle on the camera lens at the end there.
MOE: Oh man, this is an uplifting story.
MEGAN: Kids, don't post pictures of yourself in your undies on the internet and run for office.

MOE: Okay so I'm reading this story about the New York Philharmonic's visit to our favorite Stalinist dictatorship and it's reminding me that yesterday's Crappy Hour got like 600 comments. I was scared to figure out what that was about.
MEGAN: It wasn't about the relative merits of the national anthem or Gershwin, I can tell you that much.
MOE: Well the trip sounds pretty typically disturbing. Their combination of deeply impoverished and thoroughly brainwashed always got to me.

MEGAN: I mean, I think when you're that poor and that hungry, political rights are sort of secondary.

MOE: Ehhhh, there are political rights and freedoms and then there's, you know, basic freedom of thought and like, perception of reality and the presence of dynamism. Also it's so fucking cold. I'm thinking North Korea is probably the worst place in the world.

MEGAN: It definitely seems really miserable from over here. But maybe there are some places in Africa that are worse? I'm not sure better weather can make up for marauding machete-wielding mutilating mobs and rape squads and stuff — though, I guess that could be going on in North Korea and we wouldn't know.

MOE: That's true; I don't think they're into genital mutilation either. Maybe we should do a poll.

MEGAN: I hear the weather really does suck in North Korea, though.