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Sex Sounds: How Loud Is Too Loud?

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whynotshesaid
11/10/09

In reply to Sex Sounds: How Loud Is Too Loud?
It's one thing to get a bit noisy. It's another thing to scream bloody murder while you are doing it. One can be controlled, the other cannot.

Unless he is stabbing you with something other than his penis, of course. #loudsex
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Sarah Dove
11/11/09

@whynotshesaid: There's also an element of 'crying wolf' here. I don't mean that she is faking it, but that if the neighbours get used to hearing a woman screaming, they are less likely to react appropriately if they hear a woman screaming because she's in trouble. Wouldn't it be awful if they all just thought 'oh, it's that noisy mare next door' and someone was being assaulted? #loudsex
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whynotshesaid
11/11/09

@Sarah Dove: Oh, that's a good point. Hadn't thought about that.

At any rate, I question the need to be THAT loud during sex. A certain amount of noise is normal, but you have to put in effort beyond that. #loudsex
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JerkoftheMonth
11/10/09

In reply to Sex Sounds: How Loud Is Too Loud?
This pisses me off a lot. I had neighbours for the past 2 years that had loud sex all the time and it was infuriating to wake up at 3 in the morning to other people's sex noises. I think it's really disrespectful. I do not want to know when other people are doing it. Another time my little sister was visiting (a good few years ago) and my upstairs neighbours had loud sex and I was praying that my 12 yr old sister didn't wake up to that sound. Grrr. Makes me so mad! #loudsex
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PhillyLass
11/09/09

In reply to Sex Sounds: How Loud Is Too Loud?
I don't mind that I can hear my neighbors' muffled sex sounds. I live in an old house that has been converted into apartments and I expect a certain level of noise in such close and poorly insulated quarters. But if I heard the sex sounds of, say, people in adjacent buildings or-- even more improbably-- people across the street, it would piss me off. Involuntary sex moans at a decent volume are normal. Super loud sex moans that the whole neighborhood can hear are exhibitionist. #loudsex
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Ipomoea
11/09/09

In reply to Sex Sounds: How Loud Is Too Loud?
After living above a meth- and alcohol-fueled sex screamer, I say throw the book at them. 90 minutes of "OH OH OH FUCK YEAH FUCK YEAH" etc at 3a.m. on a Wednesday, despite neighbors on three sides pounding on your shared walls? Rot in hell, some of us have to get up at 6a.m. I've heard some natural sex moans, and then there's the "the louder it is, the better it must sound to our houseguests" sex moans. Here's a tip: I don't judge you as a person for how good your sex sounds. I do judge you for waking me out of my REM sleep as you shriek like a monkey. #loudsex
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yvanehtnioj
11/09/09

@Ipomoea: This is my favorite rant I've read today! I enjoy your remembered ire. #loudsex
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scandalouskiki
11/09/09

In reply to Sex Sounds: How Loud Is Too Loud?
I've had the noisy-sex neighbor before, and while I'm all for people having good sex and enjoying it, I still find it extremely rude for them to have LOUD sex at 4:00 am. I'm talking screams, encouragement, headboard slamming the wall, the works. Naturally this would wake me up each time it happened. It was loud enough that the neighbor that lived below me could also hear it. Everyone has a right to their sex life, but people need to be respectful of general quiet hours and at least try to keep it down. It's the considerate thing to do. #loudsex
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RiloKilo
11/09/09

@scandalouskiki: Exactly. It's just common sense and consideration - which is apparently one of the most difficult things for some people to comprehend. #loudsex
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callmecountry
11/10/09

@scandalouskiki: Quite. I regularly get woken up in the early hours by my downstairs neighbour's sex operetta. The worst thing is that her turns of phrase are so cliched (v. When Harry Met Sally), that I wonder whether she's actually enjoying it at all. Then I get over that, remember she's an idiot anyway, and shout through the floorboards for her to shut the eff up. #loudsex
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tiredfairy
11/09/09

In reply to Sex Sounds: How Loud Is Too Loud?
I live in a condo complex in CA. We like to keep the back patio doors open at night, you get a lovely breeze from the ocean. You can hear our neighbors if they're in their adjacent patios, or the garages below, but most of the time, you really can't hear anyone at all unless they're outside and being loud.

Well, one memorable Saturday night, someone forgot to shut their bedroom window next door. And we were treated to two sessions of what sounded like incredibly fun sex. That girl was into it, and she was having a lot of fun. The first session, roughly at midnight, involved a lot of orgasms, and something that buzzed. The next session, at roughly 1am, was a bit slower and had some really long and gratifying sounding orgasms.

We sat out our on patio (as did our teenage neighbors, I could hear them giggling behind the wall). I had a glass of wine, and spied one of our other neighbors across the way sitting at her upstairs windowsill doing the same.

Apparently the whole neighborhood was enjoying the entertainment. I may or may not have twittered the entire show.

I really don't mind hearing sex, so long as it's at a reasonable hour, and it's not deafening. #loudsex
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Ginmar Rienne
11/09/09

@tiredfairy: Ew. I just don't want to get that intimate with people I don't know. Or am not having sex with myself. It's a private thing. Open windows are one thing; beyond that, if it's like this couple, I have to wonder if they're just plain exhibitionists, and if so, I don't want to be part of their little scene. #loudsex
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tiredfairy
11/09/09

@Ginmar Rienne: Well, in this instance, it was clearly an accident. I don't think they intended that the whole complex here the evening events.

I think I'd probably get annoyed if I had to hear it a lot. At a certain point, you've got to know you're being inconsiderate. But I don't want to judge other people's consensual sex lives, or say you can't be noisy sometimes. Sex doesn't always allow you the ability to be quiet. Still, I believe in courtesy. #loudsex
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Dictator for Life
11/09/09

In reply to Sex Sounds: How Loud Is Too Loud?
I don't have a problem with my neighbors hearing me and my sweetie do it; I have a problem with the dog. As soon as my fiancé puts it in, the dog seems to know. He starts keening. It wasn't too bad when we lived in the country, but now we live in a New York City apartment. We have to make sure that not only are we silent, but all the doors in the apartment must be closed, and we have to be super-careful that the bed doesn't jiggle. I would love to figure out how to stop the dog from going nutso when we do it. #loudsex
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rocknrollunicorn
11/09/09

@Dictator for Life: Oh man, that sucks. My parents' dog is in love with my dad and used to lay outside their bedroom crying when they did it. Yeah, I know too much about my parents' sex life. #loudsex
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pesematology
11/09/09

In reply to Sex Sounds: How Loud Is Too Loud?
If 47 decibels is criminal, what do you think those of us in noise bands feel like? #loudsex
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boxspelunker
11/09/09

In reply to Sex Sounds: How Loud Is Too Loud?
If the noises are at a reasonable level (conversational or below), then if they are going at it during the day, I think that it's fine. Dealing with noise is part of apartment living, and sometimes it sucks.

If they are too loud (above a conversational level) or are noisy at night, when most people sleep (I sleep during the day, because I work overnights, but I know that's strange), then they need to figure out a new system.

My apartment has thin walls. I can hear my neighbor snoring. So, quiet hours (self-enforced) are between 10 pm and 8 am. I know that if I am too noisy, I will wake him up, and that's rude. Being considerate is also part of apartment living. #loudsex
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scandalouskiki
11/09/09

@boxspelunker: I agree - it's important to be considerate of your neighbors. I wish my current upstairs neighbor, who may or may not be She-Hulk, agreed with us. #loudsex
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Sputnik_Sweetheart
11/09/09

In reply to Sex Sounds: How Loud Is Too Loud?
If I was their neighbor, I would probably feel quite differently, but as a person who is way too worried about being too loud, I have to admire her inhibition. More power to Caroline, says I. #loudsex
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logruszed
11/09/09

In reply to Sex Sounds: How Loud Is Too Loud?
This reminds me of the Henry Rollins story about his relationship with his gay neighbors; they were very loud and vocal and Henry got to thinking "What kind of music can I play to show my appreciation?"

I believe it was thrash or speed metal. #loudsex
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morninggloria
11/09/09

In reply to Sex Sounds: How Loud Is Too Loud?
You have a right to your loud sex just as I have my right to sing the Wicked soundtrack at the top of my lungs. #loudsex
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Elaken
11/09/09

In reply to Sex Sounds: How Loud Is Too Loud?
So I am guessing she never masturbated as a teen in her parent's house? I don't know about others but that situation was enough to teach me to be quiet when necessary. #loudsex
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Snowbunny
11/09/09

In reply to Sex Sounds: How Loud Is Too Loud?
My upstairs neighbor has a really squeaky bed and he tends to have sex at like 4 am maybe every other week, meaning his screaming bed wakes me up in the middle of the night. It's probably the most obnoxious thing ever. I wouldn't get so mad if he was having sex at like midnight or before when most normal people do that, but making that much noise so late is just inconsiderate. I support sex, but I also support sleep and consideration. This woman needs to respect the fact that she's bugging the hell out of her neighbors and either invest in a ball gag, move, or continue to pay fines. #loudsex
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sweet tea vodka
11/09/09

@Snowbunny: maybe she thinks getting it on that late is a good idea because she assumes everyone is already asleep by then? just a thought. #loudsex
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Snowbunny
11/10/09

@sweet tea vodka: No, he has sex that late because he is having sex with the random girls he picks up from the bar. That's the time they get home, that's the time they fuck, that's the time fucking Scott wakes me up. #loudsex
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sweet tea vodka
11/10/09

@Snowbunny: well that explains it then. boo. hope you get some sleep tonight. #loudsex
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ihateyourescalade
11/09/09

In reply to Sex Sounds: How Loud Is Too Loud?
When anyone besides the two of you can hear it, it's too loud.

If you like to use bullhorns during sexytime, but you live 20 miles from the nearest neighbor, that's not too loud. If you moan softly but live in an apartment with paper walls through which your neighbors can hear it, it's too loud.

It's a matter of respect for one's fellow human beings. We shouldn't get to do everything we want, whenever we want it, everyone else be damned.
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Edited by ihateyourescalade at 11/09/09 6:37 PM ihateyourescalade was starred

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