Today in Tweet Beat, Anthony Weiner's press conference has everybody talking. Plus, Chris Brown reminds you that he's an adult, in case you forgot based on his behavior.

Today in Tweet Beat, the infamous Long Island Lolita has bowed out of the adult entertainment industry with the help of Dr. Drew. Plus, take a look at Jonah Hill's child glamor shots.

Today in Tweet Beat, Britney Spears' managers take to her Twitter account to deny tabloid reports that she admitted her boyfriend gave her a black eye. Plus, Jackie Collins wants to see Jake Gyllenhaal ween.

Today in Tweet Beat, get inside the mind of Paris Hilton. Also, Amy "Long Island Lolita" Fisher unfollows The Situation because she thinks he's a whore.

Today in Tweet Beat, Sarah Silverman reflects on what hurt George Bush's feelings, Ice-T is not happy about doctored photos linking him to Roman Polanski, and Lisa Rinna is happy with her lips.

Today in Tweet Beat, Sarah Palin is making lemonade out of her stupid quotes. Plus, Amy Fisher teams up with another other woman—Michelle "Bombshell" McGee—for X-rated purposes. (Warning: NSFW.)

• Jessica Simpson is reportedly in negotiations to judge American Idol and has met with the producers several times. Since Jess obviously won't be filling the role of the cranky Brit, "This is part of a massive overhaul of the show."

• Suck on this: Madonna will be involved in New Moon, the Twilight sequel. Her Madgesty will not only be in the film, but supply music for the soundtrack. Brain exploding, brb. [ONTD via E!]

Today Jezebel sister site Fleshbot features an interview with Amy Fisher (link NSFW), the former "Long Island Lolita" who spent seven years in jail for the shooting of Mary Jo Buttafuoco.

• In the time we took to launder our whites and get over a hangover, singer John Mayer broke up with singer Jessica Simpson. Allegedly over her slutty clothes. Then John went to a party, hit on an Asian model, briefly considered doing her, thought better of it (debatable!) and went home alone. [Rush & Molloy]
• Whenever we…