• Breaking the hearts of every boy I went to elementary, middle, and high school with, Alyssa Milano married her boyfriend of three years, David Bugliari, in New Jersey yesterday. Bugliari's good friend, Bradley Cooper was in attendance. [People]

• Milano wore a Vera Wang gown and walked down the aisle to John Lennon's "Imagine." [E!]
• Madonna celebrated her 51st birthday in Poland earlier today, giving a concert for her fans, despite protests from local Catholics, who were angered that the singer's visit coincided with The Feast of the Assumption. [AP]
• Sting's daughter, Coco Sumner says that the rumors about her father's obsession with tantric sex were made up by his friend, Bob Geldof: "Bob Geldof made up this thing and it stuck and it's an international joke. It is a bit embarrassing when people bring it up. I don't really have anything to do with my parents' sex life. They love each other. So what?" [DailyMail]
• Kate Hudson's estranged father, Bill Hudson, is publicly asking the actress to reunite with him so that she can meet her 3-year-old half-sister, Lalania. DailyExpress]
• Robert Pattinson was attacked by three aliens at Comic Con! Naturally, he was terrified, until the "aliens" took off their masks to reveal they were just teenage Twilight fans. And then, of course, he was even more terrified. (No, not really. He was very nice to them, apparently.) [ShowbizSpy]
• Big Brother's Chima Simone was kicked off the program Friday night for "violating the rules," according to CBS. "She will not be part of the show's jury," the network says, "Her eviction will be addressed on an upcoming broadcast of the show." [EW]
• "I thought I'd asked enough people and triple-checked. But it is just one letter out, I think it's an easy fix. I think it's kind of funny too. How typical! As soon as I realised, I couldn't stop telling people and everyone would bust up laughing."- Hayden Panetierre on her misspelt tattoo [DailyMirror]
• Jennifer Westfeldt has reportedly been "angling" for a guest spot on boyfriend Jon Hamm's Mad Men, "but has been told by producers that 'they can't find the right storyline' for her." [PageSix]
• "I'm reacting against that attitude. This complete victimisation of the war with the violin music and the anti-war aspect to everything. These self-serious movies have been the deal for the past 20 years, whereas back in the 1940s, when the f***ing war was going on, it wasn't sacrilegious to make a war movie that dared to be entertaining. So I'm not going to apologise for being funny, or for making an exciting adventure movie."-Quentin Tarantino on Inglorious Basterds[TimesOnline]
• Just in case you care, Ashley Tisdale is NOT dating Taylor Lautner: "I have a bf. No idea where that got started." [ShowbizSpy]
• Tyra Banks eats frozen dinners and energy bars. Celebrities! They're just like us and so on and so forth. [PageSix]
• "I didn't have a normal social life, and sometimes I think it's why I'm insecure around a large group of people. I shut down a bit. People expect me to be what they see on stage, but that's not who I am in real life."-Beyonce [ShowbizSpy]
• Amy Winehouse is set to appear as a backup singer on the British television show Strictly Come Dancing in support of her goddaughter, 13-year-old Dionne Bromfield. [Mirror]
• Amy's estranged husband, Blake Fielder-Civil, says the two are talking again: ""We've been talking for the first time in months.I love her as much as ever. I know she still loves me, even though we're getting divorced. Maybe this time we can do everything properly and not mess it up." [NewsOfTheWorld]
• District 9 beat The Time Traveler's Wife at the box office on Friday, taking in 14.2 million dollars. [EW]
• Is Paula Abdul thinking of returning to American Idol? [TMZ]
• Meanwhile, Victoria Beckham has impressed the Idol producers during her guest stint on the show: "She was a revelation at the second audition and is now top of the list to permanently replace Paula," says a source, "She'd be crazy to turn it down. This job will set her up as a real star in the States." [NewsOfTheWorld]
• Katie Price claims her marriage to Peter Andre was a "sham." [DailyMail]
• George Michael says he was sober when he crashed into a truck on Friday: "Neither of us was charged because we were both stone cold sober. We both think the other is to blame so this is just an insurance fight. I don't want my fans or my family worried by what they are reading all over again." [TimesOnline]
• Lady Gaga's producer, Rob Fusari, says the singer has a "Tin Man heart" and that "to her men are like candy - take the wrapper off, chew it up a few times." [TheSun]
• Spencer Pratt celebrated his 26th birthday with a machine gun cake. As for Heidi Montag's birthday gift to her husband? A copy of her issue of Playboy, of course. A machine gun cake? Ugh. Team Cake does not approve of this mess. [JustJared]

• Is Brad Pitt done with showbiz? It almost seems like he's dropping hints:

"I think acting is a younger man's game," he says. "There are fewer interesting parts for older people and we all get older. But I feel like I've done it. I've kind of had my time and that's quite freeing. There are still acting dreams left but I'll do them first and then we'll talk about them." There's always architecture! [Daily Express]

• Jennifer Aniston embraces the lonely! "If I'm the emblem for 'this is what it looks like to be the lonely girl getting on with her life,' so be it." Jen tells Elle. "I can make fun of myself," she says. "And I'll bring it up as long as the world is bringing it up." [NY Post]
• Friends, today is the day: Some sites are participating in A Day Without Megan Fox. But over at E!, they're calling it Megan Fox Awareness Day, since she "drops wild nonsense in interviews, walks around wet, totally bends over in big dumb movies about robots, and then makes ballsy acting choices." [E!]
• Madonna did not, repeat, did not write a song dedicated to Guy Ritchie called "Eternal Love." Gossipeuse Liz Smith calls it a "hilarious rumor." [Variety]
• Page Six claims that the "gay spin" on Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson — as played by Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law in Guy Ritchie's flick, out on Christmas Day, could "backfire." Former Post movie critic Michael Medved says: "Who is going to want to see Downey Jr. and Law make out? I don't think it would be appealing to women." Sir, you are wrong. [Page Six]
• Oscar-winning screenwriter Dustin Lance Black is suing Starzlife.com for posting explicit photographs of him having sex with a guy named Jeff Delancy. Invasion of privacy, copyright infringement, etc. [ONTD]
• Aw, sweet: NYPD cops are worried about Robert Pattinson: "We have celebrities a lot bigger than this guy who can come and go in perfect safety because we know how to take the right precautions. We have presidents and kings come and go. This poor kid can't get in or out of a car without things getting dangerous." [MSNBC]
• E! landed an "exclusive" interview with Kate Major, aka "Kate 2.0" and in this preview she says vague things like "Do I regret anything? Not really." And: "It is a huge relief to finally talk." Uh, you were talking the whole time. And seriously, how did the paparazzi know you went to dinner with the dude? Who has photographer's phone numbers: Jerk Gosselin or you, a Star magazine reporter? And isn't it funny how that shot of you guys going out to dinner made the cover of Star? [E!]
• By the by, check out this Kate Gosselin-esque wig. The prediction is that you'll be seeing a lot of them come Halloween. [LA Times]
• Rihanna had ice cream with the record exec responsible for putting Chris Brown's song in a Wrigley's commercial. Hmm. [Page Six]
• An animated music video directed by the late Heath Ledger premieres online today; it's for Modest Mouse's song "King Rat" and can be seen on MySpace. [Newser, NME]
• Michael Douglas's son Cameron: Busted for meth. [TMZ]
• Dina Lohan and Michael Lohan: Spotted acting friendly at a charity event. [Page Six]
• Why does Michael Jackson's dermatologist Dr. Arnold Klein claim to have "unique interests" in the custody of MJ's kids? Is he indeed the bio-dad? [MSNBC Scoop]
• Kathy Hilton, who met Michael Jackson when they were teens, says: "I adore Mrs. Jackson. Katherine is the rock." Of MJ, Kathy says: "People think that they knew him and they didn't. His generosity, sense of humor, the mischievous giggle, the laugh." [People]
• It's confirmed that Kara DioGuardi will return to American Idol, and Fox execs are singing her praises. Mike Darnell, president of alternative programming, says she has a "spitfire personality and sharp musical sensibility" and gave the show "new energy"; executive producer Simon Fuller says, "She is a breath of fresh air and her passion for music and her understanding of talent is invaluable." What does all this mean for Paula Abdul? [People]
• Someone overheard Mischa Barton talking about having a stalker. [Page Six]
• Travis Barker and Shanna Moakler are planning to remarry, one year after finalizing their divorce. "We would like to renew our vows and have another wedding," Shanna says. "It's not so much about the wedding but about having a celebration of each other and getting through all the crazy things we've been through." And: "When you almost lose a loved one, it makes you appreciate things you took for granted." [ONTD]
• There's a request for a restraining order against Daniel Baldwin — issued by a woman in Malibu. She fired her nanny, who is Baldiwn's niece, and Baldwin called the house and "left a hostile message." [Radar Online]
• 24's Mary Lynn Rajskub married personal trainer Matthew Rolph in Las Vegas over the weekend, in a casino with Elvis playing. But! "Our wedding was beautiful, spontaneous and intimate," she says. [People]
• Dearest Hugh Jackman, of course we will go see you play P.T. Barnum in The Greatest Showman on Earth, a musical flick put together by the peeps who did your Academy Awards extravaganza. Especially since Mika is in talks to do the music and lyrics. [Variety]
• Griffin O'Neal is spilling all kinds of shit about his dad, Ryan O'Neal. For instance: His father attempted to shoot him; Ryan was unfaithful to Farrah Fawcett; Ryan gave Redmond cash for drugs. [CNN]
• Hulk smash jitterbug! Lou Ferrigno is headed to Dancing With The Stars. [Life & Style]
• Click for an excellent snap of Jack Nicholson getting down on the dancefloor in the South of France. [NY Post]
• Jenna Elfman has a sitcom on CBS this fall, but she did go through a dark period where shows got canceled and development deals failed for various reasons. "It was quite a challenging four or five years in my life." [LA Times]
• Alyssa Milano has an ABC comedy pilot, Romantically Challenged, which looks like it might get picked up. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Chelsea Handler is the worst boss ever in a video at the link. [E!]
• Laguna Beach alum Jason Wahler got drunk and threw his shoes at people. [TMZ]
• Kevin Costner will return to Alberta, Canada to lend support to those injured by a stage collapse at a country music festival where he was set to perform. [Mirror]
• "Julianna Margulies slapped Chris Noth three times for the scene in the pilot in which The Good Wife goes bad. In a good way.The first time, she didn't hit him hard enough. The second time, the camera was off. The third time, she left a red welt on his face. 'Chris Noth is so great,' she said at press tour on Monday. 'He's like, 'Oh, please, I've been hit so many times.'" [LA Times]
• Will The Sopranos make it to the big screen, as a movie? [Gatecrasher]
• Fifty years ago, Jayne Mansfield cut a ribbon at the Chiswick Flyover, a stretch of elevated road in west London. To celebrate the 50th anniversary of the flyover, Mansfield's daughter Mariska Hargitay has been invited to an event. [Telegraph]
• "I haven't done it yet, but I'm excited... I'm lucky – yeah, I know." — Gerard Butler, on kissing Jennifer Aniston in scenes for The Bounty. [People]

• Is Britney being forced to tour? An insider says she's emotionally fragile, but her father insists the show must go on. The source claims:

"It's a freak show right now. [Britney's] phoning every song in. It's pretty obvious she is not happy to be here." [MSNBC via E!]

• Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart hung out after the MTV Movie awards and got cozy and OMG maybe something is going on and OMG it's just like Twilight OMG. [Gatecrasher]
• A source says Susan Boyle has been flooded with offers from all over the world, but Simon Cowell says, "Susan isn't signing anything or doing anything until she is better." Yes, thank you, Captain Obvious. [Daily Express]
• According to this report, Susan Boyle collapsed before being hospitalized — she had been crying all day and then passed out in her room; when she was admitted to the clinic, she wailed, "Where's Pebbles?" Medics arranged a phone call to her "beloved cat." [The Sun]
• This paper calls what happened to Susan Boyle an "anxiety attack." [Mirror]
• BGT Judge Amanda Holden says of Susan Boyle: "It's probably a blessing she didn't win as it takes off some of the pressure. Perhaps now she can relax." [Telegraph]
• Uh, Prince Charles watches Britain's Got Talent? [Telegraph]
• "Susan Boyle and Jon & Kate Gosselin are victims ... and YOU'RE to blame." [NY Daily News]
• In a poll, 48% of people who bothered to answer think that the eight Gosselin kids from Jon & Kate Plus 8 will be worse off for having taken part in the show. [USA Today]
• So, are Jon and Kate's "plus 8" being exploited? This columnist writes, "Of course they are." [MSNBC Scoop]
• What does Nadya Suleman think of all this? "[Kate] needs to stop being so judgmental and stop pulling at straws for attention. My children are extremely healthy, strong and happy. Don't you have, like, a lot of issues in your life? A lot of marital problems? Why are you so desperate to glob on to my life? For attention?" Wait, what? [Radar Online]
• Lady GaGa would like to have a foursome with the Jonas Brothers. "I love them. They're very talented!" [Gatecrasher]
• Beth Ditto looks pretty awesome on the cover of Attitude magazine. Inside, she calls "I Kissed A Girl" a "boner dyke" anthem for "straight girls who like to turn guys on by making out or like faking gay." And! She says: "I hate Katy Perry! She's offensive to gay culture, I'm so offended. She's just riding on the backs of our culture, without having to pay any of the dues and not being actually lesbian or anything at all. She's on the cover of a fucking gay magazine." [Perez]
• Amy Winehouse's "Caribbean detox" is not exactly going as planned: By 9am she's had two shots of tequila, and this reporter says, "You can see scars which indicate that she has been self-harming - cutting herself - again and there are two cigarette burns on her stomach, which are healing." A worker in the resort says: "Over the past couple of weeks she's been drinking more and more. She used to have colour in her drinks - you know, juice - but now all I can see is clear liquid." [Daily Mail]
• Remember that Maserati Lindsay Lohan was cruising around in? It's yours, if you have $25,000 — check eBay. Fender benders? What fender benders? [TMZ]
• Shia LaBeouf will star in the latest John Grisham novel-turned-movie. [Gatecrasher]
• Adam Lambert's mom was asked about her son's sexuality and said, "I would rather not answer until it comes out." Interesting choice of words! She also says: "We signed a contract with Idol and unless it has been set up by them, I'm not allowed to answer." [E!]
• You probably guessed this, but the Eminem/Bruno stunt at the MTV Movie Awards was staged. [EW, LA Times]
• An insider says that Eminem was actually the second choice — Paris Hilton was MTV's first choice. Eminem was definitely the funnier choice. [Life & Style]
• Evan Rachel Wood: Seen making out with Shane West in Las Vegas. [Page Six]
• Some stalkerazzo asked Michael Jackson if he was gonna tour with the Jackson 5 and MJ nodded yes, so TMZ is reporting that there will indeed be a special one-night concert with the Jackson 5 and Janet in Texas. [TMZ]
• The very fabric of the world unravels as we discover that Robert De Niro stole his famous "You talkin' to me?" line in Taxi Driver from Bruce Springsteen. [Daily Express]
• What will Olympic gymnast and Dancing With The Stars winner Shawn Johnson do next? Go to college. She's narrowed it down to Stanford or UCLA and says, "I'm not sure what I'll be studying yet. Maybe I'll choose something in the medical field." [Gatecrasher]
• Nicole Kidman dropped out of a Woody Allen movie, in which she was to play a call girl, and Brit actress Lucy Punch has taken over the role. She has similar alabaster skin, so maybe that's integral to the part? [Page Six]
• What the world needs now: A Dubai version of Paris Hilton's My New BFF. Except, since it's the UAE, there's no alcohol, and swearing, sexually explicit conversation or risque clothing will be kept to a minimum. How sad is it that we live in a world where it's hard to picture a reality show without all that? [Variety]
• The Veronicas are in talks with MTV about launching a reality show in the U.S. — it would be a behind-the-scenes look at their life in the music scene. [News.com.au]
• Mel Gibson: Hasn't been taking communion recently. Probably because, technically, he is an adulterer. [People]
• Peter Andre is now living in a "huge seaside pad" in Hove, East Sussex — just a 30 minute drive from his estranged wife Katie "Jordan" Price and their kids. [The Sun]
• Here, the manse is called his "dream home." [Daily Mail]
• Peter Andre says: "I've been 100 per cent faithful throughout my marriage and still am." [Mirror]
• Put on your blonde wig and sing: The Disney Channel has ordered a fourth season of Hannah Montana. [Variety]
• The subject of the NY Times' Frequent Flier column today is Duff McKagan, of Guns N' Roses, Velvet Revolver and Loaded. He talks about bribing immigration officers of South American countries so his band could get in, and says: "Although I've never been convicted of a felony or even a misdemeanor, I have a suspicion that I'm persona non grata in airports. I'm always the guy that gets 'randomly' selected for a more thorough security check. I'm really the most nonthreatening of travelers. I mean, how much of a scene can I cause when I spend time doing crossword puzzles? I'm actually a crossword puzzle fanatic." [NY Times]
• Stephen Dorff is dating his publicist. [Page Six]
• Alyssa Milano will star in and produce a romcom called My Girlfriend's Boyfriend. The plot: An outgoing woman meets two seemingly ideal men in quick succession — a struggling novelist and successful ad exec — and must decide between them. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Excellent news: Sade is working on her first album in nine years. [Reuters]
• "A previously unseen photograph of Jane Fonda as Barbarella by Paul Joyce is to go on display." [Telegraph]
• Did you know that John Ratzenberger has been part of every Pixar release over the last 14 years? [USA Today]
• Jerry Springer razzle dazzled in his London debut playing the lawyer Billy Flynn in the hit musical Chicago. [Daily Mail]
• Blind item! "Which old-school pair of actor brothers constantly tag-team at parties, picking up the youngest girls they can find?" [Gatecrasher]
• "Don't call it 'civics' because 'civics' is easily the most boring word in America. Call it what it is: political power. I've got a very simple thing her. I've got a nonprofit initiative to get K-12 grades back to civics, to give our children real-world knowledge and hopefully wisdom about how to run this complex governance system. That's it. That's enough." — Richard Dreyfuss, on the The Dreyfuss Initiative. [AP]
• "He's a social butterfly, and loves being on tour. He loves it so much, he thinks it's absolutely hilarious to embarrass me as much as possible. For example, [I'm] walking into the hotel lobby after returning from dinner. It's a quiet, serene, beautiful when … Screaming voice from out of nowhere: 'HEY! THAT'S TAYLOR SWIFT!!' Me: 'Dad. Please stop doing that.'" — Taylor Swift. [People]
• "This season I made it like a sorority, the Paris sorority. It's about sisterhood, and they have to follow certain rules. In real life, you know, I'm not that superficial." — Paris Hilton, on the new season of My New BFF. [Mirror via E!]
• "I couldn't have given him kids - and anyway I want black kids, not white kids." — Amy Winehouse, on the news that her husband Blake is expecting a child with a blonde he met in rehab. [Daily Mail]
• "I stopped doing (romantic comedies). They are terrible; they are bad. They are not funny, so they shouldn't be a romantic comedy and most of the time they are not romantic. So they shouldn't be called a romantic comedy. They should be called that other kind of film. I'm not calling [The Proposal] a romantic comedy." — Sandra Bullock. [MSNBC]
• "Kanye West is the person pissing me off right now. The entire time Kanye is going, 'They need more fur in this show.' He just wouldn't shut up about how he loved fur. I mean, he's saying this to me, the PETA guy and Paul McCartney! I was just so grossed out by him. I'm like, 'You're an idiot!' There are so many people who I think are a waste of skin and he's up there. I should wear him." — Pink, to FHM Australia. [The Life Files]

• Miley Cyrus wants to dump her boyfriend Justin Gaston, but her father doesn't approve:

According to the National Enquirer, "Billy Ray thinks Justin is a solid, stand-up Christian guy who keeps his nose clean and stays out of trouble," says a source. But: "It's finally dawning on (Miley) that she's young, rich and famous," the source said. "And she can have any guy she's interested in." [MSNBC via National Enquirer]

• Poor Jonas Brothers: Their new show has fewer viewers than Miley Cyrus' Hannah Montana. [LA Times]
• Lindsay Lohan is hazardous to little sister Ali Lohan's health, says a psychiatrist who does not treat either of them. "If you have an older child who is breaking a lot of the rules and engaging in dangerous and risky behavior, this can have a negative impact on the younger child," says Dr. Eva Ritvo. Um, duh. [NY Daily News]
• The self-proclaimed father of Mercy, the child Madonna is trying to adopt, is being called an "opportunist" by Mercy's family. [NY Daily News]
• Did writer James Frey tape his phonecalls with Oprah Winfrey or did he just make it seem like he did, in a new "fictional" passage in his book? [Page Six]
• George Clooney is willing to help his buddy Rande Gerber — Cindy Crawford's husband — in regards to that sexual-harassment lawsuit filed against him. Turns out Cloons was with Gerber the night of the alleged incident. This should get interesting… [E!]
• Gerber says both he and Clooney are willing to take lie detector tests! [MSNBC Scoop]
• Unsolicited uterus update: Is Gisele Bundchen pregnant? [Page Six]
• Courteney Cox ran into Brad Pitt at a concert — you know, her best friend's ex-husband — and "chatted away" with him all night. Page Six seems to think this was evil of her. [Page Six]
• Spencer Pratt spoke to The Daily Beast, dropping gems like: "Heidi and I do we love fame… We're honored to be famous. We feel blessed to be famous. We pray every day to stay famous. It's the most fun. That's our mentality with fame. That's why we're so different than everybody else in these tabloids-because we embrace it." He also says: "Interscope can put $18 million behind Nicole Scherzinger's flop solo album, but Heidi and I are going the underground route, where iTunes takes its cut, and the rest goes to Heidi. Sure, Lady Gaga's got hit songs, but she's eating at Taco Bell. Heidi's got amazing songs and has her portrait on the wall at Cut [steak house in Los Angeles]." And! "Twittering is an absolute gift from God." [The Daily Beast]
• So you know how Jessica Simpson is, inexplicably, on the June cover of Vanity Fair? The mag's PR director says it's because: "She's at a crossroads in her career… Where she's headed - or not - says a lot about the nature of celebrity in America. And she looks pretty decent in a swimsuit, contrary to recent reports." All together now: *headdesk.* [MSNBC Scoop]
• Amy Winehouse has been "frolicking" with a "mystery man" in St. Lucia; as seen in these pictures, dude is dark & lovely. He may be a "local sheller" named Anton Moses; a source says: "Amy has become very cozy with Anton. Amy sets aside every evening to spend time with him and each day he saves her his best shell." [Daily Mail]
• The woman who is accused of having a thing with Jon Gosselin of Jon & Kate Plus 8 speaks! Deanna Hummel says: "We're just friends." [People]
• Susan Boyle is so popular now she's had to changed her phone number. For her home phone, that is: The "technophobe" has been given a mobile phone but is "nervous" about using it. [The Sun]
• Dolly Parton's children's book, I Am A Rainbow, drops May 14. "It's about moods - pink for shy, red for angry, green for jealous," she says. "It teaches children that we all have these moods; it's about what you do with them." [USA Today]
• Liam Neeson has spoken to the ski instructor who last saw Natasha Richardson alive. A source says: "He was very dignified and never sought to blame anyone - he just wanted to understand what happened for his own peace of mind." [The Sun]
• NBC wants advertisers to know that Jay Leno is "advertiser friendly," and "not afraid to experiment with live commercials and with sponsorships." Which doesn't sound desperate at all! [AdAge]
• "Since swine flu is super trendy I wanted to make sure I was in style with my swine flu ring!" blogged Katy Perry. There's a picture of her new ring, which is a sparkly flying piggy. Katy also blogged about a conversation she had with her cat, Kitty Purry: "Kitty Purry was telling me the other night that she remembers when bird flu was in and now pig flu is cool and she wonders when kitty flu is gonna hit," writes Perry, "as she would like to be more popular than she currently already is. Fame whore." [People]
• Ed Westwick was spotted kissing costar Jessica Szohr at the BritWeek charity football match in L.A., but when asked if his girlfriend was there to support him, Westwick answered, "My who?" [Mirror]
• Christina Aguilera will make her silver screen debut in a flick called Burlesque. She'll play "an ambitious smalltown girl with a big voice who finds love, family and success in a Los Angeles neo-burlesque club." In other words, yes, she will sing. [Variety]
• Jack White wants Kate Moss on his new band Dead Weather's album. As an aside: White Moss would be a cool name for a band. [The Sun]
• By the by, Meg White is engaged to guitarist Jackson Smith, son of Patti Smith and Fred Smith. [People]
• Also betrothed: Alyssa Milano and CAA agent Dave Bugliari, who just had an engagement party Saturday. [E!]
• Bebe Neuwirth was wed to Chris Calkins, founder of Napa Valley's Destino vineyard, in a "quiet" Buddhist/Christian ceremony performed by Peter Coyote, who has one of the best voices in showbiz. [Page Six]
• Mad Men! Returns! But will be sorta delayed! It was supposed to come back in July! But we'll have to wait until August! Still! Mad Men! Returns! [Variety]
• Click the link at the end of this sentence if you would like to see a giant Lego portrait of JK Rowling, which kids helped build. [Telegraph]
• Your friend Billy Zane has baby fever! "I'm single right now — and kind of loving it," he says. "[But] I hear the patter of little feet. But I foresee that - I sense it, I feel it, I feel it coming. It's just a sense that you get. I think I'm ready for fatherhood. But I'm not out there hunting for my bride - as of yet." Then he got in the lifeboat and left you behind. [Daily Express]
• Ed McMahon, who was suing L.A.'s Cedars-Sinai hospital for misdiagnosing a neck fracture, has settled his lawsuit. [TMZ]
• "Dallas star Victoria Principal 'threatened maid with a gun after accusing her of taking too long walking her dog.'" [Daily Mail]
• "It's peculiar and unnerving in a way to see so many young people walking around with cellphones and iPods in their ears and so wrapped up in media and video games. It robs them of their self-identity. It's a shame to see them so tuned out to real life." — Bob Dylan to Rolling Stone. [Page Six]
• "You know, I've seen him [Springsteen] several times in concert, and I've only met him twice and I put out my hand and I mumbled. I couldn't get a sentence out. The same thing happened with Mick Jagger. We were on the plane coming back from Miami." — Henry Winkler, aka The Fonz. [Daily Express]
• "I no longer feel insecure about my acting. Early on I took any job that was offered, milking it for the money. I had no idea what I was doing - that's when insecurity and self-loathing start." — Tom Hanks, star of Turner Y Hooch. [Mirror]
• "My friend's mom, Wendy, blogs almost daily on a site called Wendy from Encore which goes great with my morning coffee. I like to catch up with my friends across the country by reading their blogs, which is ironic as the phrases 'my friend's blog,' 'blogging' or 'blogosphere' always make me cringe. I just happen to have some very clever friends who are wonderful writers and offer up a slice of real everyday life." — Scarlett Johansson. [The Daily Beast]
• "I always find it funny that so much skin-cream advertising features, like, Jessica Alba. She's gorgeous and 12!" — Brooke Shields to More. [Page Six]

• Wow, Lindsay Lohan and Sean Penn nuzzled at a private dinner for Milk last week. Samantha Ronson was not present. What does it all mean? [Fox 411]
• Photographs of Jennifer Aniston in a wet T-shirt with a "visible breast" are in a calendar, but a spokesperson says, "I don't think this is legal." [Times Of India]
• In this interview to promote Marley & Me, Jennifer Aniston gets pissy about her personal life, and when asked about the "difficult times," Owen Wilson walks out. [USA Today]
• Oh, dear: Amy Winehouse's husband, Blake Fielder-Civil, wants $1.6 million to walk away from the marriage and not write a tell-all book. All together now: What kind of fuckery is this? [Perez Hilton]
• Another divorce payout: Madonna will reportedly give Guy Ritchie about £32 million in cash and prizes. [Telegraph]

• In this interview, Brtiney's mom, Lynne Spears, says she almost called her autobiography All My Fault. "I can laugh about it now, but did I feel that way at the time? Yes, I did and, if I'm being totally honest, I still do," she says. Lynne also talks about being worried that Britney will kill herself, the conservatorship and what's missing in Britney's life. [Daily Mail]
• David Beckham was being followed by paparazzi, so he and his bodyguard got out of the car and started punching photographers through the other car's window. [E!]
• Click to see a picture of David Beckham bungee jumping in New Zealand! [Mirror]
• Mary-Kate Olsen: Not pregnant, which makes it okay that she was in Miami, "smoking and drinking vodka cocktails all night." [Page Six]
• Ouch! Man Vs. Wild host Bear Grylls injured his shoulder in Antarctica during an expedition to raise money for charity. [CNN]
• What does Scarlett Johansson want for Christmas? Tickets to Barack Obama's inauguration ball! [Mirror]
• Is 42-year-old Janet Jackson knocked up? [Perez Hilton]
• Heath Ledger was posthumously named best actor by the Australian Film Institute for his role in The Dark Knight. [Reuters]
• Heidi Montag's mom suggested maybe Heidi was drugged before she married Spencer Pratt; Heidi says: "I want to make it very clear to family, friends and fans that the decision to marry Spencer was very much mine." Ugh, we know. [Contact Music]
• Perez Hilton has a book, you guys. Inside, predictions such as: "Britney will be probably be dead. I believe she came pretty close to the stripper pole in the sky the last time she hit rock bottom." And! Nicole Richie "will be really fat in her old age. Her body will rebel and she’ll weigh almost 180 lbs. OMG!" [Gatecrasher]
• America Ferrera will be the master of ceremonies at a debt-retirement "conversation" with Hillary Clinton. The Senator has $7.5 million in campaign debt, yikes. [MSNBC]
• Poor Barbra Streisand got a kiss from President Bush, whom she loathes, at the Kennedy Center honors. [NY Post]
• In an interview with Gwyneth Paltrow and her friend/trainer, Tracy Anderson (who also trains Madonna), Gwynnie reveals: "When I was about 25, I started doing ashtanga yoga every day. I did Pilates for a while and was always disciplined about it, but I never got the results I get with this. After my first 10 days I lost 11 inches!" [Gotham Magazine]
• Want Kanye West to appear at an after-party? Better have $40,000. [News.com.au]
• If you have $8.5 million, you can scoop up Jennifer Lopez's Bel Air estate. [TMZ]
• Jamie Foxx jokes that he's trying to pick out Barack Obama's Christmas puppy right now: "I think I'm going to get him a pitbull, we just got to keep it street." [Yahoo News]
• Lily Allen "swaps grungy guys for a more mature gent": She went to the ballet with her grandfather. [Mirror]
• Oh, and Lily Allen is sticking up for Amy Winehouse: "Yes, she does get out of her mind on drugs sometimes, but she is also a very clever, intelligent, witty, funny person who can hold it together. I mean, there aren't that many people with whom the press concentrate on their personality so much. I think in the UK, as far as females go, it's mainly me and her that get that treatment. She gets it more than I do. But I don't see it that much with other people." [Mirror]
• Keanu Reeves is trying to quit smoking. "I didn't even start until I was 30," he says. "Now it's a prison. I want to stop." [Daily Mail]
• Due to the economy, Kate Hudson is having a handmade Christmas: "We've always been pretty crafty anyway," she says. "We all knit. The girls knit. This year I’m doing these great big knit… Well, actually I shouldn’t even talk about it because I can’t say it!" [People]
• Wow, Catherine Hardwicke, who directed Twilight, won't be directing the sequel. What will become of the fangless, unscary vampires now? [EW]
• Terri Seymour on her breakup with Simon Cowell: "Simon will be a hard act to follow. But on the bright side at least I will be able to use the mirror. He used to take forever in the mornings." [Mirror]
• Suri Cruise is a budding artist. [Daily Mail]
• Dame Judi Dench was presented with a lifetime achievement award by The European Film Academy at a gala in Copenhagen, Denmark. [UPI]
• Jonny Lee Miller's wife, Michele Hicks, gave birth to a baby boy, Buster Timothy Miller. Will Buster get to play with the Jolie-Pitt kids? Jonny is still friends with ex-wife Angelina Jolie, right? [Yahoo News]
• Another day, another stalker: Alyssa Milano is seeking a temporary restraining order against a man who hiked miles to try and reach her and has displayed "increasingly threatening behavior." [AP]
• Chris Klein and Ginnifer Goodwin: Splitsville. [ET]
• Uterus news: Eric Dane says he and wife Rebecca Gayheart are "trying" to have kids. [ET]
• Another important message from Natalie Portman and Rashida Jones. [Funny Or Die]
• Blind item! "Which supposedly straight funnyman keeps getting caught in West Village dives propositioning men by opening his legs and winking? We hear the B-lister had a few takers." [Gatecrasher]
• 'Tis the season? There are six Holocaust-themed movies this winter. [Page Six]
• The Fonz, Henry Winkler, had terrible dyslexia: "I'd look at a menu, which I couldn't read, then ask what everyone else was having and choose from that. Or if I was out with a girl I'd tell her I loved the way she spoke and get her to read the whole menu to me. I got through life by listening very carefully to what people said and learning that way. As I got older I learned to ask for help." [Daily Mail]
• Is Danity Kane/Hairspray's Aubrey O'Day gay? [Page Six]
• "I'm 41. Everybody says I'd be dead. Well, I wouldn't be dead, I'd just be a little caricature of a rock star. Who wants to be a drug addict at 41? Listen, I'm 41, I've got two kids, I don't expect a 16-year-old to be looking to me for inspiration. It's the Arctic Monkeys' job now. I've done my bit. Now we go in the studio and it's just like, let's make some records, let's do it cos we love it." — Noel Gallagher. [Guardian]
• "I didn't want to see her journey belittled. She was not a stereotypical long-suffering wife who just chastised her husband when he was grumpy and took care of the kids. She was extremely capable, and she was forward thinking. Looking back, she was clearly a feminist." — Laura Linney on her role as Abigail Adams in John Adams. [Telegraph]
• "I'm just really lazy. Too lazy to phone the cleaning lady. But I do have a German boyfriend. He can't help cleaning. Recently he came back from a long trip and he kissed me and immediately went and cleaned the toilet." — Rufus Wainwright. [Newsweek]
• "I'm at a strange age. I'm not a woman yet, but I'm not a girl any more. [Film companies] say, 'Oh, in a couple of years you’ll be perfect for this.' I'll be like, yeah, but I want to be studying English then, so it’s going to be quite tough to choose between the two. I'm going to have a battle on my hands, because after Harry Potter has finished, I don't know. I definitely want to go to university." — Emma Watson. [Times Of London]
• "I will not be shagging Russell Brand. Just because I gave him my number does not mean I’ll be going on a date with him. I was the subject of one of his calls once, but I didn’t answer the phone thank goodness! I just saw his name come up on the screen and thought: 'I don’t think I’m going to answer that right now.' He was on air and it was just good female intuition. I had another conversation with him on the radio shortly before he left his radio show and he is a lot fun. I like him. And I can totally handle guys like that." — Dita Von Teese. [The Sun]

Wait, isn't a definition of 'insanity' when a person keeps doing the same thing hoping for a different result? Maybe if Alyssa really wants to get hitched and start having kids, she needs to move on to the boys in the PGA. They love them some trophy wives and baby-making.

Alyssa Milano Plays The Field [USMagazine]
Related: Who's The Next MLB Player To Bang Alyssa Milano? [Deadspin]
Earlier: Alyssa Milano, Sports Slut

Featured Touch By Alyssa Milano Selections [MLB]
Related: Cease And Desist — The Pink Hats Have Got To Go [Basegirl]
*Touch* 'Em All [AlyssaMLBlogs]