Ben Whishaw plays Keats. Yes. Verily. And yeah, I rejected working in Keats quotations in every caption. I accept your thanks from afar.


Abbie Cornish looks stunning. And I hope she appreciates the fact that I once wrote a really mediocre paper in college defending Fanny Brawne against the interpretation of some long-dead literary critic. I'm guessing she doesn't though.


Jennifer Missoni wears peacock. Not in the top hat-goggles-frosted-tips-Mystery sense.


Sofia Coppola demonstrates a look I like to call "Miami Frump" which is much easier to pull off when one is Marc Jacobs' muse.


Well. Damien Fahey and Grasie Mercedes look remarkably pleased with themselves for two people who are about to sit through a bodice-ripper about a poet with TB.


Lynn Collins' skirt reminds me of the awesome ballad "Raggle Taggle Gypsies," which is the only silver lining here. That song, by the way, is allegedly based upon the real story of Lady Jane Hamilton, wife of John Kennedy, 6th Earl of Cassilis, who ran off with an outlaw, and was imprisoned as a result.


Jessica Chastain makes a strong case for the enduring appeal of the LBD.


Roberta Armani, meanwhile, looks exactly as you'd expect one who bears that name to look.


Anika Noni Rose's top has apparently caught on a nail and the bottom half has unraveled. Bummer. I hate it when that happens.


If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. Fran Drescher is benefiting from this maxim right now.


Doesn't Jane Campion look exactly as you'd imagine? Okay, maybe I didn't imagine the peace sign. But I can work with it.

[Images via Getty]

• While performing stand-up in New York on August 5, Rosie O'Donnell started talking about her stint on The View, which she referred to as The Screw You, and called Elisabeth Hasselbeck "Elisabeth Half-a-brain." But Rosie wasn't done!

• An audience member says, "Rosie said when she first met Elisabeth, she thought she would love her, because they're both Christians... Then she stopped and said, 'But then she turned on me.' Then Rosie called her a 'twat.' O'Donnell then moved on to a different subject, saying she really didn't want to start a new feud, or restart an old one." Too late Rosie! [Fox News]
• Jon and Kate Gosselin's divorce will be finalized by the end of the month. Also Hailey Glassman has agreed to do an interview with E!'s Giuliana Rancic on August 17 in a one-hour special at 7pm ET. She's going to stay away from the kids until the divorce is official, but then all bets are off. [Radar Online, Ok]
• This week's episode of Jon and Kate Plus 8 had only 3.5 million viewers, down 4 million from the week before. [Us]
• Let's hope no one gets in Taylor Lautner's way! "I love that kid," says Kristen Stewart. "I would do anything for him. I would kill for him, literally." [People]
• Though it was reported that Jennie Garth, who is married to Twilight's Peter Facinelli said Robert Pattinson was either dating Kristen Stewart or Nikki Reed, rep says she actually said, "I can't say [who Rob's dating]. That will be breaking my promise to my husband. But I do know." [Radar Online]
• This morning on Today, Brad Pitt says he's seen the "Brad Pitt for mayor" shirts many New Orleans resident have been wearing, but he's not considering a run because, "I don't have a chance." [AP]
• Three sources say Dr. Conrad Murray left Michael Jackson alone after giving him propofol to make phone calls on the morning he died. He'd left him alone after giving him the drug before, but not monitoring MJ may legally meet the level of negligence required for an involuntary manslaughter charge. [L.A. Times]
• Michael Jackson and a man named Henry Vaccaro had been fighting over some of MJ's memorabilia, including 26 unreleased songs for years. When two of Jackson's lawyers went to retrieve eight of the items last month Vaccaro said they were missing, but the items were later auctioned off. Police are investigating. [TMZ]
• Motown founder Berry Gordon will write the introduction to the rerelease of Michael Jackson's memoir Moonwalk. [AP]
• Though Amy Winehouse was previously banned from entering the U.S. she still wants to do a tour and her spokesperson said that now, "There is nothing to stop her getting a visa to travel to America." [Contact Music]
• Patrick Swayze was recently hospitalized for a week, possibly because of intestinal bleeding, but he's home now. [Radar Online]
• Madonna is renovating her recently purchased New York townhouse and now huge dumpsters are blocking the entire road. [The Sun]
• If Philadelphia school officials approve, Tony Danza may co-teach 10th grade English at Northeast High School this fall for a reality TV show called Teach on A&E. [AP]
• Billy Mays' health insurance commercial for the iCAN benefit group has been pulled from the air. [TMZ]
• Kourtney Kardashian has revealed that boyfriend Scott Disick is the father of her child. As for how she could have gotten pregnant she said, "There's so many times I'll forget to take my pill. I've done that several times and never really thought about it…I know, it's stupid." When she told Disick, "He was like way more like excited than I was. Like he definitely wasn't as nervous and scared." But she's not sure if they'll get married. She says, "We've talked about it, but I feel like there's so much going on that I like can't even go there." [E!]
• Kourtney's mom Kris Jenner says, "I am beyond thrilled and excited and cannot wait to meet my new grandchild! We are truly blessed." [People]
• Sky Blu of the hip-hop group LMFAO has a crush on Khloe Kardashian. [E!]
• Though she initially didn't show much interest in Beatles Rock Band, which will be released in September, Yoko Oko visited Harmonix studios in Boston a few months ago. "She gave the designers hell," said a VP at the company. "We were like, ‘Oh, gee. Thanks'. It would have been nice to know that six months ago, but yes, ‘Thank you very much'." [Mirror]
• Karl Rove and Rush Limbaugh are going to guest star in an upcoming episode of Family Guy in which Brian becomes a Republican because he's upset he has nothing to complain about anymore with Barack Obama in the White House. [Politico]
• Toby Keith's new song and music video American Ride may become the theme for town hallers. It makes fun of global warming, terrorists, and illegal immigrants, and the video shows "President Bush in front of the White House giving Christian-right leader Pat Robertson a piggyback ride. Another shows bankers hoisting President Obama in a walk through a destroyed Wall Street district as dollars fall from the sky." Check it out here: [U.S. News & World Report]
• The Miss Universe Organization has releasing topless photos of outgoing Miss Universe, Dayana Mendoza of Venezuela, to Maxim for the September issue. While previously similar organizations have always condemned contestants for releasing such pictures (Mendoza's arm covers her breasts), a pageant official said, "She just loved the way they turned out and she really wanted to be able to share them. If she had taken these photos and sent them to a magazine, that would be a different issue. But she handled this so appropriately. She came to us and said, ‘I understand I'm Miss Universe and I have this title, but as Dayana Mendoza, I'd like to share these photos.'" [MSNBC]
• Jerry O'Connell has enrolled at Los Angeles' Southwestern Law School. When his wife Rebecca Romijn was asked why he enrolled there she said he was, "very impressed with the faculty and the vibe here. This is brand new to him as well. He's very much looking forward to his education." [Us]
• In the video at the link Jessica Capshaw of Grey's Anatomy explains that the next season will be "heavy." [E!]
• Reese Witherspoon, who is filming the baseball movie How Do You Know has just recovered from getting a black eye a few weeks ago, and now she has another one. [Daily Express]
• Abbie Cornish, who was accuse of breaking up Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Philippe's relationship says, "It was a really difficult time for me... It was just this world of tabloid magazines that I'd never been exposed to. In a normal successful career, someone usually learns these things bit by bit. For me, it was like night and day. I woke up one day and there was this whole new thing I had to process and deal with." [W]
• Mike Tyson has given his first interview since the accidental death of his 4-year-old daughter Exodus. "I am working with dealing with it," he says. "I have spoken to a lot of people. I have become a member of an exclusive club no one wants to join. I have been told the pain never stops but you get over it. I am going through a process, trying to heal. I am in denial, because I don't know how to handle it. I don't know what to do or say. I appreciate everybody who supported me." [Entertainment Tonight]
• Victoria Beckman's rep says, "there are no talks of her being a permanent judge [on American Idol]. They felt she was natural in Denver. [But] she has Fashion Week coming up, and she is focusing on that." [L.A. Times]
• Lily Allen has but a Breitling watch she bough for herself that's too big up for sale on Twitter for £3,200. [Daily Mail]
• Here's a picture of Katie Price's new boyfriend, Alex Reid, hanging out with Katie and Peter Andre's son. Both are topless for some reason. [Daily Mail]
• "I love England. It would be a wonderful life experience to have an excuse to work here for six or nine months..." says Quentin Tarantino. "I am a huge fan of Simon Pegg, so I would definitely love to work with him. I also think Kate Winslet is one of the best actresses that ever lived, so I would be honoured to work with her. I am also a huge admirer of Anthony Hopkins. I would also love to work with Michael Caine. I can see them appearing in my movies, it just has to be right." [Daily Express]
• Q: How does it feel to be the face of Twitter. Ashton Kutcher: "It feels like I should own some of it but unfortunately I don't. However one person does not make a community." [Time]
• Q: Does it bother you to be called Mr. Demi Moore? Ashton Kutcher: No. Why would it? People have called me much worse. [Time]
• Rachel McAdams says of playing a mother for the first time, "I was excited and nervous about it because I haven't done it before. It was a welcome challenge. The little girls [Hailey McCann and Tatum McCann] in this film were so fantastic. They are real sisters and they made my job really easy. So I didn't have to work too hard at that." [People]
• "I think Pete's really honest, and there's something to be said for that, on this show. He's honest even when it works against him. He can't help himself. He has to say the blatant thing. He's like that guy who meets someone and says, "Oh wow, you have a mole on your nose!" I like people like that. They're not ashamed to go up to a guy and be like, 'Hey, how'd you lose your arms?' Like, 'Come on, everyone else is wondering, I had to ask!' But then, the guy without the arms is probably so sick of answering that question! ... He's no Don Draper. Like you said, he's the biggest rube in the room. And he's the biggest buffoon in the room." — Vincent Kartheiser of Mad Men [Salon]

• How did Brad Pitt end up in Inglourious Basterds? Booze and weed maybe:

"All I know is we talked about backstory and we talked about movies into the wee hours," Brad says. "I got up the next morning and I saw five empty bottles of wine on the floor. Five. And something that resembled smoking apparatus, I don't know what that was. Apparently I had agreed to do the movie and six weeks later I was in a uniform." You read that right: He and Quentin Tarantino were wasted and talking about Hitler. [Guardian]

• "'Today' show's Ann Curry can't keep hands off 'Inglourious Basterds' Brad Pitt in Cannes." [NY Daily News]
• Some guy named Kris Allen won this thing called American Idol. Will the Glambert have a career?!?! [Reuters, NY Daily News]
• Simon Cowell has his personal bodyguards watching over Terri Seymour after she was attacked by a disgruntled American Idol fan. [Daily Mail]
• Green Day has the most popular CD in the country, but you can't get it at Wal-Mart; "They won't carry our record because they wanted us to censor it," frontman Billie Joe Armstrong says. The retailer would have offered a "clean" version, but Billie Joe explains: "We just said no. We've never done it before. You feel like you're in 1953 or something." [AP]
• Rihanna was indeed seen kissing rapper Drake, whom you may know as Aubrey Graham, aka Jimmy Brooks on Degrassi: The Next Generation; the guy in the wheelchair. Remember that time he found out he couldn't get it up? Yeah. Anyway click here for a LOL. [People]
• The recent Bruce Springsteen hubub — in which he was accused of having an affair with his neighbor's wife — was actually extortion. The husband thought the rocker would pay "big money" to make the accusations "go away." [NY Post]
• The brother of Jon Gosselin's alleged mistress says: "The rumors are true… Personally, I do think they're going to continue seeing each other. I think they think they can get away with it." [E!]
• Kate Gosselin says the tabloids are making her life hell and she is worried about the kids: . "I don't want them dragged into this. It kills me. I've been saying, 'Let's find a country where our show doesn't air, and let's just go there until this all dies.' I have to laugh about this, or else I'll cry. It's a matter of, when will they stop?" [People]
• Mariah Carey announced the title of her new album via Twitter: "Bcuz I Love U, I want u to be the first to know the title of my new album Memoirs Of An Imperfect Angel. It's very personal & dedicated to u." It is not dedicated to proper spelling, however. [Mirror]
• Talent firms William Morris and Endeavor are merging, which is good news for clients like Amy Adams, Keira Knightley, Ben Affleck and Matt Damon, but bad news for the 100+ people who have been laid off. [Gatecrasher]
• Chris Brown may be working on a country song called "Trapped In A Dream." Doesn't he mean nightmare? [E!]
• Kim Cattrall has written an essay about making Memorial Day meaningful for The Huffington Post. She writes: "My family has served in the military dating back at least four generations, so I can truly appreciate the sacrifices made by those men and women who have fought so courageously in defense of freedom." [HuffPo]
• Kim Kardashian's Dash stores in Miami and Calabasas CA have both been vandalized — the perps scribbled graffiti on the windows, and the kopykat krime in CA included a note which read, "We love you Kim!!" If you love her, why are you spraypainting her windows? [TMZ, E!]
• Susan Boyle: Namechecked on The Simpsons. [Mirror]
• The head honcho at Disney/ABC is being dragged into Kate Walsh's divorce battle — Kate's ex wants him to testify about Kate's finances. [TMZ]
• Josh Lucas has dumped a gf via text message in the past. "I'm sickeningly embarrassed about it to this day." [Gatecrasher]
• A man in Montana — who was accused in 2005 of trying to kidnap David Letterman's son — was denied appeal by the Montana Supreme Court. [AP]
• Michael Jackson canceled the first four opening shows of his 50-date gig at London's O2 arena, which means 80,000 fans who had bought tickets will have to wait up to eight months to see the concerts. Jackson says the cancellation is due to "technical issues." As in, technically, he is not ready to do a huge concert? [Daily Mail]
• Can you ever, ever get tired of seeing pictures of 50 Cent and Bette Midler together? [Gatecrasher]
• James Cameron's Avatar, described by Steven Soderbergh as "the craziest shit ever," may be shown in theaters for THREE MONTHS. [NY Mag]
• Natalie Cole had a kidney transplant on Tuesday; she had been have dialysis three times a week since September. [CNN]
• "'Meet me man to man and I'll save your marriage,' Katie Price's horse 'hunk' tells Peter Andre." [Daily Mail]
• In case you didn't hear, My Name Is Earl has been canceled. [Mirror, BBC]
• Abbie Cornish is in Jane Campion's new flick, Bright Star, and according to this report, she "dyed her locks chocolate brown, filled out her figure to fit with the era's rounder beauty standards and took diction lessons in order to deliver Keats' poetry just so." [WWD]
• Rosario Dawson will star opposite — ugh — Kevin James in a romcom called The Zookeeper. What is up with the schlubby dudes getting hot ladies? [Variety]
• Hank Azaria plays a reanimated ancient Egyptian bent on world domination in Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian and says: "It's kind of my niche — semi-naked, accented freak." [LA Times]
• Rapper/producer Swizz Beatz is in a relationship with Alicia Keys. But he's not yet divorced from wife Mashonda. He wants the court to seal documents related to the divorce so the public doesn't know any details. [Page Six]
• Michael Douglas spent Wednesday night moderating a panel of Washington experts on the issue of ridding the world of nuclear weapons. I watched Clean House. [USA Today]
• Phil Spector may get life in prison. [Mirror]
• Congrats to Chad Lowe and girlfriend Kim Painter, whose first child, Mabel Painter Lowe, was born on Saturday. [Star]
• Samantha Harris, the lady with the brown hair on Dancing With The Stars, will play Roxie Hart in Chicago on Broadway. [Page Six]
• Heather Mills was approached to be the face of a video game (based around someone with a prosthetic arm), but she wanted six figures to get involved with the project, and the producers were like, No. [The Sun]
• Redmond O'Neal was transferred to a new jail, where he'll begin intensive drug treatment. [People]
• "As she exhibits the bloodstained bag John Lennon's clothes were stored in after his murder, why the ex-Beatle's fans are saying 'You're just a ghoul, Yoko.'" [Daily Mail]
• RIP Wayne Allwine, who was the voice of Mickey Mouse. [Reuters]
• Blind item! "Which top model was dismissed from her agency - all because she became a Scientologist?" [Gatecrasher]
• "Batman's a hell of a lot tougher to do because he's all physical. He doesn't use guns. He's completely physical. John Connor uses guns. It's just a matter of picking somebody off and getting a good shot." — Christian Bale. [Mirror]
• "I've joined the millions and millions of women on the planet who are working mums, and I've discovered it's a real balancing act. I think the most incredible thing for me was that I didn't read any books about how to be a mum. Your instinct kicks in, and it's like you're tapping knowledge that you have in your DNA." — Rachel Weisz. [Mirror]
• "Artistically, me and Brad have been sniffing around each other for a while. The longing looks across the room, the little notes, 'I like you, do you like me.' Pretty quickly into writing I realised this is the one for Brad and then I started getting nervous – 'shit, if he doesn't do it, what the fuck am I going to do?'" — Quentin Tarantino, on Inglourious Basterds. he also says: "I'm never going to explain the spelling. When you do an artistic flourish like that, to describe it, to explain it, to take the piss out of it would invalidate the whole stroke in the first place." [Guardian]
• "We interviewed GfE's. They were intrigued by (the film). They were very helpful, very open. They would have to see the film to let me know if it's an accurate depiction of their lifestyle or not. There was only one of them we talked to that was in a committed relationship. That was one of the things we talked about — how do relationships work when this is your job? Most of them said it really doesn't. Most of them said if I'm going to get serious with someone then I'll stop working for a while and play it out. All of them said it never works out with a client. Whenever you move from the client to a real relationship it never works out. Although the one that we met who was in a committed relationship did meet that person as a client and they have been together for a long time. So I guess there are no absolutes. But in general they seem to think that doesn't work." — Steven Soderbergh, on his new film, The Girlfriend Experience. [Reuters]
• "Every time I am making a movie I feel insecure, and I feel scared, and that's part of the way I work.If one day I would be on the set feeling too secure - that would really scare me." — Penelope Cruz. [Yahoo News via AP]
• "I'd like to offer an apology and a clarification to remarks I made recently. While on the David Letterman program, I joked that I might need a ‘mail-order bride' to achieve the goal of having more children in my life. I believe that most people understood that this was a joke and took it as such. (A dated reference, no doubt, and another sign of my advancing age.) However, I do apologize to anyone who took offense." — Jack Donaghy Alec Baldwin. [MSNBC]
• "Showbiz types are people who grew up talking to themselves alone in a room for hours until they found some sort of outlet. Once they found that outlet, everything fell into place, except for the fact that they still never worked out why they still talk so much. So you see, though filled with deep emotional voids that can never be filled, Showbiz Types are an important part of our Nation's tapestry. I'm a Showbiz Type. (cue penny whistle and marching drums) But I am not a douche!!" — John Mayer. [Perez]
• "FRESH ASS PICTURE!!! YO WHY CAN'T ALL PAPARAZZI PHOTOS BE THIS GOOD? WELL OBVIOUSLY BECAUSE MOST CELEBS JUST AREN'T RIHANNA LOL! ... BUT ON THE REAL, THIS PIC IS HARDCORE. PEEP THE PERSPECTIVE SHOT OF THE CITY IN THE BACK. SOMETIMES THE PAPS OVEREXPOSE THE LENS OR HAVE THE FLASH TOO HIGH TAKING ALL THE EMOTION OUT OF THE MOMENT. THIS MOMENT IS CAPTURED IN TIME NOW. I LOOK AT OUR CURRENT SUPERSTARS LIKE LEGENDS IN THE MAKING... LIKE JUSTIN IS THE NEW MIKE , BEYONCE'S THE NEW TINA TURNER, GAGA'S MADONNA, JAY IS SINATRA... WAYNE IS HENDRIX, THOM YORKE IS ROGER WATERS, THESE ARE THE CHAMPIONS AND SHOULD BE DOCUMENTED AS SUCH. THAT SAID, IT WOULD BE DOPE IF THE PAPS OPERATED WITH THE SAME INTEGRITY AND ATTENTION TO THEIR CRAFT AS THE LEGENDS THEY PHOTOGRAPH..... GOOD JOB ON THIS ONE!" — Your friend Kanye West, complimenting a snap of Rihanna. [Kanye Univercity, NY Daily News]

[Sydney, December 16. Image via INF]

[Sydney, December 14. Image via Flynet]

• As part of her ongoing media blitz, Jennifer Aniston is wearing only a necktie on the cover of GQ. In the story, the reporter asks why people are still interested in the story of her breakup with Brad and his ladyfriend, Angelina. Aniston tells the reporter: "The funny thing is that people don't realize we all go away to the Hamptons on the weekends. No. But can you imagine? That'd be hysterical: I've got Zahara on my hip, and Knox...." [Us Magazine]
• Oh, this is not the first time Jen's posed nekkid; she was bare-assed on the cover of Rolling Stone back in 1996. [Extra]
• Don't forget, guys, Jen is working on a movie called Pumas, which she calls "sort of a female Wedding Crashers" about two "aspiring cougars." Roar? [People]
• This Q&A with Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio begins with Kate saying, "Where is that little fucker?" because Leo is running late. [EW
• Additionally, Leo talks about current teen heartthrobs Zac Efron and Robert Pattinson: "When I see younger actors getting a tremendous amount of publicity, I say to myself, Well, they’ve been given an unbelievable opportunity, and I hope they know within themselves that all that really matters at the end of the day is the work. All this noise and attention will absolutely deteriorate and there will be a new, fresh piece of meat for the media to focus on within less than a year’s time." [Just Jared]
• These "Gwyneth marriage is on the rocks" stories keep popping up. [Gatecrasher]
• Uh-oh, guess who got beat up in prison? Your old pal, Blake Incarcerated. [The Sun]
• Supposedly pregnant Kate Moss was seen with "poppers," aka amyl nitrite. Tsk, tsk! [Daily Mail]
• Bobby Brown was working on a tell-all book about Whitney Houston, except for the part where he forgot he'd signed a confidentiality agreement in which he promised not to write anything about her. But! There is still a book coming out, written by Derek Handspike, and it has all the stories Bobby promised, like how he "died" three times from drug overdoses; hit Whitney, and had sex with Janet Jackson. Good times. [Fox 411]
• Madonna and Guy: Still locked in a custody battle, even though the divorce has gone through. Madonna's desire to live in the U.S. complicates things. [Daily Mail]
• Pete Wentz is actually Pete Wentz III. So why didn't he name his kid Pete IV? "There is a lineage of Pete's, but this is not a Pete," he says. "I think that it's important to name someone after you meet them and you realize who they are. And when I met my son, he looked like he was a Bronx." [E!]
• By the by, magazines do not want to waste cash on pix of Bronx. [Page Six]
• Heath Ledger's name has been stripped from a new Australian arts center that was supposed to be named in his honor. [News.com.au]
• Nice: Writer Patricia Cornwell is speaking out about same-sex marriage. "If people like me don't take a stand then it will only get worse. We just want to live and let live and be treated in the same way straight people are treated," she says. [Reuters]
• Fiddy Cent: Addicted to success! That's what he says in this video. And he looks good in a suit. [The.Life Files]
• Ever since the National Enquirer reported that Kelly Ripa and Mark Conseulos were splitting up, Kelly has been talking about Mark every day on her show and been spotted kissing him in public. Subtle spin! [NY Mag]
• Score one for Josh Hartnett: The Mirror had to pay him £20,000 in libel damages after printing that he indulged in "steamy shenanigans" with a mystery woman at a London hotel and that they were caught on closed circuit TV. Sorta sad that this story isn't true! [The Star]
• Oh no, more Twilight drama: the studio doesn't want to rehire Taylor Lautner, the actor who played Jacob! Ridiculous, since he is adorbs. They're also dealing with the "obstacle" of finding Native American actors. Again, ridiculous! Didn't Kevin Costner find heaps of them back in the day? [Perez Hilton]
• What a tangled web: Evan Rachel Wood has been cast as Mary Jane in Spider-Man: The Musical. [Perez Hilton]
• Animal rights groups are pissed at Nigella Lawson, who said, "If I could go out into the woods and kill a bear myself, I’d wear it proudly as a trophy." She added: If you’re in nature and it’s either you go or the bear…" [The Sun]
• Can the world take nine seasons of Desperate Housewives? [USA Today]
• LOL! The Top Ten Things Bijou Phillips Hates include "when guys get highlights" and "being too old to play Barbie dolls." [BlackBook]
• What's this? Tori Spelling, aka Donna Martin Graduates, might end up being on 90210 2.0 after all? [Yahoo News via E!]
• Alicia Silverstone on stage! In LA, in the world premiere of Donald Margulies' Time Stands Still. [Variety]
• D-List celebs get paid to "host" New Year's Eve parties? Still? Even in this economy? [Page Six]
• DJ AM: Not impressed by the chick on The Bachelorette. [Page Six]
• Is Abbie Cornish knocked up with Ryan Phillippe's kid? [News.com.au]
• When these Hanson kids have kids we're forced to remember they're not kids. [People]
• Rihanna's nails are happy and sad and happy and sad. [Concrete Loop]
• Yesterday we read Katie "Jordan" Price claims, in her own words, that she is not pregnant; today, this report announces hat she is three months along. [News.com.au]
• This dumb sorta racist song may or may not be rapped by Kevin Federline. Actually, it sounds nothing like him, and that is an awful thing to admit. [The Atlantic]
• Somehow Kylie Minogue doing a musical number a Bollywood film seems absolutely right. [The Sun]
• Prison Break's Lane Garrison has been slapped with a wrongful death lawsuit; he will definitely have to pay up! [Perez Hilton]
• Ben Stiller will replace Mark Ruffalo Greenburg, a comedy-drama Noah Baumbach is writing and directing. (Baumbach was nominated for an Oscar for The Squid and the Whale and is married to Jennifer Jason Leigh.) [The Hollywood Reporter]
• The wife of disgraced private eye Anthony Pellicano is getting a reality show, in which she and her three daughters try to figure out how to fund their extravagant lifestyle without Hubs/Daddy. [Variety]
• Jessica Lange and Sam Shepard have sold their Minnesota house at a loss. [UPI]
• Stop, oh ho ho stop me, stop me if you think that you've heard this one before: The Smiths are talking about a reunion. [Telegraph]
• Documents from the archives of the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. were supposed to be auctioned off; Harry Belafonte, who owned the papers, withdrew them from sale right before the auction. [NY Times]
• "She's been saying that for years. I have nothing against her but I'm still living and working. You know I'm not dead yet." — Stevie Nicks on Lindsay Lohan's obsession to play her in a movie. [Perez Hilton]
• "My target audience is females between the ages of 70 and 85." — Enrique Iglesias. [Mirror]
• "I'm very intelligent. I'm capable of doing everything put to me. I've two records, I've launched a perfume and I want my own hotel chain. I'm the living proof that blondes are not stupid." — Paris Hilton. [The Sun]
• "Hey everyone! I haven't written in a while, just wanted to write and check in! Motherhood is the most fantastic experience I have ever been thru, Bronx makes me laugh and smile everyday! I finally left the house for Fall Out Boy's show on Monday night, which was so good. Their new songs sound awesome live, I can't wait for their new record! And last night I went to Pete and Bronx's godfather Travis' artshow. It's amazing to see how many artistic outlets those boys have! Made me very proud. It was an awesome show and so many of our friends and family came out to support. I hope you guys have a great holiday, I can't wait to spend it with my new family. Christmas tree goes up tomorrow!" — Ashlee Simpson's MySpace blog. [ET]
• "I was never single in the industry — when the movies came out and I started getting more jobs, I was always married. So [becoming the subject of romance rumors] is very new to me, and it hits you very fast because the publications jump on you. You’re dating everybody you walk around with — you can’t have any male friends. It’s weird.' — Kate Hudson. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "We were both relishing [the fights]. Reading those sequences where these people are at each other's throats and having these suburban knockout, drag-out fights? Look, there's not many actresses like Kate Winslet who you know can endure anything you give them and give it right back." — Leonardo DiCaprio. [EW]
• [Sudden fame] did affect my choices as an actress, definitely. In a good way. It really made me sit and think, ''Okay, you know what? Don't worry about the fact that there's 10 paparazzi outside the door, don't worry about the fact that people may be expecting completely different things from you right now just because you're suddenly so famous. This doesn't mean anything in the grand scheme of what you love about your job.' So in a way, Titanic has played a very big part in being able to hang on to a sense of who I am, because I felt that I had to fight for it then at a very young age." — Kate Winslet. [EW]

• Reese Witherspoon is "a little strict" about her kids' Christmas presents, in order to ensure that they won't grow up super-spoiled. "I think kids do best when they only have a couple of things that they really enjoy," Witherspoon says, "I try and stay away from the gluttony of things. They don't appreciate it as much. When they only get one or two things they really like it." [People]

• However, Reese's daughter Ava has asked for a horse for Christmas, and Reese is still unsure as to whether she'll actually buy her one or not. [US Magazine]

• Perhaps Ava asked her father, Ryan Phillippe, to buy her a horse over Thanksgiving weekend, which she and her brother, Deacon, spent with Phillipe and his girlfriend, Abbie Cornish. Or maybe she should ask her mom's boyfriend, Jake Gyllenhaal, who spent Thanksgiving weekend with Reese in the United Kingdom.[JustJared]

• In any case, Reese has reason to celebrate: Four Christmases beat Twilight at the box office, taking in 15 million dollars. [EW]

• You may have to put your dreams of becoming Mrs. Legolas on hold: Orlando Bloom is reportedly engaged to model Miranda Kerr. [ONTD]

• Britney Spears performed once again; this time she hit up The X Factor. But was
  she (shock!) lip-synching? [DailyMail]

• Lip-synching or no, Britney's mother, Lynne Spears, thinks "Britney’s just ready to get started again. I think this is when she’s most in her element.”[TheSun]

• But! Britney was reportedly brought to tears while waiting to perform on the French television show Star Academy as a retrospective of her career flashed across the screen. Happy tears? Sad tears? At this point, it's anyone's guess. [ONTD]

• Roselyn Sanchez of Without A Trace married fellow actor Eric Winter on Saturday. [US Magazine]

• After seeing pictures of Sienna Miller out on the town with Leonardo DiCaprio and Josh Hartnett, Balthazar Getty reportedly flew to London "in the hope of a reconciliation." However, a source says, "They are keeping it very casual; they are not back together."[DailyMail]

• Is Guy Richie's Sherlock Holmes movie cursed? Several accidents on the set are leading some people to believe so. [TheSun]

• Country music star Taylor Swift is thankful for her family and friends: "I'm thankful that, even when it's raining, I've got people to count on." [People]

• "I admire any woman who has made it in this business and hasn't lost her marbles." - Eva Mendes[PageSix]

• Looks like Benji Madden isn't crying too hard over his breakup with Paris Hilton; he was spotted at an Adam Green concert saying, "I'm back!" to scenester Cory Kennedy. [PageSix]

• Pink has released her new video, "Sober," which chronicles the end of her party girl days. [E!]

• About 4,000 fans attended the "A Christmas Story" convention in Cleveland, which was put on to celebrate the classic holiday film's 25th anniversary. So far, there have been no confirmed reports of anyone shooting their eye out. [NYTimes]

[Los Angeles, November 13. Image via x17]

[Los Angeles, November 9. Image via INF]

[Brentwood, October 9. Image via x17]

[Los Angeles, July 17. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

• Sean Penn and Robin Wright Penn are divorcing. Which is heartbreaking. We just don't want to think of Princess Buttercup feeling sad. [People]
  
• Jessica Alba and baby daddy Cash Warren are making it legal and have announced their engagement. Honestly, does anyone care? [USA Today]
  
• Poor Amy Winehouse: Has to go to court in Norway to deal with a marijuana possession charge. Hasn't our girl been through enough? [People]
  
• Ashley Olsen: Now thinner than Mary-Kate. [MSNBC]
  
• Given that the Jessica Simpson-Luke Wilson romantic comedy Blonde Ambition that opened over Christmas grossed only about $1,000 at the box office, Simpson's next film project, Major Movie Star, will be headed straight for DVD. [Page Six]

• We think that 3,000 picketing writers would make for the best Golden Globes ever. [NYT]
• Is Sienna Miller getting engaged to Rhys Ifan for her birthday today? [The Sun]
• Awkwardness abounds as the studio tries to find a way to promote the Ryan Philippe/Abbie Cornish film Stop-Loss without making the focus being the fact that it was working together on the project that Philippe and Cornish started a relationship. [Page Six]
• Miley "Hannah Montana" Cyrus and her also-15-year-old beau Nick Jonas have broken up. We would say "Oh they're only 15, this isn't even a real relationship," but then we remember Jaime-Lynn Spears. [Page Six]
• Does the fact that Miley has some not-so-innocent photos floating around the Internet have anything to do with it? [MSNBC]
• Marisa Tomei: Goes to church! What would George Costanza say? [Page Six]
• Glenn Close says her role in Fatal Attraction saved her marriage. We say that's kinda weird. [Daily Mail]
• Rebecca De Mornay was charged by the Los Angeles D.A. yesterday for two counts of misdemeanor driving. [TMZ]

• 24 star Kiefer Sutherland is in the slammer! The actor will serve 48 days in Glendale City Jail for his DUI conviction, which means he'll be there for his birthday, Christmas and New Year's Eve. Keep your head up, Kiefer! [TMZ]
  
• Also booked on DUI charges, with the LAPD: Vivica A. Fox. She was at the police station for 20 minutes. People! Do not drink and drive! [TMZ]
  
• John Mayer exchanged numbers with Ricki Lake at a party Tuesday, saying, "I've had a crush on you for two years." Uh, since she's been real thin, you mean? [Page Six]
  
• In 1989, when Anjelica Huston found out that Jack Nicholson had gotten Rebecca Broussard pregnant, Jack says she "[came] down to my job and beat the hell out of me. She really beat me up, I tell you. Anjelica can punch!" [Page Six]

• Her Royal Highness The Queen of England attended a charity event at which Joan Rivers took the stage and cursed "13 times in seven minutes." Goodness! [Page Six]
• Lance Armstrong and Sheryl Crow had dinner together?!? Amicable! [Page Six]
• Ryan Phillippe and Aussie actress Abbie Cornish are a real couple. They supposedly had a fling while filming a movie together (ending Ryan's seven year marriage to Reese Witherspoon) though Abbie denied it at the time. But photographs of her hanging out with his kids are out, making them official. Awkward! [Gatecrasher]
• Greek shipping heir Stavros Niarchos and hotelier Vikram Chatwal "fell" into the pool of a hotel in Beverly Hills while playing with a dog recently. Vikram had to get stitches, but when he came out of the hospital, Stavros toasted him with a cocktail called the Salty Dog. Oh, to be an international playboy. [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which velvet-voiced crooner with a famous parent is using his new fame to stock his bed with young lovelies - every time his wife is out of town?" [Gatecrasher, last item]
• In Russia in 2000, Actor Laurence Fishburne got super stoned and then rode a motorcycle with starchitect Frank Gehry on the back; Fishburne thought he was losing control of the bike, freaked out and nearly killed them both. High times! [Rush & Molloy]
• Jay-Z's contract as Universal Music label executive may not be renewed. 99 problems... [Rush & Molloy]
• Meanwhile, Jay celebrated his 38th birthday in Paris with Beyoncé. Le Gangster Américain! [People]
• At an awards event, Jodi Foster said she was a "gentleman" and a "professional" who is also "nutty as a fruitcake." No arguments here. [Rush & Molloy]
• Are Britney and Paris feuding? Apparently Brit write a nasty note to Paris, saying they'd heard rumors of a new sex tape scandal, and that if Paris continues to be rude to people, the footage will be leaked online. Paris allegedly laughed when she got the letter and called it "crap." [MSNBC]
• Nicole Richie was granted a leave of absence from her court-mandated anto-drinking program: The program suggested she discontinue because they are worried for her safety. But Nic's rep says they offer that option to anyone and she's not receiving special treatment. Sure, sure. [People]
• Emma "Baby Spice" Bunton says she's having so much fun being on tour with the Spice Girls and gets so worked up on stage that she "forgets the lyrics." Baby, whenever you don't know what to say, just shout "Gul Powah!" [People]