Some mole over in Justin Bieber's camp say that the B33bz is pissing off his record label and his assorted grown-up servants by being a lazy, ungrateful little stoner, just like—wait for it—an eighteen-year-old boy. Truly shocking. My monocle just fell plumb off my face.
Hot off the presses: Local Woman Unable to Save Own Parents' Marriage With Romantic Crossover Ballads That Have Brought Love Into the Lives of Millions.
Two mice fell into a bucket of cream. One of them panicked and drowned, but the other one kicked his little legs until he churned that cream into butter and walked out. And then Kate Major and Michael Lohan announced they were having a child, and the surviving mouse was like "What the fuck, didn't you just file a…