She goes bargain shopping with them in L.A. after meeting them at an event, and I remain smitten with Tank — just like many women in L.A. are (and not just the two he blew kisses at in the TMZ video). She says:

Besides acting as Levi's handler, Tank is his personal Tim Gunn and Henry Higgins all in one, instructing him on the subtleties of wearing a fedora and reminding him to be open-minded about the different types of people he might encounter. Tank is the ultimate 21st-century version of an American father: multicultural and media-savvy.

Somehow, I don't associate Tank with my dad, who is neither multicultural nor media savvy and probably doesn't know how to wear a fedora — though he did help teach me open-mindedness.

But maybe Espinosa equates Tank with Tim Gunn because he's such a clothes horse?

Tank's huge array of wardrobe options-his suits are custom-made for him by a tailor in Hong Kong and he estimates that he owns around 100 pairs of shoes-baffles Levi, who says he has 10 pairs of shoes and wears "like, two of them."

"I have different watches and rings that go with the outfits, too," says Tank. "Like when I have a blue suit on, I have a blue ring and a blue watch."

Tank and I are obviously kindred spirits in the shoe department, I admit.

And, like the rest of us, Tank would like to see Levi do something more with his look than jeans, work pants and flannels.

"Levi has his own style, and it works for him," says Tank. "But, if he's going to go into the entertainment field, he has to be versatile. That's one of the things I want him to start seeing-feeling those colors, and feeling those textures. That's a lot for him, especially when you're used to doing something a certain way."

I have some colors and textures Tank could feel, that's for certain.

Espinosa even gets pictures of Tank dancing with an Israeli shopkeeper to some music on in the background of her shop.

"Hold this," says Tank to Levi, handing him his hot dog. "Let me work this." Israeli music plays over the loudspeakers as Tank pays for his purchase. "I want to see the dance of your culture," says Tank to Dahan, motioning to her to come out from behind the counter to dance, and she enthusiastically obliges. As Tank leaves the store, he turns to Levi and says, "I just love meeting different people."

Oh, hells yeah.

Espinosa also asks Levi about Letterman's Bristol-A-Rod joke.

Levi, for the record, thought the joke was in poor taste, but he gets that Letterman is just a comedian. "I don't think he was trying to be malicious," he told The Daily Beast. "I just think the joke maybe went too far. I don't think that David was trying to advocate any sexual misconduct of any nature."

Whether or not the joke was funny or ill-conceived, though, Levi was mostly concerned about how it affected Bristol and Willow. "I don't like to see anybody hurt, especially if it got to the girls and their feelings were hurt," he said. "[The media] has said a million things about me and my family, and sometimes you have to take things with a grain of salt. But in this instance, things went a little too far."

Levi seems like a decent enough kid, but, really, men are always going to be more interesting. So can we talk some more about Tank now?

Shopping with Levi Johnston [Daily Beast]

Related: Levi Johnston Practices Unsafe SPF [TMZ]

Earlier: Levi Johnston Is Everyone's First Boyfriend
Levi Johnston Bares Nothing In L.A.

The thing is, Chris Jones is not alone in his bromantic feelings towards Vince's golden acreage. To most "dudes," Vince Vaughn is the kind of guy they want to befriend, or even better, the kind of guy they want to be. He was even given the "The Golden Mantlers" and inducted into the Guy's Hall of Fame by Spike TV. But why has the dude demographic, a demographic which is generally not comfortable with expressing same sex affection, professed its undying love for this gargantuan funnyman? We parsed the Esquire article and figured it out.

1. He's good looking, but not too good looking, and certainly not girly looking. He's a big hunka virile man.

His hair rises like a wave above the low-tide beach that is his forehead. (He calls it his fivehead.) His face is full, puffy enough to make him sometimes look as though he's fighting to keep his eyes open—not as though he's just woken up but as though he's never bothered to go to bed in the first place. it.

2. Vaughn dresses like a slob and is still able to pull down famous, quality ladies, like Jennifer Aniston, Joey Lauren Adams, and by some accounts Cameron Diaz.

He wears a pair of old-school Nike sneakers that could be used as war canoes. About…Even from across this crowded restaurant, it's possible to see a jumbo slice of Vaughn's naked belly. It's too much to ignore, this great golden acreage, because he leads with it and because it's probably been kissed by Jennifer Aniston, standing on her tippy-toes. The man doesn't just occupy airspace; he fills it.

3. And speaking of ladies! Vaughn makes sorta lame frattish jokes a lot but he's good natured enough to get away with it. Like this conversation between Vince and bff Jon Favreau. Didja know? Wives are naggy and annoying!

"Are you done having kids?" Vaughn asks.
"Yeah, I'm done."
"You're not going to pull the goalie ever again?"
"No. Joy says, 'It's wife number two if you want more kids.' "
"Then you would have to move to, like, some Islamic country where you could have another wife," Vaughn says.
"Or nowhere. I could do the Hollywood thing, just hit reset."
"Or you could move into Warren Jeffs territory."
"I could set up a compound?"
"Yeah," Vaughn says, "a compound. That was so disturbing. You see all these little girls who look like extras from Little House on the Prairie. It's like Half Pint's been putting out for everybody. . . . "
"Polygamy seems appealing," Favreau says, "but then I've been watching that show Big Love, and you realize it's the same headaches."
"It's triple the headaches. Triple the nagging. Triple the question, What are you thinking?"
"Yeah, one marriage is enough," Favreau says.

4. But finally, the reason so many dudes love Vince Vaughn is because underneath all that golden-hued bluster, he's really just a sad clown. Dudes can wholeheartedly get behind Vaughn because he's not confident 100% of the time. Even the most hardened bro needs to shed a tear every now and again.

Just then, Vince Vaughn looks the way a big man looks when someone stands up to him for the first time in his life. He looks like a man who knows that he can cover only so much ground, that even giants have their limits. He looks like a man who knows he will have to pick a side. He looks suddenly smaller. He still looks a lot like Vince Vaughn, only built to scale.

Vince Vaughn: The Biggest Man In The Room [Esquire]