MOE: Ohhhhh mann, I'm still like on Seattle time or something
MEGAN: I'm on "got home at midnight after an 8 hour drive" fog.
MOE: What should we talk about? Yikes!
MEGAN: Oh, see, I was going to suggest that we talk about how Alaskan Republican Senator Ted "Series of Tubes" Stevens was indicted on 7 counts yesterday, but fetish hookers is way more prurient. Also, rumors around the courts here in D.C. is that touchy-feely ass-grabbing Congressman Don Young is next. Actually, that's just been the rumor for a while, but doesn't it sound cooler when I semi-source it?
MOE: Isn't just the fact that Alaska has two senators corruption in itself?
MEGAN: Well, they do have a whole 100,000 more people than Washington, DC, so of course they deserve 2 Senators and a Congressman and D.C. shouldn't get either.
Geek moment: Did you know that there are more people in Hawai'i than Alaska? Like, almost twice as many.
MOE: Yes. Does that surprise you? Any more than, like, this? Oh god I need coffee.
MEGAN: Back to Stevens, the most hilarious thing of all is that they couldn't charge him with bribery because sometimes he just took the lavish gifts from Veco and told them to fuck off! It's sort of like how Congressmen and Senators feel about campaign contributions only flashier (now including a Land Rover and a Viking Grill!).
As a white resident of upstate New York, I particularly like this statement of Sharpton's:

"We have all made mistakes. We have all erred, and we ought not try to sugar coat when we err."

Oh, really, Al?
MOE: The Ted Stevens thing reminds me of when I used to cover Nike for the Journal, and the guys from SLAM just couldn't figure out why I wasn't allowed to take free shoes. "Sure, it's bribery, but when EVERYONE bribes you you're still objective!"
MEGAN: "As long as you 'slam' them later," right? (Apologies for the bad but necessary pun).Speaking of apologies...
MOE: Jesus this totally makes the AMA's timing look COMPLETELY NORMAL!

In February, the Senate apologized for atrocities committed against Native Americans, and the body apologized in 2005 for standing by during a lynching campaign against African Americans throughout much of the past century. Twenty years ago, Congress apologized for interning Japanese Americans in concentration camps during World War II.

MEGAN: Well, you know, they're really, really worried about reparations. That's, like, a completely legitimate concern.
MOE: As I'm sure is the fact that there is a lot in those Jim Crow laws some Americans still would like to resurrect! Sorry, that's a year old, but I didn't remember it until today.
MEGAN: Luckily for Jonah and at the behest of plenty of Republican state governments, states are passing government-ID laws to make it more difficult for people to vote, especially poor people. You heard, right, that the first people fucked over by that law were a bunch of nuns and students? But it was the Democratic primary, so that was the intention, anyway, to keep Democrats from voting, so hooray Indiana for designing a law that actually works as it was intended. Sort of hooray. More like, um, FUCK YOU Mitch Daniels. Cialis was marketed under his tenure at Lilly, by the way. You knew he was a pharmaceutical company exec before he was OMB Director before he was Governor of Indiana, right?
MOE: Uh no but doesn't that just make this world make a little more sense! That and this guy. Um I just blew some of my literacy reading this. Also, is it just me or is it surprising that nuns of all people would not have their IDs ready? I know they probably don't get carded too often, but isn't it in the nun personality type?
MEGAN: But why would they need an ID? And, yes, OMG, can we please, please, please stop dumbing Michelle Obama down so that people think she's more like them? Please? It makes my brain hurty. Oh, and did you see that the International Olympics Committee negotiated a secret deal with the Chinese to limit journalists' internet access?
MOE: God everytime I think I know how full of shitheads the IOC is I am proved wrong. Who are these IOC officials anyway? Hey, maybe there's a job for Mitt Romney!
MEGAN: Someone's got to give him on eventually if McCain won't. His hair is too bulletproof to retire.
MOE: So $15,000 a month is Rielle Hunter's hush money . I feel like we should do a poll on how much you'd ask if you'd been knocked up by a filthy rich presidential candidate. I think fifteen grand is good, because there's not a whole lot an unimaginative person like myself can't do on that money, but it's not so disgusting people will question her genuine love for the bastard. But hey, where's the "real father" Andrew Young in all of this?
MEGAN:Apparently, getting paid off by the same middleman! That's $180,000 a year, or, if it continues at the same rate, $3.24 million over the next 18, not including tuition. I don't think I'll make $3 million in the next 18 years. Also, can we just discuss how exactly the Enquirer knew that Rielle was in the hotel, whose name she checked in under and when Edwards would show? Because between that and the news that she's negotiating a paid interview, I don't think the "hush" part of the money is working.

• New York City police arrested Al Sharpton, Sean Bell's fiancée, Nicole Paultre Bell, and hundreds of other protesters today for staging prayer sessions at the exits of Manhattan in protest over the acquittal of the cops that shot Mr. Bell. Because, obviously, inconveniencing others to protest the loss of life means you should spend time at Rikers. Why did they have to make me like Al Sharpton? [NY Times]
  
• Hillary's staying in the race despite the hellishly long odds, hoping that Barack will fuck it up and she can convince the superdelegates to anoint her the candidate. [NY Times]
  
• To that end, she had an unannounced meeting in Washington with many of them behind closed doors. There's nothing sketchy-looking about that to the average voter though. [The Atlantic]

• And, goddammit, I find myself agreeing with Bush's threat to veto the "Democratic" housing crisis bill because it's a huge giveaway to shady mortgage lenders at the expense of taxpayers. Yes, that's right, the Republican butt-buddy of industry is criticizing the Champion-of-the-Little-Guy Party for their giveaways to industry. What the hell is happening in the world today? [Washington Post]
• I mean, a Bush Administration flunkie may actually testify before Congress about some shit they pulled! [Washington Post]
• But we resumed ritualized state-sanctioned murder last night. [NY Times]
• The death toll in Burma is likely to rise, and the junta doesn't give a shit about the people anyway so they're procrastinating on letting aid workers in. [Washington Post]
• Lebanon's having violent protests again. [LA Times]
• People are making souvenirs for Jenna Bush's wedding to sell to tourists. Fucking Marriage Industrial Complex. [Fox News]
• Oh, and our government is spending money to try to catch illegal immigrants trying to leave the United States. [LA Times]
• Not that any of that will stop conservatives from being happier by rationalizing away inequality. [LiveScience.com]
• Guess the rest of us will just have to stay frustrated and fatigued. [Reuters]

Image via Young Manhattanite

MEGAN: I had a dream the night before last that Dolly Parton was having a three-way with two guys on a helicopter maneuvering to escape enemy fire. And I was watching. What does this say about our psyches?

MOE: That's a rhetorical question right? Good.

MEGAN: Yeah, I don't want to know either

MOE: So let's see. I sort of feel like it's a snow day because Obama's turnout in Indiana actually kept rising after I fell asleep. Also, I'm taking off the rest of the day so there is that. And because I've been watching Fox I've been hearing nothing but "Clinton is going to pull through, she's our girl; she's a working class hero; he's arugula-class Hegel" blah blah so this was really fun. Last night Shep Smith was outright rolling his eyes dramatically at anyone who said she still had a chance.

MEGAN: Shep does a lot of things very dramatically

MOE: Unrelated: Michelle and the persimmon color: hot! I wanted Shep to weigh in on that but he didn't.

MEGAN: I switched channels around 10:30 or so when they did a whole piece on McCain and conservative judges and I couldn't take it anymore.
MEGAN: Yes, actually, I liked the colors of both Michelle's and Hillary's outfits last night. I particularly appreciated Hillary's jewelry choice for once.
MOE: OH I don't notice jewelry because I don't really do jewelry — I'd say because I am trying to do that whole "urbane tomboy aesthetic" thing but actually just because I will lose it — what did it look like?
MEGAN: It was like, simple and silver, rather than a huge chunky thing. Check it out.
MOE: Even Fox & Friends, which this morning was like "It's a big day for Obama, it's a big day for Hillary; it's a big deal for the host of Fox & Friends because it's his birthday..." Uh, happy birthday right wing conspiracy!
MEGAN: Doocey? If you emerged fully formed from the gaping mouth of hell, do you get to call that day your birthday?
MOE: Oh my god right now on Fox News they're blowing their outrage wad on the fact that some American Idol contestant last night didn't remember the words to the Byrds song he was performing. HOW COULD HE NOT REMEMBER THE WORDS TO THAT SONG IT'S LIKE THE FUCKING NATIONAL ANTHEM FOR CHRISSAKE.
MEGAN: Hey, it's no Proud to Be an American.
MOE: AAAAAH
8:45 AM
MEGAN: Sorry, couldn't resist. I didn't watch American Idol because the future of our democracy was at stake or some shit.
MOE: Okay now there are lots of kids on the Fox & Friends. The guy whose birthday it is is Brian. He has a Goodfellas unsinister bad guy face. And now here's Mike Huckabee! And he's chastising Brian for having such a big birthday cake!!! Is this what happens when Fox is temporarily forced to try and clear its viewers' mental caches so they forget how forcefully they've all been claiming things were the way they provably as of yesterday aren't?
MOE: Hey, here's a birthday cake! Here's a folksy governor! Here's some protest music! Kiddies!
MEGAN: Is there a clown?
MOE: Is there a clown...
MEGAN: I know! I was trying to throw you a joke softball.
MEGAN: Have you ever watched all of Obama's surrogates on TV and wonder why they are all so Midwesternly white?
MEGAN: (Sorry, some communications guy just came on MSNBC and he looks like a young Karl Rove only without the red glowing eyes)
MOE: I told you I don't have sound.
MOE: On my other news stations.
MOE: They haven't really had many Obama surrogates on Fox.
MOE: I'm switching to CNBC. Let's see what the market is saying about this.
MEGAN: Ah, ok. Well, they are. It's like they're coming to all of us and being like, no, it's cool, he has white friends. I'm honestly trying to remember a senior campaign official of his or national surrogate who is a person of color.
MOE: Oooh, weird, the first commercial was for something called Salesgenie.com and it is entirely in Mandarin.
MEGAN: Ok, so, the markets have decided that none of us have any money to buy anything anyway? Great.
MEGAN: I mean, in my case it's true, but still.
MOE: That's true I can't think of any black Obama surrogates. I feel like I've seen other minorities but not black surrogates and that's a very salient thing that hasn't been pointed out. I'm thinking this was incredibly calculated and it's entirely to blame for the entire Jeremiah Wright Al Sharpton rage thing. And maybe that is why this Wright scandal didn't cast the terrible "shadow" all the headlines were saying it would cast. Because if there is one thing I have learned recently it's that Boomer Fatigue is not just something White People Like. It's color bline.
MOE: blind
MEGAN: Ok, so, we could talk about something else because I totally have primary fatigue. Hey, look, Putin's buttboy/puppet just got inaugurated in Russian. That's vaguely interesting.

MOE: Sorry I had to get the door
MEGAN: No worries, I just thought you thought Russia was boring. The new guy is cute for a dictator.

MOE: We've discussed how Medvedev was sort of Putin's protege at school, when Putin was a KGB agent...but he was really a narc...I know we've discussed him before. Oh yeah and he's the former chairman of Gazprom. In other news Burma accepted storm aid.
MEGAN: Now just let's hope that the junta can keep their sweaty palms off of it, though I'm not that hopeful on that point.
MOE: Perhaps we should incorporate the sassy exchange from last night's CNN that a reader just implored us to excerpt.

So stop the divisions. Stop trying to split us into these groups,
Paul, because you and I know both know we have been in more campaigns.
We know how Democrats win and to simply suggest that Hillary's coalition
is better than Obama's, Obama's is better than Hillary's — no. We have
a big party, Paul.

BEGALA: That's right.

BRAZILE: Just don't divide me and tell me I cannot stand in
Hillary's camp because I'm black, and I can't stand in Obama's camp
because I'm female. Because I'm both.

BEGALA: That's — Donna -

BRAZILE: And I'm wealthy so I might go with McCain and sit with
Bill Bennett, Paul.

BENNETT: That's funny.

BRAZILE: Don't start with me, baby.

MEGAN: Ooh, by the way, the AP is just now reporting that Hillary loaned herself another $6.4 million in the last month, in addition to the $5 million she never paid back.
MEGAN: Despite the $10 million she raised in 2 hours after Pennsylvania
MOE: Yeah apparently she said something along the lines of, "Forget post-racial, the Clinton argument has become post-rational."
MOE: And then there was that amazing appendage comment.
MEGAN: The appendage comment?
MOE: It's referenced here. Regarding the math. You know: Well, if she manages to reason with all the superdelegates, and wins 72% of the delegates in the remaining races, and engineers some strategy whereby Michigan and Florida take on Obama before the Supreme Court, and Operation Chaos ramps up, then she can still... And then some dude was like "And if my aunt had a male appendage, she'd be my uncle."
MEGAN: Oh, right. Also, Hillary needs 72% or so of the remaining vote to retake the pledged delegate lead including Florida and Michigan, according to MSNBC.

MOE: Is this why we are finding this boring now?
MOE: I mean, he couldn't have had a more negative news week.
MOE: Oh shit, and PEGGY NOONAN WAS RIGHT AGAIN
MEGAN: Obama? I mean, I suppose it could come out that he beat someone or had gay tendencies or something, but barring that, it wasn't a good news week.

MEGAN: But I think the beneficial thing about the 24 hour news cycle is that eventually 95% of people tune out and nothing pundits say matter anyway, which is why most people are just happy to not hear about Reverend Wright anymore.

MOE: One thing I didn't quite understand that I learned from the New York Post is that last night Obama picked up 69 delegates to Hillary's 63, which seemed...uh...a little off. But I don't do math.
MEGAN: In North Carolina?
MEGAN: No, I think that's just wrong.

MEGAN: CNN says Obama picked up 64 in NC and 38 in Indiana, and Hillary got 44 and 41, respectively. I can't do math, but I think the NYP is wrong.
MOE: that's 85 for hillary and 103 for obama
MOE: So yeah
MEGAN: Mere bloggers have proved actualy journalists wrong. The world might need to stop turning on its axis.

MOE: Ah, there you are! Keeping yourself "busy" hee hee?
MEGAN: Yeah, just reading this story about puppies and love and how kind of fucked up our government is.
MOE: ooooooooh Iraq puppies!!! Dammit I totally referenced another Iraq dogs story yesterday written by my ex housemate Yochi Dreazen, but now I can't find it!
Ok, question: how come I keep seeing polling data from Pennsylvania saying Clinton's winning HUGE there but I keep not, seeing polling data from Texas, which happens like a whole six weeks before? And why is she so popular in Ohio?
MEGAN: Wow, I even went to this site that links to every damn poll and there really isn't any data on Texas. That's too weird. Do people in Texas just refuse to talk to pollsters or something?
MOE: Uhhhhhh, that would. be like some weird Texas motto. No vibes is good vibes etc. etc.
I still can't believe they outlawed sex toys.
MEGAN: I dunno, sometimes men get jealous of sex toys? I have a friend who felt really awkward when his girlfriend brought one home, maybe the Texas legislature is just filled with really insecure men?
MOE: I mean, Virginia has a law banning "obscene items." It would be one thing to just go banning, like, those weird sucky things shaped exactly like vaginas, or vibrators shaped like massive schlongs, and other things that scare me. But for them to ban ALL SEX TOYS OUTRIGHT FOR EVER AND EVER...that has to violate some amendment with a number smaller than 14!
MEGAN: I think it's definitely violative of my religious freedoms. But, I do agree that male masturbatory aids are a little disturbing, like, is it really sexy to stick one's dick in a molded plastic vadge that one is holding?
MOE: You know what I never got for the longest time were the limp dicks. And then I realized they were for "packing." That has got to be a pretty niche industry. But let us go back to electoral politics since it's been like a whole day and
I love it when conservatives unleash their closet atheists on charismatic liberals. Also am I the only person who did not know Chuck Krauthammer was Canadian?
9:21 AM MEGAN: Krauthammer is Canadian?
9:22 AM MOE: Somehow? I would Nexis every column he's ever written on health care, but not bothering.
I'm going to put it out there that I had a few epiphanies last night!
9:23 AM One is that if Obama wins the nomination it means no boomers on the ballot.
9:24 AM MEGAN: Whoa.
If I had any last night, I forgot them when I sobered up.
But that's kind of mind-blowing.
MOE: No Boomers, who came into their political perspectives in an era so politically charged that it's almost possible to separate them from their visceral reactions to the sixties. Boomers, with the chief tension within all of their lives being the struggle between the weird youthful combination of idealism and hedonism and the cynical, realpolitik selloutathon that followed. None of their sixties hangups or seventies post traumatic crises. And like, that is a big relief. Because I actually think the opposition to Hillary had less to do with her being a woman than her being a Boomer, and the manifestation of all of the compromising under the guise of having it all or whatever. Actually I'm really hung over, but this idea made a lot of sense last night.
MEGAN: I'm pretty hung over, too, actually.
MOE: The thing was that Hillary came of age in an era that made her a Democrat. In any other era, it is very easy to see her rising to the Senate as a moderate Republican. But her peers shaped her political beliefs. And her peers did their part to shape the political beliefs of pretty much every other motherfucking member of that generation with the possible exception of clueless drunktards like the current occupant of the White House.
With Obama and McCain, on the other hand, their political coming of age was more their own. Independent, with their views shaped largely by their own, you know, "journeys."
Or whatever, by their fathers.
Their daddy issues.
MEGAN: When I'm drunk, my thoughts are things like "I'm hungry" and "He's cute." Maybe I need to start drinking different things to achieve your level of thought.
MOE: Oh haha these are thoughts I had before I got drunk.
Actually they are thoughts I had when I called my mom.
MEGAN: Phew, I feel totally better now. Well, except for the fact that I didn't call my mothers.
MOE: the story about the Kuciniches reminded me grossly enough of my parents.
MEGAN: I have no response to that.
MOE: And so I called them, and my mom informed me happily that she saw sooooo many black people at our polling place ("I've never seen a black person at that polling place!") that she felt like Obama was safe and that she could vote for McCain and keep Huckabee at bay.
It was also a decision, she confided, that had been informed by some recent PBS special on Karl Rove.
"Such a sinister figure."
But anyway both she and my dad for the first time, were like, soooo excited in a happy way to talk about politics. so excited about the possibilities!
And it was just like, wow, you know what? We finally have the distinct possibility of an election in which the MOTHERFUCKING SIXTIES IS NOT ON TRIAL.
THANK YOU ALLAH.
MEGAN: Or, maybe, one in which voter turnout is higher than 40 percent? Because that would be equally cool.
MOE: What is more, one in which both Rush Limbaugh and Al Sharpton have been rendered irrelevantish!
MEGAN: That, too, would be cause for celebration. Al should've endorsed sooner.
MOE: No shit! PUSSY.
Oh wait, so amidst all the hopes and dreams and shit.
Yesterday's campus shooter was a sociology major. With "very good marks." WTF.
MEGAN: I was a Sociology major and got really good grades. I agree that those are irrelevant facts to the question of why he walked into a geology lecture and shot the place up.
But, apparently, the school won't confirm his name to the hordes of press that have descended, so they have to write something.
MOE: You know who else was a sociology major was that weird feminist turned misogynist law student. But blah blah digress. Anyway, I think we can all agree that school shootings are terrible and confusing and you never seem to find out enough about them until another one happens and you google "what the hell ever happened with so-and-so school shooting", only hopefully with better search terms, and then you either learn some heartbreaking twisted story of some kid who was just depressed and lost and made insane by his surroundings, or a total psychopath. Oh FUCK the hangover is setitng in. Um...
I think I should probably bring up Daniel Ortega's endorsement of Barry Obama
Yesterday Hunter Walker and I were IM-ing (sober) about the impact of Obama vs. McCain on foreign policy etc.
Both spent some formative years in Southeast Asia!
HW thinks McCain is completely a creature of PTSD, which is totes true!
But whatever, ORTEGA. Makes me want to listen to the Clash.
MEGAN: I saw the Ortega thing, which I'm sure will sit TOTALLY well with conservative voters. He's like, Messican or something, right?

MOE: Oh! Go to mccainblogette.com and react to the hot or notness of Megan mccain's brother would you dear?
MEGAN: At first I looked and went, eh, a little fratty and blonde for my taste and then I read this: "I speak broken Farsi, Japanese, Spanish and some Afrikaans" and swooned.
Also, he loves cooking and is a published poet. I'm guessing that he's single, and hoping cute girls read his sister's blog.
MOE: He's totes not my type but he also seems sweet and harmless and openminded and uh also in the naval academy!
Do you think John McCain would be a democrat if not for his PTSD?
I guess only GOD can know for sure!!
But we have to read those two fathers books. Yesterday I totally tried to order the McCain one when I was drunk. I hope I failed.
MEGAN: I think he'd probably be more Republican-y if not for the PTSD and opposition to torture and stuff.
MOE" Oh see, that's where Hunter Walker's theory is interesting.
Hunter (in his infinite 22 year old wisdom) thinks that McCain's PTSD is the reason he is such a hawk.
MEGAN" See, if he'd switched from being a Dem or something, I might buy that. But, since his hawkishness survived a POW camp, I'm sticking with his maverickishness comes from the PTSD.

MOE: OMG THANK GOD YOU'RE BACK HUGE DAY HUGE DAY. How's your car? And happy new year
MEGAN: happy new year! and, it's not in great shape
i barely passed the inspection i was supposed to have had done last month and, given that cops drive my my place constantly, i didn't want a ticket for a lapsed inspection on top of everything else
MOE: Oh my god srsly. This one time when I lived in LA I was driving around and got, like, arrested for having a missed inspection. Or not arrested but they insisted on towing my car. Whatever. CARS. I hear those come in handy in places like IOWA.
MEGAN: almost as useful as tractors!
MOE: We have like nineteen minutes but annoying michael moore non-endorsement of anyone out. He likes Hillary but she refused to be interviewed by him for Rolling Stone so he doesn't like her. He likes Kucinich but Kucinich is endorsing Obama. He doesn't like Obama because he "doesn't think Wall Street is such a bad place" although that's sort of unsourced. He likes Edwards because he fell hook line and sinker for that fucking "corporate greed" line, which is admittedly a good line, but corporate greed is directly responsible for why John Edwards has made so much $$$$ suing corporations that he can now lavish buying votes in Iowa which he has been doing for the past four years.
MEGAN: At least he's not endorsing Ron Paul?
Also, Hillary Clinton is the love of Michael Moore's life? Way to beat the charges that you traffic in hyperbole, Michael
MOE: Ugh the statement bothered me so much. For one thing, insurance companies are really nowhere near as evil as pharmaceutical companies, they're just an easier target.
And seriously, corporations are not inherently greedy but, ehhhhh, that's another story I guess. Did you read To Be Young And In Love With Ron Paul??? I skimmed.
MEGAN: It doesn't surprise me that they smell bad?
Wait, I'm still skimming? They can't drink, toke or fuck? They're really just high on life?

MOE: Yeah they're total losers now I understand why you hate them in other news what REALLY SERIOUSLY REALLY FUCKING BOTHERS ME about Michael Moore, back to Michael Moore — who I love, by the way — but this statement:

Sen. Obama has a big heart, and that heart is in the right place. Is he electable? Will more than 50% of America vote for him? We'd like to believe they would. We'd like to believe America has changed, wouldn't we?

"A black candidate doesn't want to look like he's only a black candidate," the Rev. Al Sharpton, the civil rights activist, who ran for president in 2004, said in an interview about Mr. Obama. "If he overidentifies with Sharpton, he looks like he's only a black candidate. A white candidate reaches out to a Sharpton and looks like they have the ability to reach out. It looks like they're presidential. That's the dichotomy."

11 minutes
MOE: I forgot about Tawana. That just made me think of Tawana Iverson. That was her name right? Allen's wife. And her weird fruity cousin who made up all this shit about how he was a wifebeater. And how the Philly cops bought it hook, line and sinker. Because Iverson was an ungrateful thug who didn't go to practice. And yeah they were racist, but not irredeemably racist. A lot of black folks thought Iverson was a nogood thugpunk whatever too. And I dunno, I personally think Iverson just had some demons; he was a really interesting wiry little dude who would have been happier playing in the days of Magic Johnson and Larry Bird, back when basketball was a true team sport, with honor etc. etc., before the nine-figure sneaker contract he got bc little kids identified w. his realness and little kids had no way to really understand that buying a hundred dollar pair of sneakers is the ultimate way to express one's realness. I'm going off the rails now, but I think the thing that Barack Obama understands that Michael Moore does not is that no one is irredeemably racist. Or greedy. Even corporations. We are all at some level complicit in the system that got us here and the failure is of government to provide an adequate balance to all of it. There is no ENEMY.
MEGAN: The enemy is us? Yeah, that seems about right.
MOE: I mean, if I learned anything from The Devil Wears Prada it's that not even Anna Wintour is the enemy.
MEGAN: Because she brought turquoise back? I'm cool with that. I look nice in blue.
MOE: Ooooh, that reminds me, on New Years I made a frantic shopping trip to Urban Outfitters and I bought a dress with COLORS. I don't really wear colors. But it was on sale.
MEGAN: How very un-New York of you. Virginia must've rubbed off on you.
MOE: I know, right? And I saw my friend Susie last night, who used to be the Beijing correspondent at TIME and is now taking time off to, like, go to SCHOOL and learn new things and shit. And I remembered that living in a society where everyone wears the same fucking thing in the same drab colors... I mean, I might be okay with that, but most people get really bored by socialism.
MEGAN: Socialism, and winter.

[New York, December 26. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

In the past, TMZ referred to Victoria Beckham, aka Posh Spice, as "poshtitute," Hulk Hogan's daughter a "working girl" and called Lindsay Lohan's trashy ensemble a "HO-rror." A tight mini-dress is a tight mini-dress! We ask you, should the word "ho" be banned? Or only in reference to Black women? Isn't the context in which a word is used almost as important, if not more so, than the actual word?

• Isaiah Washington — for the love of God — please keep your mouth shut. The latest from everyone's favorite fired homophobe? That ABC lied when saying that he had gone to rehab since "there is no rehab for homophobia." (Thanks to Slut Machine for this awesome graphic.) [People]
  
• New studies show that domestic cats are descended from 5 female cats from the Middle East's Fertile Crescent region, approx. 100,000 years ago. Middle East? Maybe this why they coined the term 'catfight'? [BBC]
  
• God save the Queen! Literally! Buckingham Palace will crumble into decay unless immediate emergency repairs are made. [BBC]
  
• Okay it's official: Every consumer product that comes from China is fucked. [CNN]

• Today's good news for theh animals: The bald eagle is no longer considered 'endangered'. (Just in time for 4th of July!) We brim with patriotism. [CNN]
• Today's bad news for animals: Mitt Romney once strapped the family dog to the roof of the car during a trip from Boston to Ontario. [ABC News]
• How (yawn) surprising! Democratic presidential candidates are all trying to secure the African-American vote. We don't know about you, but we make no decisions 'til Al Sharpton says we can. [MSNBC]
• The legality of veganism: Now being debated in a divorce court near you! [ABC News]
• 1 U.S. casualty identified today. [DoD]