• Remember Caroline Cartwright, she of the loud-sex lawsuit fame? She's back in the news for breaking her "anti-social behavior order" by having really, really loud sex with her husband (again). Breaking the Asbo could carry a sentence of vie years imprisonment, but it is unlikely that Cartwright will face jail time. • Six of the books shortlisted for the International Prize for Arabic Fiction feature female characters and center their struggle to escape their pasts, according to Reuters. The award comes with a $50,000 prize and often leads to publishing deals in other languages. • A Texas couple are facing charges after police found the remains of an aborted 7-month-old fetus in a box under their Christmas tree. They apparently first tried flushing the fetus, which was aborted at home using pills, down the toilet. They have been charged with abuse of a corpse and tampering with evidence. •  California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger on Sarah Palin: "You have to ask: what was she trying to accomplish? Is she really interested in this subject or is she interested in her career and in winning the [Republican] nomination [for president]? You have to take all these things with a grain of salt." Or, perhaps, an entire tub of Morton. • Am amusing Marist poll confirms what we suspected: Michelle is the more popular Obama. 68% of Americans have a favorable view of the first lady, with only 20% claiming an unfavorable view. 57% think that she is doing well in her position, and 41% believe that she has changed fashion for the better. • 

• Police believe Joshua Woodward, a restaurateur from L.A., gave his 13-weeks pregnant girlfriend an abortion inducing drug without her consent. She claims just hours before she miscarried, Woodward touched her sexually, leaving white powder in her underwear. • Conseulo Carreto Valencia, 61, has been sentenced to 10 years in prison - the maximum sentence - for forcing girls to work as prostitutes. In this rather tasteless article, the NY Daily News refers to her as a "mini-madam," due to her short stature. •  A Danish political party has fessed up to pasting yellow penis stickers all over the posters for opposing parties. "We admit we did it," said party Vice President Niels Andreasen. But it seems like their hilarious efforts paid off: "At first we figured we'd get around 200 votes. But now we've had 10,000 visitors to our Web site and we have 500 new Facebook friends." • Two cities in California have voted to outlaw the declawing of cats. Beverly Hills City Council and the Los Angeles City Council joined Santa Monica and San Francisco in the recent ban. •  A 20-year-old Somali woman was stoned to death for adultery in front of a crowd of 200 on Tuesday afternoon. She had recently been divorced, and was reportedly dating a 29-year-old man. He received 100 lashes for his part in the affair. • A research team from the UK found that almost 50% of women have a genetic variation which reduces their ability to produce vitamin A from beta-carotene. This may mean that up to half the women in England could be at risk for vitamin A deficiency. • Doctors believe that they may be able to use eggs donated by younger women to increase the chances of conception among older women. A team from Japan removed the nuclei from eggs of women undergoing IVF and injected them into eggs donated by women under 35. • The city of Sacramento, California has presented 18-year-old Margarita Vargas with an official proclamation, calling her decision to call the police after hearing about the brutal gang rape of a teen girl "a bold act of humanity." • Olivia Thomas, the oldest person in the U.S., died this week at the age of 114. Thomas was believed to be the third oldest person in the world at the time of her death. •  A police officer in Arkansas recently tasered a 10-year-old girl when she refused to get into his police car. The report says the stun was "very, very brief" and only used to bring the girl to a youth shelter. • It seems Brian Adams, the photographer who shot the picture of Sarah Palin in shorts for Runner's World violated his contract by reselling the photo to Newsweek. A spokeswoman for Runner's World said the picture was supposed to be under embargo until August 2010, and "Runner's World did not provide Newsweek with its cover image... It was provided to Newsweek by the photographer's stock agency, without Runner's World's knowledge or permission." A Newsweek spokesman responded, "We purchased the photo from an agency and were not aware of any issues with it." • Police say they're not filing any more charges in the murder of 5-year-old Shaniya Davis until it's decided which North Carolina county will handle the case. Her mother, Antoinette Davis, and Mario McNeill have already been arrested and charged with kidnapping and child abuse involving prostitution. • Katherine Sebelius addressed the confusion over new breast cancer screening recommendations saying, "The U.S. Preventive Task Force is an outside independent panel of doctors and scientists who make recommendations... They do not set federal policy, and they don't determine what services are covered by the federal government... The Task Force has presented some new evidence for consideration but our policies remain unchanged. Indeed, I would be very surprised if any private insurance company changed its mammography coverage decisions as a result of this action." • A 13-year-old boy in Alabama was arrested after he asked an undercover officer posing as a prostitute for sex. The officer says she tried to run him off more than once, but he insisted, so she had to arrest him. He was charged with a misdemeanor count of loitering while looking for a prostitute. • In its 2009 state of the world population report, the United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA) says the world's poor are the most vulnerable to the effects of climate change, and most of the 1.5 billion people living on less than $1 a day are women. "Poor women in poor countries are among the hardest hit by climate change, even though they contributed the least to it," said UNFPA executive director Thoraya Ahmed Obaid. • Last month the U.K.'s Law Commission proposed that unmarried couples who live together for two years should be able to claim half of their partner's estate if they die without a will. Baroness Deech, chairman of the Bar Standards Board says, "Cohabitation law retards the emancipation of women, degrades the relationship, takes away choice, is too expensive and would extend an already unsatisfactory maintenance law for married couples to another large category," adding, "Women do not need and ought not to require to be kept by men after their relationship has come to an end." • British hedge fund manager Mark Lowe is being sued for sexual discrimination by female executive Jordan Wimmer because he repeatedly forwarded the office sexist emails. She confronted him when he sent around a dumb blonde joke. He said in court: "I didn't for a moment suppose anyone would take exception to a feeble joke of this sort. It was not directed against [Ms Wimmer]. The thought never occurred to me that she'd be offended." •

•  According to an independent group in Britain, the number of abortions performed on fetuses with Down syndrome has been greatly underrepresented. They claim that doctors, in attempts to protect their patients from further pain, have been classifying abortions performed on fetuses with Down as "social abortions." • Excerpts of Anne Frank's diary were censored out of a school textbook in Lebanon after Hezbollah's Al-Manar television channel ran a report claiming the book promotes Zionism. MP Hussein Hajj Hassan said, "These respected, established schools are teaching the so-called tragedy this girl lived, and yet they are ashamed to teach the tragedy of the Lebanese people, the tragedy of the Palestinian people... the tragedy of the people of the south under the hands of Zionist occupation." • A new study has found that there is a significant gender-based pay gap among US faculty. "Our findings show that women who wish to challenge pay gaps at their own institution need to systematically and quantitatively approach the situation, especially during a time of economic downturn," said the author of the study. •  David Swain has been sentenced to 25 years in prison for the murder of his wife in 1999. Swain was scuba diving in the Caribbean with his wife Shelley Tyre when something went wrong and Tyre was killed. Although local authorities found no evidence of wrongdoing, a British Virgin Islands judge has ruled differently. • Female cancer or multiple sclerosis patients are six times more likely than male patients to be separated or divorced soon after their diagnosis. Researchers said men may leave a sick spouse because they're more hesitant than women to commit to being a caretaker. • Six years ago, Stephen Weston heard about a woman who had been prosecuted for not wearing her seat belt correctly while pregnant. For many women, the cross-body belt is uncomfortable, so Weston decided to solve the problem by developing an alternative belt for expecting mothers. The shoulder harness seat belt will hit the market in 2010. • The New York Times reports on the rising number of female officers in the Iraqi police force. While women were long discouraged from higher positions, many have come to realize that there are certain benefits to having female officers. "Everyone says men are able to do everything, but that's not true," said Lieutenant Farah Hameed. "In investigations, especially with women, women use their compassion with victims to get them to answer questions clearly." •  A recent study shows that yo-yo dieting may be more like drug addiction than previously believed. Researchers put a group of rats on "diet-cycles," and they found that after going without food, the rats suffered anxiety, and the deprivation effected the same stress symptom that kicks in during drug withdrawal. • Women are getting involved in Mexican drug trafficking in greater numbers and many are being jailed or killed. More women are becoming addicts, turning to dealing as a better alternative to prostitution, or being forced to smuggle drugs through military checkpoints by male family members. •  Prosecutors have offered former astronaut Lisa Nowak a plea deal. Nowak is accused of stalking and assaulting Air Force Capt. Colleen Shipman, who was dating Nowak's ex-boyfriend. •  Wanna be happy for the rest of your life? Move West, young woman. Apparently, people are happiest in the Mountain states and on the West Coast, due mainly to the high concentration of wealth, education, and tolerance. • While experts believe that postpartum depression is still severely under-reported, there are several new programs that offer support and aid to women suffering from PPD. UNC has a particularly good program, which features a small postpartum inpatient unit. • In the next 10 years women are expected to become the majority of unionized workers, according to a report from the Center for Economic and Policy Research. "When you have a majority of women in the labor movement, issues like work-family balance, paid sick days and paid parental leave become more important," said economist John Schmitt. • "Weight-watchers everywhere can breathe a sigh of relief. Contrary to their image as slim models of restraint, French women, it seems, really do get fat," begins this article, on rising obesity rates in France. It's a good thing Mireille Guilano has a new shtick. • Some are calling for the website celebrityaddressaerial.com to be shut down after it was revealed that the people who allegedly robbed Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and Orlando Bloom, used the site to gather information on their targets. The site, which lists the addresses and aerial photos of hundreds of celebrity homes, contains information that could be found on sites like TMZ and Google Maps in a more easily searchable format. • A new fiction genre described as "Beatrix Potter meets the Kray Brothers" or "Pulp Fiction meets Wind in the Willows" involves animals, or even dinosaurs, in gritty detective stories. • In an interview with a British journalist who says she dreamed of being a Playboy Bunny as a child, Hugh Hefner says, "My younger brother and I were raised in a home in Chicago with no real affection; we knew we were loved, but there was no display of affection. I think that my quest for romantic love and the adventure of romantic love was filling the space that was left because I didn't get the affection when I was young." • In this security video a woman on a Boston subway platform who appears drunk falls onto the tracks. People wave at an oncoming train to stop, the driver breaks, and the car comes to a stop inches away from killing her. •

You see, in Palin's eyes, anyone who supports a woman's right to choose apparently might have "the mind-set" that allows them to pull the plug on Grandma or force women to terminate pregnancies if the baby is not, in Palin's words "normal or perfect." It is, of course, another attempt on Palin's behalf to scare the shit out of people with her "death panel" nonsense, and her attempt to step it up a notch by tying in her stance on abortion rights (or, rather, lack thereof) just makes things more repulsive. "In order to save government money, government health care has to be rationed," Palin told the crowd, "[so] than this elderly person that perhaps could be seen as costing taxpayers to pay for a non-productive life? Do you think our elderly will be first in line for limited health care?"

Palin also took the time to drop this laughable statement: "It is so bogus that society is sending a message right now and has been for probably the last 40 years that a woman isn't strong enough or smart enough to be able to pursue an education, a career and her rights and still let her baby live." You know what else is bogus? That Sarah Palin continues to position herself as a savior of women's rights when her entire platform essentially rests on taking them away.

Palin Rallies Thousands Of Abortion Supporters [Politico]

Try Googling any of these symptoms, and you'll find a bunch of websites that begin with something like "Congratulations. You are on a journey of a lifetime…" or "Some symptoms of early pregnancy can be unpleasant, almost to the point of dampening the joy of your good news…" And good luck trying to find any advice on how to deal with some of the more annoying and uncomfortable symptoms, that actually interfere with your day-to-day life, that don't involve vitamins, saltines, water, and "lots of rest." All of the information of alleviation puts the well being of the fetus first and the mother second.

But what about the women who have no intentions of seeing a pregnancy to term? What about the women who could barely find time in their calendars to schedule their abortions, who have to face grueling workdays until their appointments under conditions that would prompt any man to take a sick day? There is very little information out there for the many women in this predicament, because frankly, nobody cares about them. Despite their individual situations, they're collectively seen as irresponsible, selfish, and undeserving of the kind of help that would make their lives a little easier for the days or weeks they have to wait to terminate the pregnancy. Some women might even feel a little guilty or ashamed to seek such relief. Abortion is an option, not an obligation to quietly suffer.

As far as sucky symptoms of unwanted pregnancies go, what's the harm in throwing the bathwater out with the baby? Here is a guide to treating them, that no doctor would probably ever recommend.*

Cramping
Cause: This is most likely happening because of implantation, when the egg is attaching itself to the uterus, or because the uterus is preparing itself for the long haul by growing. It feels like bad menstrual cramps.
Cure: Take a Midol. All it really is is ibuprofen and some caffeine anyway. The instructions merely say to consult a doctor before taking, if you are pregnant, but it won't cause a miscarriage. If it did, then abortion pill manufacturers would be out of business and back alley abortionists would've hung up their wire hangers long ago. If you have anything harder like Vicodin around the house, pop some of those. But then, who are you? Nicole Richie? Cramps suck and all, but over-the-counter stuff should do the trick. But then, who are we to deny you a good time with your dolls? If you're not that into pharmies, weed also helps, too.

Fatigue
Cause: Changing hormone levels and low blood sugar.
Cure: If you're lucky, Adderall. If you're not, then drink some coffee. Lots of it. Make like you're Julia Roberts in Steel Magnolias and eat candy or drink juice. And take naps if you can. Now is the time to cut yourself some slack. If you know who the father is, and he's still hanging around, guilt him into doing shit for you, like your dishes or your laundry or your grocery shopping so you can catch a few Zzzs. Because what's he doing in all this, other than footing half the abortion bill (hopefully)? As Homer Simpson says, "It's not uteri, it's uterus."

Nausea
Cause: Back in the dark ages, before there were women doctors, "morning sickness" was thought to be psychological. It's not. People still don't know exactly what causes it, but it most likely has something to do with rapidly rising levels of the hormone human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG). It affects 50% - 90% of pregnant women. And "morning sickness" is a misnomer. It can happen at any given time of the day, and for some unlucky ladies, it's constant. It's the worst of all the symptoms, as it's invasive, inconvenient, and miserable. Doctors will suggest these stupid bracelet things for acupressure, ginger, saltines, and cold compresses.
Cure: What you don't want to do is go anywhere near your spice cabinet, old takeout in your fridge, or rest your head on your BF's shoulder. Your changing hormone levels will give you a heightened sensitivity to aromas, and that will make you wanna ralph. Also, don't try to force a puke. It's not like being drunk, in which puking will make you feel better. You'll just feel like you have to puke more right after, and your throat will hurt. Pregnancy-related nausea operates a lot like motion sickness. So take some Dramamine. Get some food in your stomach. It sucks, but saltines, are indeed, your friend in this situation. Marijuana is also known to eliminate nausea and will help rebuild an appetite. Word to the wise: Don't take a massive bong hit that will make you cough deeply, because then you'll just hurl. Also, make sure that you're head is in the right space, because if you're freaking out about this pregnancy thing, you're totally only going to fan the flames of your anxiety when you light up.

Breast Tenderness
Cause: The increase in hormones causes blood to rush to your breast, causing swelling and soreness. Sometimes they're just sore to the touch, but other times, they even hurt when their just kind of moving around, like if you're getting dressed, or exercising or walking quickly without a bra on.
Cure: You can try different bras, do "breathing exercises," or try temperature treatments with hot or cold compresses, but you should probably just cut the crap and take some kind of pain med, over-the-counter or otherwise.

Mood Swings/Irritability
Cause: Jerkass hormones again, and also, you're going through some shit right now.
Cure: Whatever, ride the highs and then be a bitch when you feel like it. If necessary, avoid people who are remotely annoying. And if you get sad, blow off trivial responsibilities (like going to the gym, or mopping, or running errands) and just do what you feel like doing. Idiots are always basing women's behavior on hormones no matter what, so this is your get-out-of-jail-free card. Kinda like how you don't have to use birth control for the time being. Live it up, because those—along with breast swelling, for some women—are the only "pros" to this pregnancy compared to a much longer list of "cons."

*We are NOT doctors. If you do anything on this list and, then have a change of heart about terminating the pregnancy, don't blame us if the baby has low birth weight or flippers.

The Early Signs Of Pregnancy [Women's Health]

• St. Stanislaus College, a Catholic boarding school in Australia, is being investigated for new claims of abuse in late-night prayer sessions and a teacher's (supposed) recommendation that boys read Penthouse. • Ad Age's Marti Barletta urges marketers and advertisers to create a "new normal" for women that is not ultra-thin in advertising to start cycling out our culture's obsession with thinness. • Are more women accepting of experiencing pain during a natural childbirth than doctors? • Adventures in obvious studies: Working moms are spending 15 hours a day working at a job and taking care of household work and errands. Doesn't that number seem a little low? • Ron Jeremy on being a pin up for Playgirl: "[The magazine] likes to think that their audience is mostly women, but no, no, the majority is gay." • Kids spend a mere 24 minutes doing chores these days because they are spending more of their time studying and participating in youth groups. • After watching a TV show in Saudi Arabia where brothers viewed their sisters as being treated like "princesses" because they aren't allowed to drive, a Saudi blogger sounds off on the restrictions that women face when not allowed to drive.

The YDN also asked a bunch of doctors whether Aliza's little stunt was medically possible. Dr. Edward Funai, associate professor of obstetrics and gynecology and chief of obstetrics at Yale-New Haven Hospital totally pwns Shvarts. "The most likely scenario," he told the YDN, "is that all Shvarts was seeing every month was her own menstrual blood. Half of the Yale community sees art of similar quality when taking care of their monthly hygiene." (Oh, snap!)

Yale brass are standing firm on their decision to keep Shvarts's work out of the exhibition. They told her last week that in order to have her work show, she would have to confirm that "her project was 'a work of fiction,' [admitted] that she did not inseminate herself or induce miscarriages and promis[ed] that no human blood will appear in the project." Shvarts would agree to none of those conditions, and so her work was not shown.

Since there was little to no hubbub at the exhibition, I'm hoping that this will soon disappear into the internet ether and I won't have to see those scuffed, fringed cowboy boots ever, ever again. Unless, on graduation day, she decides to smear her cap and gown with menstrual blood to protest Yale's suppression of her ideas — then I just really hope someone tapes that and sends it to us, with or without the cowboy boots.

After Buildup, A Quiet Opening [Yale Daily News]
Experts Shed Doubt On Shvarts' Claim [Yale Daily News]

Earlier:
Avant Garde Assholes
One Thing Is Certain: Right Now, Yale University & Aliza Shvarts '08 Are 100% Annoying
Aliza Shvarts: The Halloween How-To For Harvard Students
Yale: Abortion Art Piece Was "Creative Fiction"
Just How Do You Give Yourself An Herbal Abortion?
Yale Senior Undergoes Multiple Self-Induced Miscarriages In The Name Of Art

• Eating chocolate is more of a turn-on than kissing, says a new study. Bullshit! Everyone remembers their first kiss! Who remembers their first Hersheys? [DailyTelegraph]
• The Bush Administration's expensive abstinence-only programs were colossal failures. Expensive? Failures? Bush Administration? Definitely a theme continuing on here. [CNN]
• Girl Power: Making spinsters out of millions of girls and young women. [Feministing]
• More and more health providers in the UK are refusing to perform abortions. [BBC]