I love when this subject comes up, all of the jezzie moms make babies sound like a hybrid of the Golgothan shit demon and Regan from The Exorcist. #poopexplosion
My son had explosive poop for most of his first year and once shot it across the room. It was like stepping on a giant tube of toothpaste. My husband wasn't quick enough with the change and I was cleaning it off the walls. Can you handle that, Babyloves? #poopexplosion
@artyfarty: Littler timebomb had an incident like that once, only I was standing in the path. This is how I know what unconditional love is. It's cleaning up the baby and getting her squared away before you run screaming to the shower. #poopexplosion
@Little Time Bomb: Yes, this. I had a barfing episode last weekend and had to comfort my puke covered child before I could hose him down. It took everything I had to not add to the mess myself.
I will remind him of this when I am old and he has to wipe me. #poopexplosion
@artyfarty: Why wait, remind him of it in front of his first date when they come over for dinner. Perhaps illustrate with a photo album while he squirms on the couch? #poopexplosion
Oh man. I've experienced the fallout of more than a few explosions, and I can say for sure that no diaper is tough enough to withstand such force. I mean really. If something is expelled with so much sudden propulsion that it travels any path it possibly can, nothing, but nothing, is going to hold it in one place. Hence the up-the-back poop-splosion. I don't care if you wrapped the kid in Saran or whatever. That poop is escaping by any means necessary and it is absolutely going to get everywhere. And it'll probably be yellow, too. #poopexplosion
@Aesop's Foibles. YES.: I've found cloth diapers to be AMAZING when it comes to containing poo explosions. Seriously, AMAZING. Something about the "real" elastic works much better than anything else. #poopexplosion
A co-worker confessed that she keeps a pair of scissors in her child's dresser for when she has to just cut the clothing off of her and throw it away. Her kid has digestive issues. #poopexplosion
A friend of mine refers to her baby's poop explosions as WMDs. I never quite understood that until I visited her one day and experienced an attack for myself.
The accuracy of that description is now undisputed. #poopexplosion
One of my best friends, and the first to have a (surprise) baby had this experience that may put me off of kids for life.
We went over for dinner at her place and she had had her baby in a little chair thing on the kitchen counter while she was cooking. She said she got this look on her face like she was taking a dump, but she fucking pooped so much that it squirted out the top of her little onesie. She was covered in shit.
@Penny: Luckily, they stop pooping out of their onesies (for the most part) after they start some solids. Unless you get a poo-smearer, then you're shit out of luck. All bets are off; the poo could end up anywhere.
Those bouncy chair things are shit magnets. #poopexplosion
@GirlFailer: I laughed entirely too loudly at "shit out of luck." It's even more awesome because I'm in the library, right near the reference desk. #poopexplosion
@cantankasaurus rex: Our kid prefers his exersaucer. We've had to take the whole thing apart to clean it at least four times. One minute, happy kid; next minute, happy kid tap-dancing in a puddle of his own poo. #poopexplosion
11/12/09
11/12/09
11/12/09
11/12/09
I will remind him of this when I am old and he has to wipe me. #poopexplosion
11/12/09
11/12/09
11/12/09
11/12/09
11/12/09
11/12/09
11/12/09
11/12/09
11/12/09
11/12/09
11/12/09
11/12/09
The accuracy of that description is now undisputed. #poopexplosion
11/12/09
11/12/09
11/12/09
maybe because it was longer than the column width since it was connected with dashes? #poopexplosion
11/12/09
11/12/09
11/12/09
We went over for dinner at her place and she had had her baby in a little chair thing on the kitchen counter while she was cooking. She said she got this look on her face like she was taking a dump, but she fucking pooped so much that it squirted out the top of her little onesie. She was covered in shit.
Gah. #poopexplosion
11/12/09
Those bouncy chair things are shit magnets. #poopexplosion
11/12/09
11/12/09
11/12/09
11/12/09
11/12/09
11/12/09