Jezebel: Swimsuits

The Swimsuit Just For Ladies Who Want To Set Things On Fire

Dodai Stewart — Wed, 27 Jul 2011 12:10:00 EDT

Today we stumbled on this image from July of 1955. The caption reads: More »

There Is No Such Thing As A Bikini Body

Dodai Stewart — Thu, 26 May 2011 14:30:00 EDT

If you read tabloids or ladymags, pay attention to advertising campaigns, or happen to live on planet Earth, you know that the one thing women are supposed to strive for — more than a functioning body, a healthy body, or a strong body — is a bikini body. More »

Fuck You, Cheryl Burke

Dodai Stewart — Tue, 01 Feb 2011 12:28:00 EST

[We have ANOTHER fucking Snowpocalypse here, and you are all pretty and happy in your glorious watermelon bikini, damn you. Just look at the color of the water! FUCK. Dominican Republic, January 20. Images via Pacific Coast News Online.] More »

Show Off Your Christmas Cookie Bloat With 3 Hideous Swimsuits From Victoria's Secret

Dodai Stewart — Fri, 07 Jan 2011 19:15:00 EST

After the stuffed Thanksgiving turkey, caloric Christmas cookies and guzzles of champagne on New Year's Eve, what you really want to do is shop for a swimsuit, right? The Victoria's Secret swimsuit catalog has arrived just in time! More »

New York Post Cruelly Mocks Non-Famous Older Lady

Dodai Stewart — Fri, 07 Jan 2011 16:14:00 EST

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It's pretty fucked up to compare former Playboy Playmate Victoria Silvstedt to an innocent gray-haired lady who just happened to be nearby, and call the lady, who is probably someone's grandma, "lumpy." Nice job, New York Post. More »

A Day At The Beach With Coco And Ice-T

Dodai Stewart — Mon, 04 Oct 2010 19:12:00 EDT

In New York right now, it is 53°, overcast and drizzly. But in Miami Beach, the high is 85°, and Coco Austin (along with husband Ice-T) is soaking up the rays with a sunny attitude! More »

Swimwear Week's Most Brilliant And Unfortunate Styles

Jenna Sauers — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 16:15:00 EDT

Miami's annual festival of spray-tan and spandex, otherwise known as swimwear fashion week, packed up its bronzers and stiletto sandals yesterday. While there were some pretty suits, there was also a whole lotta fug. More »

How Not to Obsess About Looking Fat in a Swimsuit and F-ing Enjoy Yourself!

Ragen Chastain — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 17:00:00 EDT

It seems that almost every woman I know, of any size, starts to have panic attacks the first time she sees swimsuits out on the floor of her favorite store. More »

J.Crew's Summer Abroad: Sweet Swimsuits, Sharp Shorts & Dreadful Dresses

Dodai Stewart — Fri, 28 May 2010 15:30:00 EDT

Memorial day is the unofficial start of summer, and J.Crew has what you need to kick off the season: Slinky little bathing suits, preppy little shorts, and dresses so hideous you may need to shield your eyes. More »

Yet Another Ladyparts-Cover That Looks Like Ladyparts

Dodai Stewart — Tue, 04 May 2010 19:40:00 EDT

A suggestive bottom is only $98 at Anthropologie! Writes blogger Debby, "I'm pretty much vagina-friendly as it goes… But this vulva bikini? It's probably not for me." Actually, that could be a labia? [MySexProfessor.com, Earlier] More »

12 Swimsuits To Avoid At All Costs This Summer

Jenna Sauers — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 19:00:40 EDT

Swimsuits. No matter how you feel about those particular bits of nylon-spandex that cover our bits in the warmer months, it should be known that there are some designers who do not even seem to be trying. Consider yourself warned. More »

Swimsuits You'll Actually Want To Wear: The Retro Look

Sadie Stein — Fri, 02 Apr 2010 17:20:00 EDT

As we all know, swimsuits are a highly-charged issue. But, kids, if you're wary, this is your year: It's all about glam and flattering Old Hollywood looks that Marilyn — or you — would happily sport. More »

March Anthropologie: A Lush, Tropical Dream With Nightmarish Shoes

Dodai Stewart — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 16:20:00 EST

Vivid verdant backdrops dominate March's Anthropologie catalog, which showed up in mailboxes last night, and the tropical fever dream carries right into the clothes: Hothouse flowers splashed on swimsuits; palm-leaf print dresses. The shoes, however, should be burned like kudzu. More »

January At J. Crew: Sequin Shorts, Shitty Shoes & Other Insanities

Dodai Stewart — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 15:40:00 EST

After aggressively pushing product all fall and right up to the holiday frenzy in December, J. Crew has the audacity to show up in the mailbox with a happy, light, carefree January catalog. Worse: There's barely anything good. More »

Post-Holiday Bloat? Tough: It's Swimsuit Season At Victoria's Secret

Dodai Stewart — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 17:20:00 EST

If you stuffed yourself on Thanksgiving, nibbled treats through December and washed it all down with a boozy New Year's Eve while frigid temps kept you sun-deprived, know this: Victoria's Secret thinks you're ready to shimmy into a skimpy swimsuit. More »

Miss California Pageant Distances Itself From Swimsuits, Carrie Prejean

Anna North — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 17:20:00 EDT

The 2009 Miss California Pageant, coming up next month, will eliminate sashes and swimsuits in an effort to "reflect the progressive attitudes of the contestants as well as our forward- looking state." More »

Burkini Ban

Katy Kelleher — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 11:40:00 EDT

Gianluca Buonanno, mayor of Varallo Sesia, Italy, has banned women from wearing burkinis at public pools. He justifies the ban by claiming that children "might be alarmed" by the suit, and that it could be unhygienic. [UPI] More »

All Hands On Deck

Anna Holmes — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 15:10:00 EDT

[Miami, July 16. Image via Getty]

Bikini Kill

Sadie Stein — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 16:20:00 EDT

In honor of the Bikini's 60th birthday, Slate brings us a gallery of two-piece images. Fashion editors can count their blessings: without its invention, there might not have been a bathing suit for every body type. [Slate] More »

Palm Monday

Anna Holmes — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 16:10:00 EDT

[Beijing, June 8. Image via Getty]

The Best Sears Kids' Fashions For Spring… Of 1972

Dodai Stewart — Tue, 05 May 2009 16:00:00 EDT

Last week, we quarreled over qiana as we paged through the best women's fashions from this 1972 Sears catalog. This week is child's play! Psychedelic patterns, Perma-Prest pants and tiny trenches, after the jump. More »

Lucky's "Best" Swimsuits Also The Smallest, Least Supportive

Dodai Stewart — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 15:00:00 EDT

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In addition to the $6,000 closet, Lucky's May issue also features a "Best Swimsuits Of The Season" feature, in which "best" means "teeny bikinis which barely cover the areolae and pubic mound." More »

Glamour Tries Not To Make A Big Deal Of Its Plus-Size Model

Dodai Stewart — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 14:00:00 EDT

Glamour Tries Not To Make A Big Deal Of Its Plus-Size Model" alt="Click here to read Glamour Tries Not To Make A Big Deal Of Its Plus-Size Model" src="http://cache.jezebel.com/assets/images/39/2012/01/small_a30b0264bb8b578a195b42fd3d204e05.jpg"/>

The May cover of Glamour teases "The Sexiest Swimsuit For Your Shape." And once you open the mag, you'll discover that — gasp — they actually shot women with a variety of bodies! More »

This Week We Were Not Afraid To Be Servicey

Jessica G. — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 18:00:00 EDT

Slut Machine finally revealed her makeup secrets by painting the tender, bearded visage of Gavin McInnes.
Sadie debunked the art of the Facebook photo, and proved that every last one of us is a loser.
Technicolor Kiddie Swimsuit EXTRAVAGANZA!
Moe is a Jezebel no moe. But don't worry, she'll be sticking around these parts in spirit and in Crap.
In our dream world, all insane divorce cases would be tried in the court of Judge Judy.
LOLHillz!
LOLVogue! Week of 10,000 LOLZ!

Endless Summer: The Technicolor Kiddie Swimsuit Extravaganza

Maria — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 14:00:00 EDT

Here it is, ladies and gentlemen: the collection of your childhood swimsuits for this month's Past Fashion. After the jump, lots of rainbows, polka dots, ruffles, and bows — not to mention the gold medallions seen at left; no wonder she made the coveted cover of Camper's Digest. (Note: To protect the innocent, our friend Ariel the Little Mermaid popped into the photos where non-Jezebels were found.) More »

Past Fashion

Maria — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 09:45:00 EDT

Just a reminder, folks: we are still looking for photos for this month's Past Fashion!. Our theme for July: Childhood swimsuits. So send them on over to photos@jezebel.com and supply us with the necessary info (location, date, name if you want to give it to us) and be sure to tell us who you are in the photo if it is a group picture. Also, please try to keep photos between 300 to 500 pixels in width, if possible. We have extended the deadline to July 23rd, by 6 p.m. (EST) so, call your mom and have her scan some of your cutest/most horrible swimsuit photos ASAP. More »

Past Fashion

Maria — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 15:30:00 EDT

Hey Jezebels! Don't forget to submit your retro swimsuit photos from your childhood for this month's installment of Past Fashion. We are looking for pictures of you in your glitteriest, brightest, and silliest swim suits from years past. Email them to photos@jezebel.com with your name, the year and place the photo was taken, and an indication of who you are in the photo if it is a group shot. Commenters can also tell us their commenter handles. Please try to keep photos around 300 to 500 pixels in width, if possible. Send photos before July 20th to get your photo included. More »

What I (L)earned On My Summer Vacation…

Moe — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 15:40:00 EDT

A story in today's Wall Street Journal examines the intensifying competitiveness of the lifeguarding job market. Beach lifeguards in California make $20 an hour and barf during lifeguard training, which is like boot camp sort of, and instructors ask things like "Are your fun buckets full?" and no one answers. And while this has nothing to do with that, I'm going to tell you about the time I was a lifeguard, back in high school. The high school summer job, you see, is a moribund tradition, but back in Generation X dead-end minimum wage jobs were relatively easy to find and in middle-class suburbs it was expected you had one. What the fuck else were you going to do? (Catholics don't do camp.) And fuck if lifeguarding wasn't the best fucking job in the universe. You get paid to sit. And tan. And thus enjoy the rare opportunity that is looking good in a swimsuit. And occasionally clean things that aren't particularly dirty to begin with, because they've got chlorine bumping up against them all day. I started at $4.65 and worked my way up to $10 as a "pool operator." More »

Isn't The Swimsuit Just Inherently Evil?

Moe — Thu, 15 May 2008 14:00:00 EDT

There are few garments I loathe more than the swimsuit. I don't really like going in water, or getting sand in my crotch, or getting urinary tract infections from the sand and sweat and chlorinated water in my crotch, or being reminded of how unforgivably white my skin is, or how inexplicably tan everyone else managed to get (WTF?), or what imminent cancer feels like. HOWEVER. There's a story about the return of retro swimsuits in today's Times that rips off an Observer article of a fortnight ago that reminded me of the real reason I dislike swimsuits: they are inherently terrible. I mean, here I was, looking at some of these pictures, thinking, "Hey, maybe I could rock one of these things!", and nodding along to lines like "Then again, this is precisely the costume required by the lazy-skinny girl of the moment, the one who eschews Equinox for Spanx, just like grandma," when I realized, Holy shit, did I just almost endorse the swimsuit worn by Annette Funicello in Beach Blanket Bingo; kill me now. More »