aliwise - Jezebel

posts about #aliwise more →
Michelle Obama Wears Naeem Khan, Orders French Thigh-High Boots
Common Ground: Understanding Ali Wise, Ex-Girlfriend From Hell
Jean-Paul Gaultier Right On Target; Mad Men Women's Wear On Its Way
Fran Does Skin Care; Unretouched Shots Of Gisele Emerge
Kate's Balmain Copied; Punky Brewster Does Kids' Clothes

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sableized (just like starting over)
11/25/09

In reply to Michelle Obama Wears Naeem Khan, Orders French Thigh-High Boots
God, Mrs Obama looks fierce. I love her hair!

I hope she wears those thigh-high boots to the next state dinner.
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morninggloria
11/25/09

In reply to Michelle Obama Wears Naeem Khan, Orders French Thigh-High Boots
I don't care if Reanimated Coco Chanel herself with the help of Jesus and a unicorn with opposable thumbs designed Desiree Rogers' gown. It's really... awful. It looks like she raided a child's costume chest and ruined some sheer ill-fitting bedroom curtains. Her outfit reminds me of a waterlogged Zelda Fitzgerald.
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jigglyball
11/25/09

In reply to Michelle Obama Wears Naeem Khan, Orders French Thigh-High Boots
Lindsay Ibarra: Commas are stylish, too.
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ihateyourescalade
11/25/09

In reply to Michelle Obama Wears Naeem Khan, Orders French Thigh-High Boots
I have never seen Michelle Obama look as gorgeous as she did in that dress. The cut, the color, her hair = perfection!
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Tchotchke
11/25/09

In reply to Michelle Obama Wears Naeem Khan, Orders French Thigh-High Boots
The McNeil family's comments are pretty blatant admissions that Catherine was inflicting those cuts on herself. I just hope she gets all the support, love and hope she needs to pull through. My experiences with people I love self-mutilating makes this an issue that's close to my heart.
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sableized (just like starting over)
11/25/09

@Tchotchke: Ditto. However, oddly, I'm kind of glad that she chose to go out in public with the scars on her arms. I regularly cut my shoulders and my breasts, and it's only been very recently that I'm able to face the public world with the evidence still in my skin.

The sooner we stop being ashamed of our disease, the sooner the rest of the world will accept it as such.
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Triana Orpheus
11/25/09

In reply to Michelle Obama Wears Naeem Khan, Orders French Thigh-High Boots
"Mr Ungaro has his views, he can keep them," said Moufarrige, tartly.

And your company has his name, so I suggest you take his views into consideration.
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ihateyourescalade
11/25/09

@Triana Orpheus: In this case, Ungaro sold his company. No say for him anymore.
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Pantra
10/21/09

In reply to Common Ground: Understanding Ali Wise, Ex-Girlfriend From Hell
I'm one of those people who have no interest in even Googling someone, and I hate it when someone Googles me. I've had cashiers and baristas, total strangers who saw my name on my debit card, Google me and find out my age, my address, look at my house, read obituaries I'm listed in where the deaths were tragedies I'd like kept private, and so on. It's grossly intrusive. I realize this is how we live now but I'm sick of people knowing intimate details about me that I haven't told them. None of which I "put out" there - I don't do social networking, but a lot of stuff is online regardless. And when someone has a crush on you, or is jealous of you, it's scary how much info they can come up with.

I think as with many things, prevalence starts equating acceptability after a while. Personally I feel it's undignified and also destructive to people who get really obsessive about it. If I found out someone hacked into my voice mails or otherwise spied on me, I would pursue the most severe legal means possible to punish them. Privacy is becoming a lost concept. #aliwise
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suck_it_monkeys
10/21/09

In reply to Common Ground: Understanding Ali Wise, Ex-Girlfriend From Hell
Excellent analysis, Jenna. I can definitely relate to the underlying tendency to obsess over people who meant a great deal to me in the past and are no longer in my life. Most 0f us wouldn't go nearly this far, but I can understand the impulse. Most likely once she overcame the initial ethical hesitation and hacked into the first voicemail, it was easier to justify the next one, and so on until she became compulsive. I'm sure on some level she felt shame for what she was doing all along. Kind of an amplified version of what I feel when I google that one mysterious ex for the bazillionth time, despite being in a happy relationship. #aliwise
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roslyn taber
10/21/09

In reply to Common Ground: Understanding Ali Wise, Ex-Girlfriend From Hell
one interesting thing i feel like no one's touched on is that Jenna is focusing on people who cheated on her -- i feel like in those kinds of cases, there is more impetus to know about the other woman, sort of as a way of finding an explanation for why the person you cared about hurt you. and i also think being cheated on can make it easy to fall into a feeling-bad-about-yourself cycle, and if that is how you are dealing with being cheated on, learning more about the person your bf cheated with can help provide fuel for that (especially icky) fire. #aliwise
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laureltreedaphne
10/21/09

In reply to Common Ground: Understanding Ali Wise, Ex-Girlfriend From Hell
I cannot stop checking my boyfriend's ex's Facebook page. It drives me crazy but I can't stop doing it.

I also have a friend who I broke off contact with a few months ago - she does nothing but post annoying updates on her page. I took her off my news feed so I could just move on with my life and stop being obsessive - and yet I still go and check her page when I'm on Facebook. It's crazy. Why do we do this stuff? #aliwise
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ImperfectLit.Woman
10/21/09

@laureltreedaphne: I have no idea. i keep checking my ex's page and his now ex girlfriends? for some reason and I can't stop doing it either. Ugh.

I hate myself for caring that much and then I hate myself more for picking her apart. This can't be healthy. #aliwise
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SisterRay73
10/21/09

@ImperfectLit.Woman: Ugh I totally do the same thing! I check his page MULTIPLE times a day and used to stalk his now-ex as well...and still do, now that she is his ex. With him it's become like a reflex, a habit. Comforting, even. And that is pretty fucked up, I must say.

(When my ex left me for another girl who I rapidly defriended, which meant I could no longer see her profile, the masochistic side in me was a little upset, and then I stalked the shit out of her and them via other people's photos and profiles until they broke up. It was HORRIBLE.) #aliwise
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ImperfectLit.Woman
11/14/09

@SisterRay73: I'm glad to know I'm not alone in this. 3 cheers for neurotic behavior.Lol. #aliwise
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BytheSea
10/21/09

In reply to Common Ground: Understanding Ali Wise, Ex-Girlfriend From Hell
Why would you want to stalk your ex's new thing online? What does that do for you? How is obsession and brooding adding anything positive to your life? Once or twice, maybe, but a thousand times? I've seen this in articles here on Jez a lot, as confessionary reporting, and I don't think it's something to be proud of. I don't know if it's "normal" or "average" because I don't have that many friends to poll, but from a psychological standpoint, I think that every time you give in to that impulse, you're digging yourself deeper into hatred and self-loathing. there's got to be something better you can do with your time that isn't so self-absorbed and spawning of negativity.
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Edited by BytheSea at 10/21/09 5:22 PM BytheSea was starred BytheSea was unstarred

tewkesbury
10/21/09

@BytheSea: I don't think that Jenna is arguing that it does add anything positive to her life. I think the point here is that it both interests and frightens her that she can find any common ground with someone whose behavior she clearly acknowledges is reprehensible--which is to say, not at all positive. #aliwise
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msmoneypenny
10/21/09

@tewkesbury: Your interpretation makes sense, but this sentence . "Because she's facing up to four years in prison for the kinds of acts that, while most of us would not have committed, might, if we're honest with ourselves, have at least considered." makes it seem like Jenna is speaking on behalf of most women. Perhaps she is right and maybe BytheSea and I are exceptions to the rule? Personally, I've operated on the it's your loss, buddy line of thinking/behavior, but my experience isn't everyone else's either. I guess I wonder if *most* women do feel the urge like Jenna. Someone should do a study. #aliwise
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tewkesbury
10/21/09

@msmoneypenny: it is an interesting question, and you make a good point. While I'll admit that I don't have your Give a Shit Switch (which you should totally market), I also can't say that I've ever considered electronically stalking anyone. And having been on the receiving end of jealous-woman-stalking, I also don't feel especially kindly inclined toward Ali Wise. #aliwise
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GoldenRatioφ (aka -girl11)
10/22/09

@BytheSea: Well, I read celebrity gossip, so I suppose I like gossip and sometimes I'm interested to see what goes on in an old friend or ex's life. It's definitely lame, but checking an ex's facebook page, or looking at photos of him with his new girlfriend doesn't strike me as wrong, because it's out there for the public to see. It's not like facebook is some secret diary, or a very private place, and what you want to keep private, you can. Of course, I've been extremely lucky not to have any acrimonious breakups, so I am genuinely happy and interested when exes are happy. But I'm sure I would do the same in the case of a horrible breakup too. But none of this justifies going into someone's private e-mail, or voicemail box, because that is clearly meant to stay private. #aliwise
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Bgirl_Hamster
10/21/09

In reply to Common Ground: Understanding Ali Wise, Ex-Girlfriend From Hell
Anyone remember that Keeping Up with the Kardashians episode where Kim hacked into Khloe's man's voicemail? I hope for them that the whole thing was fake, because I don't think Kim (or Ali Wise) would make it very long in the big house. #aliwise
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pesematology
10/21/09

In reply to Common Ground: Understanding Ali Wise, Ex-Girlfriend From Hell
I'm surprised she has time for anything else. Just the amount of time she's spent listening to the phrase "New message from xxx-xxxx at x:xx PM, Press 1 to go to main menu" must add up to at least several episodes of Mad Men. #aliwise
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Leslie
10/21/09

In reply to Common Ground: Understanding Ali Wise, Ex-Girlfriend From Hell
I can't relate to this behavior at all. This is psycho behavior. Are "most people" actually sitting around "considering" these kinds of acts? If so, that is freaking scary. #aliwise
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dangerslut
10/21/09

In reply to Common Ground: Understanding Ali Wise, Ex-Girlfriend From Hell
I can't empathize because to do so would mean that I'm validating stalker-like behavior, and I just can't do that. Facebook-stalking, google-stalking, all of that is just a slippery slope for one really off-balance person to do something dangerous. #aliwise
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egg cream
10/21/09

@dangerslut: Eh. I wouldn't place Facebook- and Google-stalking in the same category as this. I tend to do a lot of web-stalking for no real reason other than if information is out there, I like to have it -- and I always draw the line at information that isn't freely available. If you have to hack into it, or pay for it, it isn't your information to have. #aliwise
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