• A source claims that Lindsay Lohan "stormed out of" Brittany Gastineau's birthday party in tears after her ex-girlfriend, Courtenay Semel confronted her at the party and tried to talk her into going to rehab. [PageSix]

• "Everyone was trying to keep [Lohan and Semel] apart, especially since Courtenay is recently out of rehab and has pleaded with Lindsay to do the same," says a source, "Everything was fine for a while, and Lindsay seemed happy, but then there was a confrontation when she came out of the bathroom, and she ran out in tears. Everyone fears she's on some kind of self-destructive collision course." [PageSix]
• Meanwhile, Lindsay also reportedly has a crush on Leonardo DiCaprio. "Lindsay has a major crush on Leo but that's as far as it goes right now. She knows him, they are friends but that's it. Lindsay is ready to be more then friends with Leo but he doesn't see her that way." [ShowbizSpy]
• According to Ian Halperin, author of Brangelina: The Untold Story of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie , it was Angelina Jolie who came up with the storyline that Jennifer Aniston put her career ahead of having a family with Brad Pitt, as she "was convinced that this is the story that would resonate with all these women who saw her as a man-stealing bitch." [USWeekly]
• Katie Holmes looks very tired and like she wants you to get out of her way when she goes out to get coffee. Celebrities! And so on and so forth. [DailyMail]
• Daniel Radcliffe's rep claims that Harry Potter doesn't smoke pot, regardless of what the tabloids are saying: "Daniel does smoke the occasional roll-up cigarette, but he was not doing anything more than this." 420 points from Gryffindor! [PageSix]
• Kevin Spacey says that living in London has given him "a whole new perspective, not only on America, but on the world itself." He also says he's "starting to dress a little more formally, too, wearing British designer suits - which would have made my mother very proud." [DailyMail]
• Leona Lewis has turned down a $1 million offer to pose for Playboy. [TheSun]
• Liam Gallagher says that the remaining members of Oasis will carry on as a new band after Noel Gallagher's departure. "We're sort of doing things at the moment," he says, "Not Oasis, Oasis is done. Everyone except for Noel." [Reuters]
• Alanis Morrissette says she struggled with anorexia and bulimia as a teenager, and that being in recovery has helped her strengthen several aspects of her life: ""I'm really clear about what my life mission is now. There's no more depression or lethargy, and I feel like I've returned to the athlete I once was. I'm integrating all the parts of me — jock, musician, writer, poet, philosopher — and becoming stronger as a result." [CNN]
• Leading porn company Vivid Entertainment has "legally obtained" a copy of Carrie Prejean's "solo sex tape" and wants her to sign off before they distribute it. Yeah, right. She is so not doing this. Though in fairness, I Am Doing This would probably make a good title for the tape, no? [TMZ]
• Emmy Rossum was not amused when a DJ tried to compare her relationship with Adam Duritz to that of Rose McGowan and Marilyn Manson. [DailyExpress]
• "I used to repeat with many of the actors and actresses I've worked with, because it's a like an investment. If you find someone that you understand very well and they get you, it saves time and it also gives you more security. [With Penélope], I'm willing to push her as far as possible. I know her versatility, and am interested by the idea of working with her in 10 years when she's 45 and it's an entirely different character."-Pedro Almodovar, on working with Penelope Cruz. [WSJ]
• Joey Lawrence and his wife are expecting their second daughter in April. If you feel the need to celebrate, I suggest watching this. [People]
• Oprah apologized to Robin Givens on her show yesterday for a show she'd taped with Mike Tyson, wherein Oprah's audience laughed after Tyson noted he wanted to "sock" Givens after an interview she gave Barbara Walters about their abusive relationship. "I would say to you and every woman, who has ever been hit, I feel that I did not handle that as well as I should have and I feel that I could have gone further and should have said more to clarify that what he was doing and what he was saying was wrong," Oprah said, "So I apologize to you and I apologize to every woman who has ever been in that situation." [DailyExpress]
• Kiefer Sutherland would like you to know that he has not reconciled with his ex-wife, Kelly Winn, though they have "have remained good friends since they separated in 1999." 
[People]
• A source claims that Alex Rodriguezis thinking of proposing to Kate Hudson: "He's been talking about proposing quite a bit lately. He wants to think of a creative and cute way to pop the question." [ShowbizSpy]
• The man accused of trying to extort money from Cindy Crawford and her husband, Rande Gerber by threatening to publish a "provocative photo" of the couple's daughter is also being accused of repeatedly beating and raping his ex-wife. [NYDN]
• Stephenie Meyer says that Robert Pattinson resembles the Edward Cullen she always imagined: "There's something unusual. There are moments where he looks exactly like he did in my head." [E!]
• "If I could choose any role other than mine I would not mind playing Bella. That girl is facing some issues and it would be fun to get inside her mind for a day."-Taylor Lautner [ShowbizSpy]
• "I just want to say though, that if people have a problem with designers or magazines using too thin models, they should just stop buying the designers' clothes or the magazines. Don't buy them and then complain about it and feel bad about yourself! Use your power. Magazines will change if no one's buying them, believe me."-Cindy Crawford [TimesOnline]
• "Everyone in my family knows that I try to eat healthy and I'm trying to cut back on sugar. So I look at the dessert table at my mother's house and quietly grumble. But then, sure enough, there's always the one thing that is the kryptonite of my dessert life. So I shove the spoon in and eat the chocolate-pudding cake. Mom wins, and the whole crowd has a good laugh."-Alec Baldwin, Team Cake. [Parade]

[Los Angeles, November 3. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

• Lady Gaga, Gay Activist! She "was the highest-wattage celebrity to attend both the Human Rights Campaign dinner Saturday night and the National Equality March on Sunday." Reporter Dan Zak writes:

"Nearby rally-goers screeched her name. She had marched with the crowds from her hotel after shrugging off security concerns, and had just finished a short speech to an enraptured throng of tens of thousands on the West Lawn. Glittery signs reading 'Gay for Gaga' and 'Lady Gaga {heart} Equality, U Should 2' poked up from the rainbowed masses." "I will never turn my back on my friends," said Lady Gaga, before disappearing from the rally. "Today is not a one-off performance."She also said: "In the music industry there's still a tremendous amount of accommodation of homophobia," she said. "So I'm taking a stand… I'm not going to play one of my songs tonight because tonight is not about me. It's about you." She sang John Lennon's "Imagine," but changed some of the lyrics. [WaPo]

• Miley Cyrus and her sister Brandi ate $70 worth of meat and mac 'n cheese at the Outback Steakhouse in Burbank last week. Miley paid with a $100 bill… and kept the change. Her spokesperson explains: She didn't know she was supposed to tip unless she was eating inside." Pardon? When has that ever been the case? [Rush & Molloy]
• Christina Hendricks married Geoffrey Arend — he was hilarious in 500 Days Of Summer! — at Il Buco restaurant in New York on Sunday. Congrats! [People]
• Jon Gosselin says that he wasn't the only one who took cash out of the joint account; Jon filed papers claiming Kate withdrew over $60,000 from their joint account between July and September 2009. But a source says Kate's transactions were legal; Jon didn't have permission. [TMZ]
• Jon Gosselin believes that Kate has control of more than one million dollars and that if she doesn't have a job, it's not his fault. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Jon Gosselin will light a menorah this year, partly because of gf Hailey Glassman. "This is the first year I will celebrate Chanukah. Everyone in my life is Jewish now, my attorney. I love it. I'm now half Jewish and half Korean. The family values are great… They gave her a free tummy tuck, worth $20 grand." I'm sure I'm not alone here when I say: Oy. [Rush & Molloy]
• Dina Lohan says that Lindsay's brother Michael is on academic scholarship at Ithaca (college)… and "He's also is doing a movie!" This paper reacts with the headline, "Oh no! Not another one!" [The Sun]
• Katie Holmes wants to send Suri to Catholic School, and noted Scientologist Tom Cruise is okay with it. Suri is already enrolled in Catholic Charities Yawkey Centre For Early Education And Learning in Boston, where Tom is filming the movie Wichita. [Daily Mail]
• Angelina Jolie is in talks to replace Charlize Theron in the thriller The Tourist. [JustJared]
• Prince Harry and Chelsy Davy: So on. [People]
• Nick Cannon is married to Mariah Carey. He's also a stand-up comic, a rapper, an actor, a D.J., a screenwriter and a television host and the chairman Nickelodeon's TeenNick division. [NY Times]
• At the BET Hip-Hop awards on Saturday, T.I. won, though he is in prison; Jay-Z was honored as MVP of the year; the late DJ AM won "DJ of the Year." Kanye West did not attend. The show airs October 27. [AP]
• Unsolicited uterus update: Kourtney Kardashian is expecting a baby boy. [NY Daily News]
• Mad Men's John Slattery doesn't want a garbage trucks garage in his New York neighborhood. [AP]
• "Fergie is Condoleezza Rice - if Condi knew how to execute a booty shake…" claims this profile of the singer, in which she talks about ecstasy; crystal meth ("it ruins you"); dating Mexican gang members and being a child star. The reporter also writes: "There is some speculation that Fergie is older than she lets on (seems unlikely; she grew up on TV), as her unquestionably sexy features can look a touch - how can I put this? - ravaged." [Times Of London]
• Kelly Bensimon was doing man-on-the-street interviews for Gotham magazine yesterday… and her efforts were taped for Real Housewives. [NY Post]
• Debi Mazar helped Maksim Chmerkovskiy get over ex-fiancée Karina Smirnoff with home cooked meals. Heartache doesn't mean stomachache. [People]
• Remember when Michael Jackson played a character on The Simpsons? The folks of The Simpsons were freaked out by him. [NY Post]
• Speaking of Michael Jackson, a snippet of his song "This Is It" has hit the interwebs; listen at the link. [TMZ]
• By the by the illuminated white glove Michael Jackson wore on his 1984 Victory tour sold for almost $70, 000 at auction. [The Sun]
• Katherine Jackson will not inherit 40% of her son's estate. [Carey Hart are HOT in this photo shoot for his tattoo shop's clothing line. [Daily Mail]
• Amy Winehouse "looked frail and unsteady" singing backup for her goddaughter on the TV show Strictly Come Dancing. [Mirror]
• Couples Retreat raked in $35 million at the box office; this column suggests the film "offers a lesson in moviegoing: add one beautiful location to a comedy that is not very funny, add to it actors who aren't really very famous, and you can make a movie that opens to reviews that aren't very good, yet still make cash hand over fist." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Saturday Night Live's Bill Hader has a new baby and says of fatherhood: "I think it's going to be awesome." [Celebrity Baby Scoop]
• In a poll of 100 New Yorkers, 26 women and 27 men think David Letterman is a "hypocrite for making jokes about the affairs of Bill Clinton and other politicians." 22 women and 31 men have worked at a place where the boss was having an affair with an underling. [NY Mag]
• Singer Stephen Gately, of Irish group Boyzone died Saturday while vacationing on the Spanish island of Majorca. [CNN]
• Stephen Gately may have chocked on his own vomit after a "drinking session." [Daily Mail]
• "Matt Lucas will not return to his stage role following the death of his ex-partner, it has been announced." [The Star]
• Mickey Rourke talks about using the word "faggot." Sorta. [TMZ]
• Dannii Minogue was judging X Factor when this guy Danyl Johnson sang "And I'm Telling You" from Dreamgirls. Danni insinuated that he was gay by telling him he didn't need to change the gender references in the song. Simon Cowell was pissed about that. [Daily Mail]
• Arnold Schwarzenegger is on Twitter now, posting pictures of the happy face in his morning oatmeal and so on. [NY Post]
• Sigourney Weaver is trying to promote a Gorilla Rehabilitation and Conservation Education, (GRACE) in the Congo, which will rescue and rehabilitate orphaned gorillas, saying: "These little gorillas just steal your heart. They're very sensitive creatures. So it's no surprise that this is a very demanding and ambitious project, the GRACE Center, but we need it. We have to have it." [AP]
• "Pierce Brosnan almost turned down the chance to star in his upcoming flick, The Greatest, about two parents struggling to move on after their son dies in a car accident — because his own son Sean survived a similar crash in 2000. "When I first got the script, I looked it over and put it under my bed for a week," he says. "I eventually decided to do it because I liked it, but it was hard to go to those deeper places in my heart." [Gatecrasher]
• Director Mike Nichols has been selected to receive the American Film Institute's 38th AFI Life Achievement Award. Nichols won an Oscar for directing The Graduate; was nominated for a best picture award as a producer for The Remains of the Day and his credits include Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, Catch-22, Carnal Knowledge, Silkwood, Working Girl, Primary Colors, Angels in America, Closer and Charlie Wilson's War. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Horn Lake, Mississippi's Circle G Ranch — also known as the Elvis Ranch, is up for sale, if you have $6.5 million. [UPI]
• High-brow PBS soap opera Upstairs Downstairs is being remade. [NY Post]
• Blind item! "What Oscar-winning actress and her Oscar-winning husband are said to be close to splitting? She's telling friends, 'We've grown apart.'" [Rush & Molloy]
• "I get why chicks dig him. He's extremely kind, incredibly intelligent, thoughtful, creative and respectful. I don't discuss my love life because it's always misinterpreted or put under the microscope. It's especially annoying when you're dating someone else who's well-known, which is why I normally would never go out with a famous guy. Let's put it this way… I'd be flattered if someone hit on me tonight, but I really can't say if I'm available or not." — Emmy Rossum on Adam Duritz. She also says: "I used to be an artsy, quiet, kind of chubby kid — which no one believes. But now I'm really comfortable with my body and my sexuality. I can be naked with the lights on." [People]00
• "My hair has never been that great. I had a Jheri curl at one point in my life. I had to go to rehab and confess, 'I'm Chris, I have a curl.' But, I don't think men are into their hair that much. Guys are concentrating on other things. When I was younger, I had a complex, and probably still do, about just not being buff and big. I think that's what guys are into. There are some right here in Hollywood, men on television right now, with fake pecs and stuff." — Chris Rock made Good Hair, but he doesn't think about his own that much. [Parade]
• "I think if she were playing something that was going to be really hard for her psychologically or damaging, I'd be more concerned, but she had a really good time with the sex thing, She plays a woman who, as far as I can tell, is really in charge of her life and is not a victim. So it sounded to me like it would be a blast. I've already seen little bits and pieces of some of the nudity and she looks beautiful. If you have it, why not?" — Susan Sarandon, on her daughter playing a student by day and a stripper by night in Californication. [Gatecrasher]
• "I've been corresponding with Anya Camilleri [the director] and we've been looking at historical paintings where the concept 'cougar' was depicted to try and see where it came from. I think 'cougar' is a way to make it appear as women are looking at their men as prey, and gaining something from it. Like when men are enhancing their own virility by going out with younger women. Why is there not a term for older men with younger women? I don't think Mrs. Robinson was a cougar — I think she was a woman having a breakdown, and it was played wonderfully." — Sharon Stone, who will play a woman who hires a much-younger gigolo in upcoming flick Satisfaction. [Gatecrasher]
• "I had dairy a few weeks ago by accident and I knew because the next day I was all phlegmy. And I was farting and it was gross. And then I knew. It was dairy. Plus it makes you fat. Instantly. [There] was a time in my life where I was not interested in health at all; health was a dirty word. And when I look at pictures now, I see that I looked tired and puffy and stressed." — Alicia Silverstone, whom this paper calls "the most non-annoying vegan on the planet." [NY Post]
• "I guess everyone has their wild side, and mine was halfway between being really shy and kind of a goofy spazoid. I never bit anyone, like Max, but I slapped a lot of butts. I don't know if you've seen kids do that-butt-slapping. Like, slapping the butts of my grandparents and babysitters. When I wasn't shy, I overcompensated." — Karen O of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, who did the soundtrack for Where the Wild Things Are. [NY Mag]
• "In an interview, Lars said he thought he reminded me of my father… and now, of course, I could make that link. He's very sincere with his questions and fears. He's a real artist in that way. He never censors himself... It was a weird relationship. The moments when it was just the two of us were pretty awkward… [Still] I had the feeling that he was inside me. He understood every blink, every detail. I felt as if I were portraying him, even though we were dealing with female sexuality. The anxiety and fear in my character was pretty much him." — Charlotte Gainsbourg, on Antichrist director Lars von Trier, whom this article notes has been called "Misanthrope. Misogynist. Pornographer. Xenophobe. Enfant terrible. Child." [BlackBook]
• "President Obama seems very authentic… I wonder if there's a white man inside of him." — Lars von Trier. [BlackBook]

Man, does anyone do pure glam like Iman? (That's not rhetorical. The answer is no.)


Although Susan Fales-Hill is not half-stepping either, as a lame, sleazy dude said to me once after complimenting my friend.


What is it that renders Emmy's bodice detailing somewhat...mature?


Oh, and you have to see the side-view, when she goes totally ethereal Aphrodite. Somewhat ridiculous, but when you've done that "Music of the Night" Victoria's Secret scene at such a tender age, your threshold is probably permanently altered. (And what does Duritz make of it, btw?)


I am on record in my affection for the public persona of JoAnna Garcia (since, you know, I don't actually know her.) And while I'm still getting used to platform-and-gown-not-in-a-drag-show, she's working it.


I once saw this quote where Rufus Wainwright said "I have a body that looks really good in clothes," which, while it was one of the most ludicrous things I'd seen prior to seeing Jorn Weisbrodt's cravat, is also indubitably true.


Presented without comment.


Y'know, Natalie and Mila would look impeccably cute all alone - the coordinating perfection just takes it over the top. And did they plan this? Because there are literally no photographs where they're not huddling together like this.


Aww, I hate it when "guests" are not identified, especially when they sport such riveting jewelry!


Remember that IMAX film Blue Planet? Yeah, so does Veronica Webb. Ah, those halcyon, post-March-of-the-Penguins years when we thought people would line up forever to watch nature films...


See, what is the fur adding to this beyond a recoil factor? Not warmth, surely - her arms are still bare! I don't understand, unnamed guest!


Yeah, you know what I think of when I hear "American Ballet Theatre Gala?" Adam Duritz. Rage on. Guy's only doing it for some doll, some doll.

[Images via Getty]

• Miley Cyrus will indeed be in Sex And The City 2:

The teen queen will have a scene with Kim Cattrall: Samantha Jones wants to look "hot and young" and winds up on the red carpet with Miley — wearing the same dress. Hilarious? [NY Daily News]

• Rumors that Johnny Depp will be replaced in the next Pirates of The Caribbean movie: "Completely unfounded," says a Disney spokesperson. [Mirror]
• Just yesterday, Jon Gosselin's girlfriend Hailey Glassman was on the Gosselin family website. Today? She's been deleted. [RadarOnline]
• Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom's wedding: A circus. A guest says: There were so many helicopters overhead, you couldn't hear the vows." Ok! magazine made a $250,000 deal for "exclusive" wedding pix, so when paparazzi pictures of the bride popped up on Sunday, the mag had to spend $50,000 on the shots to keep them off the market. As you may know, E! paid for the wedding, after insisting that it be held immediately so it could be on the season premiere of Keeping Up With The Kardashians. [Page Six]
• Ryan Seacrest is thinking about doing a reality show focusing on Khloe and Lamar as newlyweds. It worked out so well for Nick and Jessica! [NY Daily News]
• In other Kardashian news, Kim Kardashian is back together with Reggie Bush. Professional athletes for everyone! [NY Daily News]
• A second suspect in the Lindsay Lohan burglary has turned herself in. [NY Daily News]
• Should Kanye West go to rehab as an apology for his MTV VMA incident? Columnist Courtney Hazlett says "no, no, no." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Speaking of rehab: Amy Winehouse met a "faith healer" named Peter Hippolyte when she was in St. Lucia, and she's planning on flying him to England to help her stay off drugs and booze. Hippolyte says: "We will say prayers together and she will drink bush tea with antioxidants." [Daily Mail]
• Video: Amy Winehouse rapping. Sorta. [The Sun]
• "The timing of Roman Polanski's arrest in Switzerland on Sunday on a 31-year-old rape conviction couldn't have been better for Brett Ratner." Hours before Polanski was arrested, Ratner announced he'll be producing a sequel to Marina Zenovich's 2008 documentary, Roman Polanski: Wanted and Desired. [Page Six]
• Mariah Carey says Precious director Lee Daniels helped her shed some insecurities — he made her arrive to the set without any makeup, and forced her to leave the diva act at home. "That was such a freeing experience for me… By making me look so bad he brought out the ability to never be self-conscious again, and that was a gift that he gave me." On the rumors that Mariah and Nick Cannon are trying to get pregnant, she says: "Well, we enjoy practicing." [AP]
• Jon Hamm and Elisabeth Moss are on the October cover of LA Confidential, and inside Jon says: "The [show] is not meant to be on while you're doing dishes, it's meant to be enjoyed and savored and focused on, and it rewards that attention…" [JustJared]
• At Teen Vogue's 7th annual Young Hollywood party, Kelly Osbourne was overheard telling a friend that she was "shocked" how short the skirts of the young party girls were. [Page Six]
• Randy and Evi Quaid are called "Hollywood's Nightmare Couple" in this extensive piece. Evi allegedly self-medicated with Demerol three times a day, snorting it so it would go right to her brain to cure her migraines. A source says: "She also … believed [Michael] Jackson was murdered along with Heath Ledger, Chris Penn, David Carradine, Natasha Richardson, and other stars who (had been) in movies with Randy." The paranoia that someone was out to get them, and that they weren't safe anywhere, lead to a string of unpaid hotel bills. [The Daily Beast]
• "The enormous sign Evi Quaid made last week — which accused her arresting officer of taking bribes — somehow caught fire this weekend…" [TMZ]
• Emma Watson was "shaken" at the Harvard/Brown football game when security guards had to protect her from gawkers. [Page Six]
• Mel Gibson is asking a judge to remove his 2006 DUI from his record, now that he has completed the terms of his 3-year probation. [TMZ]
• Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of York, has announced that a major US film company has bought the rights to her series of children's books. She says: "The films will run as a series… America has been so good to me. I failed in Britain, and when I gave it a go in America I was ready to fail there, too — but they have really embraced me." [Daily Mail]
• Emmy Rossum, who kept her marriage a secret all year, will be officially divorced in about 180 days. Court documents reveal that she married record label exec Justin Siegel in February, and that he wants Emmy to pay his legal expenses for the divorce and give him spousal support. He's all, "That's all I ask… of youuuuuu." [E!]
• Emmy is currently dating Sideshow Bob Adam Duritz. [People]
• American Idol castoff Adam "Glambert" Lambert's CD is available for pre-order on Amazon, and is currently number 2 — ahead of Madonna and the Beatles. [NY Post]
• Darrell Hammond's name is missing from the opening credits of Saturday Night Live, and a source says: "He's interested in pursuing acting more, but he's loyal to Lorne Michaels, and Lorne will always have a place for him on SNL for as long as Darrell is willing to come back." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Barbra Streisand's new CD is nostalgic, though the recording process was not: "For the first time, she worked with jazz artist Diana Krall as producer, and did it Krall's way. She performed with Krall's quartet of musicians first, then added orchestration later, instead of her usual practice of performing with an orchestra at the outset." [AP]
• Malaysia has banned Bruno because of the gay sex scenes. According to this column, "Gay sex, or 'carnal intercourse against the order of nature,' is punishable by up to 20 years in jail and whipping in Malaysia." Their views on homosexuality suck, but as far as the film goes, they're not missing anything. [Mirror]
• Mary-Louise Parker, 45, is dating musician Charlie Mars, 35. [NY Daily News]
• Jaime Pressley and new hubby Simran Singh got into a huge fight on their wedding night, maybe because Jaime had too much to drink. [Radar Online]
• "The Inside Scoop on Starting in TV" is the story of how Lara Spencer got her start. [WSJ]
• Jon Cryer and his wife, Lisa Joyner, have adopted a baby girl. [People]
• 90210 2.0's AnnaLynne McCord actually wants to be on the cover of Cosmo. [Page Six]
• "A former aide to Danielle Steel is facing time in federal prison after admitting she stole hundreds of thousands of dollars from the romance novelist." [AP]
• Al Sharpton and actress LisaRaye: It's on. [TheYBF]
• Police officials now have the hard drive found with Ryan Jenkins when he was discovered dead in a hotel room back in August. There was no suicide note, so cops are hoping the computer will shed light on the murder of Jasmine Fiore. [TMZ]
• Whatshisname does not have an eating disorder. [The Sun]
• "In terms of the stress there's just no comparison. For me, at least, writing a novel is a great pleasure. There is stress but it's a different kind of stress: more mental than physical. In a film you're working nights and 16-hour days. Here I am saying poor me, when I've been paid pretty well for that work, but it's a fact. It doesn't matter how much you're being paid. At my age I just feel I don't want to do that any longer. So, the writing is really a godsend." — Gene Hackman, who has quit acting for writing, He and Daniel Lenihan have written three works of fiction, and their latest, Escape From Andersonville, is a Civil War adventure. [The Daily Beast]
• "I am enrolling in Berklee College in Boston to get my bachelor's degree in music! That's how important education is to me. I plan to work with Rev. Al Sharpton because that's how important stressing the importance of education to children is to me." — Wyclef Jean. [BV Buzz]
• "I wasn't nervous because I'd got my body and mind into shape for it. My aim is to become an iconic sex symbol and the Playboy shoot is the first step. I wanted to be toned and curvaceous with a nice butt–I didn't want to lose weight and look skinny." — Heidi Montag on her Playboy shoot. She also says: "I'm a C cup but I want to upgrade to a DD cup. I have a curvy butt now and bigger boobs will enhance my shape." [Prz]
• "Seriously, I feel exactly the same now turning 50 as I did when I was 40 or 30. I am enjoying myself. I happen to think that I am just extraordinarily lucky. I am doing something that I am passionate about and that I enjoy doing. There are a couple of charities I am involved with that would appreciate a donation. But please, no presents from anyone." — Simon Cowell turns 50 tomorrow and will throw a big party this weekend. [Telegraph]
• "We're having Gore Vidal on. Larry David is booked. Those two are favorites of mine. And the usual suspects: Ann Coulter. Susie [Essman] will be on. Barbara [Walters] might be on the first week because she's the queen. Alec Baldwin- I can't get him on the phone. I saw him recently at a U.N. function. He's the funniest. He trusts me because I'm not out to get him. I'm not. Last time I interviewed him, his daughter was there and they were really close." — Joy Behar on her new HLN show, which starts tonight at 9pm. [USA Today]
• "She speaks like this weird white-person ebonics. She has this weird language. She doesn't technically read. But it's OK; she doesn't have to." — Kathy Griffin on Paris Hilton. [Page Six]
• "Come on over and see me after you finish." — Ellen Barkin to Matt Damon. [Page Six]
• "With ratings falling, this might be the last season of Jon & Kate Plus 8. I'm not sure yet." — Kate Gosselin, on her Facebook page. [NY Post]

The Good:
I can't really explain my love for Adam Duritz. Or for his insane suit.


Chris March gets points in my book anytime he's not wearing an outfit trimmed in human hair.


1) OMG it's David Byrne! 2) OMG it's Cindy Sherman...in Prada.


In the spirit of John Waters, I love Kathleen Turner's tacky suit.


The Bad:
I so badly want to get my hands on Debbie Harry and give her a head-to-toe makeover. Girlfriend needs to learn about Rodarte. Or Chris Benz, even! Why is she wearing such weirdly dated looks and not seeking out the best of intellectual fashion? End rant.


I want to grow up to be a crazy cat lady just Estelle Parsons.


This is not the right dress for Hairspray star Nikki Blonsky.


Dear Ricki Lake: It's not nice to steal clothes off of drag queen's backs.


Rocco DiSpirito: Looking more and more like Siegfried and Roy's lost brother every day.


The Ugly:
OK, I think John Waters looks awesome. But we all know he would be insulted if he weren't placed in this category.

[Images via Getty.]

• Amy Winehouse arrived at Pentonville prison for a visit with the hubs wearing a puffy heart-shaped pin that read "Blake." Unfortunately, she was turned away, because she was late and visiting hours were over. These tears dry on their own. [The Sun]
  
• Rikki Rockett of Poison was arrested on a rape warrant as he stepped off of a flight from New Zealand at LAX on Monday. Can Bret Michaels stop frenching blow-up dolls long enough to help an old friend out? [TMZ]
  
• Grey's Anatomy hottie Justin Chambers speaks out about his sleep disorder: "It's a biological sleep disorder. Your mind keeps racing, and your body is tired. It wants to go to sleep, but it can't." Hmm, maybe that's why he has 5 kids? [People]
  
• "I'm not sure I can sing 'Holiday' or 'Like A Virgin' ever again. I just can't. Unless somebody paid me like $30 million or something. [Like if] some Russian guy wants me to come to the wedding he's going to have to a 17-year-old." —Madonna. [People]

• Madonna was also heard bitching about traffic congestion charges in London, LOL. [Mirror]
• Oh, and Madonna is on the cover of the new "green" issue of Vanity Fair, looking like she will fucking eat you for breakfast. [The.Life Files]
• Have Kate Moss and Jamie Hince set a date? A source says they'll get married in September. [The Sun]
• Heath Ledger's will has been released. The 2003 document leaves 50% of his assets to his sisters and the rest to his parents. [TMZ]
• Britney Spears is on a health kick and has been having colon cleaning sessions at a Beverly Hills clinic, TMI!!! [Mirror]
• Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale: Hoping Gwen's unborn will be a girl! Harajuku girl, hollaback girl, just a girl, etc. [Mirror]
• Jennifer Aniston and Orlando Bloom: Seen having dinner, oooh. [Page Six]
• Dancing With The Stars Karina Smirnoff: Dating Mario Lopez? Or R&B singer Mario? Or both? [Page Six]
• Hillary and Bill Clinton are in the new Martin Scorsese Rolling Stones movie, rocking out. [Rush & Molloy]
• The Hills resident dude Brody Jenner was kicked out of a Los Angeles club for grabbing a bottle of vodka from behind the bar when he wasn't served fast enough and then squirting lemon in the bartender's eyes. Asshole. [Rush & Molloy]
• Rapper T.I. pleaded guilty to federal weapons possessions charges and will spend one year in prison, sigh. Still like his cheekbones. [TMZ]
• Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt were both in Vegas this week, but stayed in different hotels. You know, it used to feel like, she's an idiot for being with that douche; now it's like, naw, they deserve each other. [People]
• Will Ivana Trump and her 24-years-younger fiancé, Rossano Rubicondi, stop fighting long enough to get married on April 12? He nearly got arrested during a domestic disturbance last week. But OK! magazine has the rights to the wedding pix, so they'd better say I do even if they don't. [Page Six]
• Pete Doherty is into Scientology now? For the love of Xenu. [The Sun]
• Paris Hilton was a judge in the Miss Turkey pageant in Istanbul, and honestly, it hurts to think of her as representing us internationally. But anyway here's video of her bellydancing, sigh. [People]
• Counting Crows singer Adam Duritz has been battling severe depression and mental illness. Not to make light of the situation but a haircut might help. [People]
• Celine Dion has postponed a series of Australian concerts due to a throat infection — but her heart will go on! [Reuters]
• Tom Cruise joining the cast of the upcoming J.J. Abrams Star trek movie? No. [MSNBC]
• But! Tom Cruise is trying to get back in the game: He dined with onetime nemesis Sumner Redstone of Viacom yesterday. [WSJ]
• Is Jessica Simpson secretly married to Tony Romo? Or is her mom just effing with us? [News.com.au]
• Actress Morgan Fairchild is campaigning to raise awareness about the warning signs of a stroke. [UPI]
• There's some weird (Czech?) rumor that Kylie Minogue will announce her engagement to Olivier Martinez at a concert on May 12. [PopDirt]
• Tina Fey! Spilling about what's next on 30 Rock! "Both of Liz's former boyfriends, Dennis the Beeper King [Dean Winters] and Floyd [Jason Sudeikis] will be back briefly. And Liz does have a little bit of a pregnancy scare. She probably hooks up once every seven years, yet when it rains, it pours. We have a storyline coming up where Jack tries to enlist Tracy to be the new black face of the Republican Party." All this and more! [LA Times]