Here is a "charming" video starring the Australian cast of The Lion King, singing "The Circle of Life." On a plane. This is supposed to be cute, but in fact it's my worst nightmare, because there's nothing worse than being trapped in an enclosed space and subjected to talent.
It's been nearly a week since Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 disappeared somewhere between Kuala Lumpur and Beijing, and we still have basically no idea where it went. Chatter about the missing plane (MISSING! AN ENTIRE GREAT BIG PLANE!!!) has grown more frantic and more bewildered by the day, and at this point a lot of…
Air travel has changed so much since the days of Mad Men, boozing businessmen and socially acceptable sexual harassment. So you'd think that, by now, everyone would have gotten the message to leave the flight attendants the hell alone. Not so, apparently!
Discount air carrier Spirit Airlines is offering travelers a discount on trips to the Caribbean. Sorry— to use their words, they're inviting travelers to "go down on them" to the Caribbean since they've "shaved" their fares. Get it? Pussy.
If you tried to fly over the past week, chances are you spent hours or days trapped in an airport, slowly going insane. This is because relying on airplanes for transport into or out of cold climates during January is the height of foolishness, and unless I have to, I'm never going to do it again. It's a half-miracle…
On a crack-of-dawn flight from New York City to Seattle recently, I had my first ever, um, altercation with a seat mate. I'd almost missed the plane—I was that person staggering on board just before the doors closed—and I'm sure he thought he was going to have the row all to himself. I flashed him an apologetic smile…
Ugh, people are the worst. Most days, I can barely even look at them. The way they eat, the way they breathe, the way they look at you all needy with their eyes wanting you to care about them. It's disgusting. So it's no surprise that a survey about things people hate most about other people on planes revealed that…
There's no getting around the fact that flying sucks, and none of the changes (for anyone who can't afford a business class ticket) airlines have made in recent years have made it any more tolerable. Flying is especially crappy for heavier passengers, who are still subjected to the same discomfort and inconvenience…
You can only breastfeed on an American Airlines flight if you do so with a "certain discretion and a sense of modesty" endorsed by a flight attendant, according to one angry lactating flyer.
A teenage girl claims a passenger spent "long periods" of a six-hour fight "masturbating and exposing his penis" without being stopped by flight staff — who knew exactly what was up but declined to move her to another seat or, like, tell him to put his junk back in his pants before takeoff and landing.
There are a lot of terrible misdeeds in the annals of air travel, but an incident involving a crying toddler and a racist old creep that allegedly took place on an Atlanta-bound flight last Friday, February 8, might take all the pretzel snack packs. According to the FBI, an apparently cantankerous 60-year-old man got…
Female flight attendants on South Korea's Asiana Airlines, the country's second largest commercial flight company, might be getting a uniform redesign after lobbying for the company to relax its incredibly strict appearance requirements. Asiana's labor union has been working with South Korea's human rights commission…
Although sleeping on airplanes qualifies as actual sleep no more than that SkyMall stainless steel wallet qualifies as something you want, it's still the holy grail. Achieving slumber is not easy; it's impossible to do so without looking somewhat stupid. And the manner in which you doze can reveal quite a bit about…
Have you heard of "airline dating," the hot new online dating trend? Probably not, because it is not actually a hot new online dating trend. But websites for lonely travelers who'd rather find love during a layover than seek out delicious snacks do exist; Steve Pasternack started meetattheairport.com after he,…
As if airplanes weren't gross and awful enough as it is, a New Jersey man was indicted Thursday for sexually abusing a woman who had fallen asleep next to him on a United Airlines flight from Phoenix to Newark. According to the CNN, a man named Bawer Aksal was detained on August 21 upon arriving in the lovely…
Carly Fleischmann is a 17-year-old author who has a form of autism that prevents her from speaking. Doctors said she would never intellectually develop beyond the abilities of a small child, but Carly eventually began using a computer to communicate and now carries an iPad with her so she can "talk" on the go.
Last week, model Melissa Stetten had the apparent misfortune of sitting next to soap actor Brian Presley on a plane. According to Stetten's Twitter feed, Presley lied about not having a wife and was drinking beer the whole time, which is interesting because he has a wife and kids and is usually pretty sanctimonious…
What's the thing you value most in an airline? Reliability? Experience? Safety? Well, if you answered "cuteness" then you might want to consider flying with Hello Kitty Air. Yes, of course that is an actual thing. Taiwanese airline EVA air now has Hello Kitty-themed planes where you can enjoy an in-flight experience…
If you're really desperate to have sex in mid-air and live within reasonable proximity of Cincinnati, — a city now not only famous for its hideous football uniforms but for its aeronautical libertines — you can pay a voyeuristic pilot to listen to you have sex with your SO in the back of his Cessna. Flight is, after…
As far as first world problems go, air travel is one of the worst. When you are on the plane, there is no leg room, you have to negotiate armrest real estate with your seat partner and flight attendants give you the side eye when you simply ask for the warm chocolate cookie that you were promised (never forgive, never…
