"There is a place like no other," says the voiceover, which is obviously Johnny Depp, even if you hadn't seen a hundred posters or didn't know that he's in every single Tim Burton film in a futile effort to not be considered incredibly handsome. By the way, I beg to differ: the underbrush of my parents' backyard looks a lot like this. Minus Puggsley Addams.


"Some say to survive it...you need to be as mad as a hatter!" No, actually, no one says that. Certainly not Lewis Carroll. That said, the Cheshire Cat face looks awesome.


"...which luckily, I am!" Heeeere's Johnny! With full-on smokey eye.


Alice, by the way, looks super disheveled and underdressed. No pinafores here!


This is just really cute.


This surly, Scottish March Hare gives me hope that the film preserves some of the story's just inherent, British weirdness.


Helena Bonham Carter's Red Queen is the apex of the continued quest to make a stunning woman grotesque that seems to be the goal of her ongoing collaboration with Burton. (That and their kids, that is.)


At this point, it appears to become an action movie. We hear the Mad Hatter say intensely, "help us make the world right again!" Seriously? I really think he just wanted to entertain some little girls on whom he may or may not have had a really unnatural fixation.


The battle scenes look intense.


And Anne Hathaway looks like Draco Malfoy's father and talks like Galadriel.


Also? I don't remember the Mad Hatter going all action hero on us. But what do I know?





New Alice In Wonderland Trailer Revels In Red Queen's Villainy [Wired]

[Courchevel, France; December 12. Image via Getty]

Photo taken on December 12, 2009 shows a sculpture by Spanish artist Salvador Dali 'Alice In Wonderland' during an exhibition at the Courchevel ski resort in the French Savoie region, held until April 25, 2010. AFP PHOTO / JEAN-PIERRE CLATOT (Photo credit should read JEAN-PIERRE CLATOT/AFP/Getty Images)

• Victoria Beckham opens up to Women's Wear Daily about everything from the childhood bullying she endured to why she couldn't bring herself to tell Marc Jacobs she was starting a fashion line. Clearly, someone wants to be Taken Seriously:

• And Beckham sure is a busy woman these days. Not only is she judging American Idol next month, bu she recently redesigned her denim and sunglass lines, after taking them in-house (the innovations she came up with include square rivets). And she chaperones school field trips in her (limited, we imagine) spare time. When she moved into fashion, people were derisive — surely she was just another celebrity cashing in on the brand of her self. But perhaps we got it wrong? "There have been people that have wanted to knock me that haven't been able to because they haven't been able to argue with the quality or the sell-throughs," says the star, who moves about $7.5 million worth of products a year. "I've always been driven. I was mentally and physically bullied when I was at school and that gave me a very thick skin.…The only reason for me bringing that up is I have always been a fighter." [WWD]
• Yet somehow we're still happier for this Bronx priest, Father Andrew O'Connor, whose sustainable cotton clothing line was worn by Cameron Diaz in Vogue and is now selling extremely well. A chance encounter set the wheels in motion: "I was helping a young woman and her fiancé prepare for their marriage," explains Father O'Connor, "and she said I'm an editor at Vogue; I'd really like to see your clothing line." In the resultant issue, Anna Wintour herself wrote in her Editor's letter, "the neat pair of checked shorts from the charitably minded fashion company Goods of Conscience [is] my personal favorite." The profits from the line fund domestic violence initiatives in the Bronx, and support the native Guatemalan communities where the fabric is woven. [NYDN]
• Matt Tyrnauer tells the long, horrifying, funny, and strange story of making and distributing a documentary film about a subject who could be — a little difficult. And Tyrnauer financed the film by taking out credit cards with 0% introductory APRs. Whenever Giancarlo Giammetti inquired about the production's cashflow, Tyrnauer would reply, "It's fully financed by a bank called Capital One." Valentino: The Last Emperor is now shortlisted for a Best Documentary Oscar. [TDB]
• Two men were found guilty of stealing more than £4 million worth of Cartier jewelry from an airport warehouse in 2001. They had apparently gotten away with it, but were found out when their third accomplice, a contestant on a reality TV series about cooking made by Jamie Oliver, contacted police to confess the crime last year. [BBC]
• Tune in tomorrow to watch Tom Ford on the Martha Stewart Show. Then on Thursday, Roberto Cavalli takes his mark at Martha's kitchen island. [Glamchic]
• Louis Vuitton's spring campaign does in fact feature Lara Stone, the company has confirmed. The Dutch model was shot in a pastoral studio set with white doves and handbags nestled into moss by Steven Meisel. [WWD]
• The February release of Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland will be heralded in Paris by a display of one-off Alice-inspired dresses by designers Ann Demeulemeester, Christopher Kane, Alexander McQueen, and Martin Margiela (or at least whoever it is who designs under Martin Margiela's name these days) at the Printemps department store. [Elle UK]
• Daphne Guinness has officially moved from being Steven Klein's unpaid muse to his paid one. The heiress is featured in the spring Akris campaign. [WWD]
• Coach has filed more than 100 lawsuits against retailers it suspects of selling counterfeit Coach goods in 2009, including several lawsuits in Texas. Even though selling counterfeited goods is a criminal offense, the lawsuits are civil, because the fashion company wants the court to file injunctions against the offending retailers. One manager of a Fort Worth store named in the suit says, "I didn't know it was wrong." [DN]
• Barneys is looking to open its first Brooklyn Barneys Co-Op, most likely in Cobble Hill. [Crains]
• And in other retail news, the Chelsea Filene's Basement on the corner of Sixth Avenue and West 18th Street will close this March, after the company was unable to renegotiate the terms of its lease. Seventy-five employees will be affected; the company could not say whether or not the workers would be transferred to Filene's other New York stores. It is looking for a new location nearby. [Crains]

[New York, July 21. Image via INFDaily.]