This was the youth minister's main example:

"He observed that the only self-identified Christian is the shiny blond Quinn, cheerleading president of the celibacy club, who is pregnant by one classmate but pretending the father is another. (To make matters more complicated, in a heartbreaking scene, she begs her parents' forgiveness; in righteous fury, they throw her out of the house.)"

Um, that's not anti-Christian? That youth minister should look around: that plotline, from the celibacy club hypocrisy to the parent's reaction is practically documentary.

The Gospel of Glee [Time]

Today is National Comprehensive Sex Education Call-In Day, an effort to inform Congress that we won't stand for $50 million' worth of abstinence-only funding being tucked into the all-important healthcare reform bill. Feministing has a list of talking points for a 5-minute call to your senator, but Newsweek has a more in-depth look at why we should be resisting any move to pour another pile of money into abstinence-only education, especially when it's been cynically tacked on to such an important bill.

The most obvious reason: They don't work. During the '90s and early '00s, government cash flowed freely into programs that told kids not having sex means nothing bad will happen, and having sex means trouble, end of story. "But as funding grew, so did a body of research showing that abstinence didn't change the sexual behaviors of students; pregnancy and STD rates did not go down, the age of initial sexual activity did not go up." Comprehensive programs that included education about contraception actually fared better in terms of reducing "frequency of sex or number of sexual partners," not just unwanted consequences of sex.

But just as importantly, "Two major reviews of abstinence curriculums-one in 2004 from the House of Representatives' Committee on Government Reform, another by the Texas Freedom Network Education Fund earlier this year-found unsourced and incorrect information about STDs, contraceptives, and the consequences of sexual activity." For example, one curriculum taught that condom use has "little to no benefit" and another declared, "a young person who becomes sexually active at or before age 14 will contract an STD before graduating from high school. This is no longer the exception, but the rule." Who needs nitpicky shit like science and data when you can get federal funding for lying through your teeth?

Additionally, several of the programs raised separation of church and state issues; "the American Civil Liberties Union mounted a number of lawsuits (some successful, some not) against abstinence-only curriculums in public schools and state-sponsored events that advanced a specific religious perspective." And ultimately, it's that religious perspective that keeps so many people in the business of abstinence-only education, despite all of the evidence that it doesn't work. Leslee Unruh, director of the Abstinence Clearinghouse — which "exists to bring families closer to each other and to our Creator" and bases its work "on a set of foundational Christian beliefs" — told Newsweek, "If the funding is for a different worldview, one that says you should give condoms to kids, that's not my belief system. I think it's very harmful." Scott Phelps, who directs A&M Partnership — which produces the Excel Christian Bible Study on Purity, among other things — says, "Our program indicates that sex is more than physical. It's emotional. There's a lot of different aspects. If I'm teaching all of that, and then I'm teaching contraception, what is contraception going to do for all those consequences? It would be sort of nonsensical."

Since Obama cut off abstinence-only funding in May, folks like Unruh and Phelps are now forced to raise private funds to support ineffective programs that advance a religious agenda — oh, the humanity! But other abstinence-only educators are accepting reality. Over the summer, the North Carolina State Legislature approved a compromise, which happens to reflect what studies show works best: Telling kids that abstinence is the most reliable method of pregnancy and STD prevention, but contraceptives are an option they should be fully informed about. Both Planned Parenthood and the NC Christian Action League are cool with it — now, how hard was that? The effectiveness of such a compromise only underscores how fringey and fundamentally unreasonable it is to insist that offering kids accurate information about contraceptives is somehow "harmful" — and how utterly nauseating it is that so much federal money has already gone into promoting that message.

Of course, there are still those fighting to restore federal funding for abstinence-only education, and there's no way of knowing if they'll ultimately be successful. But one thing is for sure: Trying to sneak that shit into the healthcare reform bill is unconscionable. Call your senators and tell them so.

The Future Of Abstinence [Newsweek]
Reminder: National Comprehensive Sex Education Call-In Day Is Today! [Feministing]

"The teenagers who espouse this new morality are tolerant of premarital sex (and of contraception and abortion) but are themselves cautious about pursuing it," Talbot says. They have high hopes for their futures in terms of education and careers, and so, "simply put, too much seems at stake. Sexual intercourse is not worth the risks." The most interesting detail from this article concerns virginity pledges, like the one so proudly and publicly undertaken by non-slut Jordin Sparks. Talbot explains, "If too many teens pledge, the effort basically collapses. Pledgers apparently gather strength form the sense that they are an embattled minority; once their number exceed thirty percent, and proclaimed chastity becomes the norm, that special identity is lost. With such a fragile formula, it's hard to imagine how educators can ever get it right: once the self-proclaimed virgin clique hits the thirty-one-percent mark, suddenly it's Sodom and Gomorrah."

Sodom and Gomorrah, indeed: the risks end up being greater when evangelical teens have sex, mostly because many evangelical teens who break their chastity pledges forgo condoms. They believe that purchasing contraception "will send the message that they are looking for sex" and some abstinence education programs teach that condoms do not prevent pregnancies and STDs in the first place.

All of which brings me to Shelby Knox, who figures prominently in Talbot's article. Knox, a sex-education advocate, was the subject of an incredibly well-received documentary that debuted in 2005. Knox grew up in Lubbock, Texas, where evangelical Christianity, STDs, and teen pregnancy all run rampant. Although Knox comes from a Southern Baptist Republican background and does not believe in premarital sex for herself, she spoke strongly against the abstinence-only education that was given in her town. At a congressional hearing, Knox "testified that it's possible to 'believe in abstinence in a religious sense' but still understand that abstinence-only education is dangerous 'for students who simply are not abstaining.'" If only everyone could be so reasonable.

Red Sex, Blue Sex [New Yorker]

Seriously, given that you got attacked from the left for appearing a little squishy on abortion during your time in the Illinois legislature and you've still got Hillary supporters to court, it probably wasn't the most prescient time to say this:

I have repeatedly said that I think it’s entirely appropriate for states to restrict or even prohibit late-term abortions as long as there is a strict, well-defined exception for the health of the mother. Now, I don’t think that "mental distress" qualifies as the health of the mother. I think it has to be a serious physical issue that arises in pregnancy, where there are real, significant problems to the mother carrying that child to term. Otherwise, as long as there is such a medical exception in place, I think we can prohibit late-term abortions.

Baby, that ain't what we need to hear. I miss the days when you used to whisper sweet nothings in my direction, things about that timely Iraq withdrawal and supporting a woman's right to choose. I'll admit my heart beat faster hearing you yell "Yes we can," and "We are the change that we have been waiting for." But, Barry, baby, "as long as there is such a medical exception in place, I think we can prohibit late-term abortions" is a total lady-bonerkiller.

And, honey, you totally put the kibosh on my mood with this little nugget:

I think we know that abortions rise when unwanted pregnancies rise. So, if we are continuing what has been a promising trend in the reduction of teen pregnancies, through education and abstinence education giving good information to teenagers. That is important—emphasizing the sacredness of sexual behavior to our children. I think that’s something that we can encourage. I think encouraging adoptions in a significant way. I think the proper role of government. So there are ways that we can make a difference, and those are going to be things I focus on when I am president.

Barry, ignorance is not sexy. Abstinence education? Oh, Barry, we all know that's not effective even though the fundies love hearing about it. Whose love do you want? Ours or theirs?

Look, I'm not trying to be clingy here. I know that everyone needs friends in their life, and I'm all about you making new friends. Don't think this is about that. I'm trying really hard not to be worried about your fidelity or to how you'll live up to the promises you made, but you're not making it easy. You can't just whisper "January 2009" in my ear anymore and send tingles up my spine. You have to say things like "universal health coverage" and "your body, your choice" and "comprehensive sex education" and "complete withdrawal from Iraq" and you have to mean it if you want to get my juices flowing again. Just try it, you'll remember how damn good it feels, and so will I.

— Me

Obama: Most Liberal Senator In 2007 [National Journal]
A Q&A With Barack Obama [Relevant]
Obama Supports FISA Legislation, Angering Left [Washington Post]
Bush's Faith-Based Programs Will Remain [San Francisco Chronicle]
Obama May Consider Slowing Iraq Withdrawal [Washington Post]
Abstinence-Only Education Ineffective In Preventing, Delaying Sex Among Teens, Study Says [Medical News Today]

Los Angeles Times:

The tone of the pilot careens between an after-school special and "American Pie," with a bit of "Pretty in Pink" grabbed along the way. It is almost all about sex — and a little bit about family, but the subject there is largely sex, as well, and why it's not for the young. The sexually active kids we meet are either made unhappy by having it, or they're having it because they're unhappy. (Ricky's compulsion to sleep with every girl who crosses his path is shown to spring from his having been molested by his father.) Amy confides of her deflowering: "I'm not even sure it was sex. It wasn't fun and definitely not like what you see in the movies."

Or they're unhappy because they've never had it. In a most improbable conversation (in a show full of them, nerdy wiseacre Ben (Kenny Baumann) — who has decided almost arbitrarily to pursue Amy by getting himself into the marching band — tells his guidance counselor: "To be perfectly honest, Mark, it's all motivated by the fact that I'm 15, I'm a virgin, and if I want to have a sex life I've got to start somewhere."

Variety:

ABC Family's latest original drama wants to be a slow-motion version of "Juno" but settles for being an obvious, stereotype-laden teen soap, albeit more "North Hollywood, 91607" than the story of what happens in flashier, better-known SoCal zip codes. Series creator Brenda Hampton made family drama with religious underpinnings a long-running success on "7th Heaven," but teen pregnancy — especially on a youth-oriented network — is too important a subject for such shallow, ham-fisted treatment. The topic may find a receptive audience, but based on first impressions, "The Secret Life of the American Teenager" should probably stay a secret.

The New York Times:

For a generation of young viewers raised on “The Simpsons,” “South Park” and “Degrassi Junior High” (not to mention reruns of “Sex and the City”) this kind of earnest, sound-out-all-the-syllables agitprop is almost comical, a parody of an after-school special. The occasional lapses into portentous symbolism are inadvertently hilarious. While Amy sneaks into the bathroom to take a home pregnancy test, her mother, played by Molly Ringwald, reheats Amy’s supper in the microwave. At the exact moment that the oven timer rings and reads “End,” Amy stares at the test results that will end life as she knows it.

That part is kind of fun. “Secret Life,” however, actually tries at times to be funny, and that makes it painful to watch. The peripheral presence of Ms. Ringwald, once the teenage heroine of John Hughes classics like “The Breakfast Club” and “Sixteen Candles,” is almost taunting, a reminder that these teenage morality plays have been made many times before, much better.

The Hollywood Reporter:

Eschewing subtlety for overt exposition at every turn, “Secret Life” fairly screams, “This is a middle-age adult’s fear-mongering perception of high school life circa 2008.” And just in case we weren’t feeling quite old enough, it co-stars Molly Ringwald as the mother of our teenage protagonist. (Add your own “Oh, the humanity!” moan here.) An awkward cross between “7th Heaven” and “Grey’s Anatomy,” it stars Shailene Woodley as Amy, your basic band geek who naturally becomes pregnant after her very first sexual experience — this with the school stud, Ricky (Daren Kagasoff). The screw-’em-and-leave-’em Ricky also carries his own dirty secret, because this is the age of abuse and dysfunction and everyone is driven by internal demons too numerous to even imagine.

New York Daily News:

he Ben character is a smart move. But the real question is whether the writers can make Amy's story compelling or whether they will retreat into all those other soapy dramas.

For what it's worth, about half the teen actions and exchanges in the first episode ring true. So this could go either way.

On the bright side, the show treats the religious teen with respect, not giggles, and a Down syndrome child has an honest and sympathetic role as part of a family. It almost deserves an extra star just for having Ben refer to Blind Lemon Jefferson, a blues legend from the 1920s.

Syracuse.com:

Although the dialogue in the pilot episode was somewhat stilted, possibly owing to the need to hit all of the important issues in the choices teens face in being sexually-active or not, the episode did an excellent job in establishing characters and their familial relationships. Although some older teens might find the show preachy, "The Secret Life..." seems strongly suited to help spark dialogue between junior/senior high school students and their parents.

'The Secret Life of the American Teenager' premieres tonight on ABC Family at 8 p.m.

Earlier: Writer Blames Second-Wave Feminists For Failing To Prevent Teen Pregnancy