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Warning: Obama's Letter To Malia & Sasha May Inspire Spontaneous Ovulation

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Helen Skor
01/14/09

In reply to Warning: Obama's Letter To Malia & Sasha May Inspire Spontaneous Ovulation
My dad never left me notes or wrote me letters, but even when we couldn't stand looking at each other for another second, I knew he loved me. And he still does - it just seems like it's a lot easier for him to tell me now that I'm not some overly emotional tweener NIN-listening pre-menstrual basketcase anymore. :-)
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Helen Skor
01/14/09

@Helen Skor: But I do still listen to NIN.
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ellaesther
01/14/09

@Helen Skor: Phew! Cause that's not something you should lose to maturity.
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mangiotutto
01/14/09

In reply to Warning: Obama's Letter To Malia & Sasha May Inspire Spontaneous Ovulation
My dad has always left me non-sticky post-it notes. Now when I visit he leaves them in my suitcase so when I get home I find a number of them in between things. When he can't leave me a post-it he sends me emails, some of which just say "I love you". I have continued the sentiment and always leave my boyfriend notes. Last time I went back State side I left him a note in each shirt pocket for every day I would be gone.

You can never tell someone enough how you feel.
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Mdmrptr
01/14/09

@mangiotutto: If I leave for work before GirlRptr wakes, I leave her a (usually heart-shaped) sticky note: "Learn a lot today." "Smile! It's Friday!" "You're my sunshine", etc. etc.
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ellaesther
01/14/09

@Mdmrptr: I used to send notes in my son's lunch box every once and awhile, until he got to be in 3rd grade and they embarrassed him -- which, sweetly enough, he felt really bad about telling me. So now every once and awhile, I send a small piece of paper with a corner folded down. He knows what it means!
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Remedios Varo can't see no huevos.
01/14/09

In reply to Warning: Obama's Letter To Malia & Sasha May Inspire Spontaneous Ovulation
My dad has never written me anything, but I'm kind of thankful for that because his handwriting only comes in two styles: his signature and ALL CAPS.
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shorty63136
01/14/09

In reply to Warning: Obama's Letter To Malia & Sasha May Inspire Spontaneous Ovulation
My dad's letters (circa 2002):

"Kid - take out the trash. And call your grandma.

- Dad"

My dad's texts (a week and a half ago):

"Haaappyyyyy New Yeeeeeaaaarrrrrr!!!! At the bar with your uncle. Left what's-her-name at home. HA! Call me later!"

(What's-her-name is not my mom)

Freakin frat boy...
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Aesop's Foibles. YES.
01/14/09

In reply to Warning: Obama's Letter To Malia & Sasha May Inspire Spontaneous Ovulation
Aw. Just when I think I cannot possibly love our new Prez any more.....those little girls are so, so lucky. The whole dad/daughter relationship thing is a subject near to my heart. Back when I was a hrrid teen, my dad and I had no relationship whatsoever. We avoided eachother whenever possible and did not talk to eachother at all. He and my mam split up for a while because he couldn't deal w/me and sis and it tore my mam up something fierce. After an awful year of this, my dad came back and promised us he'd try his best to be our dad again. Eventually I grew up and began to see astonishing similarities between dad and me and we got along better and better. These days, we'd both say that we are cut of the same cloth. He's the one who recognized his alcoholism in me and helped me realize that I had a problem. He counseled me and told me he knew I was strong enough to get through all the shit I'd mired myself in, and he was right. Anyway, now that I've moved out, we write letters to eachother a few times per month (he calls them Poppygrams!) but we assume fictitious names on the envelopes because we find this hysterical. He's been known to include a drawing or two also, my favorite was a self-portrait of him smoking a cigar. I've kept each and every one of his notes and letters. If it weren't for him, I really don't know what would have become of me, honestly. I'm gonna go call him now.
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Interrobanging
01/14/09

In reply to Warning: Obama's Letter To Malia & Sasha May Inspire Spontaneous Ovulation
I wish my dad would write me a letter that simply said "I love you." Since we've lived together my whole life and the man has never once uttered those words..off to go cry now.
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Kivrin
01/14/09

@It's Just the Way I Smile,She Said: Aw, I'm sorry sweetie. Just so you know, sometimes "I love you" is accompanied by manipulation and ridiculous expectations and verbal abuse and all sorts of other bad things. So don't feel like you're missing out on too much.

/attempt at dark humor to make you feel better
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theysaidwhat
01/14/09

@It's Just the Way I Smile,She Said: I hope that he is good to you in other ways!

Tim Russert did an interview about his dad and he said ( I think) that his dad didn't say it either, but Tim knew he loved him by how hard he worked and how carefully he was managed by his dad. His Dad did the really important things that Dad's are supposed to do--keep a roof over your head, clothes on your back, correct you when you're misbehaving. Those are the only ways that some Dads can communicate their love. I hope that is true of your Dad--that he is getting the Big Stuff right and just can't say it.

But yeah, Damn it would be nice to hear it spoken or see it written. ((((It's Just The Way)))
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ellaesther
01/14/09

In reply to Warning: Obama's Letter To Malia & Sasha May Inspire Spontaneous Ovulation
All right, chiming in with my own sad tale.

My dad died when I was a baby. I grew up knowing that he loved me and tossed me in the air and was an all around really wonderful person, but that damn cancer, it'll get you no matter how wonderful you are. He never did write anything to us, though, I think because this was 1965 and people didn't so much talk about the fact that they were dying then. My mother says they never talked about it, in fact, and that just breaks my heart.

I spent years searching for him in a variety of ways, and finally reached a point of some peace which entailed (I think) my letting him move on and up (in part because of something Bono said about a song in a concert film that I watched at the Cleveland Rock n Roll Hall of Fame while pregnant with my own daughter. Oh life, you're never anything but silly).

But my point, if I have one other than just wanting to say all of this (and thank you Jezebel for being a place where one can) is: Yes. Write letters, or emails, or journal entries, funny or serious or nonsensical or doodle-filled. But give your kids something in their hands from you that is filled with your love, however you express it. Because it will mean the world.

And yes I have tears streaming down my face, why do you ask?
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badmutha
01/14/09

@ellaesther: Love to you sweetie. It is hard to reach that peace. So glad you have a child of your own now to love deeply.
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dianersb was bit by a zombie
01/14/09

@ellaesther: That was beautiful. Now I'm crying. *hugs*
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Kivrin
01/14/09

@ellaesther: Aw, sweetie. *hug* I know your daughter is gonna know how much she's loved, today and always!
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ellaesther
01/14/09

@badmutha: @dianersb: @Kivrin: Aw man, you guys! I just stepped (toggled) away to actually work, involving writing about something really, really heartwrenching and I come back to all this love. Thank you very much. It's been an emotional week or two, and when you throw in how much the President-elect loves him mom and his girls and makes me wish I'd gotten to know my dad? Well! It's just weep city.

Anyway. Thank you!!
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Helen Skor
01/14/09

@ellaesther: I managed to get through two pages of comments without so much as a sniff, and then I get to this one. Damn you. Now my boss is going to stick his head in and ask me why I'm crying and I'm going to have to come up with something better than "this girl on the internet was talking about her dead father" or he's going to know that 1) I was not actually doing work, and 2) I'm about to start my period.
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ellaesther
01/14/09

@Helen Skor: Hey, I live to serve! "this girl on the internet was talking about her dead father"! - I can't explain it, but that really, really cracks me up. (And do we live together? Because me, too, with the period. Probably didn't help me with this thread either).
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lalaland13
01/14/09

In reply to Warning: Obama's Letter To Malia & Sasha May Inspire Spontaneous Ovulation
The "I love you more than you can ever know" part? That kind of love is what almost makes me want to be a parent. Yet I'm not sure if I can, because the idea of loving someone that much also scares me out of my mind.
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Majrhoulihan
01/14/09

@lalaland13: I am starting to get that love feeling for children I don't even have. HYPOTHETICAL children. Like, I can imagine having that love that is so overwhelming it's painful for a little someone. I think that's what a biological clock sounds like.
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badmutha
01/14/09

@lalaland13: It is the best thing in the world to love that much. Trust. It will be the most wonderful thing you have ever known.
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MissyMcCLung
01/14/09

@badmutha: Seconded. Don't be scared, it is the bestest most beautiful feeling in the world.
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Kivrin
01/14/09

@lalaland13: The idea of it scares me to death, too!
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bowleserised
01/14/09

In reply to Warning: Obama's Letter To Malia & Sasha May Inspire Spontaneous Ovulation
The comments here... hey there's enough to start a website and get a book deal! Jess? Doree?

I'm looking forward to Obama being president but this is really cringey. I'd rather see what he actually does and achieves in office, and *then* get excited.
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Grim Reaper of the Forest
01/14/09

In reply to Warning: Obama's Letter To Malia & Sasha May Inspire Spontaneous Ovulation
My dad, though very literate, is not the letter-writing type. He does forward me news stories all the time. I guess, as an ex-reporter, that is how he shows his love. Also, his face lights up and his eyes tear up every time I come home for a visit, so I know he loves me.
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sin4zin
01/14/09

In reply to Warning: Obama's Letter To Malia & Sasha May Inspire Spontaneous Ovulation
ya, I get about 27 one minute phone calls a month from dad.
Hi honey
I only have (X amount of minute left) (trac phone)
Just wanted to see how you're doin
Love you now
Bye
I don't get a word in edgewise
Ugh...
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theysaidwhat
01/14/09

@sin4zin: You reminded me of a tradition in my family that was started by my Dad's mom. If you have traveled to visit a relative, you have to call that relative when you return home safely and let the phone ring exactly three times. They won't pick up, you simply hang up after 3 rings. That way the message gets through without those long-distance charges! LOL
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pantaloons
01/14/09

In reply to Warning: Obama's Letter To Malia & Sasha May Inspire Spontaneous Ovulation
Sigh. My dad wasn't the greatest dad so it's probably better that he left, but this whole thread makes me feel like I really missed out.
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angelina jolie-laide is a gaudy tulip
01/14/09

@dewdropper: Me too. Well, he's still around physically but is quite emotionally unavailable.
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Bunny_of_doom
01/14/09

In reply to Warning: Obama's Letter To Malia & Sasha May Inspire Spontaneous Ovulation
I'm getting a bit misty eyed here reading about everyones fathers writing them letters. My dad has never written a letter. He'll respond to texts and maybe an e-mail every once in a while.

But I do know I'm loved; I had to go into the hospital once in 7th grade due to a major panic attack. According to my mom he peeled out of work and sped to the hospital with lights and sirens to make sure I was okay. Okay, now I'm teary.
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dianersb was bit by a zombie
01/14/09

In reply to Warning: Obama's Letter To Malia & Sasha May Inspire Spontaneous Ovulation
My dad's emails go a little something like this:

Daughter,

The Red Sox got Smoltz. I hope he shores up the pitching rotation. We'll see. Pitchers and Catchers report on Valentine's day. Counting down...

Love, Dad.
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Kivrin
01/14/09

In reply to Warning: Obama's Letter To Malia & Sasha May Inspire Spontaneous Ovulation
I'm glad to see so many of you here with fond memories of your "letters from dad" (and your fathers in general). Most fond memories of my own father -- both of my parents, actually -- have been overwritten by more recent memories of their increasingly irrational and abusive behavior, to the point where I actually had to cut off contact with them entirely.

Not trying to be Debbie Downer...I'm genuinely pleased to see that so many of you apparently have warm relationships with your dads. Makes me happy for you, but also helps me remember why I can't have a relationship with my unfortunately crazy family. Sometimes I need a reminder to keep me strong/sane.
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dianersb was bit by a zombie
01/14/09

@Kivrin: I understand, because, while my dad and I get along fairly well (if we're talking about sports or home improvement projects), I have absolutely no relationship with my mom (even though she and dad are still married), so I get morose around Mother's Day and whenever people talk about how great their relationship with their mother is.
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ellaesther
01/14/09

@Kivrin: Aw honey. You do what you need to do. It sounds like you've made some really good decisions about your own life (not least the fiance who I will now and forever think of as being Noobian), and I hope you're proud of that.
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Kivrin
01/14/09

@dianersb: That's actually very cool of your dad for being able to handle that kind of relationship. I tried to do that with my dad, as my mom's craziness was/is the major problem...but dad apparently couldn't handle having a relationship with me that excluded his batshit crazy wife. So, good for your dad! (And sorry about your mom -- I feel your pain!)

@ellaesther: Thanks dearie. I do feel pretty proud of myself. Also helps that my best friend's mom says, every time she sees me, "What the hell is wrong with your parents, honey? You're a dream daughter!" She's great. :)
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