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Posts Tagged “

albania

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crappy hour

Does Karl Rove Covet Barack Obama's Beautiful Debutante Wife?

“Even if you never met him, you know this guy. He’s the guy at the country club with the beautiful date, holding a martini and a cigarette that stands against the wall and makes snide comments about everyone who passes by." That, we're pretty sure you've heard already, is Karl Rove's gimlet eyed character assessment of Barack Obama. And we read some wild things in today's papers, like David Brooks' assertion that the steadfastness and strength of character of Bush and his so-"dubbed" "bad guys" is why we're winning in Iraq, or James Dobson on Barack Obama's secret plan to co-opt the Bible to peddle his fruitcake scheme to kill tiny babies or Don Imus on how he really isn't racist, he just can't stop making sarcastic racist jokes, but whatever; let's get back to the country club. I think we all know what Karl Rove is getting at here: he has the hots for Barack Obama's beautiful, radical, black separatist wife. I mean, duh. In other news, did you know Bill Clinton's speeches were actually more dumbed-down than Bush's? And a very brief history of presidential Dirt Off Shoulder moments since Man In The Arena, with me and Megan, if you jump. More »

10:30 AM on Tue Jun 24 2008
By Moe
2,987 views, 110 comments

Latest by n/a: Is it a sign of how immune I've become to Karl Rove's offensiveness that the thing that bothered me most about his comment was the misplaced modifier? Like wait, the cigarette is standing against the wall? Or maybe subconsciously Karl more »

crappy hour

And The $300 Million Defense Contract Goes To...The 22-Year-Old Abusive Boyfriend Who Never Had A Job!

Do you ever wonder, where do the weapons our Pentagon is buying to supply the Afghan counterinsurgency actually come from? Well, duh, China, but, let's start over. Meet Efraim Diveroli. He has some sort of $300 million Pentagon contract to supply ammunition to the government. He also has: never had a real job, a drinking problem, a woman with a restraining order against him, a beautiful headquarters in the heart of Miami Beach, a 25-year-old VP whose only certification in anything is that he is a licensed masseur, and wiretaps of him talking about bribing the Albanian defense department by sending him whores. And all of this makes sense because Efraim Diveroli is 22 YEARS OLD. Yeah, we talked about our allies in Pakistan and John McCain, Chelsea Clinton and that douchebag who asked her about Monica, polling data, where that Bosnia story really came from, Donald Trump, corporate profits and our hangovers — oh and don't miss the riveting discussion of our Facebook horoscopes and Diddy and Tupac— but shit gets really epic when Glamocracy's Megan and I get down to...which under-25 year old Israeli mob arms dealer we'd rather get down with! Jump. More »

10:00 AM on Thu Mar 27 2008
By Moe
13,076 views, 151 comments

Latest by That_little_attention_whore: @thefrontpage: LOL @ Mr. Magorium's Magic Emporium. Seriously tho - love Natalie's hair in that movie. Thinking of getting mine cut like that. (Now it's a bit more Posh Spice. Yeah, that's right, I have a Posh Spice hair cut and more »

krazy kommunists

"Sworn Virgins" Miss The Sweet Embrace Of Former Stalinist Dictator

In the rural mountains of Albania, "sworn virgins" — women who take a vow of celibacy in order to be afforded the same privileges as men — are dying out thanks to the introduction of capitalism and democracy. The tradition of "sworn virgins" is an ancient one in the Balkans, and derives from something called the law of the Kanun of Lek Dukagjin. The law decrees that women are the property of their fathers until marriage, and that's when they become the property of their husbands. Becoming a sworn virgin means you are allowed to own yourself, though you also have to renounce your femininity along with your sexuality. According to the Times of London, "The women cut their hair short and wear baggy men's clothes. They walk like men and talk in a deeper voice." On the upside, they get to be responsible for the family wealth. Even during the malicious reign of Stalinist dictator Enver Hoxha, being a sworn virgin was better than being a run-of-the-mill woman for some. More »

5:00 PM on Mon Jan 7 2008
By Jessica
6,693 views, 32 comments

Latest by n/a: This phenomenon is explored at length in the awesome 1994 story "The Albanian Virgin" by Canadian fiction genius Alice Munro. It was the first thing I read by Ms. Munro, and I went on to read everything she has ever more »