• Has Lindsay Lohan turned over a new leaf? She says she's "going to India soon, before Thanksgiving hopefully," to film a BBC documentary on the trafficking of women and children.

• She says her mom is nervous about her trip, but she wants to go because, "I think it's important to have a voice when you have one." [Radar Online]
• Michael Lohan was on the Maury Povich show today trying to reach out to Lindsay. First he insulted her, calling her a "hollow person," then said there is "nothing left in her" and he "couldn't even look at her." He added, "I hate to speak out publicly like this..." As TMZ notes, this episode was called, "You're 14 ... Stop Lap Dancing and Trying to Get Pregnant"? Video here: [TMZ]
• When asked if she's excited that police have caught her alleged burglars, Lindsay said, "[That's] the most awkward question you could possibly ask. Yeah, I'm talking to the detectives, but it's nobody's business but my own." [E!]
• The father of Alexis Neiers, one of the four teenage girls arrested in connection with the recent celebrity burglaries, says, "She was in the wrong place at the wrong time, associating with the wrong people. She got sucked into this. We're standing by her. I'm sure [the case against her is] going to be thrown out of court." [People]
• A source claims Sienna Miller and Judge Law have been going on romantic dinner dates while they're both in New York performing on Broadway. A spokesman confirmed that they have met up, and the source says, "Sienna had her heart broken by Jude, but she was young and it was the first time she'd fallen in love. What people don't realise is that they always remained close, so who knows where this will lead to next." [Ok]
• Kate Gosselin's brother Kevin Kreider, his wife, Jodi Kreider, and attorney Gloria Allred are campaigning for a federal law to protect kids in reality shows. Jodi says the "Balloon Boy" story "makes it very clear that parents and people will do whatever they can do get on a reality show, kind of thinking that's a great way for quick fame." [CBS News]
• More weird Heene footage: in a video from about 10 years ago, Richard Heene tries to shove a cigar into his infant son Bradford's mouth so he can take a picture of him "smoking" and holding a beer bottle as Mayumi protests in the background. [TMZ]
• Lady Gaga says that when Beyonce called her and asked if she wanted to be in her video for "Video Phone" she said, "'What do you want to do?' And I'm like, 'I don't want to show up in some frickin' hair bow and be fashion Gaga in your video.' I said, 'I want to do you.'" She added, "I want to do my version of Beyoncé... So the whole time I was learning the choreography they were calling me Gee-yoncé." [MTV]
• Picewell Forbes publicly apologized for causing a mistrial in the John Travolta case. He didn't say who told him Pleasant Bridgewater had been acquitted but said, "My statements were reckless and interfered with the course of justice in that case and were further capable of bringing disrepute to the whole administration of justice." [AP]
• Michael Jackson's kids are having their own private screening of This Is It tonight. [TMZ]
• The Ali Forney Center, the nation's largest organization for homeless LGBT youth, has received a gift of $300,000 today from Bea Arthur's estate. The organization plans to buy a building to house 12 children whose families have thrown them out for being gay and name it in her honor. [Towleroad]
• Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner went right back to work after their wedding on Sunday, but they are planning a honeymoon in Africa for December. [People]
• Madonna and her four kids visited the orphanage in Malawi where her son David lived before she adopted him. [AP]
• Akon jumped off the stage and into the crown during a Melbourne concert last night to break up a fight. His promoter says, "The thing that I saw, and I was standing right next to him … He walked to a girl (involved in a fight) and walked to her and held her face and said, ‘You're better than that.'" [The Australian]
• Joe Francis is suing Brody Jenner and his girlfriend Jayde Nicole for battery, assault, negligence, slander, libel and false light. He claims that he only pulled Nicole's hair during their bar altercation in "self-defense" because she hit him in the head, threw a drink at him, and yelled "I'm going to kill you!" for no reason. [TMZ]
• The DA will not file charges against Joe Francis, Brody Jenner, or Jayde Nicole for their bar brawl. The D.A.'s report supports Francis' claim that the surveillance video shows that Jayde "appears to have acted without immediate provocation." Doesn't Girls Gone Wild count as provocation? [TMZ]
• Willem Dafoe says Tim Burton talked to him about playing The Joker in Batman, but he turned the role down and it went to Jack Nicholson. [Daily Express]
• At the link, Lost executive producer Damon Lindelof answers questions about the show's final season. [USA Today]
• On Thursday, Ante Up For Africa, a charity founded by Don Cheadle, is holding its second annual celebrity poker tournament to raise money to bring peace to Sudan. [CNN]
• Uh, wow. Author Martin Amis says he doesn't understand the fascination with Jordan because, "She has no waist, no arse ... an interesting face ... but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone." [The Telegraph]
• According to the Jonas Brothers' mom, Denise Jonas, "Nick is working on a solo act—it's called Nick Jonas and The Administration. Shhh! He's at the photo shoot for the album cover right now." [Parade]
• Taylor Lautner says he was motivated by "the movie and the fans," to put on 30 pounds of muscle for New Moon. "But I don't want to become known as just a body... If I had to choose, I would never take my shirt off again in a movie, but I guess that's not very realistic. I certainly won't be asking to do it, though." [People]
• "I'm always going to miss Oasis. It was my fucking thing, you know what I mean? It's who I am. But it's only a name," says Liam Gallagher. "Getting away from the whole Oasis thing is going to be a good thing I suppose. I don't want to do anything solo. I want to be in a band. But we can do things a lot differently these days. It'll definitely be rock 'n' roll." [The Sun]
• Mary-Louise Parker says adopting her 3-year-old daughter Caroline Aberash in 2007 was the "best decision I've ever made. She says, 'I love you, Mommy' and asks, 'Do you love me so much? She has a little bit of a speech delay; Amharic was her first language she heard. But she's really indomitable. She's really strong and she's like a little warrior. She's really amazing." [People]
• Q: What advice did your mom give you about dressing? Jane Lynch: "I like to wear my pajama bottoms and sweatshirts out to get coffee in the morning. She said to always dress like someone is going to take your picture, and every day is an opportunity to make an impression." [N.Y. Magazine]
• In a phone interview Tank Jones, Levi Johnston's manager, said of Levi posing for Playgirl, "He's pumped! He's ready to shock the world. The hell with fifteen minutes... As a matter of fact, when I picked him up, he came out the house naked. I said 'not now!'" Then Levi took the phone and said, "I just get naked. That's what I do." [Us]

• Chace Crawford has moved out of the NYC apartment he shared with Ed Westwick and into a penthouse way downtown.

Is Chace upgrading with his Footloose money? Well, this report claims that Ed is a slob, and Chace couldn't take the mess any more. Related: Anyone want to move in with Chuck Bass? [Us Magazine]

• Bradley Cooper gave Jennifer Aniston the "let's just be friends" speech, and she is "devastated." Allegedly. Consider the source on this, and the media's obsession with painting Jen as desperate and lonely. [MSNBC via National Enquirer]
• Emmy Rossum was Tweeting about her outfit for Jessica Simpson's birthday party at noon the day of the event, not knowing it was canceled due to Jess and Tony's breakup. [Gatecrasher]
• Here's a love autopsy, titled "Jessica and Tony's Relationship: What Went Wrong?" [People]
• Hermione gone wild! Emma Watson is really changing things up: She's set to star in a "Goth-inspired" remake of Cinderella, being masterminded by Marilyn Manson. [The Sun]
• Hayden Panettiere doesn't know how to let a guy down easy: "I'm not good at learning that sometimes you don't like someone in that way - and figuring out how to deal with that. I don't want to hurt his feelings." Just say: "It's not you, its me." [The Sun]
• UK tabloid rag Heat magazine conducted a poll for "most enviable body," and, surprise, surprise: Megan Fox won. [Mirror]
• A federal judge says Survivor winner Richard Hatch can't attend the 10th anniversary edition of the reality show in Samoa, since he's under home confinement. [NY Daily News]
• Has Debbie Rowe dropped her custody fight in exchange for $4 million? [NY Post]
• Uh-oh: Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa has returned from vacation and found that the councilwoman acting as mayor in his absence was urging people to donate money for Michael Jackson's memorial. Villaraigosa says: "This is a world-class city, and we provide fire and police protection, period. The idea that we would charge the family for a funeral is nonsensical." He called the donation website "ridiculous" and shut it down. [E!, AP]
• The coroner should have results from toxicology tests and should know Michael Jackson's cause of death by next week. [NY Daily News]
• Michael Jackson's estate is being handled by two men: attorney John Branca and recording executive John McClain. But an attorney for the Jackson family says that Katherine Jackson should be treated like a third trustee. [AP]
• "One of Michael Jackson's former housekeepers told law enforcement the singer was often in such bad shape from drugs his eyes would roll back in his head." [TMZ]
• Michael Jackson had planned to channel Fred Astaire on his This Is It tour. [Gatecrasher]
• Renée Zellweger's car and driver ditched her in the Hamptons over the weekend. [Page Six]
• Dylan McDermott has a new show about undercover cops, Dark Blue, He says: "My uncle was a cop and I used to ride around with him when I was a kid. There's something so powerful about it." If he were to go undercover and target a group, he's go for "Either the Mafia or the Aryan Brotherhood. I hope I'm as brave as [my character]. I don't think I'm in the same situations, living in Brentwood. It's the housewives that will eventually take you down. They're more dangerous than any gang." [USA Today]
• Kim Cattrall and her younger boyfriend: Dunzo. [Perez]
• Denzel Washington has withdrawn from the film Unstoppable after budget and start date issues. He would have been playing a veteran engineer who tries to help a young conductor (Chris Pine) stop a runaway train. [Variety]
• Is Akon dodging legal papers in a paternity case? [E!]
• A man named Anthony Spinner claims he created the TV show Lost — 32 years ago. [TMZ]
• Overachiever! Aidan Gillen played a Baltimore mayor on The Wire, and he's actually a former Dublin altar boy. [Guardian]
• Speaking of The Wire, there was fatal gunfire at a Brooklyn bash hosted by actor Jamie Hector — who played drug dealer Marlo Stanfield on the show. Hector says: "I would like to make it clear that the shooting incident [Sunday] did not take place at my home, nor did it involve me, my wife, nor any of the invited guests. [NY Daily News]
• Check it out: Tony Curtis filled out the Proust Questionnaire. He says his greatest fear is "People might not remember me." And his motto is "Fuck 'em and feed 'em fish." [Vanity Fair]
• Trudie Styler has a fitness DVD set to Sting's mandolin music; she has transformed her physique by training for four hours a day. Nice work if you can get it. [Mirror
• Larry King's wife is up for a role in Bono's Broadway version of Spider-man. [Page Six]
• Whatshisname is accusing Whatshername of spilling private details. [Daily Mail]
• Blind item! "Which openly gay TV star likes to show off his stuff at the gym by walking around sans towel - and referring to himself as 'porn-worthy?'" [Gatecrasher]
• "You know, I'm not really doing the dating thing, I don't feel like I'm in the world of dating. I don't feel like a young twentysomething. I'm happy working but it's not a case of 'I don't have time for a girlfriend'. I do. It's just like everyone else who's single I suppose." — Daniel Radcliffe is looking for love. [Telegraph]
• "After Mad Men I got a lot of 'How dare you speak to Don Draper like that?' People — mainly women — were mad at me that I told Don off." — Patrick Fischler, who played insult comic Jimmy Barrett on Mad Men. [LA Times]
• Directors don't get better, they get worse! When you gotta go out and make a movie to pay for the kids' private school and for the three ex-wives, don't talk to me about your artistry. It's their job. I don't want to have to watch the movie I made to pay for my pool." — Quentin Tarantino plans to stop making movies when he turns 60. [Gatecrasher]
• "[In a relationship], you're probably going to drop the F-bomb once in a while. You're probably going to say some things that are kind of harsh. And you're definitely going to talk about sex. It doesn't have to be so Snow White and Prince Charming. That's my problem with a lot of romantic comedies." — Katherine Heigl. [People]

• Michelle Obama will not attend the CFDA Fashion Awards, despite the fact that she is receiving the CFDA's Board of Directors' Special Tribute (an award they made up especially for her). [WWD]

• A few months back, Peaches Geldof obligingly posed for a News of the World paparazzo while frolicking topless in St. Tropez. (The things you must do for cash in this economy!) Lingerie brand Ultimo noticed the shots, and offered Peaches six figures to be its new face. Which is why there are now pictures of the 20-year-old noted Nylon correspondent lying on a table in her underwear, surrounded by cupcakes and milkshakes, and giving quotes about how it's better for her to model lingerie than "an anorexic model." Tell that to the Photoshopper, doll. [Daily Mail]
• Supposedly, despite the global financial crisis and the recession it has spawned, the Chinese are still buying luxury goods. Either that, or the AP found the one lady in Beijing who can still afford Dior. [AP]
• Lanvin and Kate Spade, however, see business opportunities in Japan. (Have they read any economic news out of Japan recently?) [WWD]
• Donatella Versace went to the White House Correspondents' Dinner — her second — and reflected on the differences between the last administration and the current one. (The Obamas made sure to have "cool" Hollywood people, not "stiff" Hollywood people, at their party, for one.) Then she met Colin Powell, who is apparently her "hero." [HuffPo]
• Tim Gunn was also in Washington, D.C., this week — as a lobbyist. The CFDA sent Gunn, along with Project Runway Season 5 winner Leanne Marshall, to talk to politicians about the recently re-introduced Design Piracy Bill, which would extend copyright protection to clothing. (At the moment, images printed on clothes can be copyrighted, because they're considered artwork, and an exact pattern can be copyrighted, but all the other distinctive design features of a garment can be legally copied by any manufacturer.) Gunn was soon besieged with questions from Hill staffers about how to spruce up their outfits. [NY Observer]
• This fall, you too can smell like Akon. In two different ways. [WWD]
• Katy Perry: "Usually, I'm trying to look like a party." [People]
• If you care about Gossip Girl, which I hear is a television show people watch, sometimes, then perhaps you would like to read this article about how, during the soap opera's 80s flashback scenes, the characters dress in clothes. From the 80s. [WWD]
• Suzy Menkes — writer of that terrible story on the "African" fashion trend — thinks blogs are great. But that they get things wrong. No argument there! But since when are newspapers any different? A commenter on this story promptly identified an error in a four-year-old piece Menkes wrote for the New York Times. [The Cut]
• If you wear a size 16 in Ann Taylor or Ann Taylor Loft clothing, after this spring — wait, that's, like, right now! — you'll need to go online to find it. The company says they will no longer stock size 16 in stores because of lack of consumer demand, which seems awfully fishy when you remember that 70% of American women are a size 12 or above. Ann Taylor thus joins Banana Republic and J. Crew in selling size 16 only online. [Crain's]
• Jenna Lyons, the creative director of J. Crew, comes across as the kind of person who thrives under stress in this interview. [Fashionista]
• The inaugural Ellen Tracy intimates collection will be available in stores this December. [WWD]
• Betsey Johnson is into designing a diffusion line for Target or "whatever it's called." HSN, QVC, Topshop, H&M — anything, really, she swears. Call her. Please. [The Cut]
• Zaha Hadid for Lacoste shoes look like a rubber octopus with a foot fetish. [WWD]
• Puma's sales actually increased 3.6% in the first quarter of this year, but its overall net income fell 93.8% on figures from two years ago. [WWD]
• Troubled retailer Abercrombie & Fitch is taking over a 4,300 square foot space on Manhattan's Fifth Avenue — only three blocks south of its current flagship store. Hickey Freeman, the menswear store, is forced to close its old flagship at 666 Fifth because of the bankruptcy of its parent company, Hartmarx, and Abercrombie is apparently only too happy to take it over. [WWD]
• John Varvatos — the designer who made CBGB's a store selling $2,000 jackets — just laid off 12 people, or 4% of his workforce. [WWD]
• Scientists at Virginia Tech have created a fabric that can measure the speed, motion, and direction of its movements, and transmit those data to a computer. Science is magic, guys. [Advanced Imaging Pro]
• A makeup artist for The Bold And The Beautiful thinks women will go for putting her own special brand of concealer on their feet to hide corns and calluses. To which I say: Why not do that with the foundation you already own, should you feel such a step be necessary? And: Makeup smudges on my lovely shoes? No thanks. The brave ladies of The Cut road-tested the execrable product. Warning: click only if you want to see pictures of feet before lunchtime. [The Cut]

• Tobey Maguire and his wife, Jennifer Meyer, who already have a daughter together, two-and-a-half year old Ruby, now have a son; their second child was born Friday and "the family is healthy and happy." [People]

• Meanwhile, Jason Priestley is also preparing for the arrival of his son. Priestley's wife, Naomi, has confirmed that the couple (who already have a 22 month old girl) is expecting a baby boy. "They are so excited," says a source, "They said this is probably it for them because now they'll have one of each." [People]
• Heidi Klum and Seal who have two sons and are raising Heidi's daughter, Leni, together, are expecting a baby girl. "We'd be happy with either," says Heidi, "But it would be a lie if I said we all weren't hoping for a little girl — especially Leni, because she would love to have a little sister." [USWeekly]
• Sandra Bullock, however, isn't sure she ever wants kids: "You don't have to give birth to someone to have a family. I'm not going to spend two seconds of my life wishing I had something I don't," Bullock says, "It's hard to do it your way when you hear everyone else telling you to do it their way, I just want people to admit that there's no one way to live your life." [USWeekly]
• Is Bob Dylan hiding the fact that he's had several wives and children? [DailyMail]
• Taylor Swift likes to check up on her exes from time to time: "In my spare time I like to drive past my ex boyfriends' houses. I'm not like throwing eggs; I just like to check up on them. Everybody does that - it's just that nobody admits to it!" [ShowbizSpy]
• Mia Farrow has ended her fast after 12 days, claiming that her doctors warned her about health concerns, including seizures. "I am fortunate," Farrow says, "The women, children, and men I am fasting for do not have that option. When beginning this fast twelve days ago, I said that when I could go no longer, I hoped another would take my place, and another, and another, until the expelled humanitarian agencies are readmitted and finally there there is finally justice and peace for the people of Darfur." [DailyExpress]
• Akon owns a diamond mine in South Africa and says you can't believe everything you read: "I don't even believe in conflict diamonds," he says, "That's just a movie. Think about it. Ain't nobody thought about nothing about no conflict diamonds until the movie came out. Where was all that shit before the movie? That's the problem with people - they believe everything they read or see on TV. Unless you go to Sierra Leone and see what's going down, don't believe everything you're reading or see on TV. Trust me." [Independent]
• "My dad said it best. He said, 'Kelly, you have a contagious energy. You're always smiling, you're always happy and you're always excited to be wherever you are. People are just going to constantly try and bring you down and take that away from you. You just have to keep smiling.' And that's what I do."- Kelly Bensimon [E!]
• Blind Item: "A celebrity couple enjoyed dinner at a restaurant recently. This particular restaurant had a gorgeous flower arrangement on each table that the dark-haired woman greatly admired. As the couple was leaving, the woman - without asking permission from the restaurant - took not only the flowers from her table, but the ones from the table next to hers as well! As she was walking out, she told a stunned restaurant employee that they were the perfect thing for her own table at home. Perhaps her new film coming out this summer didn't pay her enough to buy her own flowers?" [BlindGossip]
• In totally shocking news, Eminem is, once again, blaming his mother for all of his problems. "My mum loved Valium and lots of drugs. That's why I'm like I am because I'm my mum," Marshall says, "There's no one quite like my mum. I know I should let bygones be bygone but she's the reason why I'm high on what I'm high on." [TheSun]
• Perhaps we'll hear more about Em's issues during his three-night stint on the Jimmy Kimmel Show, where he'll be promoting his new album, Relapse.[UPI]
• "I've lived the life of a 35-year-old since I was 18. I'm so suspicious of boys-slash-men. I just don't like them or trust them."- Megan Fox [DailyMail]
• Oprah's home in Montecito, CA, has been evacuated due to the wildfires that are currently sweeping through the area. "The fires are nearby, but her house is not within the mandatory evacuation area," says a source, "We're continuing to monitor." [USWeekly]
• "Pottery has all sorts of metaphors, mostly sexual. I don't like to trim. I like throwing, mostly. I like being on the wheel. So I do what's called 'throwing off the hump.' You get a big piece of clay and you put it in the center of the wheel and center it ... I started making these little votive pieces ... then I would paint these little guys and put them in a vignette in a lighted area and it would cast a shadow on the wall."- Parker Posey [NYMag]
• A highly scientific formula has determined that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are the most powerful celebrity couple on the planet. [Telegraph]
• "Well, I never stopped writing music. I'm just writing a different kind of music now. I'm writing instrumental music and thematic music. To what end, I really don't know. It may end up being a movie score, some of it could be symphonic, it could end up being songs. I'm writing themes. I'm just not writing songs like I used to."- Billy Joel, who also still claims that he didn't start the fire, you guys. [Yahoo]
• Snoop Dogg has been cleared of battery and assault charges stemming from a 2005 incident wherein a concert goer jumped onstage and was promptly taken down by Snoop's entourage. [E!]
• "Ninety per cent of what is written about us is invented. The last one was this story about the Hungarian model, I have never been out to dinner with this young lady. I do not flirt with other women - I exist only for Victoria."- David Beckham [DailyMail]
• PETA is targeting Jessica Simpson due to her plans to perform a concert at Sea World: "As someone who is used to living in a fishbowl and having the public weigh in on her every move, you might like to give some thought to the animals who are forced to be 'on display' their entire lives." [DailyExpress]
• Christian Bale forced a rewrite of the upcoming Terminator: Salvation film. When asked why, he screamed: "Because it's fucking distracting!" When I told him I was going to put that in this morning's Dirt Bag, he yelled, "Oh goooood for yooooou." I'm pretty sure that we're done, professionally. [Yahoo]

• Sources say the woman who texted Chris Brown, "triggering" the assault on Rihanna was his manager Tina Davis, 40, who is rumored to have had a relationship with Brown when he was 16. [TMZ]

• It just keeps getting worse. Not only are Chris Brown and Rihanna reportedly recording a duet for his new album, TMZ reports that a music producer rushed them into the studio because "the heightened emotions would translate powerfully into the music." Sources claim the two were "very, very emotional ... the feeling in the room was pure love." [TMZ]
• Akon says he's be happy to work with Chris Brown again. "I wouldn't take anybody's personal issues or problems- I won't hold them accountable for that when it comes to work. I think it's two separate things," said Akon. [AP]
• Jesse McCartney would also love to work with Chris. He says: "From what I've seen and from what I know of [Brown], he's always been a gentleman. I've always known him as just a really nice guy. He's always been supportive of me too. Even in the early years when he was on top and I was just building my way up. He's always been really supportive…I think he'll be okay." [Perez Hilton]
• Not everyone is heaping praise on Chris Brown, but don't get too excited. This criticism comes from Donald Trump. He says he stands by a recent quote in which he calls Rihanna a loser. "If she goes back to him, she's absolutely crazy — they say that hitters are quitters," said Trump. "If she goes back to Chris Brown, who beat the hell out of her, she's a loser." [Extra]
• Oprah is dedicating a show this week to "all the Rihannas of the world" and talking about domestic violence. It's unclear why Tyra Banks is a guest. [Jossip]
• Ha. Someone took a picture of Columbia student James Franco sleeping in class. [TMZ]
• It was announced this morning that Nadya Suleman has accepted the help of Angels in Waiting, but now the organization has issued a statement saying they are not connected to Suleman in any way. It appears there may be more than one organization called "Angels in Waiting." [Perez Hilton]
• With everyone in the Suleman family constantly doing interviews, Nadya has decided it's time for the octuplets to get in on the action. She holds each of the babies in the hospital in this video. [Radar]
• American Idol told viewers to call 1-866-IDOLS-13 to vote for contestant Anoop Desai, but that number is already in use by a phone sex company. [TMZ]
• American Idol has set up another number for tonight's voting. [New York Magazine]
• Britney really is back. She went on a shopping spree in Miami. [People]
• Hayden Panettiere is supposedly trying to get ex/co-star Milo Ventimiglia fired. Sources on the set say she's behaving like a child. "She is making it difficult for everyone involved… She refuses to be on the set at the same time as him," said one source. [Perez Hilton]
• Jay Leno is performing a free show on April 7 in Detroit for unemployed autoworkers. It's called "Jay's Comedy Stimulus Plan." [NY Times]
• Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green are back together. Their rep says: "They hit a rough patch. But in every long-term relationship, people go through ups and downs. These two are very much in love and plan to be together for a long time." [Perez Hilton]
• Billy Corgan of the Smashing Pumpkins testified before Congress today about musicians getting paid fairly. [Politico]
• Anne Heche's divorce has been finalized. She and ex-husband Coley Laffoon will share custody of their son Homer. [Star]
• Here's the trailer for Powder Blue. There's probably a plot to the movie, but people seem to be excited about it mainly because Jessica Biel goes nude for her role as a stripper. Sigh. [ONTD]
• Tom Felton, a.k.a. Draco Malfoy has Twittered that he's releasing his album "In Good Hands" on iTunes next month. [ONTD]
• Paris Hilton says she hopes BFF Nicole Richie is having a boy. "I would love for Harlow to have a little brother to look after her," says Paris. [ONTD]
• After a party at the Kabbalah center in Beverly Hills, Ashton Kutcher tried to get a drunk Demi Moore into the car without alerting the paparazzi. Judging from this series of pictures, he was unsuccessful. [Socialite Life]
• Here are pictures of Freida Pinto in the new issue of Elle. [ONTD]
• Lily Allen says she is not promiscuous. "I haven't slept with many people and on a promotional trip you don't get a chance to meet or shag anyone, and I don't like one-night stands," said Allen. [ONTD]
• Tony Award nominee Domhnall Gleeson is expected to join the cast of the new Harry Potter film as Bill Weasley. His father Brendan Gleeson plays "Mad Eye" Moody. [Muggle Net]
• Apparently Alex McCord of The Real Housewives of New York City had a job, but she's been laid off. She worked from home in visual merchandising for Victoria's Secret. She says she may have to get rid of her nanny. [Perez Hilton]
• There will be a Battlestar Galactica retrospective at the U.N. on March 17 about how the show explored themes of "human rights, children and armed conflict, terrorism, human rights and reconciliation and dialogue among civilizations and faith." There will be a panel featuring U.N. representatives, show producers, and actors moderated by fan Whoopi Goldberg. [ONTD]
• Ewan McGregor found out someone was writing a fake Twitter account pretending to be him and had it taken down. [The Business Insider]
• Coolio has been charged with one felony count of drug possession and two misdemeanors, battery and possession of a smoking device, following his arrest last week at LAX. [People]
• Disney has moved the Christmas release of The Princess and the Frog up two weeks. They don't want to compete with Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakuel. [Variety]
• David Alan Grier's Chocolate News won't be renewed. [The New York Times]
• Tina Turner has postponed two U.K. concerts because she has the flu. [The Star]
• Khloe and Kourtney Kardashian describe themselves as "kissing bandits" because, as Khloe says, they "kiss then run away." The newly-single Kourtney says, "I have made a ban for myself – to be single. I cannot have a boyfriend until at least a year." [People]
• Chris Rock's brother Tony has been charged with drunk driving. [TMZ]
• Marcia Cross says her daughters Eden and Savannah are big talkers. "They happen to be very verbal girls and I think that comes from me. Their mom is pretty verbal," she said. [People]
• Bad news for those planning on drinking away their economic woes: A popular bartender at the Boston bar that inspired the show Cheers has been laid off. [CBS News]
• Jimmy Boyd, the child singer and actor best known for the song "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" died of cancer over the weekend. He was 70. [AP]
• Kelly Clarkson says she has no desire to have kids. "I would not be a good mother. I mean, I love being an aunt to my niece and nephew. And I used to want to, like, adopt 10 kids — because I had friends who were adopted, and I thought that was the coolest thing, to be chosen. But again, my job is too selfish." [Star]
• Kelly also says, "I've never been in love. I want to be so badly – I'm a hopeless romantic, but I haven't been there yet." [People]

• OMG! Project Runway's Tim Gunn will host the red-carpet arrivals at the official Academy Awards pre-show? Genius. Good Morning America's Robin Roberts and Entertainment Weekly's Jess Cagle will join him. Excellent. Carry on! [Variety]

• Prince is having an late-night Oscar bash, and Prince has decided that Prince will perform. [Yahoo News via E!]
• Oh dear: An L.A. woman has filed a $4 billion class action lawsuit against Miley Cyrus, claiming the Disney teen knowingly mocked Asians in a recent photo. Shit, meet fan. [TMZ]
• Margaret Cho thinks Miley Cyrus is "a disgrace." [Perez]
• Did you see Joaquin Phoenix on Letterman last night? You'll find what happened in the dictionary under "trainwreck." (Or at the link here.) [Nikki Finke's Deadline Hollywood]
• Post-steroid-scandal, Alex Rodriguez "ran right home to [wife] Cynthia," which has pissed off Madonna. She's telling A-Rod that her dalliance with Jesus Luz is just a publicity stunt; Rodriguez says he needs to salvage his career. According to this piece, "Now that he's unable to focus all his attention on Madonna, she only wants him more." [Gatecrasher]
• Holy crap: Michael Jackson has some kind of MRSA-type skin infection, like a flesh-eating virus or a staph infection, and it is sad and horrifying. Plus, from the looks of this picture, it hurts. [The Sun]
• Prince Harry has been formally disciplined after being caught on video calling a fellow soldier a racial slur. He will attend an equality and diversity course, and the incident will go on his permanent record. [Mirror, Guardian]
• What is the deal with George Clooney and Benazir Bhutto's 26-year-old niece, Fatima? Pakistan is "besotted" by their "affair." [Independent]
• Clooney's rep says the rumor that Clooney is dating Fatima is false. [WowOwow]
• Lily Allen had a "secret show" last night in New York, and in addition to material from her new album — the bouncy "Fuck You" and stuff from her old CD ("Smile") she covered Britney's "Womanizer." While singing about blow jobs, she "gulped wine" on stage. [Rolling Stone]
• Nicolette Sheridan is packing up her stuff and leaving Wisteria Lane; she will no longer be on Desperate Housewives. [Extra]
• Mary-Kate Olsen looks high fashion freaky in her pictures for the March issue of Interview; she tells the mag about differentiating herself from her sister: "We've always been very different. And we've always had the same goals… At a certain point, we probably just started to vocalize it. When we decided to go to college, we figured we'd be able to take a break and just figure out what we wanted to do and what we loved… just by being able to step away from the work world." [ONTD]
• Queen Latifah was on a bus tour of Newark, N.J. yesterday to promote options that will help homeowners avoid foreclosures. [UPI]
• Had Rihanna been working on a song about murdering a cheating partner before she was attacked by Chris Brown? [The Sun]
• Chris Brown is currently holed up at the Hard Rock Hotel in Vegas. [Yahoo News via E!]
• Except that this report says Chris Brown and Rhianna are both in L.A. Oh, and don't click this link unless you want to read a whole lot of bullshit speculation about how Rihanna maybe hit Chris first and "Lamborghini's [sic] have small cabins that are hard to maneuver in. Brown, who would have been driving, could have used his teeth as a weapon to defend himself against Rihanna's flailing." [Fox 411]
• Sigh, there is a delay in the Chris Brown case. The D.A spokesperson says: "It's our understanding the LAPD won't return the case to us this week. Once we get it, we will review it again to determine if there's a case." Wait, what? [People]
• Here's a better explanation of whether Chris should be charged with criminal threats or the lesser charge of domestic battery. [TMZ]
• Cops will reinterview Chris Brown and Rihanna again soon. [NY Daily News]
• Chris Brown's wardrobe stylist says: "Chris is all right. He's a good kid. He feels very bad that something like this has happened." Ugh! Passive talk. He feels bad "something happened" or he feels bad about what he did? [People]
• Leona Lewis denies involvement in the Chris Brown/Rihanna situation. [Daily Mail]
• When asked by paparazzi about Chris Brown, Terrence Howard said: "Chris is a great guy. He'll be all right." Now he says: "When they asked me about Chris Brown the other day, I was in no way aware of what he had been accused of. Had I known, I would have never had said something so insensitive." Seriously dude? Put down the baby wipes and pick up a newspaper or something. [E!]
• Clive Owen continues to promote his film and charm the underpants off of us. [CBS News]
• Drew Barrymore says Adam Sandler was her favorite on-screen kiss. "It was really innocent and unsalacious." [Mirror]
• Whoa: Nicolas Sarkozy proposed to Carla Bruni within two hours of meeting her. [Daily Mail]
• Groan: Sports Illustrated cover moddle Bar Refaeli ate cheeseburgers and ice cream before her shoot and did not work out. [Gatecrasher]
• Will Sean Penn be in a Three Stooges biopic? [Page Six]
• Balthazar Getty's exit from Brothers & Sisters will be "shocking." Spoilers all there if you click the link. [E!]
• Sam Shepard pled guilty to DUI and speeding from that bust last month in Illinois — he had a .175 blood alcohol level. Drunkety drunk drunk drunk. [TMZ]
• Kate Hudson has a stripper pole in her bathroom and a spy says: "She's so proud of it. She was laughing and giddy like a kid when the thing was installed! She holds on with both her arms and flips her legs into the air. It's kind of amazing and totally sexy." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Joe Francis is no longer on house arrest. He's free to go wild. [TMZ]
• Steven Seagal wants Costa Rica to have a filmmaking industry. "Costa Rica has everything — both rain forest and dry climate. What it lacks is an infrastructure to make movies," he said in a news conference. Send us plane tickets and let us judge for ourselves! [Reuters]
• Akon has a Chevron gas station in his backyard. [The Life Files]
• Blind item! "Which pro athlete's actress-girlfriend is going to be less than pleased when she discovers he's sleeping with college girls on the side?" [Gatecrasher]
• "Any actor who starts taking 'sex symbol' seriously or thinks of themselves as a sex symbol has got some serious problems. When I'm in my normal life I care very little about how I look. Sometimes I have to dress up when I'm making movies, but that's not me when I'm just hanging around. I don't mind looking like I need a good wash and a good meal. There's no vanity about my character and I think that's real. His absolute obsessive passion is trying to bring a bank down. He doesn't care how he looks. So I just stopped shaving and left it to the make-up people to make sure I looked bad in every scene." — Clive Owen. [Mirror]
• "I had to be chained to the ceiling with a hood over my head, in my boxer shorts, being hosed down by a soldier, with cold air fans blowing on me. I wouldn't recommend being tortured by Samuel L Jackson. He seems to enjoy it a little too much." — Michael Sheen, who filmed Unthinkable with Jackson. [Telegraph]
• "She's so different from me. She's so focused on the outside. She just loves clothes and she just loves life, and she wants to make the world more beautiful. How often do you read a comedy script with a woman in the lead, and she's actually a flawed, deluded character? And I was able to do physical comedy. It was a dream role." — Isla Fisher on Rebecca Bloomwood, her Shopaholic character. [USA Today]
• "The people who are the most beautiful are those who do what they love to do – who have love in their lives, and laugh a lot, go to good movies, read good books, and have great sex. A guy who's a chauvinist I'm not interested in. Any good man knows women are much smarter than men." — Carla Gugino, to Women's Health. [People]
• "We very rarely talk but when we do, it sure makes me laugh. She's one of the funniest ladies I know and I hold huge amounts of love and respect for her. She's my big sister. Things were wild during the years I was with her in the band and she's one of the wildest creatures I've ever met, but I have my own personal perception of her. There's nobody else like her. I feel like there should be a review of the great stuff that Hole and Courtney put out there. I would support that because I feel it's important to pass on to women of future generations." — Melissa Auf der Maur on Courtney Love. [ONTD via Spinner]
• "When you look at someone like Jessica [Simpson], I don't know if she gained weight, but it's all I've heard about. I'm looking for someone with a great voice, but if someone is 50 pounds overweight, I have to tell them the reality - that it might hold them back." — American Idol judge Kara DioGuardi. [MSNBC]

• More Manolos and man-drama: The Sex And The City sequel is on. Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Cynthia Nixon and Kristin Davis are all on board… and getting more cash. [Us]

• Heath Ledger died one year ago today. His last film, The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, will be released in June. [News.com.au]
• Paging Dr. Ross! George Clooney will, indeed, return to ER during its final season. [Yahoo News via E!]
• Tina Fey and Jon Hamm spill about 30 Rock! Tina says: "He plays a divorced gentleman who lives in my building. I meet him because I start getting his mail by accident and I start opening it and making assumptions about him based on it. Then I believe the technical term for what happens is 'shenanigans.'" Hamm adds: "Also high jinks. Believe it or not, there are misunderstandings." [EW]
• Jennifer Hudson will do the National Anthem at the Super Bowl because "she knew it was time" to perform again, says a source. [People]
• People are disgusting. How else to explain why there's an extortion plot involving John Travolta and a photograph taken of his son, Jett, as he was dying? [Daily Mail]
• Tom Cruise is urging Americans to "support" Barack Obama. Uh, dude? We got this. [The Star]
• Gwyneth Paltrow's trainer is opening a studio in New York. This is how it starts. Next we'll all be covered in GOOP. [NY Mag]
• Jodie Sweetin is reportedly back on coke, which may put the custody of her 9-month-old daughter in jeopardy. [Radar]
• Dita von Teese is returning to the "celebrated" Crazy Horse theater in Paris for a two-week run of her striptease show. Two years ago she "emerged from a rhinestone-encrusted bubblebath," but this year? "I feel I have to raise the bar," she says. "I wanted to do something more elaborate this time." [Reuters]
• Kevin Dillon, aka "Drama" on Entourage talks to Vanity Fair's George Wayne about Oliver Stone, outer space and the singer Pink: "Johnny Drama would love to get together with Pink." [Vanity Fair]
• Keira Knightley was walking around East London and realized that she was being followed and photographed; she texted her friend: "Read dickhead pap! Ahh!" We know this because the photographer took a close-up picture of her phone and it has been published. Madness. [Just Jared]
• Is Twilight keeping Kristen Stewart from going to college? She has no plans to go to university, she says: "Not now, maybe if I can grow up a little bit. But not yet, I can't. It's just I've had a lot of demands put on me for quite a long time." [Reuters]
• Dakota Fanning in the Twilight sequel? Could be fangtastic! [E!]
• Abigail Breslin's inked three pictures: two animated and a horror comedy called Zombieland with Woody Harrelson. [Variety]
• Sharon Stone D.C. gossip: "Over at an unofficial Pennsylvania ball at the Ritz, an emaciated Sharon Stone wowed the audience with an impassioned, if wildly disjointed, Obama-style appeal to get involved in politics. During her rambling discourse, she highlighted single mothers, anthracite coal and the Steelers as the Keystone State’s greatest attributes, according to an attendee. 'It was so weird. She’s seven flavors of crazy, each more delicious than the next,' the source added." [Politico]
• Here's a rundown of all the celebrity ego trips — including Halle Berry getting her dress stuck in an escalator — that happened down in D.C. [Page Six]
• Etta James watched Beyoncé sing the song she made famous, "At Last," from her home. [NY Daily News]
• U2's new album cover is virtually the same as the CD cover of an album called Specification Fifteen, which came out in 2006. [The Sun]
• In case you missed it, Katy Perry has taken a vow of celibacy this year. "No kissing anyone. Just my cat, Kitty Purry." [The Sun]
• Alanis Morissette is swimming with river dolphins and feeding wild monkeys in the Amazon right now and you're not. [AP]
• Don't speak: Gwen Stefani is getting back together with No Doubt for a 2009 summer tour! [Page Six]
• Dudes who logged on to AskMen.com found Isla Fisher more desirable than Victoria's Secret model Miranda Kerr. [News.com.au]
• The best thing about this gossip item regarding Audrina from The Hills is how she's wearing a T-shirt with the words "a beautiful lie" right over her fake boobs. [People]
• This new Heineken commercial with John Turturro should be an ad for weed, because he says the kind of shit you say when you are high as a kite. [Brand Freak]
• PETA has withdrawn an offer to televise an anti-dogfighting PSA with Michael Vick after his release from prison. [AP]
• Susan Sarandon is doing a new flick with Pierce Brosnan because Pierce called her and asked her to. [Gatecrasher]
• Singer Akon has no idea how old he is. He was born in the US but spent his early years in Senegal and says: "In Africa... age is not important over there. They don't care. People only focus on it here [America] and in Europe." [AP]
• Peter Falk's daughter is trying to place him under a conservatorship, but his wife of 32 years is opposing the proceeding. [AP]
• Some dumbass working for TMZ asked Ron Howard if there will be an Andy Griffith movie, and since Howard said no, this story is called "Ron Howard Kills 'Griffith' Reunion." [TMZ]
• Josh Groban is gonna work with Metallica and Beastie Boys producer Rick Rubin, LOL. [Fox 411]
• Pete Townshend and Roger Daltrey are friends now, FYI — they grew closer after Townshend faced child porn charges and was cleared. "Roger bravely stood by me when I really couldn’t speak for myself," Pete says. [Daily Express]
• Mark Ruffalo is back to work. [Reuters]
• Blind item! "Which small-screen actress is just as naughty as her TV character? The hottie was seen kissing quite a few fellas at Sundance despite having a serious boyfriend." [Gatecrasher]
• "Miley Cyrus Likes To Touch Big Boys." [The Life Files]
• Aerosmith's Steven Tyler says he's never been rejected by a woman: "I'm a persistent motherfucker. I'm very sensual and very rhythm-oriented and into poetry. Women can feel that." This blogger points out: "In a culture where no doesn't mean no, you've just got to be a 'persistent motherfucker' until a woman relents—and then you can claim victory and convince yourself you're some kind of awesome Casanova." Word. [Shakesville]
• Catherine Deneuve's daughter, Chiara Mastroianni — who once dated Benicio Del Toro — is in a new flick with her mother. Chiara says having famous parents (her father is the late Marcello Mastroianni) "made me even more determined to prove that, if I get attention, it's because I'm good at my job, not for other mad reasons." [Independent]
• You know how George Carlin loved to say the 7 words you can't say on TV? None of that made it into an FBI file on him. "Which kind of disappoints me," his daughter laughs. [AP]
• Fess up: Which one of you spent £12,000 on Colin Firth's Mr. Darcy portrait? [The First Post]
• "I did once snog identical twins in San Diego. I was on the sofa and I had them both. I was dancing and shoving my ass on one of them. That’s the only time, but I have lesbian dreams a lot." — Lily Allen, on her same-sex experience. [The Sun]
• "I'm having a really good laugh over the fact that I've been nominated for a Razzie this year. I had so much fun filming Disaster Movie and giggled the entire time during the shoot. There is steep competition in my 'worst supporting actress' category, I have to admit... including my fantastic costar Carmen Electra (you go girl!), Leelee Sobieski (what a surprise!), Jenny McCarthy (really?) and Paris Hilton (who could technically sweep this year's awards with a whopping three nominations!). It's an honor just being nominated! LOL!" — Kim Kardashian. [Kim Kardashian]
• "I'm in love with Barack Obama. I wanna get married — like, I wanna have his kids. Why am I not Michelle, you know what I mean? Who the [bleep] is she? You know, why can't I be her?" — Macy Gray. [Page Six]
• "My videos stand the test of time. They are like the almanac for every performer. Even Rihanna has come up to me and said 'I hope you don’t mind.' And Beyonce. You can see the influence of what I’ve done." — Paula Abdul. [MSNBC]
• "Mother Nature was not very kind to me. I'm going to deal with her when I get home. It, by no means, was my standard. I was not happy with it, but I just feel blessed because it could have been five above zero or five below zero like it is in Detroit. I was still blessed to be able to pretty much just sing the melody, but I wasn't happy with it, of course." — Aretha Franklin on her inauguration performance. [CNN]

• Madonna and Alex Rodriguez are "quietly" shopping for a love nest in Manhattan. Is this relationship really real? And why so quick on the rebound, your Madgesty? [Page Six]
• Neither Angelina Jolie nor Brad Pitt can really cook. Angie's "signature dish" is cereal. Brad says, "I can rock a Sunday BBQ but that’s as far as my culinary talents go." [The Sun]
• Barack Obama will almost certainly be Barbara Walters' "Most Fascinating Person of 2008." [Rush & Molloy]
• Beyoncé, blue? Back in 1999, after Destiny's Child changed group members, and the former members accused her father of failing to share profits, Beyoncé felt that everyone blamed her for the group's troubles. She says, "For a couple of years when I was 19 I suffered depression." [Daily Express]
• Check out Beyoncé on the cover of Giant. [Concrete Loop]
• Sienna Miller and Balthazar Getty want to do a film together? Is this a joke? [The Sun]

• Amy Winehouse sent X Factor judge Louis Walsh a green tie and shamrock cufflinks as a thank you for being nice to her goddaughter Dionne, who visited the show. The gift came with a handwritten note. A source says: "I very much doubt that Amy wrote it herself as at the end of note there was just a scrawling signature in completely different writing." [The Sun]
• Kate Moss and Jamie Hince had a "scuffle" over their holiday plans: Kate had scratches on her cheek; Jamie had a black eye from her chunky ring. [Page Six]
• OMFG: Gossip Girl's Ed Westwick and Jessica Szohr (Chuck Bass and Vanessa) were seen "canoodling" at the Dallas airport on Sunday night. [Page Six]
• Did anyone see Nastia Liukin on Gossip Girl last night? [LA Times]
• Speaking of Gossip Girl, Kelly Rutherford, aka Lilly van Der Woodsen, is expecting her second child. [ET]
• Gwyneth Paltrow is still with Chris Martin; the rumors that she'd shacked up with a real estate billionaire appear to be false. [Rush & Molloy]
• This reporter is shocked that there are dozens of Facebook groups dedicated to "bullying" Nicole Kidman. One is called "Am I Taking Crazy Pills or is Nicole Kidman the Worst Actress in the World?" and another is "Nicole Kidman Looks Like An Alien With Foetal Alcohol Syndrome." The writer claims, "She is hard-working and dedicated to her family and hasn't a hint of the prima donna about her, they say." [News.com.au]
• Kanye West was playing his new album for the band Keane so loud that he blew up the mixing desk. [The Sun]
• Try to picture Keanu Reeves on a panel with Caltech researchers. It's happening Friday; he's discussing his flick The Day The Earth Stood Still and how "science in the movie meshes with real world scientific research." [UPI]
• The new season of American Idol will be "more real" and "intimate" and "raw," "letting the kids be more emotional." Somehow, Paula Abdul plays a role in this. [MSNBC Scoop]
• You know how Peaches Geldof was working on a magazine? It's called Disappear Here and it will be distributed free on Thursday, in "secret places" in New York. [Gawker]
• News you can't use: Clay Aiken is a "hands-on dad." [People]
• Lost fans: There's a casting call out for a father and son who speak Arabic… Sayid backstory plotline alert! [EW]
• Former UCLA Medical Center employee Lawanda Jackson pleaded guilty Monday to selling confidential info about Farrah Fawcett's cancer battle to the National Enquirer. Plus, she used her boss's password to access the medical records of dozens of patients, including Britney Spears and Maria Shriver. She'll be sentenced in May. [Yahoo News]
• Parminder Nagra, who plays Dr. Neela Rasgotra on ER — and whom some may recall as "Jess" from Bend It Like Beckham, is pregnant with her first child. The baby daddy is boyfriend James Stenson, a photographer, with whom she's been for 7 years. [Us Magazine, UPI]
• Courteney Cox Arquette will be on three episodes of Scrubs, starting January 6. Matthew Perry will also show up on Scrubs, later in the season. [People]
• Eva Longoria smokes. [Perez Hilton]
• "Michael Phelps has turned into a party and poker animal, surrounding himself with bimbos and booze." [Page Six]
• M.I.A. is expecting a B.A.B.Y. and is keeping B.U.S.Y. — she has 3 songs on the Slumdog Millionaire soundtrack and launched N.E.E.T., a record label to bring politically charged music to the mainstream. She says: "I think my baby is going to start off making club music. That's all I've been listening to. Of course, you never know. When you want someone to do something, it ends up doing the opposite. It might end up being an accountant." [USA Today]
• Uma Thurman's parents unknowingly hired Tanya Hollander — who is accused of booking call girls at Eliot Spitzer's fave escort service — to manage their upstate yoga center. [NY Post]
• Mariah Carey's husband Nick Cannon has purchased a million dollar ski chalet for Mimi in Aspen. Joint bank account though, right? [Mirror]
• Gabrielle Union says the rumor mill helps her dating life: "Ludacris and Hill Harper are two of my closest male friends, and people always said we were all dating. It's like they were blocking for me. I could date the people I wanted to date and no one ever knew because they thought I was, as somebody said, 'sucking face' with Hill Harper." [Daily Express]
• Ellen Page's Oscar nomination is not enough to get her membership in the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences — the peeps who vote on the Oscars. [NY Mag]
• Cate Blanchett: Getting a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame this Friday! [Daily Express]
• Akon's trial for endangering the welfare of a minor — stemming from when he threw a 15-year-old kid off the stage in a 2007 concert — has been postponed until December 17. [Perez Hilton]
• Donald Trump's brother, Robert, is getting divorced from socialite and major philanthropist Blaine Trump. [NY Post]
• Naomi Campbell's Russian billionaire boyfriend punched a photographer in the gut. [Page Six]
• We haven't seen Cher in a while, because she's been in Nepal working with orphans. [Page Six]
• Hear Helena Bonham Carter's voice in an MTV ad about domestic abuse. [Guardian]
• Singer Bryan Adams has called the cops over a mother and son stalker team. The pair — possibly from Romania and suffering psychiatric problems — have been following Adams for weeks. [The Sun]
• Did the fact that Axl Rose went "missing" for two months cost Guns N' Roses the number one slot on the charts? [The Sun]
• The set used for the British TV show The Office was destroyed after a massive explosion and fire. [Daily Express]
• "Some people talk about their personal lives a lot. I try not to, unless it's more of a generality. I don't want to broadcast my personal life because I feel it's off-putting. People are like, 'Oh, shut the fuck up. Cry me a river.' Who wants to hear the reality, really? You can't win." — Kate Bosworth. [Daily Expess]
• "I sit with my investors and business managers and accountants looking at the numbers and I’m like, 'Yo, the values of stocks in different areas that I invested in are decreasing!' So I take the loss like everybody else…I’m waking up in a room that was previously Mike Tyson’s bedroom, a fighter who earned over $500 million in his actual career, and when I purchased his house from him he was in bankruptcy…If that’s not a strong enough reminder for you, I don’t know what’s going to remind you to be aware of where you are financially and make conscious decisions…" — 50 Cent, in Forbes. [The.Life Files]

• It's unclear exactly why Karl Lagerfeld presented Britney with a German Bambi award, but that affects the awesome not a whit! Quoth the Kaiser, "[You are] coming back not only as a phoenix, but as a bird of paradise." [New York]
• British fashion writer claims that "judging by the pictures of Madonna's recent outfits...she is in a very dark place indeed. " [Daily Mail]
• Please prevent moddle Kylie Bax from speaking. What is the supposed misconception about Australia she feels needs to be dispelled? “That the Aboriginals are cannibals...They are actually sweet, gentle people.” Glad to have it cleared up, because no one we know was confused about that. [WWD]
• Is anyone else inexplicably psyched for Vogue: The Movie? [WWD]

• American Apparel is a sensation in England; we predict a backlash in five...four...three... [Guardian]
• Dov says they want to become "the urban brand...to the world." [The Street]
• If you think it takes a real sleaze to make Dov look like a choir boy, then you're right! Enter Keith Fink, esq! [Hollywood Interrupted]
• Weirdly, the New York Abercrombie and Fitch has become a big tourist attraction. That's the one that (allegedly) has shirtless hunks as doormen. [NPR]
• Kat Von D on her new cosmetics line: "I never let people see me without makeup. And it's not an insecurity thing. The perk of being a girl is being able to wear makeup and dress up. It's another artistic outlet." [LA Times]
• Akon has, like, four clothing lines! [People]
• Are bespoke Savile Row suits being made on the cheap in Africa? [Independent]
• Why Diana loved her (super-80's!) "caring dress": "She happened to wear that dress when visiting a hospital, and children seemed to clamour round and like it. If you are like the Princess of Wales, who loved children, you don't want a strictly formal suit for a hospital visit. You pick a very informal dress with bright colours, which that dress was. The reaction is one of awe from young children." [Telegraph]
• Marc Jacobs and LV do an homage to Stephen Sprouse: “I proposed putting together a Vuitton version of the Pop Shop, which was Keith Haring’s concept…not reissuing products that we had done with Stephen, but doing things that were similar or new,” says Jacobs. [WWD]
• Wait, what? Hadley Freeman claims that leopard print is Christmas apropos! Is this a British thing? [Guardian]
• Claudia Schiffer, the Hollywood sign's "Y", for YSL. [WWD]
• Stella McCartney steals away Lanvin's business director. Will the faux fly? [Reuters]
• Is "the Bathing Ape" actually a global fashion icon? Rizzoli says yes! [Time]

• Paris Hilton plays a woman who wants plastic surgery in Repo: The Genetic Opera, but she claims she's never had surgery. "I love being all-natural," she claims. All natural? Ahem. Let's just look at those boobs, that nose, the blue contacts that cover those brown eyes and, oh, yeah, the nose. [Daily Beast]
• Paris Hilton totally assisted in the election excitement with her silly videos, you guys: "I was talking about issues and actually making sense but still playing with my image at the same time. Doing it in a ditzy way, but actually saying things I think can really help it along." [E!]
• Britneyspears.com now hosts weekly awards called The PapaRAZZIEs that highlight the antics of obnoxious paps: "Terrorizing Britney has unfortunately become a daily part of the paparazzi's lives. So, we've decided to start calling these maniacs out each week by awarding a PapaRAZZIE to the worst of the worst! Each week we will be presenting an award to the most outrageous and ridiculous pap moment and you have to check out what we found this week. The guy who's shooting this video actually starts mooing at Mary Kate Olsen!" [ONTD]
• Could Britney be focusing on paparazzi because she's dating one? The rumors that she's back with Adnan Ghalib will not die. An "insider" tells the National Enquirer: "Britney and Adnan are constantly on the phone or text-messaging each other. Britney gets excited when he calls or texts because he lavishes her with compliments." [MSNBC]
• Prepare yourself: Daniel Craig NAKED. [The Sun]

• Barack Obama had a conference call yesterday with "African-American leaders." On the phone: Oprah Winfrey, Sean "Diddy" Combs, Donna Brazile, House Majority Whip Jim Clyburn, and Rev. Joseph Lowery. [Politico]
• "Oprah Working O-vertime For Obama." [Rush & Molloy]
• Diddy, Mary J. Blige, Jay-Z and Beyoncé were in Philadelphia yesterday for a "promote the vote" block party. Mary J's haircut gets my vote! [Concrete Loop]
• People has a poll: "Do You Approve Of Jen & John's Relationship?" Sorry, but we need to vote on this OTHER issue that seems WAY more important at the moment. [People]
• After being hit in the head with a camera in a kerfluffle outside of a restaurant, Jessica Simpson's BFF Ken Paves says: "While I did not expect a dinner out with friends would end up with me in the emergency room and nine stitches in my head, I am fine." He got nine stitches. Being friends with a celebrity is dangerous! [People]
• Jennifer Hudson kissed her mother goodbye during a private service for her murdered family members in Chicago on Monday. [People]
• Jennifer's stepbrother says: "Right now she is just praying and staying strong. Just pray for her." [Yahoo News]
• Another day, another rumored wedding: Fergie and Josh Duhamel might tie the knot in June 2009. She's started working with wedding planners and wants a Karl Lagerfeld gown. Who doesn't? [Just Jared]
• Mary-Kate Olsen says he thinks it's weird that people were into her "boho" style. "For me it was laziness. I wore my pyjamas and threw on whatever was warm enough. It still amazes me. It's just layers and it doesn't make any sense to me at all." That makes two of us! [Daily Express]
• Ashley Olsen responds to the rumor that she's getting married: "No truth at all. I told the National Enquirer that, but they don't print what we actually say." [E!]
• Will Russell Brand play Johnny Depp's brother in the next Pirates Of The Caribbean flick? [Telegraph]
• Heidi Klum spoofs Tom Cruise's Risky Business shirt-and-boxers dance for a Guitar Hero commercial. Except she's in a bra and undies. Click and see. [The Sun]
• Ew: Justin Long hooked up with Tila Tequila? [Page Six]
• Despite separation and tension, David Duchovny and Tea Leoni took their kids trick-or-treating. Kudos. [Page Six]
• A flick from 1971 in which Susan Sarandon is "sexy and nude" is being released on DVD, if you're into that. [Page Six]
• Carrie Underwood says she hasn't spoken to ex Tony Romo "since, like, May." So Jessica Simpson can calm the hell down. [People]
• Salma Hayek was spotted getting cozy with her baby daddy, French billionaire Francois-Henri Pinault. Will they get back together? [People]
• Leona Lewis went to South Africa and now she wants a South African baby. "I wanted to take home all the kids. They were so cute. All of them had been orphaned because of HIV and it was heart-rending," she says. "There are so many who need help – both here and abroad – you just don't know where to start. My mum was a social worker and my dad was a youth offender officer, so I know that there are a lot of kids out there that need to be fostered and adopted. I definitely want to adopt." [People]
• Baz Luhrmann's epic movie Australia (starring Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman) hits theaters November 26, but it's not even done yet. [NY Mag]
• Keith Urban to Nicole Kidman: "You do look good in my shirt. And out of it! But that's a different story." [People]
• Emma Watson is dating a young Australian student and this paper knows lots of details about him. He's a rower who loves rugby and has a background in theater. [Telegraph]
• Peaches Geldof has been living in New York for "five minutes" and has "already picked up an American accent." [The Sun]
• Will Smith is determined to star in a Bollywood film. Maybe we should loan other stars out to other countries. Where shall we send Jessica Simpson? [Daily Express]
• Witness Seal speaking about his new album. [Mirror]
• The rumor that Joe the Plumber maybe hooked up with SNL's Kristen Wiig: False. [Politico]
• Antonio Sabato Jr is "ready to love again," so, naturally, he's looking for a lady via a reality show. Romantic! [Perez Hilton]
• Olympic gold medal-winning skier Picabo Street got married! On top of a mountain, of course. [People]
• Negotiations for Cloris Leachman to join the cast of Young Frankenstein on Broadway are still underway. All together now: Blucher! [Yahoo News]
• Ooh, Jane Fonda on Broadway: She'll star in 33 Variations, a play by Moises Kaufman about a present-day musicologist (played by Fonda) and her study of Beethoven's fascination with a particular piece of music. [AP]
• What's up with the Ramones and the election? Johnny's widow Linda has been campaigning for McCain; Joey's brother says: “I just want it to be clear that Linda Cummings does not represent the political views of the Ramones." [Reuters]
• An amazing profile of Grace Jones includes information about her brother, Christian, who was "born swishy." According to the piece, "When Christian clashed with his parents, Grace took his side and began the rebellion that she turned into a career." [Telegraph]
• The firing of Brooke Smith from Grey's Anatomy means the end of a mature, woman-on-woman (as opposed to girl-on-girl) lesbian relationship, which, TV critic Mary McNamara says, "is bad for the world." [LA Times]
• Have you seen Liv Tyler in those Nintendo DS ads? She says: "I'd never played a game before they asked me to shoot this. It's actually quite addictive. There's something childlike about being able to just play." Also, that's her sister Chelsea in the commercial with her. [USA Today]
• There's a bench warrant out for the arrest of John Cusack's stalker. Keep an eye out for a 33-year-old woman obsessed with Better Off Dead. [E!]
• The surfers charged with roughing up a paparazzo who was crowding Matthew McConaughey on a Malibu beach pleaded not guilty Monday to misdemeanor battery charges. Pretrial hearing in January, dude. [Yahoo News via E!]
• Heather Mills built a swimming pool without permission, and in a desperate attempt to keep it, she's saying it actually serves a the public, because the fire brigade can use in case of a fire. [Daily Mail]
• Dr. Phil's son did a book signing at the Mall Of American and no one really cared or showed up. Okay, not true. There were about a dozen people and he said, "I know most of you." The signing started at 2 p.m. and he was done by 2:30. [Star Tribune]
• Know how we're always talking about no new ideas in Hollywood? The Farrelly brothers are directing a comedy called Three Stooges. Out in late 2009. [Variety]
• Charges have yet to be filed against Heather Locklear in that DUI case; it's still being investigated. [Yahoo News via E!]
• ¡Mierda! Kylie Minogue had five suitcases stolen hours before her Latin America tour started. Laptops, cameras, passports and show outfits were taken when she landed in the Colombian capital of Bogota. Eh, the show must go on. [The Sun]
• Laguna Beach star Jason Wahler's civil trial kicked off yesterday: He's accused of assaulting a tow-truck driver. His lawyers filed a motion seeking to keep other attorneys from blabbing to the press about the case; rumor has it Wahler shouted racist slurs at the driver, who is black. [Yahoo News via E!]
• The husband of slain actress Adrienne Shelly is suing the manager of the New York City building where she died and the renovation company that hired the man who killed her. [USA Today]
• NFL players taking Nikki Haskell's Star Caps diet pills? Huh? [Page Six]
• Hmm, Lionel Ritchie has Akon and Ne-Yo on his new album. Trying to connect with the kids? [Yahoo News]
• George Carlin's daughter has a book deal to do an oral history of her father's life, due in fall 2009. [USA Today]
• Charlize Theron may star with Tom Cruise in The Tourist, a remake of a 2005 French Thriller in which she'd play an Interpol agent who uses an American tourist "in an attempt to flush out an elusive criminal with whom she once had an affair." [Variety]
• A former UCLA Medical Center employee has pleaded not guilty to charges that she sold information from Farrah Fawcett's file to a tabloid magazine. [USA Today]
• Kate Beckinsale looks foxy on the cover of Elle UK. [Elle UK]
• "Growing up in Jamaica the Pentecostal church wasn't that fiery thing you might think. It was very British, very proper. Hymns. No dancing. Very quiet. Very fundamental. You might see some rastas going by on their bicycles but you were taught to run and hide under your bed if that happened. They were demons, devils. You had to wear a hat to go to church. We weren't allowed to straighten our hair. We couldn't wear jewellery, nail polish, open backed shoes, skirts above the knee... trousers were forbidden because male apparel on a female was not Godly." — Grace Jones. [Telegraph]
• "If [Obama] doesn't get into office, I'm gonna change my citizenship. I'm moving back to Africa. You can hold me to that. I'm afraid to live there if [McCain] is President. The decisions he makes scare me: he's making selfish decisions, he's doing whatever it takes to get into office. I don't think [McCain] is going to last eight years so [Palin]'s definitely going to be president. Oh my goodness - that's scarier. And who would be her running mate? Joe the Plumber?" — Akon. [Perez Hilton]
• "He said, 'Ahh you're the girl from Wedding Crashers.' He freaked out and backed away from me. I'm like, 'I'm not actually a bi-polar nymphomaniac.'" — Isla Fisher. [News.com.au]
• "Leo — that’s one of my best friends and I’m one of his. That’s just my boy. Tobey’s my boy. We all love sports. We’re all into politics. We all have a stake in the artistic community. We all have a lot of similar interests." — Q-Tip. [LA Times]
• "I've been saying to him for seven years, 'When are you going to put out the record? He’s such an artist. He wants it to be perfect." — Leonardo DiCaprio, on Q-Tip. [LA Times]
• "Leo and I were always aware that if we were going to do something together again that there would be a sense of expectation. It was going to have to be the right thing. There's an emotional shorthand that Leo and I have and a physical ease because we've known each other so long… Leo and I, you know, are sort of kindred spirits — we're cut from the same cloth." — Kate Winslet, on her Revolutionary Road costar, Leo DiCaprio. [MSNBC]
• "There are too many girls in here… too many model asses all over the place." — Shannen Doherty, at a New York party. [ONTD]
• "I don’t really get involved in political affairs because of the way I was brought up and being a Jehovah’s Witness, but it’s exciting to see someone like Barack Obama have a chance to lead one of the world’s biggest nations. And it’s just interesting. Think 40 years ago or 30 years ago, all the things that were going on, the persecution we had to go through. And it’s good. It makes my heart smile." — Serena Williams. [NY Times]
• "Ideally I want to have another three kids biologically and then adopt. If something happened and there was a child who needed a home before that, then I’d do it. All I know is that I haven’t finished yet when it comes to having kids." — Katie "Jordan" Price. [The Sun]
• "When I perform on stage I become those male bullies, those dominators from my childhood. That's probably why it's so scary, because they scared me. I enjoy being feminine, but I like role swapping." — Grace Jones. [Telegraph]

• Lindsay Lohan has turned down a $700,000 offer to pose topless in Playboy. Since we already saw her nipples in New York magazine, what would be the point? [Page Six]
• Meanwhile, there's a truce in the Lohan fam: Michael is actually saying nice things about Dina! And mom, dad and all the kids will allegedly all be together for the final service for Lindsay's grandfather, who died last week. They'll scatter his ashes in a Long Island harbor. [E!]
• You know how Sarah Palin was on the cover of Us? Apparently the magazine "lost thousands of subscribers in the first 24 hours" following the printing of the issue. [MSNBC]

• Lily Allen's suffering from a major hangover and some regret after drunkly swearing on stage at the GQ Awards. Her Facebook status is "dying inside" and she wrote that she "feels like killing" herself, although that part has since been removed. Free champagne is a blessing and a curse. [Daily Mail]
• Leighton Meester and Blake Lively of Gossip Girl: Guest stars on 30 Rock this fall. Apparently Liz Lemon was a mean girl in high school! [EW]
• Heidi Montag: "I'm waiting for my Barbie Doll. That's what I want next." Spencer Pratt: "We just talked to Mattel yesterday, and we are already working on our own Ken and Barbie." That sound you hear: Thunderous hooves, as the Apocalyptic horsemen approach. [Socialite Life]
• Romeo Beckham is The Dark Knight. [The Sun]
• Balthazar Getty and Matthew Rhys, who play brothers on Brothers & Sisters are not speaking to each other, and it's Sienna Miller's fault. Naturally. [E!]
• Hayden Panettiere, 19, is moving into her own house in West Hollywood. But! Her beau, Milo Ventimiglia, is upset because he thought they were moving in together. Turns out she's wary of Milo, who keeps talking about marriage. A source says: "She's not even old enough to have a drink, so she's not even thinking about settling down." [Star]
• Whoa, there's a feud between Alec Baldwin and Greg Garcia, the exec producer of My Name Is Earl. Alec can't understand why they'd do a one-hour episode of Earl: You've got to be fucking kidding me," he says. Garcia says Alec sounds like a "psychotic narcissist." [Page Six, Defamer]
• This story about Jennifer Aniston is titled: "Did Brangelina Spoil Jennifer For Other Men?" Here is an actual line from the article: "When it comes to men, Jen’s radar seems hopelessly broken, leaving her prey to the serial-shagger charms of men such as [Paul] Sculfor, who is now cosily loved up with Cameron Diaz, and [John] Mayer, who has been involved with a string of other celebs including Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Love Hewitt." [The Sun]
• Amy Winehouse ordered 48 bottles of Jack Daniel's. For a weekend gig. [The Sun]
• Kim Kardashian is helping sister Khloe with Celebrity Apprentice. First assignment: Lunch with Omarosa. Uh-oh! [Page Six]
• Tension in New Kids On The Block? Seems like Donnie won't hang out with the other kids or play their reindeer games. [Page Six]
• Richard Branson says, "The best way to reduce your carbon footprint is not to fly at all. But that's not realistic. You can't walk to England." He has a solution, of course: "Fly Virgin. One hundred percent of all profits from all our airlines are reinvested into finding a cleaner fuel solution. We had an experimental 747 that ran on coconut oil… but it took 150,000 coconuts for one flight. So now we're looking at developing fuel from algae. If you fly Virgin, you'll support this cause." [Rush & Molloy]
• Rachel Weisz was voted Hollywood's hottest babe — in a poll of 4,000 lesbians. [The Sun]
• Actor Joe Pantoliano, aka Ralph Cifaretto on the Sopranos, was at the RNC lobbying for his charity, No Kidding, which deals with brain disease. Joey Pants sufferers from clinical depression. [Page Six]
• The court case between Matt LeBlanc and his former business manager has been settled. You can click to see the court papers or think a happy thought about butterflies, and I suggest the latter, because the papers are a yawn. [ET]
• One year after vowing never to perform on the MTV Awards again, Kanye West will close the show's 25th annual ceremony in Hollywood on Sunday. [Reuters]
• Christina Aguilera will also perform at the VMAs. [Daily Star]
• Don't hold your breath for U2's new album: It's been pushed to 2009. Bono says the band has 50 or 60 new songs to consider for inclusion. Decision time. [Reuters]
• The dude who robbed Kiki Dunst's hotel room last August is getting four years in jail. Maybe that's why his MySpace has Jewish prayer music on it? [Gothamist]
• Ciara: Naked on the cover of Vibe magazine. [Concrete Loop]
• Akon performed in South Africa last week and when one of his female fans embraced him, he violently elbowed her off the stage. [Molly Good]
• Anthony Edwards will appear on the final season of ER, but Dr. Mark Greene is not back from the dead: He'll be in flashback scenes. [AP]
• Are you the Gatekeeper? Columbia Pictures is working on a new installment of Ghostbusters. [LA Times]
• An L.A. businessman is suing Gene Simmons over an Indy Racing League deal. [E!]
• "It's going to stop one day. It's not that you fall. It's just one day there are new people, and, you know, the opportunities aren't what they once were. It happens to everybody, man. I prepare for the worst. I think every show I do, I realize I could get booed off the stage and they could throw tomatoes. Hey — Michael Jackson, man. One day you're Vanilla Ice and the next day you're…Vanilla Ice." — Chris Rock on his career. [Page Six]
• "I live in Costa Rica, way off the grid. We live off solar power, with no car, and no telephone. I'm nothing like my character. I'm more into the environment." — Perrey Reeves, aka Entourage's Mrs. Ari Gold. [Rush & Molloy]
• "I didn't really have any expectations. They say it gives you a little more juice for the first year and that's it. It certainly didn't help me get this movie made." — Helen Hunt, on life after winning an Oscar, and her directorial debut, Then She Found Me, in which Salman Rushie has a part as an obstetrician. [Guardian]
• "The corsets were very restrictive. The worst part was after lunch because they don’t help your digestion." — Keira Knightley on burping her way through The Duchess. [The Sun]
• "I don't always love kids. Sometimes I absolutely loathe them. Children are just people who haven't lived very long yet. I'm predisposed to be affectionate if someone’s smaller but if they're loathsome in the first five minutes, they're loathsome.” — Colin Firth. [Daily Express]
• "I had sex if I had the energy. I wasn't one of those guys who believed in the myths about the guy losing his chi. The fact is that if you are riding your bike six, seven hours a day, you are not a sex champion. You're just not. You have fatigue, low testosterone and a lower libido. But you know, I never got any complaints." — Lance Armstrong to Men's Journal. [Page Six]

• Hip-hop stars, like memoirists, are often accused of embellishing their criminal histories to seem "authentic," but the story of how Senegal-raised Akon manufactured an elaborate fake past replete with car chases, a high-end car theft ring, prison rivalries, and a fictional 75-year sentence that somehow got reduced to two fictional years all so you'd never forget the song "Smack Dat" is... amazing. [The Smoking Gun]
  
• Aliza Shvarts has been obsessed with her uterine lining ever since the Ming Dynasty. [Little Red Book]
  
• The Pope met with five or six of the 1,000 known victims of pedophile priests in the Boston Archdiocese. [AP]
  
• Sometimes Barack Obama gets crap for all his subtle, highfalutin references to controversial thinkers like Marx, but this time... from the bleachers they screamin.' [Attackerman]

• "Tina Feytigue": Is it worth the fact that we like her a little bit less right now if it spreads the word to Lindsay's parental units in the heartland? Discuss. [Videogum]
• The Philadelphia Daily News endorsed Obama. [Philly.com]
• I had been wondering when the time would come that I would learn to spell "Stephanopoulos" without thinking, and now I know it was the moment I read that he was not sorry about asking Barry about flag pins. [Politico]
• "We are, after a decade of reality TV and two years of YouTube, quite accustomed to seeing sad sacks spill their hearts on screen. This display feels so much more uncomfortable. Watch the guests on Jerry Springer and you think, "I can't believe she slept with his sister." Then you watch a while longer and you think, "Oh wait. I can." On the meaning of yesterday's psycho ex-wife YouTube sensation. [Wash Post]