Perhaps you are familiar with the holiday tradition of the advent calendar, with each new day until Christmas containing some sort of treat (or, if your parents were religious sticklers, a verse from the Book of Luke). But, of course, Jezebel is a palace of heresy, so instead we're presenting you with an advent…
We're all VERY excited about the Fifty Shades of Grey
Depending on what you are reading, Lamar Odom:
Supposedly Sons of Anarchy actor Charlie Hunnam is now Universal's first choice to play Christian Grey in Fifty Shades of Grey. Generally speaking, casting rumors are no fun — unless they involve a really hot person whose .gif you can blow up to four times its size and share on the Internet. You're welcome.
The first post-birth update about Kate Middleton and Prince William's Royal Spawn will be delivered via easel to Buckingham Palace, according to The Telegraph: "The first indication that the Duchess has given birth will come when an aide leaves the hospital carrying a piece of paper with details of the baby’s sex,…
Welcome to Friendzone, Jezebel's column devoted to dealing with the valuable people in your life who you're not humping. Got an issue and looking for guidance? Email friendzone@jezebel.com.
Want to write about someone taking a steamy dump on your chesticles? Well, you're in luck, because E.L. James is set to release a journal/how-to book that schools you in the fine art of leaving it all on the page. You'll scribble down the desires of your inner goddess in an instructional novela that's sure to set your…
So this is genuinely bizarre: Katie Couric and New York police commissioner Ray Kelly are investigating a series of 911 calls placed in the early hours of the morning—Tuesdays at 2 AM—from a number registered to Couric's dead husband Jay Monahan, who passed away of colon cancer in 1998. Because it is highly unlikely…
So, a 50 Shades of Grey porno
As far as I'm concerned, making a porn parody of 50 Shades of Grey seems kind of redundant (wouldn't you rather see something unexpected like Good Night and Good Fuck or Black Hawk Pants Down or I'm Argo-ing To Come All Over You?) but happened nevertheless: 50 Shades of Grey: The XXX Adaptation
As a woman, one tires of "woman things," that canon of superficial shit that all women supposedly go Pavlovially apeshit over: chocolate, high heels, designer purses, Sex and the City, white zinfandel, the oeuvre of Matthew McConaughey. Because...I'm a woman...and I don't like all of those things (chocolate and…
For months, lazy publicists and writers have been riffing off 50 Shades of Grey mania by pitching everything and anything Grey related, from sex toys to ties to nail polish. Perhaps Cosmopolitan for Latinas' Ariel Nagi deserves props for managing to combine lazy with offensive in her post, "50 Shades of Grey Sex -…
Just as the whole topless photo scandal and subsequent privacy lawsuits were beginning to fade into the ether, rumors surfaced this morning that a Danish tabloid called Se og Hør had published new bottomless shots of K8 Middleton during that same stint she and Prince William had sunning on the balcony of a secluded…
To the folks who have been screaming AHHHH YOU GAINED WEIGHT, WHAT ARE YOU, FATNESS EVERDEEN, Lady Gaga continues to level a resounding "Fuck yourself." Although the rumor out of Universal is that they had to order new, larger costumes for her, she told radio host Elvis Duran that she "doesn't feel bad about it. Not even…
Wearside Women In Need, a women's safehouse in the northeast part of the U.K., has announced that they will be organizing an en masse burning of E.L. James' titillating Ben-Wah ode 50 Shades of Grey. Also, it's Third Reich-era Germany, have you heard? However misguided it may be, Clare Phillipson, the plan's organizing …
50 Shades Of Grey, that frothy Cirque De Soleil wonderland triptych of mass-consumed erotica that the media immediately termed "Mommy porn" due to its suburban demographic, which I kind of hate—it's basically since expanded to "everyoneporn," or at least "everyone-skimmed-at-Barnes & Noble-porn"— seems to be the gift that…
Did you experience a sexual awakening while watching the scene in Disney's Aladdin when Iago the parrot keeps shoving crackers into the tied-up Sultan's mouth? Then, boy, do I have the audiobook for you.
The erotica spectacle known as the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy may be a hit with the ladies, but it's not so popular with the libraries. It turns out libraries in several states have pulled the books off their shelves or refused to stock them in the first place because they deem the work "too steamy or too poorly…
Consider SNL's parodic Amazon commercial a cautionary tale about bringing your mom breakfast in bed next Sunday — don't invade her private boudoir of onanism just to give her a platter of burned toast and orange juice from concentrate, because the half-hearted gesture won't erase a year's worth of filial apathy and…
True Blood actor and golden drip of Swedish honey Alexander Skarsgard has thrown his name in the ring for the role of Christian Grey in the recently greenlit film adaptation of E.L. James' erotic and elaborate Twilight tribute 50 Shades of Grey
E.L. James, British author of the dirty, dirty sadomasochistic sex book you wouldn't read aloud to your grandparents 50 Shades of Grey, embarked on her U.S. book tour today in Miami, the unofficial literary capital of North America. How exciting! If you don't already know all about James' erotic novel
You know, an Ellen narration might actually be the key to making it through the 528 pages of E.L. James' crayon-drawn erotic novel 50 Shades of Grey
We think E.L. James' 50 Shades of Grey is rather ridiculous
If you haven't heard
