Rick Santorum's Campaign Was So Unbelievably Bad

After several months of fruitless fighting and terrifying campaigning, America's gentle, besweatered hatemonger Rick Santorum has announced he's aborting his bid for President. It seems the best way to deal with the Santorum campaign in death is the way we dealt with it in life: like it was all one terrible, drawn-out… »4/10/12 3:40pm4/10/12 3:40pm


Michele Bachmann Earnestly Promotes Awareness of Michele Bachmann

Can space cadet Michele Bachmann provide any intergalactic insight into the Herman Cain scandal? Yeah, no — that hope is futile. In her most recent appearance, she not only successfully avoided answering any questions, but she also managed to prevent her face from contorting into an expression of primal rage and… »11/04/11 11:20am11/04/11 11:20am

Michele Bachmann Would Be A Great President In The Imaginary World She Made Up

Presidential candidate, vaccination expert, and executive level fearmonger Michele Bachmann has impressed many during this primary season with her public poise, debate sharpness, and seeming command of facts. Unfortunately, the facts that Michele Bachmann commands are made up facts from Planet Whackadoo that aren't… »10/24/11 2:40pm10/24/11 2:40pm