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The Real Reason Women's Magazines Suck
New York, 9:26 PM
Thu Dec 10
72 posts in the last 24 hours
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The Real Reason Women's Magazines Suck |
Original material is licensed under a Creative Commons License permitting non-commercial sharing with attribution.
07/29/09
And, time after time what the client wants is for me to write a variation of "find a girl who is pretty, but deeply insecure, and be an asshole to her and you'll get laid."
Sometimes they want this is 500 word small article format, sometimes in 2,000 word long article format and a couple times in 100 page long e-book format.
It's all vaguely depressing, since when we are not broke my partner and I write dating/sex advice for non Pick Up Artist clients and we feel much better about ourselves when I'm writing ebooks on how to go down on a girl or she's writing ebooks about how women can introduce kink into their relationships without freaking their dudes out.
We wish more people would but those books and fewer people would buy the pickup artist/cosmo stuff because then we could just concentrate on that.
07/28/09
It was so weird to me. The magazines seemed to portray women as sex-crazed, but hated sex with men; they despised men, but were desperate for their attention; and importantly for me, quirky men with, shall we say, an over-abundance of personality, were personae non gratae.
It was an utterly bizarre case of cognitive dissonance. Most of my friends were females. I was a psych student so I knew the scientific score. Women AS PEOPLE seemed fantastic. Yet, these magazines maintained a strong underlying assumption that, as soon as sex became involved, friendship was impossible, wars began, the skies fell, and all of these strange, latent behaviors would become active. From reading these magazines, I truly wondered why the hell women would want to have ANYTHING at all to do with men. They seemed to hate them in that context.
Even the traditional lad-mags, like Maxim, with its own skewed view of sexuality, are at least straightforward. Men want hot, young women to fuck. Oh, and cars, watches, and alcohol (we're so deep). This allows girls to know exactly what part of themselves to feel bad about. But the Lady-mags left me puzzled. I had NO clue what women wanted. If the magazines are to be believed, WOMEN don't know. It fucked with my head. I was attracted to women, but I thought to myself, why would I ever want to ruin their day by telling them?
I am still dealing with some of my emotional hangups. I recognize them for what they are and try to muscle through the emotions cognitively, but it's surprisingly difficult even though I understand their nature. I still feel that any attraction I feel for a woman is necessarily one-sided. It is actually impossible that they are attracted to me, since no women are attracted to ANY men. This leads to more than a few problems even today in my (now nearly three-year-old) relationship. My girlfriend wants to send mail-bombs to Redbook, Glamour, and Cosmo. She's patient, but I do get stupid sometimes when my emotions on the subject run a bit rampant.
I now have nothing but hatred for these magazines. I started reading them when I was very young and I feel confident that I can classify what they did to me as damage. I've been reading this website for only a few weeks, and I'm glad there are people out there who have actually built careers out of lampooning them. Thank you.
07/28/09
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07/28/09
Also, that bit about Sheila Bair is so horribly insulting. It's like these editors think women are too simple to appreciate a story if it doesn't come with pretty shoes and a nice lady. Ugh. And they wonder why print is dying.
07/28/09
07/29/09
It does, however, serve a function for me. I read it when I'm waiting to get my hair cut (because the hairdresser has tons of copies of it) and it has taught me tons of French slang I would have never otherwise picked up on.
07/28/09
07/28/09
07/28/09
This month in Cosmo? Why Do Women Go Topless in Public. 10 Things You Don't Know About Men. 4 Easy Summer Hairstyles. Gag.
Why do women's magazines continue to treat us as if we're stupid?
07/28/09
07/28/09
I'm not saying that these lady mags should be applauded. I'm just saying "Duh!"
07/28/09
I think it's great that the Jez editors point it all out over and over again because SOMEONE needs to call them out on it. And I don't see women's magazines changing anytime soon so let's blow the whistle loud and clear!
07/28/09
Jezebel gave us some info as to WHY they suck, though. I don't know about anyone else, but I didn't know the articles were pre-written. I knew they sucked, but I didn't know why.
07/29/09
07/28/09
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07/28/09
Sex tips: Put your (noun) on his (noun) while you're (verb)ing his (noun). It'll make him (verb)!
Fashion advice: Buy a (noun) at (sponsor store) and wear it with a (noun). It's the (adjective)est new trend! (Celebrity) and (celebrity) have been spotted wearing it!
Human interest story: (Generic woman's name) struggled with (problem) for (period of time), until she (insert life-changing experience here)! Her inspiring story will (verb) your life.
07/28/09
Put your toast on his bacon while you're swinging his paper bag. It'll make him boomerang!
Buy a fig tree at Home Depot and wear it with a doorknob. It's the prickliest new trend! Michael Phelps and Kate Gosselin have been spotted wearing it!
Julia struggled with calculus for 500 million years, until she kissed a girl and liked it! Her inspiring story will mince your life.
07/28/09
07/28/09
Lady Mag Libs as filled out by my roomies who don't know what they're filling out!!
Sex tips: Put your spatula on his cat while you're swimming his vacuum hose. It'll make him fluff!
Fashion advice: Buy an iron at lululemon and wear it with a washing machine. It's the blueest new trend! Katy Perry and Brad Pitt have been spotted wearing it!
Human interest story: Barbra-Jean struggled with punctured car tires for 5 years, until she went to a bar mitzvah! Her inspiring story will flick your life.
07/28/09
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07/29/09
@ All: I'll have details soon!
07/28/09
What a great quote. I'm always a little dismayed when I see women (and sometimes men) read these trashy magazines in public. They can be fun to glance through sometimes, but as the article noted, these magazines basically recycle the same stories and often promote sexist stereotypes, like bad TV sitcoms!
07/28/09
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07/28/09
"I'm looking to interview an Arizona resident who bought a gun due to concerns related to the financial crisis. "
"I'm doing a really fun feature for iVillage.com on women against their swimsuits. I'm looking for cute/funny/humiliating anecdotes about the battles women have had with their swimsuits. This is a feel-good piece "
"if I could speak with a married Roman Catholic priest, that would be absolutely wonderful. I'm just not sure how to get in contact with any. "
"I'm seeking ob/gyn, preferably a department chair, to comment on the increased risk of swine flu in pregnant women. The source must be available for interviews between 4-8 p.m. EDT. This article is for iVillage.com."
"I am writing an article about whether women actually are better to work for than men, and I would like to interview experts who could tell me the pros and cons of having a male vs. a female manager. "
"I need to speak with anyone who has ever tried to live vicariously through his/her teenagers. "
07/28/09
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07/28/09
I'm glad to know they're taking married priests. Women should be next!
07/28/09
Old Truman used to write for magazines occasionally, but little did he ever dream how much worse the typing was going to get.
07/29/09