Black Narcissus - How did I live 27 years without having seen Black Narcissus, one of the weirdest, most awesome things I've ever experienced? Shamelessly unconvincing casting aside (Jean Simmons may be many things; South Asian is not one of them) I have never enjoyed every trippy, compelling, overwraught moment of a movie more.


Nature Valley Fruit Bars: Cheap and delicious! These have totally changed my way of doing business.


Song: "Rut And Nuzzle"
Artist: Snowblink
Album: Long Live. Just an unbelievably beautiful song for happy and melancholy moments. Bonus: actually from this year.



Carrying a Pocket Knife: It took me a while to get into this. But since I started, I have cut a crazy amount of branches and flowers from local parks, several of which I'm currently forcing.



Meals on Wheels phone call program: If you don't have the time or the means to do the Meals on Wheels friendly visiting program, this is a terrific way to provide some companionship: just a 20-minute phone call per week, at a scheduled time, to a homebound elderly person. NB: make sure you're in a good bar zone.


Gothic Romance: I am always on the lookout for new weirdness, so how had an entire genre of pulp fiction escaped my notice? Gothic romances - all the ones I've found are from the 60s - seem to be uniformly cockamamie, featuring implausible love interests and Scooby-Doo levels of suspense. Lately it's been hard to read anything else.


Song: Coming Up
Artist: Paul McCartney
Album: McCartney II. This is such a jam it's insane. I'm sure Pitchfork could liken it to 12 or so other things and then disparage it; it just makes me happy.


Using an old doorknob to weight a cookbook. This works really well; it's the closest I've ever gotten to ingenuity.





Words In Air: The Complete Correspondence Between Elizabeth Bishop and Robert Lowell. Even if you don't love letters or poetry, this is like a master class in writing, living, history, neuroses, small pleasures, literary friendship, what have you. It's truly a pleasurable read and I'm not just saying so.


Song:Banjoreno
Artist: Dixieland Jug Blowers
Album: Ruckus Juice & Chittlins Vol. 1. This is so much more haunting and stirring than you could possibly guess from anything about it.


The jewelry of Alexander Calder: there was a show of Calder's jewelry at the Met this year, and not only were the pieces completely sculptural and amazing and unwearable save for the pro eccentric, but the entire experience just made one want to be a mid-century bohemian living with a man who'd weld you up a unique gift at the drop of a hat.



Mixing Top Ramen with Soy Sauce and Peanut Butter: thank you, commenters, for this life-altering suggestion.


Song: Kurima
Artist: Chiwoniso
Album: Rebel Woman
Chiwoniso is a remarkable Zimbabwean singer; a friend put this on a mix for me and it's superb early-morning music. I mean, it's good generally, but good for starting the day in a hopeful frame of mind.



The Nutshell Studies of Unexplained Death. Here's Wikipedia:

Intricately designed dollhouse-style dioramas created by Frances Glessner Lee, a millionaire heiress with an interest in forensic science.She designed detailed - almost obsessive - scenarios, based on composites of real criminal acts, and presented them physically in miniature. Students were instructed to study the scene and draw conclusions from the evidence presented. Lee used her inheritance to set up Harvard's department of legal medicine, and donated the Nutshell dioramas in 1945 for use in her lectures on the subject of crime scene investigation. In 1966 the department was dissolved, and the dioramas went to the Maryland Medical Examiner’s Office; there, Harvard Magazine reports that they are still used for forensic seminars.

The book is amazing.





Edna Lewis' coffee:Edna Lewis, the iconic southern cooking writer who grew up in a town founded by freed slaves (her grandparents were founders), is infallible. I started making her kind of coffee when my French Press broke, and it's not only delicious, but super-useful for those rare occasions when one has a lot of coffee but no apparati. NB: I just use one kind of cafe, and Bustela at that, with no ill effects.
1⁄2 lb. Colombian coffee, ground
1⁄2 lb. Java coffee, ground
1⁄4 lb. French roast coffee, ground
Few grains of salt

1. Blend Colombian, Java, and French roast coffees. Put 5 level tbsp. ground coffee, a few grains of salt, and 3 3⁄4 cups water into a medium pot and bring to a boil. Turn the burner down and simmer for 12–13 minutes, or longer if a stronger brew is desired.

2. Add 1 cup ice-cold water and remove pot from burner. Let rest a minute, then pour coffee into a coffeepot and serve while piping hot.

Retro Swimsuits by Elizabeth O'Brien Berg: I am always on the lookout for a nifty old-fashioned suit, so muck kinder and more glamorous all around. This line, by Elizabeth O' Brien Berg, are the neatest I've ever seen. Not cheap, but if, like me, you get a suit once a decade, well worth looking into.


Karen Dalton: A friend turned me on to Karen Dalton with It's So Hard to Tell Who's Going to Love You the Best. Her voice is indescribable (okay, it's kind of like a hippie Billie Holliday from Oklahoma), highly atmospheric, with the depth of expression that only deep self-destruction can sing.

Let's just get this out of the way: 2008 was completely insane. The highs were incredibly high, and the lows were horribly low, and even the most "normal" days of the year were thrown about in one direction or the other by a crazy piece of news. I know people who have simply given up on 2008: other than the election, the year has been a complete disaster for them, and they are currently in hiding until January 1, 2009, hoping that a new number means a new direction in life.

I thought about writing an ode to 2008, but in all honesty the year was just so bloody weird that I'm not quite sure I can articulate it, even if I wanted to. 2009 is a bit of a strange cloud, looming about, full of unknown things and potentially even wackier circumstances; it's almost as if everyone is bracing for a year of tough transition, one of those years you have to go through to get to a really good one at the other end.

But surely there were a few things we learned in 2008 that we can carry with us into 2009: whether it be a new way of thinking, a way of saving money, a way of carrying one's self, something you didn't know about yourself, your friends, your family, your country, a recipe for Black Forest Cake, a beauty tip, who Agyness Deyn is, whatever. For every major thing that happened this year (and there were many), there were a ton of tiny things that affected us in different ways; every year has its share of the craptacular and the spectacular, though the balance between the two is usually a bit off.

So what did you learn this year? What will 2008, in the end, mean to you? Or is it too soon to really tell? Or is your 2008 calendar already in the trash, the blank space on the wall just waiting for a new number, a chance to fill another 365 spaces with the tiny things that add up to another weird year?

• Jewelry brand Fred, which is "LVMH Moët Hennessy Louis Vuitton-owned," has acquired another luxury name as its new face: Kate Moss. She'll be snapped by eyebrowed superstar Patrick Demarchelier with French actor Melvil Poupaud. [WWD]

• Doorbusters failed to save the Christmas retail season. Boo! [WSJ]
• "Many retailers opened before 6 a.m., offering 50 percent to 75 percent off" but to no avail! [Yahoo]
• That's a 24% drop from last year. [Bloomberg]
• The reign of Accessories is over, thanks to the Recession. [WWD]
• The New York Times deems 08 fashion a bore. [New York Times]
• However! "To VOGUE.COM, it meant one of the most exciting and unpredictable years in fashion memory." [VogueUK]
• Ugh. More layoffs at Liz Claiborne. [WWD]
• The latest beauty trend is...vegetables. We know we're in a recession, but jeez! [NY Times]
• Beyonce's new video is apparently a total Gareth Pugh homage. Fashion-y, yes, but a little weird. [Fashionista]
• Men's retailer The Officers Club, which sounds vaguely ludicrous, has a new owner. [FT]
• Hermes, meanwhile, launches its first San Diego store. Doesn't it seem like they'd already have one there? [WWD]
• Norma Kamali institutes awesome "try before you buy" feature to her website: you get the stuff before you pay! Are there late fees? [Fashionista]

8. Lindsay Lohan
Even though certain Jon Lovtiz look-alikes refuse to believe that La Lohan can willingly shack up with a lez lover, Lindsay seems happy and healthy with her DJing lesbian girlfriend/BFF, Sam Ronson. Although she won't publicly come out and announce that she is a full-blown lesbian, Lindsay proves that for some people, sexuality isn't a clearly defined "gay or straight" division.

7. Sam Ronson
Okay, so she won't DJ at lesbian bars, but SamRon seduced America's Bad Girl to the Isle of Lesbos, instantly making her one of the most well-known lezzies in America. Ronson also spoke out against Proposition 8, turned Lindsay into a blogger and has such a cute "fuck it" attitude that you almost forget she is the daughter of a socialite.

6. Portia de Rossi
Portia didn't get a whole lot of press this year other than being Ellen's new wifey, but she did wear this awesome shirt recently. Now if she would just officially sign on for the Arrested Development movie she will be aces in our book.

5. Cynthia Nixon
God Bless a woman who could come out from the debacle that was Sex and the City: The Movie and not make us want to stab ourselves in the eyes. Nixon opened up about her previous battle with breast cancer in 2006 this year and even though she is "shocked" by her own lesbianism, she was totally the number 2 lez (after Ellen, naturally) for average middle-aged moms everywhere.

4. Maj. Margaret Witt
Major Witt, a former flight nurse, got national attention when she continued her fight against the U.S. military for dismissing her from her post because she is a lesbian. Standing up against the military's "don't ask, don't tell" policy takes a lot of bravery, something you think the military would reward rather than meddling into the private lives of their soldiers.

3. Del Martin
The lesbian activist Del Martin passed away in August at the age of 87, but not before she got married to her longtime partner, Phyllis Lyon, in the first legal gay marriage in California on June 16 of this year.

2. Ellen Degeneres
As one of the most visible lesbians in Hollywood, a lot of people were looking to Ellen to spread a positive image of lesbians to middle America during this eventful year for gays and lesbians. And Ellen did not disappoint, when she wasn't making ol' Walnuts McCain get on the real Straight Talk Express or urging people to vote against Prop. 8 on her blog, she was marrying a bananas-hot babe and great actress and becoming a Cover Girl model. Damn, what didn't Ellen do this year?

1. Rachel Maddow
This was definitely Rachel Maddow's year: she got her own show on MSNBC and quickly became the star of the network with her sarcastic but smart insight into politics. We obviously love her and she is so awesome that even our boyfriends have developed a crush on her. She even got to pose in Vogue this month without having to wear Louboutins. Cheers, to Rachel!

Can you think of any other Lezebels who stood out this year? Name them in the comments section!

10. Hulk Hogan Having Trouble Telling Girlfriend From Daughter



9. Angelina Jolie Got A Big Ol' Bump



8. Dear Ali Lohan, Please Try To Stay Just Like This—Thanks



7. Natalie Portman Steps Out With Beefcake; Wellingtons



6. Monica Lewsinsky May Be An Angeleno Now, But She Doesn't Dress Like One



5. Clive Owen, Shirtless, In Rome. Please File Under "Dream Come True"



4. Lindsay Lohan's Leggings & Liger



3. Angelina Jolie Keeps The Kids In Line With Processed Foods



2. Courtney Love Has Us Concerned



1. We Are Definitely Not Fucking Matt Damon

[Image via Window of China]

John McCain: The Arizona senator screams Politician 101, with his blue shirt with a red and blue striped tie. The quintessential white guy running for office uniform.

Rudy Giuliani: Rudy's red tie also says he's a white guy running for office. It's also a visual clue that he's a Republican for any of those other Republicans worried that all that crazy NYC liberalism might've rubbed-off on him during that unfortunate mayoral stint. Also, red tie = Christian white dude.

Mitt Romney: Funny, but the former governor of Massachusetts is also a... white Christian dude. But he's a Mormon, mind you, and distinguishes this by going with slightly-alt politician blue as opposed to slightly-conservative red. But it's still one of the two go-to politician tie colors, so we can rest assured that he still doesn't want us to have an abortion.

Sam Brownback: Whoa, Brownback almost threw us for a loop there. The senator from Kansas' tie is neither red nor blue! Thank goodness he's Christian and white or else that green-hued tie might have misled us to believe he's one of those wacky, God-hating, Negro environmentalists!

Tommy Thompson: White shirt, red tie, angry hands: The former governor of Wisconsin is also definitely (just want to hammer this home one more time!) a Christian white dude running for the Republican nomination. The suit and tie alone, we know, just say plain ol' politician, but the angry hands screaming about why we have to rid out country of the evils of gay marriage (you know, as opposed to dependence on foreign oil) totes says "I [Heart] The GOP" even more than an "I [Heart] The GOP" t-shirt would.

Mike Huckabee: The former governor of Arkansas also sports classic blue — but in a subtle pattern! We'd worry that 'pattern' might equate 'Democrat' (if not also, possibly, 'homo' — the gays like patterns, don't they?), but, thankfully, he's a guy who hates Darwin. Sleep safely tonight, Republicans — this man's no fashion fag.

Tom Tancredo: Also known as poor man's Giuliani, the representative from Colorado whose last name (tread lightly, friend, tread lightly) also belies an ethnic heritage is wearing (yawn) a white shirt with (yawn) a red tie and (yawn) a dark suit.

Jim Gilmore: He's the former governor of Virginia. White shirt. Red tie. Dark suit. Christian. White. Male. Gilmore bores us, and we'd like to stop trying to think of something that sets him apart from his fellow candidates (he's even sporting the Republican angry hands, damnit!), but we just can't and would rather go back to watching the Kathy Griffin marathon we TiVo'd. (No, you people don't want to watch with us. Kathy likes gays and hates the war.)

Duncan Hunter: Duncan, Duncan, Duncan; What's with that ambiguously dark tie? If this guy wasn't a [insert obviousness here], that whole "I'm from California" thing + the die would totally yield some major Republican mud-slinging. But whatever, almost no one's ever heard of him anyway.

Ron Paul: Uh, oh, Ron's wearing blue. And he's got some sorta funny pin on his jacket. This can't be helping his fellow Republicans' suspicions that he's actually...a Communist spy. Thank god he didn't wear pink!