Actress Zoe Saldana was next to Nigel, wearing something shimmery. They were inundated by photographers and video cameras. I'd arrived at 2:45 for the 3pm show; it was 3:35 before two men in black t-shirts and black pants peeled back the protective plastic covering on the mirrored runway. Then: Darkness. The show started. Brazilian music, white bikinis, red retro one-pieces. Lots of red and white, then some green neutrals. Oh, and black models! I especially liked one white suit with a belt of bling; the hideous brown pirate sleeved cover-up that came later, not so much. In any case, if you're the beachy sort who has a swimsuit wardrobe, this show is for you. Gallery below.

Rosa Cha:

Later that night, it was still pouring like crazy, but I was back in midtown for the Patricia Field show at the Edison Ballroom on 47th street. Her line is designed by David Dalrymple, and the scene in the ballroom was less stuffy fashion show and more fabulous downtown party. The music was loud, there was an open bar, and the crowd! It was a mix of club types, celebs and drag queens.
Andre J was there!
Also: The Legendary Lady Bunny! Seen here with an absolutely shocked Vanessa Williams. Also in attendance from Ugly Betty: Ana Ortiz and Judith Light. Project Runway's Jack Mackenroth was in the front row, across from Patricia Field herself, who was never without a drink in her hand.

I arrived at 8:45 for a 9:00 PM show and at ten minutes after 10:00, I thought it would never start. Then Becki Newton, aka Ugly Betty's Amanda walked in and sat next to Jack Mackenroth, and the show started. While the clothes were hit and miss, the presentation — each model headed to a "destination" on stage: A cruise ship, a disco, a funeral, a car race — was pretty cool. Oh, and black models! Gallery below.

David Dalrymple For Patricia Field:

Sunday morning at 11:30 AM, I was back at the Tent for the Tracy Reese show, but there were protesters outside shouting, "DKNY has got to go!" It was sort of early for blood-splattered bunny suits, but I took a picture anyway.

Tracy Reese is one of the few black designers at New York Fashion Week. Sitting in the first seat in the first row — his seat number was A:1:1 — was Andre Leon Talley. Also in the front row: Miss Jay from America's Next Top Model, wearing jeans with elaborately stitched back pockets, Fashion Week prez Fern Mallis, Sanaa Lathan, and some people I couldn't see from where I was sitting, boo. Okay, the clothes: Dreamy, romantic, soft, with sparkle and beading. The trench coats were beautiful, in supersoft-looking fabrics, and there were some dresses with delicate fabric flowers or frothy appliqués that just looked heavenly. Looking at the pictures later, not everything looks as good as it did in person, but I liked the overall feel and mood.

Tracy Reese:

All in all, despite the weather, it was a typical fashion week experience: Lots of standing around waiting, some clothes, some booze, some celebrities. I don't know how the rest of the designers are faring, but I saw diverse runways at all three shows — Tracy Reese has always used Asian, black and white models. We'll see if this first weekend was a sign of things to come or if it all goes downhill from here.

There were shoes everywhere. Literally everywhere. The hired help was encouraging you to try them on.

Moe kicked off her Marxist-issue flats and tried on some gold pumps.

They looked good.

This young lady encouraged me to try on the mules she was wearing. I told her I wore a 9. "You should go one size down, it looks better," she said.

Maybe it looked good, but it did not feel good. By the by, this pic is fuzzy because Moe has no focus. Kidding!

Yeah, I need a bigger size. Please do not look at my cracked heels.

This is Theo from the Lunachicks (now of Theo and the SkyScrapers) trying on the pumps. The woman assisting her had on the cutest little retro swimsuit.

Theo is kind of gorgeous.

The pumps also come in electric blue.

There are also flat sandals which maybe would hurt less.

And glittery ballet slippers.

We ran into Claw Money. Moe asked about her eyeliner and Ms. Money informed us that it was Wet N Wild. "That seems appropriate," Moe nodded.

OMG Andre J! He was willowy and gorgeous, making me feel like a large troll next to him. You may not be able to tell, but I was thrilled to be in his presence. Moe asked him what size shoe he wears and he was like "Honey!" with a raised eyebrow that meant he would never tell. Moe said, "Well, at least they have it." And he said, "Exactly. I love you."

He embraced me.

Pat Field was in the center of this clusterfuck.

Please note the crystal-covered kitty attached to this gentleman's shoulder.

The legendary KennyKenny worked the door.

Patrick McDonald. He's always in the New York Times.

You can't see it in this photo, but this woman had dark, thick, bushy, luxurious armpit hair which she pretended to lick for some guy filming.

This is what party people eat.

The after-party was at Pat Field's house down the block. I want to live here so badly. Like, on a scale of 1-10, my desire is hovering around 37 million.

Yes, it does have a bar.

This is Pat Field's Emmy!

There was sparkling vodka at the party. Sparkling. Vodka. WTF.

These girls were cute and had cute accents. We've seen this shirt before.

I don't know where to begin. So many things, starting with the knee-high boots.

Patricia Field is so awesome. Sure, she's the woman responsible for the damn flowers Carrie always wore. But she's also a gay woman of a certain age with Manic Panic hair and a fierce career. I wish Sex And The City were about her and her glam tranny friends instead. That would be amazing.

As we left, Moe and I found an abandoned wheelchair on the street. We could have left it there, or we could have drunkenly pushed each other home. What do you think we did?

Patricia Field For Payless [Payless Shoesource]

Alpha Kitty [YouTube]

A Cover Girl Who's Simply Himself [NY Times]

André is psyched to be alive! Who could blame him?

Who has the better legs? Be honest with yourself.

This story was shot by Bruce Weber, so naturally there are underaged kids. Carolyn Murphy, 32, nuzzles up to a bunch of youths, trying to choose one. Though the dude with the large hair on the left is pleading his case, Carolyn's got one hand going for the chest of a little girl and the other hand in the skater boi's crotch.

Yeah, she's made her choice.

"Let's act out the Mary Kay Letourneau story."