Match.com enthusiast Martha Stewart cannot, for the life of her, remember why she didn't try to go down to Pound Town back in her days as a preppy young thing who worked at a pastry shop outside a Ralph Lauren store in Connecticut and occasionally sold Hubbell Gardner scones or whatever. Lady, I feel THAT.

Pippa Middleton's been hanging out in New York with Andre Balazs and Roger Federer but, ultimately, the highlight of Pippa's stay here came when she and Chace Crawford "didn't party together, but spoke for 10 minutes." About what? About conditioners?

The good news is that we've transitioned into the Overanalysis of Interviews post-mortem phase of the Robert Pattinson/Kristen Stewart infidelity drama (alias Sparklegate), which means we are one step closer to hearing nothing more about it, ever again. The bad news is that a moment in K-Stew's pre-cheating scandal…

All those Antique Roadshow marathons seem to have poured some glitter gas back into Robert Pattinson's PR sparkle tank and gotten him through two major New York appearances. First, Rob visited Jon Stewart, who played a spirited round of Very Concerned Camp Counselor on the Daily Show. ("What are we doing here? Are you…

The plot thickens: pastry-breasted recent divorceé Katy Perry has invited her friend Robert Pattinson, cuckold, to "take a break" with her. A source says, "Katy has been a rock for ­Rob. She has reassured him she is very much there for him just as he was for her when she split from Russell." Reportedly Kristen Stewart has…

In shocking "Hey, Not Everybody Raises Their Kids How I Want to Raise My Kids" news, Alanis Morissette is the most recent celebrity to endorse attachment parenting, saying that she will breastfeed her 17 month-old son as long for as long as he continues to want to be breastfed. Additionally, she practices a skin-on-skin…

It appears the time has come for every celebrity mother to take sides in the attachment parenting debate. Today Alanis Morissette planted herself firmly in "very attached" territory by saying she still breastfeeds her 16-month-old son Ever and won't stop until he asks her to. She thinks it's going to save her on therapy…

At the Moscow premiere of Men in Black 3 (hhhhhhh), a male Ukrainian reporter tried to kiss Will Smith on his male mouth. Chaos ensued! In video footage, Smith responds, "What the hell is your problem, man?" then backhands the reporter right across the face. Smith then says, "He's lucky I didn't sucker punch him." Now, a…

From Mr. Play It Safe (who was afraid to fly) to a black fly in your chardonnay, the following is a graphical representation of the examples of irony listed in Alanis Morrisette's hit song from 1995, "Ironic." It figures.

• Following an investigation sparked by footage from Teen Mom, Amber Portwood has been charged with two felony counts and one misdemeanor for allegedly beating her boyfriend Gary Shirley in front of their daughter.