This sounds like something from Ally McBeal, except the woman would then sue the cardboard man for something insane and the lawyers would talk about how she was a crazy single woman. Then she would give an impassioned monologue about something, and it would convince them to take her case, and the Ally would realize that they are just the same.
Jeez, Dodai, don't you know it's performance art? We're used to seeing restaurants a specific way, but this woman wanted to test our perceptions by bringing in James Fr...I mean Stan.
I just broke up with my longtime boyfriend and I have very few friends with whom I rarely hang out, so I'm alone a lot. But I haven't worked up the courage to go out by my self yet, let alone with a cardboard cut out. That takes serious nerve. So I'm kind of in awe of that woman. And if it was an art project, that's even cooler. I wonder how her fellow restaurant-goers responded.
You know something funny? You can be in a cozy relationship with a great person. You can go to dinner with that person and sit across from him/her, and smile, and still feel alone and lonesome. You can go out with a group of friends and laugh and dance and booze it up and still feel all alone. I don't think loneliness is something only this or that person experiences in this or that situation. I think for some people, loneliness is always close by, and no matter what you're doing or who you're spending your time with or how many minutes per day you spend on the phone or the internet talking to people, you're pretty much guaranteed to feel lonely at some point or another. I don't think it's like that for everybody, but I've always been that type, and even though I'm never alone anymore, I still feel lonely sometimes. Having endured plenty of isolation and loneliness in previous days, I can see why people might go to such lengths to have something to connect with. Sometimes you just get tired of your own company, I guess.
I've lived alone since I graduated from my masters program and moved 1500 miles from home. My family and closest friends are between 1500-3000 miles away from me. As a result I eat out alone, I go to movies alone, I go shopping alone. I'm okay with this.
I think it's an important thing to learn how to do, honestly. You shouldn't miss out on something just because everyone else you know doesn't want to do it.
I have no judgment for this, and I don't see why anyone would. Of course, I'm an only child and I'm used to deal with situations where I have to do things on my own or they won't happen, but the way I see it, bringing a cardboard companion to a restaurant is not that different to reading a book or a magazine, or concentrating on your knitting while you sit by yourself at a coffee shop.
Bizarrely for an only child, I never had an imaginary friend, but I don't see what's the problem with creating a fantasy companion when you're older, considering that the type of societies we live in are the ones that create so many hurdles to human interaction.
I'd never judge anyone for doing this (although I think that an art project is the most likely backstory), but if it's not a stunt, it makes me sad. I think there's a big difference between talking to yourself - or a pet - and creating a paper person that you take out in public and treat like another human being. When you're actually alone, you don't feel self conscious about talking to yourself or pets (or inanimate objects), but I think doing it in public - and going to the trouble of carrying around your cardboard chum - means transgressing some pretty big social boundaries, which indicates something bigger, and sadder, than ordinary loneliness.
And the idea of anyone being lonely really upsets me. I used to visit an elderly woman who lived near my old office - I met her one day when she was outside letting her dog go to the loo, and she invited me into her house - I was so worried that she'd do this to any random psycho that I kept checking up on her. She had a son who seemed to turn up every week to leave ready-meals in her fridge and a tiny dog who she used to feed on biscuit crumbs. I don't think she talked to anyone else from one end of the week to the other. I once called in and saw that she had no bread, milk or loo roll and went over to the supermarket to get basic supplies - she said it was the nicest thing anyone had done for her ever. She broke my heart. I couldn't get to visit her after I left the job and I often wonder if she's okay. Just the thought of her sitting there with no one to talk to makes me tear up. These days I donate money to Alone (an excellent charity that provides companionship to isolated older people) every month, but I really should donate time.
@Residentdrunkgirl: You know, those portable TV's just came out. I can't remember what they're called but I keep seeing the commercial for them with the Mom who pretends to be haggered so that she can have an hour with her portable TV. My point is, it may not be long before people just bring their TV with them to restaurants.
When I was waiting tables I had a couple come in with two garbage bags and request a table for four with high chairs. They proceeded to remove about 20 stuffed animals from their garbage bags and set them around the table. (putting their two favorite in the high chairs) They then ordered kids meals for the two in the high chairs and proceeded with their meal like everything was normal.
I didn't mind. I just figured they were lonely and couldn't have kids. I felt glad more than anything that they found each other.
I don’t have a lot of female friends nearby and I tend to shop alone, which really doesn’t bother me at all. I don’t know why, but I tend to get strange looks from people. I mean, it’s not like I’m talking to myself or exhibiting any other abnormal behavior. Is a woman out shopping alone so strange? Maybe if I brought Stan along no one would notice.
@stella_vegbik: If that's wrong, I don't want to be right. In fact, as much as I love my friends, I HATE shopping with them. I'm the kind of person who can tell within the first minute of being in a store whether I'm going to buy something; most of my friends need to be convinced that there is absolutely nothing on any shelf or rack that they need to buy, for themselves, their sisters, their husbands, and on and on. So maybe those people who are staring at you are jealous, because they're stuck in Friend Shopping Hell.
@ronniedobbs: I hate shopping with my friends because when I do go shopping with them (ok, one in particular) she immediately thinks everything I point out or ask her opinion on is for her or we end up spending all our time in the stores she shops in and zero time in the places I like.
On a side note, commenting on Jez makes me realize how crap some of my friends are.
@ronniedobbs: Oh I hate shopping with people like you!
I totally understand what you're saying though I tend to know exactly what I'm looking for and where I will find it and it's almost always online. But on the rare occasion I DO go shopping with someone - I take 2x as long to shop and I always feel pressured to rush. I'd much rather be on my tod.
If we're shopping for jeans, why are you picking up that sweater? There's nothing in Nine West for us, keep walking! When did L'Occitane start selling clothes?
You MAKE me lie to you by PRESSURING me to rush! I asked if you wanted to "go shopping." Not "go buying" or "go looking!" Why'd you even agree to come?! Let's just go. I'll come back later. By. My. SELF!!!
@winner: The pressure thing is the worst. I'm selfish with mall time; wandering aimlessly for other people's needs drives me nuts, but on the flip side, I don't want to impose that on anyone else so I constantly feel rushed with others.
It's only annoying when you need a second opinion but I tend to rely on the salespeople and my blackberry's camera & messaging function.
@ronniedobbs: I get a bad a case of the "ooh shinies" when I shop, therefore, you would be like an unwanted vaccination for me, RonnieD. Do not even heart me and ask me to go to a metaphoric mall, because I will not! Buzzkill.
@winner: Anyway, I know you and Ardentgirlyflower are trying to make me jealous, but just know that I'll try to feel bad when your friendship falls apart after someone decides they need to "take just one more look" at that engraved flask everyone already agreed was too tacky for even your drunk uncle.
I lived alone for two years without roommates or pets and to be honest, it was very lonely at times. However, living alone turned out to be one of the best decisions I've made in terms of my development. It made me independent, made me appreciate when I was around friends and loved ones more, and it gave me a lot of time to soul-search and figure myself out. I recommend it.
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I think it's an important thing to learn how to do, honestly. You shouldn't miss out on something just because everyone else you know doesn't want to do it.
12/08/09
Bizarrely for an only child, I never had an imaginary friend, but I don't see what's the problem with creating a fantasy companion when you're older, considering that the type of societies we live in are the ones that create so many hurdles to human interaction.
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And the idea of anyone being lonely really upsets me. I used to visit an elderly woman who lived near my old office - I met her one day when she was outside letting her dog go to the loo, and she invited me into her house - I was so worried that she'd do this to any random psycho that I kept checking up on her. She had a son who seemed to turn up every week to leave ready-meals in her fridge and a tiny dog who she used to feed on biscuit crumbs. I don't think she talked to anyone else from one end of the week to the other. I once called in and saw that she had no bread, milk or loo roll and went over to the supermarket to get basic supplies - she said it was the nicest thing anyone had done for her ever. She broke my heart. I couldn't get to visit her after I left the job and I often wonder if she's okay. Just the thought of her sitting there with no one to talk to makes me tear up. These days I donate money to Alone (an excellent charity that provides companionship to isolated older people) every month, but I really should donate time.
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Hussy.
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I didn't mind. I just figured they were lonely and couldn't have kids. I felt glad more than anything that they found each other.
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On a side note, commenting on Jez makes me realize how crap some of my friends are.
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I totally understand what you're saying though I tend to know exactly what I'm looking for and where I will find it and it's almost always online. But on the rare occasion I DO go shopping with someone - I take 2x as long to shop and I always feel pressured to rush. I'd much rather be on my tod.
12/08/09
If we're shopping for jeans, why are you picking up that sweater? There's nothing in Nine West for us, keep walking! When did L'Occitane start selling clothes?
12/08/09
You MAKE me lie to you by PRESSURING me to rush! I asked if you wanted to "go shopping." Not "go buying" or "go looking!" Why'd you even agree to come?! Let's just go. I'll come back later. By. My. SELF!!!
12/08/09
It's only annoying when you need a second opinion but I tend to rely on the salespeople and my blackberry's camera & messaging function.
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But everyone knows Chess King is the final straw.
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"Well, he's got a gorgeous square jaw and paid for dinner, but he has the personality of a cardboard box!"
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I lived alone for two years without roommates or pets and to be honest, it was very lonely at times. However, living alone turned out to be one of the best decisions I've made in terms of my development. It made me independent, made me appreciate when I was around friends and loved ones more, and it gave me a lot of time to soul-search and figure myself out. I recommend it.