The Absolutely Last-Minute Drugstore Gift Guide

If you need this gift guide right now, you're probably fucked. Begin your journey having already accepted this fact, and the process will be easier. You are not going to find a good present, not for anyone, not now, and especially not after midnight. And after that point, you have but one steadfast friend with open… » 12/24/11 2:10pm 12/24/11 2:10pm

Need A Bizarre, Esoteric Gift For An Effete Intellectual? Try…

Thinking of getting someone in your family a nice pair of slippers this Christmas? How bourgeois of you! If you were truly sophistiqué you would shell out nineteen American dollars for a pair of Restoration Hardware's "luxury plush foot duvets." Perhaps you cannot decide what to give that special person in your life… » 12/19/11 7:00pm 12/19/11 7:00pm

Gifts For Your 'Design Snob' Best Friend

It's time for the holidays and you have almost everybody on your list checked off except for that one picky friend with seemingly exquisite taste that changes as fast as the seasons do. You can't walk by a store-front window without her making some kind of comment about how "last season" that is or how the look of the… » 12/13/11 3:40pm 12/13/11 3:40pm

Passive-Aggressive Gifts for Jerks

While the holidays are a season of love and joy and giving and the such, they also entail a routine of obligation and decorum. And no matter how carefully you screen your calls and Facebook friend requests throughout the year, chances are at some point, you'll be stuck buying for someone who sucks. And here's how you… » 12/08/11 1:15pm 12/08/11 1:15pm

Gifts For Someone You're Planning To Dump

We don't recommend breaking up with your significant other around the holidays. Don't break up with them right before Christmas, right after Christmas, and definitely not on the actual day of Christmas. The same goes for Hannukkah, Kwanzaa, and any other holiday you may be celebrating this December — including New… » 12/06/11 2:35pm 12/06/11 2:35pm