On the surface, the amendment, attached to a defense appropriations bill, may seem a little complicated. It seems less so when you learn why it's necessary. Former Halliburton/KBR employee Jamie Leigh Jones says she was drugged by her coworkers and gang-raped so brutally that she awoke "with lacerations to her vagina and anus, blood running down her leg, her breast implants ruptured and her pectoral muscles torn‚ which would later require reconstructive surgery." She was then locked in a shipping container, presumably to keep her from testifying, and her rape kit and other evidence went mysteriously "missing." When she tried to sue, she was informed that her contract required her to address the allegations in arbitration instead, a process which FishbowlLA's Pandora Young says "overwhelmingly favors the employers." The Guardian also spoke with two other women whose claims of assault or harassment had been ignored by Halliburton/KBR.

Not dealing with companies that actively keep rape victims from justice seems, Stewart says, like a "slam dunk." But not for Sen. Jeff Sessions. He says,

Instead of eliminating arbitration, we should probably be looking for ways to utilize mediation and arbitration more in these kind of disputes.

Makes sense — after all, it's really important for rape victims and the companies that hold them in locked shipping containers while disposing of evidence come to an amicable settlement in a friendly, non-litigious atmosphere. Bonus points if that atmosphere is controlled by the company, as opposed to an impartial court. Because since outsourcing the Iraq war to Halliburton worked so well, we might as well outsource the settlement of rape claims to them too.

Sessions also calls Franken's bill "a political amendment [...] representing a sort of political attack directed at Halliburton." As Stewart points out, this accusation rings a bit hollow, especially since four of the Senators who voted against Franken's bill recently spoke out in favor of an amendment to withdraw government funding from Acorn. Of that amendment, Sen. Richard Shelby said "we've got to get corruption out of any organization that's taking taxpayers' money" — apparently that applies only if those organizations are, you know, liberal. But the real money quote comes from Stewart: "If to protect Halliburton, you have to side against rape victims, you might want to rethink your allegiances."

'The Daily Show' Examines Republican Opposition To Anti-Rape Bill [FishbowlLA]
Rape Case To Force US Defence Firms Into The Open [Guardian]

• Researchers have found that the children born to mothers that have undergone weight loss surgery are healthier than older siblings born before the procedure. The younger siblings were found to have improved heart health and a lower risk of obesity. • A Sudanese judge has ruled that journalist Lubna Hussein, who was arrested in July for wearing pants, will not be flogged (flogging is a legal punishment for indecency). Hussein is still facing a $200 fine, which she is not planning on paying. "I will not pay a penny. I won't pay, as a matter of principle," she said. •  Health workers at a clinic in rural Peru were frustrated at the low rate of births taking place inside the clinic (only 6%), and so they decided to ask local women what they were doing wrong. The mothers were happy to help. The clinic will now respect traditional practices, ensure that they have a doctor on hand who speaks the local language, and allow relatives to stay and help with the birthing process. • Celebrity polar bear Knut is getting a new pal: Giovanna, a female polar bear from Munich. However, since both bears are not yet sexually mature, there is little chance they will consummate their relationship. • Scientists are attempting to pin down gender differences in brain function, yet even the study of the brain does not provide an easy way out of the "old nature/nurture dilemma." What they found is something many have long suspected: "Individuals' gender traits-their preference for masculine or feminine clothes, careers, hobbies and interpersonal styles-are inevitably shaped more by rearing and experience than is their biological sex." • Al Franken has a cool party trick, which he recently displayed at the Minnesota State Fair. Click here for a video of Franken drawing the entire US map from memory. • Women in Australia are in luck: the Bluetongue Brewery plans to hire 10 to 15 professional beer tasters in the next year. And since women apparently make better tasters, they are looking for boozy broads to fill the open positions. • This weekend, Linda Rice became the first woman to win a training title at Saratoga. Rice has been training since 1987, but this is the first time she has taken home a title. • An op-ed from this Sunday's New York Times argues that the cyberbullying laws under which Lori Drew was tried are "too vague to be constitutional." • The mayor of German border town Vierlinden has announced plans to deter prostitutes from gathering on the B1 motorway through the use of butyric acid, which apparently smells like vomit and body odor. • In October 2007, Afghan journalist Sayed Perwiz Kambakhsh was jailed for blasphemy after she was caught downloading an internet article about women's rights. A few weeks ago, President Hamid Karzai finally pardoned Kambakhsh, and she has since been freed. • The Justice Department is urging a Santa Ana court to toss out a lawsuit that challenges President Obama's Constitutional qualifications to be president. The birthers' suit claims that Obama was not born in Hawaii and is a citizen of Indonesia, and "possibly still citizen of Kenya." • A Jewish community leader has condemned the AIDS awareness ad that features a man intended to represent Hitler in the throes of passion, saying that it both unsuccessful and offensive. We agree. • Feministing features an interesting video about gender and language. The Hariri Foundation introduced a program that replaced words that are generally read as masculine with accents that mark them as feminine. More here. • As of today, Girl Scouts will now be able to earn a new patch for "preparedness." "This new preparedness patch will increase citizen preparedness and enhance our country's readiness for disasters," said Homeland Security Department Secretary Janet Napolitano. • Farmers in India are facing increasing hardships as crops fail and debts pile up, which has caused many impovrished farmers to take the drastic measure of selling their wives. According to some reports, as many as several thousand men have sold their wives to money lenders, who then transfer the marriage contract to a third party. •

• You can also buy a book that allows you to put your dick in a hole, if you have one, since some men have the need to make everything about their dicks. • The Wall Street Journal investigates the pink taxi service launched in Beirut in March, which provides a safe mode of transportation for women. Many Muslim women, who are barred from riding in cars with men other than their husbands or relatives, find the service especially helpful. • Mazen Abdul Jawad was arrested in Saudi Arabia earlier this month for bragging about his sex life on the Lebanese television show "Red Lines." He reportedly discussed his enjoyment of sex and how he lost his virginity at age 14. According to a Saudi daily newspaper, Abdul Jawad has issued a public apology about his behavior. • Sheila C. Bair, chairman of the FDIC, on her side career as a writer: "I discovered children's picture books when I had children and began reading to them. I loved the combination of the written word and a visual depiction... That gave me the idea to write children's books that would educate children about finance. I thought it could be a powerful way to convey information to children, and that parents would pick it up, too." • Nearly 71 percent of cats live in multiple cat households, so there are a lot of people unhappy with the "crazy cat lady" moniker. • Chief justice Abdul-Raoul Halabi of Gaza said on Monday that he plans on instituting a ban on female lawyers who do not dress in accordance with Islamic law when the court returns from summer recess in September. Women will be required to wear a headscarf and a long, dark colored cloak in order to appear in court. • The Hindustan Times reports on the sad truth of child marriages in India. Despite the 2006 Prohibition of Child Marriages Act, almost every child in the village of Kachoulia is "married," usually to a much older husband. • An Amnesty International report shows that the recent full ban on abortion in Nicaragua is causing women and girls to kill themselves, be deprived of treatment for cancer and AIDS and carry unwanted children to term — even their own half-siblings. The government and Catholic Church continues not to care. • According to a recent study released by the nonprofit Catalyst, 75% of women of color working in U.S. law firms are likely to leave their jobs within the next five years because of job dissatisfaction that results from the the unique barriers minority groups face. The Chicago Sun Times put it a slightly different way: "75% bail within 5 years due to barriers." • Crazy Congresswoman Michelle Bachmann thinks that Obama's health reform plans are just an effort to make us more like Cuba. Yes, Michelle Bachmann thinks: she doesn't do so with any insight or logic. • Crazy Oklahoma Senator James Inhofe's spokesman says "His focus is on issues" rather than the comments he made legitimizing the Obama birther nonsense. • White American Congressman Thaddeus McCotter wants to get Congress to make the President apologize to the white cop that arrested Henry Louis Gates inside his Harvard home. Earlier this year, Congress apologized for slavery 146 years after the Emancipation Proclamation. • A baby bit Al Franken and there's a picture. • Researchers from the University of Chicago and John Hopkins University found that divorce and widowhood have a lasting detrimental impact on health. This may be due in part to increased stress over shared child care, and the decreased income of a single-parent household. •

Jenny Sanford has not been terribly cooperative with the media. When, we wonder, will we get the confessional, the tearful appearance, the angry tirade we're clearly ready to believe? Since, amazingly, she hasn't felt like doing this in the ten days since her world came crashing down, we're forced to search for clues - the reliable "friends and family" (who seem to think she's okay) and, obviously, the wardrobe. This is tricky, because unlike the tight-lipped spouses who resentfully stand by their men in a comfort armor of pearls and suiting - de facto First Lady Wear - Sanford has continued to dress as she did before the furor, in a relaxed vacation wardrobe that gives nothing away. But aha! According to the Washington Post's Robin Givhan, this is in fact more revealing: There is, she says

"something splendidly defiant in the wardrobe Jenny Sanford, the wife of Gov. Mark Sanford, has been wearing the past few days...when she appeared before the cameras she was dressed like she'd just come in from a leisurely bike ride amid the wildflowers, during which she did not perspire. Mrs. Sanford did not look stern or brokenhearted. Mostly, she seemed about as aggravated as if she'd run out of sunscreen. One photograph has her in white pedal pushers and a blue paisley peasant blouse. In another, she's again wearing white shorts but this time with a coral-colored, flower-print tunic. Another photograph catches her in the kind of loose-fitting paisley tunic one might wear over a swimsuit. She's wearing sunglasses, carrying a large shoulder bag and showing a little thigh. But what's most noticeable is that she's not looking like a constrained  or strained  political wife who uses clothes like a suit of armor. Instead, it's just the opposite. She comes across as a woman set free. Everything about her style is breezy.

The hieroglyphics of a public woman's grooming are complex, the paparrazzi archive is our Rosetta stone. When we feel for her - or are supposed to - a woman's blithe relaxation can be a sign of empowerment and independence. But how about when the shoe's on the other foot? Take the reviled Ruth Madoff. One rarely reads an account of her in which her impeccable presentation is referenced - "carefully groomed," a New York feature calls her, while Madoff's secretary described her as "meticulous." Now, we gleefully read about her gray roots and her demotion to jeans. This deterioration is regarded, not as a sign of a liberation from a charade, but as the cracks in the careful facade. Says New York,

In the public eye, Ruth has come to represent the spoils of her husband's criminal activity: The lifestyle, the furs and jewelry, the fancy hair salon, the clinking glasses at parties, the trips around the world-they all seemed like they were her domain, orchestrated and enjoyed more by her than by the stone-faced, withdrawn Bernie. It didn't matter that Ruth came from modest beginnings; something about the way she carried herself-her highlighted hair, the upturned collar and petite physique-played into the stereotype of the pampered, free-spending wife.

There's similarly little to go on with both women - both have been media-shy, giving terse sentences and avoiding the press, while newshounds depend on guarded, or gleeful, statements from tenuous acquaintances. One is a victim, one an accomplice - or so they are perceived in the popular imagination, whatever the reality of Madoff's situation. Sanford promptly distanced herself from her husband's tax-fueled antics; Ruth has failed to renounce her ill-gotten gains to anyone's satisfaction. The women have nothing in common save an accident of time-frame and a distaste for the public eye. So why are both reduced to their grooming?

Maybe it's because they're both figures who are defined, for us, in relation to their husbands. Weirdly, while Sanford has thrown his wife under the "soul mate" bus, Madoff has done his damndest to keep his wife out of it, whatever her crimes - is part of it our contempt for letting someone protect her? Maybe a part of the collective consciousness feels, unfairly or not, that if we are to accept these women as living on their husband's terms, they have earned this kind of superficial, traditionally feminine scrutiny. Whatever the reason, there's something depressing about it. But here's something that, through all the mishigas, has managed to consistently put a smile on my face: Franni Franken. Franken is obviously not a political wife by vocation; she's a free-spirited woman who dresses like my mom - which is to say, acreatively-tinged boomer. And yet, check her out on the podium when Al spoke to the press about his election: she was in a First Lady costume! A boxy, Chanel-style suit and a scarf, less! It looked completely strange, and unnatural, and yet was unspeakably endearing. Probably because, at the end of the day, it actually had nothing to do with who she is, said nothing about who she is, save that she's new to politics and is trying to match the dress code. She was smiling and laughing and totally unguarded, and as a result, you didn't need to analyze the clothes, any more than you would a man's suit. And that was refreshing.

In Hubby's Time Of Trouble, She Can't Be Bothered [Washington Post]
How is Jenny Sanford coping? [GMA via Politico]
Poor Ruth [New York]
What The Secretary Saw [Vanity Fair]
Daily Show [Min 21]

That whole idea that if these guys just understood the public outrage, they'd voluntarily give their bonuses up? Ain't gonna happen. Even their big boss pronounced himself disappointed that he can't rescind the payments because they are a contractually-obligated "retention payment," though New York State Attorney General Andrew "Shucking And Jiving Is Not A Racist Term" Cuomo found out that 11 of the dudes who got "retention payments" weren't actually retained. Oh, and TPMMuckraker discovered that, once upon a time, AIG used to just fire assholes who demanded their contractually-obligated bonuses. [Crooks & Liars, The Hill, NY Times, LA Times, TPMMuckraker]


Dana Perino thinks everyone's just being mean to hard-working, middle-class Americans when we crap on the AIG executives' multi-million dollar bonuses. [ThinkProgress]


Oregon Senator Ron Wyden wants to know who stripped out his provision from the original bailout bill that would have capped all bonuses at $100,000. I'm curious about that myself, given that everyone is swearing that no one really knew these massive, contractually-obligated, gonna-cost-the-taxpayers-$1-billion-to-forego bonuses were coming. [Huffington Post]


And although the new rage in Washington is taxing the shit out of any AIG exec stupid enough to take a bonus (Cuomo says we'll know your names soon!), House Ways and Means Committee Chairman Charlie Rangel is having none of that. He says that the tax code shouldn't be used for political purposes. Now who is going to go out and investigate how much money AIG execs have donated to Charlie's precious CUNY building honoring Charlie? Bueller? [Huffington Post]


George W. Bush is keeping it classy: he says that Obama deserves to not be criticized by him. That's why he's having Dick Cheney, Dana Perino, Ari Fleischer and Karl Rove do it for him. [MSNBC]


Obama, meanwhile, is about to sign off on the UN declaration that LGBT people shouldn't be jailed and killed for their sexual orientation that Dubya wasn't a fan of because he was worried it might keep us from discriminating against LGBT people here. Duh. It is sort of the point. [Huffington Post]


The new Washington rumor is that Congresswoman Ellen Tauscher may be headed to the State Department to become the Undersecretary for Arms Control and Nonproliferation. But how will she host awesome holiday parties? [Washington Post, Wonkette]


Arlen Specter may run as an Independent so that people in Pennsylvania forget he's a Republican and vote for him anyway. Hey, it worked for Joe Lieberman. [The Hill]


Al Franken wants Norm Coleman to pay his legal bills when he becomes the second Democratic Senator from Minnesota. It's funny to think that all the Republicans who donated cash money to Norm Coleman will see it end up in Al Franken's pockets. [Star-Tribune]


Kim Jong Il has decided he doesn't need our stinkin' food. His people, well, that's another story, but when did he ever give a shit about them anyway? [Newser]

Star Magazine is reporting that Bristol Palin has dumped Levi Johnston's sorry ass because his family is trashy and her mom is overbearing, which nobody saw coming. The Obama Administration and Charles Freeman, their nominee to head the National Intelligence Council, have also parted ways after a successful lobbying campaign to oust him by conservative Israeli lobbying groups. He's not really happy about it, but it does kind of prove his point about the disproportionate power that the lobbying interests for a foreign government have on American soil. Meanwhile, the teachers unions are trying to pretend that Obama isn't creating some emotional distance between them by talking about merit pay because, apparently, if you pretend that it's not inevitable, it won't hurt as much. But just like the unions' card check bill, which is rapidly losing the commitment of its followers now that it might really become a law, you can't ignore the reality of the end of a relationship anymore than Obama can ignore the fact that his budget might be DOA, earmark reform or no earmark reform.

Meghan McCain, however, is continuing to prove that she's one of the few Republicans with the intestinal fortitude to stand up to the likes of Ann Coulter while her compatriots in political arms are already talking about ousting Michael Steele in April, letting George "Macaca" Allen run for statewide office in Virginia again and rolling out dozens of old faces for the 2010 midterms as part of their commitment to being the new Republican party. That shit's almost as crazy as letting a bank the U.S. government had to bail out to the tune of billions of dollars consult on remaking the Iraqi banking sector.

But Tim Geithner is promising a new capitalism, we're getting a new drug czar but he's not getting a Cabinet ranking and the Minnesota Senatorial race might actually be resolved before 2010. Just kidding, Minnesota's only going to have one Senator from now on because everyone's seen Al Franken in a gold lamé Speedo and no one wants that in Congress. (That's what the pages are for.)

• Governor Rod Blagojevich rammed his head more throughly up his ass and found someone to join him: former Illinois Attorney General Roland Burris, who is Blago's new appointment to Barack Obama's Senate seat. [Washington Post]

• But the current Secretary of State Jesse White would have to certify the Burris appointment, which he's reportedly saying he won't do, which is good because there's basically maybe no other way to stop Burris from heading to the Senate.. [Politico]
• Obama ain't happy. [Politico]
• Neither are Senate Democrats in general, who plan to move to block the appointment however they can even if, like most things the Senate Democrats have done in the last decade, it is ultimately ineffective and all for show. [CNN]
• Political analysts all breathed a sigh of relief that they could finally stop talking about Gaza. [BBC News]
• That includes Joe Scarborough, who got the shit kicked out of him by co-host Mika Brzezinski's dad Zbigniew Brzezinski on the issue this morning. [Huffington Post]
• The Clintons will be watching the ball drop in Times Square, which basically just proves they aren't real New Yorkers. [Associated Press]
• Vicki Iseman, who the New York Times totally implied in a long article was fucking John McCain without any evidence is suing the shit out of everyone involved. [Wall Street Journal]
• Franken's up in the Minnesota recount by about the margin Nate Silver said he would be back in the day, so Franken will totally be seated as Senator before he has to run for re-election. Probably. [Huffington Post]

• DC artist Chris Bishop has created this extremely prescient image of the inauguration in T-shirt form for all your speech-watching needs. [Chris Bishop via Boing Boing]

• Sarah Palin's eldest daughter, Bristol gave birth yesterday: The 7 lb., 4 oz. boy's name is Tripp. [As in Linda? -Ed.] [People]
• The Joint Congressional Committee on Inaugural Ceremonies issued its Inaugural Ceremony advisory, which includes details like: it's going to be cold as fuck in DC; security will be tighter than a nipple clamp; lines will be longer than you dreamed possible; and you will wish to God you stayed home and blogged it drunk. That last part's actually mine. [Politico]
• Barack Obama's got an iPod, and the world has gone back to being explicable. [Silicon Valley Insider]
• Republicans mostly continue to pile on Chip "'Barack the Magic Negro' Is Funny" Saltsman because they don't want any more people thinking that all Republicans are racist. [CNN]
• Speaking of racists, former Presidential candidate of crazy Ron Paul wants you all to know that Social Security is a giant Ponzi scheme that if you had just been smart enough to vote for him he would have eliminated. But, since you didn't, Obama is going to regulate things in the name of freedom that won't make you feel any more free and it's actually less coherent than I just wrote it. [U.S. News & World Report]
• Minnesota Senator Amy Klobuchar thinks the Senate should temporarily swear in Al Franken before permanently doing so in 2010 or whenever the Minnesota Senate race is eventually decided. [The Hill]
• Rahm Emanuel will officially resign his Congressional seat on Friday and there are already 11 people running to replace him. [Chicago Sun Times]
• The Christmas season sucked so bad you should expect to see retail stores shuttering up and bankruptcies filed. [Bloomberg]

• The Bidens plan to add to their household by getting another puppy from the pound. Double puppy snuggles! [Huffington Post]

• Rod Blagojevich says he's, like, totally innocent and is definitely not going to resign so that he has something to offer prosecutors in his eventual plea deal [Politico]
• Hillary's pay cut is final. [CNN]
• In better news, she might create a post at the State Department for Iran outreach, without even insisting that Iran accede to all our demands first [Washington Independent]
• Plenty of people seem to be ticked about Ron Kirk's appointment to USTR because he's not anti-trade enough. [The Hill]
• James Carville is trying to get more donations for Media Matters, since it's difficult to raise money in this economic climate, and is using the conservatives linking Obama and Blagojevich to do it. [The Hill]
• Al Sharpton is defending the selection of Rick Warren to say a prayer at the inauguration, since he hasn't gotten enough media attention by meeting with Caroline Kennedy this week. [Huffington Post]
• Al Franken is up in the Minnesota Senate recount, though, which might end by 2010. [Think Progress]
• Bush unveiled his auto bailout, but Ford's not opting in [BBC]
• The National Portrait Gallery unveiled the portraits of George and Laura Bush. Laura's got some sort of soft focus thing going on that Barbara Walters hopes to patent in film-format soon. [National Portrait Gallery]

• Bill Clinton's donor list for his foundation and presidential library have been released. Yeah, there's all kinds of foreign government money on there, what did you expect? [Politico]

• Meanwhile, Barack Obama has asked Congresswoman Hilda Solis to become the Secretary of Labor, former Dallas mayor Ron Kirk to head up the U.S. Trade Representatives Office and plans to send Mary Schapiro to head the Securities and Exchange Commission. [Washington Post, Washington Post, Washington Post]
• Obama's also defending the selection of Rick Warren to deliver the invocation at his inauguration. [Associated Press]
• He might appoint the openly gay William White to be Secretary of the Navy. [Washington Independent]
• "Sources" are telling the media that Rahm Emanuel and Rod Blagojevich were never close. Quelle suprise. [The Hill]
• More surprising is that the Pentagon has noticed that more sexual assaults than are ever reported take place at its military academies  and they want to do something about making it easier on victims to come forward. [New York Times]
• Hey, they might actually finish the Minnesota Senate recount and Al Franken might really win. [Huffington Post]

• Clinton told her supporters to stop talking smack about Caroline Kennedy unless they're going to endorse someone else. She doesn't want people to believe it's coming from her. [Politico]

• Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid has weighed in with New York Governor David Paterson on Kennedy's behalf. [CNN]
• President Bush is backing his brother Jeb's nascent run for the soon-to-be-empty Florida Senate seat currently held by the retiring Mel Martinez. [The Hill]
• Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich wants the RNC to shut the fuck up already and pull its ads that misleadingly link Barack Obama to corrupt Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich. In case you're worried that he's siding with Obama, don't be worried: he's doing at part of the internecine warfare in the GOP. [Huffington Post]
• Hoping to take advantage of that warfare, Kansas Governor Kathleen Sebelius's withdrawal from Cabinet consideration leads some people to believe she might try to run for the Senate when Republican Senator Sam "Snowflake Baby" Brownback runs for her seat. [Politico]
• The 2008 Minnesota Senate race might even be done by then. [The Hill]
• A grand jury is investigating possible corruption in New Mexico that might ensnare Commerce Secretary nominee (and current governor) Bill Richardson. How grabby were those hands? [Huffington Post]
• Congressman Jesse Jackson Jr. says he's been snitching to the feds about Blagojevich since last summer, when Blagojevich held up Jackson's wife's appointment to a state board for political donations. [Huffington Post]
• Former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer thinks that being a columnist for Slate "sucks" because he used to be a governor. Hey, asshole, with all these media layoffs, I'll bet they could find someone who would happily write a column for them! (My e-mail is on the masthead, by the way). [Politico]

• Oprah Winfrey is talking her show on the road to D.C. during the Inauguration. Let the speculation begin about which members of the new Administration will be appearing. [Access Hollywood]
• Congress is going to pass a law to reduce the salary of the Secretary of State to block Republican efforts to keep Hillary Clinton from serving on Constitutional grounds. So much for pay equity in an Obama Administration. [Talking Points Memo]
• Al Franken says he's pulled ahead of Norm Coleman in the Minnesota Senate race. [Politico]

• Bill Richardson didn't win any points with Barack Obama when he showed up at the presser announcing his appointment sans beard. [Washington Post, CNN]
• But could the Commerce Department just be a stepping stone on Bill Richardson's path to his beloved State Department? [Washington Independent]
• Barack Obama told all the ambassadors appointed by Bush to be out by January 20th.There's no word whether the ambassadors to India or Pakistan might be staying on. [Washington Post]
• By the way, the Mumbai terrorists were high as shit on coke and LSD the entire time they were killing people. [Boing Boing]
• Possibly also high as shit was Karl Rove, who told a roomful of New Yorkers that George Bush is totally not the worst President in modern history. [Washington Times]
• Eliot Spitzer will begin penning a finance-and-government column for Slate. It won't talk about financing high-end sex with prostitution while being in government. [New York Observer via Attackerman]
• The anti Prop 8 folks get every actor you've ever seen to act in a musical. [Funny Or Die]

• The race for who will ultimately lose to New York Governor David Paterson's desire to appoint state Attorney General Andrew "Shucking And Jiving Is Not A Racist Phrase" Cuomo to Hillary Clinton's Senate seat is on! Bill Clinton, Nita Lowey and Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. are out, Caroline Kennedy might be in. [CNN, The Hill, New York Times, The New Republic]
• Senator Lisa Murkowski told Governor Sarah Palin not to even think about the 2010 primary, but plans to kick her designer-clad ass if she does. [Politico]
• Governor Bill McGrabbyhand Richardson will be your next Secretary of Commerce. [Washington Post]

• Los Angeles mayor Antonio Villaraigosa, imitating Clinton, Kennedy and Lowey, swears that he asked to not be considered by Obama for a Cabinet position.[LA Times]
• Al Franken might really be closing the gap in his never-ending race for Minnesota's Senate seat. [The Hill]
• A judge in Texas has thrown out the crazytown indictments against Dick Cheney and Alberto Gonzales, as if that were unexpected. [Huffington Post]
• The Canadian government is in turmoil because of the financial crisis, so the Prime Minister is going to try to get the Governor General to suspend Parliament while he cuts some commercials and this sounds all way more complicated than it probably needs to be. Hooray for the separation of powers. [Reuters]
• Still wondering why the financial crisis happened? Moe Tkacik digs out this little tidbit from the biography of former Treasury Secretary Paul O'Neill, when he tried to sell 19 financial sector CEOs on the Sarbanes-Oxley requirements that they sign off on their own financial statements: "I would resign rather than be expected to know everything that's going on in my company. It's just not tenable," said an unnamed financial-services CEO. "That's what I have a board for, that 's what I have a chief financial officer for. I simply can't be held responsible for what all of those people do." Well, I guess that explains it. [Slate]

• Armed gunman in India today attacked 7 different sites in Mumbai in a reported attempt to kill as many Americans and Brits as possible, not that they spared any Indians while they were killing. At least 78 people lost their lives. [Huffington Post]
• In addition, the FBI has information that al Qaeda may have discussed attacking subways and trains in and around New York City this holiday weekend. People in New York should expect an increased security presence. [Huffington Post]
• On the eve of a holiday dedicated to stuffing one's face with rich food, it is important to note that the number of Americans on food stamps is expected to reach an all time high this month. It's something to chew on with your turkey, and then give thanks that you're either not one of those Americans, or, if you are, that the anti-government Republicans didn't manage to dismantle at least that part of our important but much-maligned "welfare" state. [Washington Post]

• Al Franken today lost a fight to have 12,000 rejected absentee ballots counted during the recount in the Minnesota Senate race. [CNN]
• Noted John McCain fan Ayman al-Zawahiri is now complaining about the media's pro-Obama bias, while Republicans everywhere are sliently praying that he'll shut the fuck up again so they can go back to saying that. [Huffington Post]
• Hot Obama speechwriter Jon "Not that Jon Favreau" Favreau will keep his job writing speeches for Obama and his side gig in being hot. [NY Times]
• Obama has additionally launched a new website for Americans to discuss aspects of health care reform. Yes, you can. [Huffington Post, Change.gov]
• There is a woman in Ohio who keeps a blog devoted to Brian Williams' ties, which wouldn't totally be news because there's a blog for everything, only Brian Williams admits to peeking at it. He has not, however, changed his sartorial choices in the face of it. [Associated Press]
• MTV is throwing its own (televised) inaugural gala on Inauguration Night, which will be attended by "celebrities" and "government officials." This is not to be confused with any of the gazillion official Inaugural Balls that Barack and Michelle Obama will actually be attending. [Associated Press]
• Malia (10) and Sasha (7) Obama still send Christmas lists to Santa, so Barack Obama had to be careful not to spill the beans about who buys their gifts. Memo to Obama: Malia might know, but just not be willing to admit it. It's the curse of being the older daughter. [Associated Press]

• Hank Williams Jr., who we started studiously ignoring after he murdered our national anthem during a Palin rally, has decided that he's not quite done with being part of a losing campaign and will challenge Tennessee Senator Lamar Alexander in the primary for the 2010 race. [Politico]
• Miami-Dade Circuit Judge Cindy Lederman today threw out Florida's 31-year-old law prohibiting LGBT Floridians from adopting children, noting that there was no scientific evidence to support the ban and Florida allows LGBT people to foster children. The state plans to appeal. [Wall Street Journal]
• Barack Obama is adopting, too, and not just a puppy  he's adopting current Defense Secretary Robert Gates for his own Administration. [ABC News]

• Obama also named David Orszag, currently head of the Congressional Budget Office, to head up his Office of Management and the Budget. He will be the first blogger to join the Administration. [The Hill, Washington Post]
• One person who won't be part of the Administration is former CIA official John Brennan, who took himself out of the running for any Administration position after being pilloried on the blogosphere for stuff he wasn't a part of. [Washington Independent]
• If you were missing Sarah Palin, she's all over the news today, between receiving an award from Field and Stream, heading to Georgia to campaign for Saxby Chambliss and being laughed at by South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford. [Politico, New York Times, Huffington Post]
• Joe The Motherfucking Plumber is back on the teevees, too, hawking digital converter boxes. When will those two crazy kids ever get it together and admit they belong together... and out of my field of vision? [Wonkette]
• Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal hopes it's soon, so he can kick his Presidential campaign into high gear at last. Yeah, we're turning into that kind of political system. [LA Times]
• Not that this election is actually over yet, as Al Franken's just a little concerned that some officials are squirreling away valid ballots to keep Norm Coleman in office. You'd think it was a paranoid fantasy, but he's got video. [Politico]