As he mentioned, Dave's been telling jokes about Kate and A-Rod ever since it came out that they were dating, so Kate had to know he would railroad her when she came on the show (to promote Nine.) One moment in particular demonstrated how quick Dave is on his feet:

Kate: "Can't we talk about the holidays? Let's talk about Christmas."
Dave, cutting in: "Let's talk about Thanksgiving: did Alex come to your house for Thanksgiving?"

• Robert Pattinson took Kristen Stewart to a "secret" dinner with his parents. So secret that this Britloid knows about it!

Apparently the Sparkle Vamp's mom and dad "got on like a house on fire" with Kristen. Perhaps eventually these kids will be "ENGAGED!" like Ok! declared in September. [The Sun]

• At a New Moon press conference, Dakota Fanning "struggled to look interested." And: "Her wide-set eyes sometimes drifted to the middle distance as her co-stars answered questions. Even her responses to the adoring crowd of movie buffs and reporters felt uninspired." Maybe she was tired? [The Daily Beast]
• New Moon actor Kellan Lutz was declined entrance to his own movie party. [Page Six]
• Rihanna is dating Tristan Wilds, whom you may know from 90210… Or as Michael on The Wire. [Gatecrasher]
• "Jon Gosselin signed a secret, hand-written contract with Kate Major, hiring her as his personal assistant, promising to pay her a percentage of his "accounts" and spelling out that she would not talk about their relationship." [Radar Online]
• Bijou Phillips doesn't want to attend the premiere of her film Made For Each Other, because she might have to answer embarrassing questions, in the wake of half-sister Mackenzie's incest revelations. [Page Six]
• MTV has bought the rights to air Michael Jackson's This Is It beginning in 2011. Meaning: There will actually be music on MTV! [NY Post]
• Evan Chandler, 65, the father of Jordan "Jordy" Chandler — who accused Michael Jackson of molestation — killed himself via a gun to the head earlier this month. He was reportedly suffering from a serious illness, though the ailment was not named. [NY Post]
• Penelope Cruz was on David Letterman's show last night, and refused to admit if she was engaged: "I've been here a few times with you, you know I'm tough. One thing I don't do, I don't lie about my personal life," she said. "It's sacred to me. It's my life. But I don't give details about it because I am allergic to that." [People]
• Tina Fey went to the unveiling of Barneys New York's SNL-themed holiday windows, and the papier-mâché Sarah Palin hanging in the window "started spinning around uncontrollably," which was alarming. [WWD]
• Gerard Butler doesn't read gossip. He says: "I try and stay away from anything anybody sends me, some clips or articles that tell me what's going on… I normally tell them to leave me alone and to not remind me. But it's normally when I'm doing press someone will say 'oh so, is it true about...' - and that's when I catch up on all my rumors, when I'm doing press junkets." [Mirror]
• Michael Musto's interview with Levi Johnston is Hi. Larious. MM asks if Levi's junk is "really the Alaska pipeline" and Levi claims he's no Kevin Federline, because "I'm a country singer-I'm not gonna be no rapper." [Village Voice: La Dolce Musto]
• Beth Ditto was asked what she was doing in Paris. She replied, "I am trying to be really cool." Then she did a cover of "I Will Always Love You," the Dolly Parton song made famous by Whitney Houston, saying, "it's my favorite song." [WWD]
• Carrie Prejean is threatening to sue Vivid Entertainment if the company releases photos or videos of her "solo sex tape." [TMZ]
• Frances Bean Cobain has Bard at the top of her list of colleges. [Gatecrasher]
• Does Charlie Gibson bad-mouth fellow ABC anchor Diane Sawyer? [Page Six]
• Jennifer Lopez's ex, Ojani Noa, claims he's getting death threats after trying to sell a book and "steamy" home video of J. Lo. [Page Six]
• Adam Lambert, aka Glambert, is on the cover of Out magazine — with Wanda Sykes, Cyndi Lauper, Lt. Dan Choi and Rob Marshall — and the editor's letter suggests his record label didn't want him to be on the magazine solo, because that would be "too gay." The EIC writes: "It's only because this cover is a group shot that includes a straight woman that your team would allow you to be photographed at all…" Is this the same record label that okayed this shot? And this one? [MSNBC Scoop]
• I can't figure out if this story about Hulk Hogan being attacked at a press conference is real or a wrestling stunt. And isn't Ric Flair retired? All I know is that there's a hip hop song named after him. Ric Flair wittit! Woo! Yeah so anyway: Hulk was bleeding from the head after the "attack" and there's a picture. [News.com.au]
• Aaron Eckhart and Molly Sims: Dating. [People]
• The Bob Saget reality show actually sounds interesting. [NY Post]
• Whoa. Avril Lavigne is dating Wilmer Valderrama? Okay. Does she know that in a radio interview with Howard Stern, he talked about how Mandy Moore was a virgin until he met her? He's also been linked to Lindsay Lohan, Hilary Duff, Jennifer Love Hewitt and Ashlee Simpson. [Life & Style]
• A-Rod has given Kate Hudson a ring, but it's not an engagement ring, it's a $39,000 white-gold ring to thank her for her support of the Yankees. Allegedly. [Gatecrasher]
• Celebrities can make money off of Twitter? Damn. [NY Post]
• Oprah's homeslice Nate Berkus is about to sign a deal to star in his own syndicated daytime talk show. [NY Post]
• Wall Street 2 costars Carey Mulligan and Shia LaBeouf are totes in love. [Gatecrasher]
• John Travolta and Robin Williams became good friends after crashing a wedding in 1977; now they're in their first joint film, Old Dogs. Apparently, at some point in the movie, Travolta and Williams mix up their medications. Travolta's face turns into a Joker-like smile, while Williams' tongue grows to the size of a dill pickle. "That scene, I've probably laughed harder than I ever have," Travolta says. "I knew I wanted to do the movie when I read that part. I'd pay $10 to see that scene." Maybe because you're a millionaire? [USA Today]
• The interwebs have been buzzing about the banned Enrique Iglesias video, "Sad Eyes," in which our hero indulges in phone sex, then picks up a hooker… The pole/phallic imagery is not to be missed. And if you haven't seen it yet, you can, at the link. [Buzzfeed]
• This column is all about Rose McGowan's face. [NY Daily News]
• Rod Stewart's lawyers want $3,309,871.34 in back legal fees. [TMZ]
• The IRS wants over $1 million from Aaron Carter. [NY Post]
• Thirty-six items of clothing Audrey Hepburn wore on and off the screen from 1953 to the late '60s — along with accessories and letters — will be auctioned in London next month. [NY Post]
• Gloria Estefan lost a $220,00 Bulgari diamond bracelet getting out of a car in Miami, but her husband found it. [Page Six]
• "Slumdog Millionaire star Anil Kapoor says he and Danny Boyle will ensure the kids from the movie go to school to earn their trust funds." [Page Six]
• "We're in two minds. Damian doesn't want us to add to our family under any circumstances. He wants to remain the golden prince. He says, ‘Mummy, our family is big enough.' We toy with it but we're not sure." — Liz Hurley is not sure if she is going to have more kids; her son certainly doesn't want her to. [Daily Express]
• "I'm going to make a film on Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. It won't be a so-called David Lynch film, really; it will be about Maharishi and the knowledge he brought out. It'll hold a lot of abstractions. We're on our way to India in December to start the India part of it." — David Lynch. NY Mag]
• "It's scary on the one hand because we have really big shoes to fill — for God's sake, Marcia won a Tony for this role! On the other hand, there aren't a lot of great, great, great roles, especially for women, especially for older women, of which I am one. And I'm a stage actor primarily. I always have been, even though I took a break, but that's how I got my training before I began - eighteen years of stage in New York. Yes, it's daunting: We'll all be compared to the other cast. It doesn't matter - I don't read reviews, I don't care what other people say. At this stage of my career, there are no career moves anymore. I just think when a part like this comes along, you've got to grab it." — Christine Lahti is taking over Marcia Gay Harden's role in God Of Carnage. [NY Mag]
• "Farrah's and my relationship was based on a deep love and respect for one another and for our son Redmond… After discussing how her financial affairs would be handled in the event of her passing, we agreed that our son Redmond would be the primary beneficiary of her estate," he goes on. "These were Farrah's wishes and I am perfectly happy with them." — Ryan O'Neal doesn't care that he's not in Farrah's will. [Us Magazine]
• "During shooting I tried to not go onto the Internet at all if possible. I started to pay attention to fan reaction to the trailers that have been out and what kind of stuff they like, just in order to get a temperature of where things were heading. I think you end up being a politician responding to polls if you pay too much attention to the Internet. Because it's a quick way to convince yourself that one particular person who happens to be Twittering at the moment just happens to be the authority. I try to put out fires when bizarre rumors get started. One rumor I addressed was that the Volturi scenes were supposed to be set in a bathhouse with everyone naked." —Twilight director Chris Weitz. [Techland]
• "I watch Twilight and New Moon and I think, Gosh, there are a million lines that I wish were in it that aren't. You can't be expected to capture the book - what you are expected to do is capture an essence. That's always subjective. It's something that eternally worries me, but at the same time you have to suppress those thoughts. You would be playing a really disjointed character if you were taking everyone's considerations. It's impossible to please everyone. As long as they know that you are working hard, as hard as you can, I think the actual fans of the book accept that and appreciate that." — Kristen Stewart. [Time]
• "When I was reading the books, I felt so bad for Jacob's character. I was, like, 'Wow, he can't get the girl he wants and he's being shut down and used.' But now that I'm actually filming it and living this character, I feel so much worse." — Taylor Lautner, aka Twilight's Buff Werewolf, when interviewed earlier this year. [LA Times]
• "I felt pretty goofy stepping out into the sunlight in front of 2,000 people in a town square, ripping my clothes off. I was essentially doing a striptease. But here's the irony, it was also one of the moments where I've really felt closest to people's emotional attachment to Edward... It was quite uplifting and it was also very nerve-wracking." — Robert Pattinson. Mirror]

• Nicole Richie has obtained a restraining order, preventing two celebrity photographers from coming close to her or her kids.

Nicole claims that one of the snappers trespassed at her home and the photographers often stomp their feet on the ground to try to get a reaction from her. [AP]

• In court, Nicole Richie's lawyer called Joel Madden her husband, but he misspoke; the Nicole and Joel are not married. [TMZ]
• SHOCKER: Robert Pattinson will be People's "Sexiest Man Alive." [OMG Blog]
• Whoa: Oprah has to get a pay cut if she wants to keep doing her show? How will she be able to afford her favorite things?!?! [NY Post]
• Avast me hearties! Johnny Depp has agreed to a $35 million pay deal to be in the fourth Pirates Of The Caribbean film, which makes him the highest-earning actor in Hollywood. That's a lot of dubloons, savvy? [Telegraph]
• Kate Hudson was asked if Alex Rodriguez actually has a painting of himself as a centaur in his house. She dodged the question, sorta, saying "That is the craziest thing anyone has ever asked me." Video at the link. [MTV News]
• Great Scot! Behold: Gerard Butler in a kilt. [Gatecrasher]
• "Hollywood Hills Burglar Bunch" suspect Alexis Neiers pled not guilty to breaking into Orlando Bloom's house yesterday. [TMZ]
• Paris Hilton's brother Barron got one of the "Burglar Bunch" bounced from a club Saturday night. [Page Six]
• In case you missed it, Sarah Palin called Levi Johnston an aspiring porn star on Oprah. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Oh, and Sarah Palin won't go on Letterman, because: "I don't think that I'd want to boost his ratings." [NY Post]
• Levi Johnston's Playgirl shoot did not include full frontal nudity. [People]
• Anthony Michael Hall's ex-girlfriend has a restraining order against him after he allegedly stalked her and attacked her in her apartment. Farmer Ted's spokesman says: "All of the allegations are erroneous and will be addressed accordingly." [Page Six]
• The Los Angeles City Council would like to get back $3.2 million the city spent on Michael Jackson's memorial service. A spokesman says: "During these tough economic times right now, that's big money. We're laying off, people are getting furloughed...It's still money that we put out for a memorial service for Michael Jackson." [E!]
• Meanwhile, Joe Jackson is claiming that Michael Jackson's name was forged on his will and is trying to get the executors of the will fired. [TMZ]
• Cindy Crawford's alleged blackmailer, Edis Kayalar, has turned himself in at a police station in Stuttgart, Germany. [AP]
• The Today show cancelled Al Roker's interview with Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, so, naturally, Spencer Tweeted some rude things about Al. For example: "WEATHERMAN I thought you were out of town today getting your stomache[sic] stapled again?" And: "you look very sick? Do you always look like your[sic] about to die? How old are you 97? You should retire asap- No one would even know?" [Us Magazine]
• A judge in Massachusetts has thrown out a lawsuit accusing Elisabeth Hasselbeck of plagiarism in her book about celiac disease. [AP]
• A paparazzo kept on calling Becki Newton "Kelly Ripa." So Becki rolled with it and did her best Kelly impression. [Page Six]
• Congressman Jason Chaffetz (R-Utah) thinks Carrie Prejean should have a career in politics. [TMZ]
• No one recognizes Robin Wright Penn with her dark hair. [Gatecrasher]
• Wait: Robin Wright Penn is now Robin Wright. And she was overheard at the screening of her film The Private Lives Of Pippa Lee saying: "This is all about new beginnings for me." [Page Six]
• Lady Gaga's tour without Kanye is already a success, as tickets are selling out super quick. [Gatecrasher]
• Ryan Reynolds and Anna Faris will star in TMI, a flick about too much honesty in a relationship. [Variety]
• Anna Faris has also been cast in a romcom called Wedding Bannned, in which she'll play Robin Williams' daughter. The story? "A long-divorced couple kidnap their daughter (Faris) on her wedding day to prevent her from making the same mistakes they did. The parents rekindle their relationship as they elude cops and the angry groom." [The Hollywood Reporter]
• BREAKING: Lindsay Lohan is the top fashion party attendee in New York. [Page Six]
• Mary-Kate and Ashley threw a birthday party for the guy who wrote New York Minute, aka one of the worst movies I have ever seen. [Page Six]
• Twilight fans in LA are already camped out to see New Moon. [NY Daily News]
• Hey, look, a Britloid published a lie and apologized again! This time they printed erroneous info about Sharon Osbourne. [Daily Express]
• Mary J. Blige says her song for Precious is fairly personal: "I went into the studio and cried hard, reaching back." [Variety]
• Heather Locklear = "drama" and "diva antics" on the set of Melrose Place. There was a button missing on her jacket and she allegedly said: "You've got to be (bleeping) kidding me, right? What kind of operation is this?" Then she stormed off. Allegedly. [MSNBC via the National Enquirer]
• In the piece at the link, Heather Locklear talks about Melrose Place, saying: "I saw the pilot and I wasn't sure, still. But then I saw the second episode and I thought, 'This is really fun, the clothes are great and now they're starting to get into some story lines.' And I went, 'I'm in. If I'm not the one who killed Sydney, I'm in." [LA Times]
• Congrats to Adriana Lima and hubs Marko Jaric, who welcomed a baby girl, Valentina Lima Jaric, in NYC on Sunday. [NY Daily News]
• Tila Tequila has filed a lawsuit against her ex, football player Shawne Merriman. She's using pictures of her bruises as evidence. [TMZ]
• Wow, the CW might bring back Mischa Barton's show The Beautiful Life, even though it was cancelled after two episodes. Tough times? [NY Daily News]
• Tom Waits' daughter painted Hilary Clinton and Nancy Pelosi lying down and embracing each other in their undies?!?! [Page Six]
• RIP Ken Ober, host of MTV's Remote Control. [NY Times]
• "[We're] becoming more juvenile as a nation. The guys who won World War II and that whole generation have disappeared, and now we have a bunch of teenage twits." — Clint Eastwood, to GQ. [NY Daily News]
• "It is all on Steve. Steve Martin has done this before, while for me it is the first time. All the pressure is on Steve Martin." — Alec Baldwin is not worried about hosting the Oscars. [People]
• "Everyone seems to enjoy it. But I don't think it's that funny." — Kathie Lee Gifford on Kristen Wiig's impersonation of her on SNL. [NY Daily News]
• "[I had ] big boobs because I was breast-feeding; I was perfect for it. I wouldn't get cast now." — Nicole Kidman on her role in Nine. [Gatecrasher]
• "The idea that there has been a sullying of my image ... I'm not going to be buried with an Us Weekly. I don't give a (expletive) about it anymore, I can't worry about it and I don't worry about it. And I don't think people want me to worry about it." — John Mayer is all about the music, you guys. [AP]
• "When you say to a girl, 'I play golf,' her eyes glaze over. I do feel guilty about my golf. You know you're a sad case when you spend your spare time reading books on putting or going on YouTube to watch slow motion golf swings. I'll get out of bed in the middle of the night and practice my swing in front of a mirror. I'm obsessed and it's destroying my life. Golf is an addiction." — Hugh Grant. [Daily Express]
• "You're looking at someone who would get the belt every day. 'Will you shut up, Susan!' - whack! I was often left behind at school because of one thing or another. I was a slow learner… I'm just — I'm a wee bit slower at picking things up than other people. So you get left behind in a system that just wants to rush on, you know? There's nothing worse than another person having power over you by bullying you and you not knowing how to get rid of that thing." — Susan Boyle. [AFP]
• "My whole dating thing, I've been kind of chillin'… I mean, I'm Chris Brown. I'm not saying it like that, but it's just, like, girls are going to be around. I love women. But I would say I've just been chillin'. I haven't really been trying to get into a relationship or trying to date anybody." — Chris Brown. [MSNBC via MTV News]
• "I never planned to write a book. I wasn't planning on a career in writing, I wasn't thinking about stories I wanted to write down. But I had a dream… My husband thought I'd gone crazy. I didn't speak to him for ages because I had all these weird things going on in my head. I wasn't telling him about this vampire obsession because I knew he'd freak out and think I'd lost my mind." — Twilight author Stephenie Meyer. [Daily Express]
• "I finally had a healthy beautiful baby girl and I couldn't look at her. I couldn't hold her and I couldn't sing to her and I couldn't smile at her… All I wanted to do was disappear and die. [I believed] I should not exist. The baby would be better off without me. Life was never going to get better – so I better just go." — Broke Shields discussed her post-partum suicidal thoughts on Monday while receiving an advocacy award from the Hope for Depression Research Foundation in Manhattan. [People]
• "In Vancouver, shooting New Moon, I tried something. They have this thought that no one there wears hoods except for problem people. It's the only city in the world where hoods are not fashionable. It's like if you're wearing a hood you're going to mug people. So it's a boring disguise, but it worked when I wore a hood. And then I'd sort of spit on the ground a little bit and do a little bit of shaking around as you're walking. Everyone moved around to the other side of the street." — Robert Pattinson, on being "in disguise." [Time]

• A source claims that Lindsay Lohan "stormed out of" Brittany Gastineau's birthday party in tears after her ex-girlfriend, Courtenay Semel confronted her at the party and tried to talk her into going to rehab. [PageSix]

• "Everyone was trying to keep [Lohan and Semel] apart, especially since Courtenay is recently out of rehab and has pleaded with Lindsay to do the same," says a source, "Everything was fine for a while, and Lindsay seemed happy, but then there was a confrontation when she came out of the bathroom, and she ran out in tears. Everyone fears she's on some kind of self-destructive collision course." [PageSix]
• Meanwhile, Lindsay also reportedly has a crush on Leonardo DiCaprio. "Lindsay has a major crush on Leo but that's as far as it goes right now. She knows him, they are friends but that's it. Lindsay is ready to be more then friends with Leo but he doesn't see her that way." [ShowbizSpy]
• According to Ian Halperin, author of Brangelina: The Untold Story of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie , it was Angelina Jolie who came up with the storyline that Jennifer Aniston put her career ahead of having a family with Brad Pitt, as she "was convinced that this is the story that would resonate with all these women who saw her as a man-stealing bitch." [USWeekly]
• Katie Holmes looks very tired and like she wants you to get out of her way when she goes out to get coffee. Celebrities! And so on and so forth. [DailyMail]
• Daniel Radcliffe's rep claims that Harry Potter doesn't smoke pot, regardless of what the tabloids are saying: "Daniel does smoke the occasional roll-up cigarette, but he was not doing anything more than this." 420 points from Gryffindor! [PageSix]
• Kevin Spacey says that living in London has given him "a whole new perspective, not only on America, but on the world itself." He also says he's "starting to dress a little more formally, too, wearing British designer suits - which would have made my mother very proud." [DailyMail]
• Leona Lewis has turned down a $1 million offer to pose for Playboy. [TheSun]
• Liam Gallagher says that the remaining members of Oasis will carry on as a new band after Noel Gallagher's departure. "We're sort of doing things at the moment," he says, "Not Oasis, Oasis is done. Everyone except for Noel." [Reuters]
• Alanis Morrissette says she struggled with anorexia and bulimia as a teenager, and that being in recovery has helped her strengthen several aspects of her life: ""I'm really clear about what my life mission is now. There's no more depression or lethargy, and I feel like I've returned to the athlete I once was. I'm integrating all the parts of me — jock, musician, writer, poet, philosopher — and becoming stronger as a result." [CNN]
• Leading porn company Vivid Entertainment has "legally obtained" a copy of Carrie Prejean's "solo sex tape" and wants her to sign off before they distribute it. Yeah, right. She is so not doing this. Though in fairness, I Am Doing This would probably make a good title for the tape, no? [TMZ]
• Emmy Rossum was not amused when a DJ tried to compare her relationship with Adam Duritz to that of Rose McGowan and Marilyn Manson. [DailyExpress]
• "I used to repeat with many of the actors and actresses I've worked with, because it's a like an investment. If you find someone that you understand very well and they get you, it saves time and it also gives you more security. [With Penélope], I'm willing to push her as far as possible. I know her versatility, and am interested by the idea of working with her in 10 years when she's 45 and it's an entirely different character."-Pedro Almodovar, on working with Penelope Cruz. [WSJ]
• Joey Lawrence and his wife are expecting their second daughter in April. If you feel the need to celebrate, I suggest watching this. [People]
• Oprah apologized to Robin Givens on her show yesterday for a show she'd taped with Mike Tyson, wherein Oprah's audience laughed after Tyson noted he wanted to "sock" Givens after an interview she gave Barbara Walters about their abusive relationship. "I would say to you and every woman, who has ever been hit, I feel that I did not handle that as well as I should have and I feel that I could have gone further and should have said more to clarify that what he was doing and what he was saying was wrong," Oprah said, "So I apologize to you and I apologize to every woman who has ever been in that situation." [DailyExpress]
• Kiefer Sutherland would like you to know that he has not reconciled with his ex-wife, Kelly Winn, though they have "have remained good friends since they separated in 1999." 
[People]
• A source claims that Alex Rodriguezis thinking of proposing to Kate Hudson: "He's been talking about proposing quite a bit lately. He wants to think of a creative and cute way to pop the question." [ShowbizSpy]
• The man accused of trying to extort money from Cindy Crawford and her husband, Rande Gerber by threatening to publish a "provocative photo" of the couple's daughter is also being accused of repeatedly beating and raping his ex-wife. [NYDN]
• Stephenie Meyer says that Robert Pattinson resembles the Edward Cullen she always imagined: "There's something unusual. There are moments where he looks exactly like he did in my head." [E!]
• "If I could choose any role other than mine I would not mind playing Bella. That girl is facing some issues and it would be fun to get inside her mind for a day."-Taylor Lautner [ShowbizSpy]
• "I just want to say though, that if people have a problem with designers or magazines using too thin models, they should just stop buying the designers' clothes or the magazines. Don't buy them and then complain about it and feel bad about yourself! Use your power. Magazines will change if no one's buying them, believe me."-Cindy Crawford [TimesOnline]
• "Everyone in my family knows that I try to eat healthy and I'm trying to cut back on sugar. So I look at the dessert table at my mother's house and quietly grumble. But then, sure enough, there's always the one thing that is the kryptonite of my dessert life. So I shove the spoon in and eat the chocolate-pudding cake. Mom wins, and the whole crowd has a good laugh."-Alec Baldwin, Team Cake. [Parade]

• Dina Lohan is pissed that Michael Lohan keeps leaking recordings of Dina and Lindsay's phone calls to him. "The tapes were from a long time ago, and for a father to stoop this low is unforgivable," she says. And:

"My ex-husband has been in and out of jail for 10 years. My children and I gave him a chance to get to know them again, and he clearly blew that chance!" And: "I have had a criminal order of protection from the domestic violence sector since 2005. He was not supposed to even be harassing me by phone." Lastly, if you're still listening: "My heart is breaking for my children that he could do this. He has no visitation anymore and is six months behind in child support. The authorities have been alerted!" [E!]

• Hey, guess what? Michael Lohan has released another recording of a phone conversation between himself and Dina Lohan. She blames him for Lindsay cutting herself, and says: "It's bad." And Dina believes that "something's gonna happen" and it'll be all Michael's fault. [Radar Online]
• Rosie O'Donnell and Megan Fox are afraid of Angelina Jolie. Kristen Stewart says she doesn't want to be like Angelina Jolie. This column asks, Is Hollywood turning on Angelina Jolie? Eh, do you think she gives a shit? [MSNBC Scoop]
• This daytime noir Donnie Darko-esque promo for James Franco on General Hospital is kind of fucking awesome. "Anyone can die at anytime!" [NY Magazine]
• Miss J says of his 7-year-old son: "He insists on wearing nice shoes. I think somehow my fashion genes must have slipped in there." [Us Magazine]
• Kate Hudson is "pushing" A-Rod to elope. Because that's what women do! [Gatecrasher]
• Rihanna spent more than $50,000 to fly her family to New York from Barbados for the Glamour Awards. [Page Six]
• You can watch Rihanna's speech from the Glamour Woman of the Year Awards at the link. A snippet: "Maya Angelou, I love you, but you make this terribly difficult for me." [YouTube]
• LOL headline of the day, via Russell Brand: "Katy Can't Do Your Show… She's Doing Me Instead." [The Sun]
• Kristen Stewart on those who ask whether she and Rob are an item: "The only way that I'm able to stay sane is to protect myself, and like, I know that it doesn't matter how you answer a question, it's going to tip. Someone's going to say, 'She's totally with him,' or, 'No, I don't think she is,' so it's sort of like, I don't care. You just have to seriously be like, have it, have it all. Take my, you know what I mean, just like, you want my shoes? Here you go, what size do you wear?" [ET]
• The 40-year-old women following Zac Efron around were just trying to get his picture for their daughters. No, really. [Page Six]
• Emma Thompson made some comments about her adopted Rwandan son had been subjected to racism at the University of Exeter, and now the Culture Secretary has said: "Miss Thompson is a great actress, but her comments about Exeter… are insulting… Any incidence of racism is one too many, but Exeter comes top or near top in every survey of places for friendliness and quality of life." [Telegraph]
• Sharon Stone was at a fancy Madison Avenue salon and used a private room; Queen Noor of Jordan was also there to get her hair done, but sat in the main area with the plebes. [Page Six]
• The David Letterman blackmail case is "all out war." [NY Post]
• Michael Jackson's funeral bills are in. Total cost: $855,730.31. [TMZ]
• Janet Jackson, called here "the only Jackson who was flush with cash," fronted $49,000 for Michael Jackson's funeral. She'll be reimbursed via his estate, which will also pay the remaining balance. [TMZ]
• Joe Jackson, who was trying to object to Michael Jackson's will and executors, has been shut down by a judge. [TMZ]
• An Andy Warhol portrait of Michael Jackson sold for $812,000 in an auction last night. [NY Post]
• "Winona Ryder and Barry Pepper have been cast to star in the Hallmark Hall of Fame movie When Love Is Not Enough: The Lois Wilson Story." It's the true story of the co-founder of Al-Anon and her alcoholic husband, who lived the high life in the 1920s but a downfall by the 50s. [Variety]
• Playgirl wanted to shoot Levi Johnston in the penthouse of a certain downtown hotel but didn't have enough cash to pay the fee. [Page Six]
• Dominique Swain, who once posed for PETA, has reportedly been "caught" dumping unvaccinated puppies at an animal shelter. [ONTD, Fox 411]
• Heather Locklear's return to Melrose Place is a desperate attempt to get people to care. Is it working on you? Then check out this clip from the show in which Heather — playing Amanda — says, "When I hired you to give this place a makeover, I didn't mean smear it with lipstick and turn it into a five-dollar hooker." [People]
• Celine Dion is adding a "pool complex" to her home in Jupiter Island, Florida — with "two giant pools, waterslides and a lazy river, much like an amusement park." One neighbor complains: "Distasteful is what it looks like - the whole thing sounds like a Michael Jackson fairyland to me." [MSNBC Scoop via Life & Style]
• Some dude is suing Bon Jovi, Time Warner and Major League Baseball for $400 billion, yeah, BILLION, dollars. He claims that he wrote an ode to the Boston Red Sox entitled, "(Man I Really) Love this Team." During the 2007 playoffs, Bon Jovi released a song, "I Love This Town," and the guy took the case to court. One judge dismissed it, but the guy is appealing. [Reuters]
• George Lopez's new late night talk show debuted with strong ratings. Did anyone watch? I found it only mildly funny, with too many race jokes. But I didn't watch the whole thing. [Reuters]
• Steven Tyler supposedly quit Aerosmith, but last night he showed up at an NYC club for Joe Perry's show, announced he wasn't leaving Aerosmith, and joined in on "Walk This Way." My friend Matt says: "If anyone can save the future of Aerosmith by settling the feud between Steven Tyler and Joe Perry, it's got to be Tyler Perry." [Roger Friedman's 411.com] 
• Shakira hugged and 11-year-old fan and it is news. [Page Six]
• Sir Ian McKellan mocked Jude Law at a charity event; Jude swore, "I go home religiously every night after Hamlet." Sir Ian joked, "I guess the night I saw you, you went home via [popular NYC nightclub] the Box." [La Dolce Musto]
• Julianne Hough and Chuck Wicks have broken up. [People]
• "A rare collection of Beatles autographs and photographs, given to a 14-year-old who traipsed across Salisbury plain in the rain to catch a glimpse of her heroes on the set of Help!, sold for £2,200 at auction in Berkshire yesterday." [Guardian]
• Rod Stewart, father of seven, is trying to have another baby with wife Penny Lancaster. Forever young? [People]
• Whatshername will be on I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here but arrive late and earn five times more cash than other contestants. [The Sun]
• "I think there's a lot of persuasive and powerful people around Obama. For a president to make his own decisions, I think that's a rarity. Even someone who we think of as our guy — this is a guy with integrity, a guy who cares, for the first time in a long time — in the Oval Office, even with him we don't really know who's pulling the strings. I think of every president as being a marionette. Whether he's any different, I don't know. Certainly his military advisers all want him to prosecute this war to the end, just as they did in Vietnam with LBJ. It's just too depressing, I think we're going to have to hit the streets. Obama has the chance of becoming JFK or LBJ. I think JFK was one of our last great presidents, although I thought Carter was pretty great too. LBJ could have been a great president if he hadn't gotten bogged down in war, but that was quite a war to get bogged down in. Notwithstanding the fact that the war was wrong and they were talking about the Red Scare and the domino effect, if you go and read the Pentagon Papers they were also talking about rubber, tin and oil. They killed two and a half million people. What was it all for? In Korea they killed four and a half million. Like, we're liberating these people?" — Woody Harrelson plays a soldier in his intense new film The Messenger and, at the link, has lots of thoughts about war, death, the military and President Obama. [Salon]
• "They got in trouble because my children are riding their dirt bikes through the whole trailer park, going crazy, doing flips — and everyone's concerned for their safety. And mom's like, 'Oh, they've been riding the whole weekend, they're having a blast!' I was like, 'They're not allowed to ride their dirt bikes in the trailer park!' They terrorize the neighborhood the whole time." — Pamela Anderson's sons — 13 and 11 — are tiny terrors. [Contact Music]
• "I don't have to play scenes with actors standing on buckets." — Sigourney Weaver, 6 feet tall, says that she doesn't believe her height has ever intimidated leading men. [Telegraph]
• "I had a great time with Hef and the girls when they came to see Peepshow and hang out in Vegas.  I don't watch the other episodes though, because it kind of makes me mad. The girls need to focus on what makes them unique and not doing the same things Bridget, Kendra and I have already done on the show.  Even camping in the backyard was an idea I had for an episode that we never got around to shooting.  And guess what they just showed? The girls camping in the backyard.  I don't want to look behind, I want to look forward." — Holly Madison is annoyed by the new Girls Next Door. [Fox 411]
• "I don't know that [Oprah] and Gayle are necessarily doing each other, but I think they are the emotional equivalent of.. [a gay couple]. When they did that road trip, that's as gay as it gets, and I don't mean it to be an insult, either. I'm just saying, listen, if you ask me, that's the couple." — Rosie O'Donnell. [ONTD via Times Of The Internet]
• "These jeans are a few days old, but the top is probably fresh because it gets to the point where even I can't stand the air around me. I don't know, my personal hygiene - it's so disgusting! Really it's just that I have very few clothes that I like and I'm travelling all the time, so I can't really get any more." — we get it, Robert Pattinson, you're filthy. [MSNBC via New! magazine]
• "I love clothes, and fashion is a great art form. Being a woman and my femininity are very important to me. But with my work I have to check my preferences at the door and personify the character I am playing as best I can. Your character isn't who you are. That's the great thing about my job. I get to step into somebody else's shoes – whether that's a pair of flat brogues or some stilettos." — Hilary Swank. [Daily Mail]
• "I'd love to have kids… But I'm much to young to get married." — Shakira. [Gatecrasher]
• "The funny thing is that I was very open and honest about [my bisexuality] from the very beginning, and everyone was acting like it was some new trend. Go back four or five years, people, and you'll see the same answer. I've been very honest with him from the get-go. I think women are beautiful. I've had a lot of fun with women, and I'm not ashamed of it. The problem is that I also love a well-endowed man. But just because I enjoy women doesn't mean I'm allowed to have affairs in my relationship. I learned through talking with my therapist that it is still cheating even if it's with girls, so there is a rule there." — Fergie. [Us Magazine via The Advocate, Page Six]
• "Lady Gaga stole your act." — President Obama to Cyndi Lauper. [La Dolce Musto]

• It's Complicated's Alec Baldwin has amazing body image. "I have a great ass, if I may say so. That's a part of my body that needs no surgical enhancement or rearranging." But when it comes to cosmetic surgery, Baldwin says:

"I'm not saying I wouldn't do something! I intend to do something, I probably will. Let's put it this way: I wouldn't rule it out because... You don't think I wake up every day and wish I looked like this and this and this? But I can't let that bother me." Costar Meryl Streep is not convinced: "If you've ever even contemplated that stuff and looked at what can go wrong in any of those magazines, it's terrifying!" [Us via Entertainment Weekly ]

• Oooh! Julianne Moore on 30 Rock! Maybe as Alec Baldwin's love interest! [E!]
• Britney Spears' Australian tour has yet to begin, but it's already controversial: People have heard she'll be lip-syncing, and they are not happy. [AFP, Sydney Morning Herald]
• The Michael Lohan mess continues! Now Lindsay has Twittered, "Haha he's needs the book for dummies on HOW TO BE A MAN." In response, Michael says: "Lindsay is grasping at straws and when she gets angry she lashes out." And! "I want her to go into rehab." Yeah. We know. [RadarOnline]
• Lindsay also Tweeted that her father is a "loser" and, in reference to her mom, says: "She blames herself for staying w/him for so long, I'd beg her not to leave b/c he always threatened to kill her if she did." Michael Lohan responds: "That's a lie. I guess Lindsay is on more drugs than I thought to say something like that. Now I'm going to release more recordings that prove everything she is saying is nothing more than a bunch of lies. No wonder why God is taking her entire career away from her. Because she's forsaken everything He's given her and she's done nothing but misuse all the gifts she's given." [Page Six, ABC News]
• Want video of Michael Lohan saying Lindsay lies and so on? You got it. [Radar Online]
• Speaking of Michael Lohan, he and Hailey Glassman are among the witnesses TLC plans to subpoena in a breach of contract lawsuit filed against Jon Gosselin. That should be fun. [People, Radar Online]
• OMG OMG! The White House will host an episode of Iron Chef America, and contestants will use food from Michelle Obama's garden! [NY Daily News]
• Levi Johnston is pissed that William Shatner read his Tweets on The Tonight Show. His rep released a statement which reads: "My client, Levi Johnston, is being impersonated on your media (Twitter) and this is leading to libel and slanderous statements being attributed to him. ... We want you to put an immediate end to this illegal activity. ... You are being used as a medium to promote this illegality and we want immediate action." Etc., etc., etc. [ET, TMZ]
• Levi Johnston went shopping for hockey gear. For his ten-month-old son, Tripp. [ET]
• Levi Johnston is getting an award from our sister site, Fleshbot. [E!]
• Kate Hudson and A-Rod celebrated the Yankees' win by partying late. [NY Daily News]
• Will Oprah move her show from Chicago to L.A.? In a word: No. Not in the immediate future, anyway. But since her network, OWN, supposedly launches next year, she may move the show. But a source calls the OWN company "rudderless." [MSNBC Scoop]
• "Oprah Winfrey is removing gospel singer BeBe Winans from her show's 'karaoke challenge' until charges against him for allegedly pushing his ex-wife to the ground are resolved." [AP]
• Colin Farrell's sex tape has come back to haunt him, his girlfriend, and his girlfriend's family. [Irish Central]
• Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush are house-hunting together, if you care. [People]
• As you may have read in Midweek Madness, the stripper who claims she hooked up with Josh Duhamel claims that they fell asleep together after doing the deed, but "he kept waking her up for more sex." [Us]
• Awww: Slumdog Millionaire director Danny Boyle says Freida Pinto and Dev Patel are "soul mates." [Mirror]
• Um, David Gest plans to hold a seance tonight to attempt to contact Michael Jackson. You know who Gest needs to contact? A good hairdresser, because there is something WRONG. [The Sun]
• Kevin Spacey made a joke about Simon Van Kempen, Alex McCord and Ramona Singer of the Real Housewives of NYC, but they didn't think it was funny. [Gatecrasher]
• A suicide prevention group is not happy about the scene in The Office when Michael tries to scare kids by hanging from a noose. [AP]
• Jesse James is ordering his ex-wife to leave new wife Sandra Bullock out of their custody battle. Sandra has been helping Jesse raise his 5-year-old daughter ever since January, when Jesse's ex-wife — porn star Janine Lindemulder — wen to jail for tax evasion. [People]
• Mean! Sharon Osbourne thinks that Susan Boyle "looks like a hairy [bleep]hole." [Page Six]
• Spotted: Paula Abdul bawling at a screening of Precious. [Page Six]
• Stephen Colbert saw Bob Woodruff trying to tape an interview with Bruce Springsteen near a bathroom, so, naturally, Colbert flushed the toilet every time Bruce started to talk. [Page Six]
• Kevin Federline certainly likes to procreate. The National Enquirer is reporting hat his girlfriend is pregnant. That's K-Fed's fifth kid. [Perez]
• "Morgan Freeman has settled a lawsuit related to a 2008 car accident that seriously injured him and a passenger, according to court records posted Thursday." [USA Today]
• Pamela Anderson has been living in a trailer while her home was being worked on. "I moved there because I was waiting for this damn house to be built in this posh part of Malibu — then I realized I was so much happier." But now she's ready to move back into her house, although, she says: "The kids don't want to leave." [Daily Express]
• MTV host Alexa Chung celebrated her birthday with Agyness Deyn, cake, and ice cream. [Page Six]
• James Gandolfini doesn't like it when you film him without his consent. In this video, he tells a guy with a camera, "I'm gonna break your fucking face." Jeez. Do not make Tony Soprano mad! [Gothamist]
• Whatshername's kid is okay and out of the hospital. [The Sun]
• "Being out and just open: It's very liberating. Now I don't have to dance around anything. I don't have to think 'Well, if I say that, they're going to figure this out and that's going to lead to this.' Now, everything is out on the table. I don't have anything to hide; I can be even bolder." — Wanda Sykes. [USA Today]
• "There's that saying, what other people think of me is none of my business? But I don't really care. And I've dined with my heroes, man. If we're talking about comedians and people that have taken shots at me, I don't get it. I don't get that, 'cause I know that the Chris Rocks and the Steve Martins and the Billy Cosbys and the Rodney Dangerfields, guys that I loved, embraced me. Other comics, what people deem 'alt comics,' a lot of them have egg on their face 'cause they're now making talking-animal movies. 'Cause they sold out hard-core. And they have to answer to their fans now - 'Hey, I took a shot at Dane,' but you're in Alvin and the Chipmunks. And you know what? More power to you. You did a movie that goes against what you preached, and what you hard-core vehemently nailed me on. I know you got a kid to feed. You might have a sick mom that you have to take care of. And that's okay. I'm not gonna take your legs out from under you. But I am aware that you put your head in your pillow, and maybe you should have bit your tongue a little bit." — Dane Cook. [NY Mag]
• "I've done a few things, playing around with the OCD thing — when I leave my house I do a few things just to see what that's like. It's fun — you just have to maintain a real level of stillness. There's an air of confidence that comes through that stillness which dictates on the character so it's been a fun ride." — Dominic Monaghan pretends he has OCD because he plays a character with OCD on FlashForward. [Mirror]
• "Pepsi has created a soda that has Viagra in it. It's not going to be called a soft drink anymore." — Bruce Springsteen. [Gatecrasher]
• "I wouldn't have made it on that show. The pressure is unbelievable. Success wasn't measured back then as it is today — it took us three albums to make it big and I don't think they would have let happen now." — Jon Bon Jovi on X Factor. [Telegraph]
• "We are not supposed to still be here." — Jon Bon Jovi on being in the biz for 25 years. [BBC News]
• "I'm gonna get in trouble for this, but I don't watch any of the shows! The only show that I've seen anything on was a couple episodes of Atlanta and that's because I'm really good friends with [Atlanta's] NeNe and she was telling me about something and I was like, 'Oh, that sounds juicy. I gotta watch it!' I just developed a makeup line called Gretchen Christine Beaute and I'm working on the Gretchen Project and I just don't have time to watch TV — it's hard enough to get me to sit down and watch the show I'm on! I already have enough drama, obviously, in my life, so I don't need to watch the drama of the other ones." — O.C. Real Housewife Gretchen. [PopWrap]
• "I just finished writing a script and I am trying to get funding and casting for it, believe it or not. It's called We and it's a love story… It is two parallel love stories told from a woman's point of view, obviously. One is a historical story that took place with the Duke and Duchess of Windsor. And the other is one I made up about a couple in New York." — Won't you please fund Madonna's film career? [Daily Express]
• "No more farm animals — and no more children!" — George Clooney. [CNN]

• According to an ex-girlfriend of Yankees star Alex Rodriguez: "He was so vain. He had not one, but two painted portraits of himself as a centaur. You know, the half man, half horse figure. It was ridiculous." [NYDN]

• Apparently, the centaur paintings don't bother Kate Hudson any: "All she does is talk about Alex," says a source, "She even plans her movie schedule around him. She's madly in love." [ShowbizSpy]
• An author has written a book all about Britney Spears that is based on psychotherapy sessions he took...on Britney's behalf. .[LATimes]
• "There are some people out there who think that I'm repulsive, that I'm not even human. This guy said, if he had a choice between having sex with me and cutting his dick off, then he'd cut his own dick off. And I was like, first of all I think you're lying. But second, if he is telling the truth, then that says something pretty profound … about him."- Diablo Cody [Guardian]
• "Yeah, once in a while, but it's not like it used to be, now they're weird sizes and strange shapes. But yeah, once in a while we get a nice pair of panties."- Billy Joel, on having underwear thrown at the stage while he's performing. And yes, I wrote underwear, not the other word. Pant—-, see! I can't even write it! Ugh! [NYMag]
• Colin Farrell and his girlfriend, Alicja Bachleda, had a son together on October 7. The boy's name is Henry Tadeusz Farrell; he's Farrell's second child and Bachelda's first. [People]
• The woman accused of stalking both Justin Timberlake and Axl Rose claims that she's been targeted by "Babylon witches" who have "evil" powers over her. [TMZ]
• "I thought there were thousands of other guys that deserved it, but it's been a great year. But now the pressures off. I can be a slob again." -Hugh Jackman, on handing over his "Sexiest Man Alive" crown. [People]
• "I'm 61 now and I think I'll probably be touring for the next five years. I'm in better shape now than I was at 30. I'm like Benjamin Button."- Alice Cooper [Independent]
• "The Starry Messenger," starring Matthew Broderick, has been pushed back from its original off-Broadway debut date, due to shaky preview performances wherein Broderick seemed to forget several lines. [Yahoo]
• Bruce Springsteen, Mick Jagger, and The Black Eyed Peas joined u2 on stage last night at a concert celebrating the 25th anniversary of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. The show will be broadcast on HBO in November. [Yahoo]
• Metallica and Lou Reed also played together, as did Annie Lennox and Aretha Franklin. [NYTimes]
• Sienna Miller got upset when a photographer asked her about her ex-boyfriend, Jude Law, as she was walking her dog in New York City: "Just before she got home, she had an outburst, told the photographers to [bleep] off and burst into tears," says a source. [PageSix]
• "It was hard on both of us. When we were talking, I said, ‘Even though this isn't happening right now, I'm going to still go out on the road. And he said, ‘Great, I support you.' And he's been very supportive."-Lady Gaga, on continuing her tour after her planned tour with Kanye West was canceled. [ShowbizSpy]
• A source claims that the Jon Gosselin/Hailey Glassman breakup has all been"carefully orchestrated" for the press: "First, Hailey laments how hard her life has been lately and how bad Jon treats her, then Jon repents. Next, Jon plans to announce that he is going to be spending some time alone. It has all been designed so that it doesn't seem as though Hailey got dumped." [People]
• Meanwhile, Jon's spiritual advisor, Rabbi Shmuley Boteach has released another statement re: Jon's relationship with Hailey: "I have advised him to end it with Hailey. It is unacceptable to be in a relationship when he is still married and has to take care of kids who are hurting. It is not a healthy relationship." [PageSix]
• This slideshow proves that Heidi Klum is excellent at picking out and pulling off Halloween costumes. [CNN]
• "It is heartbreaking to see so many young girls and boys suffering. I spent some time visiting brothels and showing prostitutes how to use condoms to prevent the spread of AIDS. I met one woman who has three children and prostitution is the only thing she can do to feed them. I met children sold by their families into domestic slavery, who are abused and worked around the clock."- Molly Sims, describing a recent charity trip to Haiti. [PageSix]
• Kenny Ortega says that Michael Jackson was hoping to make a series of movies: "He told me he wanted to create a partnership with me to do films. We were talking about doing Legs Diamond. And we were talking about doing a full-length, 3-D feature of Thriller." [DailyExpress]
• "I'd never experienced anything like that, and I would never wish anyone else to. Being judged by the colour of your skin is horrible. My dad is really laid-back. He said, 'Don't worry about it. I've experienced stuff like that many times, especially when I was younger, so don't be upset for me. I'm fine.' Do you know what he did? He got my CD, went back in the shop and said, 'You've just offended a really nice young lady. I just want to leave you this, so you can look and see who it is. This is my daughter. I'm not trying to cause trouble, but I wanted you to see that.'"-Leona Lewis, on being asked to leave a shop because the saleswoman "didn't like the look" of her father. [DailyMail]
• JoAnna Garcia of Privileged will guest star on an upcoming episode of How I Met Your Mother, as a college friend of Ted's. [JustJared]
• Brooke Shields was the one who convinced Andre Agassi to shave his head; before then, he'd been wearing a wig on the court. [DailyMail]
• I was working in the lab late one night, when my eyes beheld an eerie sight, for my monster from his slab began to rise, and suddenly to my surprise,he did the mash! He did the monster mash! The monster mash! It was a graveyard smash, you guys. For real. [YouTube]

[New York, October 28. Image via Getty]

• The LAPD has arrested four women in connection with break-ins at Lindsay Lohan and Audrina Patridge's homes.

One of the women, 19-year-old Rachel J. Lee, may also be involved in last year's jewelry heist at Paris Hilton's house, and her team may have also targeted Orlando Bloom. Teen cat burglars? I smell a screenplay! [People, TMZ, TMZ]

• Meanwhile, Lindsay says it's okay for her 15-year-old sister to party because "She's tougher than I am." And: "She has a good head on her shoulders. Maybe it was different for me because I didn't know what to expect and it just happened really fast. I didn't have a big sister." [E!]
• A club that had banned Lindsay Lohan has allowed her back in. [Page Six]
• Word is Rosie O'Donnell's marriage is over for good and Kelli Carpenter actually moved out months ago. [Radar Online]
• Someone dared David Cross to snort coke at the White House Correspondents' Dinner (which was not held in the White House) so he did. "Maybe 40 feet from the president of the United States!" [Newser]
• The United States has officially asked Switzerland to hand over Roman Polanski to authorities in California. [AP]
• Katherine Jackson has changed lawyers in the Michael Jackson estate case. [USA Today]
• Kenny Ortega, the choreographer working with Michael Jackson on the This Is It tour, says he wanted MJ healthy: "Michael had sleepless nights and we had to look after him. [I'd say to him], 'Stay hydrated, have a protein shake - Did you eat today before you came?'" But Ortega doesn't believe rehearsals were wearing MJ down: "Working on this show was invigorating, was nourishing." [AP]
• Alex Rodriguez dabbled in Kabbalah when he was dating Madonna and now he's getting into Buddhism, thanks to Kate Hudson. [Gatecrasher]
• A source close to Balloon Mom Mayumi Heene says she is "totally subservient to Richard and the boys. Whatever they want, they get" And that Mayumi will "go down with the ship." [NY Daily News]
• A pharmacist testified in the Anna Nicole Smith case, saying that when he received a request for drugs from her doctor, he said: "This is crazy. This is pharmaceutical suicide. The dosages are way out of whack." And: "I said I wouldn't fill it, and no pharmacy in California would." [NY Daily News]
• Awesome: Jay-Z and Will Smith are backing Fela!. [NY Post]
• Matt Damon is dealing with a "serious" family emergency. Stay tuned. [E!]
• Denis Leary and his wife Ann have a house in the country with three dogs and two horses; they're profiled in the Times today and also, Ann blogs about their picturesque rural life. [NY Times]
• Pamela Anderson is living in a trailer because construction on her house in Malibu is not going as planned. She says: "I am $3million over budget and I should have moved in over a year ago. I'm tiling the whole pool in platinum - that's expensive!" She also claims: "I'm going to sell [the house]. I hate it. People commit suicide over constructions. Relationships break down over constructions and I can see why. It rips your heart out." [Daily Mail]
• Oliver Stone is using "his uptown friends" as extras in Wall Street 2. Authentic! [Page Six]
• At the link, the amazing Mira Nair — who directed Mississippi Masala, Monsoon Wedding, The Namesake and Reese Witherspoon's VanityFair, talks about her latest, Amelia: "So much about Amelia [Earhart] is so undeniably modern. If she were to walk into a room today in her jodhpurs and her aviation jackets, [with] her ideas about marriage or men and women, she would still be considered an iconoclast." [NPR]
• Is there a backlash against Precious? And is Oprah to blame? [LA Times]
• Vanessa Redgrave is doing a one-night-only performance of The Year Of Magical Thinking — which is based loosely on the Joan Didion memoir and about dealing with unexpected death — mere months after Redgrave's daughter Natasha Richardson died. [WSJ]
• In this video, Tom Green and Tony Hawk have lunch and Tom talks shit about his ex-wife, Drew Barrymore: He has opinions about her photoshoot with Ellen Page and her behavior during their marriage. [Shred Or Die]
• "Magic Johnson blames former friend Isiah Thomas for spreading rumors that Johnson was gay after he announced he had HIV in 1991." [Newser]
• Bronson Pinchot made some… intense statements about Tom Cruise's homophobia and Denzel Washington's unpleasant character, and at the link, he clarifies. [WSJ]
• Earlier this year, Spike Lee slammed Tyler Perry's sitcoms, saying, "I think there's a lot of stuff out today that is coonery and buffoonery. I'm scratching my head. We've got a black president. Are we going back?" Now Perry say: "You know, that pisses me off. It really does. Because it's so insulting. It's attitudes like that that make Hollywood think that these people do not exist and that's why there's no material speaking to them. I would love to read that to my fan base." [CBS News]
• RIP Soupy Sales. [Reuters, CNN]
• "If you took the top five of my CDs and just put 'em away and then you have children, 10 years later, you break these out and put 'em on… you'll be laughing. And your kids will be laughing. ou put The Cosby Show on - there won't be any cellphones and people might be wearing funny sweaters - but that same human behavior will still connect with people." — Bill Cosby, who will received the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor on Monday, and believes good comedy has no shelf life. He also says he doesn't watch TV anymore: "I'm not thrilled with the deliberate onslaught of the public by the major networks in terms of the sitcoms. They still don't get it about race. They still don't get it about gender. Jokes are still about jerks and body parts and sex." [USA Today]
• "I think women really responded to that initially." — Patricia Arquette, on what this column calls her "more womanly, post-childbirth frame" on Medium. She also says: "They'll bring me new outfits, and I'm like, 'No, I need to repeat those pajamas again. And again.'" And! "I'm not one for spending a lot of money on this show, but these people need a new comforter!" [Variety]
• "I cook OK — I cook every night, so every night is not great. I am really not that adept a cook as [Julia Child] was, especially with that rapid-fire knife. If I did that in my kitchen everybody would run because there would be a lot of blood probably." — Meryl Streep. [Mirror]
• "It depends on the kid.  There are parts of it that are pretty intense. When I was 7 years old, I could not have seen this movie.  It would've scared me.  But my younger brother, who's now 7, could've seen this a year ago.  It depends on the kid." — Max Records, who plays Max in Where The Wild Things Are, on whether the film is too scary for young children. [LA Times]
• "Motherfucker took me out of the ghetto. That's my dude, man. He's been like a dad to me. I remember when I was on Saturday Night Live my first year and I wasn't getting much. I was down; I was ready to quit. It was three o'clock in the morning, man, I'll never forget. Makes me want to cry sometimes when I think about it. I love that man. I love that man. [long pause; starts to cry] I'm sorry, man. Excuse me. [another long pause] Son of a bitch… motherfucker's good. I remember one time Lorne took me to his office, and he said, 'Tracy, you are here not because you're black. You're here because you're fucking funny, man.' [bursts into tears again; wipes face with shirt] Changed my whole perspective.... They say every Jewish man is supposed to love one black motherfucker in this life. I'm glad Lorne Michaels chose me." — Tracy Morgan hearts Lorne Michaels. [Playboy via NY Mgaazine]

• Avril Lavigne has officially filed for divorce from Sum 41's Deryck Whibley.

They were married 3 years and 1 month, and Avril cites "irreconcilable differences." She also doesn't want to have to pay him any money. If he does want spousal support, she'll be forced to ask, "Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?" [TMZ]

• Interesting: The guy arrested for allegedly burglarizing Lindsay Lohan's house, Nick Prugo, is friends with Teen Dream Drake Bell. [TMZ]
• Jon Gosselin would like for you to know that he will "continue on television" and that he's "not worried about future employment." Great. [NY Daily News]
• Alex Rodriguez flew from New York to Miami for one night to "wine and dine" Kate Hudson, who was in South Beach. Romantic! Oh but A-Rod's ex-wife, Cynthia, and their two daughters live in Miami, and Alex also wanted to see his kids. Romantic? [Page Six]
• "Leona Lewis hit in the face by maniac who then screamed ‘I love you.'" Don't get it. [Mirror]
• Apparently the guy was at the bookstore event where Leona Lewis was signing autographs for 90 minutes. A witness says the man walked up with the book, she signed it, and as she looked up he punched her. People could hear the impact. Then security jumped on the man — who was laughing — and Leona was hustled out with her hand over her eye. Leona says she is "ok." [BBC News]
• Taylor Swift will host Saturday Night Live next month. Will there be a Kanye West sketch? Taylor says: "I've been thinking about skit ideas for a long time. There are definitely some hilarious things that have happened to me over the past couple of months that I think will be pretty substantial skits." The problem is that SNL needs more black people. Keenan would not make a good Kanye. Or Beyoncé, frankly. [AP]
• Love love love this 10 Questions With Tracy Morgan column. When asked, "What are the cast members for 30 Rock like to work with? Tracy answers: "I don't know what they do when they're at home. Tina - she's a mother and a wife. We don't hang out. But at 30 Rock, everybody pretty much gets along. Jack McBrayer, we're very close, and it was an honor to be nominated [for an Emmy] in the same category with him. If he would've won, that means we would've won. If I would've won, that means I would've won. I'm not sharing my award with nobody." Also, his healthcare advice is interesting. [Time]
• Kanye West is "thankful" that a law was named after his mother. The measure will protect people from "unnecessary bodily trauma" that could result from elective cosmetic surgery procedures, if they are not physically fit to undergo surgery. [Radar Online]
• As you may recall, Fox NFL Sunday showed a skit mocking Jessica Simpson's weight. Now Fox says: "Burger King Corp. did not have any editorial input in the creation of the animation that ran last Sunday, and no one from Burger King Corp. approved it before it aired. Upon reflection, our poor attempt at humor was insensitive and we deeply apologize to anyone who might have been offended." [Us Magazine]
• The shitty sound of this dumb video of John Mayer partying in a gay bar nearly blew out my speakers, so beware. [ Radar Online]
• "Howard K. Stern helped Anna Nicole Smith crush, cook, inject Valium, ex-bodyguard testifies." [NY Daily News]
• Maria Shriver has issued an apology for illegally using her cell phone while driving and will donate her favorite old cell phone to the HopeLine program that helps domestic violence shelters. [TMZ]
• Will the editors really choose to put Tara Reid on the December cover of Playboy instead of Kelly Bensimon? [Fox News Pop Tarts]
• Michael Jackson's This Is It is selling out all over the world. [NY Daily News]
• Ew, Mariah Carey calls Nick Cannon "DJ Sex Fingers." As the kids say: Vom. [Page Six]
• "Spike Jonze had ex-girlfriend Karen O of Yeah Yeah Yeahs record Where the Wild Things Are music." She says: "It's the best way to continue the relationship in a professional way." [Gatecrasher]
• Is Kids Incorporated to blame for Fergie's meth habit? She says: "What happens when you're a child professional is that you have to be, well, professional. You're taught not to have tantrums, to always people-please. That's part of how I got into (drugs) later." Hmm. [NY Post]
• So you know how Jimmy Kimmel's girlfriend Molly McNearney works for his show? "Staff members are said to troubled by the romance and the unfair promotions it's earned McNearney." [MSNBC via Radar and Gawker]
• In the David Letterman case, the prosecutor wants to keep search warrants sealed and for a hearing to take place behind closed doors. [E!, AP]
• It's CBS vs. CBS in the David Letterman investigation. [NY Post]
• "Stephen Gately smoked cannabis on the night of his death." [Telegraph]
• Jodie Foster, Mel Gibson and Mel Gibson's beaver were hanging out in a high school in White Plains. [Page Six]
• Jeremy London (Mallrats, Party Of Five) may default on his mortgage unless he pays $12,856.81. [TMZ]
• Andrew Keegan was accused of abusing a former girlfriend, but a judge rejected the woman's request for a restraining order after hearing evidence. [TMZ]
• The Beckhams were named "best modern family" in a random online poll. [Mirror]
• "And I think for Letterman to get up there and say ‘I'm the innocent victim and I had some consensual sex'-and he actually said some interesting things: He used the word ‘creepy'-well, the last time I tried it, consensual sex wasn't creepy." — defense attorney Gerald Shargel, who has represented John Gotti. [The Daily Beast]
• "If I see Brody Jenner, he is dead… [He] has the smallest penis I have ever seen." — Always classy Joe Francis, who apparently has experience with seeing Brody naked? [Page Six]
• "I'm afraid it's because they are good. When [co-star and ex-wife] Connie and I wrote them we took about six weeks to write each episode, which is unheard of. People who care a lot spend 10 days, most people do it in a week. But the fact is, we used to write 135 to 140 pages (per episode) ... There was so much in the shows that people could watch them a lot of times because they would forget the things that are in them ... And secondly, in the character Basil we nailed a certain kind of English lower-middle-class type who people are aware of and who, I think, does exist in quite a lot of people." — John Cleese, on Fawlty Towers. [Reuters]
• "Just as what you are feeling in your life affects your acting, what you act in definitely affects what you are feeling in your life. And whether you want it to or not, and even if you don't know it, it bleeds into your life. I made 'Heat' when I was 14 and played a girl who died. A year later, I got into a fight with my mother and cut myself. I had never done it before and I never did it after that, but I think having my wrists bloody in a movie definitely affected my psyche." — Natalie Portman, whose film New York, I Love You starts Friday. [LA Times]
• "People have told me, 'You could just go out there and play guitar and sing your songs like Paul McCartney,' but I'd be too bored. Most of the joy of the shows is the magic of creating them — theater. I'm a perfectionist. I like hard work. I like to sweat." — Madonna. [Page Six]
• "Listen, I would love to tell you that I was this wonderfully smart and full-of-integrity kinda guy. But at the same time, man, I wanted to get laid. That was a big part of it! This is why I wanted to be different and why I wanted to have power and fame and money: because I wanted to be attractive to the opposite sex. I'd be lying to you if I didn't say that was a big part of it." — Michael Bublé. [Telegraph]

[New York, October 7. Image via Getty]

• Heidi Montag's Playboy shoot: Not that X-Rated. Sources say the mag had strict instructions when photographing her:

"No nipples, no vagina, no ass." Guess that's where she keeps her good Christian values? [TMZ]

• Madonna has signed on to appear as a mentor in the new season of UK reality show X Factor. Also guest starring: Robbie Williams, Whitney Houston and Rihanna. [Telegraph]
• Kate Hudson is dating Alex Rodriguez and Friday Night Lights actress Minka Kelly is dating A-Rod rival Derek Jeter. Word is: "Things between the two photogenic actresses are frostier than the new stadium's $9 beer." [Page Six]
• Mary-Kate and Ashley: Double-dating, chain smoking, tickling. [Page Six]
• Seth MacFarlane says Family Guy's Stewie is gay. "We had an episode that went all the way to the script phase in which Stewie does come out. It had to do with the harassment he took from other kids at school. He ends up going back in time to prevent a passage in Leviticus from being written: 'Thou shalt not lie with mankind as with womankind. It is an abomination.' But we decided it's better to keep it vague, which makes more sense because he's a 1-year-old. Ultimately, Stewie will be gay or a very unhappy repressed heterosexual. It also explains why he's so hellbent on killing [his mother, Lois] and taking over the world: He has a lot of aggression, which comes from confusion and uncertainty about his orientation." [Gatecrasher]
• When Kourtney Kardashian says she is "so shocked" by her pregnancy, you've got to wonder what she means: She knows how to get knocked up, right? Anyways, she says: We were in the Everglades and I kept feeling nauseous and sick. I just kept thinking something wasn't right. I went to the doctor and he confirmed the news. I was just so shocked." Kourtney has not revealed who impregnated her, but in the past she was linked to skateboarder Scott Disick, whose website notes: "As for girls, he was known as being able to manipulate them into anything." [People]
• Anna Faris and Chris Pratt: Married. And it happened it Bali on July 9. As you'll recall, they were seen on what was thought to be a wedding trip in Hawaii in late July, then her rep said it wasn't true that they'd gotten hitched in Hawaii. Which wasn't exactly a lie. [People]
• Kate Gosselin on Jon Gosselin's relationship(s): "It is hurtful. Very hurtful. To be very honest, the most hurtful part is when his decisions directly affect our children. That's the hardest part for me." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Michael Jackson's "Will You Be There" will be remade with John Mayer, Lionel Richie, Whitney Houston, Usher, Dionne Warwick, Wyclef and Jermaine Jackson. Larry King's wife Shawn is spearheading the tribute, which will either be awesome or awful. [TMZ]
• …And Shawn King has just pulled out of a duet with Jermaine Jackson she was supposed to do in Vienna. [Page Six]
• Jennie Garth basically confirms that Robert Pattinson is dating Kristen Stewart by saying, "I can't say [which New Moon costar] …but he is dating one of them!" Oh man, it's Buff Werewolf, isn't it? Remember when they held hands? [Gatecrasher]
• "David Beckham disappoints Chelsea and Tottenham by insisting AC Milan is most likely destination for England star." [Daily Mail]
• "Beckhams set to swap LA for Italy?" [Mirror]
• Is Denzel Washington — like so many other Hollywood types — looking to make a living in TV? He's considering an executive producer role on a cop drama called Billy Stiles, written by Virgil Williams, who has penned scripts for 24 and ER. [Reuters]
• Kendra Wilkinson and Hank Baskett: Expecting a boy.
  "Whether this little guy is a jock or not, he's definitely going to be a mama's boy," Kendra says. "And there's no doubt he's gonna be a handsome one … just look at his dad!" [People]
• Rebecca Romijn is giving husband Jerry O'Connell diaper duty while she works on new show Eastwick. This column calls him Mr. Mom, but shouldn't it just be "Dad"? [People]
• Glenn Close used to be in Up With People?!?!? [Page Six]
• Michael Douglas has released a statement regarding his son, Cameron, being busted for meth and thrown in jail for heroin: "The family is devastated and very disappointed in Cameron's recent behavior. Any family who has dealt with substance abuse knows how devastating it can be." [People, NY Daily News]
• "A New York City judge says a jury can decide whether the author of a best-selling book about the death of Playboy playmate Anna Nicole Smith defamed her lawyer by calling him a pimp." [USA Today]
• "Anna Nicole Smith pal Howard K. Stern wins OK to sue writer for libel over gay sex video tale" [NY Daily News]
• Mickey Rourke is not impressed when you "make it rain" in the club. [Page Six]
• "Jon Hamm and Jennifer Westfeldt are ready to take on Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell for the title of Longest Dating (and Unmarried) Couple." [Gatecrasher]
• Acting legend Charles Dance, whom you may have seen in Gosford Park, says Paris Hilton's British Best Friend series is "a show for airheads, starring an airhead." Her show is bumping his university drama, Trinity. [The Sun]
• Paul Giamatti will replace Sean Penn as Larry in the Three Stooges movie. Benecio Del Toro will play Moe, and Curly has yet to be cast. [NY Daily News]
• Kim Basinger may play Zac Efron's mom in The Death and Life of Charlie St. Cloud, a flick about a grieving family. [Variety]
• Bachelorette Jillian Harris stands by Ed Swiderski, but other continue to women talk about how shady he is, blah blah blah. [MSNBC]
• Blind item! "Which scorned reality star is in talks with a major R&B singer to have a faux relationship - just to improve her image?" [Gatecrasher]
• "Today some people in traffic tried to sell me a baby. A live human baby. I didn't know what to say. I said a little prayer for the kid. Wow. It all happend so fast. I was trying to figure out if they were serious, and i think when my reaction was not a good one, they just took off. I mean look. Chances are they were joking. The scary part is i really couldn't tell. Maybe i'm just one gullable fool (sic)." — Joel Madden, via Twitter. [News.com.au]
• "Ran into the people that tried to sell me their baby today on melrose.Told me to tell you all they were joking. I thought 10k was a bit high." — Joel Madden. [Twitter]
• "I learned 30 pages of dialogue in German and English and went to the audition dressed like the character. I killed it. I did everything except sleep with the director to get that part" — Diane Kruger, to Playboy on landing her role in Inglourious Basterds. [Page Six]
• "I got stuck being searched in Toronto, and she waited for me. I totally wasn't expecting to see her when I got through my Toronto search, and she was there, patiently waiting. Some people wouldn't have waited. That's all I'm saying." —Eric Bana on The Time Traveler's Wife costar Rachel McAdams. [USA Today]
• "What was I gonna do? I was worried about you. What if you'd been sent to jail or something and I had to alert the studio?" — Rachel McAdams to Eric Bana. [USA Today]
• "You know, in the old days it was very difficult to make movies 'cause you had to have 35 millimeter cameras, which were phenomenally expensive. Or you had to have rich parents that could send you to film school. Nowadays, anybody, any kid or young person with a desire to make films ... (has) access to this equipment. You have great video cameras and the quality's fantastic. You can make soundtracks and do visual effects. You can do very competent computer effects quite easily. There are no excuses anymore. If people really want to make movies, they can go out and do it. And I think we're going see in the next 20 or 30 years a real influx of creativity to the world of entertainment because I believe a lot in the young generation coming along ... the pop culture generation who now can grab these cameras and go make films with them." — director Peter Jackson. [Reuters]
• "I definitely got doughy. I started eating like crazy and drinking dark beer. Between meals on set, I'd eat a No. 1 Value Meal at McDonald's and then Doritos on top of it. It was absolute heaven." — Matt Damon, on gaining weight for his role in The Informant. [Gatecrasher]

• Renée Zellweger and Bradley Cooper are so on. How on are they?

They walk like teenagers at the state fair: Hands on each others asses. Image at link! [TMZ]

• Here are more invasion of privacy pix of Renee and Bradley in a Barcelona hotel, and what's really notable are Renee's torturous heels. [Daily Mail]
• Oh-so-demure actress Emmy Rossum, 22, is getting a secret divorce from her secret husband after getting a secret marriage on some secret date. Secrets! [JustJared]
• On Angelina Jolie at the Inglourious Basterds premiere: "Even though Jolie skipped most press, when we chatted with her for a bit she was bubbly, fun and...nice. What gives? Could Jolie be preggers again or something?" Yes, if a woman is in a good mood, she must be sperminated. [E!]
• Jon Gosselin has given an eloquent statement in response to Kate's appearance on the today show. "Kate's the mother of my children," he told E! News. "I only wish her the best." [Usa Magazine]
• Apparently Regis Philbin and Kate Gosselin had an awkward moment in an interview which will air on Live With Regis And Kelly tomorrow. He asked if Kate could see herself reconnecting with Jon. She said: "I can't and won't answer that. I keep certain things private, and that's one." Then, Reeg being Reeg, he said: "I think you [and your husband] will get back together and live happily ever after. I think everything is going to work itself out - he'll say he's sorry, that he loves you and everything will be good." Kate had no response and the show cut to commercial. [NY Daily News]
• Justin Timberlake is bringing chukker back: He bought a house in Connecticut in a private gated community famed for Greenwich polo matches. [Page Six]
• John Hughes was mourned yesterday at a private service in Lake Forest, Illinois. Among the attendees: Family, friends, Vince Vaughn, Ben Stein and Matthew Broderick. [USA Today]
• Kate Hudson wants to have Alex Rodriguez's baby. [MSNBC]
• Nadya Suleman, mother of octuplets, has been hospitalized in California. Details? None. A source says: "This is not a big deal and Nadya should be back on her feet in a few days." [Radar Online]
• Ben Stiller will appear on an episode of Bear Grylls' Man Vs. Wild, and says he'd like to see some other stars survive in the wilderness: "I really would love to invite Demi Moore." [The Sun]
• Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush: Reunited and it feels so good? [Perez]
• Kourtney Kardashian kissed a girl. And liked it. On camera. And it's part of the promotional blitz for her show Kourtney And Khloe Take Miami. But, she says: "I feel like I'm definitely into men." [E!]
• Unbeweavable! Amy Winehouse: The Musical. Might happen. [The Sun]
• Zac Efron is at the center of a lawsuit in Beverly Hills small claims court; a woman claims he hit a cab and the cab hit her. She's looking for $3,319.76 — which should be doable if a bunch of you guys go rent 17 Again. [TMZ]
• It had been reported that Real Housewives Of Atlanta' Lisa Wu Hartwell had been evicted from her home, but she says: "We chose to move, we were not evicted. It was a short-sell. It was not a foreclosure." [People]
• Whee! Natalie Portman will produce Booksmart, the comedy written by our girlcrush Sarah Haskins and her pal Emily Halpern. This is the one about two overachieving high school seniors who realize they don't have boyfriends and resolve to each find one by prom. [Variety]
• Joe Jonas may be joining the cast of Valentine's Day, which, in addition to Julia Roberts, Anne Hathaway, Jessica Biel, Jessica Alba, Patrick Dempsey, Jamie Foxx and Queen Latifah, stars his ex, Taylor Swift. [E!]
• Even though it was previously reported that Michael Jackson had already been buried at Forest Lawn Cemetery, Joe Jackson says MJ is "not buried yet." And: "I think Vegas would be great."
• Will the 9th season of Dancing With The Stars be Jackson-inspired? Lou Ferrigno is "definitely interested." LaToya Jackson is in talks. Jermaine Jackson wants to do it too, and "thinks he could win it all." [MSNBC]
• LaToya Jackson's discussions to join DWTS are "serious." [Us Magazine]
• Jermaine Jackson was trying to pull together a "Happy Birthday Michael Jackson" televised tribute concert in Vienna on August 29, but couldn't get it organized in time. [Page Six]
• Is Blanket Blaxican?!?!? [Mirror]
• There's a dispute over the Billy Mays autopsy results; the medical examiner should not have immediately listed "heart disease" as the cause, since it ignored the toxicology work which found cocaine, Xanax and Vicodin in the pitchman's system. [TMZ]
• Amber Rose naked, holding a whip. [The Life Files]
• Joey Buttafuoco: Suing Mary Jo. Apparently he's not happy that her new book calls him a sociopath. [La Daily Musto]
• Pete Doherty is going to trial for drugs. Related: Sky is blue. [The Sun]
• Farrah Fawcett's friend Alana Stewart says that Redmond O'Neal is "doing well" and is getting sober. "He's in a rehab part of the jail and he's going to go to a regular rehab after this. He feels his mother's with him; he feels her presence very strongly and he promised her in a phone call just before she died that he would never do drugs again, so I hope that he's able to keep that promise." [Daily Express]
• Miss Universe Dayana Mendoza, who got in trouble last year when people found out that she'd posed for a jewelry ad in the nude, a no-no for Miss Universe contestants, will appear topless in Maxim's September issue. Of course. [Page Six]
• "I always look at things and say, 'Will Barbra be proud?' She does such elegant work. Am I the guy who is going out and doing the tacky stuff? So I weighed it a lot. I decided to do it because I wanted to do comedy stuff so bad." — James Brolin, on appearing in the raunchy comedy The Goods, starring Jeremy Piven. [LA Times]
• "My humor isn't meant to be mean or hurt anyone. But it's to make them uncomfortable and laugh. I like making people feel a different range of emotions. I like to make people a bit confused." — Charlyne Yi. [USA Today]
• "If I'm honest, I don't think I'll ever be totally free from that. It's much more under control but food for me will never be easy. I used it as a shield. It was a way to fend off rejection: you'll never want me, look how fat I am. I'll be the fat, funny one." — Sharon Osbourne, on her bulimia and food addictions. [Daily Express]
• "I worked with such amazingly talented people that just a brush stroke would change my face a little bit. I looked at myself in the mirror one day and I didn't really realise we were doing the older Clare that day and I said 'Oh, I'm looking a little haggard', before being told it was paint." — Rachel McAdams on playing all different ages in The Time Traveller's Wife. [Mirror]
• "I'm a successful woman, in the public eye, and raising a kid by myself. It can leave guys feeling like, 'Damn, how can I have a chance?' Just be a man!" — Taraji P. Henson, to Men's Fitness. She looks hot in the snaps at the link. [Gatecrasher]
• "There was a very funny thread on a message board somewhere online that said, 'Yeah, well, they obviously Photoshopped it, because who would sit in water all day for a photo shoot?' Well, no… [Laughs.] I sat in a giant tank of water for a solid Saturday, and it was kind of fun, actually. I mean, once you're wet, you're wet. You don't get any more wet. So you're just kind of like, 'All right, here we are.' And it was a bunch of crewmembers and waiters and an incredibly skillfully constructed set, and I think a pretty cool image that they got out of it as well. I'm sure they could have done some kind of photo trickery, but this makes for a better story, and it's way cooler to go build it and do it for reals. I think online, there's a time-lapse image of it filling up, too." — Jon Hamm, on the promotional photo for Mad Men's third season, in which he is sitting in a room full of water. [AV Club] 
• "I'm very religious. I'm a big Christian girl. I kinda wanted to keep those values a little bit. I haven't told my dad [I posed for Playboy] yet. I might not tell him. My mom was so excited she was just, like, pose! God gave you that body, you show off that cute little thing." — Heidi Montag. [Extra]

• Jennifer Lopez "threw a fit" when guests were late to her 40th birthday bash:

"An Evening With Lola" was supposed to be perfect — Lola is Marc Anthony's nickname for Lopez, and she entered the party to the song "Whatever Lola Wants." Bu there were empty seats when the dinner started and Jennifer was "fuming." [Gatecrasher]

• Rihanna and Chris Brown: In the same NYC hotel for about two days. "It was just a coincidence" and they never saw each other. [NY Post]
• Jon Gosselin: "I care about Kate Major, she resigned from her job for me. Right now, my focus is on my relationship with my kids. My personal relationship is private." [E!]
• But! Jon says: "At this point ... I'm single – per se. I'm just a regular guy who just wants to have friendship and good times. And I like meeting people." Uh, what? What about Hailey Glassman? "She's always a good friend of mine. Her family is so good. They took me in and I lived there for a while. I love them to death." Okay, so are you together? "We are going to chill out for a while and see where it takes us. I'm not looking for anyone." And what about Kate 2.0? We are just friends." [People]
• Jon shopped Madison Avenue and spent $950 on one pair of shoes. [Page Six]
• Kate Hudson! Alex Rodriguez! Kissing! At Yankee Stadium! [NY Daily News]
• Were Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart forced to be apart at Comic-Con, since the focus was supposed to be on Kristen and Taylor Lautner instead? [E!]
• It's official: Nadya Suleman has signed a reality show deal and each of her 14 kids will earn $250 a day. Taping begins September 1. [Us Magazine]
• Kate Moss has signed up to be a judge on Simon Cowell's new battle of the bands show, which attempts to discover an unsigned group. [Mirror]
• Carly Simon was a surprise guest (via speakerphone) at Simon Cowell's 50th birthday on Saturday and joked that "You're So Vain" was about him. [The Sun]
• Simon Cowell and Paula Abdul are still trying to wring more money out of American Idol. [LA Times]
• David Beckham had yet another confrontation with a fan during a Los Angeles Galaxy match; this time some dude allegedly dissed Victoria. "What he was saying about my wife was a disgrace," Bekcham says. [BBC News]
• Because he doesn't have more pressing things to worry about, Amy Winehouse's father Mitch has recorded an album with some Frank Sinatra covers and his own songs. [The Sun]
• Now that they're divorced, Blake Fielder-Civil is talking about the time Amy almost died in his arms from a drug overdose. [Daily Mail]
• LeAnn Rimes and husband Dean Sheremet are separated. This news comes right after last week's Midweek Madness revelation that LeAnn and Eddie Cibrian are still having an affair. Eddie's wife says she and her husband are "taking some time apart." So make of it what you will. [Us Magazine]
• Dean's Twitter reads: "Thanks to everyone for all the support through a very difficult time!" [People]
• If you want to read some "what went wrong?" speculation about LeAnn and Dean's relationship, go ahead. [People]
• Robert Plant was in a car crash but he's okay. [Telegraph
• Orlando Bloom has decided not to appear in the next Pirates of the Caribbean film; because everything "tied up nicely for his character Will Turner." [Daily Mail]
• Farrah Fawcett left her estate — a couple of million dollars — to her son, Redmond, but nothing to her "long-term lover" Ryan O'Neal. [Daily Mail]
• PETA hearts Hayden Panettiere. [Page Six]
• BREAKING: Adrian Grenier buys drinks for ladies. [Page Six]
• Candy Spelling is communicating with Tori Spelling via TMZ now. [TMZ]
• Leslie Mann says being married to Judd Apatow has its perks: "I haven't had to audition in a while. I'm the worst auditioner ever. And no, I didn't have to audition for [Funny People]." [USA Today]
• Michael Jackson's "secret Norwegian love child" claims his mom was employed at Neverland as a nanny; while his dad was a driver. Sing: The kid is not my son. [Daily Mail]
• "Michael Jackson's strenuous rehearsal schedule was causing him to lose 5-6 pounds a day, according to his nurse Cherilyn Lee." [MSNBC]
• Ugh: Seems like Dr. Conrad Murray gave Michael Jackson Propofol, left the room, and when he returned, Michael was dead. He did CPR, but it didn't work. Paramedics wanted to pronounce MJ dead at the house but Dr. Murray wanted him taken to the hospital, where even after doctors gave up, Dr. Murray continued CPR. Strange behavior for a doc. And if all this is true then OK! had a picture of a dead body on its cover. [TMZ, TMZ]
• Dr. Tohme Tohme has revealed that he has turned over "secret" money given to him by Michael Jackson for the purchase of a home in Las Vegas. [Mirror]
• Peter Jackson says he's about 3 or 4 weeks away from turning in a draft of a script for The Hobbit. [LA Times]
• Something about Katherine Heigl and her costar's penis, in that romcom that came in well below the guinea pig movie at the box office this weekend. [E!]
• True Blood season 3 teases at the link. [EW]
• Plus! True Blood video: Anna Paquin, Alexander Skarsgård, and Stephen Moyer speaking in their real accents. [EW]
• For next year, Lost is bringing back characters from season one. "Just trust us," executive producer Carlton Cuse asks. [Reuters]
• Meet the new Real Housewife Of Atlanta: Kandi Burruss. [CNN]
• Protect your ears: Carrie Prejean sings. [TMZ]
• Javier Bardem turned down the role in Oliver Stone's Wall Street sequel, and now Josh Brolin is being offered the part. [Deadline Hollywood]
• "Is John Travolta cracking up? It's not just grief - and guilt - over his dead son that are tearing the actor apart." [Daily Mail]
• Boy George was blocked from becoming a Hare Krishna because of his homosexuality… in the late '80s. [Daily Express]
• It's too early for a Joe Francis video about bribing and girls. [TMZ]
• "Rachel Hunter is leaving Los Angeles and returning home to New Zealand to get over being dumped just weeks before her wedding," [Daily Express]
• Billy Bob Thornton's estranged daughter: Free on bail. [UPI]
• An arrest has been made in connection to the death of American Idol contestant Alexis Cohen. [TMZ]
• Katie "Jordan" Price didn't get a role as a "naturally sexy" large-breasted Irish nanny in the Sex And The City movie sequel. [The Sun]
• Retro gossip: Bob Dylan wanted to make sure he got paid when he did a screen test for Andy Warhol. [Page Six]
• HBO scored highest among 15 networks for its representation of gay characters last season, according to a report released today. [AP]
• "I've hugged those breasts. There aren't many people who can say that." — Allison Janney on Dolly Parton. [Page Six]
• "It feels really good to be able to buy a place by myself. It is time for me to move. I have lived in a condo and it's just time. I've always wanted to buy a big house myself and it is so gratifying to be able to." — Kim Kardashian. [People]
• "Surgery was a success, now I just have to let it heal. I am totally jazzed that they found the problem, fixed it and in about four months my hand will feel like I am 18 again." — Eddie Van Halen. [UPI]
• "I didn't want to act. It wasn't like I was waiting in the wings, like All About Eve. It was a refuge, and I found to my surprise that I liked these people." — Hugh Dancy. [NY Times]
• "Years ago one of my mentors, Orson Welles, told me, 'A career is made not by what you do but by what you don't do.' But so much about these past few years has been about saying yes, and it's really paid off." — Cybill Shepherd, who will play a former witch on the new ABC series Eastwick, based on The Witches Of Eastwick. [NY Times]
• "I always look at a script and say, 'Can I do my thing? Can I pop?' If it's a small part, can I pop, can I make an impact with this part? . . . I don't want to be pegged as something definitive. I want to be chameleon-like." — Kyra Sedgwick. [LA Times]
• "She's so smart we wanted her to find a cure for AIDS or something. We were pretty firm about her finishing her education but when we saw how talented she was we finally said okay." — Blythe Danner on wanting daughter Gwyneth Paltrow to do something other than acting. [Daily Express]
• "I was student council president. I even had my own office. I was a cheerleader, too. I found out about cheerleader camp and heard that there were about six guys and 3,000 girls, so I signed up. It was a precursor for a rock-and-roll career." — what Chris Isaak was like in high school. [WaPo]
• "If we're going to do a Rescue Me movie, and I joked about this a couple of years ago when they brought it up … and I said, 'What if we do a Rescue Me movie, so it's the Rescue Me cast, but they're not firefighters and it's a zombie movie.' And they were like, 'What?' And I was like: 'How cool would that be? It's the Rescue Me cast, but it's a zombie movie.' And they were like, 'No.' And I was like, 'Well, that's the only way I'm doing it.' Like 'Shaun of the Dead, like a funny, real scary zombie movie. … They didn't go for it." — Denis Leary. [UPI]
• "No one in my family watches it. My wife, my mum, my sisters; they've never watched it. I don't think it even occurs to them." — Dominic West, on The Wire. [Telegraph]
• "The No. 1 demographic of high school dropouts are Latino women. I know there are economic factors for why young Latinos are so undereducated, but it also starts with what we place importance on as a culture. We have to empower the next generation to accept education as a way up, and I believe you have to start with the women so they can pass it on to their kids." — America Ferrara, at a commencement speech for Kaplan University. [UPI]
• "I kicked some major butt. It was many, many, hours, days, and months of stunt training and strength training, but it's fun because I had a goal. The goal was the Lycra catsuit." — Scarlett Johansson on preparing for her "unforgiving" Black Widow costume. [People]

[New York, July 20. Image via Getty]

• Curious about the bromance between Tom Cruise and David Beckham? A new book will explain it all to you, including how Beckham decided to name his kid Cruz. [Gatecrasher]

• Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are in Australia, where Tom's been cruising on a billionaire's yacht and Kate took Suri shopping at Target. Yes, Target. [News.com.au]
• Alex Rodriguez and Kate Hudson: Still going strong. [Page Six]
• Emma Watson's dress flew up in London on the Harry Potter red carpet… Her undies were showing and photographers snapped away. [NY Daily News]
• In this interview, a promoter from an Arkansas convention center talks about being duped by Sacha Baron Cohen for a scene in Brüno. "They were clever," she says. "They first contacted us via an intermediary company called Ring Rulers. In this area cage fighting is popular. They told me that they would be doing videotaping for a reality show… At the last minute they started changing the set up. They originally contracted to use our chairs. Then, barely an hour before opening the doors, they brought in their own. These were all literally roped together with wire so you couldn't untie them. As I was leaving at 5pm on the Friday six guys in suits - obviously from Hollywood - marched into my office with a bundle of legal paperwork wanting me to sign a waiver… Beer here is normally four bucks. That night it was a dollar a cup. The production company had paid the difference." There's more. [Telegraph]
• How do we feel about Lindsay Lohan and Christina Aguilera being in the new season of Project Runway? [Mirror]
• Sniff: Ozzy Osbourne's Pomeranian, Little Bit, was killed by a coyote on the grounds of the Osbourne home in Los Angeles. [The Sun]
• Tim Gunn, Debbie Harry and Bill Hader of SNL: All denied entrance to a Fourth of July roof party. [Page Six]
• Here's a breakdown of how the city of Los Angeles spent $1.4 million on the memorial for Michael Jackson. [AP]
• Fans and media have been taking over the streets near the Jackson family home and the Encino Neighborhood Council has released a statement about how residents and businesses need to "take back their streets." [People]
• "Was Jacko in the box? …Some have speculated his body was never in the coffin, and people close to the family say, without elaborating, that the pop idol has already been buried." [NY Post]
• Not sure why, but the media is talking to Heath Ledger's dad in the wake of Michael Jackson's death. "On the day Michael died I spoke to my daughters and former wife Sally, and we all had such a down day," Kim Ledger says. "In the first couple of weeks it's crazy, and you're just trying to come to grips with the enormity of it. It's not for me to advise the Jackson family how to get through this, but what I will say is the saddest times are now, one-and-a-half years later. The media interest has died down, so I'm no longer surrounded by Heath and all I want to do is pick up the phone, but I can't." [MSNBC via Australia's Women's Day]
• Paris Jackson's eulogy made Spike Lee cry. [People]
• Here's a letter Ronald Reagan wrote to Michael Jackson in 1984, after the incendiary Pepsi commercial. [US News & World Report]
• Michael Jackson helped develop merchandise for his This Is It tour, and it will be on sale as soon as this week, at places like Hot Topic, Target, JCPenney and Spencer's. [LA Times]
• Michael Jackson will be buried wearing one white, crystal encrusted glove. [TMZ]
• "Michael Jackson 's family won't bury him without his brain." All I have to add is :( [Mirror]
• Gwyneth Paltrow and George Michael are among the celebrities who were allegedly targeted as part of a newspaper telephone hacking scandal. Someone from tabloid rag News Of The World hacked into their phone lines, as well as Nigella Lawson, Patsy Kensit, Jude Law and Sadie Frost. [The Star]
• Is Kate Gosselin A-list? She has been invited by Maria Shriver to attend the Annual Women's Conference, where she'll rub elbows with Katie Couric, Kelly Preston, Cindy McCain, Elizabeth Edwards and Madeleine Albright. [E!]
• At the Conference for Women, Kelly Preston will speak publicly about the loss of her son, Jett Travolta. [ET, People]
• Oh dear: The Jane Kaczmarek/Bradley Whitford divorce might get messy: She wants full custody of the kids. [TMZ]
• Starting Monday, Drew Barrymore will be shooting her new film — Going The Distance, about a long-distance relationship — at the New York headquarters of the Associated Press. "Real-life newsgathering will continue around her as usual by the AP's editorial staff in the sprawling facility." [AP]
• You know what looks really cool? Drew Barrymore's new flick, Whip It, starring Ellen Page as a roller derby phenom. Pic at the link! [USA Today]
• "Actress Kate Beckinsale accepted 20,000 pounds ($32,000) in libel damages at the High Court on Thursday over a story in Britain's Daily Express newspaper that she was set to miss out on her dream role as Barbarella." [Reuters]
• After 15 years, Nicole Kidman has ditched her publicist. What does it mean? [Deadline Hollywood]
• I'm afraid I must draw your attention to a first-person essay entitled "I Fucked Screech." Quoth the lady in question, "The pillow talk consisted of 45 minutes of [Dustin] Diamond telling me about Adult Swim cartoons." [Videogum, Heeb]
• Jessica Lange may get an Emmy nomination next week for Grey Gardens, but she is also an acclaimed photographer. In this interview, she talks about both. [The Daily Beast]
• Would Rosie Perez play Sonia Sotomayor if asked? "Oh my God, I'd be so honored," Rosie gushes. "There needs to be a fearlessness in approaching that role. That's who she is. Balancing the human being versus the judge is the biggest challenge that would face me personally. But I also think that to play her, you have to dive in and discover her true spirit. Otherwise, don't even fucking go there. Don't even fucking try it. It would be the chance of a lifetime. I'd be right for the role because I'm fearless. I'm afraid of everything and afraid of nothing at the same time." [Gatecrasher]
• Brooke Shields hasn't been in movies for 10 years, but she just signed on to a "live-action family comedy" called Furry Vengeance in which a real estate developer (Brendan Fraser) "gets more than he bargained for from a band of raccoons when he pushes too hard into more pristine territory." Also involved: Dick Van Dyke, Ken Jeong and Samantha Bee. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Hope Davis will play Hillary Clinton in an HBO Films/BBC Films movie called The Special Relationship. Dennis Quaid will play President Clinton. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Pamela Anderson is rumored to be making a cameo in the upcoming Baywatch movie, which will be a "tongue-in-cheek" comedy. Sounds… dirty. [Gatecrasher]
• Edward Furlong: Getting divorced. [People]
• David Alan Grier's wife, Christine Kim: Filed for divorce. [TMZ]
• "Heather Mills has spoken of how much she is enjoying her freedom, insisting she has been 'having a great time' since divorcing Sir Paul McCartney." [Daily Express]
• Paris Hilton is on trial in Miami, being accused of not doing enough to promoto her 2006 sorority flick Pledge This. [Breitbart]
• "MARSHA/JAN LESBIAN AFFAIR A 'JOKE'" [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which television star called off her wedding the night before the nuptials? She changed her mind after having a sexy fling with the best man." [NY Daily News]
• "I think I am just by the sheer fact of my existence. I know that I personally would have loved to have me around when I was a gay teenager. Because when I was a gay teenager there weren't that many openly gay celebrities. And I would have loved to have been like, ‘Wow look at that dude. He's gay. He's REALLY gay. And he's successful and he's not apologizing for that and he seems really happy.' So I hope that though they may not agree with everything I say that I inspire gay youth to be themselves and to say what they think and to be proud of who they are." — Perez Hilton on why he is good for gay America. [EW]
• "I was never at a place where rehab would have been appropriate… Booze was what would make me want to stay out all night and do some blow or smoke a joint or whatever, so shutting that off was key. It's like ketchup and French fries - I don't want one without the other. So that's the moment: Do you want to continue being great at being in your 20s, or do you want to step up and graduate into adulthood?" — Jason Bateman, on getting sober. [MSNBC]
• "I consider her more than a dear friend. I consider her my wife, my sister, my daughter." — Perez Hilton on Lady GaGa. [EW]
• "I got a phone call telling me about it, and then I'm running around like a chicken with its head cut off, yelling, 'Get me a dictionary! It's so typical of something that would happen to me. So mortifying. I'll probably get it fixed, but in the meantime, I'll just say I was putting my own twist on it." — Hayden Panettiere, on her misspelled tattoo. [USA Today]
• "I had to do a scene in a bra and shorts for the first time in two years. On the day of the shoot, I ate a pork burrito, chips and Coke. Afterward, I thought, 'I probably shouldn't have done that.' But whatever." — Blake Lively. [MSNBC Scoop via Glamour UK]
• "Dude, the humor came from the fact that they did a casting call on Craigslist that basically said, 'Come have mock sex with Josh Lucas for $50 and get a film credit.' Literally that's what it was. And like 25 different women showed up." — Josh Lucas, on his gritty new film, Death In Love. [BlackBook]
• "I'm very disciplined for work but I have to be even more disciplined to enjoy holidays. I hide in the bathroom with my BlackBerry. My family always check to see where my BlackBerry is and take it away from me. They get angry with me and my friends do, too – they don't let me take it to dinner. It can be an addiction." — Penelope Cruz. [Daily Express via Psychologies Magazine]
• "I've never been invited to a dinner party - they don't invite vegetarians. When you are eating with friends someone will say, when you're starting to eat, 'So you don't eat fish?' I've been having that same conversation for 40 years! The food [at my restaurant] is amazing! Ninety per cent of the people who go there are meat eaters. They just think the food's great and there's not a bean sprout in sight. I could eat beans on toast every day for the rest of my life, no complaints at all. I'm a buffet kind of person. I'd much rather go in for a buffet, load up my plate, sit down, eat and split, or have a piece of pizza on a doorstep or something. I can't stand fuss." — Chrissie Hynde. [Mirror]
• "I'll be 34 in October. I can't keep getting away with [nudity]. There was so much of it in The Reader because the story required it, but people have seen enough of my bum and my boobs. I have to put them back." — Kate Winslet. [MSNBC Scoop via Harper's Bazaar]

• Looks like Lindsay Lohan's stalking paid off: Her new Twitter message says:

"Leaving London but with my favorite favorite!!!" Then she was photographed at the airport with… Samantha Ronson. And another Tweet from LL reads: "Great news to share!! Maybe .... ;)" [People, The Sun]

• Lindsay and Sam were seen holding hands while walking into the first class lounge. [Daily Mail]
• Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green are finito, which means Megan will have to get that tattoo removed. And! Megan may have hooked up with sparkle vamp Robert Pattinson, after which he blew her off. Dramz! [E!]
• Madonna may be able to adopt Mercy after all?!?! A source says: "The paperwork is being typed up now." [Mirror]
• A "friend" of Madonna's says: "She made a promise that she wouldn't give up on Mercy and, believe me, she could move mountains when she's this determined." [Telegraph]
• By the by, someone has paid more than £15,000 for that lovely Peter Howson painting of naked Madonna and thuggish-looking Guy Ritchie. [The Star]
• Claire Danes and Hugh Dancy: Definitely engaged. [Page Six]
• Hold on to your panties, here are ten life-changing words: Simon Cowell remake of Saturday Night Fever starring Zac Efron. [Telegraph]
• What is Chris Brown afraid of? He's been seen "surrounded by bodyguards" at all times lately — as many as five. [Page Six]
• Miley Cyrus had to say goodbye to her main man, Justin Gaston, because she's heading off to Georgia to film a Nicholas Sparks movie. A post on the 16-year-old's Twitter read: "'my heart is in two... and its all because of you.' a song i am starting to write :)" As for 20-year-old Justin, his Twitter says: "Haven't been this miserable in a looong time." Remember, kids: Absence makes the heart go wander! [Us Magazine]
• What a difference a day makes! Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt now claim that the reports of torture are "false and inaccurate." One thing is for sure: These people know how to get their names in the paper every damn day. [People]
• Oh, God: When the show is over, Heidi Montag will launch a dry-shampoo line. [JustJared]
• A Yankee insider bitches: "First we dealt with all the Madonna mayhem, now we're on to Kate [Hudson]. It's distracting." [MSNBC Sccop]
• Kate Hudson and A-Rod left a club separately so no one would think they'd been together. [Page Six]
• Today in "crazy cat lady" news: Susan Boyle will take her beloved kitty Pebbles with her on tour. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Ugh, if you're interested in this, it's here: David Carradine's ex-wife reveals his "shocking" sex secrets — tying himself up, drowning himself and tattoos and piercings. [Radar Online]
• Kelly Bensimon is off the hook regarding that assault case in which she allegedly hit ex-boyfriend Nicolas Stefanov in the face: the case was dismissed when Stefanov didn't show up to court. [E!]
• More Real Housewife gossip: Countess LuAnn de Lesseps was seen making out wit h a guy in his 20s; Kelly Bensimon was seen nuzzling with Gerard Butler. [Gatecrasher]
• After getting hit by scenery on stage at the Tonys, Bret Michaels suffered a fractured nose and had to have three stitches in his lip. [Gatecrasher]
• Congrats to Gossip Girl's Kelly Rutherford, who gave birth to a baby girl last night. [Radar Online]
• Olympic gymnast and Dancing With the Stars champ Shawn Johnson is mulling an offer to star in a film for kids. [E!]
• David Letterman: About to sign a deal to continue hosting the Late Show for 3 more years. [Reuters]
• On the movie Nine: "'It was an amazing experience,' says Fergie, who plays a prostitute. 'It was all about the character, not about me, so I could gain weight and not be self-conscious about it.'" [USA Today]
• Prince Harry is supposedly dating TV presenter Caroline Flack, and she supposedly calls him by the codeword "Jam," because he's got jam-coloured hair and he's sweet." [The Sun]
• Gossip and rumors from the set of the Robin Hood movie: Russell Crowe and Ridley Scott are "squabbling," ; Crowe had to go on a crash diet to lose 35 lbs because a producer said "We can't have Robin Hood looking more like Friar Tuck" ; they're totally not singing that oo-de-lally song. Boo. [Page Six]
• Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas will leave their home on Bermuda to work on projects: He's starring in a movie about Liberace (?!?!) as well as the Wall Street sequel. [Telegraph]
• Last week, Nadya Suleman bashed Kate Gosselin; this week, she feels bad about it. "I kind of self-reflected on why I did that, and I felt really guilty," Suleman says. "I was annoyed. I was fed up. I was probably misplacing my frustration about all of this invasive media crap onto her." Or: You missed the attention. Just a thought! [MSNBC]
• Canceled NBC show My Name Is Earl might live on — with new episodes on TBS, the network which airs its repeats. [Reuters]
• Househunting in London: Sacha Baron Cohen. [The Sun]
• A hearing date has been set for Howard K. Stern — to determine if he must stand trial for illegally supplying Anna Nicole Smith with prescription drugs. Things begin in August. [Reuters]
• Twilight author Stephenie Meyer has ditched her MySpace account. "It was a lot of fun while it lasted," she wrote on her official website. "With MySpace no longer in existence, I can now clearly state that...there is no other outlet where I communicate with people online," Meyer continued. "I do not have a Facebook page, and I have never had one. I don't do Twitter. So if you're communicating with someone online that you think is me, it's not." [E!]
• Additional Twilight news: Disney star Selena Gomez and hunky native werewolf Taylor Launter: Splitsville. [UPI]
• TV chef Gordon Ramsay called Aussie TV journalist Tracy Grimshaw a pig and a lesbian; she's calling him an "arrogant narcissist." It's a mess. [News.com.au]
• Gordon Ramsay says the insults he made were "blown out of context." [Mirror]
• Kelly Clarkson says she sympathizes with Susan Boyle: "She's from a small town, I'm from a smaller town. You have to focus on the people that are really positive around you. It takes time." [The Sun]
• Liam Neeson is in talks to play Hannibal in the big-screen adaptation of A-team. Bradley Cooper might play Faceman. No word on Mr. T's involvement, but I pity the fool who thinks he can replace him. [Variety]
• Bryce Dallas Howard has written a drama called The Originals, "an ensemble film about a group of twentysomethings who reconvene for a weekend in New York after learning that the teacher who shaped their childhoods has fallen into a mysterious coma." [The Hollywood Reporter]
• The wife of baseball player Barry Bonds has filed for legal separation. [TMZ]
• Phil Spector's wife says he is being treated "worse than an animal" in jail. It's not supposed to be enjoyable… [NME]
• Uh, what? "Children as young as five were 'confused and worried' after teachers played them a recording of Elton John's 'Your Song' in an effort to explain homosexuality." [Mirror]
• A silver menorah which once belonged to Sammy Davis Jr. failed to sell for $9,000 at auction. The Candy Man can't generate cash? [NY Times]
• Blind item! "Which dreamy-eyed actor is embarrassed to admit he's hooking up with a hard-partying starlet?" [Gatecrasher]
• "They wouldn't have my character back on the show. My character was born out of the '90s. It's a different era now." — Andrew Shue won't be on the new Melrose Place. [Gatecrasher]
• "I think I'm either naive or insane to play her - maybe a little bit of both!" — Anne Hathaway on playing Judy Garland on Broadway. [Gatecrasher]
• "Kids are not to be used as weapons. Deadbeat moms that sleep all day, seeking money, attention like 2 do so. Just hurts the kids in the end. Giving birth 2 a child doesn't make u a good mom. Taking care of them, loving them, waking up with them, spending time with them does." — Travis Barker's been Twittering not-so-subtle hints about his feelings towards Shanna Moakler. [Perez]
• "She would have a plan on arrival anywhere and would be carving the best out of life and every situation and every person. She wasn't as much a passenger as I am, which made us great companions in life... because every driver needs a passenger and every passenger needs a driver. So it's a big loss in my life." — Uma Thurman on Natasha Richardson, to Harper's Bazaar UK. [Daily Express]
• "Everybody's making it like there's all this tension, you know, like I stepped away from the band and now they're jealous of me, and look, maybe there is a little bit of that. But some fights aren't really what they seem." — Gwen Stefani on reuniting with No Doubt. [Mirror]
• "It's one thing when you have an infant. But when you have this three-year-old going, 'Mommy, what's the deal?' it's harder. Kingston's whole thing is, 'I need, I need.' He is insane right now. We're just hoping for the best and that he's not going to turn out to be a freak, but we'll see." — Gwen Stefani, on being a working mom. [Mirror]
• "Gwyneth is one of the most intelligent people I know. So motivating her to do something is not the issue. Learning to dance and get that lung capacity and endurance was the hardest part for her. She (complained) about the cardio. To this day, if she at all has had filming days, she'll always do it, but it's like, 'Ugh, we have to do the cardio.'" — trainer Tracy Anderson. [USA Today]
• "I have always carried around in my mind, that he would ultimately be seen as a heroic figure. But I'm maybe kidding myself." — Michael Emerson, aka Ben Linus on Lost. [Mirror]
• "Yes, she's never played a mother and she's playing a mother of three in this movie but that didn't scare me. I knew she was up for it. I'm more proud of her performance in the film than I am proud of things in my life." — Nick Cassavetes on Cameron Diaz in My Sister's Keeper. [Daily Express]
• "Lately, I've been in meetings regarding a new script idea I have. A studio executive asked me to change the female lead to a male, because... 'women don't go to movies.' Really? When I pointed out the box office successes of Sex and The City, Mamma Mia, and Obsessed, he called them 'flukes.' He said 'don't quote me on this.' So, I'm telling everybody." — Nia Vardalos. [HuffPo]
• ''People see me and they're like, 'Oh, you're so much prettier in real life!' And I'm like, 'Well, thanks.' It's definitely narrowed the opportunities, which is a bummer because... I want a job! I didn't enter this biz because I thought I was a supermodel. I entered because I liked finding out what makes people laugh.'' — Rachel Dratch, who doesn't exactly deny the rumor that she was supposed to be on 30 Rock, but the network wanted ''hotter'' actress Jane Krakowski instead. [EW]
• It's hard to believe you're still on the D-list. "I have proof although I'm flattered at the suggestion that I could even be a C-minus. Recently, I was on tour and they delivered me a sandwich and it said Taffy Griffin. Now, I'd like to think that's maybe what they thought my stripper name was, but no. My name was on the marquee. Sold-out show. Taffy Griffin. I'm on the D-list where I belong… What is tough for me as a D-list celebrity is that kind of puts Speidi and me in the same category and that hurts. That's a bitter pill for me to swallow." — Kathy Griffin. [AP]
• "I don't have to defend myself. What can you do against something that is totally different from what you really think? It was hard to live with that, because I'm not the person described in that ridiculous story. I was not happy that this story could hurt people. But I felt sorry for those French journalists-that was the thing. I felt sorry for journalism, in general. We live in a world where there is so much information, but what I said was taken out of context. It's so common for someone who gives interviews to say that, but a cliché becomes a cliché because it's true. Some of it was funny: the part where I thought that man didn't walk on the moon? Man, please! It's so ridiculous… I talked about being fascinated by Internet conspiracies, because they are fascinating. And I asked a question like that: 'Did man walk on the moon?' Because the conspiracies are out there, not because it's a question I believed." — Marion Cotillard, on the statements she made about September 11. [BlackBook]

• Lindsay Lohan had a "meltdown" in a club in London, which involved saying:

"I feel so, like, caged. Totally caged." Then Lindsay tried to curl up in a ball on the floor. According to this report. [Mirror]

• Brad and Angie to wed??? Apparently someone sent Angelina Jolie all the press clippings about her "relationship problems," so she has decided that she and Brad should get married and put an end to the stories. A rumor about a Brangelina wedding circulates pretty much once a year, so perhaps we were overdue. [Mirror]
• BREAKING: Mariah Carey has been "stuffing her face" while making her album. "She has put on about 15 pounds, but she loves the curves," says a "source." [Page Six]
• Uh-oh: Pete Doherty was arrested in Switzerland after being found "slumped" in the bathroom of a British Airways flight with a needle. [Sunday Mail]
• The Slumdog kids danced to the movie's hit song, "Jai Ho," in a Hong Kong shopping mall on Saturday to raise money for charity. According to this report, "They sang off-key but drew an enthusiastic response." [Hindustan Times]
• Heidi and Spencer were "tortured" on I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here, by being held in a dark room with only water, rice and beans. Heidi was rushed to the hospital with what was diagnosed as a gastric ulcer; she has been released. If all of this is part of the Speidi attention machine, it's certainly impressive. [TMZ]
• Spencer claims he was locked up for 3 days with no food or water; producers say it was 8-10 hours max, with food and water. [TMZ]
• This report says Heidi and Spencer were in the Lost Chamber for 14 hours. [MSNBC Scoop]
• The production company behind I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here says that "All allegations of the celebrities being deprived of food and water are completely untrue." [Perez]
• Susan Boyle has signed with Ossie Kilkenny, the manager who made u2 millions. [Mirror]
• Chelsy Davy "can't wait" to see Prince Harry at a party this week. or something, This picture, in which Prince Harry's hand seems to be about to grab Prince Harry's crotch, is distracting. [Daily Mail]
• Even though Christina Ricci has called off her engagement, she and her ex-fiancé, Owen Benjamin, went to the movies Saturday night. [TMZ]
• It's hard to even understand how this is a news item, but here it is: Dancing With The Stars' Cheryl Burke has dropped some "excess" pounds and is "enjoying her new figure." [UPI]
• Brooke Shields and the National Enquirer have reached a settlement over the May incident in which two reporters checked Brooke's mom out of a nursing home to get a story. Also: The mag has agreed to make a generous donation to further research on dementia. [UPI]
• Kirsten Dunst: Returning to the Spider-Man franchise for flick number four. Will there be a Spidey wedding? [E!]
• Will Alec Baldwin, Sarah Jessica Parker, Matthew Broderick and Tommy Mottola all move into the same gorgeous NYC building? [NY Times]
• Cameron Diaz says her costars on My Sister's Keeper helped her deal with the sudden death of her father: "I was really, really fortunate to have these people to come back to." [People]
• The family of David Carradine is asking the FBI to investigate the actor's death. [Us Magazine, People]
• Want details from David Carradine's death? Click away. [TMZ]
• Kate Hudson's mom, Goldie Hawn, is allegedly worried about Kate dating Alex Rodriguez. A source says: "Kate's had a string of boyfriends since her divorce from Chris Robinson and it's always the same pattern – she falls hard and fast, then gets bored or has her heart broken. Goldie hates the idea of seeing Kate getting hurt again." [Daily Mail]
• Katie "Jordan" Price is "drinking heavily, taking sleeping pills and barely eating" since splitting with husband Peter Andre. [Telegraph]
• This report shows Katie "Jordan" Price very calmly shopping with her kids. [Daily Mail]
• Baby-wipes enthusiast Terrence Howard stopped six lanes of traffic in Beverly Hills to save the life of a baby bird. [Page Six]
• Another day, another Kylie Minogue wedding rumor. This time, her man gave her a rose, so, clearly they are getting hitched. [Daily Mail]
• Will Michael Jackson try and turn his London mansion into the new Neverland? [The Sun]
• Jake Gyllenhaal and Anne Hathaway, who were husband and wife in Brokeback Mountain, may reunite in a flick called Love and Other Drugs, an adaptation of Jamie Reidy's nonfiction book Hard Sell: The Evolution of a Viagra Salesman. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• What, what? A film adaptation of Eat, Pray, Love? With Julia Roberts and Javier Bardem? Oookay. [Variety]
• "In a PawNation poll, 70 percent of animal lovers voted Jennifer Aniston as the celeb they would trust to pet sit their furry friend." Mickey Rourke came in second. [E!]
• Patrick Dempsey has a dream, and it involves having a nice bus so he can bring his kids racing with him. [People]
• Composer Benny Andersson of ABBA has contributed one million kronor ($128,000) to the Swedish feminist initiative. [Independent Political Report]
• "She divides her time between California and Colorado, and in both places she lives 'off the grid,' with her own sources of water and power. Her homes are powered by solar panels, her toilets are compost, her cars run on leftover grease from fast-food restaurants […] She wears recycled necklaces made of boiled-down shotgun casings. She has more than 20 animals - horses, alpacas, chickens, dogs, cows - all of which are rescues…" — from a profile on Daryl Hannah. [Guardian]
• In this interview with Harry Shearer, he talks being part of Spinal Tap and The Simpsons. [LA Times]
• James Caan and Scott Caan play father and son in a new film called Mercy. [LA Times]
• Check out a portrait of Sandra Bernhard by Timothy Greenfield-Sanders (and some information about the relationship between the photographer and the comedian) here. [HuffPo]
• Ooky, spooky, kooky: Bebe Neuwirth is working on a play based on The Addams Family. Snap, snap. [Gatecrasher]
• "There is nothing more humiliating for a stutterer than to have their word or sentence finished for them. I didn't have names for these fears." — from "How I Found My Voice," an essay by Carly Simon. [The Daily Beast]
• Evan Dando of the Lemonheads is suing General Motors, saying the company copied one of his songs for an ad. Dude, have you heard? They don't have any money! You're suing the bankrupt. [AP]
• Jon Voight is suing investors who sued him. [TMZ]
• The woman who inspired the Beatles song "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds" is seriously ill. [Newser]
• Blind item! "Which once prominent magazine writer/TV interviewer now appears in elegant homes wearing men's clothes and a fedora? Sighed one jaded observer, 'These days, becoming a lesbian is a career move.'" [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which sexy leading man, known for his wandering eye, recently hooked up with a pouty songstress? The raven-haired rocker is a big change from his usual choice of supermodels." [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which actor is on hiatus due to a drug relapse? He claimed he needed time off because of the heartbreak of his public split, but he's actually headed to rehab." [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which heartthrob actor nearly cried bloody murder when he couldn't get into a private lounge?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I don't know him. I've never really seen him in interviews either. [But] yeah, he's cute. I'm a huge fan of the Twilight series." — Kelly Clarkson hearts Robert Pattinson! And she wrote a song, "Empty As I Am," inspired by the characters, which might make it on to the New Moon soundtrack. [Mirror]
• "I have people coming up to me all the time on the street and saying, 'My daughter's gay; thank you for this.' People send me e-mails like, 'My mother was going to take away my cellphone (and this and that) because I told her I was gay. She saw the movie and now she says she loves me.' It's a very powerful response. I get a lot of questions from people saying, when is it going to go to Ireland, to India…That gives me hope, that it's such a powerful story, being the truth, that it will transcend these other cultures and get Mary's message across." — Sigourney Weaver, on playing Mary Griffith, who attempted to save her gay son's soul by religious means before his suicide. [LA Times]
• "It's a mix of curiosity, fascination, respect and bewilderment. Twitter freaks me out. You have followers? It feels so obsessive and proprietary. It has great applications, and it's effective, I get it. But 'I did something, I did something else, I'm at it again.' Why? I'm still getting over YouTube, people. These breakthroughs are coming at such velocity that before you get your sea legs, there's another wave hitting you." — Mos Def. [USA Today]
• "I think she's much more raw in the third season. You see everything that's happening to her, so you see her more open and vulnerable, though she's being deceptive. You see her really desperate, which is a different side to her. I've been playing the character for so long now it comes naturally. [That allows me] to be more confident, take more risks, go bigger. In my film work, I'm scared to go too big — it's projected on the big screen and what not — but on Big Love, I feel I have a lot more freedom." — Chloe Sevigny on playing Nicolette "Nicki" Grant. [LA Times]
• "When I was a child my parents threatened to send me to a convent. I've often wondered how that would have worked out. I'd have made a terrible nun. I'm a good Catholic girl in the way that Madonna is. In the sense that I'm not that good at all. If the church is having a hard time recruiting nuns, I'd make an ideal poster girl. 'Become a nun or else end up like her!'" — Heather Graham. [Daily Mail]
• "I am who I am-a regular guy with a great job. How I'm analyzed belongs to someone else. In a few minutes, I've got a kid's game to go to, and then I'm taking our daughter to auditions. Today, that's my job." — Denzel Washington. [Reader's Digest]
• "The problem with Harry Potter is that there is so little controversy. It would be so great for the press if one of them would go off the rails and end up in rehab, but they are, actually, just really sweet guys." — Jason Isaacs, who plays Lucius Malfoy. [Telegraph]
• "The moment that changed me for ever ... was becoming a vegetarian aged 17; my whole life changed. I spent a lot of time hanging out in the woods near my house and felt a connection to the birds and trees." — Chrissie Hynde. [Independent]
• "I really wish I could play, but I don't at all." — Princess Beatrice, on polo. [Telegraph]
• "I never said (I wasn't returning). I just said that I'm not sure. It's called, um, 'negotiating.'" — Paula Abdul on whether she'll return to American Idol. [UPI]
• "When people talk about reincarnation, I always feel that if there is such a thing, this is definitely my first time, because I'm always amazed. I'm both amazed at how horrifically we can treat each other and all other living things, and also amazed at the wonder and the beauty. I'm like: 'Oh my God, look at that bird!' or 'Look at that flower!' literally every single day. I can't get over how people are putting so much energy and so many resources into going to Mars when everything we could ever dream of is on this planet, if we just take care of it. What do they have on Mars? They don't even have oxygen up there!" — Daryl Hannah. [Guardian]
• "I can never get close. My No. 1 job is always, always, always stand-up. It has to be a no-holds-barred attitude. Let me give you an example. I met Drew Barrymore a couple times. I went to a party at her house. And she said, 'You know, you should come to one of my small dinner parties, we hate the same people.' But if I'm sitting next to Courtney Love and she falls over, I can't not put it in the act. I'm responsible to my audience the way most people feel responsible to their Lord Jesus." — Kathy Griffin. [LA Times]
• "I learned that when you yell, nobody hears you. The best communicators have to live and present themselves in a peaceful manner. And that's going to be a lifelong quest of mine. I don't have a temper. I've never broken everything. I've never thrown a thing. But I have passion. If I feel passionate, you're going to know." — Rosie O'Donnell. [CBS News]
• "It depends where you are in the world. It's not brilliant here in Britain compared to, for example, Scandinavia – maternity leave and everything is different and they're much more clued in to what parents and children need. We still have quite a lot of Victorian principles hanging on, you can see it and feel it." — Emma Thompson, on Britain not being helpful to working mothers. [Daily Express]
• "I'm taking a year off. That's my birthday present to myself. I'm not going to act, write or anything like that. I'll be a mum, teach drama at my daughter's school, I'll cook meals and have fun, go out with my friends, I'll go to movies and not think about working. I'll see what bubbles up after that." — Emma Thompson. [Mirror]
• "I was insane to go on the Spice tour three months after having [my son]Beau. I wouldn't put myself through it again. At the time I was very self conscious about it all. It was awful. I remember being on stage and going numb and thinking everyone was looking at my body and that it wasn't perfect and I was next to the other girls […] Can you believe [Mel B] does 600 [sit ups a day]? That's nuts. Twenty sit ups and I'm done." — Emma Bunton, aka Baby Spice. [Mirror]
• "I'm convinced he plays for the other team. I even had my gay friends assess the situation" — Bethenny Frankel, joking about her boyfriend, Jason Hoppy. [Page Six]
• "I think what Drew and I found was a connection very similar to the connection between the characters. We adored each other; we played off each other. I can't imagine doing it with anybody else. It's two parts of a whole, really." — Jessica Lange, on Grey Gardens. [LA Times]
• "I'm an awkward kid from Long Island who had a dream about going to New York and becoming an actress. That's who I still am in my core… I fell into this phenomenon. Huge. Huge. This doesn't happen to most people. I'm lucky in that the way I look has never gotten me anything." — Edie Falco. [UPI]
• "I haven't done any exercise since October. I haven't done a thing. So who knows how I'm holding it together." — Kate Winslet. [Daily Mail]

• Contrary to a report in the National Enquirer, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are not splitting up. In fact, they're in love. Imagine that! [Us Magazine]

• Meanwhile, Angelina Jolie has been named by Forbes as the "world's most powerful celebrity," stealing the top spot from (dun dun dun…) Oprah Winfrey.Forbes' Celebrity 100 power rankings are based on a combination of earning power and media exposure, and four out of the top five places are held by female stars: In addition to Angie and Oprah, there's Madonna and Beyoncé. Do it, ladies! [Telegraph]
• Interestingly, Forbes chose Beyoncé as their cover model. Maybe Angelina was too busy making out with Brad? [People]
• The Forbes "Celebrity 100" list is here. [Forbes, Forbes]
• Eminem speaks about the Bruno stunt: "Sacha called me when we were in Europe and he had an idea to do something outrageous at the Movie Awards. I'm a big fan of his work so I agreed to get involved with the gag… After the ceremony I went back to my hotel and laughed uncontrollably for about 3 hours. Especially after I saw it on air." [Rap Radar]
• Power ballad showcase showdown: Jake Gyllenhaal and Zac Efron are "neck and neck" to play the lead in the big-screen version of Broadway's Rock of Ages. [Gatecrasher]
• George Clooney is dating another waitress, this time she's an aspiring model in Miami. She looks really tall! [Janet Charlton's Hollywood]
• Ashlee Simpson "had to be restrained" at an event where she was drunk and told her husband Pete Wentz's ex — Michelle Trachtenberg : "I hope you know, the whole time you were dating Pete, I was fucking him!" [Page Six]
• Did Susan Boyle lose Britain's Got Talent votes due to a YouTube scam? [Telegraph]
• Lindsay Lohan is following Sam Ronson around London, but it seems like every time LL arrives at a club where Samantha is hanging out, Sam leaves. Wonder why? [Daily Mail]
• Oliver Stone and Shia LaBeouf have made a deal: Shia will star in the Wall Street sequel. [Page Six]
• When he's out of town, Kate Hudson watches boyfriend Alex Rodriguez play ball on TV. [Page Six]
• Stephen Colbert will be guest-editing Newsweek's June 8 issue. Is that concept intriguing enough to get you to buy the magazine, at a time when print is flailing? [MSNBC Scoop]
• Oh shit, here comes the Adam Lambert smack-talk. A "source" says: "He is such a diva. Rude to everyone - from fans right down to the lighting folks." Clay Aiken, is that you? [MSNBC Scoop]
• Miley Cyrus fired United Talent, her agency, and will go with CAA instead. UTA had repped her on her Hannah Montana deals, but Miley is probably looking to "grow up." [Deadline Hollywood]
• Oh dear: Christina Ricci and boyfriend Owen Benjamin have called off their engagement, Sad face! In this report is the classic phrase, "They're definitely still friends." [People]
• Kim Kardashian says: "I am not engaged!!! My new publicist was talking with Star Magazine earlier today and accidently referred to Reggie as my fiance so they posted the news on their website! There have been so many rumors flying around recently about Reggie and I being engaged that she assumed we were! So, sorry Star Magazine for ruining your exclusive! It's totally my publicist's fault haha." [Kim Kardashian.Celebuzz.com]
• From a review of Britney Spears' concert in London: "The costumes are pretty skimpy and there's nowhere the set designers haven't contrived to put a pole for her to gyrate around. And yet there's something unsexy about all of it, possibly because there's something weirdly characterless about the woman at its centre: you'd happily trade some of the special effects for the sense of Spears actually engaging with her audience rather than slickly going through the motions." [Guardian]
• Britney's trying to sell her old house — she even dropped the price by about a million dollars — but no one's buying. People! This is the scene of the famous ambulance ride. Surely you want to… Never mind. [E!]
• LeAnn Rimes is accused of "stalking" Eddie Cibrian in the new Us, but in response to that allegation, she says: "You know what, I'm a classy woman, I'm never ever going to battle anything out in the press." And: "I can't control other people but I can control what I say and what I don't. I refuse to get down on any one else's level and I'm going to take the high road on everything." Okay then! [People]
• The stars of The Hangover — Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms and Zach Galifianakis — have a wacky, silly banter off the screen, as well. [USA Today]
• Real Housewives star Bethenny Frankel gave Caroline Kennedy a copy of her book, Naturally Thin. Surely, just what Caroline always wanted. [Gatecrasher]
• Eyeroll: Kristin Cavallari threw glitter at some models during a fashion show in St. Maarten and almost got in a fight, yawn. [Page Six]
• Mel Gibson's divorce — what with the real estate being held in trust for the kids and millions in the bank — is going to be messy. [TMZ]
• Mel Gibson's pregnant ladyfriend has an ex-husband who was married to her for five months. He says: "It's a period of my life that I would rather forget." Asked what his former wife was like, the man sniped, "You should ask all the other men - there were enough of them!" [Daily Express]
• While on break from shooting Dollhouse, Eliza Dushku visited Uganda and met with former child soldiers who are trying to reintegrate themselves back into society. "You learn so much that you would never be able to read in a book ... meeting people and hearing stories firsthand," Dushku says. "I can't bear to hear people say that they're bored in this day and age." [AP]
• Edie Falco says being the star of Nurse Jackie is different from playing Carmela on The Sopranos: "It really feels like changing careers in a way. [Sopranos creator David Chase] oversaw everything; we called him the master cylinder. We all had our input, but it ultimately trickled down to David alone in a room somewhere, I imagined, making all the decisions. I had trust in that. [But at Jackie], they're asking for my input on levels I've never been asked before. That's revelatory for me, and it takes a great deal of chutzpah, confidence, to be able to say that. I really am just an actress." [USA Today]
• Vanessa Hudgens and Mary-Kate Olsen will be in the teen romance film Beastly, a retelling of Beauty and the Beast. [Variety]
• "Stephen Fry and Ricky Gervais defend science writer sued for libel." [Telegraph]
• "Jude Law stuns the critics with a 'lucid, excellent' performance of Hamlet." [Daily Mail]
• Terrence Howard will develop a a TV drama based on the life of undercover LAPD detective Ronald Farwell, who infiltrated the Black Panthers. [Variety]
• Not-so-blind item: "Which rehabbed starlet is back in the tangled web of getting drunk every night?" [Gatecrasher]
• "It was just a comment that you make, the same comment when you're 12. He just made it when he was 38 or however old he is. They had a friend over last night who is gay. I have two gay brothers. It was not done with malice, because I know them. It was a slip of the tongue. His "uh-oh" moment. Let's give Joe his "uh-oh" moment. We all get them. The Joe I know has no phobias, has no discrimination, he has family members that are gay. He has friends that are gay. He welcomes and embraces my two brothers that are gay." — Caroline Manzo, of The Real Housewives Of New Jersey, on Teresa's husband, Joe, calling someone "gaylord." [E!]
• "It did take a lot of work. I thought it was gonna drop off easily because I had been in shape my whole life, but it wasn't. I gained about 50 pounds with my twins, and the first 30 dropped off like that, and I was like, 'Ha, this is gonna be so easy.' That last 20 - that took a while." —Jennifer Lopez, on losing her "baby weight." [Mirror]
• "First of all, you gotta run them around before the bath. Play a game of hide and seek or wrestle or muck around. Then they're exhausted. Then we all fall asleep on the bed!" — Hugh Jackman's secret to getting the kids to go to sleep. [People]
• "I'm reaching out to Susan. She should hook up with me and [Catholic classical trio]The Priests. We would be the world's first gospel supergroup. I think it's horrible people have been making fun of her. Susan just wants to love Jesus and sing – it's cute. Only I can help her out of her meltdown." — Beth Ditto wants to hang with Susan Boyle. [The Sun]
• "Filming a scene that involves being entirely naked and takes a couple days can be a little awkward. Thankfully you're there for so long and you're doing it for so long that you dispense with the awkwardness pretty quickly and start to have mundane, normal conversations – the difference being you're not wearing pants." — Ryan Reynolds, on letting it all hang out in The Proposal. [People]
• "In the movies, you often see the average-looking guy with the incredibly attractive woman. In my movies you see the average-looking woman with the super hot John Corbett. I'm happy to make those movies for all of us women. Guess what? We need people like me on screen. That's what movies are. You go and escape for a sec." — Nia Vardalos, whose directorial debut, My Life In Ruins, opens tomorrow. [LA Times]
• "They are men. They have desires. They have testosterone. If they make a mistake, I'm not going to hate them. I don't think they are above or below being seduced. I would be foolish if I thought that. I pray for them." — Denise Jonas, mother of the Jonas Brothers, worries that your slutty Jezebel lifestyle includes tarnishing her purity-ring wearing sons. [MSNBC]

• Kate Winslet tells Allure that when filming The Reader, she had to regrow her pubic hair:

"Because of years of waxing, as all of us girls know, it doesn't come back quite the way it used to. They even made me a merkin (wig) because they were so concerned that I might not be able to grow enough." [MSNBC Scoop]

• Jon Gosselin speaks! He's on the cover of People, saying, "Eight Enough Is Enough!" [People]
• Kate Hudson and Alex Rodriguez: It's getting serious. How do we know this? A source says: "He introduced her to a bunch of his friends." [People]
• In case you were wondering what Kimora Lee Simmons and Djimon Hounsou named their baby boy, it's Kenzo. Kenzo Lee Hounsou. Has a nice ring to it. [Page Six]
• Uh-oh: Stevie Wonder's son busted for domestic violence? Love's in need of love today. [TMZ]
• Steve Dennis has penned a book titled Britney: Inside The Dream and writes about the pop star shaving her head: "The head-shaving had little do with self-loathing, more a loathing against the public persona that had defined her until then. What few people knew was that Britney was rowing with her mom, Lynne, who seemed to be incessantly reminding her of her motherly duties and responsibilities… The head-shaving moment was the culmination of an escalating rebellion, heightened by heartbreak over her divorce and custody battle, that can be traced back to 2004 when Britney decided she no longer wished to conform, be controlled or take instruction." [The Sun]
• Lindsay Lohan is in London, and her hotel is right down the street from Samantha Ronson's hotel. What a coincidence! Anyway, LL's Twitter said: "Missing a certain someone after a massage and chicken noodle soup... U (she) knows. Cuddle time soon I hope - fly safe." [Daily Mail]
• This was in Midweek Madness three weeks ago, but here it is again: Rihanna has "less than flattering" nude pix of Chris Brown. And plans to leak them. [World Of Wonder]
• Whoops! Melissa Joan Hart was overheard last week saying she hoped Farrah Fawcett wouldn't die — cuz then MJH would get bumped off the cover of People. [Page Six]
• A woman is claiming she was attacked and left "crippled" by Sacha Baron Cohen (as Bruno) at a Bingo hall in 2007. [TMZ]
• This paper is restrained and not at all sensationalist when it prints the words: "CANCER-stricken MICHAEL JACKSON is shunning food and now weighs less than nine stone (126 lbs.)" [The Sun]
• Leonardo DiCaprio got carded at some bar in NYC. Guess they didn't hear he's king of the world? [Page Six]
• Taylor Lautner, who gets all werewolfy in Twilight sequel New Moon, says the flick is heartbreaking: "There is heart break and, oh it's horrible. New Moon will rip your heart to shreds. So get ready!" [Mirror]
• Is Audrina Patridge dating Star Trek's Chris Pine? And does that mean their relationship will be on her new reality show? "There's always romance, she says. "We haven't started filming it yet, but it will be mostly my life. I'm really opening up in everything that I have going on in my life right now-everything." [E!]
• LOL: NBC wants to replace Heidi and Spencer on I'm A Celebrity with someone else from The Hills, but Audrina's manager said: "Not in a million years. Audrina is moving in a completely different direction than those two ... she's a star." Again: LOL! [TMZ]
• Slumdog Millionaire director Danny Boyle may return to work in Mumbai; he has purchased the rights to another book set in the poorest section of the city. [Times of London]
• Paul McCartney will play the first concerts at Citi Field, "inaugurating" the Shea Stadium replacement. He says: "As years go by, I think, 'This is when I thought I'd retire,' but I'm having too much fun. When you say to me 'Citi Field,' I go oooh inside. I'm hungry for that. If you like cheesecake, it doesn't matter how many you've had. You're still going to have the next one with relish." [USA Today, USA Today]
• Eminem had thousands of dollars worth of items stolen from his L.A. hotel room on Sunday night, including a $60K diamond necklace and his personal laptop. Hmm, it's not like he has any enemies… [Gatecrasher]
• If you'd like to relive some of Eminem's most controversial moments, by all means, check out this slide show. [CNN]
• Maya Rudolph, who plays a thirtysomething, six-months-pregnant woman in Away We Go — and is now expecting her second child — says the movie deals with the way people treat expectant women: "It's about people's feeling of wanting to be connected. It just doesn't come out the way it's supposed to: 'Oh, God, you're huge.' I think the last person who wants to hear they're huge is a pregnant lady." [USA Today]
• Susan Boyle could need weeks of psychiatric care. [Daily Mail]
• "Susan Boyle is to Britain's Got Talent what the kids of Slumdog Millionaire are to director Danny Boyle. In both cases, a machine bigger than any one person got these unknowns into the mess that comes with worldwide fame. Wouldn't it seem wrong for Cowell (or Danny Boyle) to stand by as the dreams of the performers they discovered were beaten to a pulp and left on the side of the road to die?" [MSNBC Scoop]
• R. Kelly has a new track called "Tip The Waiter, which you can hear at the link. It's not about leaving cash for the server — it's about sex. Obviously. [NY Mag]
• Jude Law is playing Hamlet on the stage in London, and one of his costars — the skull he holds when he gives the "Alas, poor Yorick" speech — comes from Salt Lake City, Utah and dates back to 1800. [Telegraph]
• American Beauty's Wes Bentley is divorcing Jennifer Quanz, his wife of seven years. [TMZ]
  
• Sanaa Lathan, James Earl Jones and Phylicia Rashad will star in an all-black production of Cat On A Hot Tin Roof, to be staged on London's West End. [Variety]
• Jack Nicholson is in talks to join the cast of an untitled romcom with Paul Rudd, Reese Witherspoon and Owen Wilson; Bill Murray had also been considered for the part. [Variety]
• DMX: Almost always in jail! Eight days after he was released, he pled guilty to another crime, so he may be headed back. [TMZ]
• "Trista Sutter Blogs About The Bachelorette: Foot Fetishes, Unicorns & the Closet?" [E!]
• Recently married former Bachelorette Jen Schefft to single ladies: "For all those people who are discouraged, you can meet the right person. Just don't settle." [People]
• Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos are producing a TLC series, Masters Of Reception, which focuses on a New Jersey family-owned catering business trying to top themselves each week. [Variety]
• Kelly Ripa's dad is being sworn in as Camden County clerk in New Jersey today. [AP]
• Phil Spector's wife, Rachelle, insists that he in innocent, and plans to stay with him even though he's in jail for shooting another woman. [UPI]
• "Peter Falk's dementia means he no longer remembers Columbo." [Daily Mail]
• Blind item! "Which macho A-list actor was annoyed to find pressat a recent gala because he hadn't "put on [his] makeup yet'?" [Gatecrasher]
• "In a strange way, I don't have a job, so I have a lot of time on my hands. When I do work, it might be very concentrated, and it might be months where you're not really doing anything except maybe playing the banjo or writing something. You know, there's a lot of time in the day if you're not working 9 to 5. […] I use the Internet a lot to find music. I always download it legally — especially my own songs." — Steve Martin. [CNN]
• My most memorable scene? I have to say I'm still proudest of the stuff I did on "Fight Club," mainly the opening title sequence. It's a 95-second pullback through the brain. It starts inside a synapse inside the amygdala, the fear center of the brain. It goes through various structures, a forest of neurons and dendrites, passing through various outer layers, the surface of the brain, layers of skull, then skin and a hair follicle and out to the barrel of a gun, essentially following Ed Norton's character's thoughts." — Visual Effects Supervisor Kevin Mack. [LA Times]
• "Emma and I are creatively married. It's an extraordinary feeling when we work together. I don't think we – or, I'll speak for myself, I – have ever done anything closer to myself than the work I do with her. Marriage should be this easy! Right?" — Dustin Hoffman on Emma Thompson. [Telegraph]
• "This is a huge honour. I am both thrilled and slightly mystified, but very grateful." — Michael Sheen, who played Tony Blair in The Queen and just was made an officer of the Order of the British Empire (OBE). [Daily Express]
• "When Obama's story is ready to be told I'll be too old to do it. And if it were made now, he has too much to do to have me asking for tips on how to play him." — Denzel Washington seems a little sad, no? [Daily Express]
• "I'm trying not to think of it as big or meaningful in any way. I find the whole celebration of approaching death a peculiar thing… I remember, I made a pact with some friends when we were 18 that we'd kill ourselves before we got to 40. It just seemed such a ludicrously distant prospect. I think I'd say that you'll never think you know more or feel more acutely or have any clearer an insight into existence than you do right now. From now on it's a gradually descending mist of confusion and doubt. I've never known less than I know now. You hope that your teenage self would like and forgive your 50-year-old self. It would be awful to think that they'd be ashamed and appalled – that you were a betrayal of everything they thought they'd become." — Hugh Laurie, who is on the verge of turning 50. [Telegraph]
• "Feminists don't have a sense of humor/They have a tumor on their funnybone." — from a song by Nellie McKay. [Page Six]
• "I don't think about that. That's beyond what I can control, and who the hell knows? I'm getting ready for another movie now." — Christian Bale doesn't want to talk about Terminator sequels. [Mirror]
• "The vampire is the ultimate bad boy. The vampire is the ultimate anti-everything. I haven't read Stephenie Meyer's books; the last encounter I had with the romantic vampire was with Anne Rice, and it was essentially 'beautiful people of the night.' But the line between attraction and horror is very, very thin. When you see footage of a polar bear walking in the snow, your heart melts. And then seconds later when you see the same polar bear mauling a baby seal, you can be horrified. And I don't see why these aspects of life cannot be reconciled." — Director Guillermo Del Toro, who has written a vamp book called The Strain. [Time]
• "I don't think I look particularly fantastic. I know you're not supposed to drink caffeine and I know you're not supposed to drink wine but I do both. I could be much thinner if I really worked at it. But there was a time when I was exercising a lot and then I realised that the person I was spending the most time with was my trainer. I thought: 'I don't have time to see my friends!"" — Julianne Moore. [Daily Express via Vogue]