Phibbs thinks she is. But first off, what exactly constitutes a feminist icon? Surely, it's a title that is bestowed upon a person, rather than sought out. And it probably has less to do with what the icon has actually done, and more to do with what it meant for and how it affected the fan.

For me, Dolly Parton is totally a feminist icon. But not for "9 to 5." Instead, it was "Just Because I'm a Woman," a song about fighting sexual double standards that — released in 1968 — was far ahead of it's time.

I can see you’re disappointed
By the way you look at me
And I’m sorry that I’m not
The woman you thought I’d be
Yes, I’ve made my mistakes
But listen and understand
My mistakes are no worse than yours
Just because I’m a woman

So when you look at me
Don’t feel sorry for yourself
Just think of all the shame
You might have brought somebody else

Just let me tell you this
Then we’ll both know where we stand
My mistakes are no worse than yours
Just because I’m a woman

Now a man will take a good girl
And he’ll ruin her reputation
But when he wants to marry
Well, that’s a different situation

He’ll just walk off and leave her
To do the best she can
While he looks for an angel
To wear his wedding band

Now I know that I’m no angel
If that’s what you thought you’d found
I was just the victum of
A man that let me down

Yes, I’ve made my mistakes
But listen and understand
My mistakes are no worse than yours
Just because I’m a woman

No, my mistakes are no worse than yours
Just because I’m a woman

Dolly Parton: Feminist Icon? [The Guardian]

"I'm Not Here To Make Friends": A Montage [FourFour]

Seriously, given that you got attacked from the left for appearing a little squishy on abortion during your time in the Illinois legislature and you've still got Hillary supporters to court, it probably wasn't the most prescient time to say this:

I have repeatedly said that I think it’s entirely appropriate for states to restrict or even prohibit late-term abortions as long as there is a strict, well-defined exception for the health of the mother. Now, I don’t think that "mental distress" qualifies as the health of the mother. I think it has to be a serious physical issue that arises in pregnancy, where there are real, significant problems to the mother carrying that child to term. Otherwise, as long as there is such a medical exception in place, I think we can prohibit late-term abortions.

Baby, that ain't what we need to hear. I miss the days when you used to whisper sweet nothings in my direction, things about that timely Iraq withdrawal and supporting a woman's right to choose. I'll admit my heart beat faster hearing you yell "Yes we can," and "We are the change that we have been waiting for." But, Barry, baby, "as long as there is such a medical exception in place, I think we can prohibit late-term abortions" is a total lady-bonerkiller.

And, honey, you totally put the kibosh on my mood with this little nugget:

I think we know that abortions rise when unwanted pregnancies rise. So, if we are continuing what has been a promising trend in the reduction of teen pregnancies, through education and abstinence education giving good information to teenagers. That is important—emphasizing the sacredness of sexual behavior to our children. I think that’s something that we can encourage. I think encouraging adoptions in a significant way. I think the proper role of government. So there are ways that we can make a difference, and those are going to be things I focus on when I am president.

Barry, ignorance is not sexy. Abstinence education? Oh, Barry, we all know that's not effective even though the fundies love hearing about it. Whose love do you want? Ours or theirs?

Look, I'm not trying to be clingy here. I know that everyone needs friends in their life, and I'm all about you making new friends. Don't think this is about that. I'm trying really hard not to be worried about your fidelity or to how you'll live up to the promises you made, but you're not making it easy. You can't just whisper "January 2009" in my ear anymore and send tingles up my spine. You have to say things like "universal health coverage" and "your body, your choice" and "comprehensive sex education" and "complete withdrawal from Iraq" and you have to mean it if you want to get my juices flowing again. Just try it, you'll remember how damn good it feels, and so will I.

— Me

Obama: Most Liberal Senator In 2007 [National Journal]
A Q&A With Barack Obama [Relevant]
Obama Supports FISA Legislation, Angering Left [Washington Post]
Bush's Faith-Based Programs Will Remain [San Francisco Chronicle]
Obama May Consider Slowing Iraq Withdrawal [Washington Post]
Abstinence-Only Education Ineffective In Preventing, Delaying Sex Among Teens, Study Says [Medical News Today]

Ms. Bengisu thinks a covered woman on vacation is like "an out-of-tune singer in the middle of a concert" and blames not Islam but the Turkish patriarchy. And she may have a point. Last summer, a woman was wearing a sundress while fishing on a bridge in Istanbul when a gust of wind blew her skirt up. Last week, she was found guilty of exhibitionism and charged with a five-month suspended prison sentence.

Over the weekend, a group of women protested the verdict on the streets of Istanbul, walking across the very bridge where the incident took place. They chanted things like: "It's not exhibitionism, it's male abuse!" and "State, take your hands off my body!" Many people think conservative thinking is on the rise in Turkey; a devout Muslim party has been in power since 2002.

Some questions: Isn't the beach is supposed to offer some escape from life's problems? Can't everyone, regardless of size, shape or abdominal tightness, enjoy the earth's natural beauty by the sea shore? How can you have a "bad" body for squishing your toes in the sand? How can a gust of wind make a woman guilty of exhibitionism? And where is the middle ground between calling a sundress "improper" clothing, the booming bikini-free vacation industry and the nit-pickery seen on E! and in tabloid magazines? How would the people telling Star Jones and Arnold Schwarzenegger to cover up feel if the government agreed with them?
Boom In Bikini-Free Holidays As Turkish Women Cover Up [Independent]
Turkish Women Attack Clothing Law [BBC News]

See, all this time I'd been assuming the developing countries would always imitate the useless consumption fads and phony neuroses that comprise the sorry substitute for purpose we call "lifestyle" around here. Otherwise, what is the West even good for? Well, funny you should ask, because I have an answer for that: nothing. We are good for nothing. Because I opened the fucking magazine, Anna. I couldn't not open it. And in a few flips of the page I almost regained my belief in something I should know better than anyone is a cynical con designed to sell shit to insecure women and perpetuate a lucrative unending cycle of the creation of new wants, which is to say: beauty. Beauty, of all things! Seriously, I was surprised as you. But check her out.







Who is this stunning broad? Well, look here, they actually give you her name. How gauche — and yet, useful! Don't strain your eyes; it's Lakshmi Menon.







And look, I Googled her! Would you believe she's the new face of Hermes? Not Hermes in India, Hermes in Everywheria!







Of course I fucking would. Look at her.







This girl could start the next Peloponnesian War and I would be like, "And?"







But let's face it, maybe the photographer deserves some credit. Who is this guy?







Do you think the only reason I don't open my magazines anymore is just fatigue with the anemic staged Leibovitz-Testino-Meisel-guy ripping off that guy who got AIDS sameness of Vogue and all the magazines that hire photographers on the sole basis that you launched their careers in Vogue??







Nah, probably not. She's just motherfucking stunning. Look, she doesn't even have a pedicure. Hot.

So anyway, don't blame yourself. The world is flat as the saying goes. So are magazines. Now, once upon a time it seemed like magazines were there to inspire you to get outside, walk around, learn a language, buy a fucking swimsuit, look at the pretty colors, educate yourself on the internal politics of whatever country's populist leader the CIA is trying to depose, and whatever else you're supposed to do. The flatness could almost convey the roundness, if you will. Yeah, I totally thought those days were over too. Maybe not! Oh, and don't bother coming in to get your stuff. Like Samantha says, we have people who can take care of that for us here. People whose children will one day put Bee out of a job, too!

Bestest,







Si

Earlier: Vogue India Debuts With Australian Blonde On Front, Bleeding Heart Inside?

Related: Wintour's Alleged Tryst With Conde Nast Boss [Gawker]

• A woman claims her fake breast was damaged when it was struck by a fake apple being thrown around the pool area of a La Quinta Inn. Women are saving less than men for retirement, in large part because because they are paid less. • Shopping mall developers are asking women directly what they want out of their shopping experience (answer: more food!).

There was even an entire New York Times article from a few years back where dudes talked about how freaked out they were watching their wives give birth. And so I ask you, kind Jezemoms and Dads: what happens to your sex life after you pop out a wee one? Please don't spare any gruesome details. We're big girls, we can take it.

From the Delivery Room to the Bedroom [Psychology Today]

Related: A Perilous Journey From Delivery Room to Bedroom [NYT]

The Ring Of Fire [Elle]

Earlier: What Should Jezebels Really Expect When They're Expecting
So, About That Harrowing Ring Of Fire Story

Vintage poster from Vintage Ads.

For one, I think lying in relationships is counterproductive. I consider it extremely disrespectful to my intelligence (because especially in a close relationship, the truth comes out eventually) and to the purpose of having a relationship in the first place. Isn't the goal to have someone to love you for who you are, shoe addiction and all? It's obviously one thing if you're trying to save for a house, or a new car, or simply to pay off your credit card debt, but if you have the money to buy one, then what does a shirt matter?

I just keep thinking, though, there's no need for deception in the first place. If it's so important for you to consume without regret, it's easy enough to keep your money separate. Several friends of mine do this — you get one joint account from which the bills are paid and contribute to that as you agree, and then keep your own accounts. As long as the mortgage is paid, the 401K is growing and nobody is going into debt on the sly, then her money is hers and his is his and no one complains about the new golf clubs or the new shoes because no one is feeling like they contribute to the joint expenses more than the other, or that their money is feeding the other person's silly spending habits.

Spouses Who Spend And Pretend [Wall Street Journal]

Earlier: Queefs: What's The Etiquette For Dealing With Air Up There?

Most American women, you see, are not professors, lawyers, doctors, or even bloggers (I know, you're shocked). Many are cubicle dwellers, spending their 9-5 hours toiling under bad lighting in stale air. "When it came to interactions with different partners, the women ranked interactions with their children as more enjoyable than those with clients/customers, coworkers, and bosses," Loh reports.

Have middle class and lower class women really been the beneficiaries of what Loh called the "extended whine of a privileged, educated upper class?" In some ways, yes, but in many ways, no. I don't really buy Hirshman's trickle down feminism; I don't think that if all of those Harvard Business School grads stayed at Goldman Sachs, life would get any better for the average working woman. Loh writes, "While the economy benefits, for working-class families with young children, so much of a second income is eaten up by child care and taxes and other costs." These women are just as trapped in some ways as the unhappy housewives of Friedan's era.

Earlier this month, Hirshman wrote an essay against "intersectionality" in the feminist movement, which Moe rebutted. Moe used the example of the upwelling of support from Jezebels for those felled by honor killings in Iraq. While of course there are more glaring incidents of violence against women outside the United States, we can't forget that there is still feminist work to be done within our country. And the work isn't going to be done through hundreds of articles written by upper class, educated, white feminists attacking each others' choices in an endless elite media circle jerk (the words "women" and "opt-out" appear in over 6,000 NYT articles). Loh's article is called "I Choose My Choice," and perhaps more writers need to acknowledge that a very, very small percentage of working women in the United States have anything close to a choice in the first place.

I Choose My Choice! [The Atlantic]
Looking To The Future, Feminism Has To Focus [Washington Post]
The Feminine Mistake [Washington Post]

The book she is planning on "authoring" will be a picture book, aimed at children, and will hit bookstores just in time for the Republican National Convention, of course. Meghan says:

This book will offer children the unique opportunity to see the character building events that happened over his lifetime, experiences that led up to his current bid to become the future president of the United States.

Oh, gag.

While publisher Simon & Schuster won't disclose the financial arrangements they have with Meghan, they have promised to donate a portion of the proceeds to the Intrepid Fallen Heroes Fund, a military and veterans charity. Meghan, however, has no such plans at this time. Shiny hair doesn't pay for itself.

John McCain's Daughter Is Writing Children's Book [AP]

In part, women perished at a level of almost 3 to 1 in some villages, because they are less physically strong, on average. It takes a lot of arm strength to hold onto something, and that's how many people survived. It was also a cultural thing, says Ripley, because many women were not taught to swim. To save this post from being a complete bummer, I will leave you with some heartening words from Ms. Ripley: "[Survivors of disasters] felt a lot of fear in early stages, when they're just realizing what's happening. But then things really seemed to be at their peak of terror, the fear went away… At that moment your brain needs to focus all its attention on surviving, so people will feel a sense of calm as their brain tries to sort out a plan." You, too, can survive a plane crash — so down some Xanax and fly on out into the sunset, my fellow aviaphobics!

Five Ways to Survive Any Disaster [Mother Jones]

• So, hooray, Ted Kennedy is out of the hospital. [NY Times]
• But, tomatoes might kill all of us, and I ain't even talking about the mutant kind. [Washington Post, Killer Tomatoes, with full info from the FDA]
• But daily sex with your partner definitely won't, though it will propel you to the top of the NY Times most emailed list and, actually, that might be more depressing than killer tomatoes. [NY Times]
• But it's okay because the Democrats "stunning" refusal to grant telephone companies legal immunity for doing potentially illegal things means the terrorists are all winning so we'll all be dead soon, so you might as well eat some damn tomatoes and try fucking tonight. [NY Times]

• It doesn't help any that Michelle and Barack Obama are sending super-secret signals to al Qaeda through their open use of the fist pound. No, for real, someone said that. I wish I was kidding. [Politico]
• I will continue to play Cassandra and point out that 17% of Clinton supporters currently plan to vote for McCain in November and another 22% plan to stay home, and that doesn't even count all the people I know that keep telling me they're going to make her a write-in candidate. Oh, and she's totes McCain's new BFF, what with her "centrist foreign policy views," as McCain aide and former National Review writer Michael Goldfarb says. [CNN]
• But, I can always get cheered up by talking trash about Cheney. [LA Times]
• But there's always something to bring me down, like about how you can actually catch a dude giving you a roofie and call the cops and go to the hospital and be able to prove it but the prosecutors can claim there's not enough evidence. Paging BAngieB. [LA Times]
• Oh, and, naturally, we've diverted all this humanitarian aid money that used to go to doing humanitarian stuff in Pakistan to helping them help us fight the War on Terror, you know, like finding Osama and shit, which means that lots of good humanitarian projects, like helping women fight and recover from abusive relationships, are severely underfunded. [Washington Times]
• But, hey, Scott McClellan is going to testify under oath about what little he knows about the nefarious doings in the Bush Administration. That should accomplish exactly nothing [HuffPo]
• I think I'll stick with let's get drunk (on Bloody Marys, natch, since vodka kills germs) and screw.

Though the names and photos of rape victims are not usually published in the media (as any reader of the Joan Didion essay Sentimental Journeys could tell you), Bowen consented to the use of her name and visage because she wants to make a stand for victims' rights. She has already filed suit against the judge for violating her First Amendment rights, and though the federal appeals court dismissed the suit, Bowen plans to take the case to the Supreme Court. Even though the appeals court dismissed it, U.S. District Judge Richard G. Kopf wrote, “For the life of me, I do not understand why a judge would tell an alleged rape victim that she cannot say she was raped when she testifies in a trial about rape."

And Kopf is right. If the argument is about defendant's rights, why is language only carefully guarded in sexual assault trials? Why wouldn't judges be making similar arguments in trials about regular old assault? Shouldn't they be forcing those victims to say, "When my face had a non-consensual interaction with the defendant's fist," rather than use the word "punched"? Bowen, for her part, is not backing down. “The judge took my words away from me," Bowen said. "How can the jury make an educated decision?”

Judge’s Ban On The Use Of The Word ‘Rape’ At Trial Reflects Trend [Kansas City Star]
Sentimental Journeys [New York Review of Books]

The A.V. Club:

Sandler plays the title character as an over-the-top cross between Paul Bunyan, Rambo, and Warren Beatty in Shampoo. He catches bullets with his nostril, swims like a dolphin, has what appears to be an overweight groundhog in his shorts, and is able to instantly transform a volley of stones hurled at him by angry Palestinian kids into a charming rock animal. To borrow a phrase from Mr. Show, Zohan repeatedly brings moviegoers to the verge of laughter, only to leave them there; it's sure to inspire plenty of embarrassed smiles but few belly laughs, unless audiences find the unconventional use of hummus, hacky-sack, and disco-dancing (three of the film's limp running gags) inherently hilarious. Sandler's famously easy-to-please fans will certainly find it amusing, but for anyone over the age of 12, it's considerably more goofy than good.

New York Times:

“Subtle” and “maturity” may seem like odd words to use about a movie that wrings big laughs from pelvic gyrations, indoor Hacky Sack and filthy-sounding fake-Hebrew and -Arabic words. But much as it revels in its own infantilism, You Don’t Mess With the Zohan is also brazenly self-confident in its refusal to pander to the imagined sensitivity of its audience. In this it differs notably from Albert Brooks’s Looking for Comedy in the Muslim World, which approached some of the same topics with misplaced thoughtfulness and tact. I suppose some Middle East policy-scolds may find reasons to quarrel with Zohan, either for being too evenhanded or not evenhanded enough in its treatment of Israelis and Palestinians. Did I mention that it’s a comedy?

The Hollywood Reporter:

As a commando-turned-hairdresser with superheroic strength and a supersized crotch, Adam Sandler gets the Israeli accent and the disco swagger just right. Laughs are less of a sure thing in You Don't Mess With the Zohan, but the comedy star's legions of fans will welcome the cheerfully crude proceedings as a return to silliness after several earnest, lower-key character turns. The melange of Middle East diplomacy, action absurdity, sexual healing and, when in doubt, hummus, wavers between muscular and middling. It's a surefire hit.

Entertainment Weekly:

There is… about enough novelty to fill a seven-minute sketch, most of it relating to the sweetness with which Sandler initially presents himself as a curly-haired, hyper-macho Israeli super-Jew. This proudly Semitic James Bond is good to his parents (Shelley Berman plays Zohan's papa like a pussycat compared with the kibitzing the old pro gave Larry David in Curb Your Enthusiasm), good to the tawny, bikinied Tel Aviv girls who flirt with him, good to his Israeli comrades, and even good to the little Arab kids whose villages he's sometimes forced to disrupt on the hunt for terrorists. Everything he loves about his country is summed up in his love of hummus; he even brushes his teeth with the stuff. There are at least as many hummus visual jokes in this movie as there were ancient tribes in Israel.

Washington Post:

In You Don't Mess With the Zohan, Adam Sandler manages to stereotype pretty much everyone in the Western Hemisphere. It's not like he's bravely confronting political correctness by reveling in expressing the nastiest stereotypes; it's more like he hasn't heard of political correctness and is unfamiliar with the concept of stereotypes in the first place. His mind is stuck at the 8-year-old level.

Christianity Today:

But politics of some sort is never far from view, and just as I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry ended on a didactic note, so too You Don't Mess with the Zohan has scenes in which Israelis and Arabs vent all their frustrations, peacefully and verbally, before finding that they agree on the sexual allure of various presidents' and senators' wives. But while all these racial and cultural barriers are being broken, two easy stereotypes remain firmly intact: the evil white businessman, and the evil white redneck.

'You Don't Want To Mess With The Zohan' opens today, nationwide.

MOE: Hi I IM you today from Brooklyn! I got locked out of my house.
ME: Oh, dude, no way! So, does being in Brooklyn change your perspective on politics? Do you feel more yuppified, or is that just Park Slope?
MOE: Um…primarily it changes the quantity of uppers I can access at this time. There is a coffee shop a few blocks down (I am not in Park Slope) but as for ADD drugs I am fuuuucked. Actually I should go check if there's like some coke somewhere or something. Even though a coke has less than one tenth the caffeine as a Starbucks, as I learned from the week's New York.
ME: Usually about halfway through Crappy Hour (except when I'm as hung over as I was yesterday), I'll get a craving for coffee and yet I am so committed to finishing that I never do anything about it until it's over.
MOE: Oh god Noonan today …can't disagree with her, am sure as hell not going to stir shit up by blockquoting her. Anyway she calls Hillary a bullet dodged.
ME: But at least she uses a nice picture!
MOE: Which is more than we can say for Peggy's publication!
ME: True. Also, I love that her basis for claiming that Hillary is a bullet dodged is that she's "drama."
Way to not play into any stereotypes about women that drive me crazy, Peggy.
MOE: Hahaa they just drive you crazy because you're a woman. So did you pay attention to this Air Force resignation thing? Because I keep forgetting to. What happened? (With apologies to Scott McClellan)
ME: Ha, ok, so, like this is a good but long piece. I'm pretty sure we discussed a while back how we mistakenly shipped some classified nuclear components to Taiwan? When they'd ordered, like, batteries. And then they opened the boxes and were all, dude, these aren't batteries! And we were all like, oh fuuuuuck.
Well, so, then, obviously we investigated. And it turns out that the one dude that got fired was also in the middle of some Thunderbird contracting scandal and, oh, that's right, at the same time, he was in charge when we "mistakenly" sent 2 nukes to Louisiana so the two top guys are both out on their asses and some more people will be in trouble later. But, yeah. Nukulr sekurti, we can haz it?
MOE: Okay, 1. How idiotic is this? I mean, what does a nuclear fuse actually look like? How big is it? How tough is this sort of thing to fuck up?
ME: They look like this, only with more nuclear-ness.
MOE: Oh, and that one dude = Chief of Staff Michael Moseley. God what an idiot.
ME: And it should be tough, but it apparently wasn't. And, yes. I think he is a whole toolbox.
MOE: Well, to be fair, you don't necessarily look at that and think, "wow, a nuke." Although i don't know what I would say it was. I would probably check before sending it to Louisiana. I have more trust for Taiwan.
ME: Especially when they'd ordered batteries.
I've never gone to the store to get batteries for my vibrator and mistakenly ended up with fuses of any variety. Counterfeit batteries that go dead in a day, sure, but never fuses.
MOE: Ooooh, oooooh, some good nuke news. Some international agency based in France just called for the construction of 1400 nuclear power plants over the next few decades. Pretty soon misguided fuses are just going to be part of everyday life. God I need coffee.
ME: 1400?? Where are they going to put 1400? Also, by the way, almost all of France's nuclear power plants are on the German border. Gotta love those prevailing Westerlies.
Oh, damn, Angry Johnny has reportedly definitively rules out running for VP.
MOE: I love how all these VP candidates act like it's their choice, they're the ones with some hard thinking to do. And…speaking of hard thinking, I'm…not sure what this David Brooks column about Abraham Lincoln taking mercury pills to ward off syphilis is trying to say to me.
Ah! We should have voted for Hillary.

All this suggests a maxim for us voters: Don’t only look to see which candidate has the most talent. Look for the one most emotionally gripped by his own failings.

ME: Wait, so, how did Lincoln supposedly get the dreaded syph? I find the whole thing confusing, but at least Brooks got this right:

Candidates get elected by telling people what they want to hear, leading them by using the sugar of their own fantasies.

MOE: Is he writing a book on Lincoln or something? Because, like, Obama and McCain have struggled refreshingly publicly, according to the books anyway, with their failings, what with McCain being like "Yeah I was an asshole to my first wife and I need to read more about the economy" and Obama being all "I was a bad husband and I smoked too much weed." I think we should just vote for the candidate who does, you know, not want to continue spying on us without a warrant or that sort of thing.
ME: Dude, Attackerman just made me watch this video of California Congressman Dana Rohrabacher ((R-Crazytown) talking about how putting women's underwear on Gitmo detainees heads isn't torture. Only he just keeps repeating the word "panties" well past the point of cringe-worthiness and into the realm of us wondering what exactly the Gentleman from California was wearing under his suit that day.
MOE: oooooh he's got an ambigunisex name too.
ME: I'll bet he has ambiguous sex, too. We already know he owns at least one wetsuit.
MOE: Do you love reading about Alaska? Do you sometimes forget it's a state? Can you tell me why a state would propose a $223 million bridge to between a town with a population of eight thousand and a town with a population of fifty when they don't even have a road connecting the state with its cultural and population center. Was Alaska in on the construction of the federal highway system? Was it even a state then? Have you ever been there? I had a boyfriend who grew up there once who had never heard of Three's Company. Aren't we so lucky to live in the era of the omnipresent wifi connection?
ME: Actually, I totally loved Alaska, I had to go on a business trip there a couple of years ago and my now-ex-bf came with and we took our only actual long vacation after it was over. They have a road to Juneau, it's just Juneau doesn't, like, have a road to Canada (i.e., "the rest of North America") but during the winter months I've heard the road between Anchorage and Juneau is pretty treacherous.
Anyway, Don Young is also an ass-grabber. He grabbed the ass of a junior colleague of a close friend during a fly-in while she and the folks she was with were all posing for pictures. He named the new highway bill after his wife (TEA-LU) because he could. And the bridge will apparently also incidentally financially benefit some people in his family and totally score him the 50 votes on that island.
MOE: What's the population of Juneau anyway?
ME: I appreciate that some Republicans, even if it is only the Club for Growth (now headed by former Congressman Pat Toomey of PA), are bothering to stand up to him. It's not standing up to Teddie Stevens, but it's close.
Population: just over 30,000.
MOE: jesus christ.
dude
ME: Hey, that's only slightly less than 4 times the size of the village I grew up in.
MOE: So… what do you make of the whole "takes a village" aphorism?
Oh also those French people say global warming is going to cost us 45 trillion dollars.
Just putting that out there
ME: Took a village to convince me I needed to get the fuck out of upstate NY.
MOE: the "Bridge To Nowhere" thing looks like a few grains of rice in comparison.

[Rome, May 26. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

Most of these articles show photos of smiling parents and their equally elated offspring and feature talk of shared chores and renewed family ties. What they don't show you is the messy reality of living with your parents when you're an adult, and I know about it — because I lived with my parents for four months after I graduated from college.

I was getting my MFA in creative writing and felt guilty and weird about my rent being paid by my parents, compounded with a fear of living with a Craigslist stranger after a previous bad experience. So I moved back home while attending classes. Nowhere in these articles is there a discussion about the horror of calling your mom to let her know you won't be coming home on a Thursday night because you're "sleeping at Anna's house," when really you're staying with a boy who is not your boyfriend. It's doubly demoralizing, because you're simultaneously regressing (telling the lie) and attempting to negotiate an adult situation (having a sex life).* For me, the reality of this constant negotiation between the childish and adult selves was exhausting, and I moved out as quickly as I possibly could. And it wasn't all smiles for my parents either — living with an oft-surly 22-year-old isn't really a boon to the household.

These sorts of articles bother me because they often make it seem like children are freeloaders and the doting parents are enabling their slackerdom, but I think in most situations, children live with their parents out of necessity, not out of desire, because really, the joy of being an adult is getting to eat ice cream for dinner at 10pm and not having to call your mom to tell her you won't be sitting down for chicken with the fam before you do it.

* Mom, I swear I really was at Anna's.

Twentysomething, College-Educated And Moving Back In [AP via Washington Post]
When 20-Somethings Move
Back Home, It Isn't All Bad [WSJ]
They Can Go Home Again [NYT — 2006]
For More People in 20's and 30's, Home Is Where The Parents Are [NYT — 2003]

Editor's note: Remember how I said I was going to watch every episode of 'Sex and the City' between April 1 and the May 23 premiere of the film? Well, for reasons of time, energy, and impending marriage, I didn't do it. What I did do, however, is pawn the task off on someone else: Emily Gould, Jezebel contributor and coiner of my favorite 'SATC'-related phrase, "Scary Sadshaws". Between today and Thursday, Emily will be watching all 94 episodes of the HBO series — that's 36 hours' worth! — and report back with her findings. A stunt? Yes. Insane? Probably. Wish her luck.

Last night, Anna and I were sitting in a chic little winebar in Queens sipping adorably-pink glasses of rosé when she announced that she had a present for me. The present was pink, too! And it came in a case made of sensuous faux-suede!

We marveled over its size and heft and giggled before I discreetly slipped it into my purse. On my way home, I had to wonder. Would I be able to handle it — all of it? I only had a few days, and it was so, so... BIG.

As you can tell, my brain has already been warped by this project. But over the next few days, I'll be soaking up all the pontification, all the scary reverse-aging, all the 90s eye makeup mysteries, all the saxophone solos ... God, the saxophone solos alone are going to drive me insane and I'm only on episode 2 ("Models and Mortals")!! What will happen to my brain? Well, I'll be keeping you updated. As a certain cigar-smoking, receding-hairlined lothario says in episode one, "What are you waiting for? Get in!"

Earlier: Maybe It's Time To Stop Hating On America's Scary Sadshaws

76% of American moms are still having sex 2-5 times a week, even with their babies bawling in the background. In addition, only 24% of women fantasize about fucking the delivery man. Slate's XX factor wonders if Cookie's upscale demographic is skewing the statistics towards cheating. Hanna Rosin describes the Marc Jacobs-obsessed six year olds featured in Cookie and posits, "A mom who sends her 6-year-old to school looking like an expensive hooker could certainly not be expected to put up with a little middle-aged husband paunch or to resist the come-on from the hot new Israeli gym teacher." Hahaha, what would the 1939 Marital Rating scale have to say about that?

1939 Marital Rating Scale For Wives [Boing Boing]
Are YOU Having An Affair? [Slate]
Sex And The American Mom Survey [AOL/Cookie]

Young, the author of the memoir How To Lose Friends and Alienate People, continues:

[In New York] Women are second-class citizens who are expected to use their youth and beauty as commodities in order to secure their economic wellbeing. Sex and the City is set in this world, but it conceals its brutality behind a veneer of cocktails and laughter. In reality, female friendship is the first thing to be sacrificed in the cut-throat competition for rich husbands. To my mind, Sex and the City is the equivalent of one of those Soviet propaganda films in which the factory workers are depicted as happy, singing citizens of tomorrow. The truth is that women like Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda are wretched, unhappy and isolated. The key to their survival is not the sisterhood, but a combination of slimming pills and anti-depressants.

So Did It Teach Us Anything That Came In Useful Along The Way? [Guardian]

Related: Sarah Jessica Parker On 'Sex And The City' [Premiere]
Sarah Jessica Parker Would Like A Few Words With Carrie Bradshaw [NY Mag]
'How To Lose Friends' & The NYC Media Dreamworld

WARNING: The following is a really, really gross story. It may even qualify as "beyond gross." It also: signifies nothing, gives you wayyyy too much information, and is told by a total idiot. Its sole redeeming trait is that it involves a scenario we've all feared before — the one where you get a tampon stuck up inside you for a treacherously, perilously long period of time — and it has a (marginally) happy ending. Read at your own risk, folks. I'll tell you if I get Toxic Shock Syndrome!

It was a beautiful week and a beautiful weekend. It was verdant, sun-dappled, horticulture-redolent, exfoliated, affluent, groomed, merry, relaxed, pressed, aspirational, and at its beginning,