[New York, November 24. Image via INF]

• Don't Be Afraid To Look Stupid The funniest women in comedy have the ability to be as graceless as humanly possible. Lucille Ball, perhaps the Queen of Physical Comedy, was able to get around her glamour girl looks and transform herself into a humor machine, unafraid to appear awkward or silly or unattractive if it meant that the laughs were coming in. Lucy's humor comes from her humanity; she's a mess, like the rest of us, she's a goof, like everyone else. Molly Shannon embraced this and created some of SNL's best female characters; Mary Catherine Gallagher, the nervous schoolgirl with a tendency to crash through folding tables, and my personal favorite, Sally O'Malley, a 50-year-old woman who loves herself and her age beyond all things.

• Don't Get Stuck In The Mom/Girlfriend Zone The women of SNL are often relegated to playing the bewildered girlfriend, confused waitress, or stunned mother to a male lead's wackadoo character. Playing the straight man isn't the curse it might seem to be; there's a way to play it incredibly straight while still being completely hilarious. The trick is to find a balance, as Ana Gasteyer and Molly Shannon did with their "Delicious Dish" NPR characters:

• Have At Least One Good Impression In Your Arsenal If you can mock just ONE celebrity, and mock them well, you're pretty much guaranteed some screen time on SNL. Of course, it helps if the celebrity is all over the news; dusting off your Monica Lewinsky impression in 2008 isn't going to get you anywhere. Maya Rudolph was able to create insane, overblown versions of popular celebrities, including Donatella Versace, Beyonce, and of course, Whitney Houston:

• Create Your Signature Character The men of SNL are often remembered fondly for their signature characters; Mike Myers as Linda Richman, Dana Carvey as the Church Lady, and Phil Hartman as Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer. But the ladies of SNL have also created some legendary characters over the years, including Gilda Radner's Roseanne Roseannadanna and Emily Litella, Julia Sweeney's Pat, and Cheri Oteri's Collette Reardon. Kristin Wiig is currently taking up this challenge by creating such characters as the Target Lady and Penelope, while Rachel Dratch added her own character to this list with the introduction of Debbie Downer, a character that has transcended SNL and has now become a standard pop-culture reference.

• When In Doubt, Think Of Tina There is perhaps no better role model for the incoming women of SNL then Tina Fey, the woman who added to the show in every possible way, leading the writing team, anchoring Weekend Update, participating in several sketches, and creating a female-friendly environment that allowed women like Poehler, Dratch, and Rudolph to display their skills alongside their male co-stars. Also? Without Tina, there'd be no tribute to Mom Jeans:

• Work Together For a final burst of inspiration, here's a clip of some of your past and present castmates, working together to create one of the most insane, awesome SNL commercial parodies of all time. Good luck, ladies. We will all be rooting for you.

Two New Comedians Join The Cast Of 'SNL' [MSNBC]

Smart Girls At The Party: The Writer-Cameron [ON Networks]

• Oprah asked Jennifer Aniston about calling Angelina's behavior "uncool." Jen said she was merely responding to the reporter's question. "I basically just answered it as honestly as I could." Plus, did you know that her flick, Marley And Me, is opening the same day as Brad Pitt's The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button? [People]
• Brad Pitt called Jen and cut her a slice of "shut it" cake. [TMZ]
• Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson are heading to Paris, where they'll get engaged, says a spy. "After spending weeks discussing rings, they want to visit two leading jewellers there with their finalised design." OMG please do it at the top of the Eiffel Tower? Please? [Mirror]
• Prince Harry on his hair: "I'm not ginger. I'm auburn, that's what I've been told." Some of us would beg to differ, dear. [Telegraph]
• Oh God: Sarah Palin on Desperate Housewives? [Page Six]
• Madonna told a friend that A-Rod "has the heart of a poet trapped inside an insanely gorgeous body." Vom. [Page Six]

• Miley Cyrus says she'd love for Sasha and Malia Obama to come to the set of Hannah Montana: "I know they have a lot going on, but I think for them to come and hang out with normal kids would be fun." Cuz having your own TV show is like, so normal. Way more normal than having a dad in politics! [E!]
• Three Amy Winehouse fans buzzed her apartment, found her to be at home and had a lovely conversation with her through the intercom. She asked them for the spelling of their names and then signed photos for them. Watch the video just to hear the girls adorable Liverpudlian accents! [TMZ]
• Whoa. George Clooney may come back to ER for the finale? Yeah. Right. [E!]
• Goodbye, Lipstick Jungle and My Own Worst Enemy! NBC has canceled you, and you will live on in TV heaven. [E!]
• Mariah Carey went to London for three days and brought 20 pieces of luggage: Business as usual. [MSNBC]
• Mariah Carey says she goes over the top at Christmas and has a bedroom in her Aspen home made to look like the North Pole. What's cooler than cool? [The Sun]
• Here's how Mariah celebrates the holidays with her friends: "We go in the hot tub in our Christmas bikinis, then roll in the fresh snow and jump back in the tub." Her Christmas outfit is "a red bikini with a Santa hat." [Page Six]
• '90s boyband Boyzone got into a drunken brawl with Rihanna's band in Sydney and security had to break it up. When did pop get so rock and roll? [News.com.au]
• Speaking of Boyzone, they've got a gay couple in their new video. [BBC News]
• As for Rihanna, she canceled a concert in Indonesia after a travel advisory was issued. [Yahoo News]
• Click to see a snippet of Rihanna's new video, the one with Justin Timberlake! [Concrete Loop]
• Will Arnett on his new baby with Amy Poehler: "He's loving being a baby right now. He's thinking about smiling. He's trying to decide if he's ready or not." [People]
• If you'd like to see a picture of Clay Aiken, his egg donor and his baby, click away. [Perez Hilton]
• Some gay rights groups are thinking about boycotting the Sundance Film Festival in an effort to protest the Mormon Church and hurt Utah's business. But is affecting Robert Redford's celeb-studded film fest the right way to go? "Sundance was founded on the idea of championing diversity and freedom of expression," says a spokesman. "It would be a grave disappointment to us if our festival were to be singled out for a boycott." [Independent]
• Ed Norton's documentary about Barack Obama, or as one commenter suggested, "Barackumentary," is drawing wide interest. A lawyer repping the film says: "We’ve had an enormous number of incoming calls from territories all over the world." It should hit HBO next spring. [NY Times]
• Bob Saget approves of Mary-Kate and Ashley's boyfriends.
  "I approve of anyone that makes my friends happy, and they're my friends," he says. What he meant was: "I am not their actual father, I just played their dad on TV, get over it." [People]
• The former American Idol contestant found dead in an apparent suicide near Paula Abdul's home had been causing "a disturbance" there for several years, the police say. [People]
• Read more about Paula Goodspeed, one of the "delusionally bad performers" from American Idol, here. Was she ridiculed when she was clearly mentally unstable? [Washington Post]
• Anne Hathaway's ex, Raffaello Follieri, is not having fun in jail in Brooklyn. He says there are "unspeakably harsh conditions" and "unspeakably unsanitary" toilet and shower facilities and an "intolerable" stench. Rats "roam freely" and there is "excrement in the shower." [The Smoking Gun]
• Baz Luhrmann answers questions about Australia, which Oprah and her audience saw and LOVED. The film is getting compared to Gone With The Wind and Luhrmann says: Gone with the Wind is more than a movie; it's an icon, you know? So it's always scary to make that comparison. But in the same way that Gone with the Wind has a passionate love story that is played out on the canvases of a country's landscape and historical events, this movie has that about it." [LA Times]
• Luhrmann also says the rumors that he's had to reshoot the ending are "absurd." [Page Six]
• What the world needs now: A sequel to Meet The Fockers, with Ben Stiller and Bobby DeNiro. [Fox News]
• Carmen Electra will appear in an eight-page spread pictorial in the January 2009 issue of Playboy. Snooze. [Daily Express]
• What's this? Billy Corgan ranting about James Iha on stage? [Rolling Stone]
• Julia Stiles' mom just opened a home furnishings store in New York's Tribeca neighborhood. [Page Six]
• James Bond's Lotus from The Spy Who Loved Me is expected to fetch up to £120,000 at auction next month. It sorta looks like a DeLorean… [The Star]
• Jamie Oliver will not stop swearing on his TV show, where he uses the F word repeatedly, when he's angry about pork farms and stuff. [Mirror]
• Willam Shatner's moving his online feud with George Takei to a TV show on the Biography Channel. Leave George alone! [MSNBC]
• Hmm, George Takei is on I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here? And no one met him at the airport when he flew to Brisbane. Boo. [Mirror]
• Rob Corddry and his wife welcomed a second child on Wednesday: A daughter named Marlo Stevenson Corddry. [People]
• A woman has been placed on three years of probation following her guilty plea to a misdemeanor charge of stalking actress Sandra Bullock. [Yahoo News]
• "My daddy said that I should wear it up and put it in a 'Get your hair as high and close to Jesus as possible' type hairdo. I said, 'Daddy, I don’t think I can get it any higher, but I did my best.'" — Miley Cyrus on her hair at the Country Music Awards. [E!]
• "I love Monopoly by the fire on Christmas Day." — Sienna Miller. [WWD]
• "In the future, if a gay person in California wants to get hitched, he'll have to do it the way God intended, to Liza Minnelli." — Stephen Colbert on The Colbert Report. [Page Six]
• "I've had a hair transplant. Because I have got a very strange shaped head. It's very pointy. And I don't like wearing wigs." — John Cleese. [Telegraph]
• "My insomnia started in my mid-20s. It got to the point where my immune system would give out. It affected my concentration level and being able to perform on the job." — Debi Mazar, who is promoting a web site for insomnia sufferers. [Daily Express]
• "I don’t think about it much because I don’t plan to keep acting very long. I’m ready to do a few things now and fade away and get ready to be a grandma one day. So I’m not so worried that I want to keep this pace up and try to be something and be a celebrity and be a successful actress forever. I think it’s nice, I’ve had a time to tell stories and be able to be successful enough to tell the ones I want to tell, and to earn some money at the same time is great. But everything comes in seasons and, you know, I hopefully won’t be needing to do that later in my life in any way." — Angelina Jolie's answer to the question of whether losing her looks would cut her career short. [The Sun]
• "I moved to California and my mom moved with me when I became a star. If we were still in Chicago she wouldn't have had that done. I've been going through anguish thinking about it. I have been so lonely." — Kanye West, on his mother's death after having plastic surgery. [Mirror]

When I heard about the straight to DVD treatment, my first instinct was to cry sexism. I assumed that movie studios were not going to release the film because even after the moderate success of Baby Mama, they believe a woman-led comedy will not sell. But then I thought about it some more, and had another revelation: maybe I'm the one being sexist.

I was raging to a friend about Spring Breakdown not getting a proper release, and he said, "Maybe it's just not very good." That floored me. Maybe it's just. Not. Very. Good. That made me remember a comment made in the post I did about the Bride Wars trailer. If you'll recall, I found the trailer played to all the worst Bridezilla-ish stereotypes, and to that a commenter made some very good points, but then also a very bad one. "It might have gotten dumbed down and crappified, but there might actually be a good movie hiding behind the obnoxious trailer. Wouldn't be the first time. And, like Baby Mama, just the fact that it's a big budget comedy starring 2 women is a big big deal," the commenter argued. I was nodding my head in agreement, until this part: "Hopefully in a few years we'll have tons of good, bad, and mediocre female-driven comedies, but for now don't be so quick to shit on a movie written by, produced by, and starring women."

The idea that we should judge comedies written by, produced by, and starring women by a different rubric than comedies created by men is the worst kind of sexism — it's the sexism of diminished expectations.

Melissa hasn't seen Spring Breakdown, but she's not positive it's a stinker, either, by anyone's rubric. Here's what she had to say:

It's been done forever and I thought it was supposed to come out last spring around spring break which would have been perfect. So the fact that it's been sitting on the shelf for a while is not good news. Many movies, especially women's films have difficulty breaking into the market because there are just not enough theatres so even getting a DVD release is good for some people. This year films by Michelle Pfeiffer (the Amy Heckerling film- I Could Never Be Your Woman) and films that starred Meg Ryan and Diane Keaton have been dumped to DVD.

But those were smaller films. Spring Breakdown is from Warner Brothers which only really knows how to release guy centric blockbusters. I think that the could release it and still make $20 [million] because its a comedy and its got Amy who is almost as big a Tina now. I'm sure there are many political issues that I know nothing about and I don't know if the film is a piece of crap. Baby Mama was good, not great, in my book but made money (and would make so much more now).

With women's films you are screwed either way, first you don't want to release a bad movie starring and about women, especially a comedy because there are so few of those. I can just see the Judd Apatow fraternity rolling their eyes at a bad women's comedy. Why give Hollywood more ammunition to think we aren't a market?

But we don't know if it is bad. I see comedies differently than my male counterparts. Maybe I would think it was funny even though the suits at Warners or the test audiences in Las Vegas or some other place didn't. Who knows?

Melissa also notes that Bride Wars was not written and directed by women — it had women as co-writers (it was directed by Gary Winick and written by Casey Wilson, June Diane Raphael and Greg DePaul). However, she also thinks there should be room for the crappy chick flicks alongside the female-driven comedies and dramas. "We need all kinds of women's movies, just like we get all types of men's movies," Melissa stresses. "I just wish we had more good scripts and more opportunities to see women on screen. Is that too much to ask for in 2008?" No, no it's not.

Spring Breakdown [IMDB]
Women & Hollywood

Earlier: Bride Wars An Insult To Women, Brain Cells
The Stepfordization Of Hollywood's Comely Comediennes

• Jennifer Aniston had dinner with Gerard Butler at L.A.'s Tower Bar — days after eating there with John Mayer. Don't hate the player, hate the game. [Page Six]
• Amy Winehouse was in the hospital last night, being checked out for a chest infection. Is it related to the emphysema she was diagnosed with in June? [Mirror]
• Amy missed an appointment to talk to cops about punching a fan; it will be rescheduled. [TMZ]
• Although this report says Amy could get arrested, and that she's doing so many drugs she's totally out of it. [The Sun]
• Jennifer Hudson's sister, Julia Balfour, is begging for her son to be returned safely. He disappeared after a shooting which killed her mother and brother. At a news conference on Saturday night, she said: "All I ask, I don't care who you are, just let my baby go, please. I just want my son." [CNN]

• Jennifer Hudson showed up to officially identify the bodies of her mother and brother yesterday. [TMZ]
• Cops say there was "trouble in the marriage" between the suspect, William Balfour, and his wife, Julia. William is in police custody. [TMZ]
• Barack Obama, who also calls Chicago his hometown, says he and Michelle are "heartbroken" to hear of Jennifer Hudson's tragedy and offer "thoughts and prayers." [People]
• America's Most Wanted plans to help in the search for Jennifer Hudson's nephew. [ET]
• Jennifer Hudson has offered a $100,000 reward for her nephew's safe return. [AP]
• Baby-wipes enthusiast Terrence Howard allegedly punched composed Tex Allen during a rehearsal for Cat On A Hot Tin Roof in January. Allen is suing for $5 million. [UPI]
• A source says Lindsay Lohan is not planning on coming out of the closet, because she's not a lesbian: She still loves men. "She has been telling everyone over and over that she’s still into guys," a "friend" says. "She keeps saying if anything went wrong with Sam she would date a guy next. She even flirts with guys when they go out." [NY Daily News]
• Kate Hudson had a Halloween party! Courteney Cox came as a witch. David Arquette was a wizard. Cindy Crawford was Amy Winehouse. Isla Fisher was a princess; Sacha Baron Cohen was a cow. Click for pictures! [Daily Mail]
• Miley Cyrus is living with her boyfriend Justin Gaston, don't you know? A source says: "Billy Ray wasn't born yesterday. He figures the safest path to take is to keep Miley and Justin on a short leash — and under the same roof." Just imagine all the sneaking around going on. [UPI]
• Mama mia: Victoria Beckham's been offered millions to host a documentary about husband David moving to AC Milan. Remember the one she did about moving to L.A.? It would be similar, but "more polished." [Mirror]
• David Beckham was speeding around Hollywood in his Porsche and got stopped by the cops. He flashed a smile and got a talking to instead of a ticket. [The Sun]
• David Beckham says even though he's being loaned to AC Milan, he will stay with his L.A. team. "At the end of the day, my commitment is still to the Galaxy and that's not changed," he explains. "But I've been given a chance to join up with one of the biggest clubs in the world, so I'm going to do that." [AP]
• Madonna: In "full meltdown mode"? [MSNBC]
• Madonna plans to gather all of the items she received from Guy Ritchie: photos, gifts and letters — and scan them before burying them. Yeah, she's gong to bury them. In the ground. "It will be a little bit like a funeral as she lays that part of her life to rest," a source spills. [NY Post]
• The latest is that Madonna and Guy are fighting over the household staff, with each demanding that the employees testify against the other. [Daily Mail]
• Guy will visit the kids next month but there's "no way" Madonna will be there when they see each other. [Mirror]
• Did Guy try to turn Madonna into an English housewife? [Mirror]
• Did Guy And Madonna's marriage end when she started scheduling sex around her gym workouts? [Daily Mail]
• Madonna and the kids were seen leaving the Kabbalah center in New York over the weekend. Lourdes was wearing a Barack Obama T-shirt. [The Sun]
• Yay, Amy Poehler had a baby boy named Archie Arnett! Boo, Amy won't be on SNL ever again. [AP]
• Slash: Working on a "star-studded" solo album! [Reuters]
• Jerry Lewis was on Australian TV when a reporter asked him about cricket. "Oh, cricket? It's a fag game. What are you, nuts?" Lewis replied. It's been a year since he used the same gay slur on his telethon. What's his problem? [AP]
• Check out this picture of Beyoncé as Sasha Fierce: Flexible! [Concrete Loop]
• Zack And Miri Make A Porno: Not playing in Salt Lake City, Utah. Too "raunchy." But! You can totally see Saw V there. [Page Six]
• Thieves hit the set of Prison Break! Cash, credit cards, documents and a computer were stolen from trailers. The robbers cleaned out $25,000 from Jodi Lyn O’Keefe's checking account and charged $14,000 on her credit cards, right on the heels of her finding out she's being written out of the show. The thieves hit Dom Purcell's credit cards as well. [The Sun]
• Celebs who live in Greenwich Village, New York, are being targeted by "trash-trollers." Someone's going through the garbage and discovering secrets in the trashcans of people like Matthew Broderick and Sarah Jessica Parker, Liv Tyler, Charlie Rose and Graydon Carter. It's mostly prescription receipts. [Page Six]
• Elle Macpherson's new man is a convicted drug trafficker. He's reformed, though. [Daily Mail]
• OMG: Sienna MIller and Jude Law almost ran into each other in London. [Mirror]
• A new book alleges that Heath Ledger was bipolar. [Mirror]
• Look for Michelle Obama to be hanging out with Jay Leno on The Tonight Show this evening! [USA Today]
• John Malkovich, who has lived in France for 10 years, is in the midst of a tax dispute. He's refusing to hand over the cash and there will be a trial. [Daily Express]
• Even though she was seen cuddling up with a hot hot model, Kylie Minogue says she does not have a man. She's free and single! [The Sun]
• Prince Harry wants to start the full Army Air Corps program and be a helicopter pilot. The failure rate is high, but Harry has passed an initial aptitude test. Fly, Harry, fly. [BBC News]
• Katie "Jordan" Price and husband Peter Andre are holding crisis talks about the future of their marriage. Stay tuned. [Mirror]
• Mariah Carey will appear on UK show The X Factor. [The Sun]
• Alvin and the Chipmunks: releasing an album of covers for theur 50th anniversary. Led Zeppelin's "Rock and Roll," Bon Jovi's "Livin' on a Prayer," Bob Marley's "Three Little Birds." Migraine meds not included. [Reuters]
• Phil Spector talks shit about the Beatles. [Mirror]
• A blonde teenager who was "wooed and bedded" by James Blunt — and then caught the singer in bed with another woman — says: "I just want people to know exactly what type of person he is. Everything he says in his songs is bullshit." [News.com.au]
• Peter Cook is not giving teen mistress Diana Bianchi any cash, because her lawyers badmouthed him? [TMZ]
• Dave Grohl and wife: Expecting baby #2. [People]
• Former Grateful Dead keyboardist, Mel Saunders, has died. Harold "Hal" Kant, the lawyer who represented the Grateful Dead for more than 30 years, has also died. [AP, UPI]
• No man has won more Emmys for performance than actor and social activist Ed Asner, but there has never been a biography of his life — and there probably never will be. [Yahoo News]
• The title track from Axl Rose's Chinese Democracy was actually released to radio last week. The album will be released on November 24. It's been 17 years since a Guns N'Roses album came out. [Guardian]
• These celebrity trading cards, PopCardz, sound lame. [AP]
• "I just like sitting and watching people. I love seeing people having fun. Everyone over in L.A. is too cool for it. That’s the problem." — from "A Night Out With Lukas Haas." [NY Times]
• "I had the fat removed from under my chin. That's why I wear the goatee because it covers the scar. If I went for laser treatment, I could get rid of it, but I thought, fuck it, I'll wear a goatee. My nose, that was straightened. Then, with the eyes, they took the heaviness out of the lids." — Tom Jones, detailing his plastic surgery. [Mirror]
• "I hadn't heard that Joe the Plumber dropped my name. I'm honored to be in the little passion play, to be an extra." — Matt Damon. [USA Today]
• "A legend is someone who has died… I used to drag people up on stage, whip them and pretend to fuck them in the rear. You can’t get more intimidating than that. But I’m honest about it, so the men who go out with me know I’m going to be more macho than them. My husband used to shout at my mother, 'What is wrong with your daughter? I'm married to a man.' I'm not like a normal woman, that’s for sure." — Grace Jones. [Times of London]
• "Oh, there's no squabble [between me and Tina Turner]. The people at USA Today just grossly exaggerated that I was fuming. That's ludicrous. I've always appreciated Ms. Turner and she just kind of overstepped herself and chose to speak on my ego when I really thought she was being more descriptive of herself. Mmm-hmm. Particularly in view of the fact that she doesn't even know me." — Aretha Franklin. [Washington Post]
• "I definitely regret all the things I said about Samantha [Ronson]. I’m a Christian. I should not pass judgment on anyone. In the past, I felt that the best way to get to [Lindsay] was to speak out publicly, and it was the wrong choice. Family matters should be kept private. I’ve learned that now." — Michael Lohan. [NY Magazine]
• "I put on a significant amount for Body Of Lies and I really enjoyed that. When I got that phone call it was just one of those wonderful moments where you turn to your wife and say, 'Baby I'm really sorry but I gotta eat.' I loved it." — Russell Crowe. [Daily Express]
• "It's not all about singing. Being the Queen is not all about singing and being a diva is not all about singing. It has much to do with your service to people. And your social contributions to your community and your civic contributions as well. I contribute to the food banks in Detroit, and the churches. And that kind of thing." — Aretha Franklin. [Washington Post]

For one, as the New York Times noted, this was SNL's top rated show in 14 years, so tons of Americans tuned in and most probably didn't even do so to watch her fall flat. My question was, and it was echoed by the Times: what was the point? It's not like her liability is not being likeable enough.

Ms. Palin has already shown her lighter side to the public. The one thing nobody has accused her of is being too stiff and sober-minded.

And yet on the very weekend that former Secretary of State Colin L. Powell endorsed Mr. Obama on NBC’s Meet the Press and cited Ms. Palin’s selection as a reason, and Senator McCain told Chris Wallace on “Fox News Sunday” that she was a “direct counterpoint to the liberal feminist agenda for America,” Ms. Palin joked about her nickname, “Caribou Barbie.”

As Republicans argue over whether Ms. Palin is a drag on the ticket or the life of the party, Ms. Palin on Saturday presented herself as a palate cleanser, or halftime show, for Democrats and Republicans alike.

But Troy Patterson at Slate hits the nail on the head in terms of what I thought when I saw it, hungover on Sunday morning like a Real American(TM). How could an entire team of writers not manage to come up with (or coax her into saying) something funny?

The whole point of Sarah Palin's going on Saturday Night Live was the going itself. All she was supposed to do was to play along. When Poehler made her out as a gangsta rousing a crowd — "All the mavericks in the house put your hands up" - Palin needed only to dull whatever the edge the assault might have had by putting her arms in the air and waving them very carefully.

When I watched it, I was disappointed that not only did Sarah Palin not even to manage to pull off a laugh line about the most laughable Baldwin brother — Stephen — but neither side made much of an effort to make it worth having her on at all. Like in the campaign itself, she was basically just a prop for other people's ideas and conceptions — or, as Salon's Vincent Rossmeier put it "Palin performed the same role she does on the campaign: Nod, pose and stay silent when asked." I think that's probably a little unfair, given that she is the designated attack-lipsticked-pitbull these days, but I think her role on SNL was arguably similar in that she is and was asked to play a role, and to stand in for other things.

The only glowing review came, of course, from the conservative, Rupert Murdoch-owned New York Post, who thought her opening sketch bitching about how her press conference lacked verisimilitude was hi-lar-i-ous. I thought, really? This old cliché? Ooh, and let's get some "mistaken identity" going on in there, that's totally realistic — though, I thought Alec Baldwin gave such a shitty performance that he had to be trying to stall the sketch, protestations of how the American people weren't going to vote for her because of it aside.

Did she really prove anything? I mean, great, she can take a gentle ribbing (and use it to raise a little money, according to The New Republic), but she definitely didn't have to smile and laugh along when actually watching some serious satire of herself. The women with the sense of humor (and the ability to smile while getting dicked over by their boss) were Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. The most I could say for Sarah Palin is: at least she had rhythm. And she got to hug Josh Brolin. Of course, I don't vote for people based on how adequately they can read mildly amusing quips off a teleprompter — but if Alec Baldwin thinks people don't, then he really ought to pay a little more attention to politics.

Oh, and to answer my own question: if they answer is, it seems, yes, can she please do a fucking press conference already?

The Rap On Palin [Salon]
Sarah Palin's Favorability Ratings Increase Among All Parties After Appearance on Saturday Night Live [PR Newswire]
Palin on SNL: What Did You Expect? [Huffington Post]
On ‘SNL’ It’s the Real Sarah Palin, Looking Like a Real Entertainer [New York Times]
Live From Wasilla... [Slate]
Palin Proves She's E-Quipped For 'SNL' [New York Post]
Palin Raising Cash From SNL Gig [The New Republic]

If you're not in the US, you can watch the clip here.

Crazy McCain Lady [NBC]

Related: Woman Says Mom Who Smeared Obama Menaced [UPI]

[Videogum]

Sarah Palin: If She's Not Ready To Debate Can She Be Ready To Lead?

• Barneys Creative Director Simon Doonan and designer Jonathan Adler were wed yesterday at City Hall in San Francisco! This article states that they "sealed the union with a spirited sprint down the glorious grand staircase." Mr. Doonan wore a Liberty print shirt, Barneys Co-op jeans, a Prada V-neck and a Thom Browne velvet jacket. Mr. Adler wore Barneys Co-op jeans, V-neck, a Fred Perry sweater, and Adidas sneakers. [SFGate, Photo by Thor Swift]
• If Prop. 8 passes in California, "it would be the first time in American history that an existing minority right would be taken away by the vote of a majority." The Christian conservatives are ahead, in terms of fundraising. Karen Ocamb's article indicates that Ellen DeGeneres, Rosie O’Donnell, Sir Elton John and Melissa Etheridge have not donated to the cause to fight Prop 8, according to the California Secretary of State’s Campaign Finance website. Ocamb writes: "While their visibility as openly LGBT celebrities and entertainment power players is important, their financial absence from the specific fight to save the fundamental right of same-sex couples to marry is hurting." [In L.A. Magazine]
• Katie Holmes made her Broadway debut in All My Sons last night and Tom Cruise loved it. "It was extraordinary," he says. [Yahoo News]

• Heidi Klum is freaking out about hosting the Emmys on Sunday. She says: "I get nervous when so many people are looking at me. It’s live and you go on stage and no one asks questions. To go out and just talk is terrifying." Heidi, when it doubt, say "deezigners." Everyone loves that! [The Sun]
• BREAKING: Ivana Trump flew coach. [Page Six]
• Pink's song about heartbreak, "So What," is her first No.1 song on Billboard's Hot 100. She says the track is not entirely autobiographical, but the opening line is, "I guess I just lost my husband." (Watch the video!) [Yahoo News]
• Nicole Kidman speaks about her baby and her hubby! She says: "To be given the blessing of a child at this stage of my life was wonderful." She also claims she and Keith can't stand to be away from each other. "We start to hurt after seven days. I've never wanted to live my life apart from the person I love. If you're going to be with someone, you're with them, you’re committed to them. I'm not sort of flitting around. If I fall, I fall — that's it. We gently fell into each other. We were two lonely people who went, 'Ah, there you are.'" [The Sun]
• After shooting 30 Rock with Oprah, Tina Fey says: "I would like to announce that we are officially best friends." [Chicago Tribune]
• You know how Amy Poehler is getting her own show? Will Arnett will be on it! Her husband! [Onion AV Club]
• Justin Timberlake is planning on writing a song for his friend Ellen DeGeneres and her new bride Portia de Rossi. "I actually made them a promise and I'm gonna stick to it," he says. Let you whip me if I misbehave… [UPI]
• Simon Cowell uses so much Botox he can no longer scowl. He says: "To me, Botox is no more unusual than toothpaste. It simply works. You do it once a year — who cares?" Um, Simon, do you only brush your teeth only once a year?? [The Sun]
• George Clooney's character in Burn After Reading uses a sex ramp; apparently sales of this item are suddenly up. [Daily Express]
• Katherine Heigl earns about 22 times what her Grey's Anatomy costar Ellen Pompeo makes, thanks to her film career. (Other Grey's salaries are compared here, too.) [Portƒolio]
• Val Kilmer as the governor of New Mexico? Bill Richardson says yes! "I like the idea. Val Kilmer is a New Mexican; he was Batman. You know there have been successful actors going into politics." [Shakesville]
• Last night, Audrina Patridge maybe moved out of the house that she shared with Lauren Conrad and Lo Bosworth. Plus: Rumors are swirling that she's getting her own spin-off show. Please let JustinBobby be in it! [TMZ]
• Oooh the Jack White/Alicia Keys Bond theme! It's called "Another Way To Die." Listen here. [Concrete Loop]
• So you know how Robert Downey Jr. is going to play Sherlock Holmes in a flick directed by Guy Ritchie? Jude Law will play Watson. [Ain't It Cool]
• Gwyneth Paltrow and Mario Batali will do another 13 episodes of their cooking show; this time in Italy. [Perez Hilton]
• Contrary to reports, two of Paris Hilton's dogs were NOT eaten by a coyote. [Page Six, People]
• Pat O'Brien is leaving The Insider. [People]
• Ryan O'Neal's lawyer says: "Those were not Ryan's drugs, he doesn't use drugs." [People]
• Gary Coleman's lawyer says "he did nothing wrong." This comes after Coleman allegedly ran over a dude who tried to take his picture with a camera phone. [People]
• Janet Jackson's Rock Witchu tour: "Overloaded with blinding dazzle, pyrotechnics and gaudy style over substance. The myriad production numbers were reminiscent of a poor Vegas revue and emotionally distant, the band and backup singers bolstering her vocals hidden away, leaving one to wonder if some — or most — of it was prerecorded." [Reuters]
• Is Britney Spears getting special treatment for her driving without a valid license trial? [AP]
• Broke oil "heir" Brandon Davis owes money all over town. [Page Six]
• Is Kathy Griffin moving her Life On The D-List show from Bravo to some other network? [Page Six]
• Denise Richards' show: Getting canceled? [Page Six]
• Joan Prather of Eight Is Enough was arrested after dragging an L.A. County Sheriff's deputy down the Pacific Coast Highway with her car. [TMZ]
• China's Ugly Betty is not ugly enough. [Guardian]
• Speaking of Ugly Betty, America Ferrera says Henry and Gio will be back on Season 3. [EW]
• Alex and Cynthia Rodriguez: Officially divorced. That was quick! [TMZ]
• LL Cool J is pissed because Jessica Simpson's album beat his on the charts. [MSNBC]
• Ronnie Wood's estranged wife says: "I'm enjoying my new freedom." [The Sun]
• Ashton Kutcher doesn't know how to spell step-daughter Tallulah's name. [Perez Hilton]
• Does Playboy treat black women like crap? [TMZ]
• The Spice Girls have beaten Led Zeppelin for an award for the best music reunion. Girl powah! [BBC News]
• Tracy Chapman is releasing her first new album in years, and you can listen to a track here. [Perez Hilton]
• "I do believe in marriage… But I just think for me, it’s not a desperate kind of thing. In America it’s definitely something that seems to be a major goal with every woman – the big wedding day. I don’t need that. I want total commitment and spiritual connection, and I am lucky because that’s what I’ve got. One of the things that first attracted me to my boyfriend is his brain. He’s very well-read and really sexy to me. Brains are the most important thing to me, because I feel I lack them. I want them from the man I am with. I love a well-read man – that is such a turn-on." — Eva Mendes. [Mirror]

• Brad Pitt has donated $100,000 to the campaign to defeat Proposition 8, the California ballot initiative that would ban same-sex marriage in the state. In a statement, he says: "Because no one has the right to deny another their life even though they disagree with it, because everyone has the right to live the life they so desire if it doesn't harm another and because discrimination has no place in America, my vote will be for equality and against Proposition 8." [Variety]
• Hilary Swank is recovering from a "minor" medical procedure; she had a "growth" removed and is totally fine. Except the word "growth" is sorta gross. [ET]
• Amy Poehler is sad about leaving SNL: "I'm on the verge of tears every minute. The cast and writers there are so dear, dear to me. I can't quite imagine not doing it. From now until my due date, we have about six shows and three election specials. I'm so, so sad about leaving." [USA Today]
• Oprah's BFF Gayle King spills on O's 30 Rock stint! "It is a hoot," Gayle tells New York magazine. "It was taped last Saturday. Let me tell you, Tina Fey and Oprah Winfrey together is magic. Oprah and Tina together: Hilarious. H-I-L-A-A-A-R-I-O-U-S." [NY Mag]

• So you know how Lindsay Lohan is all prO-bama, and the Obama camp is like, "Thanks, but no thanks"? Michael Lohan says: "Everyone is entitled to an opinion and so is Obama and his staff. Then again, you know what they say about opinions. Unfortunately, for them, to make such a comment about my daughter was a big mistake… Look at Angelina Jolie and the wonderful things she has done in her life, and now watch how Lindsay does the same." Wait, does this mean that LL is going to adopt a Vietnamese baby? [TMZ]
• Speaking of Lindsay, does she have a crush on Victoria Beckham? At the premiere of Ugly Betty, she was heard saying: "I love her hair. She looks really hot at the moment. It reminds me of Sam." [ONTD]
• Superclassy Joe Francis says: "Lindsay's straight. I think Sam has taken ownership of Lindsay. I think if Sam were to let Lindsay go even that much; Lindsay would revert back to being straight." [E!]
• Will Smith was asked if he was a Scientologist. He replied: "I am not." There you have it! [Perez Hilton]
• Juliette Lewis says Tom Cruise is not the representation of all things Scientology. "I feel so bad for him, because that's the responsibility that's put on him." She also says Scientology is not what you think it is: "It's just really practical, applied religious philosophy. And you'll get lost in the media with these fantastic, fantastical - is that a word? - stories of, like, aliens and, you know, gay cover-ups … the rumours, they're astonishing. And they would be funny, if they weren't so hurtful." [Perez Hilton]
• Here's video of Madonna falling on stage in concert while playing guitar and grinding, "just for the lulz." [ONTD]
• By the by, in Madonna's film, her directorial debut called Filth And Wisdom, a pivotal scene involves a stripper dancing to Britney Spears' "Baby One More Time." [Yahoo News]
• Jennifer Aniston is in Mexico with a mystery man. [The Sun]
• R. Kelly was interviewed for the first time since being acquitted of child pornography charges. When asked if he liked teenage girls, Kelly replied: "When you say teenage, how — how old are we talkin' ... 19? I have some 19-year-old friends. But I don't like anybody illegal, if that's what we're talking about, underage." [Yahoo News]
• Rose McGowan said that she would have joined the Irish Republican Army if she'd lived in Belfast during the conflicts there; producers of her film, Fifty Dead Men Walking have issued a statement that goes like this: "Ms. McGowan's views were private ones, and as such they greatly saddened the film's producers." [Hollywood Reporter]
• Elizabeth Hurley is now like the Jimmy Dean of England and sells pork for sausage and bacon. No, really. [The Sun]
• Jason Wahler's trial is set for November 3; he's accused of roughing up a tow-truck driver. There are also allegations that he shouted racial slurs at the plaintiff, who is black. [E!]
• Gary Coleman has been charged with misdemeanor reckless driving and disorderly conduct after an incident at a bowling alley in Utah. A fan tried to take Gary's picture with a cell phone camera; Gary allegedly attacked him and ran over him with his truck. [E!]
• Actor Thomas Jane (seen in The Punisher, married to Patricia Arquette) has pleaded no contest to drunken driving after doing 120 mph in a Maserati. He's been sentenced to to a year of probation, $1,700 in fines and alcohol abuse classes. Didn't the Medium see this coming? [Yahoo News]
• Those Jerry Seinfeld/Bill Gates ads are ending. Try to act interested. [LA Times]
• John Cleese is making like his James Bond alter ego Q and hosting a new gadget show in the UK. [The Sun]
• Ranae Shrider, aka Verne "Mini-Me" Troyer's ex-girlfriend, says she has no idea who is behind the overseas website that released a sex tape of Ranae and Verne. "I actually found out about the website when a friend of mine from college called and asked, 'Did you know you can have sex with Mini-Me for $9.95?'" Shrider says. [AVN]
• Denzel Washington, Jackie Joyner-Kersee, Martin Sheen, Wesley Clark and Shaquille O'Neal, who attended the Boys & Girls Clubs of America as children, have lent their childhood photos to the organization for a national advertising campaign. Denzel was adorbs. [AP]
• Redmond O'Neal's drug sponsor is Ashley Hamilton. The guy who was married to Shannen Doherty. His mom is Alana Stewart, Farrah Fawcett's best friend. And Farrah is Redmond's mom. Got it? [Janet Charlton's Hollywood]
• The Foo Fighters: On a long break. [Perez Hilton]
• Dita Von Teese claims she has never been an exhibitionist. "I wouldn't be caught dead baring my stomach," she says. "To me, baring my stomach during the day is just wrong. Remember that fashion for wearing super-low cut jeans? I tried a pair on once as a joke. It looked disgusting — I mean pornographic." [Sydney Morning Herald]
• Justin Timberlake isn't working on an album because he has fashion and golf to think about. [USA Today]
• Despite earlier reports that he was gonna get blown up or something, an expert says there is no credible terror threat against Paul McCartney regarding his upcoming gig in Israel. Shalom! [UPI]
• Keira Knightley to star in a modern love story and not a period piece! [Variety]
• "They're a bunch of pasty white, completely non-rock and roll, Christian… I can't stand that shit! I don't even know what they sound like." — Courtney Love on The Jonas Brothers. [MSNBC]
• "Everything that has happened to me, good and bad, I feel has happened for a reason. I've been made stronger from the good stuff and much, much stronger from the bad stuff." — Anne Hathaway. [People]
• "All kinds of Christians are getting mad about my Sarah Palin comments, and it is pissing me off […] If you truly believed in Jesus, you would try to be like him and love us, fags and dykes and feminists all. God bless you, even you. You fucking fuckers." — Margaret Cho. [Perez Hilton]

• Amy Poehler is leaving Saturday Night Live! She'll step away after the November election to give birth to her first child, and she won't be coming back. "It's gonna be really hard — Boyz II Men hard — to say goodbye to yesterday," she says. "But like any good drug, you need to know when to put it down." Amy will still be on TV, though: She's getting her own NBC series from the producers of The Office. [LA Times]
• RIP TRL! After ten years, Total Request Live will end its run on MTV. All kinds of stars stopped by the studios promote their projects, from Britney Spears to *NSync to Eminem. Remember when Mariah had her meltdown? It's the end of an era. [AP]
• Katie Couric has landed an interview with Sarah Palin. The CBS anchor will travel with the Governor next week. Will the ladies go on a moose hunt? [Page Six]
• Amy Winehouse posted pictures of Blake Incarcerated exposing his manhood on her Facebook profile. (Click to see a censored version.) In other news, Blake would rather stay in prison than accept early release where he has to live with his mum and wear an electronic monitoring device because he doesn't want to go somewhere where he can't be with Amy. [The Sun]

• Oh dear, it seems that Blake Incarcerated has failed a drug test and will spend Christmas in jail. Amy is upset she'll be spending New Year's Eve alone. She must feel like she's fighting some unholy war. [ONTD]
• Christina Applegate went back to work on the set of Samantha Who? yesterday, after taking time out for a double mastectomy in July. She'll undergo reconstructive surgery in the next few months. [E!]
• Nikki Blonksky sat down with Entertainment Tonight in her first interview since the incident in a Turks and Caicos airport which lead to her — and her father — being arrested. "You never expect things like this in your life, but you take life one day at a time, and you deal with situations," Nikki says. [ET]
• Nikki Blonsky also says nice things about Zac Efron: "I love him with every inch of my body and soul. He has been an amazing support system." [Just Jared]
• Mischa Barton and Josh Hartnett partied in London together. They left a club and went to his hotel; she was seen leaving an hour later. Is it on? [This Is London]
• Kevin Federline skipped his sons' birthday party to get wasted in Las Vegas. [MSNBC]
• Zahara Jolie-Pitt is three years old, but she already has a job lined up: When she's older, she can work at the clinic her parents have established in Ethiopia for children with AIDS and tuberculosis. [Star]
• Leonardo DiCaprio and Bar Rafaeli's off-again/on-again relationship is currently off. Stay tuned. [Rush & Molloy]
• Mariah Carey doesn't pick up her dog doo. [Page Six]
• Don't look for any more singles from Mariah Carey's album. [Perez Hilton]
• Lily Allen's new album comes out in February and is basically done, though she's adding some things. She explains: "I’m working on some extra stuff in the studio at the moment, it seems making an album isn't enough these days, some websites (not naming any!) won’t put an album on their front page unless you give them exclusive tracks, not that I’m complaining." Then she goes on to complain: "I always thought an album was a body of work in itself. you take it or leave it. You wouldn't say to a painter 'yeah I love the naked ladies, but would you mind painting their hair blonde instead of brown, and making their t*ts a bit bigger?' or 'the trees are really pretty, a few more leaves perhaps?' Maybe you would actually, ha ha." [Mirror]
• Tom Hanks: Being honored by the Film Society of Lincoln Center. [USA Today]
• Pat O'Brien of The Insider cares about poor people, claims he has "raged against the machine" and says we can change the world. [Page Six]
• Veronica Webb was replaced by Gretta Monahan on Tim Gunn's Guide To Style, but was still forced to sit next to her at a party. The cruelty! [Page Six]
• Guy Ritchie says a quickie is the best type of sex. Also, when asked why his films rarely have actresses in them, he said, "That's because I don't understand women." [The Sun]
• Benicio Del Toro and Steven Soderbergh: Seen partying in Toronto, getting lap dances and letting the ladies pour vodka shots into their mouths. Che it ain't so. [Page Six]
• Uh-oh, Kate Moss's daughter likes the way gas smells, so Kate leaves the car door open when she fills up at the petrol station. Does snorting chemicals run in the family? [The Sun]
• Jack White is not happy that Coca-Cola is using a song he wrote for the James Bond film Quantum of Solace. Although! Jack White did once write a song for Coke. Just not this song. [AdFreak]
• Ew, Aubry O'Day seen making out with Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis. [Page Six]
• Miley Cyrus's new guy is a model and aspiring country singer snamed Justin Gaston. Her rep says he is a "friend from Nashville." The two went to church together on Sunday. Jesus, talk about a clean teen. [People]
• Here's an interview with Michael Emerson, who plays Benjamin Linus on Lost. He says: "I learned the story at the same rate the audience was learning it. I didn’t know where it was going… But I've gotten used to it. Now, not knowing is part of the fun." [LA Times]
• Snoop Dogg, Rihanna and Chris Brown will attend the Melbourne Cup. Just a short while ago, it was unclear whether Snoop would be allowed into Australia; now he'll be in some kind of VIP booth at the horse race. Trifecta like it's hot. [News.com.au]
• The West Hollywood Gay and Lesbian Alliance are calling the British comedy series Little Britain USA "offensive" and "obnoxious." Isn't it supposed to be? [ONTD]
• Cate Blanchett and Philip Seymour Hoffman are working on a project to promote collaboration between theater companies in London, New York and Sydney, Australia. Blanchett's husband is a playwright; Hoffman is directing his work. [AP]
• Megan Fox is on the cover of GQ running her tongue across her teeth and wearing a bikini. She's also on the cover of Maxim, but the magazine bought old pix and did a story without her cooperation. [People]
• Noel Gallagher plans to team up with Russell Brand to create TV shows. Maybe even a sitcom. Be afraid. [The Sun]
• Saturday, Susie Essman of Curb Your Enthusiasm married her boyfriend of five years, a real estate broker named Jim Harder. Congrats! She says: "He didn’t even have HBO, or cable for that matter, and maybe that was a good thing because if he had ever seen me play Susie Greene, he probably would have run for the hills." [People]
• Dane Cook's made three shitty movies. Will My Best Friend's Girl be different? [AP]
• Um, a remake of Children Of The Corn. For the SciFi Channel. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Any CSI: NY fans out there? How do you feel about the fact that Rumer Willis will be on a November 19th episode? [EW]
• "No one can replace Richard Wright — he was my musical partner and my friend. He was gentle, unassuming and private but his soulful voice and playing were vital, magical components of our most recognised Pink Floyd sound." — Pink Floyd guitarist David Gilmour. [BBC News]
• "(David) wasn’t very well endowed, because he was fighting Goliath. There was very much that effect (for me). You tighten up like a hamster." — Daniel Radcliffe, on "shrinkage" due to stage fright while appearing nude in Equus on Broadway. [MSNBC, Daily Express]

"Saturday Night Live" Has Best Premiere Since 2001 [Reuters]