Now that she's a wife and mother, there were some tweaks made to Kendra's theme song. (Instead of "You're on your own now," it's "You're not alone now.")


I really love that she uses it as her ring tone.


Kendra's reluctance to remove the gizzard from the Thanksgiving turkey foreshadowed her impending labor. (Also, I love that she refers to surgical masks as "SARS masks.")


After being induced and suffering through labor for over 24 hours, Kendra's doctor finally decided to give her a C-section. What's terrifying to me is that she's screaming "Ouch! Ouch!" Why is it still hurting!?

It's difficult to tell how much of this whole plot was fabricated for TV, but even if it was 100% fake, that somehow makes it even crazier—that they'd actually agree to going along with a storyline that involves mothers and boners.


I really like this family's sense of humor.

1.) Snooki is an honorary Latina.
George Lopez bestowed the honor on her because she "can take a punch."


2.) Pauly D wants to pose for Playgirl.
He said that he has to give the public what they want.


3.) Trivia is not one of the cast members' strengths.
Neither is math, really.


4.) Pauly D spends at least $60 a week on gel.
And his hair is very hard to the touch.


5.) They all upstage Mike Tyson.
And confuse him, as well.


6.) They're proud to be called guidos and guidettes.
It's a compliment, according to Snooki.


7.) Snooki believes she'd lose a fight against Kristin Cavallari.
But she also believes that she could party harder than Kristin.


8.) They're not bad actors.

• A Florida judge refused to block the prosecution in Casey Anthony's murder trial from seeing the death penalty. Lawyers for Anthony, who is accused of murdering her 2-year-old daughter, claimed that the state seeking the death penalty violated her constitutional rights. The judge said whether or not Anthony should face the death penalty is a decision for the jury to make. • Banita Jacks, who was found in her Washington, D.C. home last year with her four daughters' decomposing bodies, was sentenced to 120 years in prison today for murdering the girls. The judge rejected the defense's suggestion that the four 30 year sentences be served concurrently, and their claim that she's wasn't competent when she rejected their advice to plead insanity. • Two British boys have been charged with the rape of an 8-year-old girl. At 10 years old, they are the youngest children to be charged with rape in the history of England. The assault occurred at a park, where the three children had gone to play on the jungle gym. The boys have been released on bail, and will return to court on January 2nd. • Members of the U.S. Commission on Civil Rights voted today to subpoena data from 19 colleges to investigate whether some schools favor men in their admission process. The probe is based on news reports and anecdotal evidence that colleges discriminate against women to maintain an even gender balance. A mix of schools near D.C. were chosen as a sample of U.S. colleges, not because they're specifically suspected of discrimination. •  A new book, The Death of American Virtue, reveals that Monika Lewinsky believes Bill Clinton lied to a federal jury about their affair. The author quotes a letter from Lewinsky, which reads: "There was no leeway on the veracity of his statements because they asked him detailed and specific questions to which he answered untruthfully." •  According to a new study from Canada, 10 to 15% of women have maladaptive eating behaviors. However, out of the 1,500 women interviewed, not one had anorexia, and the most common disordered behavior was binge eating. 2.5% also admitted to using laxatives, diuretics or vomiting to purge. • The Court of Arbitration for Sport rejected a motion from Marion Jones' relay teammates at the 2000 Olympics to overturn the International Olympic Committee's decision to strip them of their gold medals after Jones admitted to doping. The ruling was a setback, but the court will hold a full hearing on the case next year. •  Billie Piper, the actress who played Belle in the TV series The Secret Diary of a Call Girl and Dr. Brooke Magnanti, the woman behind the Belle du Jour blog and book, will meet in person on a television documentary, Billie and the Call Girl Bare All. It will be "the last world on what it was like to be Belle - how my sexuality was formed, how I came to the work and what it's like to be portrayed on TV," said Dr. Magnanti. •

Literally!

I don't know what surprises/confuses me more: That they blurred out Snooki's underwear, or that she was wearing any at all.

JWoww described Snooki's dancing at Karma as "the best thing I ever saw in my life." I'd have to agree with her completely. Seriously, though, I've watched them dance so much over the past few episodes, that I'm starting to think it looks really fun, and I've become interested in "beatin' up the beat," as Pauly D would say.

Also, like Snooki says, "It's not sexual. It's fuckin' house music."

Meanwhile, Sammi and Ronnie had a fight. It was serious! It was no joke! (But it's OK to laugh. She is letting her hair down, one extension at a time.)

And then they "smooshed." (Smooshed=fucked.)

Also, how great was Ronnie's use of the term "the equation." That's going to be their celebrity couple nickname.

Speaking of nicknames, The Situation was having no luck with the women this week, not for a lack of trying. He wined and dined women in the hot tub with champagne and no frills potato chips.

And toasted to "being Italian."

But alas, neither he nor Pauly could seal the deal. One girl even gave the old "I've got my period" line to keep his hands out of her pants, when we all know—some from personal experience—that girls are extra horny on their periods.

The best part is that right after Pauly asked her if something was wrong, he asked her if she was hungry.

Between his ego, his fitness routine, The situation reminds me a lot of Dirk Diggler, but without any of the sex.

I wonder if The Situation is asking this girl if she's hungry.

And I wonder if this guy is asking Pauly D if he's hungry.

And although the boys hit a dry spell with the ladies, it was pouring rain at the beach. So they went to a tanning salon.

And now for the ballad of Snooki and Russ/Ron.

Seriously, no joke, this is not a game, I'm not playin: How can you not love this girl?

We got to meet Snooki's mom!

That special gift from her vagina is a vagina gift that keeps on giving:

It's going to be really hard not calling her Snooki Puss.

Last but not least, there was that horrible punch to the face. It's crazy that this guy cold clocked her, but even crazier because it came out of nowhere. Their was no escalation in threats or shoving or any remotely intimidating atmosphere.

But it's helped make these kids huge stars. They're like the Beatles.

For someone who's in the tequila game, Tamra's husband Simon is one uptight asshole. It's like, God, have a shot, guy. As grating as Vicki can be, I actually admire her the most out of the entire cast because she seems to be a real girls' girl, a hard worker, autonomous, and didn't just blindly leave her financial stability in the hands of her husband. The result is that she's the only one who can literally write a check that she can cash. Simon is so transparent in his summation that Vicki is jealous of the kind of relationship he has with his wife. He's clearly insecure about his own shaky financial standing, and is threatened by a woman who is successful and independent. His bullshit line about how Vicki is a bad influence on his wife Tamra is troubling.


And in other news, there's Lynn, who was all hopped up on pain pills. How did these ladies not like her last season?

A Real Life Jersey Shore Protest [FourFour]

Related: New 'Nine' Trailer: Anyone Rooting For A Kate Hudson Comeback? [EW]

Amber (featured in the first clip) dropped out of high school in the 11th grade when she became pregnant with her daughter Leah. She lives with Leah's father, and is dealing with what seems to be a particularly nasty case of post-partum depression. Now that her daughter is no longer an infant, Amber wants to complete her high school diploma, but learns that her lack of funds, her difficulty with math, and her busy schedule means that she will have to opt for a GED instead. While speaking with her career counselor, Amber realizes that getting a high school education is much more difficult to accomplish after one has dropped out. She breaks down and says that she "screwed up [her] whole life." While the scene is sad, I always wonder about people who talk about how they don't have any money, but have perfectly manicured false nails. Fill-ins and upkeep on that shit is expensive!

In the clip to the left, Maci is still dealing with the same issues with her fiancé she confronted in 16 and Pregnant. Her intended isn't an attentive parent, and he goes out with his friends all night long every night of the week. She stays up waiting for him until dawn—while keeping her baby awake with her. In the end, she writes him a Dear John letter, and moves back in with her parents.


Catelynn and Tyler's story is perhaps the most heartbreaking. They made a completely selfless decision by giving their daughter up for adoption, knowing that another family could provide her with a better life than they could. As part of the agreement, the couple were promised that theirs would be an open adoption, that they'd be able to see their daughter multiple times a year, and that they would be a part of her life. However, the adoptive parents decided to not disclose their last name to the couple, and didn't made good on any of their promises to include Catelynn and Tyler in the baby's life.