Finally, You Can Stop Dieting And Insert The Fat From Your Ass Into…

There's a new form of cosmetic breast enhancement rushing towards American shores, » 8/19/08 2:30pm 8/19/08 2:30pm and it's sort of the ultimate dream for the ultra-vain: it involves taking fat from your butt and putting it in your boobs. You might be thinking: that sounds totally obvious! Well, it's a little more complicated than a gravy train…

Dear Models Of The World: Are We All Too Busy Starving Ourselves To…

Modeling. I'll be honest: I didn't really give much of a shit about the plight of its willowy practitioners before I met Tatiana. Now, Tatiana's going to be okay: she's doing this to travel and learn and meet the sort of people you wouldn't meet performing the other types of slave labor to which educated young… » 6/25/08 4:40pm 6/25/08 4:40pm

Five New Job Titles That Are Corporate Code For "Hot Girl"

This will shock you, but apparently some women get jobs at hedge funds solely on the basis that they are hot. "You meet these bimbos and they say, ‘Oh, I work at a hedge fund,' and you think, What?!?" one "head of an investment bank who pals around with high net worth investors" tells W Magazine. "And then you… » 6/24/08 4:40pm 6/24/08 4:40pm

American Apparel CEO Orders Subordinate To Pleasure Herself; She…

Perhaps you've heard enough out of American Apparel Chief Executive Onanist Dov Charney. He masturbated in front of a reporter, sleeps with his employees, promotes hot 17-year-olds to replace veterans, took himself public in one of the shadiest entries to the public markets in the history of financial engineering,… » 6/02/08 6:00pm 6/02/08 6:00pm

Girl Scout Robber Stefanie Woods: Sociopath? Or Helpless Victim Of The…

Stefanie Woods is a photogenic 18-year-old whose crime spree has captivated idyllic Palm Beach. If Law & Order taught me anything it's that she's also a sociopath. But see if you think I'm giving humanity too much credit: it all started when Woods, a part-time model, started chatting up a nine-year-old Girl Scout… » 5/29/08 12:00pm 5/29/08 12:00pm

Sharpen The Knives: A Science Fiction Convention Happened, And Some Fat…

When last we wrote about science fiction conventions we learned about something called the Open Source Boob Project, wherein women attendees kindly volunteered to wear buttons allowing desirous men to grope their tits. If only all convention attendees were so open and accepting! Last weekend, a woman named Rachel Moss… » 5/28/08 2:30pm 5/28/08 2:30pm

Washington Post Magazine Runs Livejournal-y Cover Story By Unemployed …

Because one can never get one's fill of first-person newspaper Sunday magazine stories by unemployed people in which nothing much happens, I read a cover story in the Washington Post Magazine called "Terminated," wherein a man named T.M. Shine — and, you will be shocked to learn, he blogs! — gets laid off from his job… » 5/28/08 12:00pm 5/28/08 12:00pm

Should You Get Plastic Surgery To Stay Competitive At The Workplace?…

Fun new trend being reported by two-thirds of plastic surgeons! People are getting it done to "remain competitive in the workplace," with eye jobs and teeth-whitening two of the most popular procedures. Hey, cheaper than going back to school and easier than learning Flash design! Maybe I should look into it? Gordon… » 5/13/08 2:30pm 5/13/08 2:30pm

Easy Curves: The Long, Hard Object Made For Bouncing Breasts

Easy Curves is a phallic piece of plastic that is supposed to make breasts higher, larger, firmer, and "more centered" (???), and is being advertised pretty regularly on TV. (Seriously, I could not get through a Top Model marathon this weekend without seeing boob commercials every few minutes.) Easy Curves is sorta… » 5/06/08 2:20pm 5/06/08 2:20pm

Open Source Boob Project: The True Story Of One Epic Day Nerds Groped…

When people first started imploring us to weigh in on the Open Source Boob Project we had this scary image of a website featuring a picture of a pair of fake tits that registered computer programmers could modify and reshape and manipulate with nanotechnology or whatever else until the resultant pair of tits reflected… » 4/23/08 4:40pm 4/23/08 4:40pm

Meet Gonzalo Otalora, The Robin Hood Of Ugly People

I was a little skeptical when I first read about Gonzalo Otalora, a Argentinian advocate for the ugly and bestselling author of the book Feosexual, a book that, among other things, advocates taxing the attractive to help reconcile the opportunity gap that persists in rewarding the symmetrically featured with money,… » 4/08/08 4:30pm 4/08/08 4:30pm

Maybe It's Time To Stop Hating On America's Scary Sadshaws

When I began conceiving of Jezebel, one of the first "Don'ts" on my list concerned one Julia Allison, sex columnist, media figure and self-promoter extraordinaire. Not only was Julia amply covered by Jezebel's big brother site Gawker, to me, she represented everything that was wrong with young women in the 00's.… » 3/31/08 12:30pm 3/31/08 12:30pm

How Did We Go From Riot Grrrls To Girls Gone Wild?

In yesterday's Los Angeles Times, depression diarist turned Yale law student Elizabeth Wurtzel lamented the failure of feminism in the aughts. In her typically rambling-though-insightful style, Wurtzel careened from the Spitzer scandal to Girls Gone Wild to Entourage, concluding that women are still "left choosing… » 3/19/08 2:00pm 3/19/08 2:00pm