• Heidi Klum is not Superwoman, okay? She's not walking in the Victoria's Secret runway show a mere month after giving birth to her fourth child. She's just going to host it. Sheesh. Some people have such unrealistic expectations. [E!]

• Meanwhile, this year's angels have been named: Candice Swanepoel, Chanel Iman, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Emanuela de Paula, and Lindsay Ellingson have all been welcomed into the fold. [SB]
• In other important lingerie news, some people who sell bras in London say that 1950s-style pointy bras are gaining popularity. However, none of the equipment pictured looks that pointy. [Daily Mail]
• Tom Ford says he struggled with depression after leaving Gucci, in 2004. "I started to sink emotionally, spiritually. I became a little bit lost. Leaving Gucci, it intensified because I had been able to cling to my job and to my work and to my identity as a successful fashion designer, and all of a sudden that was gone. It forced me to really think, Well, what am I, who am I, what am I about? It took me a bit of time to figure that out. I think this happens to most people in their life if they're insightful enough to indulge it and to get through to the other side." [W]
• This week's episode of Project Runway was shot partly at the Getty Center, and the challenge for the contestants is to create outfits that somehow reflect the museum and its architecture. There's a free screening at 7 tonight at the museum. [LATimes]
• Lady Gaga is now backtracking from her earlier claims, to Flare magazine, in which she said she would do a clothing line "at some point." The singer told the Accessories Council awards gala that she and her styling team aren't into that: "We will never do a line; we are not an economy." Then Toms founder Blake Mycoskie reminded the audience, gathered to celebrate, in Diane Von Furstenberg's words "friends you can carry with you and they make you feel better," that "Shoes, for 40 percent of the world, are not an accessory. They're a necessity." [Style.com]
• 50 Cent's torso appears in all its smoothly airbrushed glory for his new fragrance campaign, which he revealed to People. [People]
• Stephanie Winston-Wolkoff, who, until this July, worked at Vogue and essentially ran the annual Met Costume Institute Gala, has just been confirmed as the new director of fashion week at Lincoln Center. [FWD]
• There's news about Isaac Mizrahi's QVC collection, which goes on sale December 4, but we know what we all really are curious about is the cheesecake that will be sold. It's made by Junior's, the top looks to be printed with tartan in edible inks, and the crust is chocolate-flavored cookies. It'll be $40. Also for sale will be an Isaac Mizrahi banana nut loaf and chocolate-chip cookies. Yum. [WWD]
• Sociology major and current Prada face Kendra Spears, on embarrassing moments: "Well, during a hurried interview backstage an investigatory journalist asked me what I liked to do when I was at home and I said, 'nothing too commotious.' Afterwards, I realized commotious isn't even a word." And on jobs she held, pre-modeling: "I worked part time as an assistant to the owner of a company called LiftPort which was (and may still be) in the forefront of technologies, mostly carbon nanotubes, to build an elevator into space." [W]
• Because of the weak economy, more parents are trying to get agency representation for modeling and talent work for their children. Also because of the weak economy, there are fewer jobs to go around, and those jobs are still offered are less well-paying. [WSJ]
• Rumor has it that John Galliano is designing and decorating this year's Christmas tree for London's Claridge's hotel. [Style.com]
• Joanna Lumley and Jennifer Saunders of Absolutely Fabulous are in the Marks & Spencer holiday ads. [Mirror]
• Designer Adam Lippes, who staffs his office with around 20 interns at any one time, says of them: "[I]t's rare to find an intern — especially one from a fashion school — that has good style. Because they try sooo hard, and it never works! You know?" Having been once dressed by an Adam Lippes intern who was wearing a kind of 1980s Medusa costume, with a corset, we are tempted to agree, but for chrissakes, Lippes, they work for you for free. (Also: look who's talking.) [The Cut]
• Photographer Jean-Baptiste Mondino is against France's proposed retouching laws, which would require digitally altered images to bear labels stating that they have been, well, digitally altered. He tells Libération Next, "The photos of old Hollywood? Retouched! The iconic image of Che Guevara? Retouched! All the photos taken by Richard Avedon of Marilyn Monroe? Retouched! And all of this before today's software existed, of course. Legs were lengthened using a wide angle; skins were smoothed through overexposure." Because using a wide-angle lens is exactly the same as scissoring one head onto another body and placing the Frankenstein creation into a separately shot background and then liquifying the nose a little and changing the light source and strength and whittling down the waist. [WWD]
• Christian Siriano's holiday collection for Payless has turned up online. Are these even supposed to bear any resemblance to what he shows with his runway collection anymore? [Payless]
• Jodi Arnold, starting with her resort collection, is changing the name of her line from MINT Jodi Arnold, to Jodi Arnold NYC. The designer, who has a new job working on a collaboration with The Limited, also just opened her first store, a pop-up in Greenwich village. [WWD]
• The son of the founder of Escada is one of the bidders — in a consortium with the former head of Gucci and the department store owners Borletti Group — for the bankrupt German house. They are offering $118.2 million. [Reuters]
• Steve Madden is not only not bankrupt, it's feeling pretty acquisitory. C.E.O. Edward Rosenfeld says the company is on the lookout for brands worth $30-$40 million, but could splurge on something worth up to $100 million. [TS]
• Valentino head Stefano Sassi, says everything at the house is just great!!! Nothing to see here!!! Doth the C.E.O. protest too much? [Reuters]
• Liz Claiborne's third quarter losses were even bigger than expected. This is the company's eighth consecutive quarter of losing money. [WSJ]

• Conan O'Brien landed in the hospital yesterday due to an injury sustained during a Tonight Show stunt. A source says O'Brien was "running down a flight of stairs when he slipped and banged his head, possibly sustaining a concussion." [E!]

• Though the network has not yet released any details about Conan's condition or if he's been released from the hospital, they did release a statement allegedly made by O'Brien himself: ""Last thing I remember I was enjoying the play with Mrs. Lincoln and the next thing I knew I was in bed being served cookies and juice." [NYTimes]
• Conan was also cracking jokes during his ambulance ride to the hospital. Is it wrong that I hope he made a Nomi Malone/Showgirls reference regarding Jay Leno and the flight of stairs? [TMZ]
• The rumors about Lindsay Lohan trashing a hotel room during a fight with Samantha Ronson are apparently untrue, as Lohan was in Texas, not New York, when the fight supposedly broke out. [PageSix]
• Meanwhile, producers of Celebrity Big Brother UK are trying to line up Lohan for the last season of the show. [TheSun]
• Seth Rogen's dream came true when he was asked to co-write and lend his voice to the first episode of the upcoming season of The Simpsons, where he'll spoof his own Green Hornet experience by playing a trainer assigned to whip Homer into shape for a big budget action film. "As a writer, it always just seemed like the Holy Grail," Rogen says, "I can die a happy man now." [AP]
• Randy Quaid and his wife allegedly have their hotel bill-hopping scheme "down to a science," according to a Santa Barbara County Sheriff, who notes that the couple have pulled similar stunts before. [TMZ]
• Miley Cyrus will reportedly be movin her hips like yeah in the Sex and the City sequel: "Miley sees this as a transition from teen stardom to more adult roles," says a source, "We're all wondering how long it will take Kim to have Miley knocking back Cosmos and ogling all the men. Seriously though, all the girls are excited to have Miley on board." I think it will take 5 years, source! Because she's only 16 years old like yeah, so it's a straight edge party on the set in the USA while the cameras are rolling, know what I'm sayin? [ShowbizSpy]
• Afeni Shakur has donated over 150 pieces of her son, Tupac's work to the Robert W. Woodruff Library at the Atlanta University Center. The collection includes handwritten notes, lyrics, and poetry. [AP]
• Mary-Louise Parker is dating musician Charlie Mars. He's 10 years younger than she is, so get ready for 6-8 months of stupid cougar references. [People]
• Ashton Kutcher's The Beautiful Life, starring Mischa Barton, has been canceled by the CW after only 2 episodes. Sadly, no one has canceled the similarly-titled Ace of Base song from my brain since I read this item earlier this morning. [THR]
• Catherine Zeta-Jones and husband Michael Douglas shared a birthday yesterday; she turned 40 and he turned 65. "'When you live in Los Angeles you can't go anywhere without being critiqued - on the fact that you have gained weight or that you have got spots on your face. That's not the life I want," Jones says, "Deciding to live in beautiful Bermuda was the healthiest thing Michael and I ever did. Now that I have kids, that's what my life is about." [DailyMail]
• "I've been afraid of the dark my whole life. If I go into my house at night and the lights have been turned off... I have to run from the door to the light switch to turn it on... I'm just afraid of what I can't see. I watch a lot of paranormal shows, like Ghost Hunters... and they freak me out." -Megan Fox [DailyExpress]
• Brett Ratner had to convince producers to allow an autobiographical sex scene in his short for New York, I Love You, wherein a character loses his virginity to "a paraplegic dangling from a tree." Ratner, who apparently lost his own virginity this way, says "When I sent the original script, which is autobiographical, the producers would not let me film it because, in the original ending, she (the girl) is a cripple, and they have sex as she's hanging from a tree in Central Park. Everyone was freaking out over my short, so I changed it to where she wasn't a cripple, but an actress pretending to be a cripple." [DailyExpress]
• Jay-Z says that he's thankful his mother, Gloria, set up a meeting between him and his estranged father, whose absence caused a great deal of "resentment and anger" in his life, as it allowed him to better understand his father's choices. [ShowbizSpy]
• Michael Jackson admitted in an interview to Rabbi Shmuley Boteach that he was terrified of growing old and that he felt Madonna was jealous of him: "'I think she was in love with me and I was not in love with her." [DailyMail]
• Boteach also says that Jackson had "lost the will to live" and was embarrassed about his appearance, noting that he felt he looked like a "lizard." [Reuters]
• "I just hit 40, so what more can I say? I mean, the fact that I'm 40 is a miracle. I'm on the other side now."- Christian Slater [ShowbizSpy]
• J.K. Rowling has opened a Twitter account. Rita Skeeter has already sent her 82930283 direct messages, asking for scoops. [EW]
• And now for my favorite news ever: Snoop Dogg is a big fan of the 90s British sitcom Keeping Up Appearances: ""They still run the show on BBC America so I think Mrs Bucket must have some sort of cult following in the US. I still watch the show to this day and it makes me laugh so hard. She has to be one of the funniest people on TV." [TheSun]

• Sarah Jessica Parker talked to Access Hollywood about her new twin girls. She's mad about how the media is hounding her surrogate, and explains that she turned to surrogacy many disappointments trying to conceive.

• "Yeah, I mean I couldn't pretend otherwise," she said. "It would be a complicated – it would be odd to have made this choice if I was able to, you know, have successful pregnancies since my son's birth." She added, "I'm in disbelief. I'm really grateful. I feel really fortunate. My son is so excited, my husband is so excited." [Access Hollywood]
• Jennifer Aniston has been given time off from filming The Baster and promoting Management because she's suffering from exhaustion. "Her life is hectic anyway with her producing responsibilities and the pressure of being in the public eye all the time," says a friend. "It all just caught up with her in the last few days so she's been told to take a break. She's exhausted." [The Sun]
• Quentin Tarantino did a Pulp Fiction-like dance on the red carpet at the premiere of Inglorious Basterds with French actress Melanie Laurent. [Yahoo via AFP]
• Brad Pitt says he doesn't remember why he agreed to do Quentin Tarantino's Inglorious Basterds. Pitty says: "Quentin came to visit some time at the end of the summer, we talked about backstory, we talked about movies - I get up the next morning and see five empty bottles of wine right on the floor, five, and something that resembles a smoking apparatus - I don't know what that was about - and apparently I had agreed to do this film." [Mirror]
• Despite rumors that their relationship is on the rocks, there are pictures here snapped at a restaurant in Cannes of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie kissing. [The L.A. Times]
• In this Huffington Post editorial, Alec Baldwin apologizes to the people of the Philippines about his "mail-order bride" joke. He writes, "Such anger and frustration about the issue of sex trafficking is understandable. The Philippines has suffered significant problems with the issue of sex trafficking and I would like to turn your attention to the work of an organization called Love146 that my brother Stephen educated me about." Also contrary to popular belief, he doesn't want U.S. autoworkers to lose their jobs. [The Huffington Post]
• Amy Winehouse was hospitalized for the third time in three months yesterday, but she was released a few hours later. She was supposed to perform in London at the end of the month, but a source says, "Amy's gig might as well be canceled now. She's not going to make it. It's not worth her while even if she does make it, it will be a shambles." [Perez Hilton]
• Terri Seymour, Simon Cowell's ex, was assaulted after attending the American Idol finale last night. A woman walked up to Terri, asked if she was Simon's girlfriend, then attacked her and tried to choke her. The suspect, Janice Thibodeaux, was arrested for felony battery and is being held on bail. [TMZ]
• In an interview from prison, Janice Thibodeaux said the attack was retaliation from Simon Cowell choking Paula Abdul on American Idol the other night. "I wasn't cool with Simon Cowell choking Paula Abdul on the show last week and with her crying-out ‘help' as he did so," Thibodeaux said. "Nobody said anything about that so I wanted to confront him about it because that is not appropriate behavior, is it?" [Radar]
• Kate Gosselin is now blogging. She wrote about her recent trip to Party City to buy stuff for the kids' birthday, saying, "Jon was unexpectedly away. We mistakenly got our wires crossed and I ended up having no help from our babysitter, so I decided I'd brave this adventure by myself!!!" [Just Jared]
• In a new interview Jason Hummel, who has accused his sister Deanna Hummel of having an affair with Jon Gosselin says, "Personally, I do think they're going to continue seeing each other. I think they think they can get away with it." [E!]
• After Mary Carey made a porn parody of Celebrity Rehab, saying she liked, "Dr. Screw more than Dr. Drew," Dr. Drew Pinsky Tweeted: "Mary's choice to mock ... makes me sad." Carey told TMZ, she "loves Dr. Drew and wasn't trying to make fun of him or mock him." Dr. Drew Tweeted back to Carey: "Not mad just sad that you are getting sucked back in, please give [your AA sponsor] a call. I know it must be difficult." [TMZ]
• There are rumors that Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr are engaged because she was photographed wearing what looked like an engagement ring. Her rep said: "I am aware of the images. However, I am not in a position to comment." [People]
• Ann Kelly, the New Jersey woman accused of having an affair with Bruce Springsteen, has filed divorce papers against her husband saying that he was abusive, cheated on her, and made up the Springsteen rumor because, "he and his attorney felt there could be 'big money' in this ... because, true or not, the celebrity would want this to 'go away.'" [People]
• Here's the album art for Britney Spears' new single "Radar." [BritneySpears.com]
• Yesterday, CBS cancelled Medium. Today they saved it. Also renewed for next season are The Ghost Whisperer, The Mentalist, The Unit, Without A Trace, Eleventh Hour. [E!]
• Yesterday John Mayer Tweeted: "I love how some dudes hate me for dating their fantasy girl, as if they were going to if I hadn't." [Pop Sugar]
• Lindsay Lohan started her day yesterday with a business meeting and in the wee hours of the morning today she showed up at Samantha Ronson's house. [Socialite Life]
• Here are some pictures from the new CW show The Beautiful Life. It's about a house full of models so Corbin Bleu, Mischa Barton, and company are all giving their best Blue Steel. [Just Jared]
• Here are the cast photos from the new Melrose Place. It is not about a house full of models, so Ashlee Simpson and company really have no reason to look so sullen. [Just Jared]
• Cher is in talks with producers to star with Christina Aguilera in the movie Burlesque. [E!]
• Wayne Allwine, the actor who voiced Mickey Mouse for more than 30 years, has died. [USA Today]
• The start of Michael Jackson's London comeback concerts have been pushed back from July 8 to July 13. [USA Today]
• Michael Vick has left a Kansas federal prison. He will serve the last two months of his 23-month sentence in home confinement in Virginia. [CNN]
• Rafiq Qureshi, father of Slumdog Millionaire star Rubina Ali, says that his home was destroyed in the slum demolition drive, but authorities say his home was not one of those that were razed. [CNN]
• Ghostbusters III may start shooting this fall, and there are many more rumors at the link. [Ain't It Cool News]
• Peter Andre spent the last week with his family in Cyprus, but he has returned to England to deal with his divorce from Katie Price. [The Sun]
• Peter Andre got a nasty surprise when he came home. Katie Price told housekeepers to pack up all of his belongings and put them in storage. [The Daily Mail]
• Nas has asked a judge to deny his estranged wife Kelis' request for support payments. He says she can pay her own way now, even though she's weeks from giving birth. [TMZ]
• Here's video of Carrie Prejean practicing for her Fox News debut by serving as anchor on a local San Diego TV station. [TMZ]
• Justin Long says he's a pretty good boyfriend, but "I have a time-management problem that's not very appealing for girls," he says. "I'm not very good with that – I'd say that's definitely a flaw that I'm trying to work on." He added that his biggest flaw is, "I'm too good a lover." [People]
• America's Got Talent judge Piers Morgan had Stevie Wonder record a wedding proposal for Morgan's girlfriend. He says, "I met [Wonder] in L.A. and I got him to record a marriage proposal to my girlfriend Celia on video, so it's ready to unleash should I need it. He's her favourite singer, so this is a powerful tool to have up my sleeve, but I have to choose the right moment." [The Daily Express]
• "The most A-list celebrity? I'd love to see Hugh Jackman! Wouldn't he be handsome up there doing the fox-trot?" - So You Think You Can Dance? judge Mary Murphy, on who she'd love to see on the show. Jackman does love to dance, but somehow it seems unlikely. [E!]
• The secluded home on an island in the Baltic Sea where Ingmar Bergman spent his final days is up for sale. [Yahoo]
• Ashley Olsen will be on the cover of Hamptons magazine. [Fashionista]
• Beyonce says that in addition to purposely buying clothing that is too small, she inspires herself to lose weight by looking at a painting in her gym of an Oscar statue. "I look at it, and I'm like, OK, I have to stay in shape," she says. However, she added that she felt she was too thin in Dreamgirls. I felt very chic, like a model," she says. "But it didn't look natural for me. I didn't feel very sexy or feminine, and I didn't have much confidence because I didn't feel like myself." [Yahoo]
• Soulja Boy Tweets: "Technology is so advanced from like 10 years back. I'm in the club last night chick sittin directly across me talking to me on Twitter LOL." [E!]
• When America didn't vote to make Gilles Marini the winner of Dancing With the Stars they made his son cry. "My son looked at me and started crying because he wanted me to get that trophy," Gilles said. "He was just crying and crying and crying. I feel so badly because I want to be with him but now I am flying to New York. I feel like a bad daddy because I can't see him and hold him." Are you happy now? [E!]

• Kiefer Sutherland may be looking at a minor assault charge in NYC for headbutting designer Jack McCollough. The real problem?

He may have violated the probation of his L.A. DUI conviction. If so, it's back to the slammer. [People]

• According to this report, Kiefer Sutherland will surrender today and be charged with with third-degree assault for his "attack" on Jack McCollough. [NY Daily News, TMZ, E!]
• Kiefer will get a desk ticket for the headbutt — meaning he won't be jailed and he's free to travel. [NY Daily News, NY Post]
• Donald Trump intends to make a decision about Miss California Carrie Prejean very soon; additionally, the guy from the website which has been releasing "controversial" photos of her says he has more, and he intends to post them. [E!]
• The Carrie Prejean semi-nude pictures will "roll out" slowly. [CNN]
• Chris Brown's lawyer, Mark Geragos, has filed legal papers asking the LAPD to state how the picture of Rihanna was leaked to TMZ. If there was misconduct by law enforcement, Geragos will file a motion to have the case dismissed. [TMZ]
• Oprah wrote her Time 100 essay about Michelle Obama on her BlackBerry: "And then I went to hit the wrong button and the whole thing deleted! I went to hit 'Save' and instead I hit ... 'Oh my God! Oh my God! It's gone!' That ever happened to you? And then you can't remember - not one sentence you wrote." What did she do? "I couldn't even think for two days… I couldn't even, like, think of a sentence. I stared at the BlackBerry, then I hit every button trying to make it come back. I hit 'Options.' I did everything!" Then she started over. [New York Mag, Gatecrasher]
• Lindsay and Sam: Romantic relapse? A source says Sam might take LL back. They've been texting and "having visits." But another source says: "Lindsay plays stupid mind games saying she is being pursued by major celebrity actors. She has a lot of free time to play all these childish games. Sam knows in her head, life is truly better off without Lindsay." [People]
• This paper claims that Lindsay Lohan "chased her ex-lover across LA yesterday before finally tracking her down at 2am and demanding one of those horrible late-night discussions." [Daily Mail]
• Steve Zahn had to touch Jennifer Aniston's ass for the new flick, The Management, and says: "We had to do it so many times. It's so weird, very awkward and bizarre. [But] she's a pro, a gifted actor, humble, modest, a genuinely kind person. She has no agenda. She's just a really beautiful person." So wait: she's not desperate and lonely, sobbing over an empty uterus? Huh. [People]
• Jennifer Aniston says if there's gonna be a Friends movie, "they should hurry up." [Mirror]
• Jennifer Aniston and Bradley Cooper: Flirting??!?!?!?! [Page Six]
• In the new Marie Claire, Beyoncé says that when she was singing for the Obamas in January, she was almost overcome: "I had to tell myself, 'They asked you to do this. You have to do a great job. This is their history. Calm down. Calm down… I barely made it. Literally seconds before the song started, I was crying like a 5-year-old." [People]
• In this video, some dude who works security at a Pennsylvania motel says Jon Gosselin from Jon & Kate Plus 8 shows up frequently and was seen "romantically kissing" a woman who was not his wife. [Radar Online]
• "Twilight fans fell in love with Robert Pattinson as a vampire who makes girls swoon. But in Little Ashes, which opens on Friday, the actor explores a relationship that could reshape his heartthrob image." No one wants you to forget that he sexes a dude in this flick. No one. [Reuters>]
• Another day, another Michael Jackson lawsuit; this one involves a former publicist who claims, "Mr. Jackson has elected not to honor the financial obligations of our contractual relationship." She wants $44 million. [TMZ, Reuters]
• Reese Witherspoon is thought to be connected to a man named John Witherspoon, who left Scotland in 1768 and went on to witness the signing of the Declaration of Independence. A BBC series, A History Of Scotland, will tell his story. [Daily Express]
• Guess who's started working out with Tracy Anderson — Gwyneth and Madonna's trainer? Emma Thompson. [Daily Express]
• Are cops in Massachusetts targeting celebs in Massachusetts? What's with all the searches on Tom Brady and Matt Damon? [E!]
• Dr. Phil has fired 15 members of his staff. "It was a bloodbath… People who had worked together for years suddenly were unemployed," says a source. Ouch! Someone call Oprah. [Perez]
• WTF headline of the day: "When Harry Met Tranny." (Daniel Radcliffe had dinner with a drag queen.) [The Sun]
• JJ Abrams says of the original TV series Star Trek: "I remember appreciating it, but feeling like I didn't get it." He was not a Trekkie! "I had no idea there had been 10 movies! I still haven't seen them all." [Guardian]
• Speaking of Trek, Zachary Quinto couldn't do Vulcan fingers while filming and JJ Abrams had to glue his fingers together. [Page Six]
• Director Robert Rodriguez was working on an adaptation of Barbarella — with Rose McGowan playing the Jane Fonda role, naturally — but the project is now dead. No orgasmatron! [MTV]
• Jennifer Aniston, Holly Hunter, Elizabeth Banks, Catherine Hardwicke and cinematographer Petra Korner will be honored at the 2009 Crystal + Lucy Awards, presented by Women in Film. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Katie Holmes will star in a thriller called Don't Be Afraid of the Dark, scripted by Guillermo del Toro. Xenu knows she could use a hit flick. [Variety]
• Robert De Niro and Edward Norton will star in an indie psychological thriller Stone, about a a correctional officer (De Niro) who is seduced by the wife of a convicted arsonist (Norton) up for parole. [Variety]
• Susan Boyle is now in the top 5 list of most watched viral videos, right under Soulja Boy and something called Achmed the Dead Terrorist. [NY Daily News]
• Megan Fox wants to be like George Clooney: "He's sarcastic, and he has a different girlfriend constantly. It's considered charismatic. He's like this James Bond, sexy dude. The older he gets, the better he gets. It's a double standard. To be outspoken, or different at all, is a problem for women. As soon as you curse or, God forbid, make some sort of sexual reference that's a joke, you're (labelled a party girl). They don't do that with men, so I feel it would be a lot easier." [Mirror]
• This was in Midweek Madness, but here it is again: Sarah Jessica Parker's surrogate is a "tattooed bisexual." The horrors. [The Sun]
• Liz Hurley thinks people look sexier in the country than in the city. Also, she likes to have sex on sheepskin rugs in front of fireplaces. [Daily Mail]
• In 2000, Jemima Khan's plane was hijacked; she says her hair turned white after the incident and she's had to dye it ever since. [Daily Express]
• A new biography reveals that Stephen King "spent most of the Eighties on an extended drug and alcohol binge which so fogged his mind that even today he cannot remember working on many of the books he wrote during that period." [Daily Mail]
• Ryan O'Neal says Farrah Fawcett has "lost her famous hair" from battling cancer. [Daily Express]
• Ryan O'Neal also says: "It's a love story. I just don't know how to play this one. I won't know this world without her." [People]
• Trent Reznor is pissed at Apple, because a Nine Inch Nails iPhone app was rejected for having 'objectionable content." [NY Daily News]
• RIP Stanley Tucci's wife, Kate. [Page Six]
• Olympic silver medalist Sasha Cohen is returning to competitive figure skating. Will we see her in Vancouver for the winter Olympics? [AP]
• Stephanie Tanner Jodie Sweetin is being sued for not paying her Home Owner's Association fees. How rude! [Perez]
• James McAvoy, Elizabeth Banks, Laura Linney and Anna Friel will star in The Details, a flick about a a couple who discover an infestation of raccoons in their back yard. [Variety]
• Rare Marilyn Monroe photographs for sale — on eBay. [UPI]
• Blind item! "Which film director could give Robert Pattinson a run for his money in the odor department? The big-time movie man smelled so badly during a recent shoot that even his actors couldn't stand to be around him!" [Gatecrasher]
• "Would I run for public office? A delegation of Democrats from Ohio asked me if I wanted to run for a Senate seat in 2004, and I said it was a tempting offer, but no. We already had an old actor in national politics, and it didn't work out so well. He shall remain nameless." — Martin Sheen. [Mirror]
• "The rumours aren't true. We aren't moving. So many people come up to me and say 'I hear you're moving.' We love America. We've been very happy here." — Victoria Beckham. [Mirror]
• "I've never changed my name officially. I never have and I never will. In my heart, I am still Ramon. I love the name. I would never give it up." — Martin Sheen. [Mirror]
• "I'd like to see Benson and Stabler get together...but I can't let that happen. Mariska [Hargitay] and I have been a wonderful, solid married couple now for 10 years-we see each other more than our families. It's just nice to get a different dynamic in there every once in a while." — Chris Meloni. [E!]
• "I'm looking for an encyclopaedia and a dictionary. A bit of the Boy Scouts Handbook. A person who is conscientious about the trail he leaves behind him. I'm attracted to intelligence and creativity and passion — and not necessarily the romantic kind. I want to learn from someone who is greedy for information and light and laughter and the whole world." — Renée Zellweger, on what she looks for in a man. [Mirror via Glamour]
• "We know the people whose lives are on the line-those who identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender-will be there. But we need everyone there. Especially straight people." — Charlize Theron, who is encouraging Californians to attend a Meet In The Middle For Equality rally in Fresno. [E!]
• "I'm a big fan of Tyra's! She is sexy. I mean, I don't really get obsessed with anyone, but Tyra is definitely hot." — Idris Elba. [Gatecrasher]
• "I'm not fiddling about with myself. We're in this awful youth-driven thing now where everybody needs to look 30 at 60 . This is the law of diminishing returns. The trick is to age honestly and gracefully and make it look great so that everyone looks forward to it." — Emma Thompson. [Daily Express]

• Shanna Moakler, Co-Executive Director of the Miss California Organization, has confirmed that the pageant paid for Miss California Carrie Prejean's breast implants.

Moakler also says Miss California is not speaking to her right now. But she doesn't want Miss California stripped of her crown: "I don't want to fire her! I think she's a great, young girl, and I got into pageants, because I want to help young girls. I want to guide young girls. I know what pageants [did] for me and I know what it can do for young women and also working within the community." Uh-huh. Sure. Moakler also says: "I don't want to fire Carrie. I want her to use her platform, because this is her platform, I didn't know she was this passionate about it… I'm glad I know now and I support and will help her, but…" [Access Hollywood]

• Sarah Jessica Parker is talking about the twins she is expecting (through a surrogate): "It's been a complicated past few weeks… My main concern is that my husband and son [James Wilkie, now 6 years old] have enough time. Hopefully, our son is feeling loved and taken care of." [Gatecrasher]
• Don't speak! No Doubt reunites tomorrow for its first live performance in five years… on the Today show. So rock and roll. [NY Daily News]
• Chief Justice Lovemore Munlo of Malawi will lead a panel in Madonna's appeal case; Madge wants to overturn the court's decision to reject her application to adopt 3-year-old Mercy. Her Madgesty is not required to attend the hearing on May 4. Think she'll make an appearance? [People]
• The Daily Fail spoke to Mercy's biological father, who has never MET Mercy, but says: "She is my daughter; she is my blood; she needs parental love. She is not an orphan. She lost one parent, yes, but I am still alive and so she is not an orphan. Madonna has millions of dollars but that doesn't make her a good mum. Parental love is more than money. Besides, I don't think Madonna is a model mum. I have seen her in movies of her songs. She doesn't portray good morals. How can a woman of 50 dance almost naked on stage? I wouldn't want my daughter to grow up like that! In Malawi women respect themselves. Cultured women do not go about half-naked." It goes on, but you get the point. [Daily Mail, NY Post]
• Meanwhile, Madonna is looking for a place in the Hamptons, but the peeps in the Hamptons seem to think she may be a pain in the ass. [Page Six]
• So remember the report that claimed Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's bodyguard was writing a tell-all book? He says: "No, no, no. I'm not writing a tell-all book. I don't know where this story came from. It's not true." Dammit! [MSNBC via Life & Style]
• Rihanna's father sounds absolutely overjoyed when he says: "[Rihanna is] a different person, back to herself. It's like Chris never existed. She seems reborn. She's realizing how precious life is." [MSNBC]
• Nadya Suleman, mother of octuplets, wants to sue sources from In Touch magazine who claim she was a stripper. "I've never even met a stripper in my life," she says. [MSNBC]
• Bottoms up: Justin Timberlake's new tequila, 901, is "actually a really nice product," says a "tequila geek" and bar owner. "It has a nice richness to it, a full-body mouth feel, a nice finish." That's what she said? [NY Daily News]
• In this article, entertainment professionals and insiders list nine things Lindsay Lohan should do to save her career. Examples: do some charity work, develop self-discipline, focus. [NY Daily News]
• Uh-oh: Paula Abdul was "totally fooled" by Bruno, the character Sacha Baron Cohen plays in his upcoming flick. [Page Six]
• Spotted: Ryan Gosling having dinner with a "mystery model." [Page Six]
• Heidi Klum says Susan Boyle could be a good Project Runway guest. "She could be a good challenge." Is that a compliment? [E!]
• Early reviews for Wolverine are not good; critics call it "noisy and impersonal" and "silly and typical" and "a keen disappointment." However. Everyone will see it anyway and it will surely win the box office and be a "hit." [Reuters]
• Hugh Hefner says he does not want Holly Madison to be his girlfriend again. "The notion that I would want her back as a girlfriend is bizarre. I am now in one of the best relationships in memory with Crystal Harris and the twins. I'm not going to screw it up with former girlfriends." [E!]
• Prison Break star Lane Garrison went from prison to Jessica Simpson's house. He says "I'm blessed to be alive." Garrison was incarcerated for 19 months for a DUI crash that killed one person; Jessica's father Joe was his youth minister in Texas, so he's close to the fam. [E!]
• Top Gun star Kelly McGillis has come out: She is a lesbian. She says her next partner would "definitely be a woman." And: "I'm done with the man thing. It's a part of being true to yourself. That's been a challenge for me personally." [This Is London]
• Usher is allowing the Boys and Girls Club of America to use a childhood photo of him in their ad campaign. He looks cute! [USA Today]
• Simon Cowell's first gig in showbiz was to polish the axe Jack Nicholson used in The Shining. Apropos? [The Sun]
• Unauthorized Diana Ross biography: In the works. Guess what? She's being painted as "ambitious." THE SCANDAL. [Variety]
• Do we like this picture of Chelsea Handler with a man between her legs? [E!]
• Tony Blair, Kate Winslet and other celebs have contributed to a book of butterfly pictures compiled in memory of a young woman who died from leukemia. [Telegraph]
• "Jailed Jack Tweed [widow of Jade Goody] turned tail and ran from the showers in prison - after THREE encounters with naked gay star Boy George." [The Sun]
• Redmond O'Neal — son of Farrah Fawcett and Ryan O'Neal — pleaded not guilty yesterday to the felony charge that he brought drugs to jail. [ET]
• A settlement has been reached in the defamation lawsuit filed against Dr. Phil by a witness in O.J. Simpson's robbery case. [AP]
• Blind item: "Which starlet's constant state of inebriation is causing problems in her marriage? Her hubby hates having to physically remove her from nightclubs." [Gatecrasher]
• "CSI will beat the hell out of him." — CEO of Viacom and CBS, Sumner Redstone, on Jay Leno having a show on at 10pm. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• "I don't think it's irrelevant because I am sure there are still people out there who are living it up… I think the show is taken for what it is — it's a piece of entertainment and that's the value and that's the worth." — Ed Westwick, on Gossip Girl. [Mirror]
• "The worst thing about Ricky as a director is that if something is funny at all and it was improvisational, he breaks and laughs and ruins your take. I would say, 'It's your movie. Just leave, go in another room. Let me just do it.' He's like, 'Just do it again.' I said, 'Ricky, it's not the same. You suck.' But he knew exactly what he wanted." — Jennifer Garner on working with Ricky Gervais in The Invention Of Lying. [The Star]
• "It's got to be the right story. You can't make The Dark Knight and then come out with something disappointing. The fact is I have to. Chris doesn't. So I'm in a fix if he says he doesn't want to." — Christian Bale, concerned that director Chris Nolan has yet to sign on for another Batman flick. (Bale is contractually obligated to star in a third movie.) [Daily Express]
• Q:You're featured on the gossip website Gawker all the time. Do websites like that annoy you? A: "No, I'm not somebody who reads about what I'm actually up to that week - which usually they get wrong. Maybe you can pass the word on to anybody who reads these sites or who sees their kids on them that most of the time these people are making stuff up. If people want to really know what's up with me then they can read one of my interviews." — Chuck Bass, ahem, Ed Westwick. [Guardian]
• "I've had my garbage stolen… I think tabloid journalism has become so pervasive is that it gives people the chance to feel better about themselves in a slightly sick way. A lot of it is 'Stars are just like us! They have cellulite and bad eating habits and drug problems!' There are a lot of celebrities that are more than happy to share every last detail about their lives until there's no mystery left whatsoever." — Ryan Reynolds. [USA Today]
• "I'm doing my part to save the planet. You know that new Aston Martin Vantage? I didn't buy it. You're welcome, Earth!" — Jon Hamm. [Gatecrasher]
• "It has truly never been my intention to be a performer, and I think it's probably best that I stop performing pretty soon and start writing. [Acting] is like a big red herring. I kind of want to stop it, really." — Tilda Swinton would rather be a poet. [The Daily Beast]
• "We look around. We see what we want. Don't you look around and see what you want to look like? I'm, like, look, Michelle Obama's guns. I could have those arms. I don't know about the legs." — Kirstie Alley, to Oprah. [People]

• Is Ashley Olsen getting married? The National Enquirer thinks so. It'll happen on the French Riviera next summer; she wants Karl Lagerfeld to make the dress and Annie Leibovitz to take the pix. Oh, the hubs-to-be is boyfriend Justin Bartha. [Daily Express]
• Ryan Reynolds ran the NYC marathon! His time? 3 hours and 50 minutes, faster than he anticipated. "It was an incredible experience," he says. He was asked how he'd celebrate and claimed: "I'll probably celebrate by eating my own body weight in raw dough." [People]
• Heh, things were "frosty" between Tina Fey and John McCain on Saturday Night Live. [MSNBC]
• A "crazed" Madonna fan stormed on to the set of Guy Ritchie's new movie and threatened to kill him. The teenager had a knife and was shouting, "I love Madonna." He was arrested, though if he were cast in Guy Ritchie's movie, that would be believable. [Mirror]
• Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's kids went trick-or-treating in Malibu on Friday. Maddox was a Marine; Zahara was a Jolly Green Giant; Shiloh was a sheriff. Need pix!!! [Star Magazine]

• Ooh, check out Angelina's eyes on the cover of British Harper's Bazaar. [ONTD]
• The head of rap label Def Jam died Saturday: Shakir Stewart, who succeeded Jay-Z as VP in June, committed suicide. [Reuters]
• Daniel Craig talks about his arm: "I tore my shoulder when we were making Casino Royale and it started to ache during Quantum Of Solace. I went to see a surgeon and had reconstructive surgery - I had six pins put in. So now I can't really move my arm and it's a little painful, but I'm having physio every day, and it's healing well." [Daily Mail]
• Lindsay Lohan will have her deposition videotaped in Samantha Ronson's ongoing lawsuit against her former attorney. She has a lot of conditions, though, and wants the transcripts to be destroyed when the case is over. [E!]
• Lindsay was supposed to host the World Music Awards in Monaco next weekend, but she's been replaced by, um, Denise Richards. Downgrade! [Mirror]
• Simon Cowell and girlfriend Terri Seymour: Dunzo. She ended it after 6 years. Want to guess who doesn't believe in marriage? [Newser.com]
• After Terri broke up with him, Simon allegedly said "Thank God! " [Daily Mail]
• Terri wanted kids, Simon did not. [Mirror]
• Simon also says: "You know, the most incredible thing I’ve seen on TV for absolutely ages was the Sarah Palin/Joe Biden debate. I watched it for an hour and there wasn’t one second I wasn’t completely riveted. I would love to bring the concept of the American presidential debate to Britain. I know I could engage the audience, get people involved." [Daily Mail]
• Peaches Geldof walked out of a London store with an item of clothing draped over her arm and didn't pay for it. A shopkeeper ran out and confronted Peaches, who said it was an accident. Apparently this is the fourth time she's walked out of a store without paying for clothes, although it seems like she always has a good excuse. [Mirror]
• Joaquin Phoenix, who is retiring from acting, might be back on drugs: He was "out of it" at a tribute to Paul Newman last week in San Francisco. Grief-stricken, maybe? [Page Six]
• Peaches' husband's band has a new single, "She Loves Everybody," about a controlling, insecure girl who craves affection. [Mirror]
• Amy Winehouse has gained weight and is trying to stop smoking. She's still hooked on sugar, however. [Mirror]
• Oh, wait, Amy Winehouse is back in the hospital. It seems to be related to the chest infection she had last week. Or her emphysema. [People]
• A New Zealand TV journalist is being investigated and might lose her job after a "trainwreck" interview with Pink; it seems the woman's sister used to be Pink's assistant and the reporter ambushed the pop star with questions about why she'd fired her sister. [News.com.au]
• More weird New Zealand news: A pizza chain used a Halloween ad which featured skeletal animations of the Queen Mother, Sir Edmund Hillary and Heath Ledger dancing on gravestones. The company has apologized. [Times of London]
• In case you couldn't already guess, Tyra is endorsing Barack Obama. [Yahoo News]
• Usher is taking a year off from music to travel the world and find "inspiration." Good luck! [Mirror]
• Jessica Simpson's BFF, stylist Ken Paves, had his face bloodied during a paparazzi crush outside of an L.A. restaurant. There were so many cameras swarming that some guy accidentally hit Ken near his eye with a camera. Jess and Ken made it to the car, and went directly to the hospital. [TMZ]
• Bruno, aka Sacha Baron Cohen, crashed a rally banning gay marriage in California. [Yahoo New]
• There was a memorial for Jennifer Hudson's family members, including nephew Julian King, on Sunday. His second-grade teacher read from journals written by his classmates. [AP]
• Melanie "Scary Spice" Brown is renewing her vows in Egypt, but Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham doesn't plan to attend. Snubby spice? [The Sun]
• It appears to be really and truly on between Criss Angel and Holly Madison. If you have a strong stomach, gaze upon this image of them kissing. [TMZ]
• Mindy McCready is out of jail. [E!]
• Here's a video in which Senator John McCain meets Anna Nicole Smith, one of her "biggest fans." [Politico]
• Brad Pitt and Leonardo DiCaprio have Oscar buzz for The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and Revolutionary Road, but Oscar voters tend to like it when actors play real people. [Reuters]
• Nigella Lawson once made her kids give their Christmas gifts to charity. "I wanted them to think about how lucky they are," she explains. Hmm, could work, could make them harbor resentment. [The Sun]
• Bon Jovi's being sued for £250,000 after one of the rock group's entourage allegedly deliberately ran over a woman with a golf cart at a concert. [Telegraph]
• Viggo Mortensen is in a film adaptation of a play about about an ordinary man in 1930s Germany being slowly co-opted by the Nazis. He says the story has relevance today; "You don't need to be some kind of bookworm or political activist; little and big decisions that individuals make in society on a daily basis are what any country is." [LA Times]
• LL Cool J has been inducted into the Long Island, NY Music Hall Of Fame. Didn't know there was such a thing, but, congrats? [UPI]
• Natalie Portman and Rashida Jones have made a very important election-related video you simply must watch. [Funny Or Die]
• Is Sienna Miller's relationship with Balthazar Getty fizzling out? [Mirror, Daily Mail]
• In an op-ed about paparazzi and papers vs. celebrities — especially Sienna Miller, who's gone to court seeking damages for a "campaign of harassment" by photographers, this writer states: "We have no right to invade people's privacy, but we do have a time honoured journalistic tradition of doing so that I would hate to see disappear." [Independent]
• Kylie Minogue would love to be an actress: "I’d love to do a comedy." [The Sun]
• It's weird to think about Dakota Fanning as 14-year-old sophomore and varsity cheerleader in real life, but that is what she is. [USA Today]
• Elle UK asked Kelly Osbourne to be part of a photography portfolio celebrating friendship and love; she decided to do it with her boyfriend. "My boyfriend is my best friend," she says. "We always go shopping together, we like going to music festivals and we chat on the phone a thousand times a day." [Elle UK]
• Haven't heard about these two in a while, but Nelly says he and Ashanti are "serious." They've been on and off since 2003. [People]
• Here's a piece about how stars change shape for films. A former Royal Marine who has worked on the last five James Bond films, has also been training with Jake Gyllenhaal for Prince Of Persia. He says: "Most actors are athletes nowadays. Their fitness is a big factor in whether they get cast or not. Jake has to look like a warrior capable of sword-fighting, not like he's been hitting the gym. He is working out twice, sometimes three times a day, six days a week, for three to four months on top of stunt rehearsals before filming begins." Ready to go back to bed? [Times of London]
• Did Paris Hilton steal Benji Madden from Sophie Monk? This was 8 months ago, if you care. [News.com.au]
• Johnny Carson's former lawyer is calling the Tonight Show host a sad, depressed man who cheated on his wives and was tormented by his mother. Tears of a clown? [Page Six]
• Whoa: Mickey Rourke once planned to kill a man and then commit suicide, because the guy had raped a woman he knew. [The Sun]
• The Pet Shop Boys will be presented with an outstanding contribution to music award at next year's Brit Awards, which means Simon Cowell won't get it. What have I, what have I, what have I done to deserve this? [BBC News, Mirror]
• The Communist Party of St. Petersburg must not have much to do, because they're pissed at "Bond girl" Olga Kurylenko for "sleeping with the West." [UPI]
• Jean-Claude Van Damme canceled promotional appearances for a film because one of his dogs is in a coma. Tragic! [Page Six]
• "Kate Winslet is always naked, sitting on a toilet, running buck-naked. She's free. I want to be the kind of actress who can really be comfortable with my body like that" — Halle Berry in Elle. [Page Six]
• "I've kept in touch with William — he's really good looking. But I prefer Harry, he's more my type." — Paris Hilton on the Princes. [Mirrror]
• "I need you to make the best sub you have ever made because it's for Snoop Dogg," A "handler" to a Subway employee in Australia. [News.com.au]
• "I've always been a slow starter. My first date was with a girl called Cessi. We had a beautiful relationship over the phone all summer and then when we met I couldn't look her in the eye." — Leonardo DiCaprio. [Guardian]
• "I don't know if seniors like me at all. I think they're a little sick of me. I think they say, 'Get off! We just want to rest.' I thought I was wonderful. Then I saw a replay. I couldn't believe I was just one, two, three, turn. I didn't have the spunk I thought I had." — Cloris Leachman, on her final Dancing With The Stars performance. [Newsweek]
• "Owen Wilson is so divine in this film. I've never seen him play a part like this. He was a man; he was a husband; he was a father. And I feel like, how brave of him, to walk through the year that he walked through." — Jennifer Aniston on her Marley And Me costar. [LA Times]
• "It's a different part of my life. I try and look back on it with fondness but when I'm reminded of it I'm really embarrassed… Honestly, I really hoped my daughter wouldn't see it, otherwise she'd never listen to a thing I say again. I thought I was the coolest guy in the world but really I was just a jackass." — Mark Wahlberg on his "Marky Mark" music career. [Telegraph]
• "If someone starts talking to me negatively about something they've never actually studied that actual text of, I don't really admire them very much because it shows they don't have much integrity, so I just kind of ignore them. I'm not going to listen to gossip and hearsay about something that's affected my life so tremendously in such a tremendously positive way. It's a new religion. Historically every new religion has been [dismissed]. People were hanged, fed to the lions for their beliefs so this is just a modern day evolution of what happens when something new comes into our culture. It is not fully understood yet. I've seen drug addicts completely rehabilitated, I've seen the illiterate become literate, I've seen people that were so depressed and hopeless completely rehabilitate their goals in life, become happier, find partners. It's beautiful." — Jenna Elfman on Scientology. [Perez Hilton]
• "Every other guy I've been out with has used me for money or sex — but in most cases they just want fame. It made it hard to trust people… I loved this guy for three years but he betrayed me. Rick’s a scumbag and I hate him. It was just the most horrible thing that’s ever happened to me. So humiliating and embarrassing. But at the end of the day, I didn’t do anything wrong. I’ve found someone who loves me for me. Benji’s my best friend and I know he’d never hurt me." — Paris Hilton. [News Of The World]
• "To go on about acting as art is ridiculous. You don’t have to be gifted just to hit a mark and a line. As far as I’m concerned, that’s 90 per cent of the job. Anyone who finds acting difficult just shouldn’t be doing it." — Kurt Russell. [Daily Express]
• "I'm thinking, 'If this guy (Jesus) can die for mankind, the least I can do is quit smoking. I really felt an epiphany was happening. I even thought I saw a light around me. Four hours later, I bought a packet of Marlboro Reds. Who am I kidding? I need a cigarette." — Gerard Butler, on his religious experience at the Church of the Holy Sepulcher in Jerusalem, Israel. [ONTD]
• "I shaved my back just in case. I went fully bare, like a two year old. I was ready. I didn't want to be too real for the world. I don't think the world is too ready for a hairy back in a love scene. Has there ever been a sex scene with Robin Williams? People don't want to see that. That would border on bestiality." — Seth Rogen, on preparing himself for Zack And Miri Make A Porno. [Daily Express]

• Christian Bale's "assault" against his mother is part of a long-simmering feud. Apparently Christian's been estranged from his mother and sister, Jenny and Sharon Bale, since he sided with his father when his parents divorced in the early '90s. Christian "reluctantly" agreed to meet with them at his London hotel right before the premiere of The Dark Knight but soon realized they were there to hit him up for money. An argument ensued; Christian demanded they leave his suite and allegedly pushed his mother out of the door. Snubbed, his mother went and told her "assault" story; she's trying to sell it to media outlets as well. [Chicago Sun Times]
• Christian Bale singed autographs and posed for photos at the Madrid premiere of Dark Knight last night but did not speak to reporters, duh. By the by, he has not been formally charged with anything. [People]
• Christian's relationship with his wife? Solid. [E!]
• P.S.: Aaron Eckhart has agreed to be in a third Batman film. [ONTD]

• Princess diaries? The FBI has seized Anne Hathaway's journals and will scour the pages looking for info about her ex, Raffaello Follieri. Anne's apparently cut off all contact with Follieri and changed her numbers; a source says, "Raffaello has been trying to call her all the time." He's not doing to well in prison — and wonders if Anne helped put him behind bars. This is going to make a great movie of the week! [Rush & Molloy]
• Brad Pitt's lawyers have sent cease-and-desist letters to photo agencies after paparazzi used "highly powerful telephoto lenses" to get pics — maybe of the twins? [Rush & Molloy]
• Sienna Miller is suing over those shots of her cavorting with Balthazar Getty. She's claiming breach of privacy — and since she won a judgment in December regarding nude pictures of her on the set of Hippie Hippie Shake — she might have a shot. [People]
• Apparently Sienna's pubic hair is being digitally enhanced for Hippie Hippie Shake, a source says, because "the film is set in the swinging '60s when fashion was wild and body hair even wilder… Unfortunately, Brazilians weren't common in the '60s… Sienna's private parts were digitally enhanced, giving her a rather unruly, loud and proud bush." [Mirror]
• Britney's mom ran over a bike-riding young boy with her car and killed him. In 1975. But a source says, "To this day, Lynne hasn't gotten over what she did. She gets that terrified look in her eye when she is thinking about it." Lynne was rushing her injured brother to the hospital when the accident happened. [National Enquirer]
• Singer, fashion designer, actress and mother of two Jennifer Lopez is training for a triathalon, because you don't aleady feel bad enough about yourself. [MSNBC]
• Madonna's brother says his book doesn't even contain everything he wanted to reveal about Madge. "There are plenty of things I left out of the book," he swears. "And things that the lawyers and editors took out." [MSNBC]
• 50 Cent is suing Taco Bell for using his image in an ad campaign without his permission. The ads suggested that Fiddy change his name to 79, 89 or 99 Cent to help promote The Bell's penny-saving deals. 50 doesn't do fast food deals. Who does Taco Bell they think they are, Vitamin Water? [E!]
• Um, Pete Doherty is trying to turn his dead cat into a ring for Kate Moss. Shelley was Kate's fave cat when Kate and Pete were together. Pete's supposedly using that company that turns ashes into gems but yeah. Ugh. [ONTD]
• Let's do the time warp again: MTV is developing a remake of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. A reader writes: "MTV has ruined EVERYTHING WE LOVED. I don't even know how to deal. Seriously, my emotions on this subject are majorly conflicted. I'm sad, which makes me want chocolate cake, but I'm also homicidal, which makes me want chicken fingers." [ONTD, Variety]
• Ethan Hawke and his wife Ryan Shawhughes welcomed a daughter, Clementine Jane Hawke, last Friday. [Us Magazine]
• Lindsay Lohan's cameo role on Ugly Betty is that of Kimberley, Betty's high school nemesis, who is now a fast food waitress. [Mirror]
• Angelina Jolie us the first choice of leading lady in The Thomas Crown Affair 2, which is too bad because no one can be as hot as Rene Russo was in the 1999 version, which, btw, was a remake. [Mirror]
• Peaches Geldof says all that matters is "love, art and music," because they are the only "pure things in life." Then she was spotted with a drug vial necklace. [The Sun]
• Kelsey Grammer nearly died after his heart attack last month. "They had to blast me twice and get me started all over again," he says. Insert something about tossed salads and scrambled eggs here. [Yahoo News]
• Nick Hogan is moving from the juvenile section into the general population of the Pinellas County Jail. He'll be one of 3,300 adult inmates, gulp. [E!]
• A nanny fired on Jordan's reality show is suing the "glamour model" also called Katie Price. The nanny says her privacy was infringed on. [Mirror]
• Here is a story from Pigeon Forge, TN: "Two 14-week-old American bald eagles named by Disney star Miley Cyrus and her country singer father, Billy Ray Cyrus, will be released into the wild Thursday at the foothills of the Great Smoky Mountains. The American Eagle Foundation has released more than 90 eagles from Dolly Parton's Dollywood theme park in East Tennessee since the 1990s." [Yahoo News]
• A man has been charged with stalking Lorne Michaels. The dude believes his thoughts were being stolen by Michaels and then used as SNL fodder. That's just good writing! [E!]
• Avril Lavigne "hates her fangs" and is planning on getting her teeth filed down by a cosmetic dentist. Her punk attitude will remain intact. [Star]
• Elton John has a Ben & Jerry's flavor named after him. Goodbye Yellow Brickle Road is a yummy blend of chocolate ice cream, peanut butter cookie dough, butter brickle and white chocolate chunks and it's only available for a limited time. [ET]
• Remember Jasmine Guy, Whitley from A Different World? She's having messy divorce problems. [Yahoo News]
• Mindy McCready is in rehab; her 2-year-old son is in the care of her mother. [Yahoo News]
• Matt LeBlanc's former manager is suing him and Matt says Camille Cerio has a "major depressive disorder." [TMZ]
• "I hope to be married in the next five years." — Derek Jeter. [Page Six]
• "She's at that point where she can call me and say, 'Hey Dad, what's up? What time are you going to get me?' It's really cool. We talk every day. It's hard for me to be the tough guy with my daughter. Maybe I should work on the discipline stuff, but I could leave her mother to do that!… Look at me and the way I live: I ride my bicycle, I walk, I don't have a driver. That's how I keep her grounded. Her mom does a good job too – she's not that person that everyone thinks. She's very laidback and cool." — Carlos Leon on his relationship with daughter Lourdes, aka Lola. [People]

Lohan is thinking outside of the box, though. She recently revealed that she’s got a business idea to carry her over until her next windfall: She’ll be starting her own line of leggings. Lohan told Life & Style, “It will be a while before it comes out, but I’m going to do it. Some of them will have prints and some will have patterns. I love leggings.”

[www.msnbc.msn.com]

After being told that a freebie demo was out of the question, I decided to just fork over the cash (or rather, expense the bill) and pay for the damn thing. As far as desirable accessories goes, this one is really affordable: A one-time installation fee of $50 - $100, and a daily monitoring fee of $10 - $15. Not bad, right? So I decided to just enroll in the SCRAM alcohol monitoring program voluntarily, a la Lohan. Easier said than done! Actually, it's practically impossible. After reading the company's FAQ, I instant-messaged Anna yesterday and was like, "I'm beginning to question whether Lindsay's bracelet is a bunch of bullshit." Imagine my self-satisfaction when I woke up this morning to the news that I was most likely right.

I'm not saying that the bracelet itself is bullshit. I'm saying that Lindsay's enrollment in the program is. Actually, the SCRAM bracelet, and the system that runs it, is sophisticated and is probably the most effective alcohol screener around, in that it monitors the "offender" (that's how they refer to them in the literature provided by the company) 24/7, through the toxins in the sweat emitted from the body. The scientific explanation is here. The bracelet detects the booze sweat, and then sends a signal to the SCRAM modem, which sends a signal to the monitoring center, where a human sitting behind a laptop will see that the wearer has been knocking 'em back.

While researching how I'd be able to get my leg in one of those things, it became obvious that I'd have to make up some elaborate lie about why I needed to be monitored, and even that didn't guarantee the privilege, because the bracelets and the monitoring system need to be court-ordered, as part of a condition of bond, parole, or a re-entry program, etc. So I immediately became suspicious of LiLo's "voluntary" involvement with the program. I imagined that for her, the bracelet was like any other clothing item or accessory—for appearances only. Fashion over function.

But the thing is, even if Linds was enrolled in the program, did any of us (her lawyers, handlers, parents included) think that booze was her main vice? Proving that she's not drinking does nothing to prove her sobriety. As far as my limited knowledge on this device goes, SCRAM does not detect coke, weed, or pills, including ecstasy (as she was rumored to be in the market for during her recent post-rehab Vegas bash).

If Lindsay's blood alcohol level at the time of her arrest was .14, as it's been reported, then she would have been drinking for a while. The human being behind the laptop at the monitoring place would've seen that and alerted whomever was on the call list, and that person would've been able to prevent her from getting behind the wheel. But none of that happened.

Lindsay's lawyer has recently issued a statement to TMZ saying, "Unfortunately, late yesterday I was informed that Lindsay had relapsed. The bracelet has now been removed." I have a feeling that she was informed of the relapse because she was on the receiving end of the one phone call Linds was allowed to make from the slammer. Perhaps the statement would've been more succinct had she said, "Uh, the jig is up!"

Related: Is The Scram A Sham? [TMZ]
SCRAM [AlcoholMonitoringSystems]

[Hollywood, July 22. Image via X17]

• OMG trouble in "Coke N Bloke" paradise! The fame slut Lindsay Lohan is sleeping with attracts his own fame slut who blabs about it to the gossip press in an episode that vaguely recalls that time Shar Jackson and Jason Alexander went on a date. Sure, act like you don't remember that. [Rush & Molloy]
• We're not sure whether Britney is attending the Lohan School of Sobriety or if it's the other way around so we're just going with both of them being equally rigorous followers of the Bukowski method. [Cindy Adams]
• The body issues of the boxing world continue to totally gross us out: What does Sylvester Stallone need with 48 vials of human growth hormone at age 60? Maybe he's selling to Khaliah Ali. [Globe & Mail]
• Which pair of Texan sisters suddenly seems to have changed places, with the former party girl disappearing from the club scene while the former brunette bookwoorm parties up a storm? No, not The Simpsons! The ones with the Secret Service detail who arrive in matching white linen outfits! [Page Six]

• After a tiff with the boyfriend, Kate Bosworth heads to Pete Wentz's sex-in-the-bathroom bar with Helena Christensen for a "girl's night." We wish that sounded lesbo or something but actually, it probably just involved a lot of coke. [Page Six]
• We have never been to Bungalow 8, but the slow news day news of Petra Namcova necking Stavros Niarchos there made us guess it must be like the Cheers of the plutotrash, with Stavros as Sam, Paris as Diane and probably one of those soundtracks that makes you want to cut yourself. [Page Six]

• After a super low-key and abstemious week in New York, Lindsay and Callum Best let loose a bit in the Bahamas at one of those super understated resorts populated by close friends Gloria Estefan, Steve Tyler and the Village People. [Rush & Mulloy]
  
• Razorlight concert attracts likes of Kate Bosworth, Mary Kate Olsen, Kirsten Dunst (who dates lead singer Johnny Borrell). We have never listened to Razorlight, but we have an inkling there may be some finger foods going uneaten backstage! [Gatecrasher]
  
• Sheryl Crow adopts a baby boy, mercifully abstains from naming him one of those hippie names like "Woodland" or "Sierra" or "Emission Tax Credit" or some shit. [Sherylcrow.com]
  
• We have basically been waiting for our entire lifetimes for a Fergie-Sarah Ferguson collabo. For the children! (And the retarded at heart) [Rush & Mulloy]

• All those dudes who pumped their fists a little while pledging to see Spiderman 3 last weekend made good on their words. [Nikki Finke]
• Iggy Pop on modeling the Stooges' steez on Egyptian pharaohs: "Those guys look bitchin', they never wear shirts." [Page Six]
• Drea de Matteo is prego with some country singer who promised to put the O back in country. We have never paid any attention to these people but from the sounds of their Wikipedia entries the kid is actually getting a good shot at gene-wise being in the top tenth percentile of the celeb spawn kindergarten class. [Page Six]
• Following on the footsteps of similar actions by Replacements and Dinosaur Jr. frontmen Paul Westerberg and J. Mascis, respectively, Beyonce reveals that Destiny's Child may reunite.
• Gossip press rips "New Yoko Ono" title from Ashlee Simpson, bestows it upon Sienna Miller. Because Pete Wentz was less deserving of the John Lennon parallels than a supposed rock star who is also a model. [Gatecrasher]

Lindsay Lohan may have thought she was hot stuff when she got a "chipped manicure" to give her a rocker-girl chic look, but Sienna Miller is taking this season's black nail trend to a new level. The Factory Girl actress was spotted with a bashed black thumb at New York's JFK airport when she was yapping in the customs area (where cell phones are banned) about her bleeding thumb. Could the trendsetting Brit manage to bring back self-mutilation?

http://www.nypost.com/seven/12052006/gossip/pagesix/sienna_flies_by_her_own_rules_pagesix_.htm