• Courtney Love is making vicious accusations via Facebook, and both Edward Norton and Britney Spears are involved.

In one message, Courtney writes (and consider there to be a giant [sic] after everything):

IF something happens to me, NO my will is NOT at Greenberg Glusker, that will is FORGERY…i created a new one per lISA FERGUSONs attorney who cannot be FOUND but that needs altering as it has Edward in it and Norton doesn't have a CLUE how evil his own BM is he wont fuck a future Senator/Film Actor … i m shcoked at myself i never kiss and tell unless im really mad at an ex for like LOSING 300,000$ of my kid hes supposed to be paternal abouts money, oh yeah Norton just LOST 300k

As for Britney, Courtney says:

britneys dad molested her , imagine the father that molested you owning you for slavery while your forced to sing songs picked for thier sexual content every night, insane right? i have it on First had authority, and fight as hard as she is and does she still didnt pull that card, its a pride thing i can relate to, However they want to play dirty, lets go, Im SO not affraid of the little trolls who hit this when i was fucked up who are called lawyers. lets GO.

Um… yeah. Shit. Speechless. [Movieline]

• In other news, Courtney Love to her band to a strip club and left them there. [Page Six]
• We've heard Britney Spears wants to get married again, but have we heard this? A source says: "She is in love with the idea of marriage. She has been married only twice, but has proposed to many more." [MSNBC via News.com.au]
• The White House state dinner was star-studded! In attendance: Producers David Geffen and Jeffrey Katzenberg, directors Steven Spielberg and M. Night Shyamalan, actor Blair Underwood and actress Alfre Woodward. Plus: Deepak Chopra and journalists Sanjay Gupta, Katie Couric, Fareed Zakaria, Robin Roberts and Brian Williams. And Jennifer Hudson performed! My last dinner party involved plastic cups and white zinfandel. [UPI]
• If something is really good, Rihanna calls it "barf." "Usually it's ‘ill' or ‘I want to throw up on it," she says. "But barf is the worst," meaning the best. "Barf is 10 out of 10." [NY Times]
• Damn: Rihanna is getting paid $500,000 to to perform at a New Year's Eve party at the Emirates Palace Hotel in Abu Dhabi. Can she wear that white Fifth Element bandage jumpsuit in the UAE? [Page Six]
• Things are heating up between Emma Watson and her Spanish rock star. [Telegraph]
• Usher is dating a record exec — named Grace Miguel — who used to work at the label he's signed to. And, shocker! Grace and Usher's mom, Jonetta, do not get along. Sound familiar? The same thing happened with Usher's wife, Tameka Foster. [Gatecrasher]
• Here's a happy Thanksgiving: Ellen DeGeneres gave an out-of-work mom from the Bronx $10,000 and a new car. [NY Daily News]
• Donny Osmond won Dancing With The Stars. Then there was a fire on the set. [People]
• DWTS judge Carrie Ann Inaba is having surgery: "I have arthritis. The space around my spinal cord has become compressed," Inaba explains. "I have been locked. My neck was so stiff. We're hoping this procedure will relieve that." [People]
• The pyramid design of Lady Gaga's Heartbeats headphones was inspired by her fashion choices when growing up: "I wore studded leather jackets, me and my friends in New York. Lifestyle, grit, passion and love for music, freedom. These were the things I thought about when we were designing [the headphones]." [People]
• Beyoncé just finished her tour, and told the crowd at her last stop — in Nottingham, England — that she hopes to see them all in a year with a new album. Work work work! [Reuters]
• Jennifer Lopez's ex-husband, Ojani Noa, admits he's tried to sell footage of himself and La Lopez from their time together, but it's not sleazy: "They think I have a sex tape with her and that I'm trying to sell it. My tape is from our honeymoon, the wedding, us hanging out. There's no nudity-maybe one spanking. There's moments of her fighting with her mom...couples having fun and kissing. If someone has a sex tape, it's not me." [E!]
• Congrats to Alan Cumming, who was made an Office of the British Empire at Buckingham Palace on Tuesday. The Scottish-born actor and gay rights advocate reportedly dressed in tartan head-to-toe for the occasion. Must find pix! [UPI]
• American Idol season 3 contestant Jon Peter Lewis (who?) has issues with Adam Lambert's AMA performance: "All this nonsense about Adam Lambert's whole project being art is bogus. That idea is absurd. It's like calling Thomas Kinkade art. What a sham." [Us Magazine]
• Melissa Etheridge has advice for Adam Lambert: "Don't believe everything they say. Stay true to yourself. The only person who can answer what you should do is  yourself. Love yourself. You will hear as many people praise you as you will hear them tear you down." [E!]
• Rosie O'Donnell was asked if she's enjoying the single life. She replied: "I'm not." [NY Daily News]
• Would you like to see a picture of the Real Housewives Of NYC frolicking in the Virgin Islands? [NY Post]
• "A million fans are being invited to take part in the composition of a pointillist portrait of the late U.S. pop icon Michael Jackson… The project has the blessing of Jackson's brother, Jermaine." [UPI]
• The Official Michael Jackson Opus book is 26 lbs., 400 pages and $249. [The Life Files]
• Julie Andrews will play London's O2 arena, and the venerable Clive Davis writes: "Whether or not Andrews's voice is the flawless multi-octave instrument that it once was, she has always been a consummate professional… Besides, legends are in short supply at the moment." [The Times Of London]
• Transformers director Michael Bay hosted a reunion of the show's cast and crew the other night in NYC, and Megan Fox did not attend. [Page Six]
• Amber Rose asked a stranger in a bathroom to zip up the back of her dress for her, saying: . "I have a hard time staying in this thing, but Kanye loves it." [Page Six]
• The new Miss California, Nicole Johnson, says she once dated Michael Phelps. And! Phelps may have dated Carrie Prejean as well. [TMZ]
• "A nude photo of film director Roman Polanski, who is now being held in a Swiss prison, and his wife Sharon Tate taken shortly before she was brutally murdered, will be sold at an upcoming auction where it could fetch more than $10,000, organizers said." [Reuters]
• Avril Lavigne was seen "passionately making out with a mystery man" in NYC Tuesday night. She was seen with Wilmer Valderrama over the weekend… Maybe divorce makes you horny? [Radar Online]
• The Pussycat Dolls have broken up and no one is speaking to Nicole Scherzinger, if you care. [Page Six]
• "Nellie McKay has three loves - animals, the Poconos, and Doris Day." [Philadelphia Inquirer]
• "Cagefighter's mummy: Nasty Jordan has been horrid to my little Alex." [The Sun]
• "She's a remarkable story… But you're on air every day. Eventually you think, 'do people really want to hear me talk anymore?'" — Phil Donahue, on Oprah ending her show. [Page Six]
• "Wait … is that Zac Posen? Wow." — Zac Efron. [Gatecrasher]
• Ten years ago I wouldn't have thought about having any children at all. [But do I want some?] Yes, yes, yes. I haven't given up hope. I find I'm not as bad with children as I used to be. I see a lot of children are over-parented now, over-adored and over-spoiled. I quite like children to be left alone to get on with it." — Hugh Grant. [Daily Express]
• "I think a show like this probably couldn't have happened five years ago, but I think with the success of American Idol and So You Think You Can Dance and other movie musicals, like Hairspray, Chicago and Nine that's coming up, they set the groundwork for people to accept it and being excited about it. I think we're putting a different twist on it to make it fun and interesting and kind of cool." — Glee's Matthew Morrison. [CNN]
• "You know that devil on your shoulder that tells you terrible things about people and of course you'd never say 'maybe you don't really believe.' She has no filter, and it just comes right out. So I'm a nice person after I leave Glee because I get to exercise the heinous behavior while I'm in a track suit yelling at defenseless children." — Jane Lynch. [CNN]
• "As traumatic and as terrifying as it was — and sometimes I wish it never happened — my whole life changed in the most amazing way after I went through that. If I didn't go through that, I swear, you would've been interviewing a completely different person." — Rihanna, on being assaulted by Chris Brown. [NY Times]
• "Everyone wanted me to see a therapist to just talk about it, and I refused. In Barbados we don't do that. We keep it in our family, and figure it out and move on. I just put my game face on and went on with my life. But deep down inside I had some things to get past, and it came out in the music." — Rihanna. [NY Times]

[New York, September 17. Images via Getty.]

• Michael Jackson's family is reportedly ready to fight his ex-wife (and mother of two of his children) Debbie Rowe for custody, as they believe that Rowe was never truly involved and that the kids should stay "within the family."[TMZ]

• Jackson's autopsy has been inconclusive thus far; it will take six to eight weeks to determine the official cause of death, pending toxicology reports. [E!]
• ""When the autopsy comes, all hell's going to break loose, so thank God we're celebrating him now," -Liza Minnelli [ShowbizSpy]
• Police have removed a car belonging to Dr. Conrad Murray, the last person to reportedly see Michael Jackson alive, because "it might contain evidence." [TMZ]
• Murray allegedly sent a letter to his patients 11 days ago, telling them he was "indefinitely" leaving his medical practice. [TMZ]
• Meanwhile, fans are snapping up Jackson's music; on Friday, he had 9 of the top 10 albums on ITunes and "Amazon sold more Jackson merchandise in the past 24 hours than in the prior 11 years." [Yahoo]
• Magician Ed Alonzo, whom you might remember as Max from Saved by the Bell, was preparing to work his magic at Jackson's upcoming tour, and says the night before Jackson died, he seemed fine at rehearsals. "He looked great and these pop-locking moves that he was doing on stage with the crew were just breathtaking... He didn't seem tired. He went from one move to the next. It was an unbelievable experience to be with him and to see it all come together."[USWeekly]
• "When you drove up there were baby elephants and chimpanzees in overalls, and there was all the rides. It was everything you can possibly imagine. The memories I have from that place will last for the rest of my life."- Kim Kardashian on her memories of Neverland Ranch. [People]
• Fans were not pleased with Alessandra Stanley's tribute to Farrah Fawcett in the New York Times, which seemed to blame Fawcett for her own cancer. In writing about Fawcett's final special, Stanley notes that she "never made the public service point that . . . the HPV vaccine is the most promising form of prevention against this type of cancer, which in most cases is sexually acquired." [NYPost]
• "I'm cool with my body, and I'm cool running around undressed and all that stuff, but there are just certain things that not everyone needs to know, that you need to keep somehow private and personal to you. But you never know, you never know. I could be 30 years old and just be like, 'Screw it-I want to take it all off. I better take a picture of this baby before it all goes."- Hayden Panettiere [E!]
• Surprising their fans, Spoon has announced that they'll be releasing a new EP this Tuesday. [EW]
• The Mighty Boosh plan to split in because Julian Barratt reportedly wishes to spend more time with his partner, Julia Davis and their children, while Noel Fielding "still loves the gig scene." [TheSun]
• Coolio will enter an 18-month rehab program in order to avoid jail time after pleading guilty to possession of cocaine.[Reuters]
• Evan Rachel Wood and Alan Cumming have been tapped to star in the Broadway adaptation of Spider-Man, which will be directed by Julie Taymor. Wood will play Mary Jane Watson; Cumming will play the Green Goblin. [Variety]
• Richard Dreyfuss has devoted himself to the revival of civics education in schools, as he believes its necessary for children to learn the importance of getting involved. [USAToday]
• Is Emma Watson trading in her Hogwarts robes for a stint at Columbia? [DailyExpress]
• Blind Item: "Which actor just had a baby with his girlfriend, but behind her back is having an affair with his fellow actor friend?" [BlindGossip]
• Heidi Fleiss is planning on marrying Dennis Hof owner of the Moonlite Bunny Ranch: "I'm proud to say that I'm clean and sober, and I'm finally ready to make a commitment to one man - and that's Dennis. It's going to be my first and only wedding, so it's going to be fabulous." [DailyExpress]
• Faith Hill and Tim McGraw "waited in line just like everybody else at the opening of the new Titanic exhibition at Discovery Times Square" with their children the other day and were reportedly very nice to fans. [PageSix]
• Former Girl Next Door Kendra Wilkinson is getting married today, and fellow ex-GND Holly Madison says"she's probably nervous," but that the ceremony is "going to be really beautiful and touching." [People]
• "I can't think of myself in terms of celebrity. It's just too weird. If the choice is between being gawked at and sitting in a chair in a dark room, I prefer the dark room."-Johnny Depp. You guys wouldn't happen to have a dark room that Johnny Depp could just make hide out in, would you? [ShowbizSpy]

[Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

[New York, June 10. Image via Splash]

• Beyoncé on her fake "screeching" recording:

"I haven't heard it but it sounds completely ridiculous." Her dad/manager Matthew Knowles adds: "At 12 years into her career, the last thing someone should be questioning is her vocal ability. That would be like questioning if Kobe Bryant could shoot a jump shot. The vocals were obviously altered." Okay okay we get it. [MTV]

• Lindsay Lohan is in Australia's Cleo magazine. She's asked: "As you're constantly in the public eye, how hard is it for you to forge successful, long lasting relationships?" She answers: "I don't think it's so hard. What I've learnt most is to keep my private life private." O RLY? Also, when asked about her "perfect evening," she says: "Staying in and watching a movie!" [ONTD]
• Lindsay talked to Ellen about her split with Sam: "When you don't know you're breaking up… Really weird." LL says the break came out of nowhere. "I had no idea what was going on. I just hadn't seen her in, like, a week. She, like, disappeared." Also, is this underminey? "I think it's been really good for me. I thought it would be so much harder and it hasn't been. My sister's been here with me." [People]
• "Lindsay Lohan is shockingly skinny again." [NY Daily News]
• Kate Moss maybe cheated on Jamie Hince with Eve Berlin from The Living Things. In Berlin. The rocker's brother says he walked in on Kate and Eve (born Yves) with his clothes off. [The Sun]
• Josh Hartnett's 911 call is on TMZ for some reason, and you can hear Josh say the words "food poisoning" and "diarrhea." [TMZ]
• What the goop: Gwyneth Paltrow gave Mario Batali free membership to that superduper exclusive gym she and Tracy Anderson opened. An insider says: "Mario is the only fat friend she has, and she wants him to change." [Page Six]
• This was in Midweek Madness yesterday but here it is again: Nadya Suleman's stripper name was Angelina. [MSNBC]
• Oh Christ: Miss California will appear at the Gospel Music Awards. [Yahoo News via AP]
• Dolly Parton had lunch in Manhattan and a blogger witness it. Dolly had an "expertly made-up ageless face, Barbie doll suit (paired with sheer black leggings), that famous platinum mane, and shoes that no other human being could possibly walk in." [mediabistro.com]
• Cyndi Lauper wants Susan Boyle to be in a film starring Cyndi and Tippi Hedren. "I think she's a kick. I really like her," sez Lauper. The movie is about "baby boomers who put their lives on hold to chase their dreams." [Reuters]
• By the way, when Susan Boyle said she'd never been kissed, that was a joke, people/ She says: "Never been kissed? I've never stopped." [Music Toob]
• Audrina is going to Spencer and Heidi's wedding this weekend. "They're two peas in a pod … I can't see either of them with anyone else." Is that a compliment? [People]
• Uh-oh! Jennie Garth found out that her husband Peter Facinelli cooked a pasta dinner for the cast of the Twilight sequel New Moon and she is not happy: "I am pissed off, because he doesn't make me pasta dinners. I don't know when was the last time the man cooked for me!" [E!]
• Rihanna and Katy Perry are boating & beaching together in Barbados. It looks so fun. I want to go to there! [NY Post]
• Speaking of New Moon, you guys can have that lame ass sparkly vampire, I'll take the shirtless hot hotties of the wolf pack. Have you seen this new picture? Soooo down with brown. And only one of them is technically underage! What's that? Their abs are Photoshopped? Lalalala I can't hear you. [People]
• NBC is considering running fewer episodes of Heroes next year, which will supposedly interrupt the storyline less. And you know, cut costs. [AdAge]
• Someone stole thousands of dollars of jewelry from Hayden Panettiere's L.A. home last week. [TMZ]
• Kanye West was "polite and gracious" when he showed up — by himself — at the Tribeca Film Festival's kickoff dinner. DON'T GET ALL NORMAL ON US, YEEZY!!!!!!1!!! [Gatecrasher]
• When filming ends on the last Harry Potter movie, Emma Watson says: "I will be . . . uncontrollable. It's been half of our lives. It's made us, it's formed us. It's such a big part of my life, so it will be really sad –and so much of the crew who have been there since the beginning are like my family." [Telegraph]
• Gillian Anderson may appear on Doctor Who. [Daily Express]
• Bruce Springsteen's wife wasn't at his concert on Tuesday night OMGAFFAIROMG. [Star]
• Alan Cumming supports New York Governor David Paterson's gay-marriage bill. "He's not doing it for political reasons. Like, when did gay marriage become something that could make you popular, for fuck's sake? That's just, like, being a little nippy, people being bitches." As for Rudy Giuliani? Cumming says: "I think he's an asshole. Please quote me on that." [NY Mag]
• Um, Elizabeth Banks will star and produce a comedy called Forever 21. Is it about disposable bar-crawling clothes? [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Since Matthew McConaughey is in a flick called Ghosts Of Girlfriends Past, he is forced to answer questions about past girlfriends. [E!]
• This just in: "Natalie Portman and Chief Executive Officer Christine Aylward launched MakingOf.com, a behind-the-scenes Web portal that provides an intimate, fresh look into the process of creating entertainment by the insiders themselves." [PR Newswire]
• Hot hottie Channing Tatum, of the critically acclaimed film Step Up, says of his new flick, Fighting: "I'm not a tough guy. I'm probably not even a good fighter." It's called ACTING, people, jeez. [USA Today]
• Anna Nicole Smith cannot rest in peace because there's always some kind of dramz in her family; this time it's her half-sister suing the publisher of her book Train Wreck: The Life and Death of Anna Nicole Smith, because she claims she hasn't been paid. [TMZ]
• Want to see a foxy picture of Christian Bale, from Empire magazine? Click click click! [ONTD]
• Prison Break's Lane Garrison has reached a financial settlement with the parents of the 17-year-old he killed in a drunk driving accident back in 2006. [TMZ]
• Mary-Louise Parker is not leaving Weeds. Had you heard that she was? [E!]
• Cameron Diaz is in talks to star in a "legal comedy" called Bobbie Sue, about a "hard-charging female ambulance chaser whose mindset makes her the ideal candidate to be the face of a prestigious law firm when a powerful client is sued in a sexual discrimination case." [Variety]
• Paul Giamatti will star in an indie drama called Barney's Version, in which he plays a man who has "led a reckless life highlighted by three marriages, two children and being a 'person of interest' in the mysterious disappearance of his bosom buddy. [Variety]
• Unsolicited uterus update: Jewel is trying for a baby. [Gatecrasher]
• Unsolicited uterus update: Jennifer Hudson is indeed pregnant. [NY Daily News, Page Six]
• Divorce lawyers are telling Oksana Pochepa (the chick who claims she's having a fling with Mel Gibson) to shut her trap. [The Sun]
• John Travolta is in Argentina shopping for land, what are you doing? [Yahoo News via AFP]
• Oh wait: This report says John Travolta is alone in Tahiti. [People]
• After five years and 241 shows at Caesars Palace, Elton John played his last show last night. Will he come back? [AP]
• Why is there a picture of Mariah Carey's husband and Spongebob Squarepants at the top of the Empire State Building? Is this real life? Is it going to be like this forever? [Gatecrasher]
• Here is old footage of Tony Danza being a whiny baby because he has to be on a local news program. [Videogum]
• Fred Durst is engaged and is the happiest man alive, should you care. [People]
• When Lou Reed is on tour, he would like to eat organic lamb, guava melon, or "LOCAL ORGANIC White Fish." [The Smoking Gun]
• Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, with Regis Philbin, will be revived this summer on ABC. [AP]
• Rob Lowe will be in TV movie on Lifetime, set your DVR. [UPI]
• Blind item: "Which hunky A-lister checks himself into swanky hotels under the alias 'King Kong'?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I was so incensed, so passionate about having a Democrat in the White House, I was insane. I was just crazed. I trust this administration. I trust Barack Obama and his intelligence and have faith that he'll do the right thing. So I've been able to relax the last few months." — Barbra Streisand. [Yahoo News via Reuters]
• "This issue is important to me. I didn't know too much about it before becoming a parent but whooping cough is on the rise. There have been a significant increase in reported cases over the past decade. Parents don't realize that they can get pertussis and transmit the disease to their babies." — Jennifer Lopez, the spokesperson for Sounds Of Pertussis. [UPI]
• "I had kind of a binge eating disorder where instead of dealing with my emotions, I would stuff them down with food. I actually went into a treatment center for it. It was definitely that excess eating to kind of just stuff all the emotions down ... I really was a creative kid who didn't know she was creative and didn't have those outlets because I was always afraid to join the theater group and not perform. The moment I started doing music, the moment I did what I loved to do in my life and committed to it, I don't have those problems anymore ... I have my outlet. I have that form of expression. I can go to the studio and talk about my feelings." — American Idol judge Kara DioGuardi. [People]
• "The most dynamic and sophisticated comedy to hit television in the last 10 years, if you like, and here it is, they're calling me. It's a great, great feeling. And as quickly as it came, I was on the set. It really felt like an out-of-body experience. 'I watch this show; what am I doing here? What is Steve Carell doing, improvising and trying to make me laugh?' They all do that. John [Krasinski] especially. He said to me the other day, 'My character hates your character so much, it makes me want to hate you in real life. Is that OK?' They're great guys, I love working on that show." — Idris Elba on his stint on The Office. [LA Times]
• "I wouldn't want to change myself too much because that would really make things a bit false. I want to receive people as the real me, a real person." — Susan Boyle. [NY Daily News]
• "You just leave them with enough food and water to survive. No, first of all, you have an amazing wife, and she gets it and handles all the craziness. And you just try to make the time you got really cool. When you're there, you're totally present, and you just bounce back and forth. At least I'm not in the military with people shooting at me. I have friends who are in Iraq. At least when we're gone, I'm in a hotel room. Maybe, I may lose my life to this really bad room service. That's the threat."— Taylor Hanson on how he handles going on tour and leaving four kids at home. [People]
• "It's none of my business, but you know what I say about that? I understand the situation. I understand passion with young kids. My personal opinion about that is, he's just a baby. He's just a little baby that don't know how to handle his emotions when it comes to a woman. And he probably hears this and thinks, 'I know how to handle my emotions'; we all think we do. But the fact [is], you look at this person and you might be crazy in love, but we don't know how to handle those feelings." — Mike Tyson on Chris Brown. [MTV]
• "I just put his foot in my mouth. There was no sucking. It was a spontaneous moment, too — it wasn't in the script. I just went for it. I still don't even know how Zac felt about me cramming his foot into my mouth. It's not like we're e-mail buddies." — Saturday Night Live's Jason Sudeikis, on his skit with Zac Efron. [Gatecrasher]

• Alan Cumming thinks that our new President, Barack Obama, has a large, ahem, unit:

"I think great leaders, charismatic leaders and men who are so confident and who have achieved so much, usually have big penises,” Cumming tells New York. "I think there’s a correlation between the level of confidence, the level of the way a man can hold a room and the way he conducts himself in life, with his penis size — with his comfort with his penis size. So much of male psyche is taken up with how big your cock is; it’s a huge deal in our lives, and so when you’re confident about your penis size, it shows. Well, just look at [Obama]. Just the way he’s so kind of elegant and very confident in his body and himself. Also, someone told me that they worked out with him in a gym in Chicago, and it was big." [NY Mag]

• Naomi Watts talks about her ex-boyfriend Heath Ledger in Parade magazine: "When I got to the set and did that first scene with him, I was like, ‘Wow! This guy is alive.’ It was just something deep in his eyes. You could look into them, and they would tell a thousand stories in one glance. There was a wonderful mixture of power and fragility at work in everything he did, which just pulls you in. His strength didn’t scare you. It intrigued you. And his fragility touched you." [MSNBC]
• Jessica Simpson performed yesterday in Charlottesville, Virginia, and referred to the kerfluffle over her body: "Thank you for your support," she told the crowd. "Stay positive, and pray out loud! Please remember, no matter what you go through in life, somebody else might have it harder. So just appreciate. I feel like in our world today we focus on so many things that are completely pointless." Word. [People]
• Do what you must to prepare yourself: Madonna and her kids are moving to the U.S. [The Sun]
• And! Her Madgesty will add another leg to her Sticky & Sweet tour, heading to the U.K. and Europe this summer. [Reuters]
• Renee Zellweger was not a VIP at Barack Obama's inauguration — by choice. "I wanted to be part of it and not in a celebrity way, where you're ushered into your safe place," she says. She listened to the ceremony from a barricade on First Street, next to a blind lady. [USA Today]
• £15,000 worth of stuff was stolen from Amy Winehouse's home — flat screen TV, guitars, recording equipment. Amy is still in the Caribbean, but is said to be "devastated." A source says: "Some of the guitars are irreplaceable due to their sentimental value." Hopefully they stole her crack pipe. [The Sun]
• So you know how a stage manager stole from the fashion closet of Lipstick Jungle? He also robbed Brooke Shields! "[He's] the same guy who stole my wallet out of my dressing room last season, right out of my purse!” Shields says. "He’s not very bright, because the purse was worth more than the wallet." [Gatecrasher]
• Traders on the Hollywood Stock Exchange are betting on Sex And The City 2. [WSJ]
• Anna Faris is engaged to actor Chris Pratt, who was on Everwood and The OC and currently plays Anne Hathaway's fiance in Bride Wars. Good luck, kids! [Us]
• Director Danny Boyle and producer Christian Colson have issued a statement denying that Slumdog Millionaire exploited two child actors: "Boyle and Colson said the kids were enrolled in school for the first time after filming, and a fund had been set up to cover their education, as well as their basic living costs, health care and any emergencies. If the children stay in school until they are 18, they will receive another lump sum." [Variety]
• In this interview, a man whose 7-year-old daughter appears in Slumdog says the filmmakers "are taking complete care of my child." "Whatever a parent could have done, they have done much more than that." [AP]
• Ugh, more Slumdog problems: In Mumbai, the flick is not exactly drawing people to the cineplexes, because people don't understand the title and rampant piracy means some have already seen it on DVD. [Reuters]
• Faith Hill is glad that Jennifer Hudson will sing at the Super Bowl: "I believe to come and perform the national anthem, which is this country's favourite song, at a time that our country is stepping up and moving forward for future generations - I think it's just the perfect choice." [The Star]
• Why did Bruce Springsteen — after being asked several times — finally agree to play the Super Bowl half-time show? "It was sort of, well, if we don’t do it now, what are we waiting for? I want to do it while I’m alive." [NY Times]
• Very unlikely duo Bob Dylan and will.i.am will both appear in a Pepsi commercial during the Super Bowl. How does it feel? To be on your own, like a black-eyed pea? [Reuters]
• Penelope Cruz says that Woody Allen is not sleazy, and only makes pervy comments to make people laugh: "On set he would say something completely wild and I would say, 'I can't believe those words came out of your mouth!'" Allen, she says, is "very peculiar – but I love him." [Guardian]
• Tom Cruise's flick, Valkyrie, was beaten at the box office in Germany by Twilight; and in England, Slumdog Millionaire crushed the Nazi flick. Valkyrie cost between $90 and $100 million to make and $50 to $60 mil to promote, but has grossed only about $83 million in the U.S. Not bad, but not the comeback Cruise was hoping for at his new studio. [Fox 411]
• James Brown's family will go to court today, hoping for a settlement regarding the late singer's estate, after two years of drama. [USA Today]
• Khloe Kardashian and Rashad McCants of the Minnesota Timberwolves have broken up. Khloe writes on her blog: "Relationships are hard enough as is when you live in the same city, and he's in a different city everyday for games." [Khloe Kardashian]
• Lil Wayne had to remove a song, Playing With Fire, from his hit album, That Carter III, due to a copyright suit: The track had melody and lyrics from the Rolling Stones' tune, "Play With Fire." If you go to iTunes, the song will have vanished. [WSJ]
• ABC has picked up a comedy, Let It Go, starring Lauren Graham, in which she plays a talkshow host who is dumped by her boyfriend and can't follow her own advice of "letting go." [Variety]
• Mike McCready from Pearl Jam, who suffers from Crohn's disease, is lobbying Washington state lawmakers to give people with gastrointestinal disorders more bathroom access. [AP]
• If you have $5.2 million, you can buy the former home of John Edwards and his glossy hair. [WSJ]
• More proof that the '90s are back: Jane's Addiction is planning a spring tour. [Gatecrasher]
• And more proof the '90s are back: House Of Style will return to MTV! Possibly with Bar Refaeli or Chanel Iman as host. [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which baseball heartthrob may be playing for the other team? He secretly slides into bed with Florida fellas." [Gatecrasher]
• Is Ellen Barkin's new TV show — in which she plays a woman "famous for her high-profile marriage, who divorces and re-enters the single market" kinda like her actual life? [Page Six]
• Did Eliza Dushku brag about killing deer, elk and other animals? Apparently she said it was okay for her to hunt because she eats what she kills. Guess who's pissed? PETA. [Page Six]
• Jessica Alba has a bow tattooed above her crack. [The Life Files]
• "With the internet you can fight back. If someone has written something unjust, wrong or has offended me, or offended a friend, then that’s it. The other day Perez Hilton wrote that I was a lazy arse and I should give up on my record. Today, my single is No1 in the midweeks and I am on tour, working really, really hard. And his job is sitting at a computer all day. How can he call me lazy?!" — Lily Allen. [The Sun]
• "Being a nun now makes total sense. I wouldn't do it for Jesus - I would do it to see tabloid gossip people have zero to write about. 'She prays all fucking day - what are we going to write about now?' " — Lily Allen to Spin. [Page Six]
• "I used to pester my mother to have another baby when my father was still alive. She ended up having an eight hour operation to unblock her tubes and things like that. The operation was a success but my father died while she was having it, so it was really ironic, terrible timing." — Kate Beckinsale. [Daily Express]
• "We're planning a home birth, but it might be a Grammy birth! Eating a hot curry could make me go into labor, so imagine what getting on stage with Jay-Z, Lil Wayne and T.I. would do. Everyone's been very understanding." — M.I.A., who has been nominated for a Grammy and an Oscar, but is due the night before the Grammys. [WSJ]
• "If I'm not coming up with something I get very upset and start questioning it all. 'I can't get it out. I'm not worthy of the money I'm getting paid. There are people who are so much better.' I really beat myself up." — Lily Allen, on her writer's block. [WSJ]
• "I’m upset because I feel disrespected by the press and by Mr. Rourke. Just because I’m single doesn’t mean that you can take advantage of me. It’s unfair that the performances (in The Wrestler) might suffer because of all of these distractions. I'm not attracted to him, he's too old for me. Nothing ever happened and nothing ever will." — Evan Rachel Wood, on the rumors she was making out with Mickey Rourke after the SAG awards. [MSNBC]
• "I have a crush on Jimmy Carter. I admit it. He has an extraordinary mind. He's an exceptional human being. And he writes poetry, for crying out loud. He's all good things." — Renee Zellweger. [USA Today]
• "I’VE MADE SOME GOOD CHOICES AND SOME MISTAKES… I’VE BEEN LOVED AND HATED…. I’VE BEEN HAILED AND RIDICULED… I’VE BEEN INVITED TO SHOWS AND AS USUAL ASKED NOT TO COME… I’VE BEEN ATTACKED FOR BEING ME… FOR BEING BRIGHT RED IN A GREY WORLD…. I AM NUCLEAR ENERGY." — Kanye West, in an email to Rolling Stone. [Rolling Stone]

• Despite mourning her family tragedy, Jennifer Hudson is in the Gap's holiday ad campaign, wearing a bright red sweater and smiling. Gap gave J.Hud the option to back out, but she wanted to go ahead and have the ads run. [Yahoo News via E!]
• Jennifer Hudson writes on her MySpace blog: "I want to thank each and every one of you for your thoughts and prayers during this difficult time. Thank You All." [People]
• Beyoncé is on the cover of Seventeen and she certainly appears to have her wits about her. She says she would never get married before the age of 25. "I feel like you have to get to know yourself, know what you want, spend some time by yourself, and be proud of who you are before you can share that with someone else." Plus! She's super critical of herself: "I have my YouTube days, when I watch every performance," she says. "I listen to my music, and I watch my videos to figure out what I need to do, what I need to fix, and how to become a better singer." [People]
• Kate Winslet on her Vanity Fair pix: "The whole shoot was about doing the character. I feel like I was playing the part and not me — it doesn't feel like me. It took six hours to set up the lighting and the hair and make-up, because I obviously don't look like that all the time." [Daily Mail]
• The brother of the American Idol reject who killed herself outside the star's L.A. home is blaming Abdul for crushing his sister's dreams. "[Abdul] didn't speak up for her. She let everyone take her down," Charles McIntyre says. [NY Post]

• Madonna to Gwyneth Paltrow: Shut up! Her Magdesty is sick of Gwynnie saying she's "helping Madonna through her divorce." Madge allegedly told G: "If you want to help me and be supportive of me, then keep your mouth SHUT! Say nothing about me or my divorce." [National Enquirer]
• Madonna needs your help: She's building a school for girls in Malawi. [ET]
• It's official: The Obamas are the new Brangelina. [Politico]
• Barbara Walters did something right in letting Whoopi, Joy, Sherri and Elisabeth quarrel: The View is now the most watched show in daytime, after 12 years on the air. [Variety]
• The "report" about Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson getting married is "not true," according to LL's rep. [MSNBC]
• And here's a story about Sam getting pissed at Lindsay for flirting with some guy in Vegas. "Lindsay says she loves Sam more than anything but she just can't help that she is attracted to the opposite sex," says a spy. [The Sun]
• Oh, and Lindsay and Sam have a bulldog named Cadillac, who is "like their child." [Daily Express]
• Hmm, who's on the list of "Hollywood's Most Overexposed Celebrities"? Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and Pamela Anderson, for starters. [Forbes]
• Daniel Craig made a flick called Flashbacks of a Fool which opened October 17, played in two theaters and is already on DVD. It made barely any money, but he's NAKED in it, hello. But Bond's getting all the attention. PS: Bond opens today! [Fox 411]
• Amy Winehouse spotted "on a rampage" and holding a bottle of vodka. Business as usual. [Daily Mail]
• Yikes! Naomi Campbell, Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon were on the same British Airways flight. Are there planes big enough for all that ego? [Page Six]
• There was a rumor that Blake Lively would be on the cover of Vogue, but it turned out she was on the cover of W instead; now comes word that she will indeed land the cover of the February issue of Vogue. Plus! Michelle Obama for the March issue?? [Fashionista]
• Beyoncé denies that she's the one who leaked a new track written for her by Justin Timberlake. There's audio of JT performing the song online. [Mirror]
• Elton John on Prop 8: "What is wrong with Proposition 8 is that they went for marriage. Marriage is going to put a lot of people off, the word marriage. I don't want to be married. I'm very happy with a civil partnership. If gay people want to get married, or get together, they should have a civil partnership. The word 'marriage,' I think, puts a lot of people off. You get the same equal rights that we do when we have a civil partnership. Heterosexual people get married. We can have civil partnerships."
  [USA Today]
• Rachel Zoe and Nicole Richie: Totally seen talking! Do they no longer hate each other? [Page Six, Perez Hilton]
• Critics aren't sure if Britney Spears will actually be able to make a comeback. One music editor says: "Are they coming to see you because they think a train wreck is about to happen, or because they really like your music?" [Reuters]
• Hilary Duff is coming to NBC in a new, as yet to be determined show. Anyone ever see Material Girls? [Variety]
• Ed Norton plays twins in a comedic thriller; check out this picture of him talking to himself. [EW]
• 90210 spoiler alert: Highlight the hidden text if you want to know: Brenda's gonna die. [Perez Hilton]
• You guys: Russell Brand's flying his girlfriend to New York, because he misses her. Sigh. [The Sun]
• Real Housewives Of Atlanta: Off-camera catfights! Threatening voicemails! Drama! [TMZ]
• Hugh Jackman is a wounded soul, you guys. His mother deserted him and his four older siblings when he was a kid. "I do remember having terrible feelings, mainly of feeling really abnormal," he says. "Divorce wasn't common then and it was uncommon for the mother to leave, and I had a real feeling of embarrassment." [Sydney Morning Herald]
• Australia had better be a blockbuster: Hugh Jackman just bought a £14.2 million New York apartment. [Daily Express]
• That commercial Catherine Zeta-Jones was filming in Prague? It's for shampoo. [The Sun]
• Meryl Streep: Starring in LibertyLibrary Cat, a movie about a stray kitty's impact on a town in Iowa. Yeah, a cat. Destined to be awesome? Or awesomely bad? [EW]
• This is an article in praise of Julianne Moore: "Where would we be without her?" [Guardian]
• Eminem's album is being delayed because he's being "obsessive." [The Sun]
• Taylor Swift says she knew about Joe Jonas dating Camilla Belle: "They've been together since we broke up. That's why we broke up — because he met her." Ouch. [Perez Hilton]
• Joe Jonas says: "I never cheated on a girlfriend. Maybe there were reasons for a breakup. Maybe the heart moved on." Teen angst! [Yahoo News, People]
• Watch this: Yunjin Kim and Daniel Dae Kim on a beachy set, discussing their characters on Lost! [EW]
• Whoopi Goldberg will produce — but not star — in a London stage version of Sister Act. It's sort of a remake, with changes to update the story. [Yahoo News]
• Miley Cyrus's boyfriend still claims to be "just a family friend." Sure, sure. [Perez Hilton]
• Ben Stiller's daughter Ella has playdates with Suri Cruise. Ben's wife, Christine Taylor says: "It's like any other play date. I mean [Suri's] amazing and [Tom and Katie] are terrific. And when little kids get together you just let them do their thing, there's no outside elements. Ella likes being the older sister—and we haven't had many [play-dates] but whoever's children that they're playing with, it's always a great thing to see your kids connecting." [NY Observer]
• The CIA gives "advice" to many Hollywood films, and this story claims "no one is truly sure about the extent of its shadowy involvement." Dun dun dun! [Guardian]
• CSI fans are not happy about William Peterson leaving the show. 37% said they would not watch once Petersen, who plays night shift supervisor Gil Grissom, leaves midway through the season. He's being replaced by Laurence Fishburne. [Reuters]
• Linda Hogan says Hulk Hogan purposely handed over the rights to his Hulk Hogan brands to his best friend Eric Bischoff so she can't get any cash from the profits. Messy stuff. [TMZ]
• Sad face: Benicio del Toro's dad is super sick. BDT flew to Puerto Rico to be with him. [Rush & Molloy]
• A woman who claims Shaquille O'Neal stalked and threatened her has withdrawn her request for a restraining order. Change of heart? Secret settlement? [TMZ]
• Jodi Sweetin, aka Stephanie from Full House, just signed a six-figure deal to publish her addiction memoir. Did playing second banana to the Olsen twins drive her to drugs? [NY Observer]
• Speaking of book deals, Sarah Silverman is writing something and there's a bidding war going on. [Observer]
• Last season it was a tornado; the year before it was a "supermarket standoff" — this year, the Desperate Housewives stunt is a ravaging fire. [Yahoo News]
• Ryan O'Neal and his son have delayed entering pleas in their felony drug cases until after the new year. Attorneys asked the judge for more time to review evidence. [Yahoo News]
• Terrence Howard's mom died in September and he's trying to get back on track.
  "I know that I have been quiet but I had a lot going on," he wrote on his MySpace blog. "But I am slowly pulling it together." [People]
• Whoa: Annie Lennox has two teenage daughters? They went to the preview of the Comme Des Garcons collection for H&M. They's so pretty! [Daily Express]
• Porn legend Heather Hunter convinced a judge to toss out a plagiarism suit; another writer claimed Hunter's novel is a ripoff. The girl's-quest-for-stardom-leads-her-to-porn plot is maybe not that unusual. [NY Daily News]
• Why are people tracking down Elvis's 71-year-old ex-girlfriend? [Guardian]
• The Beatles' former road manager, Tony Bramwell, says: "I have no axe to grind against Yoko. I wanted to let Beatles fans know the real stories about what it was like when Yoko came into John’s life and the problems she caused for the Beatles, their fans, and the staff at Apple." [Daily Express]
• What recession? Lars Ulrich paid $14 million for sold a Jean Michel Basquiat painting yesterday. [Yahoo News]
• Got a tens of thousands of dollars to spend? Photographs of Angelina Jolie, Kate Moss and Britney Spears are up for auction at Christie's. [Telegraph]
• "Money is certainly going to dry up for a lot of people on a lot of fronts, especially in the giving area. But I believe art can survive, it's like grass growing through a crack in the sidewalk. No matter what the economic conditions, art will always survive. I'm hopeful that the more art gets realized as an important factor in the world we live in, more and more people will donate some money and maybe, more importantly, time to the quest." — Robert Redford. [Reuters]
• "I realize that my place and position in history is that I will go down as the voice of this generation, of this decade, I will be the loudest voice. It's me settling into that position of just really accepting that it's one thing to say you want to do it and it's another thing to really end up being like Michael Jordan." — ever-humble Kanye West. [USA Today]
• "I'll watch anything with Helen Mirren in it. Especially when she was young. I mean, come on! I love Helen. I watch The Cook, The Thief, His Wife & Her Lover at least four times a year." - -Samuel L. Jackson. [Daily Express]
• "You could say that being yelled at by Janis Joplin was one of the great honors of my life. […] Janis didn't dress like anyone else, and she definitely didn't sing like anyone else. Janis put herself out there completely, and her voice was not only strong and soulful, it was painfully and beautifully real." — Stevie Nicks. [Rolling Stone]
• "The baby comes wherever I go, and I just like looking at her, watching her breathe. I stand over her crib and watch her breathe. It's pathetic. My mum says I'm over-bonded. I don't care. I'm just very bonded right now." — Nicole Kidman. [USA Today]
• "All of the critics who gave me one star less than full marks should eat shit and die. It’s like your mother knitting you a sweater and you telling her it was only worth seven out of ten. Music is a gift — it shouldn’t get a rating." — Kanye West. [The Sun]
• "I guess I’m lucky. Genetically, I’m like my mum and she looked great right up until her death in 1989. But I think the real secret is that I am very, very happy. I have a wonderful new husband and we’re very compatible. I’m having the best time and I’m in a great place emotionally." — Olivia Newton-John, on why she looks so good. [Mirror]
• "I was inspired to become a citizen of the U.S. by Barack Obama and his vision of the future. Although I missed being able to vote for him on Tuesday, being sworn in as a citizen knowing he is the next president made me so proud. I am now an American. If McCain and [Sarah] Palin had won, I may have stayed in bed." — Alan Cumming, who became an American last week. [Page Six]
• "I'm just going through balancing [living without my mom]. And I always used to have that support system, you know. My mom would be there; no matter what, she was there before everything. We were together for like 30 years. And you know now when I'm on that stage and I look out and I say, 'What am I going to do with the rest of my life?' Like when does a real life start?' Because I have sacrificed real life to be a celebrity and to give this art to people, which is great. It is great that I was able to do that, I'm not trying to shun that in any way, but it's definitely a Catch-22 and it's bittersweet." — Kanye West. [USA Today]

The Good:
Delta Goodrem: Yet another example of the right way to wear white. Bridal designers, take note.
Adrien Brody looks sweet and tame with Elsa Pataky on his arm.
Despite the fact that I really should know better, I do love Alan Cumming.
Ashlee Simpson doesn't look preggers to me.
I don't know who Gisele Mercedes is, but I like her look.

The Bad:
And in the category of "C'mon, you could've done better" we have Cheryl "Salt" James, sporting Lohan-esque leggings...
...and Kim Raver, whose dress is both a little Juniors and a little dowdy.
I can't explain what it is that doesn't sit right with me about Katie Lee Joel, other than the fact that every night she crawls into bed with Billy Joel and lets him lie on top of her.

The Ugly:
Jaslene Gonzalez shall forever be a pox upon Tyra Banks. This woman is so not America's Next Top Model.

[Images via FilmMagic.]

The Good:
Nom nom Mariska!
Dear Malan Breton, I love you, your maniacal laugh, and your insane suit. Xo.
Can't help it: Love that shade of blue on Tala Ashe's dress.
Tim Gunn: Then, now, always.

The Bad:
Pocket gay Alec Mapa is clearly not afraid of wearing white (or cream, whatevs) after Labor Day.
Um, yeah: Same goes for TV host Graham Norton.
Did someone forget to remind Loretta Devine that she's an icon?! Why is she dressed so shabby?!

The Ugly:
I don't care how out, loud and proud he is: Alan Cumming should know better than to dress like the Unabomber.

[Images via FilmMagic.]