Dress1
The first was from Urban Outfitters. I bought it the August before my freshman year of college: a synthetic black party dress with a vaguely '70s cut, sweetheart neck and an attached Lycra underdress. The moment I put The Dress on, I saw in the mirror the college woman I wanted to be: not the nerdy, frowsy frump who'd been ignored by a high school crush and shopped for clothes with my mom at the local Salvation Army, but a sophisticated woman of the world with a vaguely curvaceous figure. I first wore The Dress to a New York event for entering students, and as I donned it I donned too the new persona: confident and assured. I wore The Dress every chance I got. I am convinced The Dress netted me a boyfriend. I wore it to parties and lectures, in New York and Chicago, whenever I needed to feel pretty or adult or confident. Being cheap, the dress quickly showed the effects of this wear and before long its sleek lines were marred by the lumpy proof of my inexpert repairs. But its magic remained undimmed. Then, one day when I was 21, I lost the dress. I don't know how, or where, except that it was somewhere in London. But The Dress's work was done, and it had disappeared, never to be seen again.

Dress 2
It was three years before I found The Dress's heir apparent. Dress2 was a more sophisticated affair altogether; in fact, it was the most expensive single piece of clothing I'd ever owned. It was brown wool, severely tailored, with a tulip skirt that clung and then flared, and a high neckline saved from dowdiness by a keyhole and a series of gold buttons at neck and wrist. I coveted Dress2 for months before saving up enough to buy it on sale. Dress2 entered my life around the time I took an office job, and it seemed to me the perfect uniform for an efficient and asexual Girl Friday. Dress2 became my trademark around the office, and lent itself to the slightly arcane wisecracking patois I favored at that period. My boyfriend was out of the country that year, and I liked that the dress signaled that I was independent and unavailable. Dress2 made me feel like a million bucks. Then one day my boss showed up at work. "I have a new dress," she said casually, and removed her coat to reveal - Dress2. Albeit on a taller and altogether more stunning frame. I was dumbfounded and hurt. I retired Dress2 and got another job. In due course, Dress2 also disappeared. In a move, perhaps? I combed my apartment for weeks hoping it might turn up, but its work, too, was done.

Dress 3
Dress3 came into my life at an especially low point. For the past few months I'd been nursing a badly broken heart. I was scrawny and ill-groomed. For my birthday, the owner of the clothing shop where I worked gave me Dress3. I'd been coveting it for months, but broke from getting my own place, I'd been unable to do more than gaze at it longingly. When I opened the box and saw Dress3 staring up at me, tears came to my eyes. It was the beginning of a new era. Dress3 is the most utilitarian of the three. It's a denim shirtwaist dress with a faint primary-colored check and a sash. Dress3 is a sleeper: you don't notice it, just the woman beneath. When I first got it, I wore it everywhere, at least three days a week. When I started dating, I wore it for dates. I was wearing it when I ran into my ex and his new girlfriend. I was wearing it when I had my first kiss with the guy to whom I'm now engaged. And when I met his family. It's getting worn around the edges now, but I still reach for it whenever I need to feel confident or need an outfit that expresses just who I am, right now. I fear that one day soon Dress3 is going to disappear, which is part of the reason I've done the unprecedented and taken its picture for posterity. (It is pictured above.) That said, I'm keeping a close eye on it.

(Click on any image to begin gallery view)

This dress seems all kinds of cruel. What's with the random pintucks in the skirt? And why must the bow look so cheap?
I'm typically pro the cocktail-length wedding dress. But not if it comes with a bolero like this.
I swear there is no difference between this dress and ones you'll find in fancy wedding stores. It's not my taste, but it's a look a lotta ladies seem to love.
This dress fuckin' rocks. To the max!
Slightly "maternity" and you would need a really good bra, but has potential.
No: Putting a friend in this as a bridesmaid dress is a Crime Against Womanity.

Torrid Announces Plus-Size Bridal Collection [The Budget Fashionista]
Torrid Bride [Torrid]

• Stella McCartney calls dibs on bride-to-be Scarlett Johansson: "I'm definitely doing her wedding dress. She doesn't know it yet." Awkward. [People]
  
• Says Marc Jacobs on the bride-to-be, "I'm really happy for her. She's a great girl. I just think Scarlett is great and I hope she is very, very happy. She's super funny. I love a smart, ballsy, New Yorker and that's what she is. I wish her the best." And by "the best" he clearly means, "Do why didn't that bitch ask me to design her wedding dress?" [Vogue UK]
  
• Chris "Mr. Big" Noth has some strong feelings about Victoria's Secret, "I'm not into Victoria's Secret so much. I find it over the top. I like subtlety and I like elegance. I think their things are gaudy and they are really trying too hard. If I could make a fashion statement, I think that Victoria's Secret looks to me like somebody who is putting on too much make-up. It's too gaudy, man. I mean, come on take it easy, you don't have to have a fuckin' bouquet of flowers on your underwear. Sorry Victoria's Secret; I hope they're not one of our sponsors!" [Oh No They Didn't]
  
• "You can get diamonds cheap," says Heidi Klum, which is why she's going to start sewing them into the pockets of her Jordache jeans line. Clearly, she has not seen Blood Diamond. [WWD, 9th item]

• Good for you, Adidas, for winning your lawsuit against Payless shoes for their blasphemous thievery of what is clearly a design that only you own: Stripes. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Seriously, Suri Cruise does not need custom-made Roger Vivier shoes. I, however, do. [WWD, 1st item]
• So what did More editor-in-chief Lesley Jane Seymour do Monday night in lieu of attending the Met Costume Institute Gala? (She wasn't invited.) "I dressed up in my best Versace and barbecued on the my outside deck in the suburbs! Only kidding about the Versace! I wore Prada." [Fashion Week Daily]
• Oh also, Christina Ricci left the Costume Institute Gala in a huff after realizing upon entering that she and her boyfriend had not been seated together. [Page Six]
• If only I had been trapped in an elevator with Giorgio Armani yesterday. [Wowowow]
• So Gwyneth Paltrow is all, "I don't get why there's this big fuss about my S&M footwear fetish." [USA Today]
• Video footage of Gemma Ward trying to slay Liv Tyler: Here. [Fashionista]
• Video footage of Karlie Kloss doing ballet: Here. [NY Mag]
• Model and sometimes di Caprio girlfriend Bar Rafaeli sorta needs to pony up and serve in the Israeli Army already. [UPI]
• Oh of course Jimmy Choo is trying to usurp as much press and glory as they can from the opening of the Sex and the City movie. [Vogue UK]
• Ksube + Kanye = Pretty cool. [Sassybella]
• Diet Coke + Patricia Field = Pretty random. [Sassybella]
• OMG why did The Sartorialist get fired from the new Gap ads as a model already?! Why?! Why?! [Fashionista]
• Beth Ditto will be entertaining guests at the opening of the Alexander McQueen store in L.A. next week. [Fashion Week Daily]
• In the midst of economic downturn Barneys New York and Target seem to be entering into one of those "I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship" sorta things. [WWD, sub req'd]
• And young design bad-ass Danielle Scutt is designing for Topshop. Seeing a theme here? [WWD, 8th item]
• The Turks? Love them some Dior. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Just what you needed: How to dress like celebrities, made easy. And a little stalker-ish. [TechCrunch]

Tricia Walsh-Smith to Move to 'Real Housewives'? [NY Mag]

L to R: If I got married, I would want to do so in shoes like those; Can we discuss the big hat trend for bridal this season?; Fuck getting married: I want that teal duster and turban stat.
L to R: That dress weighs more than I do; I'll pass on the gown but take the pink tights; Doesn't this look like the dress that Kit and Ricky made for the couture challenge on this season's Project Runway? You know - the one Kit got sent home for?
L to R: Puppy!; Where's the wedding, the Moulin Rouge?; I wish the handprint were on the dress itself.
L to R: Pom-poms were my crafting means de rigeur when I was 5, which was also the age I was into Raggedy Ann; More wedding pants?!; I don't know that I think of this.
You can't see, but my heart is going pitter patter at the site of rainbow-colored, whimsy-drenched bridal.
I hope the woman who gets married in this dress also has "Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters" as her first dance. Seriously.

Final Verdict: If your marriage falls apart, at least you can reuse the dress and run away and join the circus!

All images via Getty.

Verdict: Row 4, dress 1. That one is beautiful. The rest...well, my mom always told me if I didn't have anything nice to say...

Angel Sanchez Verdict: Yawn.

Lara Helene



Verdict: Sorry, were you saying something?

All images via Getty

Lela Rose


Verdict: Sleepy, wrinkled. No thanks.

Oscar de la Renta










Verdict: Something for everyone (including those with bad taste). I'll stick with the simple stuff (for my non-existent wedding), thanks.

Carolina Herrera







Verdict: Ladylike and rebellious... Just like us?

[Images via Getty.]

Badgley Mischka

L to R: Um did they hem this dress a little short?; Look! The gown hurts her heart so badly she has to grab her sides!; Wedding dress? Or New Age straight-jacket?

L to R: How original; Bling, anyone?; Where's Rami Kashou when you need him?

L to R: If George Clooney marries that cocktail waitress, I bet she'll wear this; No more mermaid silhouettes, please; Just say no to tiers.

L to R: Just painful; No more shiny, please; For the pregnant bride, clearly.

L to R: That has to be the tackiest neckline ever; Stop! The originality is killing me! Sparkly and a mermaid silhouette!

Monique Lhuillier

L to R: Perfet for Romeo's Juliette — who was supposed to be what? 13 years old?; Ruffle booty!; Someone free her boobies, please.

L to R: And Prada thinks they own the whole lace thing this season; Lo. Li. Ta: Light of my life, fire of my loins; Has this girl even hit puberty?

L to R: Why is there something a little good touch/bad touch about this?; Tyra calls this the "couture pose"; The bride is the age of a flower girl.

[Images via Getty.]

• Luke Wilson is "designing" a line of golf products and accessories for Puma. Ah, the insatiable American hunger for the consumption of stuff and celebrity! Or the perception of the insatiability, or whatever. [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Speaking of! Rod Stewart is launching a clothing line. [Guardian]
  
• Donna Karan is doing Passover with Demi and Ashton in Miami. [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• Really, how much longer can Christian Siriano hold congratulatory celebrations for himself? [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• Elle Macpherson is the latest face of Revlon. [WWD, sub req'd]

• English girl designers Georgina Chapman and Keren Craig are adding a bridal collection for their label, Marchesa, to debut next month. Chapman made herself not one but two wedding dresses for her recent nuptials to Harvey Weinstein, so she's totally qualified, btw. [WWD, 1st item]
• Marc Jacobs is already fighting with his new boyfriend, Austin A. Also: partying in sweatpants and wife-beaters.[Page Six]
• Mary J. Blige is taking sellers of knockoff Mary J. Blige concert tees to court. [Page Six]
• George Clooney may not be doing his own clothing line, but he does wear Belstaff in his upcoming film Leatherheads and the Italian label is sponsoring the film's European premiere. [Vogue UK]
• Steve McQueen also did not do his own clothing line. Though we think the fact that he's dead should have been evidence enough. [Reuters]
• Israeli fashion is apparently on the rise. I am going to be polite here and pretend like the words "Israeli style" don't actually evoke any sort of mental image for me because I love my people. But. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Jean-Paul Gaultier: Dressing Kylie Minogue for her upcoming tour. [WWD, 3rd item]
• Azzedine Alaia just received a French Legion of Honor. Who? What? [WWD, 1st item]
• Tom Ford has designs on Japan. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Stella McCartney is heading to India. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Agyness Deyn continues to find work. [The Sun UK]
• Drinking this water will apparently magically protect your skin from UV rays; LOL. [Chic Report]
• O.C. alum Samaire Armstrong: has a clothing line too. [Sassybella]
• How to recycle your clothing! [Utne]

Ariel: Verdict: Wow. They're all sea-colored. Deep.

Belle: Verdict: At least one is yellow like the dress Belle danced with the Beast in.

Cinderella: Verdict: Perfect for wicked stepsisters.

Jasmine: Verdict: Just me, or does this model sorta look like Atoosa Rubenstein?

Sleeping Beauty: Verdict: But no way in hell would the 'Toos wear one of these short flouncy things. Maybe the long black one though? She does have a goth side.

Snow White: Verdict: Oh now I remember: Hair as black as coal, lips as red as cherries, skin as white as snow.

Earlier: Disney Bridal: For The Fairy Princess In None Of Us

Related: Gal Who Proposed In Daily News Gets Big "Yes" From Her Guy [NY Daily News]

• 1. Vera Wang: All I can think of when I see this is Chris and Christian (aka Team Fierce's) "avant-garde" look from Project Runway two weeks ago. It's way too trendy for Jenna and a Texas country wedding. This is a Southern sorority girl we're talking about, here.
  
• 2. J. Mendel: This tiered look screams "I'm pregnant and don't want daddy to know"!
  
• 3. Arnold Scaasi: Could this dress be any more old-school? Whatever Laura wore to marry Georgie Porgy probably looked a whole lot like this. (It's probably what his Barbara wore in her wedding to George, Sr. too.) Jenna may be a Republican, but she's not old. She needs contemporary conservative. Not to be confused, of course, with "compassionate conservative".
  
• 4. Carlos Miele: I can imagine Jenna in something like this; the strapless look is so traditional, and the bottom is full without being princess-y. (Jenna did teach children in South America; she's of the people!) One problem: Jenna's figure can come across as a little square, and this dress may not play up her curves.
  
• 5. Amsale: The girl can drink her Secret Service detail under the table. No way in hell is she going to wear a dress strewn with flowers.
  
• 6. Carmen Marc Valvo: Ooh, cool and modern without trying too hard; no avant-garde aspirations. Just stylish. And thus, possibly too good for Jenna. (See: Southern sorority girl, drinks like a fish, above.)
  
• 7. Angel Sanchez: Interesting detailing in the front, but those spaghetti straps won't be doing Jenna any favors. Pass.
  
• 8. Badgley Mischka: We have a winner! This dress has traditional styling, old-school glamour, romance, and class. And the White House can use all the class it can spin.
  
• 9. Nicole Miller: The bustle in the back, draping across the front, and underlayers peeking out look old-fashioned, but not in a cool, vintage way. Too dated for an all-American party girl.
  
• 10. Lela Rose: The scoop neck is unexpected and modern, but it just might be a little too fashion-forward for the stiff-necked blueblood Bush clan.
  11. Marc Bouwer: This shape might have looked good when Audrey Hepburn played Eliza Doolittle, but Jenna Bush, my friends, is no Audrey Hepburn. (Or John Kennedy.)
  
• 12. Oscar de la Renta: Strikingly similar to the Badgley Mischka gown, this one is a teensy bit more sophisticated. And Jenna Bush just doesn't scream "sophistication."

• Tyra Banks is taken seriously enough by this country to host Presidential candidates.
  
• But Anna Wintour is not! Also, Tyra would totally win in a cage match.
  
• A photo agency posted pictures of Britney's menses, and we wondered if the paparazzi have gone too far.
  
• They've gone so far that non-celebrities like Heidi Montag grace the covers of multiple magazines, talking about her boob job.
  
• Then we got you to tell us about your implants, which were 10 times more interesting than Heidi's.
  
• But still not as entertaining as Slut Machine's queefs.
  
• Or her long weekend in Vegas!
  
• Or Judy Blume's awesome book containing a ton of embarrassing erections, Then Again, Maybe I Won't.
  
• You know what was also entertaining? When Diane Keaton said the F-word on national television.
  
• So grab some Rachael Ray endorsed Dunkin' Donuts coffee, crack open a bag of dainty 100 calorie snacks, and go watch the darling Katie Heigl in the resoundingly shitty 27 Dresses. You're worth it!

It's not that [27 Dresses] is cynical; it's that all the chick-flick trappings — the fashion, the wedding chitchat, the masochistic one-way crush — drive the story rather than the other way around. 27 Dresses is a movie geared to a pitch of high matrimonial-princess fever. It's white-lace porn for girls of every age, and the way that it revels in that get-me-to-the-altar mood, to the point of making anyone who isn't getting married feel like a loser, is the picture's key selling point...Even the satire of the wedding industry plays like a backhanded endorsement of it.

Anyone who has seen a chick flick knows what is going to happen next, and next, and next... But there just isn't enough story here to justify a 107-minute running time, no matter how many montages debuting director Anne Fletcher whips up. Heigl, who demonstrates her gift for physical comedy, has complained in interviews about the sexist tone of "Knocked Up." But what happens when she teams up with a woman director and screenwriter? You get "27 Dresses," which delivers that great feminist message: A woman's life is meaningless without marriage.

[D]irector Anne Fletcher... makes the reasonably insightful, moderately funny point that modern American weddings, however they may strain for individuality and specialness, are all pretty much alike. The problem is that much the same could be said about modern American romantic comedies...The best thing about "27 Dresses," which was written by Aline Brosh McKenna...is that the Guys are not really the point. Or rather, if getting the Right one is the point of the story, the spark of comedy is carried by the women in the picture. Too bad it's such a dim spark.

There is a movie to be made from that shared humiliation — actually, there are many, and they already litter the shelves of Blockbuster. So at this point, the question is whether "27 Dresses" has anything new to add. And the answer is a resounding no...

Heigl is terrific, this uninspired romantic comedy is considerably less so. A tired pastiche of the 27-odd wedding-themed vehicles that preceded it, the film essentially slaps together all the stuff that worked so well the first or second time around, minus any of the original charm or verve. That it manages to function at all is mainly Heigl's doing...

"27 Dresses" is a romantic comedy in which nothing the least bit surprising occurs, no disagreement or estrangement seems sufficiently serious to persist, and no one behaves in a manner that cannot be predicted by anyone who has seen more than two or three other romantic comedies.

"27 Dresses"... sags like a day-old bouquet... when Jane's supermodel little sister Tess (Malin Akerman) shows up, throwing an extroverted, platinum-blond spanner into the already shaky works. It's at this point that "27 Dresses" becomes a movie not about people or relationships, but about cute apartments and cuter outfits...There is not one surprising, charming or endearingly quirky thing about "27 Dresses," which hews to the rom-com formula with bland, regimented precision. This is a movie that actually invokes the term "Bridezilla" as if it's a brand-new idea instead of a ready-for-retirement cliche.

Katherine Heigl is amiable, pleasant to look at, and has comic ability, and so on that basis "27 Dresses" is almost satisfying. In a romantic comedy, half the ballgame is the charm of the lead actress, and it's no strain to spend 107 minutes in Heigl's company. But then there's the other half of the ballgame - things like story and having characters that make sense and a resolution that's satisfying and a script that avoids cheap sentimentality. On those points, "27 Dresses" collapses. Actually, it collapses in slow motion. It gets worse and worse as it goes along and finally ends just as it's becoming unbearable.

If only it didn't have that unconvincing, sub-par sub-plot, which trots out blah characters and weak twists that include, I'm not kidding, vacuum-cleaning. I understand why the script gives Jane an obnoxious twiggy sister (Malin Akerman) and a dreamboat boss (Edward Burns), and I understand why it throws them together. But Burns looks bored. To death. I'm really worried about him.

"27 Dresses" is so chock full of romantic-comedy cliches, it almost plays like a parody. (It might be fun, though, if they handed out lists at the multiplex door to allow you to check them off as you go along — could be an interactive thing. You know, to help pass the time.)

It's an uninspired romantic comedy that adheres slavishly to the conventions of the genre. But the movie is made pleasant by the likability of its star, Katherine Heigl, and her chemistry with the affable James Marsden. Certainly Heigl fares better in less formulaic fare, such as Judd Apatow's irreverent Knocked Up, but she does raise the level of this chick flick from bland to mildly entertaining.

Earlier: Now That Her Paycheck Has Cleared, Katherine Heigl Calls Knocked Up Sexist

Poetry Of Sappho [Isle Of Lesbos]

Though James Mischka of Badgley Mischka insists that "trends today are much kinder to the bridesmaids than they ever were before" and Mark Badgley backs him up by saying, "The look these days is much more casual," I don't believe it at all. (Seriously, have you checked out bridal "guru" Vera Wang's latest maids' concoctions? I threw up a little in my mouth just looking!) Most brides are still shoving their so-called best-friends in pastel confections that you would not wish upon your worst, ugliest enemy. Tom Nardone, the founder of Uglydress.com, points out that, in their state of nuptial-planning hysteria, "Brides will choose a dress the same way they choose the cake, the chair covers and, especially, the flowers. That's why you get necklines that match the contours of the calla lilies."

Some say, that, when it comes to bridesmaid garb, times are changing — "Girls...want more fashion-forward looks," says Francesca Pitera, the chief designer for Jim Hjelm, a New York bridal house — but I can't help but think this is just another version of the same problem. Ok, fine: Maybe you don't have to wear a baby blue damask silk gown which hangs at the natural waist and has crepe flowers blooming out of the shoulders, but are you really going to feel much better when you see yourself in a picture of the bridal party in 20 years time, bedecked in a burnt-orange baby doll dress? Or a royal purple bubble hem? Because while fashion will always yield cringe-inducing trends laughed at in personal snapshots and such, bridal-party wear is well-documented enough that everyone and their mother gets to have a laugh.

27 Dresses: A Costume Designer's Dream [Reuters]
The Bride Made Me Buy This [NY Times]

While there may be some truth to Heigl's complaint that Knocked Up "Paints the women as shrews, as humorless and uptight, and it paints the men as lovable, goofy, fun-loving guys," it also raised her tinsel town profile by leaps and bounds: she's now making $6 mil a picture and starring in big budget studio films like 27 Dresses. Speaking of which, can Katherine really be that concerned with perpetuating stereotypes of women when she's starring in a movie with the tagline, "This January, always a bridesmaid, never a bride"? To portray women as marriage-obsessed isn't sexist at all, right Katie?

Heigl Knocks 'Knocked' [New York Post]
Heigl Voltage [Vanity Fair]

Earlier: Didn't Like Knocked Up? Screw You
What To Expect When You're Expecting Too Much From A Movie
The Celebrity Sartorial Health Care Complex

Mistake 1:

You can't beat the singles blues so you are a bit depressed. Why a mistake? You should be happy and optimistic to have such a great opportunity to meet men.

Mistake 2:

You don't come alone to the wedding and you talk to other girls at the wedding and reception. Why a mistake? Single guys can't approach you. Guys can approach you more easily if you are alone, so talk to men or be alone.

Mistake 3:

You wear a bra. You don't dress sexy. Why a mistake? Guys are sexual so you should be sexy to attract attention. Men love to look at and are attracted to nipples and jiggling breasts (also, it's sexy).

Mistake 4:

When guests have a chance to say something to the couple at the reception, you pass. Why a mistake? Speak and show how funny and beautiful you are.

Mistake 5:

You don't drink at the reception. Why a mistake? It's okay to be a bit tipsy at the reception (be careful: just a "bit"), then to be a little flamboyant while dancing.

Mistake 6:

You drink too much, get drunk, and start a striptease on the dance floor. Why a mistake? You don't act with a sense of class and femininity. You attract plenty of men, but no Good Men. Good Men are attracted to classy and feminine women.

Mistake 7:

You eat like a pig at the reception (wrong animal). Why a mistake? Always eat like a bird (right animal) when you want men to notice you.

Mistake 8:

You sit at a table and you dance infrequently at the reception. Why a mistake? Men can get to you more easily and you're more visible if you stand, preferably near the dance floor. Dance with anyone who asks you, so that all the men see you out on the dance floor, laughing, having fun, and being happy with all of the men you dance with.

Mistake 9:

You drive your car to the wedding, instead of getting a ride. Why a mistake? You can't accept a ride home with some hot-looking Good Man.

Mistake 10:

You get in an argument with your boyfriend who hasn't proposed yet, asking him when he will be ready to commit. Why a mistake? You should have come alone to the wedding. Your boyfriend you think is the love of your life is not in love with you enough to marry you.

"Congratulations on Your Wedding; I Hate You!": The Top 10 Mistakes Single Women Make At Weddings [PRWeb]

So I kept eating. And eating. And eating. No jean zipper to worry about. No stomach to stick out. No problem. Wearing this dress, I ate about 2,000 calories more than I normally would.

Right. This makes so much sense. It's sort of like when you don't wear underwear you can't help but piss all over the house and try to fuck everyone you meet. Except, you know, we don't actually have that problem. We like babydoll dresses because they are comfy, unslutty and they remind us of a time when commercial radio was good and we did not know there was such a place as the "Hamptons."

Baby Blues [NY Post]

...they're all on the same tall, skinny model!

Lucky
Related: Swimsuit Makeovers! [Glamour]

• Karl Lagerfeld has commissioned 15 contemporary artists to create works inspired by his iconic quilted Chanel bag for a two-year touring exhibit. Kind of interesting how iconic handbags are like the Virgin Mary of now. Maybe in twenty years people will be seeing Hermes Birkin bags in their grilled cheese sandwiches and selling them on eBay. [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• The dress will remain the dominant fashion trend through Spring 2008, according to the owner of luxury retailer Louis Boston, who makes some weird reference to American global hegemony. [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Dooney & Bourke releases a line of bags named for Emma Roberts (Julia's niece and current star of "Nancy Drew"), with prices ranging from $210 to $235. Remember how when you were reading Nancy Drew, you thought $215 was like, enough to buy a house? Ah, kids today! [WWD, 1st item]
  
• It's a boy for supermodel Eva Herzigova and her Italian businessman common law husband. Remember how she did all those Wonderbra ads, haha? Lactation jokes never get old! [Vogue UK]
  
• Fashion muse Isabella Blow's widower Detmar hopes to create a museum to house his late wife's extensive clothing collection, is "hoping all the people she helped in her life will cough up some money to get this up and running." Ooh, subtle! [Vogue UK]
  
• Why should European luxury brands expand in China and India when there are still soooo many [brace yourselves! Fave word alert!] aspirational middle Americans stuck with Coach? [Fashion Inc.]

The thing is, the one website referenced by the Times article, TrashTheDress.com, seems to have a different take on the TTD trend. In fact, the website's manifesto implies that TTD is less about iconoclasm and more about brides stroking the egos of their brand-new husbands!

You've made a commitment to your husband. He's your one and only true love, right? Then you'll never need the dress again. And no, your daughter won't wear it in 20-30 years. So you have two choices: 1) Suffocate it in plastic and throw it in a closet, 2) Show your husband how committed you are by trashing the dress, and get some great fun pictures while you do it!

Make A Bumwad Wedding-Dress, Win $500 [BoingBoing]
A Wedding Dress You Can Flush Down The Toilet [SuzeOnStyle]
Earlier: The Economics Of Weddings Continue To Blow Our Minds

[Image via Splash]

Please keep in mind:
1. Moe is single
2. Moe's hot ex-boyfriend will be there
3. Moe is not really interested in adding to her "list"
4. Moe does not tan
5. We mean, not even a little
6. Moe could Mystic tan, if it was worth it
7. Moe only wears black and gray and thereby stands no chance of wearing any of these dresses ever again.
8. Moe leans toward the slutty one, but what's with the sash?

Real Life Weddings [People.com]
Earlier: Time Inc. To Cut 100 More Jobs as It Focuses On Web Business [New York Times]

Disney's new princess dresses aren't just for grown-up gals; this October, you'll be able to put your aspiring Jon Benet in one too! [Orlando Sentinel, via BoingBoing]

1 in 4 women ages 18-59 is infected with HPV. [NY Times]

Hell on wheels: right-to-lifers staking out abortion-providing clinics in R.V.'s equipped with sonograms — the better to shame pregnant women with images of their "babies". [Salon]

Bargains include 40% off this Cynthia Steffe Pintuck Dress

30% off this leather Kate Spade maddox tote:

And 33% off these Stuart Weitzman 'Itgirl' sandals:

And while you're there, don't forget that blind senile 88-year-old aunt of yours: