• "I was quoted saying I was a virgin, but I absolutely did not say that. That's nobody's business but my own," the Duffster tells Maxim in the most recent issue. Let's go to the wayback machine and see what she said to Elle: "It's harder having a boyfriend who's older because people just assume. But [virginity] is definitely something I like about myself. It doesn't mean I haven't thought about sex, because everyone I know has had it and you want to fit in. But when they talk about it, it doesn't sound special, like you would imagine it to be. It just seems like everybody has slept with each other – you know what I mean?" Oh yes, we know exactly what you mean, Hils: you wanted to appeal to tweens back then, and now you're trying to have a broader audience. It's loud and clear! [NYDN]
• Madonna is contradicting longtime publicist Liz Rosenberg, who on Monday announced that Guy Ritchie will get between $76-92 million as part of the couple's divorce settlement. Madonna and Guy released a joint statement saying that Rosenberg's declaration was "misleading and inaccurate." What's more, "We have tried to maintain a dignified silence regarding the details of our divorce for the last few months whilst accepting the obvious media interest…The financial details of the settlement will remain private, save to say that both of us are happy with our agreement. Our primary concern, like any co-parents, is the care and well being of our children." Whilst! The plot thickens!! [Reuters]
• Not all of the gay community is excited about Sean Penn's portrayal of activist Harvey Milk in Milk. Advocate writer James Kirchick is pissed because Penn was palling around with notorious gay-rights abuser Venezuelan dictator Hugo Chávez as well as Raul Castro. Human Rights Foundation President Thor Halvorssen tells The Advocate, "That Sean Penn would be honored by anyone, let alone the gay community, for having stood by a dictator who put gays into concentration camps is mind-boggling."[Page Six]
• Earlier this year, Clay Aiken's bff, music producer Jaymes Foster, had a baby after being artificially inseminated with Clay's lil' dudes. Word is that they were both so thrilled with the results that Foster is going to go through another round of IVF in the hopes of having another Claybie. [Perez]
• Blind Item! "Which still-sexy actress, who has a daughter now getting ingenue roles, is facing reality? She finally had her first face-lift last week." We are guessing her name rhymes with Moosan Morandan. [Page Six]
• Does Anthony Kiedis have kidney trouble? The former heroin addict allegedly was sick enough to discuss going on a transplant list for a new kidney, but has since been on the mend.[Sun]
• Fergie (the Duchess, not the Pea) had her laptop stolen, along with intimate digital photos of her family. In addition! Poor Princess Beatrice's Norfolk Terrier, Max ran off during a walk last week in Windsor Great Park , and she's apparently "desperately upset." London Jezebels get on the case! [Daily Mail]
• "We discussed—for about a second—the idea of Tom’s having a German accent. I remember that conversation very clearly. I was in the sitting room of his house, and I basically just said, 'I don’t want to do that. You don’t want to be listening to that.'" —Valkyrie director Bryan Singer on Tom Cruise's performance. [GQ]
• Wowza: the iconic Bert Stern photos of Marilyn Monroe, taken in 1962 right before her death, sold at Christie's for $146,500. [AP]
• Singer Duffy will be the new face of Diet Coke. Says the Sun, "They want to move away from typical Diet Coke ads with stick-thin models and chiselled hunks." Does that sound sort of like a backhanded compliment? [Sun]
• Gossip Girl star Kelly Rutherford is still nursing her 2-year-old son Hermés. "It's an amazing bond with your child," she says, before adding, "I was thinner after my pregnancy than before, and I think a lot of it was the nursing." [Page Six]
• Will Actor's Guild negotiations tear Hollywood apart? Page Six is reporting that negotiations were tense on Monday night, with Jack Nicholson, Meryl Streep and Warren Beatty in favor of a strike, and Alec Baldwin, Tom Hanks, George Clooney, Charlize Theron, Helen Mirren and Kevin Spacey against it. [Page Six]
• Harrison Ford has signed on to play a morning show personality in the film Morning Glory, and our beloved Rachel McAdams is in talks to costar. According to the Hollywood Reporter, "Aline Brosh McKenna ("The Devil Wears Prada") wrote the script about a grizzled old-school anchor in the Ted Koppel mold (Ford) who quits in disgust with the gossip-heavy direction of the evening newscast. He is then recruited by a hot up-and-coming producer (McAdams) to help revive a morning talk show, only to be paired with his rival." [HR]
• "She was drunk! I don’t know if she was drunk when they actually got married, but the night before she was. She just needed that little push — the Patron push.”— Lo Bosworth on the Speidi nuptials. [People ]
• Oprah's taking her production company from ABC to HBO in order to start making more feature films, documentaries and TV series. [AP]
• Is Lisa Rinna going to pose for Playboy? Sources say: probs.The daytime diva has also been pitching a reality show to cable networks with husband Harry Hamlin tentatively called I Love Lisa. [Extra, MSNBC]
• Macaulay, Keiran and Rory Culkin have all taken time off their acting projects to mourn the sudden death of their sister, Dakota. As noted last week, Dakota was hit by a car in Los Angeles while crossing the street. "They're heartbroken. That I can tell you. They're just absolutely heartbroken," says the Culkin boys' manager. [UPI]
• Diddy hosted a birthday party for his ex and baby mama Kim Porter at Murano restaurant in West Hollywood. "The evening's specialty drink, the K.P. Martini, featured a Ciroc vodka lemon drop with a brown-sugar rim," E! reports. Oooh fancy. [E! Online]
• The Brangelina clan is parking in France for the time being. "I've been dragging them all from continent to continent lately, so we're going to have to give them a break soon. For the long term, right now, we're choosing France. It's good living there, a really nice way of life. It's a place where the kids can run free and not be hassled – we have a good relationship with the locals, and it's a good base for the family," Brad says. [Perez]
• Click here for an online preview of Flight of the Conchords season two premiere! Squee! [Funny or Die]
• If you have a crush on any member of Coldplay check out these behind the scenes shots of Chris Martin and the crew. [Rolling Stone]

It's not that [27 Dresses] is cynical; it's that all the chick-flick trappings — the fashion, the wedding chitchat, the masochistic one-way crush — drive the story rather than the other way around. 27 Dresses is a movie geared to a pitch of high matrimonial-princess fever. It's white-lace porn for girls of every age, and the way that it revels in that get-me-to-the-altar mood, to the point of making anyone who isn't getting married feel like a loser, is the picture's key selling point...Even the satire of the wedding industry plays like a backhanded endorsement of it.

Anyone who has seen a chick flick knows what is going to happen next, and next, and next... But there just isn't enough story here to justify a 107-minute running time, no matter how many montages debuting director Anne Fletcher whips up. Heigl, who demonstrates her gift for physical comedy, has complained in interviews about the sexist tone of "Knocked Up." But what happens when she teams up with a woman director and screenwriter? You get "27 Dresses," which delivers that great feminist message: A woman's life is meaningless without marriage.

[D]irector Anne Fletcher... makes the reasonably insightful, moderately funny point that modern American weddings, however they may strain for individuality and specialness, are all pretty much alike. The problem is that much the same could be said about modern American romantic comedies...The best thing about "27 Dresses," which was written by Aline Brosh McKenna...is that the Guys are not really the point. Or rather, if getting the Right one is the point of the story, the spark of comedy is carried by the women in the picture. Too bad it's such a dim spark.

There is a movie to be made from that shared humiliation — actually, there are many, and they already litter the shelves of Blockbuster. So at this point, the question is whether "27 Dresses" has anything new to add. And the answer is a resounding no...

Heigl is terrific, this uninspired romantic comedy is considerably less so. A tired pastiche of the 27-odd wedding-themed vehicles that preceded it, the film essentially slaps together all the stuff that worked so well the first or second time around, minus any of the original charm or verve. That it manages to function at all is mainly Heigl's doing...

"27 Dresses" is a romantic comedy in which nothing the least bit surprising occurs, no disagreement or estrangement seems sufficiently serious to persist, and no one behaves in a manner that cannot be predicted by anyone who has seen more than two or three other romantic comedies.

"27 Dresses"... sags like a day-old bouquet... when Jane's supermodel little sister Tess (Malin Akerman) shows up, throwing an extroverted, platinum-blond spanner into the already shaky works. It's at this point that "27 Dresses" becomes a movie not about people or relationships, but about cute apartments and cuter outfits...There is not one surprising, charming or endearingly quirky thing about "27 Dresses," which hews to the rom-com formula with bland, regimented precision. This is a movie that actually invokes the term "Bridezilla" as if it's a brand-new idea instead of a ready-for-retirement cliche.

Katherine Heigl is amiable, pleasant to look at, and has comic ability, and so on that basis "27 Dresses" is almost satisfying. In a romantic comedy, half the ballgame is the charm of the lead actress, and it's no strain to spend 107 minutes in Heigl's company. But then there's the other half of the ballgame - things like story and having characters that make sense and a resolution that's satisfying and a script that avoids cheap sentimentality. On those points, "27 Dresses" collapses. Actually, it collapses in slow motion. It gets worse and worse as it goes along and finally ends just as it's becoming unbearable.

If only it didn't have that unconvincing, sub-par sub-plot, which trots out blah characters and weak twists that include, I'm not kidding, vacuum-cleaning. I understand why the script gives Jane an obnoxious twiggy sister (Malin Akerman) and a dreamboat boss (Edward Burns), and I understand why it throws them together. But Burns looks bored. To death. I'm really worried about him.

"27 Dresses" is so chock full of romantic-comedy cliches, it almost plays like a parody. (It might be fun, though, if they handed out lists at the multiplex door to allow you to check them off as you go along — could be an interactive thing. You know, to help pass the time.)

It's an uninspired romantic comedy that adheres slavishly to the conventions of the genre. But the movie is made pleasant by the likability of its star, Katherine Heigl, and her chemistry with the affable James Marsden. Certainly Heigl fares better in less formulaic fare, such as Judd Apatow's irreverent Knocked Up, but she does raise the level of this chick flick from bland to mildly entertaining.

Earlier: Now That Her Paycheck Has Cleared, Katherine Heigl Calls Knocked Up Sexist