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Do 12-Year-Old Girls Ever Need To Be "Fabulous"?
New York, 8:56 PM
Wed Dec 2
71 posts in the last 24 hours
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Do 12-Year-Old Girls Ever Need To Be "Fabulous"? |
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12/17/08
12/17/08
12/17/08
I also had an extremely second wave feminist step mother who hated all the girly, appearance based things I did. I just made me feel ugly and insecure (way more so than makeup ads)
12/17/08
I think I tie myself up in knots unnecessarily.
12/17/08
Also, they've had books like this for decades. I found an amazing one at a yardsale once called "White Gloves and Party Manners" that was all about how 13 year olds could rag curl their hair, wear little white gloves and appropriately salute the queen. I also have one from the 60's called "A New You" that claims you can make your fingertips thinner by squeezing them!
12/17/08
Thanks for your thoughtful answer. I guess that as long as I honor what matters to her -- even if it doesn't matter to me -- then eventually, we'll be on firm ground. I had a big anti-pink thing for the first four years of her life (though she had many, many girly clothes of many other hues), but the minute she actually said "Why don't I have any pink clothes?" I said, "Do you want some?" and (with the inevitable "yes!!") went out to get a few items. I can't say that I got over myself, because it pains me to see her in them, but I'm doing my best!
12/17/08
12/17/08
There are girls who are being raised with a healthy sense of balance, who will grow up to be well-rounded and well-read. But for the majority, it seems, this garbage is all they're getting, and it's teaching them how to be women.
12/17/08
Five years old? A spa party?
12/17/08
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12/17/08
I agree 100% that the most important thing is to let kids explore their own world, on their own, sometimes. And--as a former English teacher, I can't stress this enough--part of learning to read is learning to evaluate. The best way to do this is to read widely, and see how different books and ideas stack up against each other.
12/17/08
Though I can't promise sewing lessons.
12/17/08
12/17/08
Teh Armageddon, it iz alreddy heer.
12/17/08
Right. Except the ones who aren't. At that age, 'being attractive' was the last thing on my mind. I was too busy riding horses, volunteering at the zoo and animal shelter, reading books and drawing. I still had a lot of guys interested in me in my later teens, but not because I knew how to give myself a mini facial, but because I knew how to be fun and interesting.
Being attractive only started to interest me around 20, at which point I was already married!
Sure there are girly girls who start looking in the mirror by the time they're four, but I bet there's a large number of tomboys who just don't give a crap. Give me that boys' book any day!
12/17/08
They just disappeared!
12/17/08
12/17/08
Which can lead to a different set of problems issues, but ...
12/17/08
Then, problems OR issues. However it manifested in your early tweenhood. Take your pick.
12/17/08
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12/17/08
But really, what do I know. I'm an English major, so it sorta makes sense that I always liked books.
@PilgrimSoul: I want to say we could be self-sufficient, but I really have no life skills. I read professionally. I can cook and bake. That's about it.
12/17/08
She's good at math, absolutely fierce in her personality, the best friend you could hope to have, and is built like a baby Amazon. There is no way that she is going to fit into the stereotypes of beauty that we seem to still demand, and it makes me sick to think that she might suffer the same slings and arrows of self-doubt that I suffer, along with (it would seem) every woman I've ever met.
I think if she wanted this book at 12, I would let her buy it with her own money, tell her why I didn't want to invest in it for her ("I just don't think that this a very worthy subject to spend much time worrying about," or some such), and then make sure she keeps getting innundated with all kinds of other, better information and role models.
I've already got Mr. ellaesther on womens sports watching duties (I love her, but I can't do that), and I actually heard myself say the other day: "You know who else is good at math? Gabriella! [from HSM] Gabriella is very good at math!"
I take my role models where I can find them. And in my defense, I did also mention my grandmother (who I wrote about earlier) who, in addition to being a flapper, was a math teacher.
Sigh.
12/17/08
lolz us girls are so glamorous but can't spell.
Danica McKellar, Sally Jeffrie: gurl pwr, ur doin it rong.
12/17/08
12/17/08
Scholastic, FAIL re: tomboys.
12/17/08
putting on copious amounts eyeliner,I taught myself.
12/17/08
Y'know?