There's a calm that comes with surrender. Like Joan of Arc on the stake or a particularly stoic French aristocrat approaching his own death at the guillotine, we the American people have made finally peace with our makers and are giving in to the slow torture that accompanies a trip to the airport.
It's hard on the ultra-rich when they're forced to fly commercial. In consideration of their delicate sensibilities, airlines are increasingly pampering first and business-class passengers on international flights. The new hotness: Keeping them far, far away from the wretched, seething crowds of coach.
If you tried to fly over the past week, chances are you spent hours or days trapped in an airport, slowly going insane. This is because relying on airplanes for transport into or out of cold climates during January is the height of foolishness, and unless I have to, I'm never going to do it again. It's a half-miracle…
On a crack-of-dawn flight from New York City to Seattle recently, I had my first ever, um, altercation with a seat mate. I'd almost missed the plane—I was that person staggering on board just before the doors closed—and I'm sure he thought he was going to have the row all to himself. I flashed him an apologetic smile…
About 50 passengers were told that their fully booked flight had been canceled because of a mechanical problem. That's when they noticed the Gators basketball team boarding.
There's no getting around the fact that flying sucks, and none of the changes (for anyone who can't afford a business class ticket) airlines have made in recent years have made it any more tolerable. Flying is especially crappy for heavier passengers, who are still subjected to the same discomfort and inconvenience…
These bourgeois pigs in business class must be purged from our skies. Why let them board an airplane early, free from the desperate urge to jostle for a space in the overhead bin for their sensible leather carry-on just so they can sip mimosas and sneer at the poor, corn syrup-coated plebes seated in zones 2 through…
Female flight attendants on South Korea's Asiana Airlines, the country's second largest commercial flight company, might be getting a uniform redesign after lobbying for the company to relax its incredibly strict appearance requirements. Asiana's labor union has been working with South Korea's human rights commission…
According to ABC News, the Armavia Airlines flight was en route from Siberia to Armenia's capital of Yerevan on Saturday when 31-year-old Armina Babayan went into labor. You're probably thinking, "Wait, hella pregnant ladies aren't supposed to fly!" Well, during check-in, Babayan claimed she was just 6.5 months…
Well, this sucks. Late last month, Bronx resident Vilma Soltesz and her husband Janos tried to board three separate airlines from Hungary to New York City, but they were repeatedly turned away. Why? Well, because they couldn't stuff Vilma's fatness into the plane, a seat, a wheelchair, an elevator — take your pick.…
If you're a soccer (ugh, fine, football) fan, you'd be hard pressed to find a team bigger or more superstarry than FC Barcelona. But with great fame and power comes great ass ache, as Lionel Messi and his teammates can't seem to go anywhere without getting hounded for autographs and pictures. That's why they've asked…
Multiple airlines reserve the right to force any man sitting next to an unaccompanied minor to switch seats with a woman. They say the policy is due to "parental concerns," but it's probably mostly due to the airline companies wanting to cover their asses; parents have sued airlines over child molestation incidents in…
Virgin Australia is trying to compete with Qantas for all the fancy-pants business class travelers, a move that has prompted some changes to the standard Australian flight attendant mannerisms. No longer will flight attendants, for example, be allowed to greet passengers with that charming Australianism we…
At least five sandwiches served aboard four various Delta flights from Amsterdam to the United States this past Sunday were found to be contaminated with sewing needles, leaving two passengers suffering with minor mouth injuries. The sandwiches were made by U.S. company Gate Gourmet at Amsterdam's Schiphol Airport.…
The Jezebel inbox receives all sorts of interesting messages, from helpful tips to furious gibberish. Often, the missives strike us as poetic — in the chaos of the mailbag, we can find a sense of peace. As such, we have taken it upon ourselves to let some messages grow into the poetry they are meant to be. And we will…
Airlines have noticed that hurtling through the sky in a shrieking tube of metal while fending off questions like, "What's that you're reading, neighbor?" from your socially oblivious seatmate is downright unpleasant, so they're trying really hard to make it be less unpleasant by implementing all sorts of…
American Airlines has just pulled ahead in the race to find new and devious ways of making air travel as inconvenient and terrifying as possible with news that a Chicago-bound flight was delayed in Dallas for one whole hour after a flight attendant hijacked (whoops!) the intercom and told patients that a) she was no…
Two ads for the airline Ryanair have been banned in the UK, on the grounds that their pictures of Ryanair employees in their underwear are offensive. Given how much worse shit exists out there, though, the decision is a little surprising.
It's time to stop worrying about dying in a plane crash! Sure, the inconvenience and unpleasantness of flying may sometimes make you wish you were dead, but, according to new statistics, air travel is becoming increasingly less likely to actually kill you.
Lynn Jones, the baggage handler who was fired after she refused to transport a dog who looked like he was being abused, has been offered her job back. Her employer, Airport Terminal Services, will also make a donation to the Nevada Humane Society. The dog above expresses how we feel about this decision.
