Reporter Amy Chozick watches as the makeup artist from Dancing With The Stars does her magic with a spraygun:

Six-pack abs, defined cheekbones and sculpted arms appeared almost instantly. Each 10-week season, the cast goes through more than six gallons of spray-tan liquid, or juice as it is known in the industry.

"You go in feeling fat and frumpy, and you come out feeling skinny and hot," said 20-year-old dancer Chelsie Hightower as she took a break from practicing the hustle to get her weekly tan.

This is actually a gender-neutral experience, at least on these shows. Even former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay agreed to have his face bronzed (the Journal impishly colored in the face of his dot matrix portrait), and though so far his body hasn't been touched, it's not off the table for the finale:

He said he has an unwritten deal with ABC that costumes not show his "beautiful body."
"They said if I wanted to open my shirt for the finale, they could paint a six pack on me," Mr. DeLay said.

The allure of tanned skin has come a long way — from being associated with working outdoors, to being a status symbol suggesting the means and leisure time to loll on a beach somewhere, to an often-implausible shortcut achieved in a booth at a strip mall near you. The strangest thing about the obsession is not that it aligns with making bodies look more sculpted — it's how racial politics are always rendered invisible in this context.

Or at least most of the time:

On "Dancing With the Stars," in season six in 2008, Miami Dolphins linebacker Jason Taylor, who is African-American, had to get a spray tan because his Polish dance partner, Edyta Sliwinska, had over-tanned and was darker than Mr. Taylor, says Mr. Green, the producer. A spokesman for Mr. Taylor says his client didn't get spray-tanned.

Judging from the photo below, this is story is not so hard to believe.

Rippling Muscles On TV Dance Shows Are A Pigment Of Your Imagination [WSJ]

• Miley Cyrus will indeed be in Sex And The City 2:

The teen queen will have a scene with Kim Cattrall: Samantha Jones wants to look "hot and young" and winds up on the red carpet with Miley — wearing the same dress. Hilarious? [NY Daily News]

• Rumors that Johnny Depp will be replaced in the next Pirates of The Caribbean movie: "Completely unfounded," says a Disney spokesperson. [Mirror]
• Just yesterday, Jon Gosselin's girlfriend Hailey Glassman was on the Gosselin family website. Today? She's been deleted. [RadarOnline]
• Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom's wedding: A circus. A guest says: There were so many helicopters overhead, you couldn't hear the vows." Ok! magazine made a $250,000 deal for "exclusive" wedding pix, so when paparazzi pictures of the bride popped up on Sunday, the mag had to spend $50,000 on the shots to keep them off the market. As you may know, E! paid for the wedding, after insisting that it be held immediately so it could be on the season premiere of Keeping Up With The Kardashians. [Page Six]
• Ryan Seacrest is thinking about doing a reality show focusing on Khloe and Lamar as newlyweds. It worked out so well for Nick and Jessica! [NY Daily News]
• In other Kardashian news, Kim Kardashian is back together with Reggie Bush. Professional athletes for everyone! [NY Daily News]
• A second suspect in the Lindsay Lohan burglary has turned herself in. [NY Daily News]
• Should Kanye West go to rehab as an apology for his MTV VMA incident? Columnist Courtney Hazlett says "no, no, no." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Speaking of rehab: Amy Winehouse met a "faith healer" named Peter Hippolyte when she was in St. Lucia, and she's planning on flying him to England to help her stay off drugs and booze. Hippolyte says: "We will say prayers together and she will drink bush tea with antioxidants." [Daily Mail]
• Video: Amy Winehouse rapping. Sorta. [The Sun]
• "The timing of Roman Polanski's arrest in Switzerland on Sunday on a 31-year-old rape conviction couldn't have been better for Brett Ratner." Hours before Polanski was arrested, Ratner announced he'll be producing a sequel to Marina Zenovich's 2008 documentary, Roman Polanski: Wanted and Desired. [Page Six]
• Mariah Carey says Precious director Lee Daniels helped her shed some insecurities — he made her arrive to the set without any makeup, and forced her to leave the diva act at home. "That was such a freeing experience for me… By making me look so bad he brought out the ability to never be self-conscious again, and that was a gift that he gave me." On the rumors that Mariah and Nick Cannon are trying to get pregnant, she says: "Well, we enjoy practicing." [AP]
• Jon Hamm and Elisabeth Moss are on the October cover of LA Confidential, and inside Jon says: "The [show] is not meant to be on while you're doing dishes, it's meant to be enjoyed and savored and focused on, and it rewards that attention…" [JustJared]
• At Teen Vogue's 7th annual Young Hollywood party, Kelly Osbourne was overheard telling a friend that she was "shocked" how short the skirts of the young party girls were. [Page Six]
• Randy and Evi Quaid are called "Hollywood's Nightmare Couple" in this extensive piece. Evi allegedly self-medicated with Demerol three times a day, snorting it so it would go right to her brain to cure her migraines. A source says: "She also … believed [Michael] Jackson was murdered along with Heath Ledger, Chris Penn, David Carradine, Natasha Richardson, and other stars who (had been) in movies with Randy." The paranoia that someone was out to get them, and that they weren't safe anywhere, lead to a string of unpaid hotel bills. [The Daily Beast]
• "The enormous sign Evi Quaid made last week — which accused her arresting officer of taking bribes — somehow caught fire this weekend…" [TMZ]
• Emma Watson was "shaken" at the Harvard/Brown football game when security guards had to protect her from gawkers. [Page Six]
• Mel Gibson is asking a judge to remove his 2006 DUI from his record, now that he has completed the terms of his 3-year probation. [TMZ]
• Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of York, has announced that a major US film company has bought the rights to her series of children's books. She says: "The films will run as a series… America has been so good to me. I failed in Britain, and when I gave it a go in America I was ready to fail there, too — but they have really embraced me." [Daily Mail]
• Emmy Rossum, who kept her marriage a secret all year, will be officially divorced in about 180 days. Court documents reveal that she married record label exec Justin Siegel in February, and that he wants Emmy to pay his legal expenses for the divorce and give him spousal support. He's all, "That's all I ask… of youuuuuu." [E!]
• Emmy is currently dating Sideshow Bob Adam Duritz. [People]
• American Idol castoff Adam "Glambert" Lambert's CD is available for pre-order on Amazon, and is currently number 2 — ahead of Madonna and the Beatles. [NY Post]
• Darrell Hammond's name is missing from the opening credits of Saturday Night Live, and a source says: "He's interested in pursuing acting more, but he's loyal to Lorne Michaels, and Lorne will always have a place for him on SNL for as long as Darrell is willing to come back." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Barbra Streisand's new CD is nostalgic, though the recording process was not: "For the first time, she worked with jazz artist Diana Krall as producer, and did it Krall's way. She performed with Krall's quartet of musicians first, then added orchestration later, instead of her usual practice of performing with an orchestra at the outset." [AP]
• Malaysia has banned Bruno because of the gay sex scenes. According to this column, "Gay sex, or 'carnal intercourse against the order of nature,' is punishable by up to 20 years in jail and whipping in Malaysia." Their views on homosexuality suck, but as far as the film goes, they're not missing anything. [Mirror]
• Mary-Louise Parker, 45, is dating musician Charlie Mars, 35. [NY Daily News]
• Jaime Pressley and new hubby Simran Singh got into a huge fight on their wedding night, maybe because Jaime had too much to drink. [Radar Online]
• "The Inside Scoop on Starting in TV" is the story of how Lara Spencer got her start. [WSJ]
• Jon Cryer and his wife, Lisa Joyner, have adopted a baby girl. [People]
• 90210 2.0's AnnaLynne McCord actually wants to be on the cover of Cosmo. [Page Six]
• "A former aide to Danielle Steel is facing time in federal prison after admitting she stole hundreds of thousands of dollars from the romance novelist." [AP]
• Al Sharpton and actress LisaRaye: It's on. [TheYBF]
• Police officials now have the hard drive found with Ryan Jenkins when he was discovered dead in a hotel room back in August. There was no suicide note, so cops are hoping the computer will shed light on the murder of Jasmine Fiore. [TMZ]
• Whatshisname does not have an eating disorder. [The Sun]
• "In terms of the stress there's just no comparison. For me, at least, writing a novel is a great pleasure. There is stress but it's a different kind of stress: more mental than physical. In a film you're working nights and 16-hour days. Here I am saying poor me, when I've been paid pretty well for that work, but it's a fact. It doesn't matter how much you're being paid. At my age I just feel I don't want to do that any longer. So, the writing is really a godsend." — Gene Hackman, who has quit acting for writing, He and Daniel Lenihan have written three works of fiction, and their latest, Escape From Andersonville, is a Civil War adventure. [The Daily Beast]
• "I am enrolling in Berklee College in Boston to get my bachelor's degree in music! That's how important education is to me. I plan to work with Rev. Al Sharpton because that's how important stressing the importance of education to children is to me." — Wyclef Jean. [BV Buzz]
• "I wasn't nervous because I'd got my body and mind into shape for it. My aim is to become an iconic sex symbol and the Playboy shoot is the first step. I wanted to be toned and curvaceous with a nice butt–I didn't want to lose weight and look skinny." — Heidi Montag on her Playboy shoot. She also says: "I'm a C cup but I want to upgrade to a DD cup. I have a curvy butt now and bigger boobs will enhance my shape." [Prz]
• "Seriously, I feel exactly the same now turning 50 as I did when I was 40 or 30. I am enjoying myself. I happen to think that I am just extraordinarily lucky. I am doing something that I am passionate about and that I enjoy doing. There are a couple of charities I am involved with that would appreciate a donation. But please, no presents from anyone." — Simon Cowell turns 50 tomorrow and will throw a big party this weekend. [Telegraph]
• "We're having Gore Vidal on. Larry David is booked. Those two are favorites of mine. And the usual suspects: Ann Coulter. Susie [Essman] will be on. Barbara [Walters] might be on the first week because she's the queen. Alec Baldwin- I can't get him on the phone. I saw him recently at a U.N. function. He's the funniest. He trusts me because I'm not out to get him. I'm not. Last time I interviewed him, his daughter was there and they were really close." — Joy Behar on her new HLN show, which starts tonight at 9pm. [USA Today]
• "She speaks like this weird white-person ebonics. She has this weird language. She doesn't technically read. But it's OK; she doesn't have to." — Kathy Griffin on Paris Hilton. [Page Six]
• "Come on over and see me after you finish." — Ellen Barkin to Matt Damon. [Page Six]
• "With ratings falling, this might be the last season of Jon & Kate Plus 8. I'm not sure yet." — Kate Gosselin, on her Facebook page. [NY Post]

• Courtney Love "went nuts" when a guest at a party opened an unlocked bathroom and saw her on the toilet with her skirt around her ankles.

Apparently she launched herself at the dude, and though people tried to calm her down, a security guy told the man: "It's best you get away as fast as possible." [Page Six]

• Backstage at the Emmys, Paramedics were called for Kristin Chenoweth, who complained of a migraine headache and then said she couldn't open her eyes. [Access Hollywood]
• More backstage Emmys drama: A fight between Maksim Chmerkovskiy and Karina Smirnoff got "kind of loud." Apparently they were "screaming at each other"after he said she took too long in hair and makeup. [E!]
• Mad Men and 30 Rock were big winners at the Emmys last night. [NY Daily News]
• Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs won the weekend box office; Jennifer Aniston's Love Happens came in fourth — one of her worst openings in years — and Jennifer's Body placed fifth. [Ny Daily News]
• "Mr. T's Chance of Meatballs character fits him to a T." [USA Today]
• Kate Gosselin taped her Mom Logic TV show pilot over the weekend, and even though guests Mel B and Christie Brinkley were nixed, a source says the taping "went extremely well" and "Kate did great." [Radar]
• Congrats! Zooey Deschanel married Death Cab For Cutie singer Ben Gibbard Saturday night near Seattle. [People]
• Did you know that Susan Sarandon has been a member of a Ping-Pong society for years? [NY Magazine]
• From a profile on Madonna: "Scented Christian Dior candles fill the air in a space so dimly lit, it seems both slightly theatrical and quasi-religious. A huge telephone with multiple extensions bears labels such as M study, M dressing room, M bathroom, Laundry, Music Room, Kitchen, Mews." And: "A lot of people are just really confused by me… They don't know what to think of me, so they try to compartmentalize me or diminish me. Maybe they just feel unsafe. But any time you have an overtly emotional or irrational, negative reaction to something, you're fearing something that it's bringing up in you." [Times Of London]
• Paula Abdul almost refused to co-present with Kathy Griffin at the VH1 Divas concert because of all the insulting jokes Kathy had made. [Gatecrasher]
• Amy Winehouse was leaving a nightclub recently when a passerby shouted "Oi Amy, where's your crack pipe?" [The Sun]
• Heidi Klum and Seal can't decide on a name for the baby girl they are expecting. Seal says: "It has been the topic of debate for the last month. We can't quite figure it out. I'm a firm believer that she will pop out and will tell us what she wants to be called." [Mirror]
• Charlize Theron's nude scene in The Burning Plain — in which she smokes a cigarette while standing at a window in full view of passersby in Portland, OR — was shot at 6 a.m. to avoid paparazzi. [Page Six]
• Oprah had a block party in Chicago and paid more than $54,000 for city services. [Ny Post]
• Joy Behar would love to get Sarah Palin on her new show on HLN and talk to her about the "real America." "It's insulting to men like my father, who fought in World War II, whom she doesn't think are real Americans because we don't agree with her." Joy also says: "Look, it's not that I'm contentious; I'm uncompromising. I'm friendly, but I can't let things go unchallenged. And I intend to give my opinions quite profusely. I might even have to interrupt myself." [New York Magazine]
• New couple? Kid Cudi and Amanda Bynes??? [Gatecrasher]
• They're saying Mischa Barton's a mess in the morning and needs someone to "fix" her coffee, but who isn't and who doesn't? [Page Six]
• So what is up with that Taylor Momsen record contract that allows her singing on Gossip Girl and the "Runaways Project"? She's not in the Runaways movie! Was she was supposed to get Dakota Fanning's part? Or does she have a secret cameo? [TMZ]
• Beth Ditto has banned her girlfriend from touring with her: "[It's] not because I don't think she can handle it, but because that's my life. Say what you want about me. Say it to my face, say it behind my back, write it on the fucking bathroom mirror, I don't care. But do not talk about the people I love. I will lose my mind." [NME]
• An ambulance was called to David Hasselhoff's house yesterday; apparently his 17-year-old daughter, who was home with him, called her mother, saying that David was extremely drunk. A friend of Pamela's called 911. [TMZ, TMZ]
• January Jones, aka Mad Men's Betty Draper, has purchased a lovely home in the Los Feliz neighborhood of L.A., and you can see the pix at the link. [The Real Estalker]
• The Guinness World Records board has refused to let the White Stripes into their record book for playing a one-note concert, due to insufficient interest. Twelve hundred people showed up to a gig in Canada where Jack White played an E. [Mirror]
• Stephen Moyer on his engagement to Anna Paquin: "It was very intimate and quite surprising for her, I think, and we were by ourselves at dinner in Hawaii and...I surprised her. But it was something that surprised me probably more than it surprised her." He also says: "She is very funny and very frank and very direct and beautiful… She doesn't take any of my nonsense." [E!]
• David Arquette and Ben Harper have a clothing line called Propr, and Arquette says: ""We love the idea of chivalry and going in an old-school barber… There's a quality that's in the finer details, like they really thought it out a step further." More from "A Night Out" with the duo at the link. [NY Times]
• Ryan O'Neal visited Farrah Fawcett's grave after their son, Redmond, was ordered to leave jail and go to rehab for a year. [Daily Mail, USA Today]
• Nicole's sister Antonia Kidman is engaged to Singapore-based banker Craig Marran. [News.com.au]
• Terry Gilliam got Johnny Depp to tango for The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus even though Johnny allegedly said "Men don't dance." [Mirror]
• Oy: Sacha Baron Cohen will play an Israeli tour guide on The Simpsons. [UPI]
• From a piece on John Malkovich's new film, Disgrace, set in post-apartheid South Africa: "[Malkovich's character] Lurie appears the virtual embodiment of white male arrogance, an English professor who views himself through the prism of Romantic poetry and who pursues an exploitive, obsessive affair with a much younger, mixed-race student. You can't say that he rapes her, but the issue of consent between an inexperienced young woman and a practiced seducer — one with direct power over her academic future — is complicated, to say the least." [Salon]
• Will Diddy switch record labels? [Page Six]
• Scott Weiland had a seizure on a plane while en route from Los Angeles to Florida, causing the plane to land in Dallas-Fort Worth; he is "doing great" now. [E!]
• Larry King hates frivolous lawsuits. [TMZ]
• John Travolta may be a witness at the trial for two people accused of trying to extort $25 million from him after his son died in the Bahamas. [AP]
• John Travolta says if he is called to testify, he will do so. [ET]
• Sources say John Travolta's testimony will be dramatic and emotional. [TMZ]
• Ozzy Osbourne's new memoir describes appearing on the MTV show The Osbournes as "terrifying" and like being "strapped to a rocket and being blasted through the stratosphere at warp factor ten." [Mirror]
• Leonard Cohen is recovering after collapsing on stage during a show in Spain; he reportedly had food poisoning. [UPI]
• James Blunt is accusing internet service providers of "handling stolen goods" by allowing file sharing and illegal downloads. [Telegraph]
• Anoushka Shankar, Ravi Shankar's daughter, had been the victim of a blackmail plot; an arrest has been made. [Independent]
• District 9 is not welcome in Nigeria. [NY Post]
• "Frustrated cops probing Jordan's claim to have been raped by a celebrity said yesterday they could do no more unless she co-operates." [The Sun]
• "You're not going to be successful. You're not going to be millionaires (with the exception of MAYBE Kris and Adam). No one will care about you. Those fans who've been asking for your autograph all tour long - 98 percent of them don't give a flying poo about you once next season of Idol starts. In other words, your days of being a star are over. But that's all right - so are mine… The music business, for the most part, will treat you like an outsider… You are just a game show contestant who still needs to prove why you should be here. Move to a music city. L.A., New York or Nashville Leave home and live WAY below your means." — Chris Sligh, former American Idol contestant, to other Idol singers, on his blog. [NY Post]
• "I was never in the high, high fashion industry. I was never one of those superskinny, supertall waif girls who goes from show to show. When you do more commercial things, your weight is allowed to fluctuate a bit. Not every inch counts. It's hard for the girls. How old are they? Fifteen, 16? Some girls are naturally thin and can eat whatever they want. When I was 15, 16, there was not one ounce of fat on me, but some other girls have to work hard to stay like that. But the rules are not made by the models. To be part of this, they have to be the size the designer wants them to be. I'm not that skinny, and I never was, but I can pretty much eat whatever I want." — Heidi Klum. [Page Six Magazine]
• "My dream was always to work in a candy store. It was because of my obsession with candy; I don't have it any more, now that my teeth are all rotten. I did go to a university for a year, as shocking as that might sound to people, and there was a candy shop that I used to go to all the time, an old-fashioned one where all the candy was in these big glass jars. I used to go in there and look at all the candy and think, ‘God, it would be really cool to work in here; I could have candy whenever I wanted.' So I did want the keys to the candy store, but I had different keys." —Madonna. [Times of London]
• "At first, I didn't know whether I'd be healthy enough to film a full season of an action-packed drama series. But soon I realized there was nothing I wanted to do more. We got in touch with the network to let them know about my diagnosis and I sent this message: 'Don't count me out. I can do this.' All I could think was: 'If I'm going out, I'd rather go out on a high note, doing quality work I believe in.'" — From Patrick Swayze's memoir, on doing The Beast with a cancer diagnosis. [Daily Mail]
• "We need to be the example of respect, of tolerance, and just how to be civil, can we do that? Even though I didn't win the crown that night I know that the Lord has so much of a bigger crown in heaven for me. I never asked to be thrown into politics… but you know what, I'm proud of the stance that I took and I'm glad that God upheld me for such a time as this." — Carrie Prejean. [NY Daily News]
• "Forget about playing Tony Blair. When I told her I was definitely playing vampire Aro in Twilight, she cried. She was so overwhelmed and annoyed that I muscled in on something that was hers. She's already told me she'll be my date for the premiere." — Michael Sheen's 10-year-old daughter, Lily is excited about his career for once. [Page Six]

• Sandra Bullock is allegedly helping Ryan Reynolds get through a rough patch in his marriage to Scarlett Johansson. Hopefully her advice doesn't include "watch All About Steve together." [ShowbizSpy]

• "Sandra told Ryan the most important thing is that he and Scarlett need to make time for one another, even though they both have busy schedules," says a source, "She told him, ‘There is no substitute for togetherness.' Sandra pointed out that she and Jesse take quick vacations together - just hopping on the back of his bike and hitting the road.Ryan listens to Sandra because he has tremendous respect for her as a person and an actress." [ShowbizSpy]
• DJ AM's girlfriend, Haley Wood, gave a moving speech at his memorial service last week: "I will never be the same without him. A part of me has passed away with him. Even the warmest of days will never compare to the warmth I felt when I touched him. He was my soulmate, and now he is my soul. He was my amazing grace." [People]
• Your Daily Mail Headline Of The Day: "Sienna Miller Goes Public With Another Man...But At Least This One's Not Married." [DailyMail]
• "I am single and a workaholic and very lonely. But I'm good. Me and my vibrator are very happy."-Lady GaGa [TheSun]
• "I was surprised and pleased by how extremely knowledgeable about fashion and articulate Lindsay Lohan was. She's very young and can be portrayed in ways that aren't all together flattering, and she was a true statesperson and really weighed in on the designers and what they were doing exceptionally well. And it was really a thrill to have her."-Tim Gunn on Lindsay Lohan's guest spot on Project Runway. [IOL]
• Former Real Housewife of Orange County Lynne Curtin has been accused of stealing $5000 worth of furniture from a home she moved out of last week. [TMZ]
• Kelsey Grammer is throwing a Studio 54-themed 40th birthday party for his wife, Camille. A source claims the theme was "inspired by Camille's days as the principal dancer on 'Club MTV.'" [PageSix]
• "'There's nothing funny about someone who's completely secure. Vulnerabilities and cracks in the armor are what's funny. And what's really funny is someone who's attempting to hold a shield up to those things and thinking that they're pulling it off.''-Jason Bateman [NYTimes]
• A source claims that Paula Abdul hopes to "destroy" American Idol with a TV version of her one-woman show: "Paula believes she's got the draw of a Cher or Bette Midler and she's determined to rub the noses of the ‘Idol' bosses in her success. She's funneling her anger and resentment into making this project a hit. She wants to strike back." [ShowbizSpy]
• "I honestly don't know. What he said is he's trying to get what's best for him and best for me. He said it had nothing to do with talent. And I'm just going to go on that. That was his only explanation. He's looking at the whole mix of the show and maybe he feels that what I bring would be better served on a sitcom. They hired two new gals [Jenny Slate and Nasim Pedrad] that I think are going to be exquisite."- Michaela Watkins on Lorne Michaels firing her from Saturday Night Live [EW]
• Rosie Perez and Jennifer Lopez are reportedly battling for the rights to bring Judge Sonia Sotomayor's life story to the big screen. [DailyExpress]
• O.J. Simpson will remain in prison: a judge has denied his request to be let out of jail while he appeals his convictions for armed robbery and kidnapping. [DailyExpress]
• Want to hear John Krasinski read a bedtime story? You're in luck: he's recorded a reading of "Aladdin" for Speakaboos. [E!]
• Khloe Kardashian is reportedly dating L.A. Lakers star Lamar Odom. [E!]
• "I would never want the responsibility of being the prettiest girl onscreen. Growing up with a mother like mine gives you a skewed idea of what a mother should look like. My mother's jeans are smaller than mine!"- Rumer Willis [ShowbizSpy]
• Kanye West was caught on tape screaming "Don't follow me!" at a paparazzi, who proceeded to apologize to Kanye...and then followed him anyway. WHY WON'T YOU LET HIM BE GREAT, PAPARAZZI?!?!? [ONTD]
• "God, I really wish I could go loose on this one. He's like Napoleon and he wants to create this insane, infamous mad-man reputation. He wants to be like Hitler on his sets, and he is. So he's a nightmare to work for but when you get him away from set, and he's not in director mode, I kind of really enjoy his personality because he's so awkward, so hopelessly awkward." -Megan Fox on Michael Bay [JustJared]

• In the teaser footage from Larry King Live, it seemed like Chris Brown didn't remember assaulting Rihanna. But Chris has released a statement which reads:

"There have been reports on the Internet that I didn't remember what happened that night with Rihanna. I want to try and set things straight. That 30 seconds of the interview they used of me was taken from a one hour interview during which that same question was asked something like four or five times – and when you look at the entire interview you will see it is not representative of what I said. The first four times – or however many times it was – I gave the same answer – which was that I didn't think it was appropriate for me to talk about what happened that night. I said it was not right for me and it really wasn't fair to Rihanna. The fifth time – or whatever it was – I just misspoke. I was asked, 'Do you remember doing it?' and I said, 'No.' Of course I remember what happened. Several times during the interview, my mother said that I came to her right afterwards and told her everything. But it was and still is a blur. And yes, I still can't believe it happened because it is not me or who I am, nor is what happened like anything I have ever done before." There's more, but it's similarly vague. He does say he wants to talk to a counselor about what happened and how to channel his anger. [People, TMZ]

• Madonna and Jesus Luz were at the Western Wall in Jerusalem's Old City, and caused a "frenzy" of onlookers and paparazzi. Madonna wore high heels, blue jeans and a black jacket; Jesus wore a black T-shirt and a blank expression. [Daily Mail]
• In an interview with TV Guide, Paula Abdul talks about her emotional farewell from American Idol. "You know, to say ‘no regrets' isn't easy," Paula said. "I feel like I have been such a big, huge part of the success of the show from day one. I loved being able to be the artist's artist; being there from my point of view of knowing what it feels like to be vulnerable and to be out there wanting to achieve the most magical moment in a minute and 30 seconds. To be able to do that was an amazing experience and the show was wonderful for me in that regard." But she will not be taken advantage of! "I stand on principle where many people stand on money," she explained. "I'm a hard-working artist. I've lasted in this business for 23 years. And you can't do that unless you are good at what you do. I believe in myself and you have to have your own self-respect." [MSNBC]
• Paula Abdul will be on TV — playing a judge on Drop Dead Diva and hosting VH1's Divas concert. [USA Today]
• While in Las Vegas, Jon Gosselin was seen jewelry shopping. He looked at a few pinky rings, but mostly checked out engagement rings. [Radar Online]
• Paris Jackson got her hair cut and her security collected the hair from the floor and put it in a bag so no one could take a strand and do some kind of DNA test. [MSNBC via Daily Mail]
• Michael Jackson had been requesting hospital-grade sedatives in order to sleep since 1994. [MSNBC]
• OMG: Soleil Moon Frye dressed up as Punky Brewster for her Twitter fans. Sunburst hair barrettes, stripey socks, a key around the neck. Holy macanoli. Video here. [TMZ, Ustream]
• Pete Wentz is working on a new comic book series, Fall Out Toy Works, and says: "I think after you have a kid, all of a sudden you want to do things that your kid can see." But the comic image at the link depicts robot girl with giant breasts and a mini-waist, which doesn't seem appropriate for 9-month-old Bronx. [USA Today]
• Elisabeth Hasselbeck, Whoopi Goldberg and Barbara Walters were not even watching the Daytime Emmy Awards when The View won this year, after 11 years on the air. Joy Behar joked: "I always said that the key to success was showing up - this time I was wrong." [Gatecrasher]
• "Consider this year's slate of Emmy nominees for best actress in a drama: Sally Field, 62; Holly Hunter, 50; Glenn Close, 62; Mariska Hargitay, 45, and Kyra Sedgwick, 43. The single exception on the list is Elisabeth Moss, the ambitious, naive Peggy Olson in Mad Men, which recently returned for its third season. If Moss, who is 27, were to win, she would be the youngest winner in the category's history." [Philadelphia Inquirer]
• Kim Mathers did an interview with a Detroit radio station about her ex-husband, Eminem. She did not hold back, saying: "I can't stand him. He's an absolutely horrible person and he gets worse every day. I vomit in my mouth whenever I'm around him or I hear his name. There's nothing left in me for him. Nothing at all. He's not very well endowed. If you're going to have sex with Marshall, make sure you have a little blue pill, because otherwise it does not work." [The Sun]
• Real Housewives Of New York City is filming again; a crew was seen at Jill Zarin's fabric firm yesterday. But a source says there are two new women "waiting in the wings." [Page Six]
• Here's the reason Amy Winehouse was seen with magic marker freckles on her nose: Blake Fielder-Civil used to call her his "lioness." A source says: "She painted the orange marks on her nose and wore a tiger-print top so that Blake would notice." Uh, do lions have freckles? [The Sun]
• Jay-Z will mark the eighth anniversary of 9/11 with a concert to benefit the families of New York's Finest and Bravest who died that day. [Page Six]
• Interested in a story linking Sharon Osbourne, Ryan Jenkins, Jasmine Fiore, Michael Jackson, Tommy Lee Jones ... and Kevin Bacon? [TMZ]
• Keanu Reeves will star in and produce Henry's Crime, a romcom about a bighearted man who is falsely accused of robbing a bank in Buffalo. [Variety]
• Tia and Tamera Mowry will star in a Lifetime move called Double Wedding. Twin sisters begin dating the same man; cue hijinks. [Variety]
• In an interview to air on September 11, ESPN reporter Erin Andrews tells Oprah that having secretly taped nude footage of her on the internet was a "nightmare." [AP]
• "Stephen Fry: gorillas staring at my moobs inspired weight loss. Stephen Fry has said he was inspired to lose five-stone in weight when he noticed gorillas eyeing-up his ''man boobs'' with jealousy." [Telegraph]
• Shania Twain has been "moving on" since her marriage broke up last year: She is nnow with the husband of the woman her husband had an affair with and will be a guest judge on American Idol. [Reuters]
• Whatshername has spent £150,000 on a new dressage horse "which she is calling Cross Dresser." [The Sun]
• Whatshername met her new boyfriend's parents. [Mirror]
• "I was raped when I was younger, more than once." — Katie "Jordan" Price. [The Sun]
• "[When I first met him] he was wearing an EPMD T-shirt, which let me know he knew and loved classic hip-hop music and was a true fan of the culture. He was excited to meet me and told me what the show I used to host, Yo! MTV Raps, meant to his music development. He really wanted me to sign his DVD of my film Wild Style, which I sadly never got to do. I would later check him out in numerous clips on YouTube where I could see he was truly talented and was elevating the DJ game to new heights along with Travis Barker on the drums. DJ AM and I would exchange small messages on Twitter and I'd often notice him tweet about how he'd landed safely in whatever town he was in as a year ago he survived that tragic plane crash. His last tweet and looking at his @djam twitter page now looks like a monument to a fallen soldier in the culture war, which he was winning. R.I.P. DJ AM...and the BEAT GOES ON!!!!" — Fab Five Freddy. [The Daily Beast]
• "I try to [Twitter]. My parents are way better at it, obviously, than me. I keep trying to figure out, like, do people really care if I'm, like, 'hey, I'm doing my laundry!' [laughs] I keep trying to figure it out, but I'm working on it." — Rumer Willis. She also reveals that her middle sister, Scout, is fluent in French. [JustJared]
• "My early life from infancy to leaving home at 16 was spent in care. I had some wonderful social workers who supported me and helped me achieve my goals in life. That's why it's important to recruit more social workers. There are many people out there, whether they be children, families, vulnerable adults, even the aged, who need a social worker. I want to enable them to have the support they need. Help us to help them, and maybe one day they may help you." — Samantha Morton. [Guardian]
• "If you are old you're not going to play young leads any more, that's a fact. In the film world, the camera loves a young person, man or woman. That's a fact... None of these things are ever going to change. So absorb it, live with it, get over it. I'm not being unkind, but I'm just saying millions of crones like me shouldn't suddenly be given the lead in things, just because we're damn old and very ... sort of recalcitrant." — Joanna Lumley. [Telegraph]
• "There was a photo of me with weird sunglasses on and a green sweatshirt, some striped thing, with tights and cowboy boots. Something really random where in some sense it's me. To this day, I have never read the article. I just saw the photo and thought, 'God, I look crazy in that photograph!' " — Mary-Kate Olsen. [Page Six]

• Gerard Butler had to shoot a wedding photograph with Jennifer Aniston as a prop for their characters in The Bounty. Gerard says:

"It was quite romantic. We were joking about it: 'We might as well make this real. Keep everybody happy.'" As Gerard slipped the ring on Jen's finger, his phone rang. It was his mother. "I have to call you back. I'm getting married," Butler deadpanned — on speakerphone, so the crew could hear. "She goes, 'What?' " Butler clarified: " 'I'm marrying Jennifer Aniston!' and she's like: 'Oh, good. Well, I'm glad you made the right choice.'" [USA Today]

• Lindsay Lohan feels "scared" and "violated" after the break in at her Hollywood Hills home. She Tweeted: "I know it was not a ROBBERY. electronics weren't taken... just things that a certain old friend knew meant a lot to me. It really makes me sad, and well, obviously-scared. :( and I'm sorry i haven't been on in a bit... my life has been kind of in shambles considering my house was broken into and i feel really violated." [The Sun]
• Uh-oh: The "real reason" Lindsay is upset about someone stealing the safe from her house? She had some "very incriminating" videos, photos and legal documents inside. Will they go public? [Chicago Sun-Times]
• Oh Lord. Britney Spears is "still madly in love" with Adnan Ghalib, the paparazzo she dated for a few months early last year. Notes this column: "The pap-turned-celebrity-by-association was later charged with assault, hit-and-run and battery stemming from an incident in which he allegedly attempted to run over a court official who was trying to serve a restraining order on him." A catch! [Fox News]
• Britney has been catching shows while in New York: Wicked and The Little Mermaid, for instance. But her lawyer Larry Rudolph is with her, not alleged boyfriend/manager Jason Trawick. What does it mean? [Page Six]
• MSNBC Scoop columnist Courtney Hazlett went to the Britney Spears concert in NYC and reports: "When Spears wasn't changing from one fabric swatch to another, her time onstage could be summed up in one word: walking. There was walking from one side of the stage to the other. There was walking from one backup dancer so she could be flung toward another. Sometimes you could find Spears walking to a cage, entering and having another person push it, so the cage could do the walking for her." [MSNBC Scoop]
• The 53-year-old man charged with stalking Miley Cyrus told an investigator he planned on visiting her movie set and "finishing things." [AP]
• Jon and Kate Gosselin are accusing each other of financial deception. Prediction: It will get uglier than an Ed Hardy T-shirt. [Radar Online]
• The real reason Kate called the cops on Jon recently? She heard Jon was going out drinking and leaving the kids with babysitter Stephanie Santoro. [Radar Online]
• Jon was spotted wearing a shirt with the words "Lies lies lies lies." [Gatecrasher]
• On August 13, Jon and Kate's plus 8 — the children — staged a rebellion, refusing to be videotaped for the show. "The kids staged a sit-in — a revolt," Jon tells Life & Style. "They didn't want to work." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Now it comes out: Documents released by the court show that Chris Brown and Rihanna had a history of violence. She had slapped him during an argument three months before the February incident in which he assaulted her; his response was to shove her into a wall. A second fight, in January, involved an argument inside of an SUV in Barbados. Chris Brown "exited and broke the front driver and passenger side windows of the car. No one was injured during the incident." [People, TMZ]
• Before Chris Brown was sentenced, his record label CEO, a lawyer who has worked with Oprah and Brown's pastor all wrote letters to the judge. [TMZ]
• Chris Brown has been "depressed" since the assault on Rihanna. [TMZ]
• Court documents also show that in June, Chris Brown said that he was "ashamed and embarrassed" about the Rihanna beating. He wanted to plead guilty, but his lawyer, Mark Geragos, would not let him. Brown also told probation officers that he wanted to attend domestic violence counseling and "do it right." [TMZ]
• An official transcript of the incident between Chris and Rihanna is at the link; it is detailed and disturbing. Just a snippet: "As he drove, he continued to punch the victim in the face with his right hand while steering the vehicle with his left hand…
  [Brown] looked at [Rihanna] and said 'I'm going to beat the shit out of you when we get home! You wait and see!'" [TMZ]
• Kari Ann Peniche, whom you may have seen topless in Rebecca Gayheart and Eric Dane's nude video, says that she is a sex addict but not a madam. She says her hard drive has pictures of reputed madams because she once wrote a college paper about prostitution. She also says: "My biggest concern is my family. My brother is saying he wants to change his last name now. He goes, 'You're not my sister anymore.'" [E!]
• Six words: Neal Patrick Harris on American Idol. [Gatecrasher]
• Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer got together during the pilot of True Blood, but kept it very quiet. Costar Carrie Preston says: "They were very cool and professional about it." [People]
• John Mayer and Taylor Swift will be making music together, and that is not a euphemism. [Gatecrasher]
• Beyoncé has been named Billboard's Woman of The Year. [AP]
• Paula Abdul has gotten the boot from Ugly Betty "over her outrageous demands" — including a private jet. This report claims she will host a VH1 show called Divas instead and Kristen Johnston will take Paula's part on Ugly Betty. [The Sun]
• Danielle Staub from Real Housewives Of New Jersey needs a cover shot for her upcoming memoir, and is trying to get photographers to take a picture of her for free. A source says, "It's embarrasing and tacky!" [Gatecraasher]
• A "skripper" pal of Amber Rose claims that she got illegal injections from a "hood doctor" to make her butt bigger. [Media Takeout]
• Chelsea Handler and her boyfriend have broken up. But as you may know, her boyfriend is Ted Harbert, CEO of Comcast, aka her boss. He's moved out of the house and into a hotel. [Gatecrasher]
• Joe Francis is facing a criminal trial, and his defense team will try to legitimize Joe by linking the Girls Gone Wild mastermind to stars like Jennifer Aniston, Vince Vaughn and Jack Nicholson. Too bad Jen's name is misspelled in the presentation slide. [The Smoking Gun]
• Curious about Martina Navratilova's love life? Want to see the word "galimony" used in a sentence? Click the link! [Page Six]
• A&E is planning a reality series about the Jackson brothers. The network had already ordered a show before Michael Jackson died, but now the series will be expanded and focus on the band as they reunite as brothers — "underneath a cloud of tragedy." [NY Times]
• Comedy Central has been doing research on its fans and finds that viewers say that "people think I'm cool because I watch" Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. [NY Times]
• Drag performer Erickatoure Aviance went to a taping of the Wendy Williams show, but was told that she could not appear on camera or ask any questions because she was "in violation of the no-costumes dress code." Aviance said: "This is not a costume." And someone connected with the show said: "Well, it's a costume to us. We don't want the show to turn into Let's Make a Deal, where everyone comes in crazy costumes." Aviance was stunned: "So you're comparing me to a man in a gorilla suit?" Aviance notes: "I was wearing a ponytail piece and a bang piece. It was much less hair than Wendy was wearing and, p.s., much less hair than any of the other black women in the audience." Now Lonnie Burstein, the VP of the company behind the show, has issued an apology to Aviance and to GLAAD. [Advocate, Advocate]
• Susan Sarandon: Joining the cast of Oliver Stone's Wall Street 2: Electric Boogaloo. [Variety]
• Redmond O'Neal, son of Farrah Fawcett, has signed a reality show deal — brokered by his dad, Ryan O'Neal — that will chronicle hus strugle with addiction. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "Eddie Cibrian and Wife 'Both Happy'...Now That They're Getting Divorced." [E!]
• The Who's Pete Townshend has written a new musical, Floss, about the aging process. It's like, "Tommy can you hear me? Turn up your hearing aid!" [AP]
• Whatshername's new boyfriend tells her he loves her 50 million times a day, which seems excessive. [Daily Mail]
• "It was exhilaratingly humiliating. But I completely became giddy in a strange way the moment I put on the dress. Vanity quickly set in, and I thought to myself, 'I wish my belly was flatter.' Let's face it, I don't look great in a dress, but it's nice to hear I have nice legs." — Liev Schreiber on playing a transvestite in Taking Woodstock. Click for pic! [People]
• "The Runaways is absolutely not a biopic. It's not fact-for-fact. What they did was basically take elements from the Runaways story and created a parallel narrative. We're hoping it will be great. They exceeded our expectations with the casting. ... Even if it's not a huge movie, it's going to have a colossal effect on young girls playing rock 'n' roll, for sure. Kristen [Stewart] was so into it, into the whole vibe of doing this. I think she felt a weight and a responsibility to interpret it correctly. She was really serious about it and was watching me and asking me all sorts of question, from speech aspects to watching my body language, watching where I stood, watching my guitar playing. She really worked hard to get it right." — Joan Jett. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• "Everything in our movie, it's such a heightened version of reality. People don't just break up [in the films] – they break up and it literally kills you. It's not like you just say, 'Oh, I'm really depressed and crying.' I always had a really hard time figuring out, 'Am I doing enough? Do I look like I'm going to die?' My favorite line in the book is when I have to say to [Jacob], 'It's him; it's always been him!' Yeah, it killed me. It killed me." — New Moon star Kristen Stewart. [People]
• "I do get men trying to pick me up and it's funny because a year ago, when I was dressing like this, with a very avant-garde fashion sense, I think I intimidated men much more. It was funny the other day when I was wearing my cone head and this radio DJ was saying, 'Oh you're so sexy', when the mic was off. I thought, 'I can't believe that after a whole year, they finally think my cone head is sexy." — Lady Gaga. [Mirror]

• Surprise, surprise: Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are a "complete nightmare" for the people working on the Miss Universe pageant in the Bahamas, where Heidi is supposed to perform on Sunday night. An insider says:

"Heidi has missed many rehearsals… Spencer tried to demand that the hotel pay him to lay by the pool." Dear Miss Universe People: You have no one to blame but yourselves. [Page Six]

• BREAKING: Courtney Love caught in bed with a turtle. [The Sun]
• Renée Zellweger dared to attend a movie premiere without Bradley Cooper; he took his parents and not Renée to Alyssa Milano's wedding. Scandalous. [Page Six]
• Jon Gosselin visited kids with cancer at an NYC hospital on Tuesday, possibly in an attempt to rehabilitate his image? [Us]
• Authorities now suspect that reality show "star" Ryan Alexander Jenkins — suspected of killing his wife, Jasmine Fiore — crossed over the Canadian border on foot after driving his SUV to Blaine, Washington. [TMZ]
• Save the date: September 14. Whitney Houston will give her first full-length interview in almost seven years to… Oprah. Of course. As you may recall, in 2002, Whitney sat down with Diane Sawyer, and memorably declared: "Crack is cheap. I make too much money to ever smoke crack." [Mirror, NY Daily News]
• Venus and Serena Williams are in talks to become part owners in the Miami Dolphins. [AP]
• Magician David Copperfield has been sued for sexual assault. The woman is a 22-year-old fashion model and alleges that the incident happened when she was a guest on his private island in the Bahamas in 2007. She says he attacked and sexually assaulted her, threatening to kill her if she didn't go along. [TMZ]
• Jay Leno's new show will spotlight new young comedians. "I hope people become famous and get offered shows." But he won't just have "a bunch of white guys doing standup" — he plans to have a "diverse group," including women, African-Americans and other minorities. [AP]
• Will Paula Abdul return to American Idol? Focus groups may make that decision. "Fox loves focus groups," an insider says. "If Paula consistently scores far higher than any other person in her chair, they will feel compelled to make her an offer she can't refuse and make this deal happen." Another source says: "There will be four judges at American Idol come January. And that fourth judge will be Paula Abdul." [MSNBC]
• Paula Abdul's manager says that there have been "no discussions whatsoever about Idol." [LA Times]
• Amy Winehouse went out to dinner and then for drinks and the paparazzi took snaps of her a little tipsy on her way home and zoomed in on her nose and claim there's a "mystery substance" up her nose but honestly you can't see a damn thing. [Daily Mail]
• "Got Line Flu Amy?" [The Sun]
• "Oprah Winfrey and her favorite physician, "Dr. Oz," filed suit yesterday to shut down more than 500 Web sites that falsely claim the pair endorses the sites' diet pills and miracle cures." [NY Post]
• Russell Brand wears a top hat, dances in the streets and sings the lyrics "sexual rewards" in this new MTV VMA promo. [ONTD]
• Expect to see heavy cross-promotion between Project Runway and Harvey Weinstein-produced flick Nine. [Page Six]
• Pauly Shore pulled a Christian Bale and had an on-set meltdown while filming Brand Dead. Seems fake, but you be the judge. [TMZ, TMZ]
• A source says Jennifer Hudson thinks of her newborn child as a gift from beyond after her family was murdered: "She wasn't trying to get pregnant… She believes her mother played a part in sending this gift from God. She tells everyone her mother sent this baby to pull her through this." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Eva Longoria will star in a Mexican film about kidnapping, which means she will be in a Spanish-speaking role for the first time. [AP]
• Figure skater Brian Boitano is now a TV chef, with his Food Network show, What Would Brian Boitano Make? premiering Sunday. Turns out the Oylmpic gold medalist is a foodie, and the Food Network's VP of programming says his passion and command of cooking is "one of the biggest, happiest surprises I've gotten in my career." [LA Times]
• As mentioned yesterday, Leona Lewis tracks have been leaked onto the Internet. One was a song produced by Justin Timberlake. A police investigation is ongoing. [Daily Mail]
• Pete Doherty is planning on getting the Libertines back together, even if Carl "Biggles" Barat doesn't want to join. "If Biggles doesn't want to do it or gets cold feet or he thinks I'm still a crackhead, what am I going to do? Maybe I could reform the Libertines without him, like he did without me. I wouldn't really want to, but you've got to pay the bills. I'll put an advert in the NME: 'Carlos lookalike required.'" [Independent]
• District 9 sequel? Maybe. It's already being referred to as District 10. [NY Daily News]
• Nora Jones is about to release her first album in three years; this column claims she has a new look and a new sound. (Cute hair!) [USA Today]
• Phil Spector has been writing letters from prison: He fears for his safety, enjoys visits from his wife and would like to be moved to "a better prison." [USA Today]
• "I loved New York, even back then (1980s graffiti-scarred, pre-Giuliani New York). It was such an overwhelming animal. I loved the energy and attitude of the place. It's great for being productive and creative." —Eric Bana, who's on the cover of Men's Health. [Just Jared]
• "It's a lot of material to fill. It is a lot of jokes. This is lot more work. A lot more work. You're doing probably three shows worth of comedy every night. On The Tonight Show we had maybe two talking guests and a band. That's not a lot of work for me. But this will be a lot more work." — Jay Leno on his new show. [Reuters]
• "I remember sensing that my mother was holding something back from me. I used to think I had done something wrong because she could be so distant. I knew there was something going on that I didn't know about and because I was a child I thought it was my fault. It took me years to work out that she had actually been protecting me from racism… There were comments and my mother kept all that away from us and to do that she had be a barrier between us and them." — Thandie Newton, who says she and her brother were the only mixed-race kids in their area when growing up. [Daily Express]
• "Before I played Ari Gold, I was in probably 40 movies and playing a lot of very soft-spoken characters, also-rans, best friends and whatnot. That was all easily forgotten as soon as I put Ari's power suit on." — Jeremy Piven. [Time]
• "[The culture here] isn't based on anything other than ‘Who got a boob job?' That's what I feel L.A. is about. A lot of people here want to be everyone but themselves." — Mila Kunis. [Just Jared]
• "Oh my God! I was on the set of Two and a Half Men when I heard. I had all these texts, and at first I thought it was a hoax. What struck me was I hadn't seen him in years, and when I think about it, I really owe an enormous amount of my career to him. And it made me sad because it made me realize that you've really got to let people know it when you're grateful to them. They won't always be here and I regret that I didn't do that. But I have very fond memories. He was a lovely guy and knew exactly what he wanted. He'll be greatly missed." — Jon Cryer on the death of John Hughes. [Reuters]
• "I was talking to my friend about [whether monogamy] is feasible, is it realistic? I resolved that there isn't really a better model. We just can't shake monogamy. It definitely demands a kind of rigor and discipline and selflessness. But it's also fun." — Claire Danes, to BlackBook. [Page Six]
• "I like clever folks. I like people who are concerned with [what] the path they leave behind them looks like… Empathy, humor, wit, self reliance and honesty. [Being attractive] doesn't hurt." —Renée Zellweger, on what she looks for in a man. [People]

• Oprah's been gushing about meeting Shawn Carter:

"Jay-Z is my new best friend!" Oprah told Gayle King. "He was so charming and delightful - and he smelled so good." [People]

• If I'm reading this story correctly, Lily Allen's "brickie boyfriend" ran away down the street to avoid being snapped by the paparazzi and she was left holding some Indian food and a pair of pants. [The Sun]
• The latest on Jon and Kate Gosselin is that he's still trying to appear on that show Divorced Dad's Club; which does not make TLC happy. And they're not happy about his conduct lately; apparently his contract has a "morals clause" that does not include being seen going in and out of bars and drinking. Kate's been "pulling up the slack" Jon's created. Plus! All the money made last season from Jon & Kate Plus 8 went into a joint account. Kate put some into a college fund for the kids; Jon spent his share. "Kate's people say Jon is making money
  on the side by selling pictures and stories of him and the kids to the tabloids." [TMZ]
• "When pictures emerged of Kate Moss looking haggard as she sunbathed in St Tropez, nobody was more shocked than the supermodel herself… now she has planned a '10 years younger' health plan to regain her youthful complexion." [Daily Mail]
• Survivor winner Richard Hatch was sent to jail after doing an interview for the Today show, even though the interview was cleared by the Bureau of Prisons. (Hatch had been on house arrest.) [AP]
• Naomi Campbell, Queen Rania, and Jacques Chirac are in Saint-Tropez, and you are not. [Page Six]
• Pregnant Penelope Cruz: Avoiding the spotlight. [Page Six]
• Mariah Carey's album has been pushed back to September 29, which means that she'll miss the Grammy cutoff date by just one day and won't be in the running. She also won't hit shelves the same day as Whitney Houston's new album, which comes out September 1.
• You know how Dr. Conrad Murray has released a video statement? Columnist Courtney Hazlett points out that Michael Jackson really pioneered the scripted, recorded statement. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "Michael Jackson 'self-harmed' to get painkillers"… "He'd bang his head against the wall, hit his fists and arms against furniture, anything to cause a cut or bruise." [Mirror]
• Michael Jackson's funeral could cost $50,000 when you add in police and pther city services. [TMZ]
• Cue screams: Joe Jonas will be one of the celebrity judges on American Idol. Victoria Beckham, Mary J. Blige and Shania Twain will also appear in the spot vacated by Paula Abdul. [People]
• Yesterday, a judge ruled that Paris Hilton won't have to pay investors from failed flick Pledge This, who were claiming she didn't promote the movie enough. [Page Six]
• "Russell Brand shows off sex moves." [UKPA, Twitter]
• Ask Katy Perry a question her manager doesn't like, and he will pull the plug on your interview. Literally. Like, the lights will go out. Despite this, Katy was "delightful." [News.com.au]
• Inglourious Basterds prequel? "If the movie proves to be very popular, then we'll do it," says Quentin Tarantino. [Gatecrasher]
• Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush went to dinner together on Monday — strolling into a Ruth's Chris Steak House in New Orleans. Back together? Just friends? [People]
• "Kourtney Kardashian Agonized Over Whether to Keep Her Baby." [People
• Susan Sarandon's daughter Eva Amurri took pole-dancing lessons to appear as a stripper in the third season of Californication. "I have such a respect now for women who do this. It's very athletic, I mean, they're athletes!" she says. And her mom came to a few classes: "We didn't, like, do it together, although I'm sure that's a nice visual for people." Of appearing naked on TV, Amurri says: "You basically see boobs and butt. It's the same as you would see on a European beach. It's nothing scandalous… Men are naked as much as the women are on that show, which I really like. If you're going to be naked, at least it's equal-opportunity nudity." [Observer]
• Bruce Willis and wife Emma Heming took a tour of L.A.'s "megapricey" Carlyle Residences, where apartments start at $2.9 million and penthouses go for as much as $15 million. [E!]
• A Leona Lewis track leaked on to the Internet, and Simon Cowell, quite naturally, called the cops: Looks like her record label was being targeted by hackers. [The Sun]
• Jon Hamm has joined the cast of Sucker Punch, an action fantasy flick with Vanessa Hudgens, Abbie Cornish and Carla Gugino, among others. It's set in the 1950s and directed by 300's Zack Snyder. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• American Idol's David Cook, 26, has an "older woman" in his life: She's 35. [Page Six]
• Liam and Noel Gallagher no longer speak to each other. "He doesn't like me and I don't like him, that's it," Liam says. Nevertheless! Oasis will headline the V festival this weekend. [Independent]
• "Mindy McCready Wouldn't Leave My Daughter's House Says Kari Ann's Mom." [Radar Online]
• Rhea Perlman and her daughter, Lucy DeVito, will appear in Love, Loss And What I Wore, an Off-Broadway production produced by Nora and Delia Ephron. [Variety]
• The surviving members the iconic British comedy troupe Monty Python will be presented with a special BAFTA honor this fall. [UPI]
• "I'm a fan of the traditional Speedo. I think it's time to bring back the ass cleavage." — Vivica. A. Fox. [WWD]
• "This is the first time someone gave me a part where I'm strong, where I'm the engine, the motor of the scene. Many times actresses are an accessory to a story line. To be handed intelligent dialogue was nice. It was a very new experience for me." — Diane Kruger, on Inglourious Basterds. [Reuters]
• "I love the way my mother wore clothes. She used to cut her own hair and wore very little make up and she just did things differently. She used to wear odd, different-colour argyle socks but then she also wore beautiful British tailored suits and little tea dresses with platform shoes. That's sort of how people dress now so she was very modern and ahead of her time in many ways. She really didn't give a damn about what people thought and back then it was all about conforming. It really wasn't the done thing to reflect your own personality through your clothes. She was also an amazing photographer. Much of her work launched Rolling Stone magazine and at the same time she was very modest. If she had met the Queen she would probably have been more interested in talking to the butler. That's just the way she was." — Stella McCartney on late mother Linda, to Harper's Bazaar. [Daily Express]
• "It's awesome and has great margaritas and tacos... How fun is that? I just go and sit on a bar stool and it's fun, like, 'Oh, I'm hangin' here at my place.'" — Renee Zellweger, on the East Hampton taco bar, Blue Parrot, she co-owns. [Daily Express]
• "I'd be out there, and it would be scorching hot, so I would take off all of my clothes and garden. And then I would jump in the pool and swim — and I always get in the pool naked. I used to spend a lot of time with Woody Harrelson, and he's not afraid to get naked." — Alicia Silverstone on gardening naked. [Page Six]
• "[Our relationship] was amazing… [But] Jon said he couldn't be seen having a girlfriend, so he told me to drive to a neighbor's house after midnight, when the kids were asleep. He said he'd pick me up in his four-wheeler, take me to his house and drop me off again at 6 a.m." — Kate Major on seeing Jon Gosselin, with whom she claims she had three sexual encounters. More in Midweek Madness. [Gatecrasher via Life & Style]
• "HIV/Aids is a huge pandemic that to be fair, to be honest, governments have not responded to effectively enough. Churches can do a tremendous amount, and I know they do, but then again they can do tremendous harm, because when the Pope goes to a country in Africa and tells them that they shouldn't be using condoms when we know that HIV is a sexually transmitted disease, I don't think that makes any sense at all. I'm comfortably wealthy, white, educated — I'm one of the lucky ones. I have had good healthcare and my children have good healthcare. I want that for everybody, I want people to have fundamental access to the most basic things. Everybody can do something, I really believe that, that each of us have a sphere of influence, whether it be your friends, your family or workplace, or colleagues." — Annie Lennox, at the Festival of Politics at the Scottish Parliament in Edinburgh. [BBC News]

• While filming a movie in London, a female fan snuck past security guards and climbed into the back seat of a car with Colin Farrell. A source says, "Colin went crazy and started screaming like someone had shot him..."

• "... This woman came from nowhere and tried to jump in the car while they were shooting a scene... He was shouting at the girl to keep away. It really freaked him out." [ONTD]
• 50 Cent is planning to hold a surprise concert near the Queens, NY projects where he grew up and was shot. Police and residents are concerned because there is no way to secure the area. "They're gonna take a shot at him, and they're either gonna hit him or they're gonna miss him and hit some poor, innocent kid or grandmother." say a source. [N.Y. Post]
• A studio rep is denying the Daily Mirror's report that Brad Pitt will appear in Sherlock Holmes as Dr. Moriarty. "The report in today's London Mirror is completely inaccurate. Brad Pitt is not joining the cast of Sherlock Holmes and we're extremely pleased with the production of the film," said the rep. "We've scheduled a few days on set to shoot a couple of additional scenes, obtain pick-up shots, and perfect some of the visual effects elements, all of which is standard filmmaking practice." [Us]
• Lady Gaga says she's going to tone down her image when her tour stops in Israel. At a press conference today she "covered her skimpy top with a black leather jacket emblazoned with a Star of David made of silver spikes on the back." [Mirror]
• At the link, Lady Gaga poses for Out magazine in nothing but combat boots with a skeleton. [The Sun]
• Kristen Stewart took the title of Dazed & Confused magazine a little too seriously in this cover shoot. [ONTD]
• Joe Jackson says Michael Jackson will finally be buried at Forest Lawn Cemetery on August 29, which would have been his 51st birthday. [TMZ]
• Michael Jackson's doctor, Arnold Klein, is being sued for eviction from his medical offices in Beverly Hills, but it looks like the case will be dropped. He was late paying July's rent but came up with the $28,000 after the lawsuit was filed. [TMZ]
• A Dancing With The Stars producer explains why Tom DeLay was cast on the new season: "He's a fairly divisive figure in as much as Democrats will probably be hoping he fails and Republicans will probably be melting down the phones to keep him in," Green admits. "I love that kind of level of engagement.... Tom loves dancing. He dances with his wife. He watches Dancing with the Stars religiously. For him it was a no brainer, but for us it was an absolute shock." [People]
• Kelly Osbourne says of being on the new season of Dancing With The Stars, "I'm so excited, but I cannot tell you how terrified I am. Dancing to me is like something I've always really wanted to be able to do, but have never had the confidence." [People]
• Shania Twain may guest judge the next round of American Idol auditions in Chicago. [People]
• Joel McHale's going to love this: Ryan Seacrest was photographed taping a segment for E! while standing on a box. [TMZ]
• Breaking: Tyra Banks is abandoning her weave. She Tweeted: "Guess What! I'm rockin' my REAL hair on my talk show September 8th... No fake hair at all! Will be the hair coming out of my scalp! 4 all 2 C! ... no ponytails, no ballet bun head. hair will be out and free! "[People]
• During an interview about The Zoe Project Rachel Zoe said of her first season on TV, "I thought, ‘oh my god do I really look like that everyday?' I need less hair, less makeup, less everything. I can't even watch it. It was way too much of everything. Why didn't anyone tell me I looked like that?" She added, "Not one of my clients is a size zero. It's not the norm." [Black Book Magazine]
• Steve Harvey has joined Good Morning America. He'll be doing reports on family and relationships starting this Wednesday. [AP]
• Tom Cavanagh's wife Maureen gave birth to their third child, James Joseph Cavanagh, on August 5. [People]
• Khloe Kardashian had a possibly cancerous mole removed today. A source said: "Khloe was at her dermatologist for a mole removal ... she has a history of skin cancer and got one removed today." [TMZ]
• The next season of Gossip Girl features polo matches, a movie premiere, and a trip to Sotheby's. There are more spoilers here: [People]
• While speaking at the convention of the Young Republican Federation of California, Carrie Prejean said of the Miss USA debacle, "I don't have any regrets. It's actually been a blessing in disguise." [Ventura County Star]
• Christina Aguilera said of her new album, "I think I'm most proud of this work than I've ever been, just because I worked with so many amazing and incredibly talented people... [Santigold and I] did a lot of work on this record together, and she's just a complete gem. She's truly just such a talented force to be reckoned with. And I so enjoyed her company, and I think we really created some super crazy magic together. I got a chance to sort of write with Santigold, M.I.A., Ladytron — artists that I really love." [MTV]
• Miley Cyrus has said she doesn't think there will be another Hannah Montana movie, but her co-star Emily Osment says, "I don't think anyone wants to see Hannah Montana ever end, so I think we need to do that," says Emily Osment, who plays Lilly Truscott. "We need to do something like Hannah Montana Goes to London or Hannah Montana on Ice!" [E!]
• "I would love to do some (theatre), either in the West End or on Broadway, but I am trying to get up the courage first by trying to see as many plays as I can. I think I am some way off going on stage. I hold theatre acting in such high esteem that it scares me." — Kate Bosworth[Daily Express]
• The premiere of Kourtney & Khloe Take Miami got 2.67 million viewers on Sunday, making it E!'s most watched season premiere in seven years. [Media Week]
• 2.76 million people watched Mad Men's season premiere last night, a 33 percent increase from last season's premiere. [Media Week]
• "There's some other great episodes coming up for Sal. It progresses. What's great about the show is that there are quite a few characters. And just when you think you're going to find out more about this person, there's another interesting door that's opened or closet door that's shut." — Bryan Batt, who plays Sal on Mad Men [TV Guide]
• Grace Slick of Jefferson Airplane says of performing at Woodstock, "What we talked about backstage was probably moronic, because everybody was loaded. I'm not saying that to be funny. That was true! We were dropped off to go on stage at 9 [p.m.]. We didn't go on stage until 6 o'clock the next morning. So we were all on that platform all night. We had lots of cocaine, and alcohol, and marijuana, and whatever else was going around — and that's the '60s. And that is not necessarily a good idea. It's not necessarily a bad idea. It just is. ... I am what is called a nonpracticing alcoholic, which means I don't drink, but I'm still an alcoholic. But if I hadn't had alcohol, I wouldn't ever have gotten up on stage and leapt around like that." [CNN]
• In the new issue of More, Robin Wright Penn says she doesn't plan to reconcile with Sean Penn. "I hit that crossroad a while ago-for Robin, the ‘I know what I don't want' was flashing in neon lights," she says, "I have no regrets. I, we, have two amazing children we raised together." [More]

• Lily Allen was performing in Helsinki, Finland when she burst into tears. Before the show, she Tweeted:

"Fell over badly last night and I've really fucked my back up. Just had an injection in my bum. How am I gonna get through tonight's gig?" Throwing out your back is terrible! So is Lily's hair/makeup in these pix. [Daily Mail]

• Bill Maher said he once saw Brad Pitt roll the most perfect joint he had ever seen. "I'm an artist," Brad agreed. [NY Daily News]
• Brad Pitt is being added to Guy Ritchie's Sherlock Holmes as the detective's arch enemy. The character of Moriarty was missing from a rough cut of the film, and movie execs insisted the famous nemesis be added to the flick. Ritchie called old pal Pitt (who was in Snatch) and he'll film this week in London. [Mirror]
• The Dancing With The Stars season 9 cast: Revealed! Macy Gray, Melissa Joan Hart, Kathy Ireland, Mya, Iron Chef host Mark Dacascos, Ashley Hamilton, former Dallas Cowboy Michael Irvin, Donny Osmond, Tom DeLay (?!?!?!), Olympic swimming gold medalist Natalie Coughlin, model Joanna Krupa, Debi Mazar, Kelly Osbourne, Aaron Carter, Chuck Liddell, and snowboarder Louie Vito. [ABC News]
• Jennifer Aniston complimented a woman pole-dancing on the set of The Bounty, saying she looked like a professional. The lady replied, "I am!" [Gatecrasher]
• George Clooney plans to sue a photographer who climbed over the wall of his Lake Como home and took pictures of a 13-year-old girl changing in a guest room, as well as snaps of Clooney and gf Elisabetta Canalis. Cloons says: "I don't know about the law in the United States, but in Italy it's illegal for photographers to climb over my wall. He'll also press charges against two magazines who published the photos. [Gatecrasher]
• Beyoncé: Secretly taking ballet classes at Alvin Ailey School of Dance. [Gatecrasher]
• Jon Gosselin went to a party thrown by a student at Parsons School Of Design. He only stayed for 20 minutes, but arrived with a paparazzo and left with two female students. Keepin' it classy. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Even though Paula Abdul won't be on Dancing With The Stars, she MIGHT get a ABC show of her own. Paula's Wacky Clappy Variety Show? [TMZ]
• Madonna performed in Warsaw on Saturday even though it was a holy date, the Assumption of Mary feast. National group Pro Polonia called her a "crypto-Satanist," which is not very crypto. [Daily Express]
• Bob Dylan was on tour and took a walk in Long Branch, NJ, when he was stopped by cops; a resident had reported someone "wandering" around the neighborhood. A cop asked him for I.D. "I don't think she was familiar with his entire body of work," says a town official. [NY Daily News]
• Jennifer Lopez is looking pretty hot on the cover of InStyle and inside she's saying stuff like: "There's nothing as huge as giving birth to another human being and having to be responsible for another life. There's you before kids, and there's you after kids – and they're not the same you." [People]
• Mark Wahlberg was rushed to the hospital on Friday morning after suffering smoke inhalation on the set of The Frighter. A smoke machine was being used for atmosphere and Wahlberg breathed in too much. [RadarOnline, Daily Express]
• Amy Winehouse's divorce from Blake Fielder-Civil will be finalized at the end of the month, but Blake allegedly told a reporter: "I want to take her out for dinner and propose again. I hope that within five minutes we'll be planning where we're next going to get married." [Daily Mail]
• Blake also says: "She is looking beautiful and healthy now and it reminds me of the old Amy." [News Of The World]
• Amy will appear on Strictly Come Dancing in September as a backup singer for her 13-year-old goddaughter Dionne Bromfield, and there's a cute picture of them hugging at the link. [Mirror]
• Bodysnarky opening sentence of the day: "She's looking thinner than ever, but there's one part of Victoria Beckham that looks set to put on a lot of weight very quickly - her wallet. Posh Spice has landed a £3million contract on American Idol…" [Daily Mail]
• Joe Simpson is pushing Jessica Simpson as the perfect replacement for Paula Abdul on American Idol. [Page Six]
• Saturday night after a Fall Out Boy show, Ashlee Simpson and husband Pete Wentz were at a bar when Ashlee got wasted, yelled at Pete and made him leave his own party early. Charming! [Perez]
• Jane Fonda, 71, might marry 67-year-old Richard Perry next year, which would be her fourth wedding. [Daily Express]
• So many contradictory stories about MJ. We first heard that he was strong during rehearsals. This report claims: "Michael Jackson was so weak in his final days he needed to be SPOON-FED meals, his make-up artist has revealed." [The Sun]
• "Michael Jackson's body has been moved in secret to a new crypt, where it's been frozen." [Daily Express]
• This report claims that Michael Jackson will be buried on what would have been his 51st birthday, August 29. Or so says Joe Jackson. [Gatecrasher]
• You know how Michael Phelps was in a car accident last week? Turns out he was driving with an expired license and told cops he had a beer about an hour before the crash. [TMZ]
• George Michael on his car smashup: "Neither of us was charged because we were both stone cold sober. We both think the other is to blame so this is just an insurance fight." [E!]
• Eva Longoria is expanding her restaurant business, and soon she'll have a Beso Vegas and "Besitos" in ariports. [People]
• Kristin Bauer, who plays Pam on True Blood, thinks Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer will have kids together since Anna is "great" with Stephen's kids from previous relationships. [E!]
• Tons of Gossip Girl spoilers at the link, and yes, there are details on Chuck and Blair — with a HOT picture of the Bass. [People]
• Matthew Settle — Gossip Girl's Rufus — skateboards through New York during rush hour. [NY Times]
• Actress Aishwarya Rai has a chest infection with flu-like symptoms. [Times Of India]
• Anna Friel will play Holly Golightly in an upcoming stage production of Breakfast At Tiffany's in London. [Times Of London]
• The Office's Amy Ryan — who plays Holly Flax — is pregnant. [E!]
• An excerpt of Alana Stewart's book, My Journey With Farrah: A Story Of Life, Love And Friendship, at the link. [Daily Mail]
• Bananarama's back. [Daily Mail]
• Aberdeen, Washington has the title of one hometown hero Kurt Cobain's songs, "Come As You Are," posted at the entrance of town. An unofficial park has been established next to the bridge under which Cobain hung out and wrote songs. [LA Times]
• Blind item! "Which D-list relationship recently ended when the gal found out her man's secret vice was boy-on-boy action?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I can't tell you how far from a gold-digger I am. I've never dated a rich man in my life. I've always wondered how girl friends of mine could even ask their boyfriends to buy them clothes." — Samantha Burke, who was impregnated by Jude Law. [Daily Mail]
• "I thought it was an incredibly sexual role and a challenge to be an 'older woman' in the film. Roles always challenge me in some personal way and that was one I wanted to overcome: 'Wow, all of a sudden, you've become the "Older Woman" in a movie. Let's give the younger ones a run for their money.'" — Anne Heche on playing opposite Ashton Kutcher in Spread. [LA Times]
• "This season, I really want to get back to the guerilla style I used to have. I want to try to get back to my roots and make it crazy. In the first episode, I get buried alive in a coffin, six feet under 5,000 pounds of snow. I want people to realize I'm not complacent because I have a little bit of success and a little money. Hopefully in return I can raise the level of the art form to the level other art forms receive, like the cinema.… I just really loved the ability as a kid to do something that adults didn't understand. It was like power. Then I realized as a teenager that there was more to the art of magic than how you did it. It's trying to connect to somebody." — Criss Angel, whose Mindfreak is back on A&E for its 5th season. [LA Times]
• "I like everything about filming except the acting. In recent years I've had really bad attacks where I totally froze up. I thought 'Well, if I am going to get stage fright, then I am packing it in.'" — Hugh Grant. [Daily Mail]
• "I think anybody that's touring is going to have a carbon footprint. I think it's probably unfair to single out rock 'n' roll. There's many other things that are in the same category but as it happens we have a program to offset whatever carbon footprint we have." — The Edge, annoyed by critics of U2's travel. [Daily Express]
• "The Harry Potter books are not explicitly religious in the way that C.S. Lewis's Narnia tales are, but there is a strong sense of evil, and issues of good and evil are not only philosophical issues but also theological issues." —University of Massachusetts-Amherst philosophy professor Gareth B. Matthews. [UPI]
• "I think when I started I was working in the vein of The Dirty Dozen or The Devil's Brigade. But now watching the completed film with audiences, I don't think there has ever been a World War II movie like it. That can be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on your taste, but it's definitely a thing." — Quentin Tarantino on Inglourious Basterds. [WSJ]
• "Don Cheadle could play me, but I hope they just go with the obvious casting choice." — Richard Belzer, when asked who would play Richard Belzer if his crime novel about a a New York City police detective named Richard Belzer were made into a TV show. [Publishers Weekly]
• "I've had my heart broken before. Truly, truly broken. But when I look back at me in my heartbroken phase, it's pretty hilarious, because it felt so much more extreme than it really was. One of the things I love about (500) Days of Summer is that it doesn't make light of what we go through in romances, but it is honest about it and shows it for what it is, which is often profoundly funny." — Joseph Gordon-Levitt. [Guardian]
• "The speed of news creates so much vertigo. I am a very private person." — Penelope Cruz. [Telegraph]
• "We kind of rolled our eyes at the idea of having to make out." — Amanda Seyfried on her Jennifer's Body girl-on-girl scene with Megan Fox. [Page Six via Entertainment Weekly]
• "I remember really vividly kneeling by my bed as a nine-year-old, saying my prayers and asking God to give me boobs that were so big that if I laid on my back I wouldn't be able to see my feet. Eventually that request was granted. A bit of divine intervention displays the power of prayer. Every time before I go on stage, or go out where I know there will be a lot of press, I take a skipping rope and spend about ten minutes, fully clothed, skipping. I look like Rocky. This way I can ensure that everything is firmly in place and I won't have a wardrobe malfunction. Don't want those boulders doing a show of their own." — Katy Perry. [The Sun]

• Last night Jon and Kate Gosselin got into a screaming match after Kate showed up unannounced at their Pennsylvania home and Jon wouldn't let her in. It seems Kate was upset that Jon's rumored fling Stephanie Santoro was babysitting.

• "They were screaming at each other," says a source. "He refused to open the gate." Someone called 911 and police escorted Kate off the property. She checked into a Days Inn nearby. [E!]
• Kate called the police to the hotel when she checked out at 4 a.m. and had them carry her luggage and walk her to her car. Four police cars came and officers shined a flashlight in every car in the parking lot to look for paparazzi. Two photographers caught up with Kate as she drove down the highway, but she turned her headlights off and drove about 95 mph to get away from them. [Radar Online]
• Jon gave an interview to paparazzi standing on the other side of his fence and explained, "She tried to come home yesterday and I wouldn't let her in the gate and I guess she called the police." Jon says the police said they'd have to work it out themselves and Kate, "tried to 'cry it up' with the cops and it didn't work. They said, 'You have to leave.'" Jon says Kate was upset because he had called Stephanie Santoro to babysit. "I have no idea [why she was unhappy]. I guess [because] she didn't have approval," said Jon. Perhaps it's because there have been reports that Jon picked up the 23-year-old cocktail waitress/babysitter in a bar and there are photos of her coming out of his room wearing the same clothes as the night before? [People]
• Chris Brown leaked a single from his new album called "Changed Man." What could he be referring to in these lyrics? "What you do when the truth isn't quite enough?/They looking at you telling you we need to break it up... You need to choose what you do 'cause me and you in love/ But I'mma make it up to you and show the world I'm a changed man....You mean that much to me/ I don't want to be done/I'm doing all that I can/ and everybody hates Chris/they could never understand." [Socialite LIfe]
• Chris Brown's rep claims the song is actually old and doesn't appear on the new album. In either case, you can listen to it here: [Rolling Stone]
• Jennifer Aniston will do her own singing in her upcoming film The Goree Girls, the true story of a group of female prisoners who form a radio radio country western band in the '40s. "She can sing," says the movie's director, Michael Sucsy. "And she's going to learn how to play the Dobro." [E!]
• Robert Pattinson has no manners because he didn't hold a taxi door open for Kristen Stewart and he allowed her to get in first. How dare he. [E!]
• Kristen Stewart says of the rumors that she's having Robert Pattinson's baby, "It's so absurd. I walk out of my trailer with my pants undone - and they think I'm pregnant? I mean, really? They think I'm pregnant? Come on! Like, dude, I don't get it." [Daily Express]
• Mischa Barton dared to wearing shorts that exposed her "dimply thighs." [Daily Mail]
• Mary J. Blige will be a guest judge on American Idol. [People]
• Victoria Beckham went to Boston to watch a second round of American Idol auditions. Her rep says, "There are no talks of her being a permanent judge. She has Fashion Week coming up and she is focused on that. They asked her back because it went so well and she was so natural with the judges and the contestants." [Daily Mail]
• Adam Lambert wears a puffy black vest and matching scarf over a shimmery top in this photo from the cover shoot for his new album. [Dlisted]
• Bryan Singer may cast Justin Timberlake in his film reboot of Battlestar Galactica, not to be confused with Ron D. Moore's TV reboot of Battlestar Galactica. Frak. [Just Jared]
• Omarosa is entering the United Theological Seminary in Ohio to study to be a minister. [CBS News]
• Comedy Central has cancelled Reno 911 after six seasons. The show's creator/star Thomas Lennon Tweeted: "Reno 911! was cancelled at 1:30 pm today. Won't be wearing the shorts again." [The Hollywood Reporter]
• It seems the musical Spider-Man, Turn Off the Dark really isn't happening as Evan Rachel Wood and other cast members have been released from their contracts. Now Wood's agents are scrambling to get her into movies she turned down to play Mary Jane. [N.Y. Magazine]
• Denzel Washington may executive produce a TV show about a gang member who becomes a cop. [Daily Express]
• Levi Johnston on if he'd ever pose nude: "It depends on the money, man. It's gotta be right for that." [Just Jared]
• Sarah Chalke and her fiance Jamie Afifi are expecting their first child. [Just Jared]
• Amy Ryan of The Office is epecting her first child with fiancé Eric Slovin. [People]
• Kendra Baskett got a shoulder length haircut. She explained on her blog: "So the other day I realized I needed a new look so I decided to go with the mommy haircut. I chopped off my hair to my shoulders!!!!! AHHHHHHH LOL. I really like it…it's so much easier to manage and in a few months I'm definitely not going to have much time to deal with my hair so this is definitely a great change :)" [Just Jared]
• Kourtney Kardashian, who is five months pregnant says she realized something was amiss when she was, "really nauseous, like, suddenly…not just in the morning. I would have to eat Saltines at all times in the day," and that her breasts became "huge and they were so sore." [Just Jared]
• Here's a compilation of Jon Hamm's pre-Mad Men work. [Buzzfeed]
• The men of Sterling Cooper (minus Jon Hamm) will be on The Soup tonight to promote the Mad Men premiere on Sunday. Check out the clip here: [E!]
• It's easy for Mad Men to incorporate products placement, but advertisers say whether it's successful or not depends on the brand. Heineken, Cadillac, Utz, US Airways, London Fog, and Smirnoff have all be featured on the show, but one marketing consultant says, "this does not work for every brand. If you are Maidenform, which has a more dated, Grandma's-bra image in the minds of women, showing torpedo bras and girdles only reinforces this image in absence of some sort of follow-up messaging that screams ‘today.'" [N.Y. Magazine]
• "I'm not trying to clean my image to make anyone happy. I could have gone the route of the Jonas Brothers. Those guys can't live their lives freely. They have to put out this image that's totally fake." — Trace Cyrus, Miley's brother. [Celebuzz]
• "I've never been one to paint myself up Hollywood style-I'm just not good at that. I don't have a healthy dose of that kind of vanity although I wish I did because then you know how to be cute when you need to be cute." — Jennifer Garner [E!]
• Pete Wentz says of his nude photo scandal in 2006, "Well, I handled it pretty terribly for the first 48 hours. I mean, I quit my band and everything. But then what I realized is that it's not the worst thing on the planet that's ever gonna happen. [I] apologized to my mom, realized that the best way to not have pictures on the Internet is to never take the pictures at all, and then made fun of it." [Socialite Life]
• "I definitely got doughy. I started eating like crazy and drinking dark beer. Between meals on set, I'd eat a No. 1 value meal at McDonald's and then Doritos on top of it. It was absolute heaven. Now I'm the Sexiest Man Alive's chunky cousin." -Matt Damon on gaining weight for The Informant [N.Y. Magazine]
• "At one point in the movie Brad and I get kidnapped together and we're in the back of a truck. We're shooting it for three hours and it comes to the time to really know Brad Pitt, not just meet him. He's the greatest guy in the world, asking questions, making polite conversation. He's like, 'So, how's The Office going? How was it like moving from Boston to Los Angeles?' And I'm like, 'Well Brad ... ', just so comfortable and it occurs to me, 'Oh my God, it's going to be my turn to ask questions next and I don't know what to ask Brad Pitt that doesn't feel like you're some tabloid reporter! Like, 'How's the girlfriend? How's the being Brad Pitt thing?' In the end I was like, 'How's things going?'" - B.J. Novak on talking to Brad Pitt on the set of Inglourious Basterds [N.Y. Magazine]

• Victoria Beckham had her first day on the set of American Idol on Friday and a source says: "It didn't go well." Why ever not?

"She tried to hard to be 'nice,' but came off as icy and wooden," a source revealed. Plus: Contestants were disappointed not to see Paula on the panel. [Radar Online]

• Before she started judging, Victoria Beckham told Ryan Seacrest: "I'm going to try hard to pout and not shatter the illusion that I'm a moody cow, but I don't know if I can - I'm just so happy." [Daily Mail]
• Meanwhile, ABC has reached out to Paula Abdul about joining Dancing With The Stars. as a judge or a contestant. [Variety]
• Olivia Newton-John's former boyfriend, Patrick McDermott, presumed dead since 2005, is alive in Mexico and wishes to be left alone. He reportedly owes back child support to his ex-wife, which may be one of the reasons he disappeared. [Daily Mail]
• Behold: A picture of Real Housewives Kim Zolciak with her "Big Poppa." [TMZ]
• Jon Gosselin will sit down for an interview with E!, and react to whatever Kate Gosselin says on the Today show today. So there's a Jon special on E! tonight — and tomorrow night, a full interview. [E!]
• Kate Major continues to attempt to be relevant. [E!]
• Jeremy Piven and Chris Kattan got into a screaming match backstage at MTV on Thursday: Kattan said "So, what are you here to promote, your Broadway play?" and Piven said Well, what are you here to promote? Mango?" Tempers flared. Doors slammed. Obscenities were yelled. Funny dudes can't take jokes? [Gatecrasher]
• Sparkle vamp Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart were spotted at a Bobby Long concert in L.A. on Thursday night. Because their love is destiny, people! And what is a sparkle vamp without a ladylove? According to this report: "After the show, a cab spirited them off into the night." [ET]
• "Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart heat up with low-key date nights and hotel sleepovers." [NY Daily News]
• Pattinson had a low-key night out… not in a Manhattan hot spot. On Long Island. [Page Six]
• A man accused of sending death threats to Beyoncé and Jay-Z will have to undergo a mental evaluation, duh. [Daily Express]
• "America's other first couple: Beyoncé and Jay-Z are black America's second most famous couple: young, rich and with a direct line to the White House." [Times Of London]
• Is Guy Ritchie dating Iron Man actress Mellany Gandara? [Daily Express]
• Katherine Jackson's lawyer L. Londell McMillan says: "She's got her grandchildren, they're set. She's starting to rock and roll. She's getting her grandma swagger back. But she has been busy trying to make sure that these children will be provided for." [People]
• Mark Lester, who was in the 1968 film Oliver!, and is the godfather of Michael Jackson's kids, says he could be the biological father of Paris Jackson. This paper puts a picture of Paris side by side with a picture of Lester's daughter and survey says: Probably not. But does Paris have long ears like Arnold Klein? [Daily Mail]
• "Longtime Michael Jackson friend Mark Lester is not the father of Jackson's daughter, nor is he claiming paternity, despite a tabloid report indicating Lester says he's Paris Jackson's biological dad, sources tell People." [People]
• A source says that Michael Jackson was super excited about his upcoming tour. "He even said to me on several occasions, 'I am going to give everything I have. He even said, I'll die on the stage if I have to. It gives me the chills thinking about it now." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Michael Jackson's body was finally buried at Forest Lawn Cemetery in the Hollywood Hills. No ceremony, no fans. The exact location is a secret. [Mirror]
• Presented without comment: "A doctor has revealed how he prescribed Michael Jackson a 'chemical castration' drug to suppress his sexual urges towards under-age boys." [Mirror]
• ABC entertainment president Stephen McPherson on Katherine Heigl's latest anti-Grey's Anatomy tirade: "People will behave in a way they choose to behave. There are so many people who work unbelievably hard on Grey's… so I think it's really hard for them to hear [her complain about working a 17-hour day]." [EW]
• Jenna Fischer says: "I always see these tabloid reports about certain people being 'Spotted Without Their Wedding Ring!' like it's some big deal… [I don't wear my ring because I] would have to take it off and leave it in my trailer, which I would never do. They aren't that secure. Break-ins happen all the time. So if I go someplace after work I could be 'spotted' without my ring. It means nothing." [People]
• How did Ashlee Simpson lose her "baby weight"? Luck. "After I had Bronx I lucked out. I mean, I'm 24 years old. I have the genes from my mother and I did work out for three months." [The Sun]
• "A Night Out With Holly Madison" reveals that she calls a vodka and water "The Skinny Bitch," and later announces: "Chicken fingers are seriously, like, my favorite food." [NY Times]
• Kelsey Grammer says the cancellation of his TV series Back To You may have contributed to his heart attack in 2008. "When they examined my arteries, there was no blocked arteries. I had no cholesterol buildup. I had an event that they think was stress-related." [UPI]
• Madonna's boyfriend, model Jesus Luz, would like to be a DJ. [Page Six]
• Just a reminder: Vanessa Hudgens plays Sa5m in Bandslam, but the 5 is silent. Her character "is an emo girl who speaks slowly because of a stutter, resembles Ally Sheedy in The Breakfast Club and is ostensibly the female lead, Ms. Hudgens argues to the contrary." [NY Times]
• Shannon Elizabeth and Derek Hough: Broken up. They will "remain friends." [UPI]
• Tracy Morgan and his wife Sabina have been married for 23 years, but reportedly spent the last eight living apart. Morgan has decided to file for divorce, maybe because he took some cornbread behind a middle school and got it pregnant. [TMZ]
• Lady GaGa says she wore that Kermit coat as a statement: "I thought it was [a] commentary on not wearing fur, 'cause I hate fur and I don't wear fur." Naturally, now PETA would like for her to pose nude in an ad campaign. [TMZ]
• Cheech Marin married longtime girlfriend Natasha Rubin over the weekned. [People]
• If you do nothing else today, for the love of Kirk, read this William Shatner interview. It's crazyinsane. A snippet: So what is your relationship with Conan really like when the cameras are off? "It's great, he folds me into his arms and I come up to his belly button. So I suckle on his belly button and he holds me close." [Time]
• Just what your Monday morning needs: An anecdote about Mick Jagger's penis. [Page Six]
• Whatshisname says Whatshername is disgusting because she let her four-year-old son see her in bed with her new lover. [The Sun]
• "Because I'm pretty everybody thinks I'm stupid. But you don't have to play a victim. You have to show who you are to make the others come to discover you." — Monica Bellucci. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• "I don't sit there and think 'well I did Confessions of a Shopaholic and now I've got to go out and do Chekhov.' If the next one that comes along happens to be another romantic comedy and I find something in it that appeals to me then great. I operate on almost no system at all." — Hugh Dancy. [Independent]
• "I had a conversation with one of the scientists, and I was saying how I interviewed some [little] kids. I asked him what his opinion was, because I was like, 'Oh, it's really sweet, their idea of love is so pure.' And he was like, 'They don't really understand what love is because they haven't got their hormones and they haven't had sex and they haven't had that many relationships.' And I'm like, it doesn't mean that you can't experience love. Just the fact that you've been in one relationship doesn't devalue how you feel about someone. One of the couples in the film met when they were fourteen and their parents were like, 'That's puppy love.' They ended up being together for over fifty years. So I think people are biased against age." — Charlyne Yi. [Nerve]
• "She knew that I wanted to paint and make music. Eventually she said: ‘do it!' She encouraged me to go forward without fear . So it's all thanks to my wife, who knew that I had done a lot of acting over the years and suggested maybe it was time to start doing something else." — Anthony Hopkins, who has an exhibition of his paintings in Tuscany and also composes orchestral work. [Daily Express]
• Q. Does it feel odd to be putting young designers out in the world when the fashion world is in extreme crisis? A. "I think that everything is kind of in crisis. But what are you going to do? Is everyone going to stop working? I think the best will always succeed in any world. The people who are working hard, I think they will stay out there. In terms of fashion, maybe there are things that are more needed than other things — and the things that people cannot afford, maybe those things will go. But I don't think people should stop their dreams. A lot of our designers, people who have been on in the past, not everyone is self-employed. I think the only one who has become successful is Christian [Siriano] — on their own. I think the others are also successful, not as their own brand. Which I think is also success! They are working under good design houses. Or selling on HSN or Shopping Network." — Heidi Klum, on Project Runway. [LA Times]
• "I grew up on a red dirt road with a tree growing right in the middle of it. We didn't have much, but it never occurred to me that if you wanted to do something you couldn't do it. You can do anything if you try… I came here with a curling iron, two boxes of clothes and $200 in savings." — Nancy Grace. [USA Today]
• "I walk around and don't understand why more people are not smiling, enjoying the day, why they give me stink-eye. I guess being happy must not agree with them. I do not say I am always happy, but I do strive to be cheery." — Amy Adams. [Times Of London]
• "About 50 percent [of Paper Heart is fiction]. Everything with the interview subjects is real, but the plot with Michael Cera is fiction… But I honestly was kind of questioning the idea of love. I'd dropped out of college and I'd just been doing comedy, and I'm kind of like an old lady — when I was 10 I learned how to knit — so, most of my friends would go to clubs [to meet people], but I don't go to clubs or bars because I don't drink. So there was this fear of, how would I meet someone my own age? It's not that I doubted other people's love. It was just about my own concern of whether it could happen to me." — Charlyne Yi [WaPo]
• "You know when you first discovered a hamburger and then you can't live without it? That's what it's like for me with her" — Ashton Kutcher on his love for Demi Moore to Gotham magazine. [Page Six]
• "I'd rather staple my eyelids shut than watch Gwyneth cook." — Bethenny Frankel. [Gatecrasher]

• Russell Brand was shoved into a fountain by an onlooker as he filmed his latest movie in London: "The bloke used a bit of force," says a source, "Brand was completely underwater. I expect he will have some bruises." [TheSun]

• Jennifer Aniston trusts her dog, Norman, to "sniff out" potential boyfriends. "Norman was crazy about Jen's ex-husband Brad Pitt, but he couldn't stand John Mayer – the pooch growled at him and hid whenever John spent the night at her Beverly Hills mansion," says a source. [ShowbizSpy]
• Simon Cowell says he's "going to miss" Paula Abdul during the upcoming season of American Idol. "She's my buddy," Cowell says, ""Paula has been very cool about the whole thing. And let me tell you, Paula is going to be fine." [People]
• Meanwhile, Victoria Beckham, who will be guest judging on Idol this season, says that she plans to be kind to the contestants: "'I want to be nice to people. I know how it feels to be stood there and be judged and how it can feel when nerves get the better of you. I don't want to shatter anybody's dream. But at the same time, there's nothing wrong with a little bit of constructive criticism." In other words, when you're feeling sad and low, she will take you where you want to go. [DailyMail]
• Meanwhile, Jordan Sparks says it was "dumb" of American Idol to lose Paula: ""I love American Idol and I respect them. It's because of them that I got my start, but Paula was one of the original judges. She helped soften the blow for contestants when we didn't do well. I love Paula," Sparks says, "The show will definitely not be the same without her, and I feel bad that future contestants will not get to experience having her on the show. I'm so sad." [E!]
• Hundreds of Beatles fans flocked to Abbey Road this morning to celebrate the 40th anniversary of the groups famous album cover photo. [NYTimes]
• Yikes: apparently Janeane Garofalo's show at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival last night was a "train wreck." [Reuters]
• "After the Toronto incident, I didn't even want to look people in the eye at the gym. The shame came from people saying I had it coming — it was karma. Even though you may think someone is a douche, you shouldn't mock a victim of violence because that victimizes them again. I am much more compassionate now."-Perez Hilton [LATimes]
• Kate Moss and Lily Allen have been spotted vacationing together in St. Tropez, where Kate has allegedly urged Lily "to try the 'rock chick' diet - coffee, cigarettes, vodka and champagne, which are relatively low in calories." Ugh. DailyMail]
• "I wouldn't call myself a dark soul, but I'm feisty and I can be very edgy. Being my size and having blonde hair, with a sweet, innocent-looking face is interesting because that's not who I am. I'd never describe myself as innocent or sweet - those are two words I really would not use to describe myself, ever." -Hayden Panettiere [ShowbizSpy]
• Actress Shannon Elizabeth and her Dancing With The Stars partner Derek Hough have called it quits, and announced their breakup over Twitter, with Hough tweeting: "Hi everyone, we wanted you all to know directly from us, that Shannon & I have decided to end our relationship as boyfriend & girlfriend." [People]
• "I think Jon just needs to spend time to himself. I mean, there are many days that I wish that I talked to him in person instead of over the phone. But that's just the way it has to be right now, so if we're better off as friends and that means that people kinda leave him alone and just let him be the dad that he wants to be, then I'm willing to do that for him."- Kate Major, who quit her job at Star to be with Jon Gosselin. [E!]
• 250 tween fans showed up to watch Leighton Meester shop at a store in Great Neck, causing police to "shut down the main stretch of road in town," according to a source. "It was madness. I've never seen anything like that at a store." [PageSix]
• "For a while, I was seriously considering giving up acting. My life lacked balance because I was too focused on a result as opposed to enjoying the process. I just had to get back into enjoying myself. There were times when I didn't work. There were times when I was flat broke, just like anyone else. You go through ups and downs in life. And, right now, I'm on an up. I'm going to enjoy it and have fun and make the most of it."-Amy Adams [DailyExpress]
• Get ready for a few more Gerard Butler comedies: "I like to see myself more as a Spencer Tracy type," the actor says. "As an actor, I think I can tick several different genre boxes. At the moment, I just happen to be finding comedies kind of irresistible." [Mirror]
• "Ten years ago I would never have imagined I would be in a flesh-coloured leotard hanging from the bars of a cage. I was very traditional and very conservative. But people grow and people change. I am in another moment in my life. I feel more like a woman today."- Shakira [ShowbizSpy]

• Rihanna will appear on the September 14 launch of The Jay Leno Show — her first performance since being assaulted by Chris Brown in February. But she won't be alone:

She's performing "Run This Town" with Jay-Z and Kanye West, which is a track from Jay-Z's new album. [People]

• Matthew Broderick: "I am truly shocked and saddened by the news about my old friend John Hughes. He was a wonderful, very talented guy and my heart goes out to his family." [E!]
• Molly Ringwald: "I was stunned and incredibly sad to hear about the death of John Hughes. He was and will always be such an important part of my life. He will be missed — by me and by everyone that he has touched. My heart and all my thoughts are with his family now." [ET, People]
• Jon Cryer, aka Duckie from Pretty In Pink, on the death of John Hughes: "This is a horrible tragedy. He was an amazing man to work for and with. He respected young actors in a way that made you realize you had to step up your game because you were playing in the big leagues now. That's why he got such great performances out of his actors. My heart goes out to his wife Nancy and their children." [ET]
• Old habits die hard: Amy Winehouse "is still clearly emotional, and seems to suck her thumb when times are bad." Yes, there are pictures. [Daily Mail]
• Paula Abdul may make a deal with American Idol — if they give her what she wants, which is $10 million a year. [TMZ]
• Meanwhile, Paula says: "At this point, there are so many wonderful things that are being offered to me. And I got to take a deep breath, sleep a little ... and go through everything." [AP]
• Um, Constantine Maroulis got his ass kicked trying to defend Paula Abdul's honor or something. [Gatecrasher]
• Blech: Heidi Montag is oompa-loompa orange on her Playboy cover, and covered in dirt. [Perez]
• Hotter than Heidi is 51-year-old Sharon Stone, topless in Paris Match. In the immortal words of Cassie: Stop acting like you haven't seen a titty before. [TheLifeFiles]
• "Jon Gosselin's guide to being a lothario: manipulation and neediness." LOL. A psychotherapist says: "He's picking up a lot of women who are trying to rescue him… Jon's not the faithful type. Men like him are very good at connecting with women, and the woman starts to feel as if he is there for her. But he's just there to boost his own ego." [NY Daily News]
• Despite what was reported in the Post yesterday, Kristin Davis denies that she cut ties as a goodwill ambassador for the human rights group Oxfam. [NY Daily News]
• Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt are back together, and were seen on an Air Pacific Flight to Red Bull Island. Yes, Red Bull Island. Not a joke. Can't wait to see them do this again. [Page Six]
• If you have tickets for Madonna's concert in Ljubljana, Slovenia, you are one of a select few: The show's been canceled, and poor ticket sales are reportedly the reason. Although her peeps say "unforeseen logistical difficulties" are the reason. [Reuters]
• From a profile on Charlene Yi: "Ms. Yi walked the short red carpet in wet brown suede shoes and a red cardigan sweater. After posing for pictures, she picked up the olive-drab Army backpack she had left with a publicist after posing for pictures. Ms. Yi told reporters that she had never dated Michael Cera. 'Gossipers!' she yelped. 'You are all gossipers!' Well, why did she pick him to play her onscreen boyfriend in the first place? 'Martin Lawrence passed,' she quipped. Touché!" [Observer]
• Charlene Yi says of Michael Cera: "We were never together. If we were, I'd like to know when that was. And thank God, because it would be devastating to promote this film if I was heartbroken." [The Daily Beast]
• Bethenny Frankel is trying to get pregnant. [Page Six]
• Leonardo DiCaprio: Spotted hanging out with Sports Illustrated swimsuit model, Anne Vyalitsyna. [Page Six]
• Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore were flying to New York when their plane had to make an emergency landing in Las Vegas after the engine overheated. No one was injured, and both actors Tweeted about their experience, because if you don't put it on Twitter, it never happened, right? [People]
• Jermaine Jackson is "cashing in" on Michael Jackson's death by releasing a recording of "Smile," the song he performed at the memorial. Plus, he's working on a series of tribute concerts. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Jermaine says: "In his death, I have found a mission for my life. My existence is now dedicated to spreading Michael's message." [Mirror]
• "Michael Jackson was scheduled to undergo a second physical by an insurance company doctor at the time of his death." [LA Times]
• David Letterman has beat Conan O'Brien in ratings for the fourth week in a row. i'll admit it: I'm on team Dave. [NY Daily News]
• Nora Ephron writes "In Defense of Ryan O'Neal": "Ryan O'Neal had not seen his daughter Tatum in years. He thought she was a Swedish person. I completely understand. The truth is that had I been gay, I might have accidentally made a pass at my own sister in a mall in Las Vegas. So who's to judge? Not me." [HuffPo]
• Queen Latifah and five ladyfriends hit a lesbian party in NYC on Wednesday, and this is news. [Page Six]
• The woman suing Morgan Freeman for flipping her car will have her day in court next year. [USA Today]
• This report claims that Patrick Swayze's fuller face and full head of hair prove that his battle with cancer is going well, even though he is still smoking. [NY Daily News]
• Congrats to SNL's Bill Hader, who will be a dad; his wife is pregnant. [People]
• Aerosmith concerts are postponed while Steven Tyler recovers from falling off of the stage. [USA Today]
• "I had to turn him down. I really hated the idea of Channing Tatum. I told di Bonaventura that this is not the guy to play one of the most feared killers of the 20th Century. I think Mickey Rourke would really be good. He's got that sense of danger, and there's a similarity between the two. But it's not Channing Tatum." — Phil Carlo, who wrote The Ice Man: Confessions of a Mafia Contract Killer. [Page Six]
• "To me, the idea of being an actor and being stuck in Los Angeles — a city that's totally based on one job — is so uninspiring. New York completely fulfills every need I have on a daily basis. I'm madly in love with this city." — Josh Lucas. [Page Six]
• "Resident Evil started out as this fun project. I went in for it as a joke. 'Sure, I'll go make an action movie,' I thought, 'This'll be cool, because my brother loves the video game so much.' It's turned into a steady job. See? [making a fist] The knuckles? They're all cut up. They used to be really soft, but they can't use them any more [in L'Oreal ads]. They use someone else's." — Milla Jovovich. [Guardian]
• "My mom [Bebe Buell] and gran were models and took such good care of their skin I couldn't help but learn. My dad is also full of great beauty advice, like wear your perfume in your belly button and on the soles of your feet so it becomes part of you." — Liv Tyler, to Elle. [Daily Express]
• "I'm always shocked that there's an interesting, full-fledged, ambitiously wrought role for somebody like me, that somebody's willing to put in a movie, it's unusual, that's what I mean by shocked. I'm not shocked because … 'Gosh, me? How do I know how to act?' [Laughs] But there's so many unbelievably talented, richly talented women and men that are older, that just don't get a chance." — Meryl Streep. [Salon]
• "I have this phobia of becoming someone's 'girlfriend.' I have guy friends who have been dating a girl for six months and our other friends don't know her name. They just ask, 'Hey, where's your girlfriend?' And I want to scream, 'OK, her name is Sally, and she's awesome, and you've known her for months. Where did her identity go?'" — Charlene Yi. [The Daily Beast]

• Oprah is being sued for $1 trillion. That is one trillion dollars. Here's the deal:

Author Damon Lloyd Goffe of the Bronx claims that in April 2008, Oprah confessed to seizing (?) and publishing (on the web) a first draft of his work, A Tome of Poetry, under the title Pieces Of My Soul. [National Enquirer]

• Newly unemployed Paula Abdul might go to The View: The show's rep says "She was always welcome on the program in the past and always will be in the future." Paula might fill in during Elisabeth Hasselbeck's maternity leave, but probably won't be offered a full-time job; the rep says: "We aren't hiring, of course." [E!]
• Apparently Paula's Idol resignation Tweet took many Idol staffers by surprise. When asked if Paula will be replaced, one exec said: "I have no idea." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Former American Idol producer Nigel Lythgoe says he's talked with Paula about coming to Fox's So You Think You Can Dance. "With Paula's background as a dancer, choreographer and reality judge now, I don't know anyone more qualified than Paula Abdul." [NY Daily News]
• "Who can replace Paula Abdul on 'American Idol?' Sarah Palin? Judge Judy?" LOL. [NY Daily News]
• You know who will be on American Idol? Victoria Beckham. Yes, Posh Spice will make a guest appearance on the judging panel. Zigazig-ah. [Daily Mail]
• Posh's appearance will be a one-off. [People]
• Britney wants to marry her manager-boyfriend Jason Trawick and have his baby (she wants a girl), but a source says: "Jason's last long-term relationship ended because he wouldn't pop the question." As always, consider the source on this. [MSNBC via National Enquirer]
• Kristin Davis is caught in the middle of Mideast politics — she is no longer a spokeswoman for human rights/relief organization Oxfam International because she endorses the Ahava cosmetics line, which is made by Dead Sea Cosmetics in the Mitzhe Shalem Jewish settlement in the West Bank. Oxfam considers this "disputed" territory. [Page Six]
• A new batch of nude photographs of Vanessa Hudgens hit the internet and her lawyer confirms that they are real and that she was underage when they were taken. You've got to wonder who keeps leaking pictures of the Disney teen queen, and how he or she is getting access to these images. [Perez]
• According to this report, the Vanessa Hudgens pix are actually old. Yet! Released just in time: There's a red carpet premiere of her new flick, Bandslam, tomorrow. [E!]
• Mischa Barton didn't go to some castmate's birthday party and we're supposed to read something into that. [Page Six]
• Matt Damon, Don Cheadle and George Clooney are hanging out at Cloon's luxurious Lake Como estate, like an Ocean's Eleven reunion. Except no Brad Pitt. [NY Daily News]
• Aerosmith's Steven Tyler was airlifted to a hospital after falling off the stage during a show in South Dakota. Not a joke: He went down during the song "Love In An Elevator." His injuries are reportedly not too serious: minor head and neck injuries and a shoulder injury. [AP]
• In a poll by lovefilm.com (?), Anne Hathaway was named best actress under 30. Keira Knightley got second place. [Telegraph]
• It's tough to describe the creeptastic pictures in the results of this "NYC Prep Meets Yearbook Yourself" post, but there are retro hairstyles and Morrissey quotes, so you'd better just click and see. [The Faster Times]
• Michael Jackson and rapper Fabolous are on the top of the Billboard charts. [Reuters]
• A South Korean newspaper is suing Michael Jackson's estate for $7.9 million over some canceled concert dates in 1990. As if Katherine Jackson's lawyers didn't have enough to worry about. [AP]
• Katherine Jackson will be telling Prince and Paris that their biological mom is Debbie Rowe in the next few weeks. [NY Post]
• A play at the Edinburgh Fringe festival — with an all-Malawian cast — is about Madonna's adoption saga and titled Mercy Madonna of Malawi. Her Madgesty is played by a black male actor in a blonde wig, and he looks like he's loving it. [BBC News]
• If you haven't seen it yet, the animated Modest Mouse video directed by Heath Ledger can be found at the link. [NY Daily News]
• Barbra Streisand is auctioning off more than 400 personal items to benefit her charity: A baby grand piano, a dress from Funny Lady, some outfits from Meet The Fockers. "What good does it do in storage?" Barbra asks. The Streisand Foundation supports women's, children's, environmental and political causes. [AP]
• Catherine Deneuve was booed at a performance in Italy, where she was reading at a cultural festival. Attendees may have been frustrated that she was reading in French and there were no subtitles. [AP]
• Pedro Almodóvar turns 60 next month, and is about to release his 17th feature film, Broken Embraces. He says: "I want to make more. Right now, I feel a sense of urgency that I never had before to make films. I feel much more in a hurry now than when I was 20 or 30. Time passes." And! On muse Penelope Cruz: "Hollywood doesn't take such risks with actors. They're not that rich in female characters either. I have the advantage that I know Penelope very well as a friend. She has such faith in me, so I can take more risks, bring out those unseen Penelopes, that other directors wouldn't dare to try or conceive." Be sure and click the link and watch the trailer, in which Cruz wears a bunch of different wigs and channels Audrey Hepburn and Marilyn Monroe. [Telegraph]
• Liam Neeson will star in Unknown White Male, a thriller from the director of Orphan, in which Neeson will play a doctor who gets into a car accident and goes into a coma. When he wakes up, his wife doesn't recognize him — and she's living with another man who has assumed his identity. [Variety]
• HBO, which has been getting very lady-friendly lately, is developing a show for Laura Dern. The premise? A formerly self-destructive woman has a spiritual awakening and becomes determined to live an enlightened life, wreaking unintended consequences." Writer? Mike White, School Of Rock. [Women & Hollywood]
• Thomas Beatie, known as the "pregnant man," is pitching a reality series to Oxygen to TLC. [NY Daily News]
• Retrogossip: "Marilyn Monroe and Tony Curtis had affair while making 'Some Like it Hot,' Curtis reveals in book.… The 84-year-old actor writes that he and Monroe had an affair while making the movie in 1958 which left her pregnant. Had she not miscarried, Marilyn would have been his baby mama." [Gatecrasher]
• "He'd better start making some good films ... I'm not a great fan of Public Enemies, because I think [Michael Mann's] a fucking extraordinary filmmaker, but personally I didn't think Johnny had enough room to act ... He's making so much money. There was a piece in the Huffington Post today. It's a letter saying 'All right, come on, we all love you, but stop.' ... It's like, 'Come on. You've got the power to make some really good films happen. Why are you doing this shit?'" — Terry Gilliam on Johnny Depp. [NY Mag]
• "Chris Kattan wanting to be a leading man is a joke, and it's a great way to poke fun of myself. It's not so much about finding a gig but good, respectful gigs." — Chris Kattan, on his role in Bollywood Hero, in which he decides to head to India and reinvent himself as the star of a Bollywood epic, Peculiar Dancing Boy. [USA Today
• "My priorities have shifted completely, which has helped my career because there's this new peace that I have. If I never did anything again, I would be a mom and I'd be totally happy being a mom. Everything has fallen into place so beautifully because I'm not trying so hard. If my daughter's OK, I can concentrate on something else. So it's not like all day I'm thinking about me." — Milla Jovovich. [LA Times]
• "If this article comes out and we're not together, I'd still love [Tony]," she says. "And he'd still be a huge part of who I am today." — Jessica Simpson, to Glamour magazine. [NY Daily News]
• The thing is that American Idol obviously appeals to a massive audience, and they have everything from little teenagers that freak out and scream when they see me. Then there's the sort of weird kids that were a little bit different and alternative than everyone else and were getting into Idol, too. You have the single moms. You have the Oprah audience. You have the grandmothers. You have women that want a baby. Women that want to fuck you. Women that want you to fuck their daughter or people that want to make you cookies. So you have everything. But I'll tell you, I definitely have a pretty hard-core sort of middle-age woman following. It's awesome when anyone follows, but I think that if I had a new hit on the radio and I was playing shows, you'd see a lot more of the teeners there, but the women that are dedicated, that travel all over the country to see me, are from 30 to 50 and some older, definitely. You know that's all been really great and fun, but I'm very focused on the work and eventually settling down and finding one nice girl, preferably Greek." — Constantine Maroulis, former Idol contestant and current Broadway star in Rock Of Ages.[The Daily Beast]

• Paula Abdul will not return to American Idol. This announcement comes via her Twitter. She wrote:

"With sadness in my heart, I've decided not to return to #IDOL. I'll miss nurturing all the new talent, but most of all I'll miss being a part of a show that I helped from day1 become an international phenomenon. What I want to say most, is how much I appreciate the undying support and enormous love that you have showered upon me… It truly has been breathtaking, especially over the past month… I do without any doubt have the BEST fans in the entire world and I love you all." She was reportedly looking for as much as $20 million to continue with the show, but producers were recently heard talking up new host Kara DioGuardi (who has already signed on for another season, along with Randy Jackson, Simon Cowell and Ryan Seacrest). [Variety]

• First we heard that Penelope Cruz might be knocked up, then we heard she quit smoking, and now a source says: "Penelope is about four months pregnant." Congrats to Penny and lover Javier Bardem! [Just Jared]
• Thank Zeus: Jennifer Aniston has signed on for a movie we can actually get behind: Goree Girls is about an all-female country band in a Texas prison in the 1940s. [Variety]
• Presented without comment: "A park bench featuring a sculpture of a nude Angelina Jolie with her infant twins is to be unveiled in Oklahoma to promote World Breastfeeding Week." [UPI]
• Madonna's old love letters "borrowed heavily" from Anne Sexton poems. [Page Six]
• Childhood stardom can be tough. Ashley Olsen tells Marie Claire: "[Growing up,] it was almost like I was in the Army. School, work, homework, fly to New York, get in at 2 in the morning, do a morning show at 5 a.m., then another one at 7, then a radio interview at 10." She adds: "I look at Britney, and I'm surprised I didn't end up like her." [Gatecrasher]
• When Jon and Kate Gosselin announced their split, they got great ratings; the new episode's ratings? Crappy. Hence the headline, "Viewers Break Up With 'Jon and Kate.'" [AdAdge]
• More on this in Midweek Madness, but Jon Gosselin is on the cover of In Touch, saying "I'm tired of being blamed." He says his marriage fell apart in October 2008. "Many people think that everything moved too fast, that I was out partying too quickly. But Kate gave up on the marriage last October, and the divorce will be finalized by Sept. 30." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Robert Pattinson has been voted the sexiest man in the world in a Glamour mag poll in which many of the women were obviously Twihards. [The Star]
• Spotted: Kelly Bensimon and Damages actress Rose Byrne vying for Gerard Butler's attention. "Kelly blocked Gerard from speaking to Rose and was flirting up a storm - but he couldn't have seemed less interested." Gerard found Rose later and took her to a "private corner" to talk. [Gatecrasher]
• Gerard Butler says he got involved in his new romcom because he was always cracking jokes: "I was doing an action movie with the guys who made this and at night we would go to dinner and I would be like 'did you hear the one about this?' and they were like The Ugly Truth." [Mirror]
• Chris Brown will be sentenced for assault today. [AP]
• Elisabeth Moss says she and Mad Men costar Christina Hendricks — who are both getting married soon — are having their cakes made by the same people.
  "We've been exchanging flower information a little bit," she says. "Our weddings are sort of different, but we love talking about it." [People]
• CW programming chief Dawn Ostroff says Mischa Barton is at work on her new show The Beautiful Life and has been "great" and there have been "no issues." Everything is FINE okay? [USA Today]
• According to this report, it's not Mischa the CW producers are worried about, it's Elle Macpherson, her TBL costar, who has a large role, but can't act. [Gatecrasher]
• Jamie-Lynn Sigler gets kinda Sopranos-esque in this video, "The Real Housewives of New Jersey with Jamie-Lynn Sigler." Bonus points for "buh-bies." [Funny Or Die]
• The Michael Jackson concert rehearsal footage will be a full-length motion picture… if a probate judge approves the deal by Monday. [AP]
• Joe Jackson, thank you for saying the following: "I do visit the family residence from time to time and will continue to do so, however I will not be involved in raising the children." [AP]
• Administrators of Michael Jackson's estate expect to earn cash from merchandising Jackson-related stuff, which would be good for the kids. [TMZ]
• David and Victoria Beckham MIGHT be moving to a £10million home in Chelsea, London, and here are pictures of the house they COULD live in someday. [Daily Mail]
• Check out Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel in this music video shot to promote (500) Days Of Summer. It's got a '60s look and DANCING! [USA Today, USA Today]
• John Slattery, aka Mad Men's Roger Sterling, may direct an upcoming episode of the AMC show. [LA Times]
• Candy Spelling is still using the media to talk to daughter Tori Spelling. Last week she accused Tori of using her kids as "reality show props"; today she's telling Tori: "I love you, and I always will." [USA Today]
• Daniel Baldwin says of the woman who claims he left her a "hostile" message: "Either she's delusional, can't remember what's going on, or she's psychotic." The woman fired his niece, who is a nanny, and allegedly threatened the niece, saying she would never work in Malibu again. Baldwin says he texted back: "Please don't threaten my niece" and that's it. [E!]
• Former U.S. President Bill Clinton will present filmmaker Steven Spielberg with the 2009 Liberty Medal at a ceremony in Philadelphia. [UPI]
• Jay Leno's new show will have "correspondents" — Brian Williams, Mikey Day, Rachael Harris, D.L. Hughley and Jim Norton. [Page Six]
• Josh Duhamel is in talks to star with Katherine Heigl in Life As We Know It, a romance about two people "whose worlds are turned upside down when their mutual best friends die in an accident and name them as caregivers of their orphaned daughter." Cue parenting goofs, falling in love. [Variety]
• Bam Margera is working it out with his wife, with the help of marriage counseling and meds. [TMZ]
• Johnny Hallyday, the "French Elvis," fell while boarding a yacht on the Riviera last month and dislocated his hip. [Page Six]
• This picture of Whatshername face down getting her ass squeezed while getting a massage is one of the reasons I can't bear to be interested in her. In any case, Whatshisname is hoping for a quickie divorce. [The Sun]
• Blind item! "Which wacky celeb is certainly no angel when it comes to her hobbies? This hostess holds drawing parties for her gal pals - complete with a nude model and lots of alcohol." [Gatecrasher]
• "Silence is a powerful weapon in drama, "What you don't say and what you don't reveal can be as powerful as what you do say. My intention is to make [the performance] as real as possible but never forgetting that it's actually drama." — Gabriel Byrne, on In Treatment. [LA Times]
• "She comes to L.A. from the Midwest to find her mother [who turns out to be one of the original show's characters, Sydney Andrews, played by Laura Leighton], and all of a sudden she's thrown in with the sharks." — Ashlee Simpson-Wentz, on her Melrose Place character. [WWD]
• "In the music business in the Seventies, girls were beautiful. You were a performer, or you could be a girlfriend or groupie, but you still had to look good. I didn't have the face or the body that opens doors... Not being beautiful was an education. My achievements are down to my looks, or lack of them... I'm not putting myself down, that's the truth." — Sharon Osbourne, who says being "short, fat and hairy" meant she had to "develop a brain and personality and be fun and smart and learn to get on with people and make deals." [Daily Mail]
• "I'm not going to confirm or deny that. It might jump forward, it might not." -Jon Hamm, on whether the third season of Mad Men takes place two years after the last season ended. [NY Mag, via ESPN podcast]
• "A lot of his chickens came home to roost, so to speak. He had a lot of balls in the air, and they all kinda came crashing down as the season progressed. A lot more happens in season three, and there's a lot of change coming his way. Not only in his life, but a lot happens in the culture as well. So far, it's been an amazing season and I can't wait for people to see it." -Jon Hamm, on Don Draper's meltdown last season and how Don recovers (or doesn't). [NY Mag, via ESPN podcast]
• "They're fucking nuts. You have to either accept that or you do like me: You get married four times."— James Caan, on women. [Page Six via Men's Journal]
• "My music is a little more edgy so that inspired me to be adventurous. I've never dyed my hair before so this was a pretty drastic change. I've always been known as a brunette but I've been thinking about it for a long time and it kind of just fit with all of the searching with the music and experimenting that I would do the same thing with my look. The look has affected the way I dress, it's inspired me to be more adventurous with what I decide to wear. It's silly that something so simple as changing your hair could have such a big effect. I'm just having fun with it." — Katharine McPhee, on dying her hair blonde. [People]
• "I'm not great [at romance in real life] actually — my husband [musician Josh Kelley] and I have had this argument, I can be but generally I am a little, like, squeamish about being too romantic. I do love a good snuggle, but I don't want to, have to, get all verbally gooey." — Katherine Heigl. [Mirror]
• "I probably seem like not a particularly nice person, not a girl's girl. I think if you put a camera in anyone's life and document it daily for six years, from the age of 21 to 27, there are going to be things that aren't always pretty. Those are the rebellious years, the years of self discovery. I've never been someone who has conformed, and I think my response to that level of attention was to pretend it didn't exist." — Sienna Miller. [Daily Mail]
• "I'm disgusted by him. Here's a guy with eight kids who runs off to 'find himself' — well, he should have found himself a condom." — Joan Rivers on Jon Gosselin. [Page Six]

• Is Brad Pitt done with showbiz? It almost seems like he's dropping hints:

"I think acting is a younger man's game," he says. "There are fewer interesting parts for older people and we all get older. But I feel like I've done it. I've kind of had my time and that's quite freeing. There are still acting dreams left but I'll do them first and then we'll talk about them." There's always architecture! [Daily Express]

• Jennifer Aniston embraces the lonely! "If I'm the emblem for 'this is what it looks like to be the lonely girl getting on with her life,' so be it." Jen tells Elle. "I can make fun of myself," she says. "And I'll bring it up as long as the world is bringing it up." [NY Post]
• Friends, today is the day: Some sites are participating in A Day Without Megan Fox. But over at E!, they're calling it Megan Fox Awareness Day, since she "drops wild nonsense in interviews, walks around wet, totally bends over in big dumb movies about robots, and then makes ballsy acting choices." [E!]
• Madonna did not, repeat, did not write a song dedicated to Guy Ritchie called "Eternal Love." Gossipeuse Liz Smith calls it a "hilarious rumor." [Variety]
• Page Six claims that the "gay spin" on Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson — as played by Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law in Guy Ritchie's flick, out on Christmas Day, could "backfire." Former Post movie critic Michael Medved says: "Who is going to want to see Downey Jr. and Law make out? I don't think it would be appealing to women." Sir, you are wrong. [Page Six]
• Oscar-winning screenwriter Dustin Lance Black is suing Starzlife.com for posting explicit photographs of him having sex with a guy named Jeff Delancy. Invasion of privacy, copyright infringement, etc. [ONTD]
• Aw, sweet: NYPD cops are worried about Robert Pattinson: "We have celebrities a lot bigger than this guy who can come and go in perfect safety because we know how to take the right precautions. We have presidents and kings come and go. This poor kid can't get in or out of a car without things getting dangerous." [MSNBC]
• E! landed an "exclusive" interview with Kate Major, aka "Kate 2.0" and in this preview she says vague things like "Do I regret anything? Not really." And: "It is a huge relief to finally talk." Uh, you were talking the whole time. And seriously, how did the paparazzi know you went to dinner with the dude? Who has photographer's phone numbers: Jerk Gosselin or you, a Star magazine reporter? And isn't it funny how that shot of you guys going out to dinner made the cover of Star? [E!]
• By the by, check out this Kate Gosselin-esque wig. The prediction is that you'll be seeing a lot of them come Halloween. [LA Times]
• Rihanna had ice cream with the record exec responsible for putting Chris Brown's song in a Wrigley's commercial. Hmm. [Page Six]
• An animated music video directed by the late Heath Ledger premieres online today; it's for Modest Mouse's song "King Rat" and can be seen on MySpace. [Newser, NME]
• Michael Douglas's son Cameron: Busted for meth. [TMZ]
• Dina Lohan and Michael Lohan: Spotted acting friendly at a charity event. [Page Six]
• Why does Michael Jackson's dermatologist Dr. Arnold Klein claim to have "unique interests" in the custody of MJ's kids? Is he indeed the bio-dad? [MSNBC Scoop]
• Kathy Hilton, who met Michael Jackson when they were teens, says: "I adore Mrs. Jackson. Katherine is the rock." Of MJ, Kathy says: "People think that they knew him and they didn't. His generosity, sense of humor, the mischievous giggle, the laugh." [People]
• It's confirmed that Kara DioGuardi will return to American Idol, and Fox execs are singing her praises. Mike Darnell, president of alternative programming, says she has a "spitfire personality and sharp musical sensibility" and gave the show "new energy"; executive producer Simon Fuller says, "She is a breath of fresh air and her passion for music and her understanding of talent is invaluable." What does all this mean for Paula Abdul? [People]
• Someone overheard Mischa Barton talking about having a stalker. [Page Six]
• Travis Barker and Shanna Moakler are planning to remarry, one year after finalizing their divorce. "We would like to renew our vows and have another wedding," Shanna says. "It's not so much about the wedding but about having a celebration of each other and getting through all the crazy things we've been through." And: "When you almost lose a loved one, it makes you appreciate things you took for granted." [ONTD]
• There's a request for a restraining order against Daniel Baldwin — issued by a woman in Malibu. She fired her nanny, who is Baldiwn's niece, and Baldwin called the house and "left a hostile message." [Radar Online]
• 24's Mary Lynn Rajskub married personal trainer Matthew Rolph in Las Vegas over the weekend, in a casino with Elvis playing. But! "Our wedding was beautiful, spontaneous and intimate," she says. [People]
• Dearest Hugh Jackman, of course we will go see you play P.T. Barnum in The Greatest Showman on Earth, a musical flick put together by the peeps who did your Academy Awards extravaganza. Especially since Mika is in talks to do the music and lyrics. [Variety]
• Griffin O'Neal is spilling all kinds of shit about his dad, Ryan O'Neal. For instance: His father attempted to shoot him; Ryan was unfaithful to Farrah Fawcett; Ryan gave Redmond cash for drugs. [CNN]
• Hulk smash jitterbug! Lou Ferrigno is headed to Dancing With The Stars. [Life & Style]
• Click for an excellent snap of Jack Nicholson getting down on the dancefloor in the South of France. [NY Post]
• Jenna Elfman has a sitcom on CBS this fall, but she did go through a dark period where shows got canceled and development deals failed for various reasons. "It was quite a challenging four or five years in my life." [LA Times]
• Alyssa Milano has an ABC comedy pilot, Romantically Challenged, which looks like it might get picked up. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Chelsea Handler is the worst boss ever in a video at the link. [E!]
• Laguna Beach alum Jason Wahler got drunk and threw his shoes at people. [TMZ]
• Kevin Costner will return to Alberta, Canada to lend support to those injured by a stage collapse at a country music festival where he was set to perform. [Mirror]
• "Julianna Margulies slapped Chris Noth three times for the scene in the pilot in which The Good Wife goes bad. In a good way.The first time, she didn't hit him hard enough. The second time, the camera was off. The third time, she left a red welt on his face. 'Chris Noth is so great,' she said at press tour on Monday. 'He's like, 'Oh, please, I've been hit so many times.'" [LA Times]
• Will The Sopranos make it to the big screen, as a movie? [Gatecrasher]
• Fifty years ago, Jayne Mansfield cut a ribbon at the Chiswick Flyover, a stretch of elevated road in west London. To celebrate the 50th anniversary of the flyover, Mansfield's daughter Mariska Hargitay has been invited to an event. [Telegraph]
• "I haven't done it yet, but I'm excited... I'm lucky – yeah, I know." — Gerard Butler, on kissing Jennifer Aniston in scenes for The Bounty. [People]

• Seriously, Jennifer Aniston, what the hell are you doing? First you signed on for desperado babyfever flick The Baster, now you're doing a movie called Pumas. That's right: PUMAS. The plot:

"Two thirtysomething women make a habit of romancing younger men." But wait: The ladies take a French skiing vacation that "challenges their romantic expectations." What's next? Old Maid: The Musical? [Variety]

• Mel Gibson was in a scuffle with a photographer and the snapper's friend; a shirt got ripped open and someone is filing a battery report against Gibson. More to come. [TMZ]
• Mischa Barton arrived in New York on Tuesday night to start filming The Beautiful Life, but some are saying it's too soon after her hospitalization. Here's the thing: On the show, Mischa plays an aging supermodel with a drug problem. [Gatecrasher]
• Isn't it interesting that we don't know who the mother of Jude Law's love child is? Someone from the set of Sherlock Holmes perhaps? [Page Six]
• Jennifer Lopez, her luggage, her husband and her impeccably dressed children are in Rome. [Daily Mail]
• Nadya Suleman's reality show is in production. Right now, her 14 kids are being kept off camera, while work permits are being figured out. Her lawyer says: "It most likely will be aired in the UK first once it gets finished, but there has been substantial interest from a U.S. major cable network." [EW]
• Kenny Chesney is denying the Star report (from yesterday's Midweek Madness) that he and Jessica Simpson flirted on July 4, in front on Tony Romo. "Tony's a friend, and I wouldn't flirt with a buddy's girlfriend," says Chesney. "More importantly, Jessica was just being sweet and there was nothing else to it." [People]
• Liam Gallagher and Lily Allen were on an 11-hour Virgin Atlantic flight to Japan and were repeatedly told to "calm down" as they boozed it up in a "marathon drinking session." [The Sun]
• BREAKING: Kim Kardashian doing "okay" after split. [People]
• Amy Winehouse made a deal with her neighbor — he'd grill the meat she'd bought if she'd do a private gig for him one day. [The Sun]
• Here's what happens when Hollywood films a movie in your house: branches with fake leaves arrive; Betty White holds your dog; Ryan Reynolds ignores you. [NY Times]
• Michael Jackson's mother, Katherine, will get custody of his kids. Katherine and Debbie Rowe have reached an agreement which gives Rowe visitation rights — but no additional money. [CBS News]
• Debbie Rowe wants the kids to have a psychologist to help them adjust to her being in their lives… And she will get one. [TMZ]
• Michael Jackson's personal nurse and nutritionist Cherilyn Lee says she never saw him take any IV drugs. What I knew for a fact was he had very small veins. "When I met him and did his blood work he said, 'Don't feel bad because I have tiny squiggly veins, sometimes it takes 30 minutes to an hour to find my veins.'" [MSNBC Scoop]
• Michael Jackson's personal chef, Kai Chase, is still talking about being in the house the day the singer died. "I thought maybe Mr Jackson is sleeping late," she says. Also: She is sort of pushing a cookbook, tentatively titled Fit for a King. [Guardian]
• Dr. Conrad Murray was sentenced to jail earlier this year… for non-payment of child support. [Radar Online]
• Dr. Murray may lose his Las Vegas home. [NY Daily News]
• TMZ spoke to two sisters who worked for Dr. Conrad Murray — LaQuisha Middleton and LaQuanda Price — trying to get details about boxes of dirty needles and whatnot. Whatever you do, do not read the comments over there. [TMZ]
• Rumor has it Michael Jackson's will is not valid because it's not notarized; but in California, a will doesn't have to be notarized. So. [TMZ]
• Speaking of doctors and celebrities with prescription problems… Elvis' doctor has a new book in which he says: "I don't regret any of the medications I gave him. They were necessities." [UPI]
• Daniel Bark, who is charged with vehicular homicide in the death of American Idol contestant Alexis Cohen, says Cohen was drunk. [TMZ]
• The Sex And The City movie sequel is having issues attempting to shoot in Dubai, probably because the UAE authorities don't like that the word "sex" is in the title. [Daily Express]
• Russell Brand "was seen being propositioned by a member of staff from naughty undercracker shop Agent Provocateur." He was in the store chatting with the young lady; and as he left, she ran after him with her phone number. In other words: Just another Wednesday. [The Sun]
• Are Lil' Kim and Scott Storch back on? [Page Six]
• "There's a better fight in the season opener of The Real Housewives of Atlanta than there was in the recent finale of The Real Housewives of New Jersey. [NY Daily News]
• Balthazar Getty: Back with his wife? [Daily Mail]
• The casting of Bryce Dallas Howard and the ousting of Rachelle Lefevre = Twilight dramz. [E!]
• Put it this way: Rachelle Lefevre was "stunned" that her role in Eclipse was cast with someone else. [AP]
• Bridget Moynahan will star with Aaron Eckhart in Battle: Los Angeles, a flick about a Marine platoon in a face off against aliens attacking L.A. [Variety]
• Matthew McConaughey and Eva Mendes are in talks to star in Southbound, in which he'd play a a patrol officer on the border between California and Mexico who accepts a bribe from a beautiful Mexican woman. Eva was born in Miami to Cuban-American parents but whatever. [Variety]
• Russell Crowe will star in The Next The Days, directed by Paul Haggis (Crash). Crowe will play a teacher whose wife is arrested and convicted of a murder she says she did not commit. [Variety]
• By the by, while filming Robin Hood, Russell Crowe popped into a charity shop and donated £1000. [The Sun]
• Interested in ESPN reporter Erin Andrews' 911 call? [TMZ]
• Shakira is back! Her new album and first single are called She Wolf, and the video airs tonight on MTV. You'll see her dancing in a golden cage: "It was improvisation. I went crazy," she says. "They said 'Action!' and I just started hanging from the bars. I felt so inspired, maybe because I felt like I was a living metaphor trapped inside the cage." [USA Today]
• Weird: Val Klimer owes $538,858 in unpaid taxes in New Jersey, even though he is originally from L.A. and has been living in New Mexico for the last 20 years. [TMZ]
• Audrina from The Hills has a new man, an "Aussie BMXer" named Corey Bohan. [E!]
• Gretchen Wilson plans to start her own label which, of course, she will call Redneck Records. [USA Today]
• Men At Work: Still facing plagiarism charges, from a song that was a hit in 1981. [BBC News]
• "I think it's brilliant that Leno is at 10 p.m., because America can get bored more easily and go to sleep earlier. When was the last time you heard, 'Did you hear what Leno said last night?'" — Joan Rivers. [Yahoo News via Reuters]
• "I can't wear a skirt that's too short any more. It's not that my legs are bad, it just looks silly. I feel less pressure to dress youthfully. I'm 50 and everyone knows I'm 50 – who are you kidding? Jeans are my uniform. I have about 15 pairs." — Michelle Pfeiffer. [Daily Express]
• "You just read it. Seriously. It is an incredible document. I think people either forget about it or have been taught it too early in their lives. It's a document worth reading and rereading every single year because it's the principles in that document that we should be loyal to and fight for and struggle for, rather than whichever government is in power." — Matt Damon, on making reciting the Declaration of Independence exciting for a History Channel movie. [AP]
• "I love my curves, I embrace them, but I have to walk a fine line. I think it comes down to being voluptuous, and if your body's a certain way, then things can go distasteful in a second… I love therapy! I'm very in touch with my feelings... there's nothing like going in and sitting down and talking to someone who has no emotional tie to your life." — Eva Mendes. [NY Daily News]
• "I want a part so bad. Any part's fine. I will be the vampire who carries Robert Pattinson's luggage in the airport. That is the part that I will play if they need it. I'd pass out [if I met Robert]. I can't talk about it, 'cause I'd pass out. It's because he's Edward. Listen, Edward can fly you through the forest. He's like Aladdin with vampire teeth - there's magic-carpet rides. He can sing. He can watch you sleep. He plays music. He sniffs your neck. I mean, please!" — Jennifer Love Hewitt really really really wants to be in a Twilight movie, poor thing. [MSNBC]

• Have mercy. Will Lauren Conrad's L.A. Candy be turned into a film? That would mean a movie based on a book based on reality show based on someone's life. LC says:

"We're hoping for a movie deal. I'm working on [adapting the book for the movies] right now, but I don't want to commit to anything until I see all my options." [Gatecrasher]

• Here's an article devoted to dissecting, mocking and nitpicking Madonna's "stringy" arms. [NY Daily News]
• Old love letters Madonna wrote are up for auction; she refers to herself as "Lil' Booty" and "Lola Montez" in honor of a famous mistress of King Ludwig I of Bavaria. Yeah. [Page Six]
• Oh Kate Major. One day you're a reporter for Star magazine, the next you're "dating" Jon Gosselin; and now you're being accused of having a former life as a high-priced call girl. [Extra]
• Would you watch a Jon Gosselin reality show? No Kate or plus 8 — just the Ed Hardy-wearing bachelor doing… stuff? [E!]
• A stylist who worked with Mischa Barton on the set of The O.C. says the actress developed an alcohol problem in her teens. "Mischa has been drinking since she was about 14, and she doesn't drink to have fun any more - she drinks not to feel anything…It was just a matter of time before she hit rock bottom." [The Sun]
• Mischa Barton is out of the hospital and "has every intention" of rejoining the Ashton Kutcher-produced CW drama The Beautiful Life when it resumes production in a few weeks. [E!]
• "Amy Winehouse 'Stole Cocaine From Kate Moss's Handbag.'" So says Blake Formerly Incarcerated, who seems to be spilling all kinds of tales now that he and Amy are divorced. Anyways, that was then. [Daily Mail]
• Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart stayed in the same hotel, on the same floor, in San Diego Wednesday night before Comic-Con. ZOMG true love! Twilight is real! [E!]
• George Clooney is being linked to Elisabetta Canalis, who hosts the Italian version of MTV's TRL. [Daily Express]
• Hold on to your ovaries: Jon Hamm vacation pictures. [Best Week Ever]
• Speaking of Jon Hamm, he'll star with Ben Affleck in The Town, a flick about a a bank robber who becomes smitten with the teller of a bank he held up. Hamm plays an FBI agent. [Variety]
• There were rumors that John Travolta was leaving the Church of Scientology, but his rep says, somewhat ominously: "There's no change in the relationship between the Church of Scientology and John. He is a member and it's as it was, now and forever." [People]
• On June 25, the day Michael Jackson died, Dr. Conrad Murray gave him the powerful anesthetic propofol through an IV sometime after midnight. [AP, AP]
• "Authorities believe Dr. Murray may have actually fallen asleep during the time the drug was administered and may have awakened to find Jackson already dead from heart failure. An IV drip of Propofol allows a constant, steady infusion of the drug for a period of time determined by the person administering it." [TMZ
• The toxicology report is expected any day now, and will play a role in whether Dr. Conrad Murray is charged with manslaughter. [People]
• "Michael Jackson's children could miss out on a $20 million life insurance payout – because an aide allowed the policy to lapse." [Telegraph]
• Paula Abdul still does not have a deal with American Idol. A source says: "She sees the big money Ryan Seacrest got, she knows that Simon is close to a huge deal, too. She feels like it's personal that she's not getting the same big numbers." Or! Gender gap??? No, but seriously: It's gotta suck to know your coworkers are bringing in millions more than you are. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Meryl Streep and Amy Adams have started the Julie And Julia promotional appearances! [Mirror]
• Kristin Davis has a new man, celebrity photographer Russell James. [People]
• Why did Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush break up? A source says: They never get to see each other, ever." [People]
• Wait, what? "Pink accuses Christina Aguilera of being a lesbian who wants to sleep with Lindsay Lohan." [ONTD]
• Yes! RuPaul's Drag Race Season 2 has its first contestant, and her name is Jessica Wild. Love the accent, and the energy — video at the link. [EW]
• Tobey Maguire's mom, Wendy, and brother, Weston, will be in a reality show called Growing Up Maguire; Weston rides motocross, skateboards and snowboards. [Page Six]
• Mariah Carey, Diddy and Lil Wayne were supposed to release albums this summer, but all have been delayed until September. [Reuters]
• Diddy ate dinner while gazing upon a billboard of himself. [Page Six]
• Elizabeth Mitchell from Lost is also on the new show V, and talks about joining the cast of the new show while still working on the other, and credits fans with keeping her character around. Video at the link. [EW]
• Lucy Lawless has nude scenes in her new Starz show, Spartacus, and in this video asks, "Have you ever been fitted for a merkin?" [EW]
• "A California judge appointed a lawyer Monday to oversee the estate of Nadya Suleman's octuplets, saying he wanted to ensure they weren't exploited by reality television shows, tabloid photo spreads or other paid ventures." [NY Daily News]
• Hitting on Keri Russell when she is with her kid doesn't impress Keri Russell. [Page Six]
• Dubliners took to the street and protested U2's noisy all-night stage dismantling, which caused the band's trucks to miss their ferry, which affected the tour schedule. [AP]
• Sir Sean Connery may come out of retirement to narrate a film about former servicemen involved in nuclear testing on Christmas Island in the Indian Ocean. [Daily Express]
• Dominic West is in a new film with "Bond girl" Olga Kurylenko and says: "I thought I was going to get involved in a mud wrestle with her, but, in the end, she had a 12-foot spear, so I didn't really get anywhere near her." [Telegraph]
• Uh-oh, Chris Tucker owes over $3 million in back taxes. Where has he been lately, anyway? [TMZ]
• Want Joan Rivers roast jokes? Get 'em here. A sample: "You're like Robo-Cop, you're half-human and nobody's given a shit about you since 1986." [Page Six]
• "Peter Andre has hinted that his estranged wife Jordan had a miscarriage with their baby due to excessive boozing during her pregnancy." [The Sun]
• "I love sickos. Dennis Nilsen, Fred and Rose West, Ted Bundy — I'm obsessed. I've always been into that kind of stuff — real cut-up, blood and gore murders." — Katie "Jordan" Price. [The Sun]
• "Pete dumped me by phone," Katie Price claims. [The Sun]
• "The Broadcasting Complaints Commission has upheld a complaint against RTÉ for allowing actor Gabriel Byrne to endorse Dublin City Council election candidate Mannix Flynn on the Late Late Show one week before the poll." [Irish Times]
• "Quentin got the Jewish director to do the Nazi propaganda film. [And] I thought I'd never do anything more disgusting than Hostel II." — Eli Roth on his Inglourious Basterds role. [Page Six]
• "We have a horrendous row within days of being reunited because it's annoying to have someone else telling you what to do and then we get over that and we are really happy." — Helen Mirren on her marriage to Taylor Hackford, whom she is often away from for months at a time. [Daily Express]
• "It's a lot different from anything I've done before. It's not a pop-rock record. This is more about emotion and feeling." — Avril Lavigne on her new album. [Reuters]
• "It's based on all of Lewis Carroll's material, including the 'Jabberwocky Poem.' Past 'Alice' films were always just a girl wandering around passively with a lot of weird characters. We tried to weave it into a story that has emotion to it and makes sense. I've seen many of the different versions of 'Alice' over the years. I know there was a musical porno movie I remember seeing in the '70s. And lots of other different versions." — Tim Burton on his Alice In Wonderland film. [Reuters]
• Q:What does Johnny Depp bring to the Mad Hatter? A: "He likes dressing up. I think with the Alice in Wonderland characters, they've often been portrayed as just crazy without much subtext, and I think he tried to bring something, an underlying human quality to the craziness. He tried to understand it a bit more...We try to give each character their own particular craziness. And he's good at sort of exploring that, I guess because he's crazy. I don't know." — Tim Burton. [Reuters]

Ryan Seacrest followed her around as she shared little bits of her life: she liked to draw, she liked to paint, she came from Allentown, PA and she wanted to be a singer. The editing is pure Idol: "Look at this wacky girl! She thinks she's going to be a popstar! Isn't that funny!?" Of course, there are two payoffs for such a clip: Alexis Cohen was either going to open her mouth and shock the judges with her voice, or she was going to fail her audition and flip out. Either way, Idol had a story on its hands:





Of course, Cohen's audition was unsuccessful; she tried to channel Grace Slick and was told she wasn't right for the competition, and that perhaps she'd find success in a 60s cover band of sorts. After she left the room, the judges, knowing that their words would be televised, compared her to Willem DeFoe and laughed. This is the Idol way: come try to make your dreams come true, so that we can humiliate you for the sake of television hilarity. Every successful reality show has to have its victims, its castoffs: some of these people come willingly, knowing how bad they are, just to be hyped up as terrible contestants and to receive their 15 minutes of fame. But then there are the Alexis Cohens of the world, who really do think they sound like Janis Joplin, and just want a chance to prove it.

This is not to say that all failed contestants should be let down easily: Cowell is blunt because he speaks for his profession: you're not going to make it, try something else is perhaps the kindest thing many of these wannabes will ever hear. But the humiliation element of American Idol is one that is both fascinating and horrifying: we want these people to be crushed, to be punished for their delusions, because it's funny to see them lose it once their dreams have been taken away. "That's what you get," we think, "for being so stupid."

But in watching Alexis Cohen, one gets the sense that perhaps she was not stupid, but just a bit naive. And perhaps her rant against the judges, which made her an American Idol celebrity in her own right, was not as funny as it was telling of the lengths people will go to to cling to the small amount of fame given to them once the camera is turned on. Cohen's "rage" comes across as both false and true, in weird ways, as if she decided somewhere after being rejected to just say what she was thinking, or perhaps an exaggerated version, if only to have her voice heard by millions for the first and only time in her life.

Idol knew they had ratings gold in Cohen: they allowed her to audition for a second time earlier this year, and promptly sent her home again. Why on earth would they let her audition again? They knew what she sounded like. They knew there was no chance they'd take her. They let her audition again to give the audience a thrill. "Look! It's that crazy girl! Let's see if she gives Simon the finger again!" And lo and behold, she did.

Cohen was in the process of preparing for her third callback audition with the show before she died, according to her mother, Mindy Dallow, who says Alexis was planning to sing a country song. "In a way, 'American Idol' appreciated her rowdy ways, she got them ratings," her mother said, "All she wanted to be is basically loved." They kept calling her back to audition, presumably to dismiss her for ratings purposes, and Alexis Cohen kept going back. Because she was asked. Because someone gave her yet another chance to try to make it.

And now, Alexis Cohen is dead, the victim of vehicular manslaughter at the age of 25. She was found on the side of the road at 4 am, pronounced dead a few hours later, and now she is being mourned as "Alexis Cohen: Viral Idol Contestant," her tiny brush with fame becoming the definitive moment in a life she barely had time to live. For the show, it means nothing, except perhaps a bit of publicity and a moment of silence, if that, in an upcoming episode. The show is not bound to Alexis Cohen: there are bigger stars, newer faces, stranger characters to seek out and exploit. But for Alexis Cohen, and for many other reality has-beens or almost-weres, the show is always bound to them, following them where ever they go, even in death, a reminder that our strangest realities are the ones we allow others to create on our behalf.

Alexis Cohen's Mother Speaks About Her Late Daughter's Third Idol Audition [Lehigh Valley Live]
Alexis Cohen, Viral Idol Contestant, Struck And Killed By Car [HuffingtonPost]
Former American Idol Contestant Killed [People]
American Idol Recap: "Take It!" Girl Alexis Cohen Returns With Makeover [Seacoast Online]
Related: The Girl Who Flipped Off Simon Cowell [Gawker]