• Lily Allen was performing in Helsinki, Finland when she burst into tears. Before the show, she Tweeted:

"Fell over badly last night and I've really fucked my back up. Just had an injection in my bum. How am I gonna get through tonight's gig?" Throwing out your back is terrible! So is Lily's hair/makeup in these pix. [Daily Mail]

• Bill Maher said he once saw Brad Pitt roll the most perfect joint he had ever seen. "I'm an artist," Brad agreed. [NY Daily News]
• Brad Pitt is being added to Guy Ritchie's Sherlock Holmes as the detective's arch enemy. The character of Moriarty was missing from a rough cut of the film, and movie execs insisted the famous nemesis be added to the flick. Ritchie called old pal Pitt (who was in Snatch) and he'll film this week in London. [Mirror]
• The Dancing With The Stars season 9 cast: Revealed! Macy Gray, Melissa Joan Hart, Kathy Ireland, Mya, Iron Chef host Mark Dacascos, Ashley Hamilton, former Dallas Cowboy Michael Irvin, Donny Osmond, Tom DeLay (?!?!?!), Olympic swimming gold medalist Natalie Coughlin, model Joanna Krupa, Debi Mazar, Kelly Osbourne, Aaron Carter, Chuck Liddell, and snowboarder Louie Vito. [ABC News]
• Jennifer Aniston complimented a woman pole-dancing on the set of The Bounty, saying she looked like a professional. The lady replied, "I am!" [Gatecrasher]
• George Clooney plans to sue a photographer who climbed over the wall of his Lake Como home and took pictures of a 13-year-old girl changing in a guest room, as well as snaps of Clooney and gf Elisabetta Canalis. Cloons says: "I don't know about the law in the United States, but in Italy it's illegal for photographers to climb over my wall. He'll also press charges against two magazines who published the photos. [Gatecrasher]
• Beyoncé: Secretly taking ballet classes at Alvin Ailey School of Dance. [Gatecrasher]
• Jon Gosselin went to a party thrown by a student at Parsons School Of Design. He only stayed for 20 minutes, but arrived with a paparazzo and left with two female students. Keepin' it classy. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Even though Paula Abdul won't be on Dancing With The Stars, she MIGHT get a ABC show of her own. Paula's Wacky Clappy Variety Show? [TMZ]
• Madonna performed in Warsaw on Saturday even though it was a holy date, the Assumption of Mary feast. National group Pro Polonia called her a "crypto-Satanist," which is not very crypto. [Daily Express]
• Bob Dylan was on tour and took a walk in Long Branch, NJ, when he was stopped by cops; a resident had reported someone "wandering" around the neighborhood. A cop asked him for I.D. "I don't think she was familiar with his entire body of work," says a town official. [NY Daily News]
• Jennifer Lopez is looking pretty hot on the cover of InStyle and inside she's saying stuff like: "There's nothing as huge as giving birth to another human being and having to be responsible for another life. There's you before kids, and there's you after kids – and they're not the same you." [People]
• Mark Wahlberg was rushed to the hospital on Friday morning after suffering smoke inhalation on the set of The Frighter. A smoke machine was being used for atmosphere and Wahlberg breathed in too much. [RadarOnline, Daily Express]
• Amy Winehouse's divorce from Blake Fielder-Civil will be finalized at the end of the month, but Blake allegedly told a reporter: "I want to take her out for dinner and propose again. I hope that within five minutes we'll be planning where we're next going to get married." [Daily Mail]
• Blake also says: "She is looking beautiful and healthy now and it reminds me of the old Amy." [News Of The World]
• Amy will appear on Strictly Come Dancing in September as a backup singer for her 13-year-old goddaughter Dionne Bromfield, and there's a cute picture of them hugging at the link. [Mirror]
• Bodysnarky opening sentence of the day: "She's looking thinner than ever, but there's one part of Victoria Beckham that looks set to put on a lot of weight very quickly - her wallet. Posh Spice has landed a £3million contract on American Idol…" [Daily Mail]
• Joe Simpson is pushing Jessica Simpson as the perfect replacement for Paula Abdul on American Idol. [Page Six]
• Saturday night after a Fall Out Boy show, Ashlee Simpson and husband Pete Wentz were at a bar when Ashlee got wasted, yelled at Pete and made him leave his own party early. Charming! [Perez]
• Jane Fonda, 71, might marry 67-year-old Richard Perry next year, which would be her fourth wedding. [Daily Express]
• So many contradictory stories about MJ. We first heard that he was strong during rehearsals. This report claims: "Michael Jackson was so weak in his final days he needed to be SPOON-FED meals, his make-up artist has revealed." [The Sun]
• "Michael Jackson's body has been moved in secret to a new crypt, where it's been frozen." [Daily Express]
• This report claims that Michael Jackson will be buried on what would have been his 51st birthday, August 29. Or so says Joe Jackson. [Gatecrasher]
• You know how Michael Phelps was in a car accident last week? Turns out he was driving with an expired license and told cops he had a beer about an hour before the crash. [TMZ]
• George Michael on his car smashup: "Neither of us was charged because we were both stone cold sober. We both think the other is to blame so this is just an insurance fight." [E!]
• Eva Longoria is expanding her restaurant business, and soon she'll have a Beso Vegas and "Besitos" in ariports. [People]
• Kristin Bauer, who plays Pam on True Blood, thinks Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer will have kids together since Anna is "great" with Stephen's kids from previous relationships. [E!]
• Tons of Gossip Girl spoilers at the link, and yes, there are details on Chuck and Blair — with a HOT picture of the Bass. [People]
• Matthew Settle — Gossip Girl's Rufus — skateboards through New York during rush hour. [NY Times]
• Actress Aishwarya Rai has a chest infection with flu-like symptoms. [Times Of India]
• Anna Friel will play Holly Golightly in an upcoming stage production of Breakfast At Tiffany's in London. [Times Of London]
• The Office's Amy Ryan — who plays Holly Flax — is pregnant. [E!]
• An excerpt of Alana Stewart's book, My Journey With Farrah: A Story Of Life, Love And Friendship, at the link. [Daily Mail]
• Bananarama's back. [Daily Mail]
• Aberdeen, Washington has the title of one hometown hero Kurt Cobain's songs, "Come As You Are," posted at the entrance of town. An unofficial park has been established next to the bridge under which Cobain hung out and wrote songs. [LA Times]
• Blind item! "Which D-list relationship recently ended when the gal found out her man's secret vice was boy-on-boy action?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I can't tell you how far from a gold-digger I am. I've never dated a rich man in my life. I've always wondered how girl friends of mine could even ask their boyfriends to buy them clothes." — Samantha Burke, who was impregnated by Jude Law. [Daily Mail]
• "I thought it was an incredibly sexual role and a challenge to be an 'older woman' in the film. Roles always challenge me in some personal way and that was one I wanted to overcome: 'Wow, all of a sudden, you've become the "Older Woman" in a movie. Let's give the younger ones a run for their money.'" — Anne Heche on playing opposite Ashton Kutcher in Spread. [LA Times]
• "This season, I really want to get back to the guerilla style I used to have. I want to try to get back to my roots and make it crazy. In the first episode, I get buried alive in a coffin, six feet under 5,000 pounds of snow. I want people to realize I'm not complacent because I have a little bit of success and a little money. Hopefully in return I can raise the level of the art form to the level other art forms receive, like the cinema.… I just really loved the ability as a kid to do something that adults didn't understand. It was like power. Then I realized as a teenager that there was more to the art of magic than how you did it. It's trying to connect to somebody." — Criss Angel, whose Mindfreak is back on A&E for its 5th season. [LA Times]
• "I like everything about filming except the acting. In recent years I've had really bad attacks where I totally froze up. I thought 'Well, if I am going to get stage fright, then I am packing it in.'" — Hugh Grant. [Daily Mail]
• "I think anybody that's touring is going to have a carbon footprint. I think it's probably unfair to single out rock 'n' roll. There's many other things that are in the same category but as it happens we have a program to offset whatever carbon footprint we have." — The Edge, annoyed by critics of U2's travel. [Daily Express]
• "The Harry Potter books are not explicitly religious in the way that C.S. Lewis's Narnia tales are, but there is a strong sense of evil, and issues of good and evil are not only philosophical issues but also theological issues." —University of Massachusetts-Amherst philosophy professor Gareth B. Matthews. [UPI]
• "I think when I started I was working in the vein of The Dirty Dozen or The Devil's Brigade. But now watching the completed film with audiences, I don't think there has ever been a World War II movie like it. That can be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on your taste, but it's definitely a thing." — Quentin Tarantino on Inglourious Basterds. [WSJ]
• "Don Cheadle could play me, but I hope they just go with the obvious casting choice." — Richard Belzer, when asked who would play Richard Belzer if his crime novel about a a New York City police detective named Richard Belzer were made into a TV show. [Publishers Weekly]
• "I've had my heart broken before. Truly, truly broken. But when I look back at me in my heartbroken phase, it's pretty hilarious, because it felt so much more extreme than it really was. One of the things I love about (500) Days of Summer is that it doesn't make light of what we go through in romances, but it is honest about it and shows it for what it is, which is often profoundly funny." — Joseph Gordon-Levitt. [Guardian]
• "The speed of news creates so much vertigo. I am a very private person." — Penelope Cruz. [Telegraph]
• "We kind of rolled our eyes at the idea of having to make out." — Amanda Seyfried on her Jennifer's Body girl-on-girl scene with Megan Fox. [Page Six via Entertainment Weekly]
• "I remember really vividly kneeling by my bed as a nine-year-old, saying my prayers and asking God to give me boobs that were so big that if I laid on my back I wouldn't be able to see my feet. Eventually that request was granted. A bit of divine intervention displays the power of prayer. Every time before I go on stage, or go out where I know there will be a lot of press, I take a skipping rope and spend about ten minutes, fully clothed, skipping. I look like Rocky. This way I can ensure that everything is firmly in place and I won't have a wardrobe malfunction. Don't want those boulders doing a show of their own." — Katy Perry. [The Sun]

• Though Kate Gosselin filed for divorce from Jon on Monday, the filing does not contain custody information at this time. Will Kate ask for primary custody? How much time will Jon get? [Star Magazine]

• By the by, those Crooked Houses Jon & Kate's 8 play in? $7,000 a piece. [ABC News]
• Kate Gosselin is on People magazine, with the cover line: "It feels like I failed." [People]
• New Jon & Kate episodes will include Jon's new girlfriend, 23-year-old Deanna Hummel. [Gatecrasher]
• "Reports this week claim Aniston has been sent text messages by Angelina Jolie demanding she 'back off'." Heh. Hahhaha. Ha. [Daily Mail]
• Is Britney Spears going to be in a Nazi movie? Brain… cannot… compute. [National Ledger]
• Rihanna didn't take the stand in Chris Brown's court case, so now Cover Girl has resumed its ad campaign featuring the singer. It's okay to think she's pretty again! [TMZ]
• Perez Hilton has released a new statement in which he says: "Words can hurt." And: "I wish none of it had happened. I can't take it back." And: "Who I am as a person and what I do for a living are two separate things." And: "Several television and radio shows over the past couple of days echoed the sentiment 'He had it coming'. Would they have said the same thing if I was a woman? Would I have 'deserved it' if I had been stabbed? Or shot? Or killed?" [Perez]
• Anne Hathaway loans her friends designer dresses out of her closet. [Gatecrasher]
• If you work for Oprah, you're going on a trip! She is taking 100 employees - and their families - on an all-expenses paid 10-day cruise around the Mediterranean. JEALOUS. [Gatecrasher via Pop Crunch]
• "Madonna is trying to recreate her beloved Wiltshire manor in the middle of Manhattan." [The Sun]
• "Fitness fanatic Madonna has banned smoking roadies from coming within 50ft of her…" [The Sun]
• Video of Zachary Quinto walking his dog with a friend who is dressed as a giant steak. Quinto falls, curses. The walking resumes. Inexplicable. [ONTD]
• LOL: Ellen's variety show will be called Bigger Longer & Wider. It debuts on TBS this Saturday at 9pm, with Kanye West, David Blaine and Nick Cannon among the performers. [USA Today]
• More drama involving Danielle Staub from the Real Housewives of New Jersey: The Smoking Gun has discovered that in 1986, she was charged with eight felonies, including extortion, cocaine possession, and narcotics conspiracy. And you know how Staub told People she was "never a prostitute. Never"? She told a federal agent she worked for an escort service. [MSNBC, The Smoking Gun]
• Great Q&A with Teresa from RHONJ at the link; she's asked if there's a little too much onyx and granite in her house abd says: "No, I don't think you can ever have too much. I coulda had more." [Newsweek]
• And! When asked, "On a scale of 1 to 10 how much does Danielle annoy you?" Teresa answers: "20." [Newsweek]
• The stuff dreams are made of: James Franco reading Proust. [Page Six]
• Were Megan Fox and Josh Brolin involved in a New Orleans fire? [Page Six]
• Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo: Over. But those hot tub pix live forever! [People]
• Liev Schreiber plays a cross-dresser in Ang Lee's film Taking Woodstock and says: "[Ang] really did like my legs. When I went to his office, the first thing he said to me was, 'Wow, you have really nice legs.' I thought, 'This part is mine.'" [NY Mag]
• Pardon my groan: The Jonas Brothers are on the cover of Rolling Stone (again) looking like they bought fake IDs and are headed to the local leather bar to watch some bear on cub wrestling. [JustJared]
• "Martina Navratilova sued for millions by 'wife' after being 'dumped without warning.'" [Daily Mail]
• Katherine Heigl will star in a romance flick called Life As We Know It, which she is producing with her mother. [Variety]
• Daniel Craig will star in Dream House, a psychological thriller about a man who moves his family to a small town only to find it haunted by the former inhabitants who were murdered there. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Craig Robinson, Heather Graham, Johnny Knoxville and Camilla Belle will join Kevin Spacey in the comedy Father Of Invention, which Spacey is producing. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Julianne Hough probably won't be in Footloose, as her acting is abominable. [Page Six]
• Audrina Patridge of The Hills is getting her own reality show, creatively titled The Audrina Show. [EW]
• Epic Marilyn Manson interview! He talks about how he felt when he and Evan Rachel Wood broke up: "My walls were covered in scrawlings of the lyrics and cocaine bags nailed to the wall. And I did have an experience where I was struggling to deal with being alone and being forsaken and being betrayed by putting your trust in one person, and making the mistake of that being the wrong person. And that's a mistake that everyone can relate to. I made the mistake of trying to, desperately, grasp on and save that and own it. And every time I called her that day — I called 158 times — I took a razorblade and I cut myself on my face or on my hands." [Spin]
• Marilyn Manson also says of Evan Rachel Wood: "I have fantasies every day about smashing her skull in with a sledgehammer." [Spin]
• John Travolta is in South Africa, as a way to honor his late son who loved safaris. [TMZ]
• Is R. Kelly involved in a scam that robbed the elderly of £1million? [The Sun]
• Bollywood actress Aishwarya Rai is involved with some kind of illegal purchase of land, uh-oh. [Times of India]
• Michael Madsen owes Pierce Brosnan and Quentin Tarantino money. Not ten bucks — like $25,000 to Brosnan and $1 million to QT. [TMZ]
• "Rachel Hunter devastated as ice hockey player fiancé calls off wedding SEVEN WEEKS before big day." [Daily Mail]
• Come on baby shake your pigskin: Gloria Estefan and her husband Emilio are buying a share in the NFL's Miami Dolphins. [UPI]
• Joan Rivers is moving to L.A. and selling her Upper East side condo and Connecticut cottage, which is "so filled to the brim with campy knickknackery that it almost looks découpaged" and where Joan keeps a photograph of herself next to the bed. [NY Mag]
• Phil Spector is now in the "sensitive needs" area of California state prison, which is separate from the "gen pop." [USA Today]
• Blind item! "Which TV star will absolutely scream when she discovers her husband was chasing girls at an L.A. nightclub over the weekend?" [Gatecrasher]
• Q. Was it fun flipping the table? A: "Fun? It was heat of the moment and it was something that came spontaneously. That was my anger coming out. I just had enough of her. I was just done. I've never done it before. Will I ever do it again? I don't think so because I don't think I'll let someone get to me like she does because in real life I probably would have stopped hanging out with her." — Teresa, of The Real Housewives Of New Jersey. [Newsweek]
• "I'd be a liar if I said it was easy. I think it's very different nowadays for working mothers. Before, a woman could take two years off - a year for her pregnancy and then the first year, but I don't think that's possible for women in showbusiness or in any industry any more. You just have to keep going - keep looking forward. If you stop, you're like, 'Oh God, it's too overwhelming.' And believe me, I've had my fair share of those moments." — Anna Friel. [Telegraph]
• "I really cannot tell you if there will ever be another Batman movie. Chris [Nolan, director] has obviously done an incredible job with it. He's devoted to the movie that he's on right now. I'm none the wiser about we'll ever be revisiting Gotham or not." — Christian Bale. Of another Terminator movie he says: "No conversation has been had about that at all." [Pop Wrap]
• "That song is about when someone said to me, 'Okay, I want to be with you until I die.' And then they gave up. I was at the point in my life where I was like, 'Okay, let's die, but I tell you what, I'm going to kill you first, because I don't trust you.' Honestly. It's hard to look back and see myself as the same person. I'm very objective now. I started to apply this really fantastic rule that they don't teach you in AA or AAA, or any other acronym: Do drugs and drink when you're happy, not when you're sad. It has a great effect. But I can't say that I did that the whole time." — Marilyn Manson, still talking about Evan Rachel Wood. [Spin]
• "She's a lot shorter than I thought she would be, but I was pleased by that. I'm happy there was a flaw. Having said that, I think Angelina is pretty talented. And a remarkable human being, and a great mom. She's definitely not like any other lady I know." — Six foot three Liev Schreiber, on his five foot eight Salt costar Angelina Jolie. [Gatecrasher]
• "I did teach Abby how to say the f-word. I taught her how to drop the f-bomb in every way possible. I said, 'You're a child in an adult's world. I can't be a child for you. When she didn't swear, I said, 'You're starting to offend me Abby. If you don't start swearing every three words then I will fine you.'" — Cameron Diaz, 36 on working with Abigail Breslin, 13 in My Sister's Keeper. [Mirror]
• "I am so often puzzled [by journalists]. Sometimes they go, 'So what's this all about? ... What do you look like when you go home? Do you dress like this all the time?' It's rude! It's not nice… [Lady Gaga] is who I am. Me and my hair bow, we go to bed together. She sleeps where I sleep." — Lady GaGa. [Yahoo News via AP]

[Cannes, May 13. Image via Getty]

[Paris, February 10. Image via Getty]

The Good:

Regal Cate Blanchett wears filmy ruffles with aplomb.

Aaaah! I love Bar Refaeli's dress. Fitted yet flowy, simple yet detailed. Check out the back:

Gorgeous.

Elsa Zylberstein shines in sunny yellow.

Love the color and the ruffles on Natalie Portman's little purple dress.

I hate it when I like something about Eva Longoria. But vivid Mediterranean blue on the red carpet is exactly right for the French Riviera. Ooh, Aishwarya Rai looks good too, even if her skirt is a wee wrinkly.

Lord, I love me some Faye Dunaway. Soft and glowing in rosy pink.

The Bad:

Hair pulled too tight and dress that looks too stiff make Devon Aoki resemble a mermaid out of water. With a scale disease.

Andrea Osvart's dress isn't exactly bad, but on the Cannes red carpet you're supposed to turn it up a notch.

It's hard to explain why Mischa Barton's gown doesn't feel right: Too heavy, too detailed, too dark? Not well-fitting enough?

Afef Jnifen is some kind of foxy model/actress. Love her hair, hate her dress. Huge sleeve or huge skirt. Not both.

Wow, Gillian Anderson! It's been so long! Great to see her. It would be even better to see her in a more flattering dress.

The Ugly:

Eleonara Abbagnata's dress appears to made of seaweed.

Julianne Moore is beautiful. And I appreciate a gown that takes risks, that dares to be different. I like when design is quirky and clever. But parrot feathers and fabric flowers and a detailed waist and sheer under sheer? Bad. In my opinion. I mean look!

A beautiful woman in an ugly dress.

[Images via Getty and Bauer-Griffin.]