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Both Campaigns Want Tonight's Female Presidential Debate Moderator to Shut the Hell Up

DNC Chair Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz reassured the public on Monday that she was pretty sure that during the Presidential debate on Tuesday, the candidates wouldn't forget to talk about women like they did last time. I mean, it's a town hall debate format, so audience members get to ask the questions. Surely one…

Mitt Romney's Cokeface, and Other Interesting Moments From Last Night's Boring Ass Debate

Last night, President Obama and Mitt Romney faced off in Denver, in what will likely go down in history as some of the most boring 90 minutes in the history of American television. It was scoreless high school soccer game boring. It was oil change repair shop vintage issue of Reader's Digest with country sensation…

Wives of Presidential Candidates Are More Electable Than Actual Presidential Candidates

Last night, First Lady Michelle Obama blew everyone's hair back at the Democratic National Convention with a speech that pundits called "history-changing," and "dominating." The First Lady didn't come out swinging, she didn't go too deeply into policy, she spoke directly to the American people and vouched for her…

Having a Baby Out of Wedlock Kind of Like Getting Pregnant from Rape, Says Senate Candidate

Tom Smith, a Republican Senate candidate from Pennsylvania, could not believe his girl-power feminist ears last Sunday when he heard that Missouri Senate candidate Todd Akin said that it was impossible for a woman to get pregnant from rape. Women totally can get pregnant from rape, said the esteemed thought leader,…