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posts about #agerage more →
Bitch Wrinkles, Bingo Wings, And Vampire Dinner Lips: Are Women Really Celebrating The "New Body Lexicon?"
Can You Avoid Falling Into The "Anti-Aging" Trap?
What, Exactly, Is "Age Appropriate" Clothing?
Real Age Is Real Dumb
Scientists Claim That "Old Age" Begins At 27
Shane Watson: "Why Do Women Feel Useless?"
Older Actresses Face "Age Appropriate" Fashion Choices
Is John Cleese's 27-Year-Old Girlfriend Really 45?

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MilointheMeadow
08/01/09

In reply to Bitch Wrinkles, Bingo Wings, And Vampire Dinner Lips: Are Women Really Celebrating The "New Body Lexicon?"
I passed by an Origins today and it had a picture of the side of a woman's face "before and after" the use of some cream. They described her heavy cheeks as creating "jowl lines."

I have a full, round face. Never have I considered the possibility or likelihood of jowls on anything other than a bulldog. And I looooove me some cute dog jowls :)
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Chamalla,barren crone
08/01/09

In reply to Bitch Wrinkles, Bingo Wings, And Vampire Dinner Lips: Are Women Really Celebrating The "New Body Lexicon?"
I earned the "11" between my eyes from years of expecting the most from my students, reinforced with a look of skepticism when they gave me excuses for not trying. (also while reading articles like Hampson's)
I earned my "vampire dinner lips" and the crow's feet by my eyes because I like to laugh, roll my eyes and make funny faces at babies.
I earned my "menopot" when I survived my hysterectomy.
These aren't flaws, these are medals of honor. They're tributes to my resilience, my humor and my passion. I refuse to believe anything else. So stop trying to sell me stuff by making me hate myself, world, the jig is up.
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Edited by Chamalla,barren crone at 08/01/09 7:37 PM

Jilder
08/01/09

In reply to Bitch Wrinkles, Bingo Wings, And Vampire Dinner Lips: Are Women Really Celebrating The "New Body Lexicon?"
I quite like bingo wings as a term. It suggests the ability to inspire divine grace, especially in situations involving games of chance.

Every time the break bell bell rings, a game hall angel gets her wings.

The rest of those though, not so much.
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whynotshesaid
08/01/09

In reply to Bitch Wrinkles, Bingo Wings, And Vampire Dinner Lips: Are Women Really Celebrating The "New Body Lexicon?"
I refuse to read the list of terms. I'm still fuming over "cankles."
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Mellalune
08/01/09

In reply to Bitch Wrinkles, Bingo Wings, And Vampire Dinner Lips: Are Women Really Celebrating The "New Body Lexicon?"
It's my male friends who chortle about "gunts" and make up oh-so-clever terms like "cleveland brown" (nice uniform, ugly helmet). Women might snark and nitpick at other women's appearances, but they don't categorically nickname every supposedly unattractive body part for laughs.
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Mellalune
08/01/09

@Mellalune: Also, some men just get a kick out of coming up with mysogenistic, derogatory terms for everything under the sun. See: urban dictionary.
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lola_in_the_dark
08/01/09

In reply to Bitch Wrinkles, Bingo Wings, And Vampire Dinner Lips: Are Women Really Celebrating The "New Body Lexicon?"
It's women who come up with these terms? Did women also come up with THO aka titty hard on? Because I believe it was always boys who yelled that gem at me, not women.
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morninggloria
08/01/09

In reply to Bitch Wrinkles, Bingo Wings, And Vampire Dinner Lips: Are Women Really Celebrating The "New Body Lexicon?"
This is giving me BrainFrown and Rageahrrea. Mental signs of years of being fucking tired of this shit.
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Pandorasvoicebox
08/01/09

In reply to Bitch Wrinkles, Bingo Wings, And Vampire Dinner Lips: Are Women Really Celebrating The "New Body Lexicon?"
Hating on your body's "imperfections" is stupid. Someone, somewhere will love exactly those things about you--your freckles, squishy bits, gap between your teeth, scars, your funny walk, or just the way your hair falls on your forehead (or, in my mom's case, the way my dad doesn't have any hair at all!).

I remember once during sexytimes I told my boyfriend that my favorite part of his body was his back (which is all tan and muscular and shapely, yum, but I digress). I pointed out that I especially liked "these lines in the small of your back." Him: "Those are stretch marks. I had a growth spurt, okay?" No surprise he was self-conscious, but fuck it. I find his "stretch marks" really sexy--they're unique, and they look tough like scars. People who think they're ugly can go wallow in their own negativity.
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hortense promoted this comment Edited by Pandorasvoicebox at 08/01/09 6:08 PM Pandorasvoicebox was starred Pandorasvoicebox was unstarred

electricbubbles
08/01/09

@Pandorasvoicebox: Your comment was well articulated and really touched me, especially at the end. I'm having a spell where I hate my body a lot, and hearing what you said helps.

I think if our mainstream media had a more diverse focus (aka not showing the same types of people all the time) we would be more accepting of our wonky teeth, weird knees, and funny noses. But we see the same things and are told THIS IS BEAUTIFUL, so we start to believe that if we aren't what we see, we aren't beautiful. Beauty should be individual and unique.
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squirrelcop
08/01/09

In reply to Bitch Wrinkles, Bingo Wings, And Vampire Dinner Lips: Are Women Really Celebrating The "New Body Lexicon?"
Hortense, I fear one of your links is mislabled! It should read: Obsession With Female Body Parts Has Created A New Body Lexicon [Mad Magazine, circa 1962]
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Edited by squirrelcop at 08/01/09 6:11 PM squirrelcop was starred squirrelcop was unstarred

hortense
08/01/09

@squirrelcop: Oh, I wish!
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jenjen
08/01/09

In reply to Bitch Wrinkles, Bingo Wings, And Vampire Dinner Lips: Are Women Really Celebrating The "New Body Lexicon?"
There's something different about this sort of joking in private between you and your friends or family vs in the public space. My mom and I have giggles over our "armajello" but if someone else points it out, I sure don't find it amusing. Us wimmin - we're craaazy!
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sassy
08/01/09

In reply to Bitch Wrinkles, Bingo Wings, And Vampire Dinner Lips: Are Women Really Celebrating The "New Body Lexicon?"
That list is ridiculous. I have the wonderfully named "suitcase knees" but not from being old, but rather a medical condition. Do people even stop to think that the things they are mocking are the result of medical conditions, and not because we're all a bunch of sad old ladies?
It drives me crazy that every part of a person's body is up for criticism, and the only way that there is an hope of silence is if we all trade in our proper bodies for some Borg-like hybrid bullshit.
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greengrey
08/01/09

In reply to Bitch Wrinkles, Bingo Wings, And Vampire Dinner Lips: Are Women Really Celebrating The "New Body Lexicon?"
"it's articles like these that make women so self conscious about their 'aging female parts.'"
EXACTLY. Those terms are gross/horrifying, and some (saddlebags?) aren't even associated with aging, just with a body being considered "unattractive". Oddly, I'm fine with reclaiming terms like bitch/cunt/slut, but the second I notice a "bitch wrinkle" I'll be shelling out for "bitch botox".
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labeled
08/01/09

@greengrey: Fuck that, I have them, and I've earned them, and I'm keeping them. I tend to furrow my brow when I'm (as Hortense suggested) thinking. I'm not going to be embracing "bitch wrinkle" any time soon - but I'm sure as shit not going to perpetuate the idea that because I am older I am of less worth to anyone.

I'm a lot of things - but I'm not someone else's punchline. Or guideline, come to think of it.
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Poubelle
08/01/09

In reply to Bitch Wrinkles, Bingo Wings, And Vampire Dinner Lips: Are Women Really Celebrating The "New Body Lexicon?"
I had to read this post closely. Seeing the word "Mail" associated with an article like this automatically made me think it was from the Daily Mail.

How come on men they're called laugh lines but on women they're crows' feet? Is it because any woman who has such lines can't possibly be enjoying life enough to laugh?
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msAnthrope
08/01/09

@Poubelle:

and the "bitch wrinkle"~~ what's that called when a man has it? cause plenty of men do.
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MilointheMeadow
08/01/09

@Poubelle: All I know is, I was stirring dead babies in my cauldron one day with the end of my broomstick when all of a sudden one of my magical crows flew in and scratched the skin by my eyes. Totally out of nowhere. Then I grabbed him and roasted him for dinner.

True story.
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yellowsubroutine
07/12/09

In reply to Can You Avoid Falling Into The "Anti-Aging" Trap?
Which year would I give up to pass as younger? The year I met my husband? The year I finished my master's degree? The year I took a chance and moved halfway around the world on my own? Each of my 34 years on this earth has been defined by the people I've met, the places I've been, and the experiences I've had. When people look at me, I want them to see every single one of those years. I want them to see who I am.
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foodandshoes
07/12/09

In reply to Can You Avoid Falling Into The "Anti-Aging" Trap?
I feel the same way. With my natural SPF and a mother who looks strangely young and the fact that I am 36 and people still ask me what my "major" is, I have generally avoid any angst about aging. But then again I am greying at an alarming rate (!) and I am going through a 2nd hormone filled adolescence where I am breaking out like a teenager. Ugh.
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