This is one of those news-show booking crams where they randomly had Alexis and her cohost Jennifer Koppelman Hutt on with some economist who was talking about how some couples stay together because it's cheaper than divorcing. This had exactly nothing to do with the fact that this one time some "female" called into Whatever to talk about her sexless marriage - however, it was obviously necessary to put them on a split-screen with the economist for a chaotic 30 seconds, with a banner headline reading: "Show hosted by Martha Stewart's daughter mocks Stewart's show."

• Catholics in Poland are urging the government there to cancel Madonna's August 15 concert, saying…

The pop star "cannot sing on the religious feast of the Blessed Virgin Mary." But everybody knows she cannot sing on the other 364 days of the year either. [UPI]

• Danny DeVito: drunk in the morning again. He was being interviewed live at 8 AM on Tuesday for a local news show while on the set of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Drunk while filming a comedy show? He's ruining feminism. [Perez Hilton]
• Michael Jackson may have messed up the Jackson family reunion concert that was in the works by allegedly breaching the contract his manager signed with an entertainment company who is suing Jackson for $40 million. So far, the rest of the family are keeping their noses out of the mess. [TMZ, USA Today]
• But Jacko can still moonwalk…or so he says…through a hospital mask. [TMZ]
• Ed McMahon has seemingly lost his battle to save his home from foreclosure. His house will be auctioned off by the bank in late June. [Radar]
• Kendra Wilkinson is pregnant and her former-Girls Next Door co-star Bridget Marquardt is throwing the baby shower. Judging from the housewarming present she gave Kendra, we can't wait to see what the layette set will have printed on it. [Us]
• Chris Brown's lawyer went to the California appeals court today to ask that his trial—for the alleged assault of Rihanna—be delayed. The judge denied the request, and the trial is still set for June 22. [TMZ]
• Life-size cardboard cutouts of Brad Pitt dressed as police officer have been placed by the most dangerous intersections in the city of Omsk, as a way to handle Siberia's speeding problem. According to Omsk officials, it's working. [Mirror]
• Myleene Klass, one of the hosts of I'm a Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here! had to be rescued by Costa Rican hotel staff after she accidentally glued herself to the bed. [ONTD]
• Phil Spector's infamous large court hair was a wig!? He's bald in this mugshot, taken last week. [TSG]
• Shia LaBeouf gets his sense of humor where most people get their nightmares: From seeing his parents have sex. [Just Jared]
• Even more nightmare material: When Shia was 2 his dad would dress him up as a clown and make him walk around the neighborhood. How is this guy not a serial killer? [Parade]
• Shanna Moakler wants her job back as pageant director for Miss California USA now that proponent of opposite marriage Carrie Prejean got the boot. [TMZ]
• Hank Azaria and his girlfriend had a baby boy over the weekend. [People]
• "Obsessed" will be the first single released (on June 16) from Mariah Carey's new album—awesomely titled—Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel. [Rolling Stone]
• Mel Gibson and his soon-to-be-ex-wife Robyn have filed a joint request in court to keep the financial details of their divorce private. [TMZ]
• Michael Lohan is off the hook for that misdemeanor charge of aggravated harassment. [Yahoo]
• Sonja Norwood (aka the mother of Brandy and Ray J) filed a lawsuit against Kim Kardashian for allegedly using the Norwood family's credit card without permission when Kim was hired as Brandy's stylist. The lawsuit was dismissed. [People]
• Beyoncé in post-apocalyptic armor singing "If I Were a Boy" duet-style with George Michael goes from Beyond Thunderdome to beyond gay. It's hard to wrap one's head around this gender fuck, no matter how much weave is available. [WoW]
• Breaking: Nancy Pelosi and Owen Wilson had dinner at the D.C. restaurant Cafe Milano…at different tables. They didn't talk to each other or anything. [Politico]
• Bai Ling will play a hooker in Love Ranch—a film about the first legal brothel in Nevada, starring Helen Mirren—despite the fact the that she had her back to the camera during her screen test because she was in a "bad mood." [Daily Express]
• Keira Knightley and Colin Farrell have signed on to star in London Boulevard, the directorial debut of Oscar-winning screenwriter William Monahan. [THR]
• A Broadway revival of Babes in Arms is in the works, with Rosie O'Donnell as the star. [UPI]
• Sherri Shepherd is all pissed off that she can't eat the skin on a chicken leg, per her nutritionist's orders. She's trying to get a "bathing suit body" to reveal on The View by August 6. She's lost four pounds so far. [People]
• Hugh Grant tried to kick a paparazzo in the balls. The photog sold the footage, of course. [TMZ]
• Matthew McConaughey swears his bachelor days are over now that he has a child with his girlfriend. He referred to his family as a "tribe," so we're thinking that his naked-bongo days are still going strong. [Daily Express]
• Monica Seles is dating a cranky old billionaire—30 years her senior—who doesn't like paying taxes. [Wonkette]
• The record-breaking ratings of the premiere of Edie Falco's Nurse Jackie Monday night were so impressive that Showtime has already ordered a second season. [Women and Hollywood]
• Blind Item: "Which top-selling artist purportedly had his new single cut from some radio stations playlists in retaliation for supporting royalties for musicians?" (The article goes on to say that it's probably Bono.) [USA Today]
• Bono and The Edge wrote the music and lyrics for the Broadway musical Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark, and Bono likens himself to a superhero, natch. [Rolling Stone]
• "Mommy breastfed all three of you. You guys took all my milk, so now mommy's just getting the milk put back inside." Real Housewives of New Jersey's Teresa Giudice's explanation to her daughters about her new buh-bees. Don't go putting silicone in your coffee, girls! [People]
• "I went through this stage where I would just go out, not be responsible, not focus on work or class, and my management was like, 'Listen, you could go either way. You could be this person - I won't name names - a reality show actress. Or you could go this way - award-winning actress.' That was a real shock." - Twilight's Ashley Greene doesn't want to be like Paris Hilton. [Nylon]
• "So many means of expression are being explored in TV through women who are fully mature, in the prime of their lives, feeling experienced and able to express who they are. We're not 21. It's really exciting, in that these opportunities are kind of unprecedented. Glenn Close, Kyra Sedgwick, Mary McCormick, Mary Louise Parker, a show like United States of Tara—women are exploring all kinds of new aspects of themselves." - Holly Hunter [HuffPo]
• "I like when she demonstrates how to transport a potted plant while wearing Hermes pants and uses enough packing material to move a whole house. But we're just moving one plant. Really you just put the plant in a truck and go." - Alexis Stewart on her mom Martha. [AP]
• "I probably won't watch [The Hills]. I'm not a huge TV person." - author Lauren Conrad. [E!]

• Michelle Obama wore tidy Thakoon in D.C., and vivid yellow Jason Wu in London. New York Times fashion critic Cathy Horyn wonders what it all means. [On The Runway]

• I love it when the Brits write authoritative, informative articles that get — how would they say it? — pipped at the fact-checking post. The New York Topshop store's opening party may take place tomorrow at 11 a.m., Kate Moss may be there live in person, there may be scones and jam and DJs, and there may be capsule collections from Preen, Richard Nicoll, Jonathan Saunders, and the latest Kate Moss line, but whatever you do, do not turn up for the party in "midtown Manhattan, one of the big apple's busiest, buzziest retail districts." The store's on Broadway near Broome St. That's in a part of town we like to call "SoHo." Yes, we know London has one as well, albeit spelled differently, but trust us, that's where the store is. [Telegraph]
• Those French sure know from populist outrage. François-Henri Pinault, the head of luxury goods multinational PPR (and Salma Hayek's hubby) was surrounded in his car by a crowd of angry workers for the better part of an hour. Pinault was trying to leave a meeting with the European workers' council. PPR, which owns brands including Gucci, Yves Saint Laurent, and Bottega Veneta, announced plans to cut 1200 jobs recently. And, in a scene right out of Tout Va Bien, three Sony executives were held hostage by laid off workers at a factory the company closed in the south of France a few weeks back. [WWD]
• "Nicole is designing everything herself," says Nicole Richie's business partner, who is apparently unaware of Richie's well-publicized deal with jewelry designer Pascal Mouawad, who does the actual work on her House of Harlow 1960 line. Planning world domination of the accessories trade, Richie announced her intention to "design" bags, belts, and shoes for spring 2010. [People]
• Is Richard Chai going to be the new creative director of the revived Bill Blass? New owners Peacock Holdings are adamant Bill Blass will be on the New York runways come September, but they are staying tight-lipped about their choice of designer, despite the rumors that Chai is heavily favored. The reason for the odd delay in Peacock's next move, despite its stated intention of reviving the bankrupt line following its acquisition of the label from previous owners NexCen, is a six-month embargo period that was a term of purchase. [FWD]
• Resort shows are bearing the recession's bite: Gucci, which showed its cruise collection on the runway in both New York and Rome last year, is doing a mere presentation. Dior, which had a mega-show in New York last time around, isn't going to show at all. That's right. Christian Dior canceled its resort show. Chanel will have nothing of this; Karl Lagerfeld is going ahead with a lavish resort show at Venice's Lido Beach. WWD doesn't give any details about Céline's plans — Resort 09 is supposed to be Phoebe Philo's hotly anticipated industry re-entry after her years spent raising her family far from the madding crowd. If Celine scales back its resort show, then Philo's return won't look half as big a deal as it really is. [WWD]
• The latest images from Britney Spears' Candie's campaign are in, and, folks, it's a Photoshop of Horrors. [Daily Mail]
• Hayden Christensen is in an ad for a Lacoste men's perfume. He's shown reaching up for the bottle, a searching look in his eyes. [JustJared]
• Martha Stewart's shareholders might regard with interest the fact that, while Martha Stewart Omnimedia's stock price, at $2.50, has declined 67% on one year ago, Stewart's personal compensation more than doubled between 2007 and 2008, from $2.06 million to $5.4 million. (Other executives at the company's salaries declined.) Martha's daughter, Alexis Stewart, earned $209,000 for her work on the show "Whatever, Martha!" while her co-host, Jennifer Koppelman Hutt, got $130,000. Nepotism truly is priceless in this town. [WWD]
• Fashionista road-tested three sulfate-free shampoos — they're better for the environment, and your hair — and unfortunately fell for the expensive French one. I know that pain. Once I scored a gigantic bottle of Frédéric Fekkai conditioner after doing an unusually brutal hair job, and I trudged around the world with it for almost a year. Then I ripped off the label, so I could find the product again, and carried that around for months. When I finally found it, it cost $60 or something. I didn't buy it and my hair has never been as shiny and tangle-free since. [Fashionista]
• Speaking of Fashionista, a little bird tells me that editor Natalie Hormilla is leaving the site to pursue unknown other projects. We certainly wish her well.

Alexis on her incipient OCD: “If you listen to the show, you’ll know that my area has to be calm before I can calm down…Not my vaginal area. I just meant my work area.”

Alexis on the source of her "honesty": “Maybe it was because [co-host Jennifer Koppelman Hutt and I] were raised where we didn’t really have to kiss anybody’s ass."

Alexis on the East Hampton gym she owned in the 90s: "If you’re nasty to me in my place of business, I’m going to be really nasty back. I’d be like, ‘Get the F out … And then they’d say, ‘You can’t do that!’ I was like, ‘Yeah, I can. I can’t kick you out because you’re short, or gay, but I can kick you out because you’re an asshole.’ ”

Alexis on Koppelman Hutt's friends: “I hate all her friends, and if I don’t do exactly what they’re expecting me to, they’ll freak out because I’m a bitch. I don’t tap-dance…[Her] Jappy Long Island friends."

Alexis on her "media training": "My media training was when I was 22 and some C-U-N-T named Candace Bushnell came to interview me about my mother…I learned very quickly."

Alexis on Martha: "She didn’t like me. But then again not many people do like me…People like to say that Martha didn’t pay attention to me, and that’s just not true. [Beat.] Maybe not the right kind of attention."

How Did Martha Stewart End Up With Howard Stern’s Baby? [NY Mag]

Earlier: Martha Stewart's Daughter Takes Therapy Sessions Public With New Show

I realize Martha thinks that this sort of snark is going to keep her relevant, after all, Whatever, Martha was her idea, but I think it's going to backfire. If there's one thing that's sacred in this country, it's the mother-daughter relationship, and a show based around a daughter calling her mom's outfits "hideous" and mocking her with the gloves off is going to hit the absolutely wrong emotional pitch. Martha's publicist, Sheila Feren, seems to agree with me, according to the Times, "During the preparation of this article, Ms. Feren repeatedly said, 'Oh, my God. Please tell me this is not happening.'"

Alexis Stewart and Jennifer Koppelman Hutt will also attempt to do the crafts and recipes that Martha made on her own show, and the bloopers that result from that will play a lot better than what Alexis describes as her "honest" opinion. There have been rumors in the past that Alexis and Martha's relationship had its drama in the past, but the pair reconciled when Martha was in the slammer, and in some ways this show seems like a very public therapy session in which Alexis is working out her considerable anger towards her mom. Of the show, Alexis says that she doesn't say anything Martha wouldn't "say herself…Given a drink or two." Which is exactly the problem: this experiment may reveal the inner bitch of the world's favorite domestic goddess, and it might not be pretty.

[Image via Martha Stewart]

Show Skewers Martha Stewart, With Her Blessing [NYT]

We're only hearing the great stories. Very few people can have their own baby at 45. They are probably using surrogate eggs.

Or at least in-vitro. Have you noticed the crop of fraternal twins popping up for "older" women in Hollywood (Jane Seymour, Geena Davis, Julia Roberts, Nancy Grace, J. Lo)? And we say "older" because fertility begins to decline at the age of 28!

The idea is most likely perpetuated that these famous pregnancies are the result of traditional penis-in-the-vagina sex, because there's a stigma attached to infertility and the use of surrogates, probably because it indicates that one is "old" or "dried up." But really, it's not shameful at all.

Obviously, we shouldn't give up our dreams and careers and jump on the baby fever bandwagon, but a little education and information never hurt anyone. Because even if you can't imagine having children in your life, you don't really know how you'll feel in 10 or 15 years. (After all, some of us have said we'd "never ever" do a lot of stuff that we eventually did, like anal sex, for example.) If women have this knowledge at a younger age, when their eggs are still viable and not "dry and crusty" like Alexis Stewart's, then maybe they can plan better for the future. (Or not. Freezing and storing eggs is expensive: the process costs between $9,000 and $15,000, and about $350 and $500 a year for storage.)

For now, Stewart is treating her infertility like a job (the apple doesn't fall far from the tree), and will weigh her other options when her doctors tell her it's time to move on. But she said that even Martha thinks she was "silly for waiting."

Alexis Stewart Continues Fertility Treatments [People]