The Salahi's were apparently so successful in their attempt to mingle with legitimate celebrities, including the President of the United States, that they were able to get past the Secret Service and actually shake President Obama's hand. It's fairly well known by now that the couple were hoping to score a spot on Bravo's upcoming The Real Housewives Of D.C. spin-off, and that this bit of exposure might have added a little glam and prestige to their wannabe celeb resumes. Bravo now tells the New York Times that "the decision as to who will be included in the series will not be made for several months," which I believe is a very convenient way of saying "we're waiting to see what the fallout/possible criminal charges are before we hire these two newly high-profile jerks."

The most frustrating aspect of this entire story is that the Salahi's, like Richard Heene, Nadya Suleman, or Jon and Kate Gosselin before them, will essentially benefit from their completely ridiculous behavior, regardless of how rude, criminal, or obnoxious the public takes them to be. The threats of possible jailtime, universal public disdain, and reputation-ruining stories running all over the internet are not as powerful as the pull of celebrity, and our fascination with faux-celebrities only feeds the machine that allows people to believe it's perfectly okay to lie about your son floating away in a balloon, or to insist you're allowing your children to be filmed for their benefit as your marriage crumbles in a very public and very horrific way, or to crash a party thrown by the President of the United States. So what if they go to jail? That just guarantees them more public fascination, a possible show upon release, an interview with Barbara Walters, and so on and so forth. You can't really go wrong being a terrible reality star; being the bad guy is just another role that someone has to play all the way to the bank.

We began the decade with Survivor, taking our reality stars out of the comforts of MTV-furnished lofts and sending them to islands to learn to fend for themselves in fairly treacherous conditions. Surviving the islands led to surviving a bin filled with spiders, which led to surviving a home filled with 84 children, which led to surviving a house filled with washed-up celebrities, which led to 600 shows starring Flavor Flav, which led to Bret Michaels looking for love on a bus. There is no more reality in reality television, unless you count the sad realities of faux-celebrity and the desperation some show simply to be somebody. Perhaps it's time to send all of our reality stars and their shows back to the deserted island. Only this time, let's just leave them there.

Salahis, White House Dinner Crashers, Met The Obamas [NYTimes]

[Image via The Official White House Photostream]

While Ryder "personified the knowing malaise of the late '80s and early '90s," according to interviewer Nick Haramis, she's recently been on a "nine-year retreat from the spotlight." (It's true that we haven't heard much from her, but she has made several movies in the past decade.) Haramis writes:

Ryder rarely gives interviews, as if rebelling against-or atoning for-her effusive past. "It's weird," she says, "the whole concept of an interview. To hold someone accountable for what they've said or done when they were younger is bizarre. We evolve, we change-at least I hope we do."

While Ryder says she's learned to be wary of revealing too much to the press, it doesn't stop her from sharing this bit of personal information:

"I've just been told that news will break next week that I'm pregnant," she says laughing, "which is impossible." And just to make sure she has been understood, Ryder adds, "Because, you know, I'm on my… " Her left hand circles the air just south of her phantom baby bump.

Ryder reveals that she once had a short story published under a pseudonym because:

"I wanted to know what it felt like to have people enjoy something and not know it had anything to do with me." But wouldn't the recognition validate the work? "Well, I can't listen to Wagner because he hated Jews. I can't read Émile Zola-I mean, I love Émile Zola, but he had some scandals that were kind of scary-and I worship Woody Allen, but he had his thing, too. I struggle with the age-old question of how to separate the art from the artist."

She says her four year relationship with Johnny Depp, which started when she was 17, put her at the center of a media frenzy early in her career.

"Things changed for me when I met Johnny," she says. "This weird thing happens when you're written about in magazines, where you start to think, This is who I am. This is how I have to be. I felt restricted and pressured into being the way people perceived me. It was hard for me to find my footing. The Johnny thing made me really afraid of the press because, even though it was about him, I was beside him the entire time."

While she's on good terms with Depp and another celebrity ex, Matt Damon, the fact that her entire dating history is public makes starting a new relationship difficult.

"Matt couldn't be a greater, nicer guy. I'm really lucky that I'm on good terms with him," she says. "With Johnny, it's like we're good, but we lead very different lives." Ryder adds, "I was out at a bar with a friend who said, ‘Do you realize that in America you're never going to be able to meet a guy who knows nothing about you? Everyone will have preconceived ideas about who you are.' I got so bummed out. I'd never really thought about it that way."

Ryder says the media scrutiny caught up to her in 1990, so at 19-years-old she decided to seek psychological treatment.

"I remember waking up one morning," she says of her breaking point. "I looked in the mirror and thought, Am I going crazy? So I checked myself into a hospital where I stayed for a few days. I was surrounded by people who had been molested and abused. I felt like they hated me, didn't know what the fuck I was doing there and wanted me to get the hell out because what the fuck did I have to complain about?" A smile builds across her face when she adds, "When it was my turn to talk in group therapy sessions, I was like, I'm just really tired because it's hard to be famous."

She drew on her experience in the hospital while filming Girl, Interrupted years later. Angelina Jolie won an Oscar for her role in the film, and in some ways Ryder is responsible for jump-starting her career.

"I fought very hard for her to have that part, and I never really felt like I got the chance to know her." Did Jolie ever personally thank her? "I feel like it won't read in print very nicely if I say that wasn't really her style," she says. "But she seems to be a completely different person now."

Ryder is back on the interview circuit to promote Pippa Lee, in which she plays Sandra Dulles, "an adulterous mess of insecurity and self-interest," but she still refuses to discuss some of her own issues. She won't answer Haramis' questions about her December 2001 arrest for shoplifting at Saks Fifth Avenue in Beverly Hills.

We move on, but before doing so, she touches my arm and, as though forgiving me for asking, says, "I understand. I'm curious about other people, so I have to understand when people are curious about me."

Read the rest of the interview here at BlackBookMag.com.

Winona Ryder Bites Back [BlackBook Magazine]

Tonya was a foster child who aged out of the system and eventually was cast on The Real World: Chicago. She was one of the first people to create a career out of reality television, which actually doesn't seem like it's been very beneficial to her emotional state, Last night, one of her castmates, and a long-time nemesis, Veronica, pushed Tonya's buttons, supposedly saying "unspeakable" things that didn't make it into this episode—according to Tonya's Twitter, and other cast members—which led to Tonya physically attacking Veronica.


Some of the cast members were interviewed, after filming for the show wrapped, for MTV's blog. They are talking over each other, but they all agree that Veronica should have been sent home for the highly offensive, unaired remark she made to Tonya. In the clip, we think we hear Ibis saying, "Yeah, about the rape…"


Here's unedited footage of dialogue leading up to their fight. Veronica's offensive statement, however, is not included.

He's so noble! But if nothing else, the show may have inspired fucking kids to think twice before getting fucking implants.

Bronne, who is normally a fun-loving, laid back guy, totally flipped out at the disrespect to his zombie magazine (they publish those!?). He loves zombies, but didn't see the irony in the fact that while drunk and tap-dancing, Emilee was actually very zombie-like.

According to another therapist treating another patient on the show, researchers have recently discovered that hoarding, much like addiction, could be genetic.

She also explains that a hoarders' behavior might seem jarring to most people, particularly in the treatment process. The woman in the clip below is Linda. She's been a hoarder for quite some time and she and her husband of several decades recently divorced. She's being forced to sell her home to divide the assets, and, when the cleanup crew arrived, she began violently throwing things into the truck, as a form of catharsis.

My gaydar went off when I first saw JR and heard him speak; my suspicions were confirmed when gay roommate Derek said that he thought that JR was gay, too, although he cited JR's manicured nails as the reason.

In other news, Jonna continues to be the ultimate violator of "girl code" when she bedded Jasmine's crush Pat (aka JR's cousin), despite the fact that she has a boyfriend, whose photos wallpaper her room.

Related: Text Message — Key Clue in Model Murder [TMZ]

CBS has released an official statement regarding Chima's departure:

Chima has been evicted by the producers from the Big Brother house for violating the rules. She will not be part of the show's jury. Her eviction will be addressed on an upcoming broadcast of the show.

Thanks,

CBSBig Brother Web Team

LIVE FEED

Thursday, 8/13 8pm - After Jessie's eviction, Chima, Lydia, and Natalie cried like he was dead and essentially eulogized him. Lydia and Natalie decided to go through the clothes that Jessie left behind, and vowed to wear them as some sort of memorial.

Chima ranted on and on about how she wanted to leave the show because she was so upset over the outcome of the "Cootie Taw."

Remember when Chima delivered that big speech about Braden being a racist during the first live eviction of the season? Well, when bitching about Russell, she said the following: "Russell isn't a fucking Catholic, he's some extremist Muslim terrorist."

The contestants were given some crafts to entertain themselves, one of which was origami. Russell made a plane, and in reference to it, Chima said that she was the World Trade Center.

Later on, there was a lot of commotion among Russell and Jeff because supposedly Chima and/or Lydia stole some of their possessions and vandalized them.

Friday, 8/14 10pm - This was the night that Chima lost her fucking marbles.

The house guests were given some kind of mini-golf set to practice for an upcoming competition. Natalie rallied her allies and got them outside to practice. Chima came out without her microphone, and she refused to put it on. Then Chima began hammering the golf club on the ramp. Natalie ran and got Chima's mic and handed it to her, and Chima threw it in the hot tub.

After that incident, the live feeds intermittently went in and out of the fish tank, as Chima was screaming stuff about production.

The live feeds came back on for a bit to show Chima throwing fits over the fact that someone (whom she believed to be Russell) ate her Cheetos. She went into the Diary Room and the feeds fish tanked again, this time for hours.

Saturday 8/15 1am - The feeds returned. It's clear that something really big went down, but no one was saying anything, and instead, were in the kitchen silently eating chips and guac.

Finally, Michele noticed that Chima's picture turned black and white, the first mention that the latter was in fact, removed from the house. Russell said that it was "her choice," but he might have just been referring to her actions, and the fact that she refused to follow the rules of the contract that she signed. (She also destroyed a $5,000 body mic. I've heard house guests talking in the past about how if a mic gets destroyed, it comes out of their pockets.)

Later in the day, there was a luxury competition/HoH, in which Jeff won a trip to Hawaii, Kevin won another $5,000, and Jordan won HoH. (Apparently, Chima's departure counted as the eviction for the week, and another HoH competition was held, which supposedly will be passed off as the "live" show on Thursday, even though it was taped.) Lydia "won" the red leotard but refused to wear it.

5pm - Lydia apparently had a beef with Michele. There didn't seem to be a logical reason behind this. She said some horrible things, prompting Michele to yell, "Put on your fucking leotard, you fucking bitch!"

Then all hell broke loose. Lydia dumped out Michele's beer and threw away her food. Lydia seemed completely wasted, but she and Natalie both insisted that she was not drunk, even though she was slurring her words. She repeatedly called Michele a "bi-polar, psycho bitch" and Michele retorted with, "I work in a psychiatry department where I try to help people like you!"

Jeff freaked out and said he had enough. He tried to calm Lydia down, but there was really no talking to her:

(BTW: Natalie constantly picks her nose all the time, even while she's talking to people. She's gross.)

Lydia kept insisting that she wanted to be voted out of the house. Jordan said that she only wants to leave so that she could be alone in the jury house with Jessie.

Jeff continued to talk to Natalie and he said that Chima had issues beyond being in the BB house, and that it was "none of his business." I think he was referring to when she was assaulted.

Sunday, 8/16 - Lydia debuted her pink hair.

Late at night, just before they fell asleep, Natalie asked Lydia how many times Lydia and Jessie hooked up. Lydia said five times. Natalie wanted every gory detail, but Lydia wouldn't give in. Eventually, some information came out that while giving Jessie a hand job, Lydia accidentally got semen on one of Natalie's sweat shirts.

Lydia also said of Jessie, "I'd be so much more of a happy camper if his two fingers fucking worked."

But to be serious: What really bothers me is this sentiment that Khloe is "big." When I hear or read about her being described as "plus size" or "the fat one," it upsets me in a very visceral way, because while I know that there's absolutely nothing wrong with being "fat" or "plus size" I wonder how these sorts of descriptions, when used as perjoratives, affect the self-esteem of women with similar builds.

That being said, I thought the coworker she hooked up with was cute, but he kinda was working the wrong angle when he told her his type is "big". Any woman who has been described that way — particularly in relation to the size of her siblings — probably doesn't want to hear about it in a context that seems to fetishize something that's been a source of ridicule and bad feelings.

Interestingly, Jasmine was the only roommate who woke up on time for work the next day, which has proven to be a problem for some of them.

Who does she think she is? Kelly Cutrone? Or Diane Keaton in Baby Boom? Camille was right, though. There are too many different "Operation Smile" Facebook pages.

Joey's intervention took place almost entirely over text messages, because he ran out of the hotel conference room where his family had been waiting with Ken Seeley, and would only communicate with them via text while at his friend Pizza's house. Pizza is Joey's drug buddy. When I first saw his name in the subtitles, I imagined him as a white guy in his early 20s who's maybe into reggae and wears dirty hippie junkie knit hats that look like giant old hacky sacks, and probably earned his nickname during the gateway phase of his current downward spiral, because he'd always be the first one in the room to get the munchies and suggest calling Domino's.



But it turns out he's a portly, creepy, middle-aged man with an injured nose, who probably earned his nickname from working in a pizza parlor.



He ended up being a central figure in this episode.









Pizza swore that Joey was not hiding in his house.






So it's OK, because it all worked out in the end. Joey is trying to learn the true meaning of "serenity" in rehab, but judging from his recent artwork, it seems like he's not quite there yet.

Her story was actually featured on an episode of Cold Case Files a few years ago. The more recent conversation took place several weeks ago in the house (if you look closely at the mirrors, you can see Laura's head), and I'd assumed that CBS had decided to not broadcast it, out of an uncharacteristic sense of privacy and ethics, but they were just waiting until Chima had won HoH to air the footage.

In other news, to promote his new movie The Goods, Jeremy Piven showed up to the BB house, with a wig that was a completely different color from the rest of his hair.

It looks like the "sushi poisoning" may have taken a toll. I love how Jessie called him out on the whole "see you on the other side" casual line he threw.

LIVE FEED
There were a lot more fights between Chima and Russell over the weekend, but it's difficult to tell if they're still putting on an act, or if somehow the animosity turned real. The house guests received a lot of booze, and everyone got drunk at various points, including Jessie, who never drinks, which is apparent by this drunken conversation he had about unicorns.

Instead of investing in a clock, Joey — the guy infamous for his one-night stands, spitting, and emo fits — relied on his roommates' dinky watch alarm to wake up for his "punishment" shift starting at 9am. (The punishment was for a previous missed shift that was at night, which Joey blew off because he got too drunk during the day.) His boss wasn't having it, and showed up with a ticket back to America within the hour.

Chima and Russell have been flirty friends in an alliance up to this point, so their acrimony seemed to come out of left field, with the only possible explanation being Chima's jealousy over Russell's friendships with some of the other women in the house. As of right now, their animosity will most likely not affect the eviction vote on Thursday.

However, on the live feeds, shit went down, leading to some of the best fights, drama and crying (Ronnie, of course) of the season, thus far. I don't think I've ever heard the word "motherfucker" tossed around so much in the span of an hour.

LIVE FEED:

Monday, 8/3
During the day, Chima and Lydia got into it over something, which seemed to spark a general uneasiness in the house.

Around 10 pm, talk was brewing that Chima was planning on backdoor-ing Russell. Michele supposedly relayed this to Russell, and he brought Chima and Michele up to the HoH room to hash it out. That led to this argument, in which Chima got up in Russell's face.

Things snowballed from there, with almost the entire house getting involved in some way or another. While Chima went to another room to cool off, Russell stayed outside, fuming. He then told Natalie a secret he knew about Michele: that she has a PhD in neuroscience. He said she "works on the brain" which "changes things."

Post-fight, Chima and Jordan talked in the bathroom. They both agreed that Ronnie and Russell had a secret alliance (totally true, but was then called off). Eventually, Lydia, Kevin, and Natalie joined them in the bathroom to shit talk on Russell and Ronnie. Ronnie overheard them, and entered the bathroom to clarify that he wasn't in an alliance with Russell.

Thinking that Ronnie was lying, Kevin became enraged. He got in Ronnie's face, screamed at him, and chest-bumped him.

Ronnie went into the red bedroom with Chima and started crying, saying that Kevin hurt his feelings, and that his physically aggressive behavior should be cause for him to be removed from the house by producers. Then Ronnie said one of the best lines in BB history:

Later on, Chima and Russell fought again. This time, they threw water on each other and began making sexual insults. Chima said he had a tiny dick, and Russell said that she only knew that because she touched it when she tried to have sex with him, making that the worst comeback ever.

He then went on to tell her that the only thing she's good for is "talking and sucking dick."

The drama for the night was cut short when production issued three-foot restraining orders between Chima and Russell, Kevin and Ronnie, and Natalie and Michele.

But are you ready for this? All of the fighting between Russell and Chima? Staged! They planned the entire thing on Saturday, even choreographing how they would throw drinks. They still secretly make out from time to time.

Tuesday, 8/4
In the evening, Russell talked to Jeff outside. He told Jeff that his father wrote a subliminal message in his letter that he received in the HoH room. Russell said that the part where his dad said, "Remember the lessons I taught you in grade school and middle school" was in reference to when Russell fought with Jeff. It was Russell's dad's way of telling him that he should trust Jeff

In another room, Lydia shot off one of her malapropisms: "If you think you're going to come out of this conversation scotch clean…"

So far, no one has been awarded the "secret power"—which Ronnie has dubbed the "wizard power" and everyone has happily adopted—but as Julie Chen promised, it should be a game-changer.